Opening Doors London Quarterly 7 Autumn 2014

A magazine by and for the older LGBT+ community

The Gender Issue

Autumn 2014

What does gender mean to you?

ODL is supported by

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Gender?

Where do we start ? We’ve had lively discussions at Quarterly meetings. Gender has been central to discussions, debates and disagreements over the last 40+ years of LGBT politics and the women’s movement but what do we mean by gender?

Gender means much more than the biological/ anatomical sex we are assigned at birth. It was in 1949 that Simone de Beauvoir wrote, ‘One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman,’ and we can add, or a man. Most of us grew up with clearly defined (and probably for many ODL members) rigid ideas of how we should be as a girl or a boy, as a woman or a man – ideas which were shaped and defined by the culture we grew up in. It was usually at around puberty that the unwritten laws came most forcibly in to play – women don’t do that, men should do this – no wonder puberty can be so confusing.

We don’t have the answers but hope you enjoy reading the interviews and articles we have put together for this issue and that they inform as well as entertain.

Trans and Ageing Nicky L. Stones raises questions about the many issues facing the trans community as they age.

I'm a 70 year-­‐old transperson now living in Edinburgh. I lived in Somerset before then and used to attend the FtM London meetings occasionally. Now it's impossible because of distance.

From the age of four I felt I was or wanted to be a boy/man, although I've become more gender fluid and androgynous in my thinking. I was one of a handful of FtMs who in the late 60s, early 70s met in London, feeling very isolated with low visibility of our numbers and a predominance of transvestites and MtF transsexuals. The Gender Identity Clinic was very rigid in deciding who could receive hormones and possible gender surgery. Over the years I've lived in many places and been to many transgender workshops and conferences and watched the numbers of FtMs snowball; the help and knowledge available now is phenomenal if not perfect.

related to getting old and we invite representatives from various organisations to explain what they're doing, and whether they've considered LGBT issues. We educate them about specific needs so that we are included and not discriminated against. The Capacity Building Project will continue with a slightly different role and is planning to train Community Champions to speak and give presentations to service providers. I'm the only FtM, and I raise issues which otherwise may get left out or not thought about, and there's also one transwoman.

LGBT Health in Edinburgh runs an LGBT Age 50+ group; in July the group became LGBT Age Scotland and re-­‐launched with new staff, based in Glasgow. It will expand its services across Greater Glasgow and the Lothians, besides its base in Edinburgh. The Age 50+ group have monthly social activities. There is an Age Reference Group where we discuss issues 2 ODL Quarterly – Autumn 2014

At a recent Reference Group meeting we were discussing with Pride Scotland what older LGBT people experienced in the past, how they feel now and whether they would or wouldn't want to take part. Some members, including myself, said that standing and being on a long march was now putting them off, so we talked about wheelchair access, hiring taxis or a minibus. Also there weren't so many older people attending Pride and they found it hard relating to younger participants and feeling included.

The Edinburgh group Transmen Scotland meet monthly, but although we have a good membership it's hard to get members to attend regularly, however there is a very active LGBT Youth group which is encouraging. Occasionally the Youth and Age 50+ group meet up for a

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© Nicky L Stones social or discussion which both parties find informative. There is only a handful of FtMs over 60. One or two older than me who used to attend meetings are now no longer around. However, in 20 or 30 years I can see the numbers of transpeople reaching 60 will increase substantially. They will be expecting to receive care, comfort and acceptance during their last years of life, especially if they are single. For instance if an older transman needs to go into a care-­‐home or hospital will the staff have any experience of looking after and caring for them? or an intersex/androgynous person whose gender ID can shift daily? Have the staff thought about privacy for those who've had surgery or are taking testosterone? and how they'll help with washing, dressing and toiletry needs? What if the elderly 'man' has dementia and reverts back to behaving and talking as though they were female? Will the transperson be bullied or ridiculed and encounter transphobia?

There comes of course the inevitable dying. What, if any, arrangement has the FtM made? Have they made a Will? What is their relationship with their family? Are they loved or rejected? Has the person pre-­‐thought about their burial or cremation? One’s death -­‐ the thought so often put off as a distant event sometime in the hazy future, as one begins to age or become ill, suddenly becomes a reality to be faced.

LGBT Health & Wellbeing Edinburgh: http://www.lgbthealth.org.uk/ LGBT Age Scotland: glasgow@lgbthealth.org.uk Transmen Scotland: transmenscotland.wordpress.com The Scottish Transgender Alliance/Equality Network: http://www.scottishtrans.org/ FtM London http://www.ftmlondon.org.uk Translondon: http: www.translondon.org.uk Gendered Intelligence http://genderedintelligence.co.uk CliniQ (health and well being for Trans people): http://www.cliniq.org.uk

Opening Doors London (ODL) – www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk

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Growing Up Lesbian in Uganda

A 62 year old ODL member looks back.

I’m from a family of fourteen children, I was number six of seven boys and seven girls. Growing up I was very very active, playing football, climbing trees, getting mangos and whatever -­‐ like a boy -­‐ actually they used to call me tomboy. As I was growing up we had roles. But in Africa boys do nothing, everything is done by girls. Boys don’t cook, they fetch water because we were privileged to come from an enlightened family and my mother was protective of the girls, she couldn’t send us out, so the boys would fetch water, they would fetch firewood. Most of the times we had to help my Mum.

When I was at boarding school I found that I was attracted to girls. When I was 14 there was a senior who was 16, it was a mutual attraction, she was head girl and she started to give me gifts and eventually things worked out.

My parents are church people of the Church of Uganda which is affiliated to the Church of England. My Father is a retired Reverend, my Mum was a member of the Mothers Union of the parish. The schools I went to were church schools, strictly for girls. I had a secondary education and I trained as a nurse midwife. We had career guidance at school but you were expected to get married and your parents would organise your marriage.

It’s hard to talk about LGBT in Uganda as it was undercover and you wouldn’t know how people were behaving apart from yourself. I knew lesbians internationally because of my work, but not in Uganda, and you didn’t trust anybody apart from your partner. I had long relationships, five years and twelve years. They were secret, we pretended and our families were close, our children would play together, and our husbands were friends. We could be together on international trips or if we had workshops outside Kampala. In 2003 after 23 years of marriage I moved out of home. I didn’t want to leave when my children were young.

After I started my periods I stopped climbing trees. Your Mum would tell you there are things you shouldn’t do -­‐ don’t climb trees, don’t ride a bicycle. You become self conscious. My brothers beat me up, I couldn’t stop them or tell my mum. To be frank I didn’t want anything to do with boys.

My parents are still with us, my Mum is 89 and my Dad is 94. I talked to them this morning. I miss them. They couldn’t believe I was a lesbian, they knew about it when I had come [to England] but they didn’t know it before, everything was under cover. But when I didn’t go back they knew about it, the husband of my partner talked and then the police were looking for me, and my husband, my parents came to know and my children.

Uganda Pride was celebrated in Entebbe, Uganda on Saturday 9 August – an invitation only event for 100 people was the first opportunity to meet openly after a draconian anti-­‐gay law was rejected by judges. Homosexuality remains illegal but it is no longer illegal to promote homosexuality and Ugandans are no longer obliged to denounce gays to the authorities. Sadly there are fears that the law will be returned to the statute book.

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ODL Quarterly – Autumn 2014

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Better Off with a Boyfriend A member looks back on being gay in post-­‐war Britain and reveals his creative side.

different. This attitude helped him through life and the family got to know the situation.

Charles is a 78 year old gay white British male who was born in the Midlands and moved to London in 1963. At school, Charles was teased for being different and other boys used to lock him in the toilet as a punishment because he preferred to play with girls and didn’t want to get involved in football. He preferred rounders and, because of this, other boys called him a sissy.

When he turned 16 in 1950, Charles went to work as a hotel waiter and laughs as he recalls being chased around a table by the head waiter much to the amusement of his workmates. There was frequent gay banter in the workplace and he met several partners while working in catering. At the same time, he began to go dancing and remembered that, ‘we had to go with girls but it didn’t work’.

A male friend of his mother’s came to visit one day and she told Charles that the man ‘dresses a bit like Quentin Crisp’ and that he was ‘one of those’. Charles already realised that he was different to other boys and took an interest in the visitor, wanting to know more about him and what it meant to be ‘one of those’. He was always closest to his mother and helped her around the house with domestic tasks. He liked to secretly dress up in his mother’s clothes in her bedroom and believes this nurtured his feminine side.

On moving to London, Charles frequented gay venues including the Two Brewers, the Coleherne and the Boltons. He worked in a hospital where he made gay friends. His interest in drama took him to the stage. Having joined an amateur dramatics company, he played a female part in a musical called No No Nannette because he had ‘a very unusual voice’. He was delighted to play the role and said that ‘playing a female didn’t bother me at all . . . they [the audience] loved it’.

When he was eight, Charles dressed up in a woman’s apron, hat and feather duster and came down one morning to his grandfather’s shop to serve customers. At around the same time, his grandmother remarked that ‘you’re better off with a boyfriend’, suggesting others had already started to pick up on Charles being

Charles considers himself fortunate as he never experienced overt or verbal victimisation as an adult growing up in post-­‐war London. He believes the language other people used around him was generally supportive of his lifestyle and his self-­‐perceptions as a gay older man living in London appear to have remained fairly consistent throughout his life.

© www. mitteleuropa Opening Doors London (ODL) – www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk 5

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Gender Lynne Segal writes on the history and development of ideas on gender

Gender’ remains one of the most controversial terms we have. It is still seen as the heart of identity, yet is endlessly contested: is it a girl? or a boy? we still ask of the new baby, as if this will determine the fate of the child. In many ways, it still does, for however rightly contested, gender still finds cunning ways of embedding itself anew.

No sooner were scientists classifying these ‘proper’ contrasts between men and women (physical, sexual, psychological) than sexual variations, or ‘aberrations’, leapt out at every turn. With no notion of gender separate from biological sex, and with sex in its ‘natural’ manifestation directed towards reproduction, the existence of sexual variations, especially homosexuality, was attributed to the existence of a ‘third’ or ‘intermediate sex’.

It was in the late nineteenth century that contemporary notions of gender started to develop. These rested upon the idea, if never the reality, of separate spheres for men and women, with their presumed psychological differences: man’s independence, labour and leadership outside the home establishing his authority within the family; the bourgeois wife’s gentle, nurturing, spiritual ways exemplifying woman’s place by the hearth. Before this, sexual differences were seen to vary more as matters of degree rather than in kind.

“the importance of distinguishing ‘sex’, in the biological sense of anatomical difference, from ‘gender identity’ as a psychological category and from ‘gender role’ as an expected form of social behaviour.” It was the German sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld, who suggested that there were almost infinite forms of ‘sexual intermediaries’, as everybody was to some degree biologically transgendered or bisexual. This led him to argue that not only were there no pure forms of masculinity or femininity, but that counting up all the possible variations – ranging from the ‘womanly woman’ to the ‘manly man’ – produced over 43 million specific variations in sexual proclivities! In his own way, Freud tended to agree, and the changeable nature of sexual difference quickly proved a prominent feature in his writing and practice.

However, just when these ideas of sexual difference took hold, there were already rising anxieties over the place and nature of men and women. The rise of first wave feminism was seen as putting manhood in danger, the masculine woman (those seeking education or the right to vote) was seen to undermine sexual difference.

Meanwhile, the impact of Darwin on the medical sciences, alongside the newly emerging field of sexology, was mostly understood as supporting ‘the divergent evolution of the sexes’, again males as active and aggressive; females as more passive and conservative. Furthermore, Darwin’s support of ideas of sexual difference merged with racist views of the day to declare African, Asian and Jewish bodies less sexually different than that of the Aryan, and hence more degenerate. Male and female identities were one’s biological fate, as was racial hierarchy.

Yet the move to cultural understandings of gender identity would only be consolidated once ‘gender’ came to be used as separate from anatomical sex in the late 1960s, although the discussion is far from concluded. Robert Stoller, a psychoanalytically trained Californian psychiatrist drew upon his work with transsexuals to argue the importance of distinguishing ‘sex’, in the biological sense of anatomical difference, from ‘gender identity’ as a psychological category and from ‘gender role’ as an expected form of social behaviour. However, the real explosion of interest in

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gender occurred along with the birth of second wave feminism, also at the close of the 60s. ‘Gender’, for most feminists, referred to the acquired, culturally diverse, hence changeable ways of becoming a woman – or a man. However, with manhood already the designation for humanity, it was women, rather than men, who were the sex apparently marked out by their gender, their ‘femininity’ differentiating them from the basic model.

From the beginning, ‘gender’ was used in at least four overlapping ways: to refer to distinctive personal attributes, especially those associated with women and ‘femininity’; to cultural processes operating in the acquisition of such attributes; to language and the different value of gender-­‐related terms; and to the hierarchical power relations maintaining men overall as the dominant sex. For many feminists, it was something to be smashed, for others the ‘feminine’ needed reclaiming, and reaffirming. I leave you to decide. -­‐ Lynne Segal

You ask about role-­‐models, but when I was growing up (I was born in 1926) I couldn’t find any. At that period there were only two available roles for gay men, pansy (à la Larry Grayson) or dirty old man, and I didn’t find either acceptable. So I had to build myself largely from scratch, which was tough at the time, though I don’t now regret it as it has made me emotionally strong and self-­‐reliant.

As a child I climbed trees and rode my bicycle. Then there was a strange dislocated time when despite working as a theatre sound and lighting technician I tried to fit in to an idea of being feminine, a woman, as I hauled equipment around. Now I’m 66, and lucky enough to still ride my bike and climb trees.

© David Shenton. David runs a Facebook page, These Foolish Things, where he publishes a cartoon each week: https://www.facebook.com/dscomics2 Opening Doors London (ODL) – www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk 7

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A slice of trans gender queer life An excerpt from an oral history interview with Luc Raesmith first published in Queer in Brighton.

“I’m 53 now, going on about 15! I think of myself as a transgender queer person. I have been transitioning as an out androgyne for the last five years. When you first met me I would have identified probably as a lesbian bisexual, in that order. I don’t think I ever used the word queer for myself. I’ve used lesbian, I have never called myself gay or dyke.

As a transgender person and particularly as a person who’s being out as non-­‐binary gendered, I think of myself as dual gendered. I’ve been calling myself electively hermaphroditic. I don’t see myself as either male or female, I’m just a conglomeration. I’m a person. Person would be my preferred term really.

life that’s queer in terms of gender spectrum now. I don’t really see myself as fitting on the sexuality spectrum as anything in particular. I guess I would have to be theoretically pansexual in that I could be interested and attracted to trans*1 people as well as cisgendered2 people. But that’s a relatively new term. Really I’m electively asexual. So the sexuality isn’t really my issue in a sense.

Sometimes I say andro, as a way of saying what could be the equivalent of being a guy or a gal. But people are reluctant to take up that language – certainly, when I had to write to all the official bodies to change my title to ‘Mx’ and change my name officially to Luce. I was christened as Lucy and I’ve always liked that name. From a teenager I was called Luce by my friends. So when I started to transition it didn’t make sense to have a new name. I wasn’t going through some new phase. I’ve always been Luce. I’ve always been this androgyne person. It just took me until I was age 40 to realize it because there was just no role model. There was no language within society for me to equate to.

But part of my journey was a bisexual history and that was normal to both the fact that I was both male/female and now it’s questionable which part of me was having a relationship with who, when I was with a man or a woman. Really I like to think of it as somebody who was having a relationship with a person, with individuals, and the gender and the sexuality weren’t that important to me emotionally.

The personal is always political with me now. Every day I have to explain to people about my gender. I have to correct titles. I have to correct the way they address me. Am I a sir? Am I a madam? Am I a lady? Am I a man? You know, I don’t really have any choice to hide away in the shadows. I’m one of the few people who is outside of the transexual binary selection, if you like, and who is receiving medical treatment, is on hormones and has been given surgery. So yes, blazing trails in some respects.”

1 trans*: recently-­‐adopted term, trans 'star' replaces

As a teenager I felt naturally bisexual but even in the early seventies nobody talked about bisexual. It wasn’t common parlance. I’d grown up in the sixties, nobody even talked about heterosexuality then, and homosexuality was pretty much illegal. So the language has really shifted. I am living a queer life but I’m living a 8 ODL Quarterly – Autumn 2014

trans/transgender usage as an all-­‐inclusive umbrella term; the asterisk does not imply explanatory footnote. 2 cisgendered: individuals who have a match between the gender they were assigned at birth, their bodies, and their personal identity. Queer in Brighton ed. Maria Jastrzębska & Anthony Luvera, pub New W riting South et al. Photos © Luc Raesmith

Transgender Policies in Iran Whilst Iranian law strongly dictates that homosexual relationships are illegal and punishable by death, it may be surprising to know that Iran also carries out the largest number of sex change operations in the world, with the exception of Thailand.

Although appearing progressive, this increase of sex reassignment surgery in Iran is driven by a disturbing, homophobic threat that, as a gay man, this is the only option available over the death penalty.

Whether or not an individual faces the death penalty for being lesbian or gay, the physical and mental persecution and social isolation remains endemic. Afraid for their life and unable to endure societal and governmental persecution, religious opprobrium and familial disapproval, many gay Iranian men are being encouraged or pressured into having sex reassignment surgeries. The procedure, described by one Islamic cleric as being simple as "changing wheat to flour to bread," is justified by the Iranian government (which subsidises some if not all the costs of surgery) on the basis that it allows gay men to classify their condition as medical instead of an unnatural "sin" going against Islamic tenets.

According to the same cleric, "the Islamic community has discovered a cure for people suffering from this problem. If they want to change their gender, the path is open."

Maria Kari http://rabble.ca/news/2013/03/repression-­‐homophobia-­‐and-­‐transgender-­‐policies-­‐iran; Other Useful Sources on Transgender Issues in Iran:

Be Like Others (also known as Transsexual in Iran) is a 2008 documentary film written and directed by Tanaz Eshaghian about transsexuals in Iran. It explores issues of gender and sexual identity while following the personal stories of some of the patients at a Tehran gender reassignment clinic.

Facing Mirrors is a 2011 German/ Iranian narrative film and the feature debut of director Negar Azarbayjani. The award-­‐winning film is the story of an unlikely and daring friendship that develops between a desperate woman and a transgender man, despite social norms and religious beliefs. It is also the first Iranian film to feature a transgendered character.

The organisation International Lesbian, Gay, Trans and Intersex Association (known as Trans in Iran) also features more information http://ilga.org/ilga/en/article/ozLDIFw1rr

Opening Doors London (ODL) – www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk

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Fundraising: Good News!

For a change we have some good news to share: three of our current funders have awarded ODL continuation funding. The Trust for London has granted £60,000 to continue ODL’s policy and campaigns work for the next two years and the City Bridge Trust has awarded a grant of £75,000 over two years to support the overall service delivery. We’ve also just heard that we’ve been awarded over £100,000 of Lottery funding from 2015 to tackle social isolation in the older LGBT community over a five year period. We’re extremely grateful for all of this continued support – THANK YOU!

In addition to this brilliant news, ODL has also been left a legacy of £20,000 in the will of an older gay man who recently passed away. We’d also like to say a huge thank you to the Hackney Women’s Football Club for donating all the funds they raised from their recent charity football match to ODL and the Albert Kennedy Trust. Both charities received cheques of over £500, which is wonderful.

All this plus our on-­‐ going Sir Derek Jacobi appeal, the Raise a Glass appeal and other great smaller scale fundraising efforts mean that the service is now on track to be fully funded for the current financial year. There’s still a small shortfall which we need to fill, but our major challenge is now to sustain the existing service through 2015, where we face a significant funding gap. We also need to expand the service to meet the increasing demands from older LGBT people and communities across the capital, especially those living south of the Thames.

Can we also send a massive thanks to one of our members, Garry, who raised over £700 by completing a marathon walk from London to Brighton in aid of ODL. Thank you so much, Garry − you're a star and we're very, very proud of you! The picture shows the Men's Development Co-­‐ordinator, Nick, presenting him with his certificate.

So, if anyone else is interested in undertaking a fundraising challenge for ODL, then please get in touch: in the charity sector we can never take our eye off the ball as far as raising funds is concerned. And please keep promoting the essential work that ODL delivers day in and day out, while if there is anyone out there who wants to know more about how they can help us, please put them in contact with our fundraiser: tom.blackie@ageukcamden.org.uk

To donate to Opening Doors London please visit: http://openingdoorslondon.org.uk

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On the dance floor Mixing up the gender roles in ballroom dancing – tango dancer Margaret talks to us about the pleasures of both leading and following at Queer Tango (where you don't have to be 'queer' or young).

What is Queer Tango? Well to quote wikipedia, 'a new way to dance Argentine Tango free from traditional heteronormative codes'

Mm I think I know what that means...how did you © Oskar Marchock get involved ? I love dancing and it's always been a big part of me to dance. But I'm not the sort of person to sit my life. I've been dancing in nightclubs for and wait so I would ask men to dance, most of many years, usually three times a week. them didn't like it and the rejection hurt; I also That wasn't ballroom dancing was it? asked women, some refused but some were No, the joy of nightclubs was one could just very happy to dance. Then I discovered Queer dance and as a woman you didn't have to wait Tango and it's been terrific, nobody sits and for someone to ask you to dance. Actually my waits, everyone dances and goes home first experience of ballroom dancing was exhausted but happy. Now I can lead and follow horrible -­‐ in my late teens I went to a dance with both men and women, and moreover I can with my mother and was appalled at how the swap roles within a dance. women waited to be asked to dance and were In partner dancing what's different from my eyed up by the men as if it was a cattle market. former nightclub days is touch and trust, one So how did you get into tango after being totally needs to be able to be very physically close to put off ballroom dancing as a teenager? ones partner and this can take some getting Well I was dancing at nightclubs into my 40's used to. But there's so much pleasure in dancing and nobody else was over 25! By the time I was the tango, always new things to learn, and I've fifty I decided I couldn't continue clubbing so I met wonderful people and found the joy of both looked for an alternative. I tried an Argentine taking the lead and following another. Tango class and I was hooked. Initially I learned the woman's role and followed but at a milonga Note: Argentine Tango is not the same as (dance) I was expected to wait for a man to ask ballroom tango, Argentine is technical but improvised, and is all about the connection between the dancers.

There are Queer Tango groups all over the world, in London see http://www.queertangolondon.com or phone Tim Flynn 07967 137448; Facebook closed group, https://www.facebook.com/groups/QTL ondon/

© Oskar Marchock

Opening Doors London (ODL) – www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk 11

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Out of Time: The Pleasures and Perils of Ageing Lynne Segal has always been one of our most engaging socialist feminist thinkers, and one of the pleasures of ageing, is to have been able to read her many thought-­‐provoking books over the last thirty years. In Out of Time, she turns her attention to the psychology and politics of ageing, challenging readers to “think more imaginatively” about their own experiences getting older. Some of these experiences, as most of us know, have to do with society’s low opinion of the elderly; some have to do with grief, illness, and diminished expectations; many have to do with joy and friendship; and some have to do with our own fluctuating sense of time. As Segal points out in her first chapter, How Old Am I? “Ageing is neither simply linear, nor is it any single discrete process when, in our minds, we race around, moving seamlessly between childhood, old age, and back again.” Segal draws on a range of sources to frame her questions, arguments, and suggestions -­‐ not for how to pretend that ageing doesn’t matter -­‐ but for how we can respond creatively, emotionally, and sometimes by political action to become elders in societies that don’t value old age and, in fact, are frightened/disgusted by it. Segal includes a variety of lesbian and gay voices who’ve spoken out about the ageing experience in the LGBT community: Barbara MacDonald, Cynthia Rich, and Joan Nestle. If the book has any fault at all, it’s that the subject is so vast and under-­‐described in current literature that Segal may try to cover too much. It’s an ambition that should, however, be applauded.

I thought differently – with more wonder, curiosity, and righteous political passion – about my own ageing and that of my community after reading this book. I suspect most readers will as well.

Barbara Sjoholm Out of Time: The Pleasures and the Perils of Ageing by Lynne Segal £9.99 or £5.99 direct from publisher, Verso, 2013.

Barbara Sjoholm is the American author of many books, including The Pirate Queen: In Search of Grace O’Malley and other Legendary Women of the Sea. Under the name Barbara Wilson she wrote two of the first lesbian mystery series. All seven of these titles were recently released as e-­‐books by Open Road Media. www.barbarasjoholm.com

Pride: the film Set during the long and fierce strike by the National Union of Mineworkers in 1984, Pride tells the story of the lesbian and gay activists who set about raising money to support the families of striking British miners. Played as a culture clash comedy – the Welsh mining community and the London gay politicos, it is an intense and funny drama, almost documentary at times, which takes those of us who were around, and maybe involved, hurtling in a vivid journey in to our past. It is a moving history of LGBT (it wasn’t called that then) activism and political dialogue and it’s fun too, not just for those who were around in 1984. 12 ODL Quarterly – Autumn 2014

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RUFF: a solo performance by Peggy Shaw How amazing to see an older lesbian, late 60s, performing a solo show that has her audience riveted; a woman who has survived a stroke which left holes in her memory. She is out there and she is magnificent.

In the packed audiences that Ruff attracted, there would have been many friends in her huge following who, knowing of Peggy’s stroke, may have had their hearts in their mouths. If so they needn’t have worried, Peggy’s towering presence and a lifetime’s theatre experience carries her through the entire show with the same wit and surreal references which framed her life before the stroke; together with an interaction with technology, the script is written on screens which Peggy wheels around as needed, that lends different layers of meaning to her performance.

rendering of classics, most memorably her version of Jacque Brel’s “Jackie”, and a duet with Leonard Cohen “I’m Your Man”. The screen itself is symbolic of what she calls “Green Screening”, the process whereby she is able to re-­‐populate her memory gaps with new thoughts and this works to good effect in a performance which is simultaneously joyful, crazy and dead serious.

Death, hope and the insanity of life are present throughout. Peggy may have lost some of her memory along with some of the precious individuals who lived there, but she has not lost any of her transgressive, queer identity. Her performance makes you want to value the people you care about and delight in every minute you have left in this world.

Ruff written by Peggy Shaw & Lois Weaver, The show opens with something many of us will directed by Lois Weaver performed by Peggy Shaw at the Wellcome Trust. recognize, Peggy’s story of bargaining on her knees that if she gets through the stroke she will More information at: www.facebook.com/splitbritches “stop wearing suits”, “will get married”, “will -­‐ Jean Fraser take antidepressants”, in effect renounce all those things which make this butch, gender-­‐ fucking woman who she is. Near the beginning of the piece Peggy attributes her stroke to the hugely influential Ellen Stewart, founder of La Mama theatre in New York; it happened the day after Ellen’s funeral and Peggy “dreamt she was pulling me down because she was lonely, her desire was that strong”. This sets up an absurdist tone which she uses to expose her new vulnerability through a series of wisecracks and anecdotes all delivered without self pity or sentimentality.

Ruff pays tribute to Peggy’s role models and the characters who have inhabited her psyche much of her life. The play’s facebook page describes Peggy’s post-­‐stroke realisation that with so much internal company she had never really performed solo. The play is a tribute to the ones who are still with her, and a lament for those who have disappeared within the black holes of her memory, and, finally, yet more who have truly died. Her band is projected on a green screen and accompanies Peggy’s fabulous Opening Doors London (ODL) – www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk 13

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Freedom and Persecution: Growing up Gay in Italy While there have been significant strides made for LGBT individuals in the UK, sadly the same can’t always be said for some of our European neighbours. Equal legislation is one thing, but changing community attitudes can be a more difficult and painful process. In this extract from a story from one of the leading mainstream Italian weekly magazines, we’re given an insight into the homophobia that pervades sections of Italian society.

clinics offering a “cure” for gayness still functioning. Near Bresica there is the Regina della Pace Centre run by the Church which does exactly that.

Federico is a volunteer on the Rome gay helpline. He spends around ten hours a week answering calls for help. 42% of the lesbians and gay men who ring are under 30. Of those, three per cent are minors and still at school and 22% are at university. “Almost half of them don’t have the courage to tell us their name, let alone report any physical abuse to the police”, explains Federico. This is the hidden world of homophobia at school; a much more widely diffused phenomenon than is acknowledged.

Federico, 20, from Genoa was nearly sent there, having told his mother he had fallen in love with a boy. “She was shocked but I would never have dreamed that she would have got in touch with a priest. He told her about a place where they could cure me, think of that! I threatened to go to the police,” he said. Federico couldn’t stand the atmosphere at home anymore, so he decided to leave; his parents then told him never to come back and that they wouldn’t support him any longer.

Typically, institutions recognise issues too late, usually only when someone decides to end it all after unbearable insults. The most recent episode received widespread coverage across television and newspapers, but nothing has been changed.

Following these national news stories, more people got in touch with the line, including Marco, aged 16, “Since word went around that I was gay, I’ve been ostracised by my classmates and the other friends I had”, he told L’Espresso. “First it was giggles and insults, then they started knocking me about. I didn’t tell anyone because I’m ashamed. I haven’t even told my parents and I feel so isolated.”

That decisive action is something that Enrico, aged 71, never got to experience. Fifty years ago his mother became aware of his homosexuality and forced him to live a segregated life at home. “I didn’t have Federico’s strength or stamina and I lived with my mother for a half-­‐century, me and her, her and me. God, when I think of it, I have been deprived of my life! Now she is dead and I feel dead too. I have no friends and have never expressed my sexuality, except in an anonymous way. I haven’t lived,” says the pensioner. However, he did come out a few months ago, when initially he thought that would be impossible. “It made me feel liberated to speak of myself as a homosexual, breathe freely, and be where I wanted to be. A force has flowed up in me, something that will let me live these few years that are left dedicated to helping other people.” Within a few weeks he had met other older gay people like himself. And his life has changed.

Sometimes the help is worse than discrimination. In spite of the now liberal official line, “cure” treatment by doctors and psychological associations are still offered with

Extract taken from “Non siete uomini, siete froci” by Tomasso Cerno, originally published in L’Espresso, 11th September 2013. Translated by Sarah Montagu.

NEED HELP IN LONDON? 14 ODL Quarterly – Autumn 2014

London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard Phone: 0300 330 0630 (10am to 11pm) On-­‐Line Chat via website: www.llgs.org.uk Email: chris@llgs.org.uk Online Database: www.turingnetwork.org.uk

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Bona Latties: National Older LGBT Housing Network Conference, London June 2014 The conference, organised jointly by Stonewall Housing, Opening Doors London, Age UK and Rainbow Hamlets attracted high profile speakers, including Peter Tatchell, James Greenshields (Rainbow Life Project) and Baroness Liz Barker.

The main finding of the conference was the fact that the residential and care home population continues to experience homophobia, the like of which is rarely seen in Britain today, forcing many to go back into the closet at a time in life when a safe environment is perhaps most needed. Various projects flounder because funding agencies want to have evidence gathered from reliable research to build a strong business case for LGBT housing initiatives for this client group. The conference highlighted the need for more research and the importance of training and

standards, all of which need to be co-­‐ordinated so that information is shared by all interested parties and a clear direction mapped out for the future. Until Housing Associations and other providers have accurate figures that make business sense, they are unlikely to make more effort to attract LGBT customers. In Holland, a research culture has led to the creation of training, standards and national recognition for care institutions which demonstrate a climate of acceptance towards LGBT residents. This has now become self-­‐ funding with care homes opting to buy into the national scheme. They have also assisted a group in Germany and have indicated their readiness to step in to support developments in England.

Further details: http://www.stonewallhousing.org/insights/cat egory/older-­‐LGBT-­‐housing.html

Hermaphroditus: an androgynous Greek god.

Your ODL Quarterly

We are still waiting for feedback on ODL Q from members and readers, fortunately we are not holding our breath! So, for ODL Q8, the winter issue, we will be coming out to talk to you! Q8 will be an issue all about ODL, the members, the activities, what we want from ODL and what we, as members and volunteers, can contribute. Do write in with your ideas and opinions! Deadline: Monday 10th November.

This issue of ODL Q was put together by Adrian Johnson, Alison Read, Chris Ejsmond, Fiona McGibbon, Jamie Reece, Michael Harth, Sue O’Sullivan and Tony Smith.

© All articles, cartoons and photographs are copyright of the author, artist and photographer. The views and opinions expressed in ODL Q Quarterly are those of the individual contributors and are not those of the editorial group, Opening Doors London or AgeUK Camden.

Opening Doors London (ODL) – www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk 15

Pets’ Corner

My cat, Jasper, is a bit paranoid about being photographed – I don’t like to think what he has on his conscience, if he has one, which I’ve reason to doubt. But then, as he’s a rehomed cat, and didn’t come to live with me until he was nearly four years old, there’s probably a number of things in his past which he doesn’t want me to know about. He’s about eight now, but still likes to live it up a bit – the other night he didn’t come in till half-­‐past five in the morning, and as he slept the rest of the day I feared he’d been up to no good, not that he would have admitted it if I’d asked him. He’s quite particular about the sort of people who visit us: he seems to know instinctively if someone doesn’t like cats and makes a beeline for them, crawling all over them while uttering insincere purrs. If that doesn’t work he sits close to them, and they don’t usually stay long. -­‐ Mike Harth

Cartoon © Jo Dunn 2014

To see more cartoons by Jo Dunn, please visit: http://jodunn.co.uk

Opening Doors London contact details

Opening Doors London (ODL), Age UK Camden Tavis House, 1 – 6 Tavistock Square London, WC1H 9NA Main Switchboard: 020 7239 0400 Nick Maxwell Development Coordinator for Men T: 020 7239 0446 E: odl.men@ageukcamden.org.uk Befriending Coordinators T: 020 7239 0400 E: odl.befriending@ageukcamden.org.uk

Stacey Halls Project Manager LGBT Campaigns & Policy Officer E: stacey.halls@ageukcamden.org.uk

Kate Hancock Development Coordinator for Women T: 020 7239 0447 E: odl.women@ageukcamden.org.uk ODL Quarterly E: odl.quarterly@ageukcamden.org.uk