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A S I L E N T R E T R E AT F O R T H E T H I S PA S T FA L L , I SIGNED UP FOR A TWOD AY A D V E N T U R E that
would push me well out of my comfort zone, as I entered 43 hours of silence— easy for some—difficult for this curious extrovert. The purpose of a silent retreat is to be receptive to the signals that life, God, the universe, or your deep self will give you. There was apprehension as I live in a world with constant chatter and noise everywhere. I realized that rarely am I in silence, mostly because I like loads of sound. I had to ask myself, “Why do I run from silence?” I arrived early to take advantage of a one-on-one session called Spiritual Direction. This was the first step in focusing my intention for the retreat. I was encouraged not to force the outcome and to relax into whatever would be revealed to me.
Before meeting my retreat mates, I decided to take a hike alone through the woods. I had a mental dialogue going on in my head that was spinning out of control and included:
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I shouldn’t take time off work in November.
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This is selfish.
There are bears in the woods and they need to eat A LOT before hibernation.
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What if I talk and get sent home early for disruptive behavior.
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I think I am hearing dueling banjos in the distance (if you are young that is a reference from the movie Deliverance).
Nancy Beard is a certified life coach who works with women to help them “Find Their Joy.” Connect with Nancy to learn about individual coaching or motivational speaking at nancybeardcoaching@ gmail.com or at www.nancybeardcoachingllc.com.
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That neurotic voice in my head went to war with me and I shut it down by addressing each thought: 1 I have approved vacation time.
Who determines selfish? I call this self-care, selfimprovement, or a healthy challenge that pushes me out of my comfort zone. 2
Bears have slowed down and if indeed I look like the Last Super then they better be ready for a fight. 3
4 Really? I am pretty much a rule follower, the student who arrives 15 minutes early with homework in hand. I doubt this would be my moment for detention or suspension—no matter how tough. 5 Deliver me from Deliverance Dueling Deliverance! banjos are surely played in a different part of the North Carolina mountains and not on this sacred ground.
So, I battled the brain, enjoyed my hike, and set out to meet my eleven silent friends (only seven made it to the finale and walked the ceremonial labyrinth). I was surprised at how easy it was to go into silence. I spent the time reading, writing, thinking, remembering strange things like the names of boyfriends from elementary school. Here are a few of my takeaways:
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Nature and life are everchanging. Autumn brings dying of leaves and weakening of the trees but there is still an abundance of beauty.
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Everything has a time and a season. Silence really is golden.
There is never total silence if you listen for a beautiful symphony of sound that surrounds us including: wind blowing, leaves rustling, deer scampering, an occasional fly, and maybe a babbling brook.
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A deeper practice of gratitude will always lead to JOY.
After my retreat, I was pondering my time in silence and a song from my days attending church played in my head: “It Is Well In My Soul Soul.” That was my big takeaway—I felt calm in my soul. I was rested and renewed. w WRITER NANCY BEARD
