inner peace". Robert simply states that he got sober and got a clear head. Dean was “driven by headaches and emotional pain to seek help. Danny had to acknowledge that inside he was hurting, that he had “contributed to the downfall of his long-term relationship and that (I) needed to work on himself inside and relationally.” “I sought out help following a period of deep depression." Sid started counseling because of “patterns of anxiety and the need for acceptance.” He stated, "I was creating a sense of identity. I want to know who I was so I could know what to do in life." Process of Recovery Pattern 3: The Qualities of the Therapeutic Relationship The participants highly valued the qualities of the therapeutic relationship. First, they valued how the therapist viewed them as a person and how the therapist treated them. Cory was drawn to the therapist because, “he believed in me.” Dean recalls that entering therapy was “very scary.” “I was afraid that the therapist would see me and that I would be rejected.” Therefore Dean says, "It was very important to me that I felt heard and understood. Somehow feeling understood - not necessarily agreed with - helped me recognize my perspective and take responsibility for it.” “Trust was critical for me and I would not have continued if I didn’t trust the person of the therapist.” Robert highlights that the nonjudgmental, love and acceptance of the therapist's was critical.
Sid points out that not seeing the therapist was important. “I couldn't figure it out because he wanted to know me. I was so used to shaping myself to who I was with but he kept putting it back on me. The counselor listened to me.” The result was, “I felt accepted and that I belong.” Being engaged in this way enabled Sid to “switch off the defenders and engage in self- examination and go deeper into myself.” Experiencing consistently a non-judgmental
