When it comes to my last baby, I’m letting go of holding on
I
By Danielle Teigen
had my third and final baby one week before Christmas 2019. My husband and I already had a son and daughter, so we opted not to find out the sex of our last baby until the birth. And when he was placed in my arms just seconds after the doctor announced, “It’s a boy!”, I knew immediately our family was complete. Our first two weeks at home as a family of five were blurry and chaotic, thanks to the holidays and upended schedules and family visits and older siblings with too much sugar and too little sleep. Once our schedules normalized, my new baby and I settled into a new routine with just the two of us, and maternity leave started to pass in a dreamy, relaxing haze of baby snuggles and Netflix binging. Then, the pandemic.
The following months were hands down the most stressful of my adult life, but we weathered the lockdown, toddler tantrums, two parents working full time from home, teething, distance learning, sleep regressions, moving to a new state, and much more with (I hope) few lasting, psychological scars for all of us.
I can distinctly remember the moments I sat rocking him, realizing acutely that no matter how quickly the world outside our house seemed to be spiraling out of control, I was exactly where I needed to be.
On March 12, I watched news broadcasts with increasing anxiety about this new “global pandemic” the Centers for Disease Control and 12
Prevention had just declared, thanks to this “novel coronavirus” sweeping the world. The next day, I picked up my older kids at daycare, completely unaware that two days later North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum would close schools indefinitely and my husband and I would elect to keep both kids at home out of fear of exposing our infant’s undeveloped immune system to a strange virus.
ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | DECEMBER • JANUARY 2021
As I look back on this crazy first year of my last baby’s life, I can’t help but feel grateful and a bit in awe of everything this tiny baby taught me.
Because in the depths of our struggles and stress, I can distinctly remember the moments I sat rocking him, realizing acutely that no matter how quickly the world outside our house seemed to be spiraling out of control, I was exactly where I needed to be. His presence
