ParentTeens Magazine - Summer 2019

Summer 2019

PARENTTEENS

meet the

ParentTeens EXPERTS

SUMMER 2019 / ISSUE 02 / VOLUME 01

GUTTED GLORY INTIMACY AFTER KIDS

A YEAR ON A SAILBOAT

Parenting Teenagers

SEVEN AT SEA

SPECIAL EDITION

Meet the ParentTeens Experts

WELCOME Welcome to the Summer Edition!

I am so happy to see you here...thank you for spending a few minutes with us!

Within the pages of this magazine you will find: unique parenting perspectives a community of love and support articles that answer your toughest questions and resources that you can count on Each of the contributors in this magazine will provide you with their best advice and remind you that you are not alone!

We aren’t here to preach and tell you what to do - we are here to love and encourage you on your journey - your unique journey.

Please consider reaching out to other parents in our Facebook Group. You don’t know who might need to hear from you, as well as what ideas may resonate with you and make your life as a parent just a bit easier.

See you inside.

Jennifer XOXO Jennifer, Mom and Founder of Parent Guide and Parent Teens.

P.S. If you are a parent of a younger child you will want to check out our PARENTGUIDE issue. Click here to access it 50 69 now! Happy Parenting!

PARENTTEENS 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentteens.club

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THANK YOU! I don't even know where to start when I think about how grateful I am to be here, with you, doing what I love, day in and day out!

I mean, just take a look to the right and you will see this super impressive line-up of incredibly talented and accomplished women that helped make this magazine happen! I just hope they each know how much I value their contribution!

Contributors

And, you...here, taking time out of your crazy, busy day to spend time with us! Grateful doesn't even begin to express how I feel!

And, I really want to get to know you all better. So, here are a few ways that we can stay connected, work together, and if I am lucky, maybe we can even become friends!

Erik Orton & Emily Orton Authors, Seven at Sea

Jennifer McCallum Founder of Parent Guide

Let's Connect

Rishma Walji, Naturopathic Doctor, Acupuncturist and PhD.

Sign up for FREE Daily Encouragement "YOU GOT THIS" Emails Just a little love to remind you how fabulous you are! https://bit.ly/2yX6Ajf Got a business? Become a ParentGuide or a ParentTeens Member Receive a bundle of ways to grow your business each month while we share you with our parent community. www.parentguide.ca or www.parentteens.club Want to write for us?

We are always looking for new ideas, new perspectives, and expert advice for our parent community. We talk about real issues for modern parents.

No fluff - just good, solid advice, examples, stories, and ideas to help make parenting just a bit easier. Contact me at: info@parentguide.ca

Brenda McGillivray, MSW, RSW Director & Co-creator McGill Healing Centre

PARENTTEENS 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentteens.club

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NEW

WHAT'S INSIDE

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04 Gutted Glory 14 How to keep the intimacy after kids 20 Cara Pollard 22 Kim Muench

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24 Cai Graham 26 Helaina Altabef 28 Tia Fagan 32 Maria Sanders 34 Seven at Sea 38 6 Surprising things sailing as a family taught me about "Quality Time" 44 Kirsten Cobabe

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46 Linda Bolinger 48 Deanne Barrett 50 Doreen Steenland 52 Tara Vogel 58 Dr. Maggie Wray 60 Laura Lyles Reagan

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PARENTTEENS 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentteens.club

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GUTTED GLORY

BY JENNIFER MCCALLUM AND BRENDA MACGILLIVRAY MSW, RSW I’m a cool mom, right? I am gracious and giving at just The definition

the right times. When my teens come to me, I always

of Gutted is:

have the right answer. When I hear about others that

cause

have problems with their teenagers, I think, wow that

(someone) to

must suck – but it will DEFINITELY NEVER be me! I will

feel extremely

NEVER let my relationship with my teens get off-track.

upset or

They will be superstars at school, home, and work. The

disappointed.

usual teenage dilemmas don’t apply to me, right?

Wrong, a million times over!

The definition of Glory is: a

In actual fact, my teens will be just like I was when I was

state of great

a teenager…just trying to figure it all out. And, my teens

gratification or

will be just like every other teen out there in the world.

exaltation

The difference is, I am the adult now and things look a lot different on this side of life’s journey.

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I don’t think I really remember,

I tell myself that I remember what

like truly remember, what it was

it is like to be a teenager to

like to be a teenager.

convince myself that I can relate

to whatever my teens are going

Call it selective memory, but I

through. I might regale them with

don’t remember letting down my

stories and try to persuade my

mom, ever. I remember just

memory to accept a new version of

living my teenage life, going to

a story, but I am lying to myself

school, work, coming home

and to them. Take note of the

before curfew. In fact, I don’t

many lies that I told you in the first

think I even had a curfew

paragraph: I bet you were

because I was so respectful and

believing me up until I said, “I’m a

mature, and always came home

cool mom”, am I right? I’m not a

before my mom would start

reliable witness!

worrying. Are you laughing out loud yet? Gosh, I sound like a

But, if I stop and really think about

complete angel, like a dream-

it, my mom was probably a lot like

child, don’t I?

me right now. My mom was always up when I got home late at night –

My expectations may not

I now know she was up waiting and

exactly match up with reality –

worrying.

now or then. Was I a superstar at school, home, and work, when I was growing up? Not even close. In fact, with all the stunts I pulled as a teen, I am lucky to be alive.

I would go right to my room so she

The thing is, some days I feel

wouldn’t smell the whisky and

completely gutted – I say and do

smoke on my breath. I would

everything wrong and no matter

usually have mascara running

what, my teens grow further and

down my face because of

further away. Then there are days

something my boyfriend said (I

when I bask in glory – my heart

was so upset I thought about

bursts with love and pride for them

driving off the road and straight

and in how I’m parenting them. I

into a tree most nights). I would

have decided to call this stage of

never get up for school on time

my life “Gutted Glory”. If you are a

and most days I would be running

parent of a teen, you know exactly

out the door without breakfast. My

how I feel. We’re elated one minute

marks were just barely passing

and just plain gutted the next; so

grades in high school. It wasn’t

thankful for each moment, yet,

until my mom’s funeral, just a few

heartbroken and a complete wreck

years ago, when I found out that

simultaneously.

my mom had been in constant

contact with my teachers, worried

It wasn’t until I began seeing a

that I would not graduate.

therapist last year that I got a real

handle on all of these emotions. My

You see, I thought I knew what it

“Gutted Glory" of a rollercoaster life

was like to be a teenager, but my

slowly became more smooth with

idea of teenage life was clouded

grace and thankfulness. My days

by my selective memory and the

filled with more understanding and

stories I have been telling myself.

acceptance of the changes my teens were going through;

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I was getting control of my emotions. I finally realized that my expectations did not meet up with my reality for me or for my family. I could go ahead and blame society, the media, and the archaic notions of the past for the challenges I was facing, but the answer to moving ahead in a relationship we all felt safe in in didn’t lie in blame. It was found in acceptance, kindness, understanding, and forgiveness.

3 MAIN IDEAS CAME OUT OF WORKING WITH A THERAPIST! Idea #1 - After a few sessions, it became crystal clear that the only way for me to get my relationships back on track was to take care of myself. I know, I know, you are probably going to skip over this point and think, “well, ya, nice thought but who has time for that?” Please, I am begging you...read that sentence again: the only way for me to get my relationships back on track was to take care of myself. I would love to tell you why you need to squeeze yourself into your life myself but I think my therapist can do it more justice!

From Brenda MacGillivray MSW, RSW

“This can be tough for Moms

If we go too deeply into their

especially because as women we are

experience, we can’t separate their

socialized to believe that we’re

experience from our own and it’s

responsible for the good, the bad,

hard then to know how to show up

and the ugly when it comes to our

for ourselves and for them (when

kids. We can internalize their

they’re ready). Remember the

struggles and feel that we have to

flight instructions to put your own

influence their outcomes. Try to

oxygen mask on first before

remember that your teens have their

attending to your children. It will

own lived experience and, despite all

also slow down reactionary

we do, or don’t do, they have to live

responses that come from a place

through these experiences in order to

of fear and panic; and allow

make it to the other side.

yourself a little more time to think about how you want to respond.”

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Idea #2 - The other

Although I don’t agree with this

unexpected reality of

statement 100%, I do think there is some

parenting teens is that at

truth in it. Brenda does, too:

some point, you need to stop treating them like children,

From Brenda MacGillivray, MSW, RSW

and start treating them like the adults you want them to

“Listen to what they are saying to you.

be. OK, this sounds so easy,

Try to silence that voice in your head

right? Of course I can do this!

that goes to problem-solving. Even if

Hahahaha (to infinity). No way

they’re really good answers; they likely

am I going to let go of control

will be rejected because you’re not

over my child. I mean, for

allowing them to figure out their own

close to 15-16-17 years, I have

answers and ask questions. Ask them

been responsible for what

how they feel about what they’re telling

they eat (mostly), who they are

you: “How does that make you feel?” Try

friends with (kind-of), what

not to judge or critique their responses.

they wear (I do the shopping),

and what activities they do!

Just let them talk…they’re trying to

Are you telling me that I need

formulate their own ideas and trying to

to stop all of this – like now?

process their choices. If they have to

Not a chance!

worry about your judgement of them, it’ll

shut down their efforts to process. Be

I read somewhere that by the

honest but kind. If you’re scared, tell

time your child reaches the

them you’re scared and why. Tell them

age of 14 you have taught

you love them unconditionally (no matter

them everything they need to

what, NOT “only if”) and that you have

know. No longer do you need

their best interests at heart. Now,

to teach – you just need to

release them…they have to figure some of

listen. Oh my…just listen?

this out on their own and yes, that means they may get hurt, make mistakes etc.”

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Idea #3 - The final step that

But, reminding myself that it is not

brought me back to where I

personal? This one is not so easy.

wanted to be as a parent of a

I am the parent. I am responsible

teen, is to “Hold Space” for them;

for what my kids do and say and

to love them unconditionally and

become. Anything that is done or

remind myself to not take it

said by my child is a direct

personally. This one was a tough

representation of my parenting

one for me – I mean, loving them

skills. How can I not take it

unconditionally – I can do that

personally when my kids reject me

with my hands tied behind my

or my efforts? To top it off,

back and blindfolded…or can I?

sometimes teens say things that

Don’t I have expectations for

hurt – things we would never have

them? Of course I do, but it has

thought they’d say to us – so pile

nothing to do with love. I think all

on the shame in thinking that I am

parents only want the best for

not a good parent to the hurt in

their kids and sometimes you need

thinking that they think I may not

to alter your expectations and

be a good person (or at least

remind yourself that their path will

deserving of name-calling):

not always look like the one you

gutted! Utterly and completely

imagined for them. So, check, and

gutted,

check, I can do this!

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Here is how Brenda helped me

My journey back to myself through

work through this one:

this Gutted Glory era has given me renewed kindness and

From Brenda MacGillivray MSW,

understanding, not only for

RSW

myself, but for my teens that are

growing into fine young adults.

“This is a growing journey and you

won’t necessarily get a road map.

I know that I couldn’t have done

Be kind to yourself and to your

this alone, and that is why, on the

teen when you take a detour or

following pages, you will find

end up off the road. Allow

some of the best parenting

yourself and them the space to

coaches and experts in the world.

work through their questions into

These experts work specifically

their answers. This doesn’t mean

with parents of teens to help

you condone all their choices; be

parents navigate through these

honest in your responses…but it

teen years. Reach out and connect

doesn’t also mean you condemn

with them. Working with Brenda

them for the choices that you may

and connecting with all of these

disagree with and not understand

parenting experts has been the

completely.”

best decision of my life. I knew I wanted to be better for my teens, and I owed it to them to figure out how. The thing is, I am not alone. I know you are right there walking beside me, raising your teens the best you can, and wondering how to get through some of the difficult days.

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Join me and many others as we find more glory in our life by being kind to ourselves and allowing time to treasure the unique people our teens are becoming. Â My hope is that our Gutted Glory days are fewer and the path that lies ahead is paved with patience, kindness, love, and compassion for our teens that are trying to figure it all out just like we are!

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HOW TO KEEP THE INTIMACY GOING...

AFTER YOU HAVE KIDS When you have kids, it can seem impossible to find time to yourself, let alone time to actively focus on your relationship with your partner. The truth is, though, that it's good for kids to grow up in a household where their caregivers demonstrate love and affection for each other as well as for them.

So, how can you keep the intimacy going after having kids? Here are a few ideas!

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GET FLIRTY

HAVE MAKEOUTS!

If your relationship is starting to resemble more of a lacklustre roommate situation, it's time to rekindle the romance with a little flirting. Think back to the early days of your relationship. Did you have any overblown, flirtatious endearments for each other? Or any specific words, phrases, or gestures that would get you both a little hot under the collar. Now's the time to give them a whirl again. And, even if you feel silly, remember that laughter itself can be sexy when it's shared.

Don't have the time, energy, or (let's face it), inclination for sex most days? It's high time to revisit first base. Long, luscious makeouts, or short, sexy makeouts, are much more likely to help you and your partner(s) feel connected, compared to a quick peck on the cheek or lips before and after work and at bedtime.

TOUCH EACH OTHER It might sound a little obvious, but when your days seem to be one practical challenge after another (breakfast, school run, naptime, grocery shopping, bath time, bedtime, laundry!) it's easy to go for long stretches without taking a moment to simply revel in each other's physical presence.

Put on a slow song you both like and hold each other in the living room for a few minutes. Hold hands at the grocery store.

Maybe even sit back to back or lie head to toe while catching up on emails after the kids are in bed. Whatever you need to get done, try doing it while being in physical contact with your partner (where practical!), and you'll feel far more connected than if you retreat to separate rooms and pass like ships in the night.

Earmark ten minutes of makeouts, set a timer, and go! This doesn’t have to lead to sex, and, in fact, you may want to make that an explicit rule because sex itself can sometime be a barrier to intimacy. If you’ve started to feel that sex inevitably follows from small acts of intimacy like kissing, this can create a barrier to those smaller, important types of physical contact. Just knowing that the timer is set can help if you know that you don’t necessarily have the time to luxuriate in or prepare for sex in a way that makes you feel sexy.

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SEND LOVE NOTES If your preferred form of intimacy is based on words of affection, step up your post-it note game. Instead of leaving reminders to do the dishes, or take out the trash, or schedule that medical appointment, leave little notes that spell out exactly what you love about your partner(s). Or, how about leaving notes in their lunch bag or briefcase with (‘safe for work’) inside jokes, or flirty suggestions for your partner to find around the house. Opening the refrigerator and finding a cheeky note on an amusing looking vegetable is much better than trying to flirt via text, using confusing emoticons that are easily misinterpreted.

TALK TO EACH OTHER Again, it sounds obvious, but the longer people are in a relationship, the more things are taken for granted. Just because you have kids, doesn't mean you don't have other, adult needs. Make time to explore these yourself, and then spell out those needs to your partner(s) in explicit terms. Ask them to do the same, and you might find that what was vaguely satisfying in that familiar, comfortable, sort of way could be so, so, so much better.

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PUT ON A SLOW SONG YOU BOTH LIKE AND HOLD EACH OTHER IN THE LIVING ROOM FOR A FEW MINUTES. HOLD HANDS AT THE GROCERY STORE. MAYBE EVEN SIT BACK TO BACK OR LIE HEAD TO TOE WHILE CATCHING UP ON EMAILS AFTER THE KIDS ARE IN BED. RISHMA WALJI

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GET COMFORTABLE WITH MORE THAN ONE BABYSITTER (AND GET YOUR KIDS USED TO SLEEPOVERS!) Seriously. The more people you have on hand to step up when you and your partner need some alone time, the easier it will be to do things spontaneously when the mood strikes you both. If you only have one go-to babysitter, it can seem impossible to have time to yourselves, and you'll likely be too exhausted or worried to have a fun and flirty evening. Also, getting your kid(s), and you and your partner, comfortable early on with the kids sleeping over at a trusted friends' early on can also mean you get to have alone time at home. Just don't waste the time catching up on housework!

Rishma Walji is a Naturopathic Doctor, Acupuncturist and PhD. She has been working in clinical practice for over 16 years. Dr. Rishma has a unique balance of scientific, evidencebased knowledge and natural, holistic healing experience.

What she’s learned is that there are options.

There are steps you can take, once you learn how things work. Dr. Rishma helps families of all kinds along their journey to parenthood, through fertility, pregnancy and post partum recovery. She has dedicated her career to teaching people to understand their bodies and their physiology, empowering them to manage the things that are in their control and ultimately achieving lasting results.

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d r a l l o P Cara

PCI CERTIFIED PARENT COACH

What do you do?

I am a parent coach and I coach parent of teens

What issues do you deal with?

I deal with issues of lack communication, anxiety, motivation, and addictions

How can you help?

I’ve developed a communication process and I offer techniques and strategies to address your current situation. We use the strengths of your family and your intentions to determine ways to proceed toward your preferred way of relating.

What can I expect?

I offer a 20 minute consultation to determine if we can work together and if I can help you. I explain my process and we schedule or weekly meetings.

What other parents say about Cara “Cara just, ‘gets it’!”

“As a single, divorced mother of two teens Cara was able to really see the dynamics of our situation. I have gone to therapists and counselors but never felt like my true needs were being met. From the first day I met her I was able to communicate more effectively with my children.”

“Cara has a plan and if you follow the plan you will see the results you want. She offered simple strategies for me to use immediately to quickly transform my, already good relationships, into even better ones. She also has a way of framing conversations and a way of helping me see things from a different perspective that drive results. Simply becoming more mindful of what I say and how I say it to my children has made my relationships even stronger than before.”

“Beyond being educated, warm and kind, Cara is extremely insightful and wise.

It is amazing how making simple changes in my communication effected such immediate change. I highly recommend Cara as a Parent Coach!”

Anxiety in Teenagers

How can I find you?

You can connect with me here:

h c n e u Kim M

PARENT & TEEN GUIDE

What do you do?

I specialize in helping parents of kids ages 10-25 enjoy peaceful homes and relationships within their family. I do this with compassion and without judgment. This work is not about quick strategies, it's about working with the parent to create lasting, generational change in the family environment.

What issues do you deal with?

I have personally experienced and worked with teen pregnancy, adolescent addiction, anxiety, and depression.

How can you help?

Together we work to identify the limiting beliefs your child's behavior is triggering inside of you and work through them to discover new beliefs that will better serve the parent/child relationship you are in. We work on parenting with rather than over your child.

What can I expect?

I always offer a 20-minute complimentary consultation in order to learn more about your unique family situation and to help you get to me and how I work with parents. I have a reasonable hourly rate, weekly custom packages, and I also offer an 8-week online course I will personally guide you through one module per week.

How can I find you?

I am on Facebook at Real Life Parent Guide, you can text me anytime at 972-689-0250 to schedule our complimentary consultation.

What other parents say about Kim "Thank you for caring so much about my comfort on this journey...you pushed enough buttons to get stuff out and done, but not enough to cause dread. I am a better parent for having worked with you." ~Carmen, mom of two "You helped me understand my kids aren't acting and saying things just to hurt me, it is there way of showing me they are growing up and making decisions for themselves. I don't take their statements as personally anymore, I know that this is how teenagers express there need for a feeling of independence." Deb, mom of twin teen boys and college-age girl "Best investment I ever made for our family!" Jennifer, mom of four teens "Thank you for caring so much about my comfort on this journey...you pushed buttons just enough to get stuff out and done but not enough to create dread." Carmen, mom of two "You heard and understood where sometimes I don't feel my wife gets where I'm coming from. Just hearing myself talk out loud and you're asking me the right questions brought me so much peace of mind. Thank you, Kim, for doing this work!" David, stepdad of three

5 Essential Elements of Parenting Teens

How can I find you?

m a h a r G i Ca MUM, PARENTING EXPERT, AUTHOR & SPEAKER

What do you do?

I help Parents Support their Children - so that Together we can Build a Mentally Healthier and Happier Generation of Young People.

What issues do you deal with?

Anxiety, Confidence, Communication, Discipline, Motivation, Self-Care, Self-Harm.

How can you help?

The TEEN Toolbox™ series is basically the Umbrella under which I work. It is my collection of products and services that are specifically geared towards parents and their teenagers. These include: courses, consultations, in-home visits, and retreats

What can I expect?

Well that all depends on what product or service you are using.

Above all - I want to leave you with takeaways. Practical techniques and tools that will equip you with the challenges that you are dealing with.

I offer a free 30 minute call www.caigraham.com/discovery

More on what I offer...

Spotlight Course : These courses give you an in depth insight into the specific challenges you are experiencing.

You are provided with a deeper understanding and a clear-cut exercises designed to help you conquer these particular obstacles. Many of these courses can be completed in an hour or so. They are child-friendly and are designed to gain rapid results.

Flagship Course : Let’s face it - you are your child’s best Role Model. So this course is designed to help you support your child to the very best of your ability. It is a detailed blueprint to help you build both your parenting expertise and confidence.

The course is broken down into 8 modules and requires an investment of your time and commitment.

There is also the opportunity to be part of our online community. Join me and other like-minded parents where your questions and challenges can be shared and addressed.

Take this course - your kids will, thank you, one day!

1-2-1 Consultations : This is the opportunity to work with me personally ( from hourly calls to coaching packages ) I love these sessions, as they are a fantastic opportunity for me to connect with you at a deeper level and a great way for us to work together more closely; without judgement and with a sprinkling of humour!

Working with me directly will help you achieve your parenting goals faster. We can address the issues that are unique to your family and deal with everyone’s challenges individually : ✔ Identify the obstacles that are currently holding you back. ✔ Get pointers to will help you better connect with your child. ✔ Understand how to build stronger relationships with the whole family. ✔ Learn new ways to communicate – so that you and your teen can talk more freely. ✔Free App : The TEEN Toolbox™ : Signposts you to my social media channels and some quick exercises that will help you support you immediately. www.caigraham.com/app

✔My Book : The TEEN Toolbox™ : Keep this on your nightstand! It’s a valuable point of reference when you need to gain some parenting answers. www.caigraham.com/book

How can I find you?

All About Teen Anxiety

f e b a t l A Helaina TAME THE TEEN What do you do?

I am a parent educator and coach. I have a Crash Course for parents of teens about Authoritative Parenting.

What is Authoritative Parenting?

It's the balance between high expectations and high emotional availability. It's the sweet spot between old school and new school, and kids who are raised by these kinds of parents are most successful across the board.

How can you help?

The teen years get a bad rap-they don't have to be miserable! I help you understand your teen and improve how you communicate. Once you learn and implement new tools, your power struggles will disappear.

What can I expect?

No judgement, excellent listening skills, fresh perspective and practical strategies.

What other parents say about Helaina Prior to taking Tame the Teen's Crash Course, my greatest struggle was staying calm in the face of my kids' emotional storms. Now that I've taken the course, I know how to remove myself from a heated situation and address is it a more rational way from a place of calm. I've learned more about how teenagers think and feel, and am more empathetic even when I disagree with them. I would recommend this course to all parents of teens who need a lifeline! Paula S, New Jersey Prior to taking TtT's Crash Course, my greatest struggles were communicating effectively with my teenage daughters, setting limits on screen time and getting my daughters to help around the house.

Now that I've taken the Course, I've learned how to be more effective in communicating with them and how to set appropriate boundaries. I’ve gotten a lot of tips on setting limits on screen time.

I’ve also learned many helpful little tips on just dealing with my teens generally.

Now that I have taken the course I see much less yelling and better communication at home and feel like I’ve gotten closer with my daughters and understand much more about how their teenage minds work. Michelle V, New Jersey

Free Download

Parenting Teenagers How can I find you?

You can connect with me here:

n a g a F Tia CERTIFIED PARENT COACH What do you do?

I offer virtual/online coaching to parents.

Supporting parents of teens to improve their relationships and find the joy in parenting is my passion!

What issues do you deal with?

· Strengthening Parent-Teen Relationship · Improving Communication · Addressing Challenges such as Screen Time, Disrespect, Anger, Boundaries, Lack of Motivation, Anxiety, and More!

How can you help?

I help parents understand why your teen is behaving the way they are and how you can guide, connect, and support your teen and create the relationship you both long for. I provide coaching, tools, and resources to help you through the challenges of parenting teens. My objective is that you feel supported and gain confidence while parenting your teen.

What can I expect?

I offer a free 30-minute call to see if we are a good fit. If you are interested in coaching, we determine the coaching frequency that works for you. I do not require a set commitment. I offer coaching via phone or online.

What other parents say about Tia “Tia's incredible capacity to listen without judgement, to hold a mirror up for us as parents to see what does and does not work and to offer insight into the minds of our teens, are a few of her greatest talents. I have seen example after example of how the smallest changes to my parenting styles have led to a blossoming in my daughter's heart and mind. A huge thank you to Tia for having such an impact on our family as a whole.” - A.M.

“I am so grateful for Tia and her wisdom and encouragement. During our sessions I never felt judged for my mistakes. She treated me with empathy and kindness every step of the way. I feel more confident in my own abilities and I know that when my family hits the inevitable bumps in the road, I have a wonderful safe place to gain more wisdom.” - C.S. “I never could have understood the lasting effects my sessions with Tia would have. I understood that I was investing in a long-term process. My hope was that it would offer me different tools to use for parenting. I had no way to truly understand the deep and rich connection it would afford me with my children. A good friend recently remarked about my teenage daughter "You know she really loves you. She looks up to you and knows she can trust you." Wow! The rewards of my investment in this work have paid for themselves more than I could have asked for." - M.A.

3 Ways to Deepen the Connection with your Teenager How can I find you?

You can connect with me here:

Access the top parenting experts IN THE WORLD right now

Subscribe to our NEW YouTube Channel here!

Expert advice when you need it!

WWW.PARENTTEENS.CLUB | 31

s r e d n a MariaP AS RENT COACH What do you do?

I work with parents to help them find loving solutions to their parenting challenges.

What issues do you deal with?

Any and all! The main issues have been challenges around communication and connection. This plays out during homework and chore battles, disrespectful behaviors and screen time issues and many other behavioral challenges.

How can you help?

I help by listening intently, asking key questions, providing information, and offering specific suggestions to help you implement new attitudes and strategies in your life for you and your children. The coaching I do is guided by the principles of conscious parenting and collaborative problem solving.

What can I expect?

Coaching can either take place over the phone/video or in person. Depending on your unique needs, sessions can last anywhere from eight to twelve sessions at one hour per session. I recommend one session per week in order to allow for quality focus and maintain momentum.

What other parents say about Maria Maria stepped right in asking the right questions that addressed the issues head-on and guided me to think of the solutions and steps necessary to get the results I envisioned.

Our lives have been transformed. We cannot recommend her enough to any family who needs to work through a challenging situation.

Before working with Maria, I was just overwhelmed by them. It only took a few short months, but by the end I had crossed everything off my list, and it felt wonderful.

Maria Sanders gave me the insight to connect with my children on a deeper level and encouraged me to look beneath the surface.

Creating a Connection with your teenager

How can I find Maria?

You can connect with me here:

WHY A NEW YORK CITY FAMILY CAST OFF CONVENTION FOR A LIFECHANGING YEAR ON A SAILBOAT

By Erik Orton & Emily Orton

Seven at Sea

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Families Can’t Just Pack Up and Leave, Can They? …

A COURAGEOUS AND INSPIRING MEMOIR ABOUT A FAMILY WHO GOES COMPLETELY AGAINST THE GRAIN AND FINDS ADVENTURE AND HAPPINESS ALONG THE WAY Wanderlust. Boredom. Frustration.

Whatever the reason, we have all had days where we wished we could pack our bags and just go somewhere; anywhere. But for a myriad of reasons (jobs, spouses, kids, responsibilities), most of us don’t do it. Erik and Emily Orton, the authors of Seven at Sea: Why a New York City Family Cast off Convention for a Life-Changing Year on a Sailboat (Shadow Mountain Publishing, March 5, 2019) did that very thing—leaving their daily lives in New York City and traveling the world—with their five children in tow.

The book takes us along for the ride as the Ortons experience the challenges and joys of a year at sea on a sailboat as a family of seven. In addition to sharing the very concrete issues they face— finances, schooling, how to sail a boat—in engaging and authentic prose, the book reminds us that our lives are what we make them, and that we should all have the courage to seek our dream lives whatever they may be.

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DARE TO DREAM Working a temp job night shift in a cubicle in Manhattan to help provide for his wife and their five children, the youngest with Down syndrome, Erik Orton knew something had to change. Watching the sailboats on the Hudson River during his breaks, he dared to dream, and craved a life that was full of more than just surviving day to day. Despite having no sailing experience, his wife Emily’s phobia of deep water, and already being financially stretched, the family of seven turned their excuses into reasons and their fears into motivation as they set off on a voyage that ultimately took them 5,000 miles from New York to the Caribbean and back. Their journey that included plenty of learning and adventure, showed them the value of doing things their own way, and most importantly gave them time together as a family before their oldest daughter left for college.

"...(THE TRIP) GAVE THEM TIME TOGETHER AS A FAMILY BEFORE THEIR OLDEST DAUGHTER LEFT FOR COLLEGE." And while the memoir is incredibly inspiring, and the Ortons did certainly gain a lot from sailing with their family for a year, the takeaway of Seven at Sea is not that that all of us should quit our jobs and buy sailboats. The book serves as an encouraging reminder that our lives can be what we make them regardless of what society dictates.

Many of us, especially parents, tend to feel stuck in our circumstances. The Ortons show us that on a large or small scale, we can imagine more boldly than we usually allow for and dare to dream of a life that doesn’t look anything like the one we have now—and still manage to be great parents, spouses, and members of society.

“Most travel adventure memoirs are solo journeys,” says Erik Orton. “This book is not just about a largish family, including a child with special needs, on an exquisitely average budget doing something audacious. This memoir is also intended to give readers courage to customize their own lives regardless of their current circumstances.”

THIS BOOK GIVES YOU A LOOK AT WHAT IS POSSIBLE AND THE COURAGE TO CUSTOMIZE YOUR OWN LIFE REGARDLESS OF YOUR CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCE

See page 30 for "6 Surprising Things Sailing as a Family Taught Me About “Quality Time”

by Emily Orton

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6 SURPRISING THINGS SAILING AS A FAMILY TAUGHT ME ABOUT “QUALITY TIME"

by Emily Orton

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6 SURPRISING THINGS SAILING AS A FAMILY TAUGHT ME ABOUT “QUALITY TIME" One of the main reasons my husband and I decided to trade in our New York City life and bootstrap a year on a sailboat was to create memories with our five children then ages six to sixteen. I thought this simple lifestyle would make quality time easier. Here’s what I learned.

1. Put your family first on the calendar.

2. The relationship is the goal.

We mistakenly thought moving aboard a 38’ x 21’ sailboat with our children would automatically create the ideal circumstances for family time. We learned that no matter where you live, the first rule of calendars is that they tend to fill up. If family time is a priority, treat it that way by putting it on your calendar before the baby showers, birthday parties, and errands to the hardware store.

Our family sailed throughout the Caribbean, the British Virgin Islands, and the Bahamas.

The kids’ favorite moments were times when, whether having a private conversation or solving a problem, we were fully present with each other. For example, our kids love remembering when our boat started sinking in the middle of the night and we had to work together. Whether it’s work or play, remember that the relationship is the goal.

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3. Make it routine.

It’s easier to upgrade your current routine than start a new one. If you’re looking to upgrade your time as a family, think of something you already do regularly.

Maybe it’s school drop off or eating a family meal. Whatever brings you together use that time to connect. Look each other in the eyes and say, ‘I love you’ or ask about the highs and lows of the day. It only takes a moment to transform an interaction into a connection.

4. Make it unique.

My son still talks about the time we had Costco chicken nuggets for lunch because we ate them sitting under our dining table instead at the table. Your brain efficiently files similar experiences together, like the thousands of times you’ve locked the front door. Distinct memories, however, each get their own folder. They stand out. That’s one of the main reasons our family chose to live on a sailboat. You don’t have to go to those extremes to make moments special, but once in a while change things up. Your children will remember those unique moments.

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5. One on One is Good for the Whole

6. Get Over Your Destination Fever.

Our family of seven is a big crew.

Living in small spaces, like a sailboat or our New York City apartment, it’s fun and practical to work and play as a whole family. However, on our sailing trip, I learned that the main thing each of my kids wanted from me was personal attention. Each of my children wanted to be seen, heard, and appreciated individually. When that was secure, the quantity of bickering decreased and the quality of time together as a whole family improved.

We obviously care a lot about quality time as a family. But anxiety can suck the joy out of our time together. When we started our sailing trip, we planned to spend two weeks prepping the boat and then really start our family time.

But unforeseen engine issues kept us tied to one island for nearly three months. This unexpected delay could have soured our whole experience if we hadn’t relaxed and remembered number one agenda item—Connect.

Our real goal was to create memories as a family, which we can do from anywhere.

WHEREVER YOU ARE, HAVING A FAMILY IS AN AMBITIOUS ADVENTURE. AND QUALITY TIME CAN FEEL LIKE AN ISLAND OVER THE HORIZON. HOPEFULLY, THESE SIMPLE IDEAS WILL HELP YOU FIND JOY IN THAT JOURNEY. HAPPY TRAVELS. Emily Orton blogs with her husband, Erik, at Fezywig.com. They are the co-authors of Seven at Sea: Why A New York City Family Cast Off Convention For A Life-Changing Year On A Sailboat now available everywhere books are sold.

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W S M , e b a b o C n e t s r i K

TEEN WHISPERER AND PARENT COACH

What do you do?

I offer online and in person support to parents and teenagers, including digital resources so that you can start improving your relationship with your teen today! Compassionate support for passionate parents.

What issues do you deal with?

Anxiety - Depression - Connection - Social Media Sleep - School - Stress

How can you help?

By providing modern support, families learn the tools to create healthy and whole relationships that withstand the ebbs and flows of life - and adolescence. My current online resources include a digital course on how to support your teen with anxiety and depression. Join this new wave of present parenting that can change the dynamics of your household.

What can I expect?

I offer a free 30 minute-consultation call to explore a potential fit. If we decide to work together, we will develop a tailored approach for your unique family circumstances. You will also have full access to my online resources!

What other parents say about Kirsten "Your warmth, compassion and approach are unmatched. You have changed our lives forever and we are incredibly grateful to know you. You brought so much peace into our world; this is a gift that will never be forgotten." “To know Kirsten is to be truly seen...thank you for making a huge impact in my life.�

"You were the perfect guide who appeared at the exact time in my life when I needed you. You gently communicated in a way to which I could feel on a deep level. Thank you so much for your guidance!! It truly changed my world."

3 Steps to Creating Connection with your Teenager TODAY! 3 Steps to Creating Connection with your Teenager TODAY!

How can I find you?

You can connect with me here:

r e g n i l o Linda B

INTUITIVE MENTOR & THETAHEALING PRACTITIONER

What do you do?

I help parents and teens strengthen their relationship with SELF.

How is this accomplished?

I utilize my intuition to navigate to the origin of emotional blocks, negative experiences and beliefs that are negatively impacting your current relationship with self and others.

Together we will peel the layers, with clarity, intent and new perspective, to release what no longer serves you and your teen.

What can I expect?

Results. Clarity & new perspective.

Resolution to undesired situations & experiences that will leave you feeling light, without carrying the emotional “load.�

How do I get started?

I invite you to connect with me via email or social media to book your FREE 30-min clarity call to chat about the specific needs and changes you are looking for in your current relationship. Once enrolled in my mentorship, we will create a plan that is tailored to your specific needs and schedule weekly sessions to jump into desired change.

What can be expected by investing in MYSELF and TEEN via your Mentorship?

You will strengthen your intuition and align to #BYObestself in this 10hr FLEXIBLE program. Let your weekly sessions be tailored to you and the needs of your teen. If you are READY to shift out of your current situation and create change that lasts, this program is for you. Step into joy, positivity and a future that excites you, with the tips, exercises and healing that comes with this program! Invest in SELF to experience the change you are longing for.

Hear it from others who have invested in self & committed to CHANGE in their relationship:

Linda is my absolute go-to person when I need support, clarity and direction. She has helped me find my way through many moments I have felt lost. Linda has also helped my teen-age daughter through many typical teen-age struggles. My daughter is a much happier person after her sessions with Linda. She works with Linda on a regular basis now and is doing amazing!! Thank you Linda for the work you do. My family is very grateful to have you on our side. Jennifer Funnell (Ontario, Canada) Linda is a gifted healer - she intuitively gets to the source of my obstacles and answers questions I didn't even know how to ask. I know that I can get on a call with her and I can trust that I'll feel better in just 60 minutes. She's helped guide me ‌.to follow my intuition and trust how to be in the flow. Before our session today, I felt untethered, lost in space, disconnected from my body - anxious, fearful, and overwhelmed - and definitely not creative! After our session I felt re-inspired, like a weight was lifted off my shoulders - and I felt connected to myself again. I highly recommend you go to Linda when you need help that you can't always put words to - she'll figure it out! -Jen Pillow (British Columbia, Canada) Working with Linda is a great experience overall. Coming in to sessions and working with Linda helped me clear my mind and really think rationally after. As well it calms and relaxes your mind and body during sessions. Working with Linda really helped me think about different aspects of situations, and working on finding out more about myself. After leaving I felt very positive and clear minded always looking forward to the next session. Nicholas ~ 18 years old (Ontario, Canada)

ThetaHealing for Teenagers How can I find you?

You can connect with me here:

t t e r r a B e n n a e D RADIANT LEADERSHIP COACHING FOR MOMS

What do you do?

I offer online coaching to sensitive, empathic moms who want to be a strong leader for their pre-teens and teens

What issues do you deal with?

Anxiety, resentment, frustration, energy leaks, boundaries.

How can you help?

I help moms connect to deeply sourced LOVE energy to be the compassionate and strong leader their teen needs.

What can I expect?

I offer a free 30 minute call to see if we are good fit for one of my private or group coaching programs. Private calls happen once a week over the phone.

Group coaching happens over the phone and video conferencing. Ask me how to gain access to my library of resources, and my monthly Radiant Mom Tribe calls!

What other parents say about Deanne This work has transformed the way I see my teens and it has given me a gift to help them develop their confidence and achieve their goals.” –Deb Hemmaway I find that Deanne presents topics in a very positive, mindful and deliberate way. After the coaching calls I feel grounded and inspired to connect with my daughter in a new way. This is in contrast to some presentations when I leave feeling deflated and thinking “I should do this” or “I should be this”. – Jutta Shaw “This is really working! I’m glad I chose this coaching over therapy, because instead of ruminating over what’s not working, I have some clear, practical things that I can try” – Rebecca, mom of a high school aged son

Three things you can do right now to create an energetic connection with your teen.

1- Put your hand on your heart and take three slow, deep breaths 2- Envision a peaceful, connected moment with your teen in your mind’s eye 3- Send love out to your teen. Visualise pink light radiating out from your heart and enveloping your teen.

How to be a Leader for your Teen How can I find you?

You can connect with me here:

d n a l n e e t Doreen S RELATIONSHIP COACH

What do you do?

I offer the Parenting with Intention Workshop online and coach parents of teens to help them navigate their changing relationship, married couples who desire to deepen their relationship, and teens who desire to grow in resilience.

What issues do you deal with?

Relationship-Managing EmotionsNeuroplasticity-Creating ResilienceDevelopment of Powerful world changing teens

How can you help?

I help create awareness, and provide tools and strategies for developing deep, meaningful relationships with your teen, self and God, through coaching and transformational neuroscience.

What can I expect?

The Parenting With Intention Workshop is a four week workshop done on Zoom and runs quarterly.

For one on one coaching, our calls usually last 45 minutes (30 minutes for teens) and can be done from anywhere in the world. I offer a free inquiry call to see if I’m the right coach for you and your family.

What other parents say about Doreen “After applying the new things I learned, I have figured out ways to defuse situations before they ignite - which avoids unproductive arguing and I'm focused on the message I want to teach her.

This class was amazing!” Jennifer Neilson “We learned techniques to bring down the escalated emotions and instead begin productive communication where we can all learn and think constructively. More importantly, we learned great techniques on how to have healthy communication with our kids! sign up...you will not be disappointed.” Elizabeth Renna “Many times, we reacted abruptly from our own emotions. It was eye-opening to learn that we could handle situations in a completely different way. It was also helpful to learn from the other parents that we were not alone in our challenges to better connect with our teens. We learned tools that provided us with the ability to pause before reacting and to look at situations from both sides.” Elizabeth Pilla

Christian Coaching How can I find you?

You can connect with me here:

l e g o V Tara

ASTROLOGY FOR PARENTS

What do you do?

I’m a coach and an astrologer for parents. I combine both coaching and astrology to support parents and their children in becoming more of themselves. My goal is when I work with parents is always about understanding and connection. The result is allowing your child to flourish and grow as an individual while honoring your own personal growth and soul work at the same time. When we’re allowed to be all of who we are, we flourish and thrive.

How can you help?

Through astrology and coaching, I guide parents on how to best honor and support their teen...and themselves.

What can I expect?

I like to work with the parents first and sometimes it’s just the mom. We look at the parent’s astrological birth chart which is essentially a lesson plan for the soul. I point the way and support and coach you. Then I have a session for the parent(s) about the child and illuminate their soul lessons (which I can see through their astrological birth chart). We all have different birth charts and our soul lessons are all different.

After we understand the parent and the child individually, we work on how to strengthen their relationship while still honoring who they are as a person. My goal is always connection and understanding. Our teenagers are wanting that even though it may not seem like it!

What other parents say about Tara “Tara did readings for me, my son, and my daughter. The insight and guidance I gained were invaluable! She affirmed things I was already thinking and illuminated things I hadn’t considered. Tara also gave me practical steps I can take to deeply support my children’s growth into who their souls are here to be in this life. I feel I have a roadmap I can come back to again and again as they grow. Thank you for this gift, Tara!”

“ Having a child with special needs, my husband and I have spent countless hours wondering what the future would be like for our precious girl, and this fear of the unknown has consumed our lives for years. It wasn’t until we met Tara and had a reading with her, however, that everything changed for the better. When Tara read our daughter’s chart it was as if for the first time since our daughter was born, someone finally understood who she was as a complete being of light and love, on both a physical AND a soul level. Tara helped us understand our daughter’s behaviors, her strengths, her fears, and the purpose in this life she was meant to fulfill. With this new information, my husband and I were finally able to release our own fears of the future, and together we stepped into a new beginning with our daughter, celebrating her life for the fullness of joy that she brings to this earth. Tara is not only exceptionally gifted, but she truly loves what she does, and her commitment to her craft has made all the difference in our family’s life. We are forever grateful!

What is an Astrological Natal Chart?

How can I find you?

You can connect with me here:

smoothies made simple 5 MIN RECIPES

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TRIPLE BERRY SMOOTHIE INGREDIENTS 1 cup cranberry-raspberry juice 8 ounces fresh strawberries, hulled and quartered (1 1/2 cups) 6 ounces fresh raspberries (1 1/4 cups) 4 ounces fresh blueberries (3/4 cup) 1 medium ripe banana, cut into large chunks 1 cup vanilla yogurt 12 ice cubes DIRECTIONS Place ingredients in blender jar in order listed.

Cover and blend on AUTO SMOOTHIE setting or PULSE a few times, then blend on HIGH for 30 to 45 seconds.

TEST KITCHEN TIP: Try different combinations of fresh berries and juice to make new flavors of smoothies.

HTTPS://WWW.HAMILTONBEA CH.CA/TRIPLE-BERRYSMOOTHIE

TEENS

IF YOU HAVE TWEENS OR

PLEASE JOIN US

WWW.PARENTTEENS.CLUB If you are a parent of a teen, we help you find answers, even when you have tried everything. We do this by giving you immediate access to the top parenting coaches IN THE WORLD! Join us today!

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YOU ARE NOT ALONE! WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH AND WE ARE HERE TO HELP It is possible to restore the relationship with your teen again. It is possible that you can find peace at home and joy in your heart. Come join us and walk the same path we did to find the answers to all of our worries. Wouldn't it feel good to feel good again?

For more details, visit our website at www.parentteens.club. For inquiries, contact us at (519) 645-7342 or at info@parentguide.ca

.D. h P , y a r ie W g g a M . r D ACADEMIC LIFE COACHING & ADHD COACHING FOR TEENS

What do you do?

Academic + ADHD coaching for high school and college students

What issues do you deal with?

Executive functioning skills - Mindset and motivation - Organization - Time management Study skills - Stress management

How can you help?

We offer 1:1 coaching services to help students earn better grades with less stress. Coaches help improve high school and college students’ executive functioning skills, study strategies, and self-efficacy while reducing school-related stress for teens and their parents.

What can I expect?

We offer a FREE 30 minute consultation for interested parents to discuss your teen’s situation and identify the best next steps to get the support they need. If we determine that coaching together would be a good fit, we’ll match your teen with one of our coaches and get them signed up for a self-assessment and goal-setting session. There is no charge for this initial session, because we believe in giving students a chance to meet their coach and make sure they're on board and excited about working together before we set up their coaching program.

What others say about this coaching program...

“We were headed for a train wreck this fall. Instead, we have a thriving, resilient daughter— with her senior fall, college apps and IB extended essay behind her and new timemanagement skills to carry her forward. And she’s getting straight As! Wow!” “I cannot tell you how happy my husband and I are about the change in his attitude toward school. He is embracing the idea of wanting to learn the material, and we have seen his grades soar! It is wonderful to see him studying days in advance, rather than waiting until the day before.”

“I graduated magna cum laude! This would not have been possible without having learned from you how to study, be organized, and plan for school.”

Want to download my Teens + Technology Distractions guide for FREE?

Coming Soon

Watch our YouTube Channel for a conversation with Dr, Wray!

How can I find you?

Schedule your FREE consultation!

Connect here!

MS , n a g a e R les y L a r u a L

TEEN AND PARENT RELATIONSHIP WHISPERER AND SOCIOLOGIST

What do you do?

I work with parents and teens individually and together to cultivate a more peaceful home by communicating heart to heart. My approach is called conscious cocreation which focuses on growing the awareness and skills that parents and teens need to jointly build the relationship that works for both.

What issues do you deal with?

Tweens, Teens and Young Adults dealing with parent problems, substance abuse, homework hassles, digital dangers and dating Parents in conflict, dealing with substance abuse, navigating divorce, single parenthood and empty nests

How can you help?

I offer online group coaching or individual coaching packages. I have also written a book with sample conversations of conscious communication titled, How to Raise Respectful Parents

What can I expect?

No blame, just support, skills building and a few suggestions for a complicated world! I offer a free introductory phone session. If we are a match, you can enter private coaching or online group coaching.

Contact me at 956-250-3689 or email, Laura@LauraLReagan.com.

What other parents say about me Laura has helped me tremendously as a parent coach! My teen son and I were estranged following difficulties with his father. And the counselor we were going to, was unable to coach me to be able to reach my teen, beyond the fences and hurt walls that he'd placed between us. Laura stepped in and with great kindness, understanding and wisdom, was able to get me to change my entire approach to parenting my teen son. Our relationship underwent a radical change as I started implementing her suggestions and advice, and he and I are now affectionate with each other, communicating about big and small matters, without any blocks, and building trust again, thanks to Laura's knowledge and coaching, she has so professionally, kindly and generously shared with me.

Priya B., mother of teen son Laura was a Godsend to me. With all I learned, I feel a sense of calm empowerment for the first time in YEARS! I even feel a sense of calm about my teens’ future. Before, I felt my life was flooded in chaos, but she helped me practice positive communication skills that conveyed my heart. I always looked forward to our next session. I highly recommend her!

Linda E., mother of twin teen daughters

Get the book

Communication with your Teen

How can I find you?

You can connect with me here.

Se habla espanol

Click here to pick up your free gift: Conflict Free Communication Checklist

Hey Parents!

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