Fall 2020
PARENTGUIDE
taking care of you during a PANDEMIC
ways to keep your sh*t together
HOW TO STOP
YELLING working with a
Parent Coach
SPECIAL EDITION COVID-19 PRINTABLES
WELCOME Welcome to the Fall Edition! I am so happy to see you here...thank you for spending a few minutes with us! Within the pages of this magazine you will find: unique parenting perspectives a community of love and support articles that answer your toughest questions and resources that you can count on Each of the contributors in this magazine will provide you with their best advice and remind you that you are not alone! We aren’t here to preach and tell you what to do - we are here to love and encourage you on your journey - your unique journey. Please consider reaching out to other parents in our Facebook Group. You don’t know who might need to hear from you, as well as what ideas may resonate with you and make your life as a parent just a bit easier. See you inside.
Jennifer XOXO Jennifer, Mom and Founder of Parent Guide.
P.S. If you are a parent of a teen you will want to check out our new TEEN issue. Click here to access it now! 50 Happy Parenting! 69
PARENTGUIDE 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentcoach.club
THANK YOU! I don't even know where to start when I think about how grateful I am to be here, with you, doing what I love, day in and day out! And, you...here, taking time out of your crazy, busy day to spend time with us! Grateful doesn't even begin to express how I feel! And, I really want to get to know you all better. So, here are a few ways that we can stay connected, work together, and if I am lucky, maybe we can even become friends!Â
Jennifer McCallum Founder of Parent Guide
Let's Connect Are you a Parent Coach? Become a Parent Coach Club Member Connect with parents and other Parent Coaches. Build your business and surround yourself with others that lift you up and support you! https://www.parentcoach.club/ Want to write for us? We are always looking for new ideas, new perspectives, and expert advice for our parent community. We talk about real issues for modern parents. No fluff - just good, solid advice, examples, stories, and ideas to help make parenting just a bit easier. Contact me at: info@parentguide.ca
PARENTGUIDE 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentguide.ca
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WHAT'S INSIDE 04 COVID Printables 09 Habits of Confident Moms 12 8 Ways to Have Fun 14 Deborah Porter 16 Taking Care of You 19 How to Keep your Sh*t Together
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20 Toss yourself a line 22 Calm yourself 24 Choose your battles 26 Speak with kindness 28 Adjust your expectations 30 Recharge 32 Breathe 34 Mind map family fun
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36 What is Parent Coaching? 38 Pray 40 Meditate 42 Find joy 46 Have a mantra 48 Calm down 50 Notice the behaviour
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52 Lynn Turcotte-Schuh 54 Family Meetings 56 How to Stop YELLING! 58 Is it a Fever? 60 Parent Resources 65 Marketplace
PARENTGUIDE 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentguide.ca
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C O V ID- 1 9
PRINTABLES
THE HABITS OF CONFIDENT MOMS BY DEBORAH PORTER, PARENT COACH
Confident Moms By: Deborah Porter, Parent Coach The drive to be perfect in all areas of our lives is real. But none more real than in the role of mother. What if we looked at it differently? What if we trusted our own gut instinct about what is right for our children and families without the concern of the IG mom who seems to be doing everything perfectly? Although the goal of being “Supermom” sounds rewarding and accomplished, it is also exhausting and at times unfulfilling. Here’s what we often forget - each of us have areas of strengths, gifts and expertise. What if we began leveraging our gifts with other moms? Perhaps both of our loads would be lighter.
...confident moms have certain traits and tendencies in common, and perfection is not one of them.
Another trait of confident moms is how they value and invest in self care. What I’ve come to realize is that confident moms have certain traits and tendencies in common, and perfection is not one of them. The confident mom realizes that the goal of perfection is a great way to get distracted from doing anything at all. Setting the goal of perfection can be paralyzing and leave us spinning our wheels while doing the same tasks over and over again. It can also have us feeling frustrated and overwhelmed when others in our home don’t have the same precision in folding towels or loading the dishwasher or any other task you can think of. I had to realize it didn’t have to be done like I do it for it to be done.
Download your FREE copy of 7 Habits of a Confident Mom
It’s not a catch phrase or manipedi, but in fact, it is a big rock that can’t be shoved in after everything else. It simply won’t fit. In my new ebook, 7 Habits of a Confident Mom, I provide an outline of not only the habits of these moms, but also provide an opportunity to create the space and practice for new habits to form in each of us. Use the prompts and questions at the end of each habit to create a new routine for yourself. New habits can form when two things happen; intentionality and a decision.
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8 WAYS TO HAVE FUN AT HOME DURING A PANDEMIC BY APARNA VENKATARAMAN
Aparna Venkataraman is the founder of Beauty In Parenting and is a parent coach for babies, toddlers & teens who focuses on helping families feel more flow, joy and ease through sensory self-care, effective communication, meditation and breathwork and a mindset of empowerment. She values kindness, compassion, gratitude, motivation and humor through her coaching and sessions - download her free Calm & Clarity Guide to find focus at: bit.ly/ConfidentParent and learn more at: www.beautyinparenting.com
I know it can be not easy having less human interaction right now and also feeling worried about the future! During this pandemic, my family and I have transitioned from rearranging schedules with working from home to ways to incorporate new activities into our alreadyexisting weekly routines. I find that we are all happiest, sleep best, feel well and are most in tune communication-wise (a.k.a. less arguing, door slamming and stress) when we try to:
Laugh more about the little things (the inside jokes, things that come up daily) Move our bodies daily (individually or together) and actually honoring each family member's exercise plans (for example, one person may love the exercise bike twice a day while another enjoys time alone walking in nature or gardening) Have music on somewhere in our day (soft music during snack breaks/work; louder music during fun moments) Have a weekly theme or project that we can have fun with by the end of the week when we get really bored (and that may even build on communication and fine/gross motor skills for physical development) - this can be repurposing or creating something new
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8 MORE WAYS TO HAVE FUN AT HOME DURING A PANDEMIC!
CREATE
GIVE BACK
NEW SKILLS
DANCE
GAMES
MOVIE NIGHT
COOK
LEARN
r e t r o P h Debora MOM COACH
What do you do? I support moms who feel overwhelmed and lost in motherhood and at times wonder who they are. The girl you were before having kids, her dreams and goals still matter. We get to work creating the strategies and systems that will support you in creating the atmosphere you want and a life that you love.
What issues do you deal with? Overwhelm, Faith, Confidence, Finding Peace, Raising Daughters/Sons
How can you help? I provide strategies and systems to help you gain the clarity you seeking on what needs to be done, building confidence in yourself and your instincts as a mom and woman and finding the courage to determine what it is you need and how to get it.
What can I expect? I offer a FREE 30 min. strategy call after filling out the application to work with me. If we decide to work together, we will begin scheduling calls and I will provide you access to the curriculum. Apply here: bit.ly/letschatmom
About me... I am the wife of my college sweetheart Clif, for 30 years and mother of 3 adult children 29, 25, 23 and a bonus son. Currently, a regular guest contributor on Virginia This Morning on CBS WTVR and you can read my guest blogs on CollegiateParent here https://www.collegiateparent.com/author/debor ah-porter/ . We are enjoying the empty nest phase and love when we get to spend time with our adult children.
All about Deborah! How can I find you?
TAKING CARE OF YOU IN A
PANDEMIC BY: DANA BAKER-WILLIAMS, PARENT AND TEEN COACH Right now it is really hard to relax and it's even harder to get a moment alone. In fact, in normal, non-pandemic times mom's only average 17 minutes alone anyway! But with everyone around all the time, I know I feel like that has shrunk to a negative number! That said, It's essential that we do care for ourselves— first, for our own well-being, but also because self-care also has huge payoffs for our kids. When we"fill their own cups," we have more patience, energy, and passion to share with our families. But there's even a more important reason--our kids are watching. If we don't do things for ourselves, make time for what's important to us, that's what they learn. That they aren't important and they should not come high on their own lists. This was brought home to me by my daughter yesterday.
She was at her internship and texted to say she's be staying a few extra hours. I knew she had things she wanted to do, so I said "you do know you can say no right?" She replied, yeah i guess but I feel so bad saying no. And boom--that goes right back onto my shoulders. Why? Because I am terrible at saying no. Terrible! Know something else I'm terrible at? Taking time for me, taking care of myself. My kids always say that. Thankfully my husband is very good at taking time for himself. So I was hoping we'd balance out....
Anyway, here are a few ideas to help you take care of you! When you get up in the morning, set yourself up for a good day. How do we do that? Here are three quick things to do. 1. Say 3 Things you are Exceedingly Grateful For - This sets your mindset. People are often said to “wake up on the wrong side of the bed,” but this gets you focused in a positive place and puts you in a solid mindset. 2. Say Two Things You Want To Crush That Day - What are two things you really want to get done or knock out of the park? You cannot hit a target if you don’t know what it is. Be specific and clear. 3. Close Your Eyes and Visualize - Picture yourself leaving your home, having good interactions, and getting things done. There is a reason that sports psychologists use visualization with athletes - it makes the outcomes more likely.
Design Your Morning Ritual What else could make you feel motivated and excited for the day? Think about including the following aspects: meditation, morning journaling or affirmations. Or simply listen to your favorite music while getting ready or sitting down with a cup of tea for 5 minutes to plan your day — whatever it is that gets you in the right mindset to tackle anything that comes your way.
"SAY 3 THINGS YOU ARE EXCEEDINGLY GRATEFUL FOR"
Relax and De-stress Super quick! 1. Find an essential oil or natural scent that makes you breath deeply it's so good. Lavender lotion, a peppermint candle, or some cedarwood dabbed on your temples or in a diffuser are great ways to nourish your soul. 2. Read a book - Maybe curl up with a blanket and a book instead of your phone. 3. Go for a Walk - Take a lunch time walk or a 5 min break at work to get some fresh air. 4. Stretch - We store tension and stress in our bodies and it takes a toll. Try downward dog or some full body stretch. Releasing the kinks makes a huge difference in how my body--and mind--feels. 5. Make yourself a nice drink like chamomile tea, hot chocolate, or juice—
and sip it slowly.
Do Something That Makes You Smile No explanation needed here. Figure out what makes you smile and make that a daily practice.
Schedule Soul Time What makes you feel cozy? Maybe it’s taking a bubble bath, reading or enjoying a good glass of wine. Maybe its even something like building a cozy nest fort that you can enjoy with or without your kids. Try spending some time with a friend;. Zoom, go for a walk or meet in your backyard, 6 feet apart. We all need time with our friends. Make a list of some of your favourite things and try to make one happen each week. Sometimes having a great day can be as simple as being open to it. Like what you read and want to know more? You can connect with Dana here!
How do I keep my sh*t together? DURING ISOLATION
WORKING AT HOME WHILE RAISING YOUR KIDS TIPS AND ACTION STEPS FROM PARENTING EXPERTS ACROSS THE WORLD
TIP # 1
f l e s r u o Y s Tos a Line Claire Cetti, Parent Coach for MOMpreneurs
Toss Yourself a Line, Times are tough right now and it can be SO easy to get caught up in the moments of frustration, overwhelm and chaos of it all. “Tossing yourself a line” is to add a phrase or word to your current line of thought when you are having a hard time that elicits hope and possibility for you in the moment. Some words to add might be “right now” or “yet” at the end of your thought / emotion / sentence. "I can’t afford this...RIGHT NOW." "I am so angry this isn’t working....YET" "I am frustrated with my child.....RIGHT NOW” Adding “right now” or “yet” can help put an end in sight to your frustration, negative thought or emotion you are fully in at the moment. It will provide you the strength to walk through the tough moment and out the other side into a more calm and re-connected state.
About Claire Cetti, Claire is a mama of 4 and has been working with parents for over 10 years both at a college health and counseling center and as a PCI Certified Parent Coach®. Claire helps MOMpreneurs and couples feel more in control, calm and connected with their kids and within their family. She does this through 1x1 coaching, group coaching and workshops.
Connect with Claire here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 2
d n a f l e s r u Calm Yo Connect Tia Fagan, Certified Parent Coach Specializing in Transitions
Calm Yourself & Connect, In quarantine you may be feeling more overwhelm, frustration, or anger with yourself, your child/teen, or your partner than usual. Practice this 3-step process to access your inner calm and re-connect. Remember P.E.A.s on Earth…or should we say P.E.A.s during Quarantine! 1. P: Pause Take 3 deep breaths (inhale for a count of 3, exhale for a count of 7). After 3 deep breaths, identify the most prominent feeling you are experiencing? Your Feeling: ____________ 2. E: Explore What may your child/teen need from you right now? Child/Teen’s Need: _______________ 3. A: Action What is the action step you can take to connect now that you have identified your own feeling and your child/teen’s need? Some ideas - being playful, giving space, making a snack, going for a walk, active listening, a hug, etc. Action Step: _________________
About Tia Fagan. Tia Fagan is a Conscious Parenting MethodTM Certified Coach that specializes in supporting families navigate transitions by guiding them through a 5-step process that helps them S.H.I.F.T. from surviving to thriving. Tia’s passion is helping parents strengthen relationships, increase connection, and improve communication with their children of all ages. Coaching and support can be done virtually or in person.
Connect with Tia here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 3
r u o y e s o o Ch Battles Dana Baker-Williams, Parent and Teen Coach
Choose your Battles, One tip that my clients love that works beautifully is Step Away From the Stove—your kid being the stove. Would you move closer to touch a burning stove? You step away, so you don't get burned! So if your child or teen is in a bad mood or pushing your buttons, walk away. Don't engage; choose your battles because not everything is worth the pain. So be flexible when you can and avoid setting rules your kids can't easily follow. A chronically messy teen might have real trouble immediately maintaining a spotless bedroom. So if that's not crucial to you, let it go. Remember, you can always close his door.
About Dana Baker-Williams. As a parent coach I’m here to support you and help you parent through any challenges with confidence and calm. My mission is to help you connect and bring laughter and joy back into your home. I take a practical, positive approach to parenting which means no added stress, guilt or pressure. Because no matter how hard we try, none of us is a prefect parent.
Connect with Doreen here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 4
s s e n d n i K h t i w k a e p S e c i o h C a and offer Kim Muench, Parent Coach
Speak with Kindness and offer a choice, So much of our lives have changed in the past few weeks, we’re all feeling a loss of control to some degree. Yet even with the extreme change of schedule and pace, there are still things that need to get done, right? Here is the best way I have found to ask my kids (any age) to do something that they likely won’t want to do. It’s all in the presentation. These four little words always make things go much smoother. Ready…here they are: Would you be willing; this is better than “Please” better than “Do this now!” Would you be willing is a kinder approach and helps them believe they have a choice in the matter. For example: (said with sincerity), “Would you be willing to set the table or to make the noodles for the spaghetti?”
About Kim Muench. Kim Muench, Jai Institute for Parenting Certified Parent Coach, is a mother to five kids ages 15-32. She works with parents of adolescents, especially those raising kids with mental health or substance use challenges. Supporting and encouraging moms and dads to parent with intention and guidance rather than fear and control, her work is done through one-on-one coaching via Zoom.
Connect with Kim here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 5
r u o y t s Adju s n o i t a t c Expe Sonja Montiel, College Confidence
Adjust your Expectations, THE STRUGGLE: Parents are confused and worried about how distance learning will impact their students' future opportunities. As schools adjust their curriculum, families feel like they are winging it. TIP:Follow these 3 tips to regain control of your teen's learning experience and expectations at home: #1: Take it day by day...and work with what you have. Everyone knows resources and time is highly limited, and families are doing their best. #2: This term will not be graded...schools and colleges worldwide understand that this term is an exception, and will not be emphasizing grades or test scores for this term. #3: Stay connected...with your school district and local colleges to get a pulse about how they are supporting students.
About Sonja Montiel. Sonja has 20 years of college admissions experience being an admissions officer for the University of California system, leading a private high school's counseling department, and running her own practice as an independent college counselor. Through counseling and courses, Sonja builds meaningful connections between parents and their teens as they navigate college admissions and other options after high school.
Connect with Sonja here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 6
e g r a h c e R Aparna Venkataraman, Parent Coach
Recharge, When we tap into what our minds and bodies need - we feel recharged! 3 quick ways to recharge: 1) LISTEN: Place your hand on your heart and close your eyes - listening to your heartbeat gives yourself that feeling of warmth, comfort, oxytocin, and you are tuned inward to honor your own body's support system 2) SMELL: Inhale a scent: Whether it is an essential oil, fruit or fresh air - using your senses sends a signal to your brain that you want to feel relaxed (florals and herbs, uplifted (citruses and mints invigorate) or even balanced (trees help us to feel supported and steady) 3) TOUCH: Hands-on activities such as playdough, baking, creating collage art, or anything that uses your fine motor skills (hands and fingers) release stress - just the sensation of a new material helps you feel great because you are in creation mode!
About Aparna Venkataraman. With 15 years of experience guiding families in schools, hospitals & non-profits, Aparna Venkataraman is a parent coach, meditation teacher, motivational speaker and essential oils educator - she loves to help families find and feel more flow, joy and ease! Her areas of expertise are: self-care, mindfulness, communication and creative sensory activities
Connect with Aparna here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 7
e h t a e r B Janet Taylor, Parent Coach
Breathe, This tip comes in handy when the "wrong" emotions want to take over what we know we want to be saying. In yoga it is called box breathing, but also referred to as tactical breathing or 4 by 4 breathing. It is also a great tip to share with your children and they can practice it when they are anxious, stressed, overwhelmed or angry. 1. Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four. 2. Hold that same breathe for another count of four. 3. Slowly exhale through your mouth, contracting your stomach for another count of four. 4. Hold your empty breathe for a count of 4.
About Janet Taylor. I have a 6 step program to support parents dealing with a child who is self-harming. This program has been put together from the experiences I have lived through over the last 7 years with my oldest daughter. I have made it my mission to ensure no parent have to deal with this situation alone. Ever.
Connect with Janet here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 8
p a M d n i M n u F y l i Fam Sharon Roberts, Dyslexia Coach
Mind Map, Looking for a fun and creative way for your family to “get it together�? Mind mapping may be the answer. Tony Buzan, the creator of mind mapping, claims his methods are most conducive to creative thinking and memory as the curvy colourful lines dotted with images are more easily absorbed. Begin with a picture for your central idea. An image is worth a thousand words, and keeps you focused. You have a stronger recall of images. Make your branches curved rather than straight-lined. Curves is immensely satisfying and pleasing to our brains. Each main branch should have its own colour as colours have been proven to form strong association with words and concepts and create stronger neural paths when forming memories and new concepts. Connect your main branches to the central image and connect your second- and thirdlevel branches to the first and second levels because your brain works by association. It is incredibly powerful to link two (or three, or four) things together as it creates new neural pathways in your thought process.
About Sharon Roberts. Sharon helps children with learning differences learn to focus and find success in life. She does this by offering an online, drugfree, creative 5-day proven program.
Connect with Sharon here for a FREE 30 minute call.
WHAT IS A PARENT COACH?
A parent coach is a person who helps parents with challenges they may have while they are raising their kids. Parent Coaches work with specific behaviours by offering unique perspectives around family situations. Parent Coaches help uncover the root of the issue and offer strategies to shift behaviour and relationships within the family. Parent Coaches help families achieve their goals either in person, or online through group or individual sessions. FIND A COACH AT WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA âŽ&#x;31
WHEN YOU NEED HELP
FIND A PARENT COACH Gone are the days of shame when you mention 'your therapist'. If you are having a difficult time dealing with all the stresses of the world, seek help from one of the many qualified parent coaches and counsellors in your area.
WHERE TO LOOK www.ParentCoach.Club Search by professional, location, pricing, and topic Support offered in person and online.
TIP # 9
Pray Doreen Steenland Christian Parent Coach
Pray, Our brains are wired to detect threats and protect you from the threat!
Your brain is doing what it was created by God to do! God created your brain, your emotions and has given you direction as to how to manage them! You can manage the way your brain is reacting and take your thoughts captive in obedience to Christ, even in the midst of stress! Take Captive your Thoughts in obedience to Christ: 1. Pause, Pray, breathe deeply. 2. Notice and Discover what situations trigger your reaction. 3. Discover what part of your body is giving you clues (neck, shoulders, stomach, chest?) 4. Ask internal questions: What am I feeling right now? What is the wise response? What is beneath the surface? Remember: ONE thing you can control is YOUR OWN THINKING. God promises peace for the one who chooses to place their gaze on Him! Phil. 4:4-9
About Doreen Steenland. Doreen is a Christian parent coach for parents of teens & tweens at Living Full Life Coaching. She empowers parents to connect with and successfully launch their teens in spite of the drama, helping Moms find themselves in the process. Ride the Waves Mama parenting membership is open for enrollment!
Connect with Doreen here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 10
e t a t i d e M Casey O'Roarty, Parent Coach
Meditate, What is keeping me sane during this weird time of quarantine and uncertainty is taking time to nurture me. Many of us go to the gym or exercise to work out our bodies... I find that a practice of stillness and meditation is the workout I need to work out my mind. And isn't the mind working overtime these days??? This practice increases our ability to be aware of our emotional experience, and create the pivot we want to be more in response and less in reaction. How to Meditate: 1. Decide what the best time of day is for you to take time alone 2. Sit comfortably with your eyes closed 3. Bring your attention to your breath 4. Notice the thoughts and beliefs that pull at your attention, and come back to focusing on the sensation of breathing 5. Do this for however long you want 6. Trust that this practice matters
About Casey O'Roarty. Casey O'Roarty is a Positive Discipline Trainer, Coach, Podcast host, wife and mother to two teens that teach her every day the importance of her meditation practice. She supports parents all over the world on their journey of becoming ever more evolved humans as they navigate the path of raising kids.
Connect with Casey here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 11
y o J d n i F Sheri Gazitt, Parent Coach
You C.A.N. find Joy, C-CREATE the time and space for joy. When you or your kids are feeling overwhelmed, it can be easy to try to schedule and control everything. It’s important to include a time for goofing off and having downtime that can turn into moments of joy. A-When your kids are feeling silly and happy, it’s important to ALLOW that organic moment to happen. The silly moments boost their happy brain and let them get through the next assignment or to combat the big feelings. N-NOTICE the small joyful moments. It might be the hummingbird flying by or the belching contest in the next room. There are small joyful moments that happen every day. You just have to notice them. What is a joyful moment that happened today? How did you feel in that moment?
About Sheri Gazitt. Coach Sheri is dedicated to helping teens and parents through the difficult ups and downs of adolescence. She advocates for teen mental wellness by advising foundations, appearing on TV and Radio shows, and writing for magazines. Coach Sheri also provides private coaching for teen girls and their parents who need help finding their inner joy, taming stress, claiming their confidence, and navigating friendships.
Connect with Sheri here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 12
a r t n a M Have a Jane Evans, Parent Coach
Have a Mantra, During this time of uncertainty your wonderful brain may be playing up a bit! Fortunately, your body is your best resource for creating a calm moment. Regularly place your hand gently on it - the heart area can be soothing. Breathe slowly in through your nose and imagine that air floating down to your toes. Breathe out slowly through your mouth and let the air and all your emotions go. Say to yourself a soothing phrase, "I am safe, I am safe" can be a good one.
A simple practice like this is vital to your mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. It tops all of them up gently and effectively. Do it when you wake up, in the shower, any old time so your whole system learns it and welcomes it. Then it will become a wonderful tool for these uncertain, often draining times as a parent, and for the rest of your days.
About Jane Evans. Every parent Jane has ever worked with has taught her something. Every interaction with every child and young person Jane has cared for and worked with has too. You deserve this expertise from Jane's 26 years of direct work and learning on the job and from her all she has learned from the studying the amazing work of a range of world experts in brain and body science. Well-known as an author of children's books covering complex topics like living in a stormy home to how brains work.
Connect with Jane here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 13
5-4-3-2-1 n w o D m l Ca Cai Graham, Parent Coach
5-4-3-2-1 Calm Down, This is a great exercise to use when your mind is in chaos and you’d like to calm things down a bit. It’s really effective when your are feeling : Overwhelmed Anxious Big Emotions Nervous
What you need to do is calm the confusion in your head, so that you can think more clearly.
This exercise is FAST and EASY.
5 : List 5 things that you can SEE. Look around you. 4 : List 4 things that you can TOUCH; that are within your reach. 3 : List 3 things that you can HEAR. NOTICE : That your mind is calming down? 2 : List 2 things that you can SMELL. 1: List 1 thing that you can TASTE. Well Done! Just sit and assess your thoughts and feelings. NOTICE : That because you put the brakes on your old way of thinking - that you are feeling calmer and more in control.
About Cai Graham. Cai Graham is a Parenting & Teen Coach, Speaker and Amazon #1 bestselling author of The Teen Toolbox. Cai specializes in supporting families overcoming obstacles; including communication issues, loss and trauma, so that they can enjoy a brighter future.
Connect with Cai here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 14
s i t a h w e c i Not r u o i v a h e b e h t d n i h e b Ashley Seling, Parent Coach
What's behind the Behaviour, Your child isn’t misbehaving, they’re finding a way to BELONG. Here’s a few top needs based on unfavorable behaviors: Annoying behaviors and/or excessive whining Child is looking for attention. Involve child usefully in tasks. Give hugs and spend quality time together without distractions. Defiance Child is looking for power. Give them choices and let them help make decisions on things that affect them. Seeking revenge Child is hurting. Listen and validate hurt feelings to help your child feel heard and a sense of belonging. Help your child brainstorm ideas to feel better. Lack of motivation/Not taking action Child feels like giving up. Simplify tasks and show child small steps. Tell your child you have faith in their abilities.
It is much easier to heal the belief behind the behavior instead of the behavior itself!
About Ashley Seling Ashley Seling is a Certified Parenting Educator and New Mom Coach. She mentors’ moms to cultivate a stronger relationship with themselves and their children to create happy homes + childhoods. Using her four-step process, she guides moms to balance being kind and establish healthy boundaries with their children, so they become respectful and successful in their lives.
Connect with Ashley here for a FREE 30 minute call.
h u h c S e t t o c r u T Lynn C H I L D B I R T H E D U C A T O R , L A C T A T I O N COUNSELOR, PARENTING COACH
What do you do? I offer an online membership group and coaching for parents from pregnancy through elementary school.
What issues do you deal with? Connection, Finding Peace, Leadership, Overwhelm, Tantrums, LGBTQ+
How can you help? I provide tools and coaching to help you create strong, positive relationships through small moments of connection.
What can I expect? After you join the AHMC (our online membership group), you will have full access to my library of resources and signature courses, two group coaching calls each week and a 10% discount on Private Coaching.
What my clients say about me... "Thanks for being such a positive force for Mamas everywhere!" Allison "It has been so refreshing to have you be so open and honest and provide a safe place for Mamas to turn." Lauren "After just a few weeks working with Lynn, there is more peace and joy in our household. I feel more patient and connected to my daughters. It's like we're a whole new family." Nicole "After completing a free workshop with Lynn, my husband said 'Wow, she's good'. We've been successfully implementing her recommendations and engaging in the online community ever since...and our entire family is better for it!" Tara
Connection in Parenting How can I find you?
TIP # 15
y l i m a F d l Ho Meetings Leslie Josel, ADHD Academic Coach
Hold Family Meetings, Have a family meeting every evening to go over everyone’s schedule for the next day. How to hold a Family Meeting: Create an agenda where everyone can add their topics (we post ours on the fridge) Assign a different Chairperson each meeting Assign someone to take notes Start with a positive and end with a fun family activity Show respect and allow each person to speak Involve everyone Family Meetings create life-long social skills including: listening skills problem-solving skills teamwork building skills communication skills and much more!
About Leslie Josel, Leslie Josel is an academic/life coach for teens and college students with ADHD and the principal of Order Out of Chaos. She is the creator of the awardwinning Academic Planner: A Tool for Time Management.ÂŽ A respected resource on ADHD and executive functioning in students, Leslie speaks and conducts workshops to parent and educator groups on a variety of topics facing students today.
Connect with Leslie here
DECEMBER 2016
HOW TO STOP YELLING by Claire Cetti, Parent Coach
Wish you could stop yelling at your kids, but just can't? Feeling like yelling is the only way to get your kid's attention, to listen to you? Tired of the frustration, and guilt, you feel after you've lost your cool, yet again? Good news. There IS another way to reach your kids and seek resolution, no matter the situation, by spending time in connection rather than in conflict and coercion. And it begins with you.
Everything we do is a choice. This may be hard to hear, however, to effectively stop yelling the first step is to just stop. Even if you're mid yell, mid- frustration, agitation notice it, see it and choose to STOP. This choice to stop yourself creates the pause necessary to get you, and your brain thinking again. When we are in that space of yelling, frustration, aka trigger, we are hijacked, our brains are NOT thinking clearly. Recognizing our hijacked state is the beginning of turning things around from conflict to connection by way of accessing our brains again.
Wish you could stop yelling at your kids, but just can't?
“Recognizing our hijacked state is the beginning of turning things around from conflict to connection...�
“Choose the relationship with your child over being right.”
Now that you can think clearly, you can now begin to see things clearly, take a look around and ask yourself what’s going on? What’s happening for you? What’s your agenda and what is the problem you are trying to solve? Ask the same questions about your child? They too have their agenda and problem they are trying to solve. By separating you from your child and the two different experiences happening at this moment, you are more able to problem solve OUTSIDE the emotions rather within all the emotions of the conflict together.
Once you understand what’s happening, effectively moving from conflict to connection requires another choice. Remember, everything we do is a choice. Choose the relationship with your child over being right. Yes, parents, you may be “right” and you want your child to know and learn the lesson at this moment. Release the need to be right, right now, and choose to be in a relationship with your child and their experience at this moment. Doing so allows you to flip the script from being about me, for both of you, to WE and how can we see this through, together. This incredibly powerful choice allows you to explore with your child what is happening for them and why. Engaging and authentically seeing your child’s perspective fills their deep need and desire to be seen, heard, validated, and understood, and THIS is what brings them to a place of being more receptive to YOU. It is in this place of connection that any correction, boundary, teaching, or problem you may be trying to solve can be resolved by way of spending this time in connection with your child rather than spending time in conflict. Will this get rid of all tantrums? Meltdowns? Disagreements? No, of course not. Your child is only human and a young one at that. However, these will likely become less intense because of the safety your child will feel from you through the pattern of connection you are creating with them when they are in those moments of big emotions.
Will this stop you from ever getting upset, angry, or triggered? No, you are only human too! However, your ability to recognize the onset of these triggers and your own emotions will likely allow you to more quickly choose the route to be in connection with your child over joining them in that initial place of chaos and conflict - leaving you more calm and confident as a parent and connected with your child.
About Claire Cetti, Parent Coach Claire helps mamas who desire to change the parenting patterns that are not serving them or their kids well, feel more calm, confident, and connected to their kids. You can find Claire here!
Is it Aaquick Fever? fever guide...
PRIN this T page
IS IT A FEVER? When your child is sick they may have a fever. If you
Method
Normal Temperature
think your child has a fever,
Rectum
38°C (100.4°F)
use a thermometer. Your
Mouth
37.5°C (99.5°F)
child has a fever if their
Armpit
37.3°C (99.1°F)
temperature is above the
Ear
38°C (100.4°F)
number listed here:
How to take a temperature: Use one thermometer for rectal and one for taking oral temperatures Do not use glass or mercury thermometers, use digital or
Resources:
plastic thermometers instead
Is it an Emergency?
Forehead thermometers are not as accurate as other
Call 9-1-1 or go to your local
methods for taking temperatures
hospital
For more information on how to correctly take a temperature, visit www.caringforkids.cps.ca
Who to contact if your child has a fever: Babies younger than six months old should see a doctor
Need a Family Doctor? Call Health Care Connect 1-800-445-1822 www.ontario.ca/page/find-
when they have a fever Call your health care provider if your baby is older than six months and the fever does not go away after 72 hours
family-doctor-or-nursepractitioner
(three days), or your baby has a fever combined with a rash or any other signs of illness that worry you Talk to a Registered Nurse, at Telehealth Ontario 1-866797-0000 (TTY: 1-866-797-0007); available 24 hours a day, seven days a week
In an emergency situation, call 9-1-1
What to do if your child has a fever: Babies younger than six months old should see a doctor when they have a fever If your child is older than six months, then give more to drink (such as breast milk or water) Take off extra clothing and blankets, leave enough to avoid shivering check your child's temperature often
What NOT to do if your child has a fever: Do not give medication unless recommended by your health care provider Do not give Aspirin or Acetylsalicylic Acid (ASA) to a child or teenager with a fever Do not use alcohol rubs or baths and sponging with water to lower a child's fever
Other signs your child may be sick: Acting differently (tired, weak, sleepy, loss of appetite, fussy, or a lot of crying) A runny nose Coughing Vomiting Rash Difficulty breathing Diarrhea Change in skin colour (pale or looks yellow)
Want to speak with a Registered Nurse? Call Telehealth Ontario 1-866-797-0000 (TTY: 1-866-797-0007)
Parent Resources Navigating the internet to find the right resources can be a daunting task. We want to make life easier for you!!! Below is a simplified list of where you can start to find the resources across Ontario, Canada. If you are not in Ontario, and you are searching for a resource in your area, contact us at info@parentguide.ca. You are NEVER alone…please reach out, connect with others, find out what your options are, and equip yourself with this list! EMERGENCY 9-1-1 In an emergency, please call 9-1-1 ADDICTION, MENTAL HEALTH, AND PROBLEM GAMBLING SERVICES BounceBack Ontario TOLL-FREE: 1-866-345-0224 www.bouncebackontario.ca BounceBack®: Reclaim your health is a free skill-building program designed to help adults and youth 15+ manage symptoms of depression and anxiety. ConnexOntario 1-866-531-2600 www.connexontario.ca Free and confidential health services information for people experiencing problems with alcohol and drugs, mental illness or gambling. Information and referral service is 24/7, confidential and free.
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ASSAULT AND VIOLENCE Assaulted Women’s Helpline TOLL-FREE 1.866.863.0511 TOLL-FREE TTY 1.866.863.7868 #SAFE (#7233) on your Bell, Rogers, Fido or Telus mobile phone www.awhl.org To provide free, 24/7 crisis counselling, emotional support, information and referrals via telephone to women in up to 200 languages - completely anonymous and confidential. CHILD CARE AND SCHOOLING Ontario Ministry of Education www.ontario.ca/page/ministry-education The Ministry is responsible for early years, child care and publicly funded education from kindergarten to Grade 12. OneList https://onehsn.com/home/childcare Available in most areas across Ontario
COMMUNITY INFORMATION
HEALTH
Call 2-1-1 211ontario.ca 211 is a helpline and website that provides information on and referrals to Ontario’s community, social, health-related and government services.
Health Care Options www.ontario.ca/locations/health Find a family doctor, health unit, mental health supports, walk-in clinics, immunization clinics, hospitals and more.
DISTRESS Distress and Crisis Ontario www.dcontario.org Distress Centres offer support and a variety of services. At a Distress Centre you can find a listening ear for lonely, depressed, and/or suicidal people, usually 24/7. Many centres also have Suicide Survivor programs, support services for youth, telephone call out programs for seniors and vulnerable people, mental health Crisis Lines services and much more.
Telehealth Ontario Toll-free: 1-866-797-0000 Toll-free TTY: 1-866-797-0007 Telehealth Ontario is only offered over the phone. Email advice is not available. Free, confidential service - call to get health advice or information. A Registered Nurse will take your call 24/7. HELP FOR KIDS Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 Text CONNECT to 686868 www.kidshelpphone.ca Kids Help Phone is Canada's only national 24-hour, bilingual and anonymous phone counselling, web counselling and referral service for children and youth. Search their extensive resource list, Phone, live chat, App. HELP FOR POST-SECONDARY STUDENTS Good2Talk 1-866-925-5454, or call 2-1-1 Free, confidential helpline providing professional counselling and information and referrals for mental health, addictions and well-being to post-secondary students in Ontario, 24/7/365.
INFANT FEEDING & NUTRITION LGBTQ+ La Leche League Canada 1-800-665-4324 www.lllc.ca To encourage, promote and provide motherto-mother breastfeeding support and educational opportunities as an important contribution to the health of children, families and society. Public Health www.ontario.ca/locations/health Find a family doctor, health unit, mental health supports, walk-in clinics, immunization clinics, hospitals and more. Telehealth Ontario 1-866-797-0000 TTY: 1-866-797-0007
LGBT YouthLine 1.800.268.9688 www.youthline.ca Youth Line offers confidential and nonjudgemental peer support through our telephone, text and chat services. Get in touch with a peer support volunteer from Sunday to Friday, 4:00PM to 9:30 PM. Check out their amazing list of resources: www.youthline.ca/get-support/linksresources POISON Ontario Poison Centre 1-800-268-9017 www.ontariopoisoncentre.ca Assists if you think that you or someone you love has been exposed to a dangerous substance. SUICIDE If you are in crisis, and you are feeling suicidal, or think someone else is: • Contact your/their doctor • Go to the nearest hospital • Find a local crisis line • Find a mobile crisis team • Call a Distress Centre • Call 911 or Telehealth Ontario at 1-866-797-0000 • 211 • Canadian Mental Health Association • Kids Help Phone
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We are here for you! We are heading into the 6th month of the pandemic and it may not be over for some time yet. If you are wondering how to navigate life right now, please know that we are here for you. Our community of qualified Parent Coaches are ready to support you and walk with you through this challenging time. Reach out to them for a free 30-minute confidential call here!
Some Ideas to support your family during the pandemic... 1. Hold Family Meetings weekly to stay connected and talk about what you like and what you don't like about your time together during the pandemic. 2. Create a contract to include items you want to keep as you move out of isolation. Have everyone from the family sign it. Once the world opens up fully again you may forget the things that you liked; writing it down will help keep you on track. 3. Be careful. Encourage your kids to continue to wash their hands frequently for at least 20 seconds. Notice how often they are touching their face and help them recognize when they are doing this. 4. Be kind. Not everyone will be ready to integrate into 'normal' activities. Never judge or shame someone that is not ready to interact and participate in daily life activities like they did before the pandemic. 5. Stay in touch with your older kids that will be heading back to college or university. These are unprecedented times and they will be doing their best to 'get back to normal' but may need your support to navigate their emotions. 6. Think about how you were not prepared for this pandemic and make a decision to be prepared if it happens again. Pandemic-proof your work, stay healthy, and create a savings account and put money away each month for emergencies such as this.
Our Parent Coaches offer a FREE 30-minute, confidential call! Reach out to them at www.parentcoach.club
If you are struggling with how your life has been affected by the pandemic, reach out for support. Our Parent Coaches can help you work through a range of emotions. They specialize in everything from newborn care, to college success, from toddler tantrums to marriage support and more. Most offer a 30-minute free confidential chat to help you through life during and after the pandemic. Together we will be stronger and more prepared for our new and improved postpandemic lives. Just don't forget that you have all the power and control to create what that life will look like. It is, and always has been, in your hands. Sending love and strength and wisdom to you all! We have learned so much and now it is time to collectively make sure we live our best lives - in our own unique way!
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