MUSE Magazine Issue XV by MUSE Magazine

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Contents

L I F E ST Y L E My Life With Boys

Overcoming My Invisible Illness

The Casual Culture

FAS H I O N The Future of Calvin Klein Under Raf Simons

Real World Fashion on a Real World Budget

Modesty’s Majesty

From the Rockies to the Runway

E N T E R TA I N M E N T Rap is a Gimmick, Hip-Hop is a Culture

Discovering Your Dad’s Music

Keepin’ it Real

I Love Mindy, I Swear

Much Tattoo About Nothing

Confidence in Concrete

Gallery and the ‘Gram

Film Photography

ARTS

MUSE’INGS

This is Not a Metaphor

Fourteen

This is Home

Ache-y Break-y

Servitude

Normalizing a Normal Thing

Getting Used to Familiar

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remember sitting down at the end of August thinking about my future. My mind was filled with so many unanswered questions: What was I doing after graduation? Did I want to go to med school, or work on my start-up? No matter how much I thought about my future, I was still left with no idea. Over the past few months, I’ve come to terms with the unknown, and I’ve learned to appreciate ambiguity. By not having a set plan, I’ve allowed myself to explore and take risks I wouldn’t have otherwise. Now, I have nothing but excitement for the journey I am about to embark on.

I approached MUSE Issue XV in a similar way. I didn’t want to start off with a set vision, or specific direction to take the magazine in … that would only create boundaries. The vision for Issue XV came naturally—through trial and error, through experimentation, and through the inception of new ideas. I wanted to establish an environment for our team that encouraged risk-taking and creative thinking. Taking risks was imperative to our creative process, as it expanded our self-imposed limitations, resulting in an unimaginable level of personal and creative growth. Our team has demonstrated the passion and commitment necessary to making MUSE Issue XV truly impeccable. As I wrap up my closing remarks, I feel nothing but excitement for you, the reader, as you flip through these next few pages and experience the unexpected. Sometimes you have to let go, and let creative exploration drive you forward. I’ve learned that more often than not, you will be happily surprised. I hope this issue inspires you the way it has so greatly inspired me. Yours creatively,

Amy Yu & the MUSE team

My Life With Boys

The Yays, Nays, and How-Tos of Co-Ed Living BY K Y R A SM I T H

Nearly every time I tell someone about my living conditions—two girls, four guys, two and half bathrooms—people are surprised and sometimes even sorry for me. I don’t know why. After all, I signed the lease on my own free will. Having extended their condolences, their next step is to usually ask “So, what’s it like?” as if my friend and I are the first females to ever venture into the unknown world of co-ed living. Honestly, hasn’t anyone seen New Girl? So, having taken one for the team (just kidding), I’m here to reveal exactly what goes on when you live with a group of guys. Here are a few of my observations so far:

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1. Contrary to popular belief, they aren’t pigs. Not only did they set up a chore list, but our boys (as we affectionately call them) voluntarily pick up the broom way more often than us girls. And this is especially impressive, considering most of what they sweep up is our hair. They have since requested—to no avail—that we shave our heads. 2. Compared to us girls, who politely declined to take their hairstyle advice, the boys are surprisingly open to considering our personal grooming suggestions. In fact, we have already successfully convinced one of the guys to let us touch-up his eyebrows. Fashion, however, is a bit different; as it turns out, clothes are optional. Apparently, there is a clause in the bro code stating that at any point in time, at least one male member of the house must be missing an article of clothing. Whether it be a shirt or pants, this rule is followed consistently. It is also not unusual for guys to wear one outfit spread amongst the group. Thankfully, this does not extend to undergarments. 3. Strutting around the house sans-shirt takes a certain amount of self-confidence, and this confidence is infectious. Nonetheless, these boys rely heavily on their mothers. I once watched one of the boys call his mom to read her the instructions from a bag of frozen food. This was, presumably, so she could confirm that yes, he can read, and no, the food company was not trying to trick him. Additionally, cooking skills are limited, but the boys are eager to learn. On multiple occasions, I have

been called into the kitchen to oversee food prep and provide emotional support along the way. Trust me when I say that watching them do dishes is one of the funniest, most endearing things I have ever seen. That said, over the course of several weeks I’ve witnessed a remarkable improvement in their abilities. 4. Your snacks are never safe! Perhaps this is due to their culinary short-comings, but boys are perfectly comfortable helping themselves to your bag of tortilla chips. I naively thought that I no longer had to guard my food when I moved out from home, but, alas, I was wrong. If I’m being honest, there

have been several minor scuffles over snack-stealing, and they are not likely to end anytime soon. 5. Sometimes random things just show up in your living room. I’ve learned it’s best not to ask too many questions. 6. The live-in security detail is a plus. My heart melted when my housemates swore that if anyone tried to hurt us girls, they would protect us. They are also very useful when it comes to

investigating strange noises at night time. 7. Occasionally, they will come to you for girl advice. Whether it’s crafting a rejection text, deciding if they should pursue a girl, or determining if it was, in fact, a date, our boys will count on us to help with all of the above. Alternatively, they provide valuable insight as to the male brain. Having lived with four guys, I realized that men really don’t notice as much as I thought they did. They’ve also taught me how to get free drinks with minimal effort, so that’s a bonus! 8. While this isn’t a new revelation, I must address the fact that boys have an arsenal of sex-related humour prepped for launch at any moment. I swear, a portion of their brain is dedicated to scanning for opportunities to deploy their most salacious, vulgar jokes. And since we’re on the topic, it should be noted that sex lives are open to discussion. Boundaries? What are those? 9. Most of all … it’s fun. Sure, we’re in the proverbial honeymoon stages right now, but if the last few weeks are any indication of how the rest of the year is headed, I think we’re in for some good times. If anyone out there is thinking about living with boys, I can honestly tell you to go for it. You’ll learn, you’ll (hopefully) laugh, and you’ll definitely make some lifelong memories. Just be sure to hide your snacks.

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Overcoming My Invisible Illness BY E M R Y J OY TOM M AS I N I

What does a person with a disability look like? In a world where people can be quick to base judgements off first impressions, it is easy to forget that disabilities exist and manifest themselves in a variety of ways. When I was three years old, my parents found out that I had a hearing disability; I was born with 75% loss in my left ear, and 25% loss in my right. Having a disability that is not immediately apparent undoubtedly made my life different than the average personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. Although invisible on the outside, my condition is ever-present in my day-to-day life.

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ue to the high possibility that I could become permanently deaf in the event of a head injury, my parents were told I could never participate in any sports or athletic activities. Because it was hard to fully comprehend the situation at such a young age, I did not understand the extent to which my diagnosis could affect not only my childhood, but also my future. Back in grade one, I remember the frustration I felt when watching my peers play soccer during recess. Every now and then they would invite me to join, but I always had to decline, despite not fully understanding why. A few years later, I fell in love with gymnastics. At that point, gymnastics became my passion and my source of happiness. However, my career as a professional gymnast was short-lived, and I was forced to give it up after a year due to the risks involved. I was left heartbroken and confused. Fast forward a few years, I was sent to a summer camp. Growing up constantly protected and sheltered from most forms of physical activity, camp was a whole new world—it allowed me to participate in an infinite amount of activities I never thought I would be able to. One afternoon, I was sailing on the lake with a friend. That day, I was in charge of managing the ropes to make sure we would not tip over. If you sail, you know that the most important thing when managing the ropes is to ensure you are ducking your head during turns. As fate would have it, my friend spontaneously made a

sharp turn, leaving me with little time to react. In a matter of seconds, a heavy six-foot metal rod, otherwise known as the boom, swung across the boat and hit the back of my head. The force was so strong that I immediately lost my balance and fell into the water. I started to laugh as my friend sailed away, thinking the situation was hilarious. However, panic ensued when I looked up to see my instructor in a motorboat five feet away. I realized something that I feared most—I couldn’t hear the engine. I could see my instructor gesturing at me and mouthing words, but I wasn’t able hear anything. I didn’t know this at the time, but the entire event unfolded in a matter of 20 minutes. The only thing I could hear was a persistent ringing noise in my head. In that time, I experienced a wave of terrified emotions that I never thought I would feel. This isn’t real, I thought. Am I actually deaf? My heart was racing at a million miles per second, accompanied by my sobbing as I sat there, shaking in disbelief and fear. When sounds finally started to enter my head, I was able to calm down. The amount of relief and happiness I felt solely from hearing the people around me was indescribable. In case you were wondering, I never went sailing with that friend again. After that incident, I convinced myself that I would no longer view my disability as a fundamental part of me. I hated the risk, the scare, and the annoyance it brought to me and those around me. When I began middle school, I was

determined that my disability would no longer be a problem, but even then I could not escape the daily struggles of my hearing loss. I spent three years denying that I even had hearing loss and refused to wear my hearing aids. Although at first I saw the sixth grade as my perfect opportunity for a fresh start, the following years were not at all what I had expected. It took years of constant exclusion and harassment until I finally realized that the mistake was in trying to erase my disability. It was a part of me, whether I liked it or not, and I was determined to embrace it, rather than continue hiding it. On the first day of high school, I walked through the halls, proudly wearing my hearing aids. After a lifetime of feeling inferior because of my differences, I finally realized that being different is not a weakness. On the contrary, it has made me stronger and more determined to live my life the way I choose to. But most importantly, I have realized that my disability makes me special. I cannot escape it or pretend like it doesn’t exist; my hearing loss is a part of my life. Every time someone becomes frustrated or angry because I can’t hear them, my heart breaks, because I am just as frustrated and angry at myself as they are. I learned that it is easy for people to become desensitized to others’ daily struggles if they do not experience them firsthand. Sticks and stones may break bones, but words can hurt the most—choose them wisely. L I F E ST Y L E 9

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R AC H E L + S O R E N P H O TO G R A P H Y BY ZO E Z I M M E R M A N C R E AT I V E D I R E C TO R : K A R I N A R E B E L L ATO

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M U S E M AGA Z I N E M A K E U P BY C H A R LO T T E M C N A I R A N D A P R I L C H R I ST I A N S E N C R E AT I V E T E A M : V I C TO R I A C H A N , O L I V I A J A N U S , J A N E B R A D S H AW, D O N AVA N W I L L I A M S

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Coffee and a Chat

with NORTHSIDE espresso + kitchen

t found its place on the Princess Street strip in February of this year, and has been the go-to spot for Sunday brunch since. With a menu full of options to satisfy not only your tastebuds, but also your daily caffeine dose, NORTHSIDE espresso + kitchen is the place to be. Inspired by Australian café culture, owners Jess and Cade opened NORTHSIDE espresso + kitchen in hopes of sharing with the Kingston community the best flat white and avocado smash one could only dream of. At 7:30 in the morning, coffee undoubtedly in hand, I sat down with Cade and learned a little bit about NORTHSIDE espresso + kitchen—her favourite menu item? Yes please. Q: What is the history behind NORTHSIDE espresso + kitchen? When Jess and I moved from Melbourne to Kingston we noticed there were really great coffee shops and really great restaurants, but there was nowhere that did coffee and food together, giving equal attention to both. At home, the cafés all include the trinity of great food, great coffee, and great service. We wanted to bring something here that has all three of those elements. Q: Tell us a bit about your Australian background. I’d say our food is based a little bit on Australian food. Everything is supposed to be fresh and vibrant. Also, at home, coffee is really respected. I think coffee can be seen as a “fuel” here … it’s as though you have to drink a coffee in order to get going. At home, we focus on espresso drinks, so it’s more about sitting and enjoying. It’s about taking a minute to enjoy your drink with friends rather than getting a coffee and rushing out the door. Q: What is your favourite menu item? I’d have to say the Brekkie Bowl, because it’s always changing. It’s one that you’ll never get tired of. I never get tired of the Brekkie Bowl … or the Avo Smash. Q: What’s one thing you wish people knew about NORTHSIDE espresso + kitchen? Jess and I put everything into this place. We sold everything in Australia, moved here, and this is what we did. Everything that we bring in to this place, we’ve thought about and cared about. We’ve tried to be very thoughtful about everything. For us, it’s almost like having a little piece of home here.

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The Casual Culture BY TA I S A M O R S K Y

t’s two a.m., and the redundant conversation has come up again. This isn’t the first time, and I am sure it won’t be the last. I roll over, pick up my phone, and stare numbly into the bright light. Normally, this would make me feel all sorts of butterflies, accompanied by an almost irritatingly elated smile. Now, the feeling mostly resembles a pit in my stomach. I am not smiling. But I can do casual! I don’t need commitment, I’m too busy for that, I think as I try to convince not only him, but also myself of the words that appear one by one on the screen. A weak attempt to keep him around for another day, a week at most. The subconscious hope that casual becomes something more. It’s a culture that permeates the already confusing social structure of university, especially at Queen’s. On a campus where it is nearly impossible to make it down University without seeing a friendly face, hooking up and dating have become concepts that many struggle to agree on. Before coming to university, I used to believe dating was black and white. There was a singular purpose. The revered “boyfriend/girlfriend.” The end goal. Suddenly, my already limited knowledge of relationships was questioned. People hooked up. They saw each other, and other people. They kept things casual. A concept very unfamiliar and difficult for me to embrace. It intrigued me. The idea that you could be extremely vulnerable and intimate with someone one day, only to give them a quick wave the next. And for a large portion of my peers, this works. Being part of the casual culture satisfies their needs in a

healthy and consensual way. I am in no way criticizing those who navigate their relationships on this spectrum; conversely, I have a lot of respect for these individuals. I think it is empowering to know who you are and what you want. To be able to convey that and find someone who can reciprocate those desires, just as one would in a relationship. But on a campus where commitment seems to evade me, and more people fall along the casual spectrum, where do I fit in? I tried to make the jump, to convince myself that I, too, could be a part of this culture. But I was lying—to myself and to him, and in a similar way he was lying to me too. He was never going to commit, regardless of how long we kept our casual encounters up, and I wasn’t ever truly going to be content without the reassurance of a solid relationship. We both knew what we wanted, and I have learned that that is completely okay. It is okay to want nothing more or nothing less than exactly what you want. There isn’t any shame in falling on either side of the spectrum, whether it’s full blown commitment or as casual as you can get. I have discovered that it is only

important to stay true to what makes you fulfilled. That you fill your life with relationships that are healthy and enjoyable and exactly what you need. So to all those out there trying to change themselves to mirror the wants of someone else, you don’t have to. Step back, re-evaluate what makes your heart happy, what makes you wake up and feel like you are exactly where you need to be, and choose that. University is a wild, incredible, confusing time, and a huge part of that is learning, growing and becoming authentically you. So love yourself, love other people. Hey, love whoever you want, whenever you want, however you want. And just know that whatever you decide is completely valid, and no amount of roof top chats under the stars, or Pillsbury cookies should ever change that.

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The Future of Calvin Klein Under Raf Simmons BY H A N N A A LY

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n extremely artistic, wellknown name has taken over Calvin Klein. Raf Simons, highly adored in the high-fashion world of couture, has become the new creative director of Calvin Klein. Calvin Klein, once known for its American sportswear, comfortable underwear, and perfectly fitted jeans, is being reinvented under Simons: it has morphed into a high-fashion brand with an American twist. Under his direction, Simons aims to bring back the energy and excitement that was once attributed to the formerly booming fashion house. Raf Simons is acclaimed for being one of the greatest designers of his generation, and Calvin Klein hopes that he will be able to revive the dying brand by taking on the role of creative director. Reinventing a fashion house is no simple task; reinventing an American fashion house is even more ambitious. The American fashion industry, as of late, has suffered blow after blow to its image. The decline of the American fashion industry is exemplified by this year’s New York Fashion Week, where four high fashion brands opted to show their collections in Paris instead of New York. This choice came as no major shock since American brands have been dying down for the past few years and there is not much excitement surrounding New York Fashion itself, especially in comparison to other fashion weeks around the world. American fashion brands and the American fashion scene as a whole are looking to Raf Simons’s takeover of Calvin Klein as the means to give New York fashion week a much-needed boost.

Raf Simons has drastically changed Calvin Klein’s creative vision by putting his own spin on the brand. Calvin Klein has gone from a very sleek, minimalist “American Sportswear” look, to a more futuristic, avante-garde vibe under the creative supervision of Simons. From floral latex skirts to barely-there tops with exaggerated, après skithemed sleeves, it is clear that Simons is putting his own twist on things. Simons isn’t just redesigning the clothing of Calvin Klein, he is also redesigning the brand’s image in popular culture. His choice of attendees in the front row were young, hip, chic A-listers that ranged from Lupita Nyong’o to Jake Gyllenhaal. The brand has also hired Paris Jackson as their new spokeswoman. Raf Simons has also introduced a new line up of models to promote his most recent ready-to-wear collection in an attempt—which is working—to add freshness to the label. Once being defined by its sultry, seductive campaigns featuring Brooke Shields, the fashion house is changing course. Fashion’s newest “ItGirl,” model Kaia Gerber, made her debut on the Calvin Klein runway, attracting the attention of the new generation of Calvin Klein wearers. All of these developments have pro-

moted Simons’s vision for the future of the brand, a brand that he hopes will be “art constantly,” which is perpetually relevant to the intersecting fashion and art worlds. This revamp is necessary because of the seemingly slow demise Calvin Klein seems to be suffering. Calvin Klein is known as a household namebrand because of its instantly recognizable undergarments that have all donned the CK logo. Raf Simons understands that undergarments were once the image of the fashion house, but times have changed. Now, Simons wants the brand to be appreciated for more than its sultry ad campaigns and sexualized underwear. Calvin Klein’s other lines of clothing have not had much appreciation lately and the company’s growth has become stagnant. In an attempt to revive the American fashion house, Simons has chosen highly abstract muses to inspire his collection, while at the same time managing to keep the brand grounded in its wholesome, American roots. He has achieved these feats by combining things such as classic diner-like work uniforms with Warhol inspired prints, breathing modern art into classical Americana clothing. Simons is the only designer to have full creative control over the brand since Calvin Klein sold it to the Phillips-Van Heusen Corporation. With an upcoming collection in the spring of 2018, everyone will be looking at what Simons does next.

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Real World Fashion on a Real World Budget BY M E GA N T S E

niversity students no doubt spend countless dollars on frivolous things. A majority of students like to party every now and then, and with the idea of partying comes the notion of “going out clothes.” There are certain unspoken standards that both boys and girls are expected to adhere to when going out; girls are held to especially rigid standards and are routinely compelled to wear slinky tank tops and the shortest of miniskirts out on the town. A lot of students (especially girls) fail to realize that the amount of money they spend on scanty clothes could be put towards something more worthwhile. Building a professional wardrobe is an investment in itself, because classic work pieces tend to be more expensive than casual clothes. So why the rush into starting to invest in professional clothing? Having gone through numerous job interviews over the past couple of years, I have learned that you can never look too put-together when it comes to making a good first impression. Plus, it is always better to show up overdressed than underdressed in any professional situation. I absolutely love to shop and am the worst when it comes to trying on items

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just “for fun.” I struggle to justify to myself that something is not worth buying. In order to dress well while saving money, I follow these four steps: 1. CUT BACK ON EXTRANEOUS AND IMPULSIVE EXPENSES. This rule does not apply directly to investing in professional clothes, but instead helps me save money on a daily basis. Expensive items may set you back a large sum of money immediately, but it is the little things that sneakily add up, too. Packing a lunch for school or brewing coffee at home instead of buying it when out are good ways of avoiding needless daily expenditures. In the midst of a shopping trip, stop and think before buying trendy clothing items. In the wise words of Marie Kondo, hold the piece in your hands and ask yourself, “Does this item bring me joy?” If the answer is no, it is pretty obvious that the item is not worth the investment. Instead, start borrowing items from friends, or even resort to DIY clothing projects such as silk screening, ironing on cute patches, and embedding studs onto old shirts to revamp them. Not only do you save money yourself, but you also help your friends save, too!

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P H O TO G R A P H Y BY W I L L C R O SS - B E R M I N G H A M 2. STICK TO THE BASICS. Always start off investing in basic everyday items: blouses, slacks, skirts, blazers, practical shoes, and cardigans can all be easily mixed and matched with each other. Several items I would prioritize for purchase are a crisp white button-down, black pants, and most importantly a blazer; no professional wardrobe is complete without one. Blazers can easily be paired with cropped straight-leg pants, your favourite pencil skirt, and even a simple shift dress. 3. QUALITY OVER QUANTITY. When it comes to work clothes, quality should always come before quantity. You are always better off purchasing a pair of well-made and well-fitted pants as opposed to buying low-quality pants that are made of flimsy materials. However, keep in mind that many items have a high ticket price, but are

not necessarily high quality. Make a habit of checking for strongly-sewn stitches, flat-felled seams, and the materials of which a clothing piece is made of; natural fibres will always last longer than synthetic materials. I am a personal fan of Club Monaco, Aritzia, and J.Crew. These brands all have versatile and form-fitting clothes that can be easily dressed up for work and dressed down for everyday street wear. 4. MAKE A STATEMENT! Yes. Work attire can be boring, but that does not mean that you should stop yourself from standing out. Bold statement necklaces, patterned neck scarves, and timeless watches are all perfect accessories that will definitely bring some excitement to your outfits. Even a brightly coloured jacket or a glamorous pair of sunglasses can help you stand out in a crowd. Last but not least, find yourself the perfect bag that is both

practical and stylish at the same time. you stand out in a crowd! Last but not least, find yourself the perfect bag that is both practical and stylish at the same time.

Collecting quality items as part of a professional wardrobe is no doubt a timely process; waking up with a killer wardrobe overnight is an impossible feat, especially with limited student funds. It is important to keep track of what you buy and keep in mind what additional items you need to invest in. It is also a good idea to limit yourself to a specific number of purchases per month. By following the tips and tricks I have outlined here, building a professional wardrobe will be a lot easier, and you will be able to make a strong impression on recruiters and employers. FAS H I O N â&#x20AC;&#x192; 19

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J O S E P H + PA R I S P H O TO G R A P H Y BY L U C Y W E LS H M A K E U P BY J ASM I N E M O D U P E C R E AT I V E T E A M : V I C TO R I A C H A N A N D D O N AVA N WILLIAMS

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Modesty’s Majesty BY H A R E E R A L - Q A R AG O L I E

t is the repetitive yet iconic look: a Muslim woman wrapping a Louis Vuitton scarf into a hijab. This look has made me realize how limited the luxury fashion world can be for Muslim women. Back home in Jordan, women who preferred to dress more modestly for religious reasons expressed their fashion sense through their hijabs. It was a collection of scarves from Louis Vuitton, Hermes, Burberry, and other high-fashion brands that fulfilled their fashionable desires. When we think of modesty, we think of the limitations the word implies. Modesty is a broad term that has existed throughout time in history and culture. Over time, it became harder to segregate the word “modesty” from “faith”. However, with the rise of female fashion entrepreneurs who began to promote modest lines of clothing, modesty in turn became linked to elegance, sophistication, and empowerment. This movement is evidenced by Dolce and Gabbana’s Hijab and Abaya lines, Nike’s pro-hijab campaign, and Net-aPorter’s The Modest—a section for skirts below the knee and long-sleeved shirts. In addition, the attention received by Somalian model Halima Aden, the first ever practicing Muslim model, exemplifies the link between culture and 24 FAS H I O N

fashion. As a Muslim, I was always encouraged to dress more conservatively. Yet, for me, it was always a choice. I always had the option to choose how to dress, but I also had to respect the aspects of my faith that influenced these decisions. I incorporate aspects of my faith into my style. As a Muslim, I wear my religion on my sleeve. Islam has always been a major part of my life: it is present in my language, my morals, my personality, and even how I like to take my cup of tea (it’s not tea if there isn’t rose water in it). I deeply identify with where I come from. However, growing up was a challenge. Looking through the endless glossy pages of the iconic magazine Vogue, or whenever I went window-shopping, I felt out of place. Even though on occasion I would let my hair down, show a bit of skin, or wear skirts that were above my knees, I did not feel relevant within the fashion industry. I was torn between feeling included in the marvellous world of fashion, while also adhering to the moral principles of the Muslim faith. The successful combination of both seemed like wishful thinking.

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P H O TO G R A P H Y BY L U C Y W E LS H

I grew up loving the fashion industry because of all the bits and pieces found in my house. My Mother and Father have an amazing collection, including everything from Dior coats to Versace furniture. Elegance is very valued by my family. Yet, I couldn’t help but feel bored. My style was repetitive. I couldn’t experiment with what I was wearing because my options were so limited. I also couldn’t relate to anyone in the fashion industry because of the respect I have for my religious customs. In other words, I believed there was only one approach to looking stylish, and I did not fit in. When we think of the word hijab, we think of the headscarf a woman wears for Islamic purposes. There are negative and controversial depictions of the hijab in media these days, and people fail to see that there is a beautiful purpose behind the hijab and what it signifies to a Muslim woman: the peaceful and respectful values of Islam. Every woman with a hijab has a story of how she came to terms with this decision. The word hijab is Arabic for “barrier,” not garment. In my case, I wear a different type of hijab that doesn’t necessarily fit the Western definition of the word. I do not cover my hair and skin, but rather, the hijab I wear is a non-physical notion that keeps me grounded to my religion; it is a “barrier” that I feel

protects me. For me, there is nothing more sexy and powerful than taking control of your body and deciding who and what a person can or cannot see. That is the power of modesty that is usually overshadowed. The fashion world is ever-changing, and many Muslim fashion entrepreneurs and fashion bloggers have finally felt like they have made their mark in the industry. It is lovely to see that traditional modest garments can be styled and be portrayed as chic, whether this includes a headscarf or not. It is revolutionary to see that modesty is not limited to veiling, but is actually an evolving fashion trend on its own. This is not only a breaking point for controversial views on Islam, but also goes to show how fashion is a major way of outward personal expression.

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From the Rockies to the Runway: Uncovering Canadiana Fashion at Toronto Women’s Fashion Week BY I V E T T E R O D R I G U E Z

n October 4th 2017, Toronto Women’s Fashion Week hosted hundreds of people in a series of events throughout the downtown core. Among the prestigious crowd were VIP guests that included magazine editors, television stars, and social media influencers. These VIPs all

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gathered to witness the epic Canada 150 Fashion Show Tribute. This long-awaited show took place on Yonge Street and featured the longest fashion runway show ever staged in Canada. In celebration of Canada’s 150th anniversary, the fashion show was used as a fundraiser to honour the Military Veterans of Canada who fought for peace and freedom for our country. All donations given to the Canada 150 Fashion Show Tribute were in turn passed along to the Sunnybrook Veterans Centre in the hopes that the money would be used to increase medical services for Canadian military veterans. The show was the busiest and most popular event of the whole week. Photographers struggled to get an

unobstructed shot of the models both backstage and on the runway because of the large crowds. People were sitting and standing in every available space in the room, excited to see the hyped-up spectacle and ready to immortalize the event through their cameras. The show featured designs from over 40 of Canada’s most prominent and iconic designers, including pieces from Stephen Caras, Christopher Bates, Pascal Labelle, Hendrixroe, Dalla, Kollar, and Roots. Each designer added their own individual take on classic Canadian fashion, creating pieces of clothing that conveyed trends and themes of Canadian history. Designs combined the unique style of each designer’s brand with the festive themes of the show.

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The show started out with designs inspired and designed by First Nations people: dreamy fur coats, patterned garments, and leather were all on display. The show then moved to more modern designs, such as a beautiful collection by designer Joseph Tassoni. The highlight of Tassoni’s collection was a red silk dress that was complimented by a shimmery red tulle cape and tights. The look was completed with a gold maple leaf crown. Some brands, such as Roots and Curtis Oland, maintained a more conservative style in their designs. Each brand featured earthy tones in their clothing, reflecting Canada’s great outdoors and vast wilderness. The minimalistic designs featured brown and green leather jackets, pants, and accessories.

Coats, capes, and jackets were prominent throughout the entire Canada 150 Fashion Show Tribute, and were reminiscent of the extreme Canadian climate. They were often paired with fur hats, over-the-knee boots, and leather gloves. Some of the bolder looks were Hendrixroe’s maple leaf-patterned dress and Christopher Bates’s Royal Canadian Mounted Police-inspired jackets and hats. There were also many distinctive takes on classic Canadian looks such as the “Canadian tuxedo,” (all denim everything) to which Peggy Sue added denim patches, scarves, and hats to give her own take on the iconic Canadian look. Similarly, Izzy Camilleri represented Canadian culture with a Canadian

flag-inspired leather dress. From what I saw at the Canada 150 Fashion Show Tribute, I suspect the biggest hits for next season’s trends will be over-the-knee red suede boots, purple-dyed fur coats, metallic-red leather jackets, tweed pantsuits, and fur purses. The show ended with Toronto’s Women’s Fashion Week founder, Jeff Rustia, announcing to the audience that due to the show’s success in its debut year, TWFW will be back for another season in March 2018.

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SY D N E Y P H O TO G R A P H Y BY W I L L C R O SS - B E R M I N G H A M

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Rap is a Gimmick, Hip-Hop is a Culture BY R E U B E N D ’ S O UZ A

hen hip-hop began in the late 70’s and early 80’s, it was music for the black community, by the black community. The Sugarhill Gang’s lyrically complex “Rapper’s Delight” ushered in a musical genre that could convey much more in a single bar than any essay could. Hip-hop spoke to the communities in which it began, such as Harlem, Philadelphia, and the Bronx, touching on topics such as black empowerment, the drug epidemic, poverty, and the ways in which to use culture as an escape from these everyday problems. Kids crammed by the hundreds into small basements to hear the latest mixes from the neighbourhood MC’s. But hip-hop, like any genre, has undergone rapid evolutions throughout its relatively short existence. What started as a political tool for communities of colour quickly devolved into a vehicle for misogyny and the promotion of a disconnected lifestyle with the braggadocios rap of the 90’s and 2000’s. However, within the last few years, hip-hop experienced a reawakening and once again cemented itself as the premier music for social consciousness.

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As the Black Power movement began to take hold in America in the 1960’s, music began to take a frontal role in delivering messages to a wider audience. Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five’s “The Message,” released in 1982, was the first commercially successful song to cement rap as the music of the black community. The song’s lyrics describe the struggles of inner-city poverty culminating with the hook “It’s like a jungle sometimes / It makes me wonder how I keep from going under.” The floodgates opened for artists like Public Enemy, NWA, and Boogie Down Productions to write lyrics with real meaning about police violence, racial injustice, and black nationalism. Artists like 2Pac, Biggie, and Nas followed in the 90’s by blending this lyrical content with their personal experiences of a violent past, putting up huge sales due to strong production and marketing the extravagant rapper lifestyle. In the early 2000’s, however, music with a message became lost on rap. Artists such as 50 Cent, Lil Wayne, Ludacris, and Nelly became largely successful, selling themselves solely on lyrical themes including misogyny, violence, and often blatant homophobia.

Groups like Three 6 Mafia became famous because of songs like “It’s Hard Out Here For a Pimp,” Eminem won his first Grammy for The Marshall Mathers LP, where he speaks of murdering his estranged wife on his track “Kim.” So where did the message go? What happened to the acidic social awareness hip-hop was known for? The answer: it simply was not commercially successful to be “woke.” Rappers like Mos Def and Talib Kweli of Blackstar found it impossible to sell while rapping about the black struggle when all the public wanted was slick beats, heavy production, and lyrics they could rap along to. In the late 2000’s, however, rap took a thematic turn and brought us to the modernday rap scene. When Kendrick Lamar burst onto the scene with his concept album Section.80 in 2011, it had been a while since hip-hop had seen such lyrical complexity paired with such thoughtful beats. Kendrick was rap’s new superstar, and as seen to this day, clearly has the staying power of the rap superstars of the past. His rap contemporaries such as Logic, Chance, J. Cole, and Lupe Fiasco have found massive commercial success by bringing back the pairings of smooth, mellow beats with substantial lyrical content. Kendrick said it best on the “Mask Off-Remix”—“How y’all let a conscious n**** go commercial while only making conscious albums?”

But what brought about this evolution in attitudes about rap? Why is Kendrick able to sell 2 million records about love and being humble? The answer lies in current attitudes towards awareness of social issues amongst youth, arguably rap’s target demographic. We are realizing it isn’t cool to be ignorant anymore. Racism, homophobia, sexism, and violence don’t work in our communities, and the music we listen to should reflect that. Rappers realized that to get airplay, they’d have to be real. Thus, hip-hop is straying from sexism, income flaunting, and “stunting,” and is headed more towards artists speaking directly about the issues they face. When the art of the day represents the authentic feelings of the population, maybe social change can start from the bottom generation. I love rap music, and I strive to have my music represent my views. If music is important to you, reconsider how the music you make and listen to defines our culture and society, as well as your personal views.

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Discovering Your Dad’s Music The Pull of Past Generations BY S A M A N T H A ST E L L ATO

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I grew up in the passenger seat of my Dad’s once-white MR2, bemoaning and bickering over the state of the radio. He would always win such battles, Springsteen’s voice perpetually blaring through the speakers. I could never remember the names or tunes of one song or another; I could only remember that the songs were about events I had not, and would not ever experience— people who were long dead, and towns that I couldn’t locate on a map if I tried.

t’s not that we outgrow the themes in modern music—it is hardly possible to outgrow love, heartache, failure, and regret. The continued popularity of Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young, among others, is evidence that the voices that exposed injustice in the twentieth century remain identifiable to youth today. It’s difficult to envy Springsteen’s characters for their cars and beers while they face conscription, legal domestic violence, and other political obstacles that are now either obsolete or significantly less prevalent. In “Born in the USA,” Springsteen’s character’s life is governed by social order: “The first kick I took was when I hit the ground / […] they put a rifle in my hand.”

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is at the front-lines of this war against his own consciousness, fighting it for others’ sake and at exorbitant cost to himself: “I’m gonna get right for you honey / I’ll take all of my medicine, spend you all my money.” Rather than diminishing the lives and losses of the previous generation, this representation contextualizes it for modern listeners. As Springsteen sings about systemic oppression, he calls listeners from every generation to recognize what has changed—and what hasn’t—in the modern day. Young adults today can enjoy Springsteen not in spite of, but because they are so removed from the horrible reality that elicited his songs. Your Dad’s music may be too loud and too obscure, but the sentiments behind the words are transitive. You may never

have wanted a pink Cadillac, but that 2016 Camaro made your heart skip a beat; you may never have had a rifle shoved onto you, but empathizing with impossible situations ties you not only to the Father that showed you his favourite song, but the generation that worked to ensure you won’t ever have to experience them.

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Keepin’ it Real BY L U C AS M CCOM B

ith the rise of the modern blockbuster, Hollywood more often than ever releases films with heavy plot exposition, suspect sets, and theatrical acting. While these aspects make for great popcorn entertainment, directors may be sacrificing contemplation for action, and a life lived for a mechanized plot. Because of this sacrifice, cinematic realism, once a staple in classical Hollywood, is now often taken for granted. Cinematic realism encompasses the believability of characters and events in a film, ideally depicting life as it is, without stylizations or false distortions. Filmmakers of all sorts have utilized this technique to better deliver messages to their audiences and entertain their viewers. A well-executed realist picture will result in clear originality in order to compensate for a lack of unrealistic scenarios or over dramatized scenes. Motion pictures that strive for a realistic interpretation of events take power away from the studio, in turn empowering the director whose ingenuity generates the story, rather than relying on elements that are hyperbolized for the sake of narrative 34 E N T E R TA I N M E N T

excitement. Once a viewer’s attention is grounded in reality, themes can be more easily digested, and ideas about life, more easily internalized. Realist films can shape perceptions about the world, as they have the ability to present with documentary-like precision situations that are otherwise marginalized by mainstream society. Barry Jenkins’s Moonlight, for example, aims to depict a social problem, rather than its escape. Moonlight relentlessly works to expose what it feels like to be a closeted adolescent in an intolerant social environment. The protagonist is an awkward, unlikeable, and self-conflicted individual, with seemingly no redeeming qualities. As this persona is made more understandable through his circumstance, the film instills a sense of compassion by accurately depicting the troubles LGBTQI+ youth face. In considering entertainment, a film’s rawness promotes the ability to evoke genuine emotions far more intense than those evoked by conventional movies. As the appearance of an intense fight scene or an erotic love scene becomes increasingly organic,

the audience becomes more emotionally invested. For instance, the gritty crime drama Good Time, written and directed by the Safdie Brothers, is a spontaneous tale of a man desperately trying to break his brother out of prison. With proper inner-city colloquialisms, subtle yet powerful drama, and outfits that were purchased from strangers, the composition creates characters and emotions so convincing that the protagonist, played by Robert Pattinson, could have been mistaken for an addict off of the street. A realist film such as this leaves viewers cringing, yet captivated. My intention is not to bash Hollywood, but rather to introduce people to a new way of appreciating the benefit of cinematic realism. I go see a big budget feature to temporarily suspend my disbelief and be entertained, but rarely do I walk away from these movies contemplating them. Entertainment values vary, but I see realist films as entertaining and fulfilling in their own right, and a worthwhile experience for everyone.

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I Love Mindy, I Swear BY S A M A N T H A F I N K

n order to become successful on the big screen, it is often said that a woman must be either extremely overweight, or extremely underweight. This statement holds some truth, as it has been documented that the average woman portrayed in the media is 15% below the average weight of her age and height, making her weight diagnosable criteria for an eating disorder. The ideal waist size portrayed in the media is on a constant decline, making television a very dangerous outlet for people everywhere, but specifically teenage girls: the demographic most susceptible to media, and non-coincidentally, eating disorders. In 2012, out of a network that usually features slim, white protagonists, popped Mindy Lahiri: a food-indulgent, man-eating, Indian-American doctor. Played by the fabulous Mindy Kaling, she wooed America. Not only was she funny, but she was different. She wasn’t afraid to talk about how much she loved food and hated dieting. She was relatable. She was adorable.

She was realistic. She was a bit overweight, but she was still glamorous. It was too good to be true. Don’t get me wrong: I love Mindy Kaling. I’m not some crazy vengeful psycho who hates comedy and Chris Messina. Trust me … that is not me. Mindy is relatable. She is adorable. She is not realistic, but TV shouldn’t be. My only problem with Mindy is that she’s not actually that overweight; she makes it seem like she’s the largest woman in America, when she’s actually probably in the smaller half. “So what?” you might ask. “She’s dramatic. Hello… it’s part of her character!” I totally agree—the show wouldn’t be the same without Mindy rambling on and over-exaggerating nonsense. But when it comes to such an important topic, things should be different. Making it seem like she is ridiculously obese when she is actually quite average in America ironically reinforces the media’s harmful consequences on how teenage girls are likely to see themselves.

It’s wonderful that TV brought someone new to the mix. However, Mindy Kaling’s difference from other female television stars is not that she is Indian and overweight—it’s that she is Indian and of pretty average weight, compared to a slew of others who are extremely under-average weight. Many people think Mindy is inspiring to our generation because she represents the possibility of success in television as an overweight woman. But my excessive watching of Mindy has led me to realize that the more she talks about her weight and how much she eats, the more ridiculous she makes any weight above her own seem. As we can all see, Mindy is quite average in size and displayed as obviously beautiful; her nonsensical self-deprecation is comedic, but it is only likely to reinforce the media’s grip on our collective body image.

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Much Tattoo About Nothing A Case for Body Art, For Body Art’s Sake BY M I C H E L L E K . A L L A N

ou walk into a friend’s home, wipe your feet, and take a seat at the kitchen table. They have some framed prints and a large watercolour hung up on the wall. You tell them that their paintings are beautiful. They thank you and agree. You ask, “What do they mean?” While this would be an odd question to pose against any other sort of art, we often associate tattoos with some sort of profound significance or meaning. It’s not uncommon for even strangers to ask about the story behind one’s tattoos, and people are often surprised if there isn’t one. Although it’s impossible to ignore the intimate nature of tattoo art, we still treat it with vastly different attitudes than we treat other forms of art—even though tattoos are far from taboo these days. As a thousand-year-old art form long associated with rebellion and subversion, tattooing has enjoyed a surge of popularity in recent years. It has become prevalent even among middle and upper class individuals. Art is often perceived as belonging to the educated and social elite. Expressions of historically conquered groups can have a hard time gaining acknowledgement. For example, tattooing has been culturally significant to Canadian Indigenous communities, and later, the nation’s working class. Any form of art with a plebeian, proletariat connotation is often dismissed or devalued by the artistic elite. Though it is wonderful to own a work of art that carries a significant meaning, we expect meaning from tattoo art far more than we do from conventional art forms. This is the result of a perceived lack of legitimacy for tattooing as an art form. If the purpose of art is to provoke joy, challenge views, make a statement, or just to exist and be beautiful, we should let tattoo art exist in the full parameters that other art forms possess. We should challenge ourselves not to exclude tattoos from aestheticism. Body art can and should be appreciated, for body art’s sake.

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Confidence in Concrete The Power of Street Art

BY L A U C H L A N D S C H U L E R - L E E

’ve always found a lack of vulnerability to be intriguing. If we were to observe the inner workings of the social scene at Queen’s, we’d notice a powerful feeling of competitiveness that may limit our opportunities to be our truest and most genuine selves. How can confidence—or a lack thereof—so significantly act as a factor of someone’s personal growth? This concept seems to work the other way around when it comes to street art, which is why I find it particularly fascinating. By establishing itself as a foreign element of its greater environment, whether it be a brick wall or the side of a train car, it exists only in its ability to be scrutinized without defence. Its original message is left with the artist who, upon completion, is forced to find peace with the finished work in front of them. The artist can only thrive by accepting to be in a constant state of vulnerability with what they’ve gifted to their painted

surface. After completion, the choice for the work to be appreciated is up to its passersby. Will that pedestrian give that mural a second glance? Will the tenant of that old red-brick building decide to reflect on what’s been painted on the side of their home? Wondering if people understand or appreciate what is plastering a factory’s sidewall proves to be all-consuming. In possessing this sense of inner peace, knowing that the final product is sufficient, the artist leaves with a sense of calm and closure, moving onto their next venture. In other forms of visual art, there often exists a sense of formality and even pretentiousness. For example, there’s a preparation and briefing that usually comes with formal exhibits. These institution-based frameworks can easily diminish the vulnerability of the artwork, and in turn, its creator. The formal nature of touring a gallery provides its audience with an agenda,

whereas street art strips itself of this rigid—and at times—intimidating culture. Although not a goal of many art museums, their structured environments can discourage open discussion about artwork. Street art, however, is liberated of this conventionality. The organization of people touring a city to see what local artists have scattered on the sides of factory walls is fundamentally different from circling a museum’s exhibits in ascending order. The constant presence of uncertainty that street artists leave with their work presents a confidence and sense of esteem that keeps the art alive, allowing the audience to become engaged in a mutually vulnerable way. All members absorbed in the art are able to shed the need for defence and explanation. In welcoming this sort of open judgement, street art grows in its relevance among the art world, and the artists expand their abilities as individuals who share themselves. A R T S 41

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Gallery and the ‘Gram: Art Museums and Social Etiquette

BY A U ST I N H E N D E R S O N 4 2 A R T S

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hile images seem to overpower our everyday life, it can be difficult to distinguish between the real and the fake, or between art and advertisement. In turn, we can easily forget the difference between taking a photograph of our friends, versus taking a photo of something that belongs to someone else, and more specifically, something that someone else made. Art museums are a bit confusing when it comes to breaking this distinction. They all have different rules when it comes to personal photography, and at some, you are strictly prohibited to take photographs of any kind. The latter can be a tough pill to swallow if you’re an art lover like myself, or if you were just really hoping to get that artsy snapshot of your gallery visit. Previously, you may have asked yourself: “Am I allowed to take a picture of this?” If you consider yourself to be savvy on social media, you’ve probably considered the gallery’s lighting, and how you are going to place yourself, if at all, in the photo. All of these trains of thought are acceptable, but there are a few things you should take note of during your next artistic excursion. First off, remember where you are and what your experience should be. Curators orient their careers around the viewer’s experience with a work of art. If a sign asks you to stand at a certain distance from a painting, do so. Try to go as close as you possibly can to admire the artist’s brushstrokes. Looking at a painting up-close is far better than even the highest-quality photograph. Similarly, if you’re invited to physically interact with an installation—take for example Teresa Carlesimo and Michael DiRisio’s a form of formlessness (2017), or Yayoi Kusama’s Obliteration Room (2002)—interact! Unfortunately, art museums carry a stuffy and formal stigma for some, so you may feel hesitant to get the most out of your experience. From now on, let go of those pressures. Document your interactions if you’re encouraged to do so. You’ll feel a connection, and you’ll make both the curators and artists happy—I’m sure of it. Also, you can further enrich your visit by asking questions to the staff and volunteers. Most galleries, especially larger ones, will have guards or attendants who are knowledgeable of the art that they are helping to protect. Don’t be afraid to reach out to these people, or to the employees working at the reception desk. That’s what they’re there for. If you’re

at the gallery with some friends, have a discussion about what you’re looking at. It’s okay to question an artwork, to not like it, or to like it a little too much. When you talk about art with others, you immediately open doors into new thoughts, and you may even learn something new about yourself. Next, comes the important matter of crediting the artist. If you choose to take a photo of an artwork, be aware of the labour that the artist or curator put into it. With that said, it’s essential to credit the artist’s name or the gallery’s location if you choose to post something on social media. Not only does this allow your friends to check out the cool museums you’ve visited (that’s why tagged locations exist in the first place!), but it also allows the artist some well-deserved exposure and credit to their creation. By simply adding the artist’s name and title of the work into your caption, as well as tagging the gallery’s location, you become a well-rounded, cultured individual to your followers, and it lets the artist or museum feel even more appreciated. It’s win-win for everybody. Although art galleries can be fun and exciting, they’re also institutions that hold priceless artefacts. For many visitors, they stand as places of meditation, reconciliation, and reflection. Think twice before you snap that selfie in front of a Van Gogh, or pose next to your girl, Frida. Consider these artworks and their stories. Consider their creators, their intent, and admire their place in the history of art. Understand that for someone else at the museum, seeing that Van Gogh painting may bring up some melancholic emotions. Even Mark Rothko’s famous colour-field paintings, for example, have been used in religious buildings for their spiritual impact. With every art museum you visit in the future, whether it’s historical or contemporary, indoor or outdoor, it’s important to respect the art. Stand up-close, or admire from far away. Take a photograph, or don’t. Interact if the museum has asked you to. Ask questions and incite discussion. You’re standing amongst fragments of the world’s history, of stories, and of experiences. With that said, I humbly encourage you, from now on, to make the most out of yours.

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Film: Developing Authenticity BY CA M R Y N M C K AY P H O TO G R A P H Y BY W I L L C R O SS - B E R M I N G H A M

ilm is raw. It’s an authentic reflection of whatever you point the camera at. There is no room for immediate altering, editing, or checking to see if you need to take another photo. This is one of the things I love most about film. In a society that thrives off of instant gratification and perceived perfection, film photography defies it all. Group photos become about the memories, rather than sprinting to the camera to see how you look. A candid photo of a hilarious moment becomes an image of joy rather than stressing on how to make your teeth appear whiter. Film is beautiful because it cuts through the artificiality in which we so easily get lost. It shows things as they are, rather than how we are told they are supposed to be. Film offers a healthy dose of authenticity to a cheat media diet reaming with superficiality. In a nearly entirely digital age, we have become accustomed to immediate 44

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results. One of the reasons I value film so much is because it lacks immediacy. Instant gratification is something we are all guilty of indulging in. This can be hindering because when results are immediate, fi xation is often on the superficial, rather than the sentimental. This is especially relevant to our everyday lives, as we have become so desensitized to smartphone photos and Instagram uploads, that the value of these images disappears altogether. After a while, everything just begins to cause the same reaction. Doubletap and scroll rather than smile and remember. This is where film photography is refreshing—through film, nothing is instant. You’re forced to wait for the frame to focus, the roll to finish, and even develop, before you can see results. This builds anticipation. Being forced to wait when shooting fi lm creates the same magic that we felt on birthdays and holidays as kids. We waited tirelessly for these special

moments. Even at a young age, we were aware of their value, and we couldn’t wait for the joy they brought to us. Film photography goes far beyond its developed images. It’s the excitement as you wait for the lab to finish processing your film. It’s the look on your friends’ faces when you’re able to show them a beautifully candid moment they may have forgotten. It’s the pride you feel when an image is perfectly exposed. Film is real. I encourage you to go to the nearest thrift store, find a camera—even it’s a disposable one—and experiment with film. This overlooked art has unearthed creative abilities that I didn’t know I had, introduced me to people I otherwise wouldn’t have met, and documented some of the best moments of my life. Film photography is the unadulterated balance of visual and sentimental, and that is not only why I shoot film, but why you should, too.

BY M I C H E L L E B U T T E R C H E W

This is Not a Metaphor

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I imagine your eyes watering from the buffeting wind, driving away across hillside in a Chevrolet with the top down, but you probably took the metro. You were never the type to be captured by poetry. I wrote this for myself, not for you, not for the world. Isn’t that what all poets do? We listen long enough to be listened to. We weave pretentious words that only we can understand, telling our own story, instead of the stories of the voiceless. We paint our narcissism as art. There are a lot of parts I hate about you. The way I call your name and it goes to voicemail. You couldn’t see me except in the background of shattered mirrors. You couldn’t see me unless you were looking at a broken reflection of yourself. You are not afraid of zombies, or silence, or heartbreak. You leaving made pointless memories come into sharp focus, like the way you dotted your i’s, or your short fingernails. Our old memories matter more, because we can no longer make new ones together. You thought you were doing me a favour, by telling me that we are not all great. We humans are not all special. I wish I had never learned that. We will lose our minds over mediocrity. You seem happier these days. You seem happier without me. But it’s all okay, forgotten, by tomorrow morning’s sun slanting in through the window, we are too simple to be capable of existentialism. We are human, God, you hated being human. Humanity has gone out of style, and you’ve always been a trendsetter. The only thing that separates us from the wild beasts who are so much more rational than us is our fear of mortality. Sand and water together make glass—or just wet sand—why did you leave? Emotions are just a cluster of neurons. Poetry is just a soft voice speaking a dead language. Sometimes tears look like laughter, violence looks like sex. Do not mistake my anger as love, these feelings wish to be each other. You treated me like a metaphor, I am not a figure of speech, I am real. I am made of flesh and bones and lost opportunities, I am heartbreakingly finite. Though, perhaps I, too, am idolizing you now. You were never the type to be captured by poetry.

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It’s really too easy not to like your 14 year-old self. I mean … the bangs, the braces, the sparkly t-shirts, and the cargo shorts (or all of the above), 14 is tough, and there’s no one more aware of that than a 14 year-old.

Fourteen BY T R I S H R O O N E Y

P H O TO G R A P H Y BY L U C Y W E LS H

his summer, I had the pleasure (no, seriously) of being the camp counsellor for two groups of girls, all around the age of 14. Throughout the summer, I watched as my kids learned leadership and teamwork, but I also noticed that as much as I taught them, they retaught me about what it is to be 14. My kids reminded me about what it’s like to be figuring it all out. Today when we say we’re “figuring it out,” we mean balancing school and social life, budgeting, cooking, and so on. This, of course, is no easy task, but for these girls, figuring it out meant back to the basics. What do they like? Who do they like? What’s their inspiration? For them, figuring it out meant constant realizations, and constant changes in who they are or what they wanted. As older people, we try to resist change. We like to remain on the path we’ve created for ourselves and stick with what we already know. Witnessing them question themselves, I started to

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ask myself some big questions. What inspires me? What do I truly love? Who do I look up to? My kids retaught me the glory of authenticity. They were unapologetic about themselves. They celebrated their passions for movies, or music, or books, or celebrities. What they loved was a part of them, and they wanted to share just that. I had forgotten what it was like to become obsessed with something, and how good it felt to love something completely. Occasionally, my kids reminded me of the fear that comes with being 14. My kids were people with real problems— body-image issues, slut-shaming, and peer pressure. I couldn’t help but reflect on my early high school days, when the fear of being different was all-consuming, and authenticity could be used as a weapon against you. I offered advice and encouragement, but I could tell that these girls, and teenagers in general, were much smarter than anyone gave them credit for. They

deserved to be listened to and considered. Their experiences gave them a view of the world that was unique and, most of the time, incredibly optimistic and hopeful. These were kids that were moving forward, putting the best of themselves into the world. They deserved love simply for being their authentic and beautiful selves.. 14 is an age of change, but it is not the only age of change. We are all constantly transforming and sometimes this can be intimidating. Embracing the fear of the unknown, staying true to your passions, and asking yourself the big questions about who you are will keep you on the path towards the best version of yourself. Perhaps we’d all benefit from being 14 again … but maybe with better clothes.

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This is Home BY E M I LY M C D O N A L D

our walls enclose the space in which I took my first steps, spoke my first words, and learned to count to ten. It’s the green house at the end of the block on Graham Gardens Street in Toronto. This is the place I call home. Fast-forward five years to a new set of walls, holding new memories, in an unknown city, in a different province. I’ve been told that this is the place I am now meant to call home. Soon I know the memories of my old home will only be found deep within my subconscious. With the winter’s cold wrapping me in its embrace and neighbours that became family, it felt natural to transition my view of home from Toronto to Winnipeg. So, I started to lay my roots and quickly grew to find comfort and safety in this new home. Another 13 years later, I find myself in another new city, only hours away from the place I initially called home. This time, however, I left to go to university, meaning my family has not made the move with me. My brother stayed in Winnipeg for school, still living in our big blue house. My Dad, however, accepted a new job in Vancouver, leaving Winnipeg in his rear-view mirror, and causing my Mom to bounce between both cities. My family, my home and I are now scattered across the country, and my idea of what home should be is shattered.

P H O TO G R A P H Y BY K E R E N Z A Y U E N

Still, if I had to call a physical place home, it would have to be the house in Winnipeg. My small bedroom on the second floor will forever hold the memories of my growth. Yet, when my parents aren’t there and I’m miles away from the place I have been building my life, does home really lie within the walls of an almost empty house? At times, the loneliness of being apart from these familiar places and people seems unbearable. And yet, when we do return to the place we called home for so long, the suitcases we live out of can make us feel like a visitor in a once comfortable place. Maybe then, home isn’t confined to four walls and a set number of square feet. Maybe home isn’t a place at all. I have found home in countries where I knew no one, with people I was forced to know (but soon chose to love), at a school with thousands of people covered in tricolour, and within myself when there was no one else around. So, while I may refer to that address on my letters as home, I am coming to find that the meaning of this word lies in something much deeper.

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Ache-y Break-y BY A MY TA N A K A

am captivated by the endless stories masked behind the midnight flickers of brightly scattered apartment windows. Behind those curtains and blinds is a person with their own memories and history, a narrative waiting to be told. Where do their daydreams take them? What weighs on their mind? Why are they up at 12:00 a.m.? This fascination of mine has sparked a personal project. My goal is to converse a little more intimately with people—to ask them questions and lend an ear. I’m attempting to ask 99 people a compilation of self-selected 99 questions. Diving into the depths of our hearts to those feelings we left in a bucket of shambles in the back of our minds, I gained some wisdom by asking the simple question: “What was the lesson you learned from the last time you encountered heartbreak?”

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“End it once.” “No one’s pedestal should ever be higher than your own.” “If you know something is wrong, do not procrastinate on taking steps to make it better.” “Things that are meant to be, will be.” “Direct your feelings about a situation towards the one that made you feel that way, not the ones that haven’t.” “You can do everything and anything you possibly can to make something happen and still not get it. Accept the things that you don’t.” “Everyone’s remedy is different. Take your time to feel, deal, and heal.” “Relationships are dynamic, ever-changing, and sometimes they don’t grow in the same direction.” “Protect your heart.” “Change is scary. Change is good. Soon different won’t be so different, it will be better.” “Every pain can be positive with time or perspective.”

We have all been there. It’s a pain that rips through your chest, seeps down your throat, and tugs on your most sensitive tendons—your heartstrings. It’s an inside out kind of pain. It pulls on your vocal chords and pries at your lungs. Every time you try to look left, you’re looking right at the thoughts you were trying to drown out … those stupid inescapable thoughts. Every thing you see, smell, taste, and hear turns into a case of bitter nostalgia that was never there before. Before it happened. I’m not just talking young love and romance, though. Heartbreak comes in all different forms, timelines, and potencies. Sometimes the worst kinds are the ones that run deeper than sweet kisses and long walks on the beach; you didn’t get that job you wanted, you got rejected from exchange, someone you depended on let you down, or someone

you never thought you’d live without, you do. Don’t get me wrong, a break-up hurts like hell, but there other means through which we’re filled to the brim with anguish. The intrigue of asking people this kind of question is being able to see them mull it over in their head. Each person turns back the pages of their minds, deliberates some memories, and tries to find a reply to a question with no wrong answer. Revisiting the scenes of memory you’d prefer to tape over is never easy—it’s tainted and disappointing. So, as I watch their brains tick back, I can empathize by knowing that we haven’t all been faced with the same hardships, but we’ve all been handed some pretty gut-wrenching feelings. Every answer is unique and unprecedented to the rest, deserving validation and acceptance. And with that knowledge, I can really understand the power

and transcendence of human emotion. Maybe you’re going through it, maybe your friend is going through it, or maybe you already went through it and you’re reading this with triumph. Shane Koyczan said, “pain is part of the human condition and that alone makes you a legion.” It hurts and it sucks, but every day will bring you closer to reason. You will gain experience, wisdom, and thicker skin that will only make you stronger for the years to come. As cheesy as it sounds, time heals even the toughest of things, so pull up your panties, buy yourself a bagel, and give yourself a big hug. Don’t be afraid to feel, and don’t throw in the towel. Live well, and be caught doing that daily.

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BY T R I S H R O O N E Y

Servitude

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love, my mother told me, is finite. you cannot replenish the love you have in your body. you’re born with the amount you have, and it depletes throughout your life. you choose what and who and how to love, and each time a piece of you is given. you die, hopefully, with all of it gone. that’s how you know you lived a good life: if all the love you had to give is out of your body, and given to the people around you, you have done your service. love, my father told me, is a loop. give and you shall receive. if you give someone the love you have, with all your heart, they will give you their love back tenfold. love is as natural as exhaling. something bigger than ourselves knows what we love, and when we are ready for it. you die, hopefully, filled with other people’s love, and with your own love in others. When you have been filled and in turn filled, you have done your service. love, you told me, is us. it is in the long, all-knowing eye contact. it is between the tight clasp of our hands. it creates the bubble of the two of us, blind and dumb to the rest of the world. we equally decided and chose each other. and so, we fell: half-choosing and half-trusting that it would all work out. We exchange pieces of ourselves, forgetting which of us is which, both enraptured in the single being we have become. when we have fought back the doubt and sadness of the world together, we will have done our service. love, I tell myself, will always come back. no matter how dark the night or lonely the moment, or sharp the pain; love will find me once again. When I have given and received, had and lost. it will have done its service.

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Normalizing A Normal Thing BY A D R I A N CA L DA R O L A

niversity is not easy. Fun, yes. Easy, not so much. There’s something about transitioning into a fully functioning adult without parental supervision, while also trying to navigate a heavily toxic drinking environment that proves to be more difficult than expected. These same difficulties are amplified when you struggle to fit into the socially constructed box of what it means to be a man. I lived in a house of six guys during my upper years at Queen’s, and the amount of times we opened up to one another about mental health, body image, and sexuality could be counted on one hand. I had the opportunity to interview two very successful men to pick their brain about their personal struggles with masculinity. These men are by no means perfect, but they’re honest. While their experiences will never reflect

the experiences of every male-identifying person, they have faced their demons with bravery and flourished in personal endeavours, all while being the man they want to be. Darrean Baga is a fifth-year Global Development student who has been heavily involved in the Queen’s community since his first year. He served as ASUS President in the 20162017 school year and is now returning to his creative roots as the Head Manager at Studio Q. Darrean is from Scarborough and identifies as gay, and neither trait should prove him unfit for the mould of “man.” Unfortunately for the latter, it does. Baga explains that, for him, opening up was never easy. “Part of me felt liberated, but at the same time still worried about being judged. I guess that never really goes away, because a part of you holds on to the shame you were taught to feel. But it will never go away if you don’t come to terms with those emotions.” Feeling shame is a common theme amongst most men who struggle with coming out. However, as Darrean mentioned, those feelings don’t go away until you confront them, which isn’t necessarily when you come out. While he definitely struggled with it, Darrean has come to terms with what masculinity means to him. “Being sure of yourself and really knowing yourself inside out—no one really does—but to a degree where you can be confident and express yourself for who you are instead of being constrained by these socially constructed boxes. That’s what I think masculinity should be about.” It seems as though being a man has become more defined by finding confidence in the things you enjoy doing, and less about the person you are. M U S E ’ I N G S 59

P H O TO G R A P H Y BY L U C Y W E LS H 6 0 M U S E ’ I N G S

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Mike Young is a Queen’s Alumnus who served as the rector from 2014-2016. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting Mike, you’d know of his infectious aura. Surely, someone who carries himself so optimistically has always had this confidence, right? Wrong. For Mike, the way he viewed himself wasn’t always positive. In grade six, he faced some serious body image struggles. Constant weight gain limited his ability to participate in the sports he had previously thrived in. His body became something he wasn’t fond of, and going through his teens only amplified his problems. “As a kid going through puberty and starting to feel attracted to other people for the first confusing time, it was a difficult time to come to terms with how attractive I didn’t feel as a result of what I was going through.” Fast-forward a few years, Mike will crack a few jokes about younger him, but won’t ignore the very real feelings he felt at a younger age. When asked what he wants for men in regard to body image, Mike said, “I want people, and

men in particular, to work with one another to breakdown the body image ideals that we’ve collectively reinforced. I [also] want to put out a call to other male-identified folks to model and encourage vulnerability. Share things about how you feel. Love sports, or don’t love sports. Be someone who makes every human being feel safe and celebrated.” It’s very important to note that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with identifying as someone who fits into the traditionally masculine mould and all that entails. It’s also important to note that there’s nothing wrong with being on the opposite end of that spectrum. We as people—but more importantly as men—need to stand up for those who feel like their stories are in the shadows and not worth sharing. What makes you a man isn’t who you love, the clothes you wear, the food you eat, or the car you drive. Respecting others and yourself, knowing when to stand up and when to listen, and understanding that there’s so much you don’t know—those are some of the things that make you a man.

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Getting Used To Familiar BY AS H TO N STO O P

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Dhaka, Bangladesh—it’s two thirds the size of Kingston, Ontario with a population of over 9.5 million people at its core and over 20 million people total, making it the most densely populated city in the world. Putting that into perspective, for every 1 person in Kingston, there’s 80 people in Dhaka. Look around you now, and think of what it would be like if every one person you could see turned into 80 people. The line at Starbucks just got a whole lot longer, trying to find a seat in your tutorial turned into a seemingly impossible task, and driving through University and Union at 20 past any hour became even more hectic. I spent this past summer working in Dhaka, and it was an experience unparalleled to any other.

oming from Canada and having gone on exchange in New Zealand, heading to Bangladesh could not have been more of a contrast. I went from mountaintops to rooftops, Tasman Sea to flooded streets, blending in to standing out, and from being foreign to still foreign, but this time in an incomparable way. At least in New Zealand I could spit out the odd “bro” or “mate” and fool my way into being local, but in Dhaka my “assalamualaikum” didn’t work as well. It was going to be two months surrounded by people, culture, and language that were completely unfamiliar to me, but I was ready to embrace it. People always talk about the culture shock of moving to a new place and how hard it can be to overcome. What nobody told me was that the culture shock would be ten times worse coming back to Kingston. In Dhaka, I managed the culture shock because I knew it was coming, preparing as best I could. After my months of travel, I returned home to Canada and almost immediately to Kingston. When I returned, it felt as if everything about this place had changed and I no longer fit in. I remember standing in a group with ten of my closest friends and feeling more alone than I felt in Bangladesh. Trying to talk with my friends, I felt socially awkward—I just didn’t know how to have a conversation with these people

anymore. Maybe it was because I talked so little in Dhaka and everyone here talks so much, but I couldn’t keep up. Mid conversation, I would give up and bow my head—surrounded by friends, I felt further away than ever before. Every party I went to, I was bumping into friends and peers that I hadn’t seen in eight months. Almost every interaction identical, based around the same meaningless question, “Hey! How was your summer?” I really couldn’t stand this question. Everyone who asked me this was expecting a one-sentence answer, but how could I possibly sum up eight months of friendships and relationships, crazy experiences, and years worth of personal growth into that one sentence? It was an impossible task that made me feel as though I had lived another life, and I would never be able to talk about it. Whenever I wanted to share anything that I had done in the past eight months, people never failed to remind me that I was away, always throwing out phrases like “Oh world traveller” or, “Wow were you on exchange or something?” This just added to the already hard time I was having trying to reconnect with my friends.

same as when I left—it was I who had changed completely. My views weren’t aligned with my friends’, the things we found important varied drastically, and my sense of humour had shifted. I was left as an outcast. I had spent months longing to come home and reunite with everyone, sleepless nights thinking about loved ones I would see soon, and the feeling of hope for anything familiar. All of these moments were squandered by the harsh reality that I’d never fit in like before, but it’s okay. In fact, my new found global perspective and consequent maturity were amazing accomplishments in their own. I’m proud of the way I see the world, and I have a much better understanding of and empathy for anyone who has moved away from their home. Moving from culture to culture can be difficult, even if either one was once familiar to you. If you have the chance today, reach out to someone who has immigrated to Canada, came home from abroad, or just moved away from home for the first time. It’s important to let your friends know that you’ve got their back, and to make sure they don’t feel like a stranger in their own home.

After that first week, I realized that I was wrong to think that everything had changed when I was gone. The bubble that is Queen’s University was the exact MUSE’INGS 63

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MUSE Magazine at Queen’s

DIRECTORS

Editor-In-Chief Amy Yu

Creative Director Karina Rebellato Business Director Greg Radisic Online Director Anna Julia Stainsby Head of Photography Zoe Zimmerman Head of Editorial Lauren Backa Head of Layout Allie Kustec

EDITORIAL

Lifestyle Editor Varya Genkin Fashion Editor Nick Scott Entertainment Editor Samantha Fink Arts Editor Austin Henderson MUSE’ings Editor Amy Tanaka

C R E AT I V E

Assistants Victoria Chan Olivia Janus Interns Jane Bradshaw Donavan Williams

PHOTOGRAPHY Lucy Welsh Will Cross-Bermingham Masha Nazina John Fleming Kerenza Yuen Mikaela Kruse Morgan Chin-Yee

MARKETING

Head of Marketing Lucie Quinlan Marketing Coordinator Kathleen Harvey Kate Waslen Abby Stewart 64

SPONSORSHIP

Head of Sponsorship Tessa Latowsky Regional Ad Sales Coordinator Alex Blair Lauren Hill Sponsorship Coordinator Leora Owsiany Sabrina Park

FINANCE

Head of Finance Gabi Tremblay

EVENTS

Head of Events Julie Tran Social Coordinator Victoria Spanton Alex Chapleau Events Coordinator Katie Glover Katie Douglas

L AYO U T Bonnie Wang Joe Palubiski Ryan Johnston Ally Kerkhoff Illustration Karina Bland Graphic Designer Victoria Horne

MAKEUP Charlotte McNair April Christiansen Jasmine Modupe

ONLINE

Music Editors Sam Gillon Sydney Williams Contributors Sam Turnbull Cassandra Littlewood Sam King Catherine MacKinnon Alexandra Cook Alex Strachan Maja Tomic Julie Ngu Nate Hobbs Kate Farrell Maggie Whitmore Thalia Tavares Lauren Chambers Serene Nekoui Tiasha Bhuiyan

VIDEOGRAPHERS Chiara Manchia Jing Wong

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Image Credits “Race, The Mindy Project and Why We Need More South Asian TV Characters.” Maison Neuve. N.p. 1 Nov 2018. https://maisonneuve. org/post/2013/04/12/race-mindy-project/. “Good Time (film).” Wikipedia. N.p. 1 Nov 2018. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_ Time_(film) Grey, Ashlan. “How Brockhampton Made One of the Year’s Best Albums in Less Than a Month.” Pigeons and Planes. July 6 2017. Web. 1 Nov 2018. http://pigeonsandplanes.com/indepth/2017/07/brockhampton-saturation-interview-review. Vanderperre, Willy. “Introducing Raf Simons’s New Generation of Calvin Klein Muses.” Vogue. 24 July 2017. Web. 1 Nov 2018. https://www.vogue.com/article/behind-thescenes-calvin-klein-raf-simons-fall-2017campaign.

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MUSE Magazine Issue XV

Articles inside

Getting Used to Familiar

Normalizing a Normal Thing

Ache-y Break-y

This is Home

Fourteen

Film: Developing Authenticity

Gallery and the 'Gram

I Love Mindy, I Swear

Keepin' It Real

Discovering Your Dad's Music

Rap is a Gimmick, Hip-Hop is a Culture

From the Rockies to the Runway

Modesty's Majesty

Joseph + Paris

Real World Fashion on a Real World Budget

The Future of Calvin Klein Under Raf Simmons

The Casual Culture

Coffee and a Chat with NORTHSIDE espresso + kitchen

Overcoming My Invisible Illness

My Life with Boys