An Intersection of Trauma for Men

inner peace". Robert simply states that he got sober and got a clear head. Dean was “driven

by headaches and emotional pain to seek help. Danny had to acknowledge that inside he was

hurting, that he had “contributed to the downfall of his long-term relationship and that (I)

needed to work on himself inside and relationally.” “I sought out help following a period of

deep depression." Sid started counseling because of “patterns of anxiety and the need for

acceptance.” He stated, "I was creating a sense of identity. I want to know who I was so I

could know what to do in life." Process of Recovery Pattern 3: The Qualities of the

The participants highly valued the qualities of the therapeutic relationship. First, they

valued how the therapist viewed them as a person and how the therapist treated them. Cory

was drawn to the therapist because, “he believed in me.” Dean recalls that entering therapy

was “very scary.” “I was afraid that the therapist would see me and that I would be rejected.”

Therefore Dean says, "It was very important to me that I felt heard and understood. Somehow

feeling understood - not necessarily agreed with - helped me recognize my perspective and

take responsibility for it.” “Trust was critical for me and I would not have continued if I didn’t

trust the person of the therapist.” Robert highlights that the nonjudgmental, love and

acceptance of the therapist's was critical.

Sid points out that not seeing the therapist was important. “I couldn't figure it out

because he wanted to know me. I was so used to shaping myself to who I was with but he kept

putting it back on me. The counselor listened to me.” The result was, “I felt accepted and that

I belong.” Being engaged in this way enabled Sid to “switch off the defenders and engage in

self- examination and go deeper into myself.” Experiencing consistently a non-judgmental