Jan/Feb 2020 On The Minds of Moms by on the minds of moms

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JANUARY FEBRUARY 2020

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CONTENTS

IN EVERY ISSUE

EDITOR'S NOTE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . FOOD FOR THOUGHT . SHUTTERBUG .

. . . . . . . 12

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

JANUARY & FEBRUARY EVENTS . . . . . . . . . . 40

Photo: Ten Little Chickens Photography

22 JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

CONTENTS

SECTIONS ON THE MINDS OF MOMS IN-DEPTH The ‘anxious generation’

Why young people are lonelier and more stressed than the rest of us . . . . . . 24

RESOURCES

Connect, find help, get answers, make a difference . . . . . . . . . . . 42

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

READY, SET, GROW

Keeping kids entertained indoors . . . . . . . . . 44

CONTENTS

FEATURE & PROFILES MOD MOM

Katina Behm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

'WORLD'S WORST MOM'

Alicia Strnad Hoalcraft . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

COVER STORY Life unexpected

Navigating life, parenting with advanced stage cancer . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

RAD DAD

Kurtis Karn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

moms

on the minds of

PUBLISHER Forum Communications Company

EDITOR Mary Jo Hotzler

ASSISTANT EDITORS Danielle Teigen Ryan Johnson April Knutson

WRITERS Tracy Briggs Alicia Hoalcraft Ryan Johnson April Knutson Matt Von Pinon Danielle Teigen Emma Vatnsdal

ADVERTISING Mark Von Bank adfeatures@forumcomm.com DESIGN AND LAYOUT Sara Slaby specialsections@forumcomm.com PHOTOGRAPHY Ann Arbor Miller CONTENT INQUIRIES info@onthemindsofmoms.com

SFI-00574

MISSION AND VISION On The Minds Of Moms is dedicated to providing a community of local support and real-life advice for the modern day mom who is on the go and needs to know. We are inspired to help the woman behind “the mom” balance it all by offering support, validation and reassurance she is a good mom wanting only the best for herself and family. On The Minds Of Moms is an online community and magazine for and about local moms. We strive to achieve a balance between useful information and entertaining content. Written to serve as the local reading alternative to family magazines that are produced for a national audience. On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

MARY JO HOTZLER

A new era for On The Minds of Moms

Forum Communications continues the tradition of publishing for area moms

ore than a decade ago, Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe and Dani Parkos Fluge had an ambitious idea. Both were navigating that delicate working mom balance and struggled to find the parenting resources and local mom connections they were seeking. Why not start a magazine, they thought? Between the two of them, they had all of the skills to do what was needed: writing, marketing, advertising and bookkeeping. They could divide and conquer. And so 11 years ago, On the Minds of Moms was born. The two friends created the purse-sized magazine from scratch. Through the years, they built up a loyal tribe of “mom fans” who have made it a habit to pick up a copy while grocery shopping. Sheri and Dani continued to advance their careers, and over time, the magazine became more of a hobby. But still, a lot of love and effort had to go into each edition, six times per year. It has been no small task. This past November, Sheri and Dani turned over the magazine to new ownership: Forum Communications Company. For Sheri and Dani, it was like sending their baby off to college. And for us here at The Forum, we now have the opportunity to connect with new readers and continue the strong publishing tradition. Personally, I’m thrilled to be part of this magazine’s next era. As a mom of two boys,

I’ve always made time to read On the Minds of Moms. I love hearing inspiring stories of families in our community. For now, my job is to help make this publishing transition a success. There are a lot of others behind the scenes doing the same. A special thank you to the magazine’s project manager/content strategist, April Knutson, for keeping us all on track for this first edition. Soon, we will be assembling an “On the Minds of Moms Council” – a readers board of sorts, and in the future, we hope to appoint a dedicated editor and identify a few more editorial contributors. Today more than ever, Forum Communications is focused on connecting and informing our communities. We know there are a lot of moms and dads out there wanting a place to go for information they can trust and for stories about local parents and about the issues that matter most. We plan to give you that in this magazine, and we also plan to build up a strong digital community to further that mission and make it even easier for busy moms to connect. We are excited for this journey and look forward to your feedback and input along the way. Mary Jo Hotzler is Forum Communications Company's Chief Content Officer and is responsible for content and organizational strategy for FCC and for On The Minds of Moms. She lives in Fargo with her husband Heath and twin sons.. JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

Katina Behm (third from left) with her co-workers from West Fargo's Progressive Therapy Associates | Photo courtesy of Studio 9

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

Katina Behm Age 37, West Fargo, N.D.

MOD MOM

Story by | Ryan Johnson

Now, the 37-year-old calls West Fargo home

poorly timed winter snowstorm kept Katina Behm from moving to Fargo in December 2010,

and works at Progressive Therapy Associates, where her work focuses on therapy for teens

but the native of suburbs near Philadelphia, Pa., was

and adults suffering from traumatic brain

welcomed with open arms by Midwesterners when

injuries, concussions, strokes, attention deficit

the roads reopened and she could make it here the

hyperactivity disorder and other disorders that

following month.

impact communication and function.

OO LS

FA R G

BLIC S C H

kiNdERgaRTEN REgiSTRaTiON Registration for Fall 2020 opens online February 1, 2020 at:

www.fargo.k12.nd.us/registration

Registration is a two-step process: STEP ONE: Complete registration at home online anytime or at computer kiosks in the office at each Fargo Public elementary school building on the following dates and times: February 24, 26, and 28 – 7:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. February 25, 27, and March 2 – 7:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. STEP TWO: Families MUST bring their child’s certified birth certificate, child’s current immunization record, and a document (i.e. current city utility bill or bank statement) that includes parent/guardian name and address to verify the correct neighborhood school.

Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2020 to attend school in the fall. If you do not know which school your child will attend, call 701.446.1043 or check online at www.fargo.k12.nd.us/boundarymaps JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

MOD MOM Being a speech language pathologist is fulfilling work, she says, but it’s her entertaining posts on Instagram that have made Katina a popular mom on social media — all with some adorable help from her son, Augie, 3, and her brother Aris, who just happens to be a model. It all started when Katina was struggling to get the then9-month-old Augie dressed, but he couldn’t hold still. She gave up, realizing her son’s open shirt reminded her of one of the photos Aris had posted on Instagram not long before. Inspired, she did a side-by-side collage of the two, sharing it with family members. She started posting similar images to her own social media accounts, and eventually created the public account @babyandthebody on Instagram. Word eventually reached The Forum, which reported on the social media account in October 2017. “The day they ran the story, I was contacted by Yahoo News and then it completely blew up,” she said. Articles popped up on Buzzfeed, Today and Huffington Post, along with hundreds of other outlets, and people from around the world were soon chuckling their way through the toddler and uncle mashups. The account now has more than 68,000 followers. Augie is no longer a baby, and she says the young boy is more involved these days in choosing which photos he’d like to re-create. “I’ll show him a couple options and let him decide,” she said. But Katina, her husband, Justin Behm, and her two other kids, stepson Owen, 14, and Augie’s twin sister Delphi, 3, are keeping busy with other things these days. She says she posted to @thebabyandthebody once a week for 88 weeks straight, but she’s since slowed down, even though she wants to continue for a while to bring others joy.

This post on the @babyandthebody Instagram account remains the favorite so far of Katina Behm, whose son Augie is seen in the photo at the top of the page and her brother, Aris (above) | Photo courtesy of Katina Behm

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

“But he is getting older and it’s losing its luster a bit,” she says. My kids have taught me... that I have very little control over who they are. I can guide them to become kind, decent humans, but their personalities have nothing to do with my parenting. It’s actually quite liberating.

MOD MOM The thing I can’t live without is... wine. My favorite @babyandthebody photo was… (The sunglass picture) is Aris’ and my favorite. The guitar one is a fan favorite, and the scarf one is the first one posted to the @babyandthebody account. Something I’ve learned about parenting from my social media activity is... that despite countless differences in parenting styles, humor is always the common bond. My younger brother’s best reaction to a @babyandthebody post was... watching him crack up when we did the Swayze/ Farley “SNL” dance-off; it was live-action Baby and the Body! The best way to get a good photo of a young kid is... have someone make them laugh while you shoot,

My proudest mom moment was... whenever my kids take care of each other. The one parenting trick I couldn’t live without is... teamwork; one-on-one defense is way better than zone. I hope my kids someday... appreciate all the beauty in the world. If Instagram was around, my parents would’ve posted childhood photos of me doing... lots of sports. The big thing I hope to do someday is... take my kids to the homeland (Greece). My favorite thing when I have free time is... naps. The go-to meal my kids love is... shockingly quinoa, but also grilled cheese. It’s all about balance.

and if that fails, bribe them! For Augie, candy always does the trick ;) My mom taught me... how to stand up for myself.

A fan-favorite post on @babyandthebody. | Photo courtesy of Katina Behm

The best part of my job is... being able to see the impact I’m making in patient’s lives when they start applying strategies and function better.

This was Katina Behm's first post to the popular @babyandthebody Instagram account. | Photo courtesy of Katina Behm JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Healthy eating for every lifestyle Whether you’re looking to shed a few pounds or already rocking that #healthylifestyle, there’s no time like the present to jumpstart a year of healthy eating!

Story by | Emma Vatnsdal

t’s a tale as old as time — a few Christmas goodies turn into a few more, and all of a sudden, the plate of sweets is empty and nobody knows where it all went. Or maybe you’ve been crushing your meal-planning game and want to bring it to the next level. Whether you’re looking to shed a few pounds or just want to boost an already-healthy lifestyle for the whole family in the new year, there are a lot of options out there for 2020.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

For busy families Taking time to plan out each week’s meals is a vital part of maintaining a healthy diet. Setting aside one (or two) days each week to make a game plan for what to look forward to each week can help cure those crazy-day-salt-binges that inevitably happen when time runs short.

you have a plan, head to the grocery store to pick everything up. Sticking to the outside of the store will ensure you focus on the fresh stuff, like fruits, vegetables, meats and dairy products. Center aisles tend to be where processed and less-than-healthy foods are shelved.

As Lindsay Vettleson, a registered dietitian nutritionist at IMA Healthcare, told The Forum in 2017, people who don’t plan their meals in advance are more likely to eat something that’s readily available — meaning what they choose to eat is more likely to be processed, convenient and probably high in carbohydrates and calories, and it’s just not going to work.

Once you have all the ingredients, the fun part begins.

“I usually batch cook on weekends,” Vettleson says. “I already know what I’m having multiple days ahead of time — a week in advance — but that’s how I’m successful with it.” There are a few steps that can be followed when creating that “perfect” meal plan. First, actually plan the meals by finding two to four recipes for the week and making a list of ingredients for each meal. Once 14

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

Washing, cutting and cooking fruits and veggies and cooking protein is essential to making meal prepping a success. There are many healthy ways to prepare proteins, whether you grill chicken, pan-fry fish or roast chickpeas, and there are dozens of ways to add a bit of interest to every meal. After everything has been cooked and it’s ready to go, portion meals into their own containers to grab and go the next morning. Planning and preparing meals doesn’t have to cause a headache. Even something as simple as creating a plan and getting every ingredient in advance can help stave off that last-minute rush to the drive-thru. Looking for a quick and easy meal prep recipe? Try this out.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Peppers and Sausage is a quick, easy, protein-rich dish that can be made ahead of time, giving busy moms the chance to grab-and-go with a healthy meal. | iStock / Special to The Forum

Peppers and Sausage Ingredients: 3-4 bell peppers, cleaned out and cut into strips 1 yellow onion, cut into strips 1 container white mushrooms, sliced 4 links of Italian-style sausage (chicken, pork, turkey, etc.), cut into rounds

Olive oil Seasoned salt Pepper Garlic salt

Directions: Drip a bit of olive oil into the bottom of a large skillet and heat on medium. Add onion strips and mushrooms to the pan and cook until just translucent. Add in pepper strips and cook for a few minutes, seasoning everything with seasoned salt, pepper and garlic salt to taste. Remove from pan and set aside.

In the same pan, toss in sausage rounds and cook through. Once cooked, add peppers, onions and mushrooms and warm it up. Serve hot with choice of dipping sauce (lowsugar ketchup or mustard is great with this!). Recipe courtesy of Emma Vatnsdal

JANUARY â&#x20AC;˘ FEBRUARYâ&#x20AC;&#x192;2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

FOOD FOR THOUGHT For plant-based families If you’re looking to up your plant-based game in the new year, you’re in luck because cutting back on meat has never been easier.

Burger are becoming more available when dining out. There’s no shortage of meatless recipes available online now.

In addition to potentially being good for your health, eating a little less meat can also be good for the Earth.

It can be hard to go cold tofurkey, though. Instead of shocking the system — your system, or your kiddos’ systems — start out by gradually reducing meat intake by doing a Meatless Monday or a Tofu Thursday. Need some help deciding what to try? Bring back the taste of summer with this recipe.

The main thing to watch out for is protein. Chickpeas, tofu and beans can provide necessary protein in meatless meals, while alternatives like veggie burgers or the Impossible

Beer Can Cabbage Sandwiches Ingredients: 1 large purple cabbage, about 3 ½ pounds 2 tablespoons vegetable oil ½ teaspoon kosher salt (plus more) ¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper (plus more) 1 (12-ounce) can pale lager 2 cups homemade or store-bought barbecue sauce, divided ½ large white onion, cut into ½-inch rings ¼ cup mayonnaise

2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar ¼ teaspoon honey 1 medium carrot (about 6 ounces), coarsely grated using the grater on a food processor or the largest holes on a box grater ¼ cup finely chopped red onion 1 handful of kale 6 seeded kaiser rolls or sturdy hamburger buns 12 slices cheddar cheese

Directions: Prepare grill for medium-high heat. Cut a 3-by3-inch square around the core of cabbage at the base. Carefully remove core with a knife. Using the knife and a spoon, create a 3-inchdeep cavity in the cabbage big enough to hold a beer can. Discard core but reserve leftover cabbage from hollowing out cavity.

During the last 5 minutes of cooking, grill white onion rings until charred. Meanwhile, whisk mayonnaise, vinegar, honey and remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper in a medium bowl. Thinly slice reserved cabbage. Add to bowl with dressing along with carrot, kale and red onion; toss to combine.

Using a brush, coat cabbage with oil, then season generously with salt and pepper. Pour out (or drink) half of the beer. Place beer can in cavity of cabbage so cabbage sits upright. Transfer to grill.

Remove cabbage from grill and discard can. Let cool slightly. Cut grilled cabbage in half lengthwise, then slice each half crosswise into ¾-inch strips. Coarsely chop white onion rings and toss with cabbage in a medium bowl with remaining 1 1/4 cups barbecue sauce (you should have about 6 cups barbecued cabbage). Slice rolls and grill until toasted, about 30 seconds.

Using a brush, generously coat cabbage with 3 tablespoons barbecue sauce. Cover grill and cook cabbage, brushing with sauce every 15 minutes, until outer leaves are crispy and dark brown and cabbage is cooked through and tender when pierced with a paring knife, about 45 to 50 minutes. 16

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

Arrange 1 cup barbecued cabbage on each bottom bun. Top each with 2 slices cheese, 1/4 cup cabbage slaw and top bun. Recipe altered from Epicurious.com.

Beer Can Cabbage Sandwiches with barbecue sauce and all the fixings are a great way to bring a vegetarian taste of summer into the winter months. | Forum file photo

JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

FOOD FOR THOUGHT For the keto-mama The seemingly miraculous ketogenic diet that took over Pinterest and Instagram the past few years is a great way to drop a few pounds relatively quickly. Even Forum reporter Tracy Briggs has given this a whirl. “There’s no shortage of strategies out there and I think I’ve tried many of them,” she said in a previous Forum article. “As a woman over the age of 50 and a weekly columnist whose subject frequently includes baked goods, I’ve found the weight creeping on. Dang! A vicious sweet tooth and slowing metabolism is a nasty combination. (Do your homework to find out what might work for you.) I’ll throw something into the mix that has helped me drop weight in the last month or so: a modified ketogenic eating plan.” But what is this diet, and how does it work? It’s a low-carb, high-fat, moderate-protein meal plan. When a person consumes carbs, their body produces

These Pumpkin Pie Cupcakes, containing just 4 grams of carbs each, share the same consistency as pumpkin pie, but are a healthier option. | Forum file photo

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

glucose for energy and insulin to process the glucose — turning glucose into the primary energy source and causing the body to store the unneeded fats. With keto eating, a low intake of carbs forces the body to tap into fat stores for energy, resulting in more fat-burning. Many advocates claim this diet leads to weight loss, controlled blood sugar, more mental focus, higher energy and other positive changes, while critics argue that it’s difficult to follow and could lead to muscle loss. And it’s not all about restriction. For the ketogenic diet to work, participants have to limit their intake of carbohydrates and increase their consumption of protein and fats. This means butter, full-fat cream and avocados are fair game, while cereals, pastas and breads are not. If you want to satisfy your sweet tooth, but stick to the keto plan, try these treats.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Pumpkin Pie Cupcakes Ingredients: 3 tablespoons coconut flour (and more, if needed) 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice ¼ teaspoon baking powder ¼ teaspoon baking soda Pinch of salt 1 cup pumpkin puree ¹/3 cup Truvia (or Swerve Sweetener) ¼ cup heavy cream, half-and-half or full coconut milk

1 large egg ½ teaspoon vanilla For whipped topping: Heavy cream ½ teaspoon vanilla 1 tablespoon Truvia, to taste

Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line 6 muffin cups with paper liners. In a small bowl, whisk together the coconut flour, pumpkin pie spice, baking powder, baking soda and salt.

Divide among prepared muffin cups and bake 25 to 30 minutes, until just puffed and barely set. Remove from oven and let cool in pan. (They will sink. That’s OK — all the better for plopping whipped cream on top!)

In a large bowl, whisk pumpkin puree, sweetener, cream, egg and vanilla until well combined. Whisk in dry ingredients. If the batter seems thin, whisk in an additional tablespoon of coconut flour.

Refrigerate for at least 1 hour before serving. Generously dollop whipped cream on top. Recipe courtesy of Alldayidreamaboutfood.com

JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

' World’s Worst Mom' tells all I apologized for yelling, explained that I had just been startled and told her that she was always allowed to go in her room but that I’d be sad if she stayed there forever. But into her room she went. “I’m never talking to you again!” she told me through the closed door.

Story by | Alicia Strnad Hoalcraft

’m the worst mom in the whole world. I know this is true because my 6-year-old, Calliope, tells me so often, usually when she’s arguing about my rules, like no screen time on school nights, bedtime is 7 p.m. every night, and you can’t have ice cream for dinner more than once a month.

A few minutes later, ever forever had apparently passed so she exited her room. She didn’t look at me and didn’t speak, instead grabbing a piece of paper and a marker. She worked on it for a few minutes before she put the cap back on her marker. She grabbed a stool and sat on it, holding her creation in front of her. It was a self-portrait with a sad face. Above her picture she’d written the words “Free child.” “Free child?” I asked. “What does that mean?”

Take, for example, a Sunday afternoon in early November that my daughter and I spent at home. We made lunch together, read some books, and then played mancala until I wanted to beg for mercy.

She grunted.

“Gosh, what a nice day we’re having,” I foolishly said out loud.

“Free child? Does that mean you’re giving yourself away? You don’t want to be my daughter anymore?”

My daughter chose that exact moment to decide that she wanted to be an acrobat. And to be an acrobat, you must practice acrobatics. On the couch. That your mom is sitting on. And immediately (accidentally!) kick your mother in the face as you attempt some sort of complicated flip.

Grunt. Nod.

“Ouch!” I yelled, both because I wasn’t expecting to be kicked in the face and because being kicked in the face hurts. “You screamed at me!” she screamed. “I hate when people scream at me! I’m going to my room and never coming out ever forever!” 20

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

“Oh, you’re still not talking to me? I have to guess?” Grunt grunt.

“Oh, that makes me sad. I love you so much, Calliope, and I’d be heartbroken without you.” Silence. “OK, I understand. I will try to think of who would like a little girl as wonderful as you.” I sent her dad a text asking him to come home from his errands as soon as he could. He walked in a few minutes later and Callie still sat on her stool, holding her sign. “What’s this? A free child?” he said. “I like children. Do you want to be my daughter?”

' WORLD'S WORST MOM' She jumped into his arms. “Yes!” “Can I be a part of your family?” I asked her. She held up her “free child” sign. “If I rip this, that means we’re a family again,” she told me. She tore it down the middle and handed it to me. “Here, Mom. Take this. Dad and I are going to play mancala. Can I have ice cream for dinner?” Thankfully, these outbursts don’t happen often, but it was a stressful event for both of us. Trying to navigate a young child’s big feelings in a situation like that, especially when it triggers big feelings in me, is not something anyone prepared me for before I had a kid, and it’s not something we often discuss as parents because of the shame and guilt we feel about our worst moments, as we question whether we brought this on, whether we really are the worst parent and our child would be better off setting up a stool and a “free child” sign and waiting for a nicer, more together parent to come get them. But the moments on the other side of the spectrum are what give me hope and makes me feel like I might not be totally screwing up this whole thing. I came home from work the Tuesday night before Thanksgiving to find my husband and daughter hunched over the table, working hard on a project. I’d received devastating news earlier in the day and was planning to skip family time and go directly to bed. I asked what was going on and Calliope explained to me that the next day was Thanksgiving

• Kid Safe Cleaning • Low Moisture • Dry in one Hour

at school. “And that’s when you tell everyone you’re thankful for them. And I’m thankful for all of them!” Turns out while I was at work, she had asked her dad to help her write a thank-you note to every single member of her class, as well as about a dozen teachers. My husband wrote each name on the front of the homemade cards. Inside each one, Calliope carefully wrote the message “thank you” in her best handwriting. “That’s wonderful, Callie,” I said, overwhelmed at her display of caring and kindness toward her schoolmates and teachers. “I bet that will make them all feel really special.” She shrugged and went back to work while I contemplated how her act of thoughtfulness was just the reminder I needed of the good in the world. I was still lost in thought when she jumped into my lap and handed me a folded piece of paper: the thankyou card she’d made for me. She hugged me. “I’m thankful for you, Mom. You’re the best!” Yes, I thought, to have raised such a kind-hearted child, I must be. The best mom. Or, at least, the best mom for my kid. Alicia Strnad Hoalcraft is manager of integrated media operations production for Forum Communications. She lives in Moorhead with her husband, Brian, and their 6-year-old daughter Calliope. When she’s not working or parenting, she enjoys reading too much, reorganizing her cabinets too often and watching too much “Real Housewives”. Readers can email Alicia at astrnad@forumcomm.com.

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Ashley Oberholtzer Photography

Ten Little Chickens Photography

Exposures by j.linnea

Shutterbug is a section dedicated to partnering with area photographers who have a passion for family portraits. Interested in partnering with On The Minds of Moms? Email info@onthemindsofmoms.com.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

My2Peas Photography

shutterbug

Tessa Simmers Photography

Ten Little Chickens Photography JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS IN-DEPTH

According to the American Psychology Association, 91 percent of those in Generation Z have said they have experienced one physical or emotional symptom of stress. | iStock.com / Special to The Forum 24

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS IN-DEPTH

The 'anxious generation' Why young people are lonelier and more stressed than the rest of us

Story by | Tracy Briggs

hen you first spot Concordia College senior Mollie Francis sitting at a table at the school’s

Knutson Campus Center, you immediately get the sense she’s someone others admire. She’s a good student, hoping one day to be a physician assistant, and she was active in track and soccer in high school. She looks like any other smiling student athlete in the yearbook. And in many ways, she is. Francis is one of a growing number of young people in the United States battling anxiety. Anxiety is defined by the American Psychological Association as “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes, such as sweating, trembling, dizziness or a rapid heartbeat.” People with anxiety disorders usually have recurring intrusive thoughts or concerns and may avoid certain situations out of worry about what could happen. “When I was a freshman and I’d be studying, I’d have these little panic attacks, like I don’t know this material and I’m not gonna be able to learn in X amount of time,” Francis says. She was also starting to lose weight.

“I couldn’t eat, nothing looked appetizing. I actually went to the doctor and they ended up doing a lot of extensive testing in terms of different food intolerances because that’s what we thought the issue was. Then I went to a gastroenterologist and they did an endoscopy. After all of that, we figured out it was anxiety,” she says. Her story is all too common. Most children who end up with an anxiety diagnosis first complain about their stomach hurting. It’s a symptom they can easily explain. What is harder to explain is exactly what is causing anxiety in teens and children and how we, as parents, can help them cope. Find On the Minds of Mom first in-depth series: “The anxiety epidemic”, a seven-part series publishing Jan. 7 through 14 on InForum.com. Tracy Briggs investigates possible reasons for the increase of anxiety cases and discusses treatment options with both sufferers and health practitioners. The anxious generation In 2018, Pew Research polled 920 Americans between the ages of 13 and 17 to learn about the concerns faced by Generation Z, defined as those born JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS IN-DEPTH roughly between 1995 and 2015. The survey found a generation less hedonistic, better behaved and lonelier than previous generations. A full 70 percent of respondents called anxiety and depression a “major issue” among their peers. In a Harris poll, 91 percent of Gen Z respondents reported feeling some physical or emotional symptoms from stress. According to the Child Mind Institute, nearly 1 in 3 adolescents will meet criteria by the time they’re 18 for an anxiety disorder, which includes generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder or social phobias. And the incidence of anxiety more than doubles from the age of 13 to 18. High school students today have more anxiety symptoms and are twice as likely to see a mental health professional as teens in the 1980s. “Anxiety is the No. 1 thing I see people for,” says Tracy Hansen with Fraser Ltd.’s Valley Hope Counseling. Hansen says she sees more adolescent girls than boys suffering from anxiety, but both genders face it. She likes to remind people anxiety is a normal emotion we all have and we don’t want to get rid of it entirely. “Anxiety serves a purpose. Anxiety helps us to be able to tell us when something is wrong and give us a warning sign. It’s the same alarm that went off back in the Stone Age times when there was a saber-toothed tiger ready to attack. It’s like a smoke alarm,” she says. “But you have to see is there toast burning or if there is a fire burning.” For those with anxiety disorders, Hansen says it’s like the smoke alarm won’t stop going off, even when nothing is on fire.The anxiety — fear that something bad will happen — gets in the way of living their lives. They have disproportionate reactions to normal developmental experiences, like going to school, attending a party or staying at a sleepover or camp. “I think there is so much more anxiety now but people also don’t feel like they can cope the way they might have in the past,” she says. “It’s more common 26

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

Mollie Francis, a Concordia College student, holds her emotional support animal, Oliver, who helps her with symptoms of anxiety. | Submitted photo that we can talk about it. But I think the threshold of where people feel like they can cope is different. I think they’re calling anxiety unmanageable, when in the past it was just seen as stress.” What’s causing all the anxiety in these young people? Hansen says Gen Z is growing up in a “scarier world” with school shootings, lockdown drills and gun violence. This generation’s heavy social media usage also isn’t helping, she says. No matter the cause, Hansen says she tries to teach her clients how to better cope with the feelings prompted by their anxiety. “Thoughts, feelings and behaviors are all connected,” she says. “Sometimes it’s about reframing thoughts and recognizing thought distortion.” Others plagued with anxiety get help with medications. Francis says a combination of

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS IN-DEPTH medication and getting an emotional support animal, a cat named Oliver, has helped her in the last couple of years. She says “cuddling” with him every night calms her and helps her focus. “My freshman year, I probably overstudied, and not studying in the right way. But when I got on the medication, it helped me channel that

anxiety into healthy study — a more controlled way of studying.” Francis, like many people, says she knows she might battle anxiety her entire life. The strength comes in recognizing what’s real and what’s not — empowering herself every day to conquer the imaginary saber-toothed tiger.

Who is Gen Z? Since generations can span two full decades, it’s sometimes hard to generalize characteristics of those within a generation. But here are some perceived similarities of those in Generation Z, who were born between 1995 and 2015 and make up a quarter of the U.S. population.

gratification and have a fear of missing out when they’re not able to do something.

They are tech savvy: From the day they were born, the internet and cellphones were commonplace. If they want information, they know where to find it. According to Kasasa.com, the average person in this generation received their first mobile phone when they were about 10 years old. “Many of them grew up playing with their parents’ mobile phones or tablets. They have grown up in a hyper-connected world and the smartphone is their preferred method of communication. On average, they spend three hours a day on their mobile device.”

They are the loneliest generation: Because of their heavy social media usage, they spend more hours online with friends, but less time together. While connected, they self-report more loneliness than their parents did growing up in the 1970s and ‘80s.

Despite tech, they like face-to-face interaction: They like to interact face to face with people. But it doesn’t have to be in person. They are heavy users of video chat platforms like FaceTime and Skype.

They are independent: Perhaps a result of their impatience and competitiveness, they like to work and achieve goals on their own and not always rely on others.

They welcome change: Gen Z is open to new ideas and experiences. They can change their mind quickly and adapt to change well. They are more selfless: According to Pew Research, Gen Z is less hedonistic and better behaved than previous generations. They tend to be close to their families and aware of the needs of the world.

They are competitive, often with themselves: They demand the best. They want to earn good grades, get into the best schools and land the highest paying jobs. Competition drives them.

Diversity is the norm: Gen Z grew up with a black president and marriage equality. They are less likely to judge others based on race, gender or sexual orientation. According to TTI Success Insights, they will be the last generation to live in an America where the majority of people are white.

They are impatient: Because of technology, they aren’t used to waiting. They want instant

War is the norm: Most Gen Z Americans have never known their country not at war.

JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

Life unexpected

Navigating life, parenting with advanced stage cancer

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

PAM MCGEE

Story by | Mary Jo Hotzler

n Pam McGee’s life, she’s been a teacher, a consultant, a public speaker, and even a semitruck driver. But her most rewarding role of all has been that of mother. When she was young, Pam never dreamed about having kids. She never planned on getting married or conforming to any of the societal norms. Instead, she had her mind set on being a “jetsetting, briefcase-carrying businesswoman living a fancy rich life.” Needless to say, the last 20 years of parenting — and of life — have been an unexpected journey of learning, self-discovery, and acceptance. “You’ve got to be open to the unexpected,” she says. It’s more than just talk for this Fargo woman as she now faces the biggest plot twist of all: Stage 4 cancer. The prognosis for advanced-stage cancer, by all statistical accounts, isn’t great. But then again, Pam isn’t one to get wrapped up in odds and averages. With the support of her family — whom she calls “The Pack” — her friends and her community, Pam is determined to overcome this latest challenge. “The only thing I can control is my optimism,” she says. “It’s not blind optimism; I honestly believe I’m going to lick this.”

JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

LIFE UNEXPECTED Living the dream Pam’s fascination with becoming a career-woman started when she was just a kid, living with her family in Mondovi, Wisconsin. One day in church she noticed two women seated ahead of her: one in a business suit and one in military uniform. “Mom, I want to wear one of those suits,” Pam announced. “I want to be one of those women.” Business seemed to be the best fit for Pam’s independent spirit, but she knew that would mean going to college — not a small consideration since no one in the family had ever gone. “That’s a really good goal ...” Pam recalls her mom saying, “but we are so broke that I don’t know that it’s going to be a reality.” Pam was determined. She got a job at the local bowling alley and began saving money in a big Tootsie Roll bank. She made good on her goals and attended college at the University of Wisconsin, Lacrosse. Pam graduated in 1987 — a time when the unemployment rate was low and the job market competitive. Still, she knew she needed to start somewhere and had been offered two possibilities: a management job at Taco Bell or a management training job at Dayton's in Grand Forks. “I really didn’t want either of them, but I knew Taco Bell wasn’t going to be my deal, so ...” Pam took the Dayton's job and moved to North Dakota. A few years later, that opportunity led to an expanded role with the company and a move to Minneapolis. Everything was going as planned — that is until adventure came knocking. Life on the road “I got distracted. Completely distracted and off the path,” she says of her abrupt decision to quit Dayton's and buy a semitruck with her boyfriend. The two spent the next 18 months driving and living in a semi. Reflecting on it now, Pam smiles and shakes her head ever so slightly: “I was in love. I was merely in love.” Of course, the luster of this life eventually wore off. So one day as she was driving through Pennsylvania, she pulled off the road at a truck stop, picked up the payphone and called the University of North Dakota to inquire about graduate school. That, Pam determined, would be her next step. 30

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

“It’s always been education that’s regrounded me,” she says. “When I was lost in my career, I got a different certification; when I was lost in life, I went back and got another degree. That’s just how life works for me.” While attending graduate school, Pam met her eventual husband, Scott Spanjer, and a handful of other important connections that would later help her find her way back into the business world. One of those people was Dave Homstad, with whom Pam opened the Blue Moose restaurant in East Grand Forks. “That changed my entire trajectory,” she says. After graduating, Pam moved on from the restaurant business and taught for one year at Dickinson State University, which led to a position at Mayville State University and a few consulting positions, including at Great Plains Software. There, she eventually took on a full-time position as a global trainer. Back on track, working for a major company, traveling the world and teaching: Pam was truly living her dream. Bruce Springsteen changed all of that. Becoming Mama Bear The Springsteen concert was in November 1999, and just before Christmas, Pam learned she was pregnant. “I went to the doctor because I thought I was dying,” she recalls. “My doctor told me that I was pregnant, and I looked at her and said, ‘I really want a second opinion on this.'” She and Scott weren’t married, and so when she shared the news, he proposed. Needless to say, that didn’t exactly go as planned. “I couldn’t think of anything else to say but ‘Good God no, I’m pregnant! What do I need a husband for? I’ve got bigger issues right now,'” she says. Scott, too, can laugh about it today. Over the years, he says he’s developed a good sense of humor — and persistence — thanks to Pam. The couple will celebrate 20 years of marriage this year. When Isaac came along, everything changed. All of Pam’s preconceived ideas about life shifted in an instant. She became “Mama Bear,” feeling an overwhelming need to protect this new little baby. In the beginning, she even took Isaac to work with her. Three years after Isaac was born, another surprise: daughter Erika.

LIFE UNEXPECTED

Pam McGee poses with family during November 2019. | Photo courtesy of Ann Arbor Miller

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

LIFE UNEXPECTED “I did not want to let go of Erika,” Pam says. For the first six months, Erika traveled around with her mom and the two were inseparable. A love of learning There was a time when Pam tried being a stay-athome mom, but she knew that would be short-lived when she started making flip charts in the living room and calling meetings to discuss the family's goals and vision. That was when her family urged her — insisted really — to get back to work and back to pursuing her career dreams. A teaching position at Minnesota State University Moorhead was the right fit at the right time. It wasn’t corporate America, but it allowed Pam the freedom to do something she loved and still spend time with the ones she loved. She remains at MSUM today as an associate professor in the professional management department. She’s had a number of roles at the university over the years, including a recent run as the interim assistant vice president of academic innovation and engagement. One of her biggest accomplishments was launching the Bachelor of Science degree in project management at MSUM and building one of only six globally accredited programs in project management. Isaac, now 19, and Erika, 16, have discovered the same love for learning, and McGee says that’s one of the parenting accomplishments of which she is most proud. Isaac, a sophomore at Yale University, said one of the important things his mom taught him is that “learning is more than reading textbooks.” It’s about culture, it’s about community, and it’s about seeing and approaching the world with an open mind, he explains. That, and she taught both kids some very practical advice that has helped both with their academic success: “No work is done unless you’ve doublechecked it.”

At a Chamber of Commerce Women Connect event, Pam walked on stage to a crowd of more than 250 women, all who wore red “Team Pam” T-shirts. | Submitted photo.

Lessons in vulnerability The cancer diagnosis came just before Mother’s Day this past year. There had been subtle signs over time: fatigue, weight loss, hoarseness, shortness of breath. It wasn’t until she went to the doctor, thinking it was asthma, that tests ultimately revealed advanced stage lung cancer. Sharing the news with family was one of the most JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

LIFE UNEXPECTED difficult parts of all. After telling Scott, Pam’s first call was to her sister, Susie, and then to her mom, Sally. Pam and Scott waited a couple of weeks to tell the kids until Isaac was home from college and they could sit together, face-to-face, like they do for all important family discussions. It was news no one expected. From the start, Pam tried to be honest and hopeful. More than anything, she just wanted things to stay as normal as possible. She quickly realized that isn’t as simple as it sounds, no matter how hard you try to control the narrative. Pam admits she has had a few “meltdowns” but acknowledges she is more private with her emotional responses. Realizing that doesn’t work for everyone has been an exercise in vulnerability and has taught Pam an important parenting lesson: Even though your instincts are to protect your kids from hurting, you have to also be careful about trying to control their emotional responses. The family knows their mom has only the best intentions. One of the most amazing things about Pam, says husband Scott, is her compassion and that unique ability she has to make any situation better. Isaac, too, calls his mom a “natural-born problem solver” and on top of that, the most attentive person you’ll ever meet. Since the diagnosis, there have been good doctor

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

appointments and disappointing ones; good days and bad days. So far, she says she’s feeling good and hasn’t experienced some of the extreme side effects that often accompany chemotherapy, like hair loss and sickness. “I have the easy job,” Pam says. “I have the cancer so people wait on me, hand and foot. It’s those around you that struggle the most with cancer.” Wonder Woman Humble. It’s a word frequently used by Pam’s friends to describe her. She never demands the spotlight, and yet she has a radiant energy that people just want to be around. Her extensive network of friends, acquaintances and admirers has been a big part of her journey these past six months. One of the most humbling experiences was this past summer when Pam and longtime friend, Tonya Stende, were scheduled to present at a Chamber of Commerce Women Connect event. Pam walked on stage to a crowd of more than 250 women, all who wore red “Team Pam” Wonder Woman T-shirts. Tonya had worked with the Chamber to provide shirts for every woman. “There were so many Pam champions in the crowd, and there were some just coming to hear us speak,” Tonya recalls. “The fact they also put the

LIFE UNEXPECTED Wonder Women shirts on to support this amazing leader, community member and selfless human was so inspiring.” Tonya says she was especially moved seeing Pam’s family at the front two tables. It was the first time Pam’s parents had seen her onstage. “The look of pride they had on their faces is a memory I will cherish forever,” Tonya says. Tonya and Pam’s paths first crossed 11 years ago when both were involved in launching the United Way’s 35 Under 35 Women’s Leadership program. Pam continues to participate in the program as a speaker, sharing lessons she has learned throughout her journey. “Every year we receive feedback that she is one of the most impactful speakers throughout the sixmonth program,” says Kristi Huber, president of the United Way of Cass-Clay. “It’s incredible to hear from women in the program, as many attribute success in their careers post-program to hearing Pam’s presentation.” Kristi says she’s grateful for Pam’s mentorship and for their friendship. “Pam inspires me to think bigger about the potential we have to serve more people in our community and create new collaborations that will provide lasting change,” she says.

Pam McGee and kids Erika Spanjer, 16, and Isaac Spanjer, 19, sit for a portrait outside the family’s north Fargo home. Photographed on Nov. 27, 2019. | Ann Arbor Miller The Forum

All of the attention makes Pam uncomfortable, but thankful nevertheless. Feeling love from so many — near and far — makes dealing with the unexpected twists in life a whole lot easier. “Why not me to get cancer?” she says. “I’ve got the best insurance. I have the best husband on the planet. I’ve got two of the best kids. I could call any girlfriend at any point in time, and they would come to my house and clean my toilets if they had to ... so why not me to get cancer? I’m equipped to handle it.” In particular, Pam’s dad Dean has been a special source of inspiration these last few months. Thirty-five years ago, at the age of 42, he suffered a serious heart attack and was told he likely had five years to live. Today, he’s 77. For Pam, it’s proof that odds and averages shouldn’t dictate anyone’s story, or its ending. It’s why she isn’t giving up hope. “I’m going to beat the odds. I know I am,” Pam says. “It’s going to be a hell of a journey we didn’t plan on, but we’re going to do it together, and we are going to win.”

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Kurtis Karn, husband to Katie, and dad to 3-year-old Kendrix and 8-year-old Kingston, is passionate about making "awesome humans." | Photo courtesy of Lindsay Kaye Photography

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

Kurtis Karn

Age: 40, Fargo, N.D.

Story by | April Knutson

ne day Kurtis Karn may slow down, but that day won’t be in the near future. His passion for people fuels his busy life as a dad, music performer and successful leadership and talent developer. A quick smile, genuine warmth and infectious energy, leaves every person he meets with a “Let’s do this!” attitude. In fact, in the seventh grade, he confessed to his mom, “I think I’m just going to focus on getting to know my classmates instead of focusing on actual school.” While earning his bachelor’s degree in business administration at the University of Jamestown, he jokes he would have changed his major to “talking to people” if he could. This honest fascination with people and what moves them also fuels his lifelong love of music, resulting in starting a pop-punk band, At the Emporium, with his friends more than 12 years ago. Now that he and some of his bandmates have kids, they play less often — but he still loves to perform as the band’s singer and frontman whenever possible. As a husband to Katie and dad of two to 8-year-old Kingston and 3-year-old Kendrix, Karn says he is most passionate about helping his kids (and those he meets) to become “awesome humans.” Besides his family, he works toward this goal at Discovery Benefits and Wex Health as their manager of talent acquisition. This year, as the co-creator of Sunshine&79 with Nicole Turchin, he develops and presents on a variety of topics that will resonate with every human, on every team, in every organization, to partner in the creation of a world of awesomeness and humor.

RAD DAD

I would describe my childhood as… I don’t know how to describe it, but I always remember the sunshine. My mother was an elementary teacher, so I remember the summers and being outside. There was also a lot of music in my house growing up, so there was a lot of dancing and singing. The soundtrack to my teenage years are these albums… When I was 16, I inherited my brother’s car which only had the radio and an 8-track. The two 8-tracks were Journey’s album “Escape” and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” But I also had glorious AM radio…so I am a HUGE sucker for ‘80s pop songs. I LOVE one-hit wonders, but basically everything from the early to mid-’80s. My dad also had a ‘50s and ‘60s cover band so I can sing basically any hit from those two decades as they probably played it! My hidden talent is… clapping my feet. (Don’t ask). The thing I always hope to do someday is… sing one of my own songs on “Saturday Night Live.” That was always the highest platform for music for me growing up. My favorite thing when I have free time is… I love listening to music with my kids! The go-to meal my kids love is… mac and cheese or pizza. The best part of my job is… I love watching a person grow in their position, both personally and professionally! People continually impress me every day. JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

RAD DAD What I love about public speaking is… being able to connect with someone in the audience so they want to go out and take action to make themselves or someone else better in some way! It is extremely difficult to motivate humans to take action, that is why I love that challenge! I like to teach my children about... empathy and confidence. Both of my kids are very empathetic and I love that about them. I am also trying to instill confidence as something that will carry you a long way. If your wife described you in three words, she would say… ”please stop moving.” Being a parent and creating music requires… trial and error. No two children are the same or will react to the same situation. Also when you first become a parent, you just figure it out… people give you all this advice, wanted or not, but you have to do what works best for you and your family.

Karn says he loves listening to music with his kids. He is pictured with his son Kingston. | Photo courtesy of Lindsay Kaye Photography

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

The secret to balancing a career, a consulting business and At the Emporium with family time is… energy drinks. (I’m just kidding.) I am not sure I have this figured out just yet… you just try to do your best and make time for the things that you need at that point in your professional and personal life. Each section goes in ups and downs, so just making sure you are staying on top of what needs it most at that time. I just try and do my best for

RAD DAD my families, both at home and at work. I wish I had this all figured out, because I would then write a book on the subject and make a bunch of money… I want to teach my children to… find the line between confidence and humility. I think both qualities are so important, but finding the balance is hard to do. I’m happiest when… It is different types of happy. I think about times when I find myself smiling and laughing: • On the couch watching movies with my family. • Making my wife laugh so hard she snorts. • When my kids make me laugh so hard my face hurts. • On stage speaking or performing. • Running with my headphones in. • Connecting with another human on some level. • Making other people laugh so hard their face hurts.

Karn says he's the happiest "When my kids make me laugh so hard my face hurts." He's shown here with his daughter, Kendrix. | Photo courtesy of Lindsay Kaye Photography JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

JANUARY EVENTS

7 MSUM Planetarium

Where: MSUM Planetarium, 700 11th St. S., Moorhead When: 6:30 - 7:30 p.m. Price: $6 for adults and students, $3 for senior citizens and children 12 and younger Info: Take a tour of our night sky and learn about current events in astronomy. https://www.mnstate.edu/planetarium/

YMCA Swim School

Where: Fercho YMCA, 400 First Ave. S., Fargo When: Sessions run weekly, Jan. 6-March 7 Price: $67.50 for YMCA members, $135 for non-members Info: YMCA Swim School Classes are held once a week for 30 minutes. Families that wish to swim more than once a week are encouraged to do so by signing up for additional lesson days. The YMCA also offers private, one-on-one lessons for an additional cost. For more information, including class times, age groups and private lesson pricing, visit ymcacassclay.org/programs-camps/ youth-teen/swim-school/

9 UnCork Club

Where: Cork ‘N Cleaver, 3301 S. University Drive, Fargo When: 5-7 p.m. Price: $15 yearly membership Info: The “UnCorked Club” meets every Thursday night for wine tasting and appetizers.

LEGO Club

Where: Moorhead Public Library, 118 Fifth St. S. When: 6 p.m. Price: Free Info: People of all ages and ability can come make their own LEGO creation. Supplies provided.

10-12

Fight the Frost

PJ Masks Live! Save the Day

S’mores & More

Where: Fargodome, 1800 North University Drive, Fargo When: 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Price: Daily inflatable tickets: $12 for ages 6 and older, $7 for children 5 and younger; Daily access passes to inflatables, archery tag and blacklight games: $15 Info: Games Galore and the FARGODOME are again teaming up for three full days to Fight the Frost. Families with children of all ages are invited to enjoy more than 30 inflatables — including eight obstacle courses, archery tag, blacklight games, dodgeball, nine-square and mini golf. There’ll even be a designated kiddie land for children 5 and younger. Parking and admission is free, with inflatables and other games being pay to play. Concessions will also be available for purchase. http://fightthefrost.com/fargo/

10 Fargo Famous Talent Show

Where: The Stage at Island Park When: 7:30-9 p.m. Price: Free Will donations accepted Info: Third annual live event highlighting the incredible talent in the F-M area. Support the talent in our community, as well as the Fargo Moorhead Community Theatre.

11 Pancake Breakfast

Where: Moorhead Masonic Family Center, 1815 11th St. N., Moorhead When: 7-11 a.m. Price: $8 Info: All you can eat buttermilk and swedish pancakes, sausage and eggs.

Not Another Teen Book Club

Where: Moorhead Public Library, 118 Fifth St. S. When: 3 p.m. Price: Free Info: Discussion of historical fiction novel “The Downstairs Girl” by Stacey Lee. Treats provided.

Space Quest Live

Where: MSUM Planetarium, 700 11th St. S., Moorhead When: 10-11 a.m. Price: $6 for those 13 and older, $3 for seniors and children 12 and younger Info: Take a space adventure where you are the guide! Shows run weekly at the MSUM Planetarium. For more information, visit https://www.mnstate. edu/planetarium/.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

Where: Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo When: 2-4 p.m. Price: $29.50 to $59.50 Info: Catch this new superheroic live musical show; buy tickets at ticketmaster.com.

13 Kids’ Graphic Novel Book Club

Where: Moorhead Public Library, 118 Fifth St. S. When: 6:30 p.m. Price: Free Info: Monthly book club for kids that will focus on the world of four graphic novels by Kazu Kibuishi.

The Arc Minnesota Dances

Where: Ellen Hopkins Elementary School, 2020 11th St. S., Moorhead When: 7:15 p.m. Price: Free Info: Come dance and socialize at this event sponsored by The Arc Minnesota, West Central Region.

16 Baby Bounce

Where: Moorhead Public Library, 118 Fifth St. S. When: 10:15 a.m. Price: Free Info: Songs, stories and poems for infants through preschoolers and their caregivers. Program lasts about 30 minutes.

18 Cardboard Sled Race

Where: Mickelson Park & Softball Fields, 901 Oak St. N., Fargo When: 10-11:30 a.m. Price: Free Info: Create your own cardboard sled and face off against other racers or vie for most creative sled. Visit fargoparks. com for full rules and age categories.

Paw Patrol Live

Where: Fargodome, 1800 N. University Drive When: 2 p.m. Price: $45-$500 Info: Live performance with the characters of the popular children’s show “Paw Patrol.”

Where: Roosevelt Park, 1220 Ninth St. N., Fargo When: 5-7 p.m. Price: Free Info: Gather at the park for s’mores, hot chocolate, music and outdoor skating. Bring your skates, and the rink and warming house will be available during this event.

21 Story Time

Where: Moorhead Public Library, 118 Fifth St. S. When: 6:30 p.m. Price: Free Info: Kids of all ages can come enjoy stories, songs and poems plus a craft project. Program lasts about 60 minutes.

25 Winter Birding Festival

Where: Forest River Park, 500 Forest River Drive, Fargo When: 9 a.m. to noon Price: Free Info: Open to birders of all levels; a limited number of binoculars will be provided.

27 S’mores & More

Where: Clara Barton Park, 1451 Sixth St. S., Fargo When: 5-7 p.m. Price: Free Info: Gather at the park for s’mores, hot chocolate, music and outdoor skating. Bring your skates, and the rink and warming house will be available during this event.

31 Monster Jam

Where: Fargodome, 1800 N. University Drive When: 7 p.m. Price: $10-$65 Info: Adrenaline-charged entertainment for the family includes trucks, racing, wheelies and more. Ages 2 and older require a ticket, and costumes are not permitted for guests ages 14 and older.

Frozen Fortress

S’mores & More

Winter Trails Day

Where: Hjemkomst Center, 202 First Ave. N., Moorhead When: 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Price: Free Info: Enjoy the Minnesota Business Association’s Snow Sculpture Contest, free cross-country skiing and snowshoe rentals, indoor and outdoor games, a hot chocolate station and more.

Where: Centennial Park, 4101 25th St. S., Fargo When: 5-7 p.m. Price: Free Info: Gather at the park for s’mores, hot chocolate, music and outdoor skating. Bring your skates, and the rink and warming house will be available during this event.

S’mores & More

Fargo Kiwanis Pancake Karnival

Where: Longfellow Park, 20 29th Ave. N., Fargo When: 5-7 p.m. Price: Free Info: Gather at the park for s’mores, hot chocolate, music and outdoor skating. Bring your skates, and the rink and warming house will be available during this event.

7 Sweetheart Dance

Where: Rustad Recreation Center, 601 26th Ave. E., West Fargo When: 6-8:30 p.m. Price: $30 Info: A special evening including a grand march, dancing and music for girls 4-12 and their father, grandfather or other male role model.

8 Undie Run

Where: Fargo Civic Center, 207 Fourth St. N. When: 4 p.m. Price: $15 in advance or $20 the day of Info: Brave the cold in just your knickers for this fun run.

Sweetheart Dance

Where: Rustad Recreation Center, 601 26th Ave. E., West Fargo When: 4:30-7 p.m. Price: $30 Info: A special evening including a grand march, dancing and music for girls 4-12 and their father, grandfather or other male role model.

Ronald McDonald House Charities Sweetheart Ball

Where: Delta Hotels by Marriott, 1635 42nd St. S., Fargo When: 6-11:30 p.m. Price: $75 for an individual ticket Info: 31st annual event featuring dinner, dancing, auctions and more.

Where: Fargodome, 1800 N. University Drive, Fargo When: 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. Price: $7 in advance or $8 at the door; kids 2 and under eat free Info: Enjoy food and fun at the 62nd annual event that benefits youth groups in the area.

Coffee & Cocoa Crawl

Where: Various locations throughout downtown Fargo When: 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Price: $15; includes a mug and samples of coffee and cocoa Info: Bundle up for a stroll through downtown Fargo and enjoy warm beverage samples at more than 20 places.

20 Belles & Blooms

Where: Fargo Country Club, 509 26th Ave. S. When: 7-10 p.m. Price: $60 Info: Second annual fundraiser for Hope Blooms will feature fun, food, drinks and beauty.

Where: M.B. Johnson Park, 3601 11th St. N., Moorhead When: 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Price: Free Info: Learn how to snowshoe, snowshoe or cross-country ski during this event that’s a part of Frostival.

FEBRUARY EVENTS

Youth Ice Fishing Derby

Where: Woodhaven South Park & Fishing Pond, 4802 Woodhaven Drive S., Fargo When: 1:30-3 p.m. Info: Registration at 1:30 and derby from 2-3 p.m.; bring your ice fishing rod and tackle and adult supervision or enjoy free hot cocoa and giveaways.

28 & 29 2020 Red River Valley Home & Garden Show

Where: Fargodome, 1800 N. University Drive When: 3-9 p.m. Feb. 28 and 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Feb. 29; also 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. on March 1 Price: $6 in advance or $10 at the door; free for kids 18 and younger when accompanied by an adult Info: 59th annual event showcases available products and services and puts consumers in touch with professionals.

Do you have an event that you would like to add to the On The Minds of Moms print calendar for its next issue? Email info@onthemindsofmoms.com.

21 Cold Cinema: A Winter Movie Night

Where: Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo When: 6-8 p.m. Price: Free Info: Bring a blanket and a friend and enjoy an outdoor movie in a covered shelter. This is part of Frostival; www. frostival.com.

Unglued Craft Fest

Where: Plains Art Museum, 704 First Ave. N., Fargo When: Friday and Saturday, Feb. 21-22 Price: Free Info: An inspired weekend of creative fun and celebration featuring modern handmade makers, artists and crafters. www.ungluedmarket.com

Honoring Our Tradition Reimagining Our Future Make sure you receive important school district information. Register your pre-kindergarten child at https://communityed.moorheadschools.org and select Community Census or call 218-284-3400. 2020 Kindergarten Registration begins at 8 a.m. February 4 www.moorheadschools.org/enroll JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

RESOURCES

CONNECT, FIND HELP, GET ANSWERS, MAKE A DIFFERENCE

DivorceCare for Kids 13 week session for kids ages 6 and up at Hope Lutheran South Campus – Call for session dates 701.235.6629.

com, or Liz St. Louis, 701.212.7877 or estlouis4@gmail.com.

Pregnancy, Parenting and Adoption Services [PPAS] The PPAS program provides decision-making counseling, parenting support and adoption services to those facing unintended pregnancies. For expectant parents who choose to parent their child, PPAS provides resources to help them prepare for their new baby. For more information, call 701.235.4457, email info@catholiccharitiesnd.org, or visit www.catholiccharitiesnd.org. Prevent Child Abuse North Dakota PCAND is a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization and Chapter of Prevent Child Abuse America that is dedicated exclusively to the prevention of child abuse and neglect. PCAND, formerly known as the North Dakota Committee to Prevent Child Abuse and Parents Anonymous, has been working to prevent child abuse and strengthen families in North Dakota since 1978. For parenting education, support and materials, visit www.pcand.org. FM Busy Babies Connecting parents with information, insights, and activities. FMBB also hosts events with the goal of giving back to our community. For more information, visit www.fmbusybabies.com. Post Adopt Support Group Any ND adoptive family or any ND family providing guardianships are invited to attend this group meeting. If you have questions, please email postadopt@pathinc. org or call 701.551.6349. Visit our website [www.ndpostadopt.org] for meeting times across the state of North Dakota. Jeremiah Program Empowerment. Education. Success. It is what Jeremiah Program was built on, what participants strive for and what the program helps participants achieve. At Jeremiah Program, low-income single mothers make a commitment to completing a post-secondary education, launching a successful career and creating stability and prosperity for their children—all while living in our affordable, safe housing environment. For more information, call 701.361.3873, email fargomoorhead@jeremiahprogram. org or visit www.facebook.com/ JeremiahProgramFargoMoorhead. Up With Downs Supporting families of Down syndrome. For more information, contact Kara Jones, 701.446.8056 or karaljones@gmail.

Hands & Voices Hands & Voices is a non-profit, parent-driven organization dedicated to supporting families of children who are deaf or hard of hearing without bias around communication modes or methodology. What Works for your Child is What Makes the Choice Right™ Contact us for more information at 701.484.1605, contact@ndhandsandvoices.org, or visit www.ndhandsandvoices.org. Red River Moms Of Multiples 2nd Tuesday of each month. For more information visit wwww. rrvmothersofmultiples.weebly.com. Children's Consultation Network Provides access to early childhood mental health screening, assessment and consultation, develops and distributes children's mental health resources, provides community education, seeks to diminish stigma, and facilitates collaborative efforts related to children's mental health services, especially for children ages 0-8. For more information, 701.526.1565 or www.rvcscc.org. Gigi’s Playhouse A Down syndrome achievement center providing resources, specialized teaching, and support to individuals with Down syndrome, their families and the community. All programs are free. For more information, call 701.551.7529 or visit www. gigisplayhouse.org/fargo. Adults Adoption Special Kids [AASK] The AASK program is North Dakota's program providing adoption services to children in foster care and the families who adopt them. The program is a collaborative effort of Catholic Charities North Dakota and PATH ND, Inc. For more information, call 701.235.4457, email info@catholiccharitiesnd.org, or visit www.catholiccharitiesnd.org. Parent Professional Learning Network The Parent Professional Learning Network is a Parent Navigator Team with Family Voices of North Dakota offering an opportunity for parents of children with special needs and the professionals who work with them to come together to learn and grow. For more information email parentproflearningnetwork@ gmail.com. The Compassionate Friends 2nd Thursday of each month, 7:00pm at Faith Lutheran Church [127 2nd Ave E, West Fargo]. Offering

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

grief support after the death of a child. For more information email chapterleader@tcffargomoorhead. org, call 701.491.0364 or visit tcffargomoorhead.org/. Tender Transitions Every Tuesday and Friday from 1pm to 3pm at Essentia Health South University 6th Floor Conference Room. For all new moms in the FM area. For questions, call 701.364.8066. La Leche League of Fargo-Moorhead 2nd Thursday of each month at 7pm. For more information visit www. lllofmndas.org/fargo-moorhead.html. MOMS Club of Fargo/Moorhead IR, ND Provides monthly activities, playgroups, special projects, and support for local moms. This group is open to moms and their children in the F-M area. For more information contact momscluboffm@gmail. com or visit www.facebook.com/ MomsClubFargo. Harlynn’s Heart Providing multiple services, resources, and comforts to parents, families, and friends who have or will experience perinatal loss. For more information, visit www.harlynnsheart.org or email info@harlynnsheart.org. North Dakota Reading Corps The North Dakota Reading Corps is a regional initiative to help every child become a successful reader by the end of 3rd grade. The program places AmeriCorps members as literacy tutors in the Fargo, Jamestown, and West Fargo school districts to implement researched-based, early-literacy efforts to help struggling readers. All AmeriCorps members receive free training and work 1-on-1 with K-3 students. A living allowance is provided, dependent on amount of hours chosen to work (15-20 or 20-25 per week). Hours fall during school hours, run five days a week August – May, and must be on a set schedule. An education award is also available upon completion to pay qualified student loans or tuition expenses. For more information, visit www.ndseec.com/readingcorps or contact Jolene Garty at 701.446.3173 or gartyj@ndseec.com. Catholic Charities ND Counseling Professional and confidential counselors provide services to individuals, couples and families dealing with relationship issues, stress or anger management and a variety of other issues. We work with most insurances, EAP’s and have a sliding fee scale for those that don’t qualify for other resources. For more

information, call 701.235.4457, email info@catholiccharitiesnd.org, or visit www.catholiccharitiesnd.org. Child Asperger Support Group Every Tuesday from 12:00pm to 1:00pm at Olivet Lutheran Church [1303 S University Dr, Fargo]. For additional information visit www.rrvan.org Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Group Hospice of the Red River Valley [www.hrrv.org], in partnership with Harlynn’s Heart [www. harlynnsheart.org], offers an ongoing pregnancy and infant loss support group, meeting the fourth Tuesday of each month from 6:30pm-8pm at the Hospice of the Red River Valley [1701 38th St S, Fargo]. Please use the west door. This is an ongoing support group for anyone who has experienced the death of a baby through pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first year of life. The purpose of this group is to provide compassionate grief support, understanding, and resources to bereaved parents while allowing them to share their grief in a safe place with others who are experiencing a similar journey. This group is free and open to the public. For more information or questions, call 800.237.4629 and ask for the bereavement department. Marine Moms Support Group If you are the Mother of a Marine, [or any other branch of the military], then you are one of the family! Join other Marine Moms from Sub-Station Fargo [Sub-Station Fargo, ND covers west to Valley City, ND, east to New York Mills, MN, north to the Canadian Border & south to the South Dakota state line] once a month for: Support, Hugs, Advice, Praise, Tears, Love, Stories, Laughter, Inspiration, Encouragement, Experiences, Insight, Information, Motivation, Pictures & more at 1:30pm the 3rd Saturday of each month. For meeting location and more information contact Ruth Danuser at 701.799.8946 or ruthddanuser@ gmail.com. OORAH! Beyond the NICU Doors A community support network for parents who have experienced time in a NICU. Monthly gathering starting in September will be the 4th Tuesday from 7:00pm-8:30pm at the Anne Carlson Center located behind Subway on the corner of 13th Ave S and 25th St S in Fargo. Gatherings include a speaker and children are welcome as there are toys and space available. This is open to all NICU families regardless of

RESOURCES location of NICU experience. This is a cooperative effort between Region V Experienced Parent and March of dimes NICU Family Support. Any Questions please call Moe Schreoder at 701.237.3558 or Colette Christoffers at 701.235.5530

Rape & Abuse Crisis Center Crisis intervention, advocacy, and counseling services to all persons who have been victims of domestic violence or sexual abuse. Volunteer or donate. Call 701.293.7273 or visit www.raccfm.com

FM Autism Support Group 2nd Friday of each month from 7:00pm9:00pm at YMCA Downtown [401 1st Av S, Fargo]. For more information, visit www.facebook.com/FM-AutismSupport-Group-171027578792.

Rainbow Bridge Visitation & Safe Exchange Because of dedicated individuals who volunteer their time, Rainbow Bridge is able to meet the ever increasing visitation needs of our families. For more information visit www.rainbowbridgekids.net or call 218.512.1555.

DMF Lend A Hand Offers resources and matching funds to improve volunteer efforts that benefit people experiencing a medical crisis. Learn more about current efforts and/or to make a tax-deductible donation go to www.dakmed.org/lendahand. North Dakota Home School Association Providing information on the North Dakota home school law, contacts for area support groups, a free downloadable Home School Packet, convention information, the current statement of intent form, and thoughtful articles on various aspects of private, parent-directed home education. Visit www.homeschool-life.com/ nd/ndhsa for more information. Healthy Steps A health insurance program for North Dakota children age 18 or younger who do not have health insurance coverage, do not qualify or are not fully covered by the North Dakota Medicaid Program, and live in qualifying families. The benefits are offered at no or very low cost. For more information 877.543.7669 or www. healthystepsnd.com. HOPE, Inc. Provides a year-round sports and recreation program for children and young adults ages 2-23 with mobility challenges. We are family-centered and provide extra equipment so the ENTIRE family can play! Contact Adair at 701.866.9002 or adair@hopeinconline.org for more information or visit www. hopeinconline.org. Ronald McDonald House Charities of the Red River Valley, Inc. Provides lodging and emotional support to parents and siblings of children requiring medical treatment who also benefit by knowing their families are close by. Visit www.rmhcfargo. org for more information. Riding On Angels’ Wings Therapeutic horseback riding for children with disabilities. Volunteers are always welcome. Contact Bette Shipley - Felton, MN 701.793.5153 or www.ridingonangelswings.org

ALS Support 2nd Tuesday of each month those living with ALS and their loved ones share concerns and ideas about living with ALS. For more information call 701.235.1988. Eating Disorders Monthly Family & Friends Support Group If you have a loved one with an eating disorder, you are invited and encouraged to attend this support group dedicated to providing a comfortable, supportive, and confidential environment where you will be provided with information about eating disorders and tools to aid in your loved one’s recovery. This group is open to friends, parents, partners, caregivers and adult children. Registration: for more information, contact Kara Woodbury Fladland, LPCC 701.234.4111, or visit www. sanfordhealth.org/classesandevents/ ClassDetail/cb9a7533-e6f9-41cbb562-3a7c0fc46f45. FirstChoice Clinic Provides pregnancy confirmation and counseling, prenatal and parenting classes, community referrals to help individuals make life affirming choices. Call 701.237.5902 or visit www.firstchoiceclinic.com. Volunteer or donate at www.teamfirstchoiceclinic.com. Survivor of Suicide Loss 3rd Thursday of each month. Provide a safe, accepted and supportive environment and opportunity to talk openly. For more information contact Mary at 701.219.4110 or afspnd@gmail.com. Birthright Pregnancy testing, counseling, prenatal and parenting education, maternity and infant clothing, emergency supplies of diapers and formula and labor support. All services are free and confidential. To volunteer or donate contact 218.477.1977 or www.birthright.org. PATH of North Dakota An organization offering a more personalized approach to foster care. For more information www.pathinc.org or 701.293.9968.

Gluten Intolerance Group of Fargo/ Moorhead GIG of F/M holds gatherings for education, fellowship, and support for those living with Celiac Disease, Gluten Intolerance, or Gluten Sensitivity. You do not need to be a paid member of this group to attend any meetings. For more information, visit www.gluten.org/ localbranches/fargo-moorhead. Special Olympics Provides yearround sports training for all kids and adults with intellectual disabilities. To inquire about volunteering opportunities go to www.specialolympicsnorthdakota.org. FirstLink Provides telephone support including information and referral of local non-profits, listening and support, crisis intervention and suicide intervention 701.235.7335. MOMS Club of West Fargo Offers support, activities, and friendship for moms who work at home full or part time. For more information, visit www.facebook.com/ MOMSClubWestFargo or email momsclubofwf@yahoo.com South East Regional KIDS Program An Infant Development Service providing home-based family focused services at no cost to families having an eligible infant or toddler under the age of three. Call 701.446.3927 for more information. Experienced Parent Support Group Support and Resource to families who have a child that is active with the South East Regional KIDS Program. For more information please contact Moe Schroeder at 701.237.3558 or mrschroeder@nd.gov. Hospice An end-of-life care that provides comfort and support for patients and their families, Hospice also provides support groups for adults and children grieving the loss of a loved one. For more information or to make a donation, visit www.hrrv.org.

this mission because underneath everything we are, underneath everything we do, we are all people, connected, interdependent, united. Our Mission: United Way of CassClay brings people together to create lasting change that will improve lives. For more information visit www.uwcc.net. Basic Training for New Dads With an experienced dad leading the way, new dads discuss adjusting to fatherhood, what to expect from a newborn baby and how to support mom during this time. For more information visit www. essentiahealth.com. FM MOMSnext For moms of school aged children kindergarten to college to discuss various topics on parenting, motherhood and women ministries. Meet the 2nd Wednesday of the month at First United Methodist Church [906 1st Ave S, Fargo] from 6:00pm to 7:30pm. Children's programming also available at the same time and need not be a member of the Church to have your children involved. Contact 701.232.4416 or email fmmomsnext@hotmail.com for more information. North Dakota College Save A 529 college savings plan, including a matching grant for ND residents. For more information www.collegesave4u.com or 1.866.SAVE.529. MOPS [Mothers of Preschooler] A place to find friendship, community, resources and support for you as a woman and mother so you're not alone.

Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch Offers a year-round opportunity for volunteers [individuals, groups/ part-time, full-time] for its thrift stores. To volunteer call 701.277.9424.

• Olivet Lutheran Church [1330 S University Dr, Fargo] 1st & 3rd Thursday 9:00am to 11:00pm • First United Methodist Church [906 1st Ave S, Fargo] 1st & 3rd Thursday 9:15am to 11:15am • Heartland MOPS [1751 Main Ave E, West Fargo at Heartland Community Church] 2nd Thursday 6:00pm to 8:00pm • Atonement Lutheran Church [4601 University Dr S, Fargo] Every other Tuesday 9:00am to 11:00am. Meetings include brunch, speakers, crafts, discussion and service projects. First meeting free. For more info call 701.237.9651 or visit www.atonementmops.org. • Hope Lutheran Church [3636 25th St S, Fargo] 3rd Saturday 9:00am to 11:00am

United Way of Cass-Clay Our Goal: To make our community a better place to live, work and raise our families. We are driven by

Want to change or add information to this free Resource page? Email info@onthemindsofmoms.com.

Cullen Children’s Foundation Provide financial resources to organizations that support children’s healthcare needs, with an emphasis on cancer. For information on volunteering, being a part of a committee or to make a donation, visit www.cullyskids.com.

JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

READY, SET, GROW

Chief Content Officer Mary Jo Hotzler, Executive Editor of The Forum Matt Von Pinnon and Deputy Editor of The Forum Danielle Teigen all share advice gained through many Fargo winters.

n the Upper Midwest, the winter season can last for many months. Bone-chilling cold combined with very short days of sunlight can mean kids get restless easily and quickly. What are parents to do? Fortunately, we’ve assembled a list of great age-appropriate activities that will keep little minds and bodies occupied and happy while winter lingers outside.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

Keeping kids entertained indoors

JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

READY, SET, GROW

Keep inquiring minds learning by exposing them to different textures and opportunities to problem solve.

Wee ones [0–18 months]

Babies are highly curious and easily entertained, but their attention span can be short. Here are a few ideas to keep your wee one entertained when going outside just isn’t an option. Sensory bags Infants who can sit independently can be parked in front of a plastic bag filled with a variety of items that will engage their senses. Take a ziplock bag,

reinforce the three closed edges with heavy-duty tape (because infants pound on everything when they are excited), then fill the bag with things like hair gel or lotion, beads or smooth stones (especially ones you’d never want them to handle on their own), poms, etc. Close the top, then affix to the wall securely using painter’s tape (so you don’t damage your wall when you remove it). Watch as your little one explores the items in a safe, contained environment. Fabric fun With little children in the house, wipe containers are sure to be available. Take an empty container and fill it with random fabric scraps or washcloths and let your child pull them out. The activity exposes them to different textures but also helps develop fine motor skills if the wipe container has a button to push and lid that opens and closes. Bonus if your child figures out how to put the fabric back in and starts taking it all out again.

Babies are curious. Keep them entertained with simple DIY toys. | iStock / Special to The Forum

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

Discovery baskets Grab a laundry basket (with holes or openings), your child’s favorite toys and a ball of yarn, and you’ll have an activity that requires your growing infant to problem solve in order to get his or her things back. Put the toys in the basket then weave the yarn tightly throughout the basket’s holes, securing the ends well to keep the basket safe for your child. Watch as your infant figures out how to free all the toys you’ve trapped in the web. You can make this as simple or challenging as you want based on the amount and size of the objects you include.

Bring the outside in with a variety of activities that explore sensory experiences, sports and animals typically found in the great outdoors.

READY, SET, GROW

Tots

[18 months–3 years]

Make a fort Watch your child delight in the process of creating something new with items they see every day: blankets, pillows, couch cushions, chairs, etc. You’ll want to participate to make sure the fort is put together safely, and once you’re done, entertain your child further by joining him or her in the fort for some playtime or book reading.

Keep toddlers entertained by creating new spaces indoors with sights, sounds and sensory play. | iStock / Special to The Forum Toddlers may not understand why they can’t go outside every day during the winter season, so when your tots need something to do, why not bring the outdoors to them? You’ll engage their senses and give them a chance to put new skills to good use. Animal sound cards Kids this age are learning to talk and make connections between pictures and sounds. Encourage that development by printing out cards with animals on them so your child can practice the sound the animal makes. If you have two pictures of each animal, you can also play a game of memory/ concentration with your child while helping them learn animals and sounds.

Play ball Toddlers are curious about everything and they love to be active, so encourage your child’s gross motor skill development by rolling or throwing a ball between the two of you. You can even add more balls to the game to keep the activity interesting, or you could enlist others to join you (hello, big brothers and sisters). Make homemade snow dough Sensory play is a hit at this age, but tiny tots can also start creating and molding things with their little fingers and hands. Snow dough can be made using corn starch, vegetable oil and glitter, and it offers a completely different texture than things like PlayDoh, kinetic sand or salt dough. Once made, the dough can be molded into a form (a snowman, perhaps?) or played with loose for another level of sensory experience. This will get messy, so be sure to put down a drop cloth or sheet to keep the mess somewhat contained. You can find a recipe for snow dough at https://theimaginationtree.com/snowdough-recipe-for-winter-sensory/.

JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

READY, SET, GROW

Combine fun, learning and exercise with these easy-to-create activities to occupy little minds and bodies.

Preschoolers [3–5 years]

Kids who will be in school soon will love the opportunity to stay active when going outside to play may not be possible. The best part about these activities is that you can incorporate educational components in all of them if you want to, or keep them as simple, yet fun activities. Create an obstacle course What’s more exciting than an obstacle course? One you build yourself, of course! Grab play tunnels, tables, tape, pillows and thin, similarly sized books (you won’t mind getting stepped on) and start creating the course. Think about challenges that require your preschooler to complete them accurately rather than quickly to keep the activity safe and under control.

towel tube taped to a paper plate (that you didn’t cut the middle out of). If you have multiple preschoolers to entertain, have each player color his or her rings a specific shade to make the activity last even longer. Alphabet yoga Practice the ABCs and get a little exercise by having your preschooler grab a nap mat or towel, lay it on the floor, then create a yoga pose for each letter of the alphabet. You can find a list of actual yoga poses with the corresponding letter at https://www. pinkoatmeal.com/alphabet-yoga/ or you can have your preschool create his or her own pose for the individual letter.

Sight word treasure hunt Create or use flashcards with individual letters and hide them around the room. Have your preschooler search for all the letters and then see how many sight words (or choose specific ones to hide the letters of) he or she can create once they’ve all been located. You can make this activity more or less complicated by incorporating into the hunt whatever your child is working on, whether that is full sight words, or just numbers, letters or shapes. Ring toss Take a stack of paper plates and cut the center out so you have a pile of rings your preschooler can try to toss and land on an object. You can use a tall plastic bottle (unopened or filled with water and securely fastened) for the stand, or make one using a paper

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

Create an obstacle course for preschoolers to stay active with the use of fabric tunnels or cardboard boxes. | iStock / Special to The Forum Wee ones, tots and preschoolers story by | Danielle Teigen

When it’s cold outside this winter, heat things up inside the house by helping your kiddos learn how to bake.

READY, SET, GROW

Big kids [6–9 years]

Baking together is the perfect way to spend quality time this winter, and homemade cookies and treats won’t be so bad either. By the time a child is 7 or 8, they have enough fine motor skills and reading and math skills to be a real help in the kitchen. Annabel Karmel, who has written more than 40 books on cooking with children, notes that children of all ages can benefit, even if they are just doing simple things like cracking eggs or rolling dough. There are also additional benefits kids will get from this activity. • Karmel says: “As they weigh and measure ingredients, children are developing math skills without even realizing. They’re also learning life skills like how to follow recipes and use utensils properly.” • Involving children in their own food preparation has been linked to a direct increase in food awareness, consumption and personal confidence, according to recent research published by the Cambridge University Press. • Baking can be considered a science. By talking to your kids about what is happening to the food in the oven or what happens when you mix certain ingredients together — like oil and water — you are really teaching them about science. • Baking with your kids teaches great life skills. For example, patience. Kids today are used to instant gratification. That won’t work for baking, and it never hurts to re-inforce to your big kids

Challenge 6 to 9-year-olds to learn new skills like baking cookies. | iStock / Special to The Forum that it will all be worth the work and the wait. And finally, here a few suggested items to have on hand when in the kitchen with your kids this winter (thekitchn.com): • A sturdy step stool to help kids feel part of the action on the countertop. • Plastic bowls, which are lighter and easier to maneuver. • A tiny knife. Start younger cooks off with a serrated cake knife, which mimics the weight, shape and feel of a chef’s knife without the sharp edge. • A hand mixer. These are safer than stand mixers and as a bonus, hand mixers have two beaters for sharing.

Sources: Goodhousekeeping.com, thekitchn.com, Cambridge University Press.

JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

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Winter can be a time when pre-teens go a bit stir crazy, especially if you limit their screen time. The trick may be helping them use their time wisely.

Tweeners [10–12 years]

Parents know the harmful effects on our kids’ mental and physical health from too much time on the Internet or in front of the TV, but let’s face it: not all screen time is created equal. An hour-long session with “Call of Duty” isn’t quite the same as an hour on YouTube watching cat videos. If you need a place to start when you’re trying to figure out what’s age-appropriate, a great place is www.commonsensemedia.org. In fact, it’s suggested by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Furthermore, here’s a deal to consider making with your tween: One “bonus” hour of electronics time if that hour is spent on something educational. Or, perhaps there is another type of reward for trading

Add one hour of “bonus time” for electronics when they use it to play educational games. | iStock / Special to The Forum

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020

in one hour of their “fun” screen time for something more purposeful. • BrainPOP: This site offers tons of educational games and videos on subjects like social studies, math, science, art and history. • Prodigy: This engaging math game aligns with their age and grade-appropriate school curriculum and in fact is used in many of the public schools. • How Stuff Works: This website explains thousands of topics with video and illustrations. • ScienceBOB: Experiments, science fair ideas and cool videos. • TedEd: Pages of lessons built around TED talks in several categories.

Big kids and tweeners story by | Mary Jo Hotzler Sources: Todaysparent.com, datasciencedegreeprograms.net

Don’t let those brooding teens bring you down. Get them out of the house and active.

READY, SET, GROW

Teens [13–18years]

For teens, suggest low-cost activities like skating that will exercise the body and mind. | iStock / Special to The Forum Like adults, teens can feel a bit trapped during the winter months. Long nights, short days and brutal temps can create miserable people if we don’t make an attempt to stay active and social. For this reason, many teens watch or go to movies, attend sporting events or catch a play at area high schools or colleges, and they’re all good ways to prevent the winter blues. But there are many other local ways to exercise the body or mind: Here’s a non-exhaustive list: Free or low-cost: • Lace up the skates and enjoy one of the area’s indoor ice rinks. Fargo, Moorhead and West Fargo all have open skating times. Most sessions cost relatively little and a couple even offer rental skates for a buck or two. • Fargo: https://www.fargoparks.com/events/ indoor-ice-events.html Moorhead: http://cityofmoorhead.com/Home/ Components/News/News/4364/17?backlist=%2fd epartments%2fparks-recreation • West Fargo: https://www.wfparks.org/portfolio/ veterans-memorial-arena/ • Shoot some hoops. Fargo Public Schools in conjunction with the Fargo Park District offer

open gym time several days a week. West Fargo’s Rustad Recreation Center also offers open gym time for $3.25 per visit or $25 for a 10-visit punch card. • Fargo: https://www.fargoparks.com/events/ open-gym.html • West Fargo: https://www.wfparks.org/portfolio/ rustad-rec-center/ • Go for a swim. The Hulbert Aquatic Center in West Fargo offers occasional open swim sessions for a small fee. Fargo South High School in conjunction with the Fargo Park District also offers open swim times on Saturdays. West Fargo: https://www.west-fargo.k12.nd.us/ domain/2382 Fargo: https://www.fargoparks.com/facilitiesrecreation/fargo-south-high-school-indoor-pool.html Activities with cost: • Bowling • Escape rooms • Sky Zone trampoline park in Fargo • Skate City roller skating rink in Fargo • Thunder Road Family Fun Park, Fargo, which offers indoor games Fridays through Sundays and on school breaks during the cold months • Ninja courses in the area • Fargo Pinball Club, which will transport teens back to their parents’ era • Replay Games center, a community-supported video arcade in downtown Fargo • Plains Art Museum art-making classes Teen story by | Matt Von Pinnon

JANUARY • FEBRUARY 2020 | ON THE MINDS OF MOMS

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