ParentGuide - Summer 2021 Edition by Parent Coach Club

SSUMMER 2021

PARENTGUIDE

summer PLANS

what to do when you hear

"I HATE YOU" late-stage pandemic

BURNOUT

working with a

Parent Coach

5 mistakes new moms make

WELCOME Welcome to the Summer Edition! I am so happy to see you here...thank you for spending a few minutes with us! Within the pages of this magazine you will find: unique parenting perspectives a community of love and support articles that answer your toughest questions and resources that you can count on Each of the contributors in this magazine will provide you with their best advice and remind you that you are not alone! We aren’t here to preach and tell you what to do - we are here to love and encourage you on your journey - your unique journey. Please consider reaching out to other parents in our Facebook Group. You don’t know who might need to hear from you, as well as what ideas may resonate with you and make your life as a parent just a bit easier. See you inside.

Jennifer XOXO Jennifer, Mom and Founder of Parent Guide.

P.S. If you are a parent of a teen you will want to check out our new TEEN issue. Click here to access it now! 50 Happy Parenting! 69

PARENTGUIDE 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentcoach.club

THANK YOU! I don't even know where to start when I think about how grateful I am to be here, with you, doing what I love, day in and day out! And, you...here, taking time out of your crazy, busy day to spend time with us! Grateful doesn't even begin to express how I feel! And, I really want to get to know you all better. So, here are a few ways that we can stay connected, work together, and if I am lucky, maybe we can even become friends!

Jennifer McCallum Founder of Parent Guide

Let's Connect Are you a Parent Coach? Become a Parent Coach Club Member Connect with parents and other Parent Coaches. Build your business and surround yourself with others that lift you up and support you! https://www.parentcoach.club/ Want to write for us? We are always looking for new ideas, new perspectives, and expert advice for our parent community. We talk about real issues for modern parents. No fluff - just good, solid advice, examples, stories, and ideas to help make parenting just a bit easier. Contact me at: info@parentguide.ca

PARENTGUIDE 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentcoach.club

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WHAT'S INSIDE 04 Burnout 08 5 Mistakes 13 Find a Parent Coach

14 Dr. Juliet Marciano 16 When the kids say "I hate you!" 18 Kate Garzón 20 Deborah Porter 22 Summer Plans 28 Sylvia Corzato 34 Wanda Robichaud

36 Family Vacations 39 Is it a Fever? 41 Parent Resources 47 Marketplace

PARENTGUIDE 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentcoach.club

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MANAGING LATE-STAGE PANDEMIC BURNOUT Kate Garzón, Parent Educator and Parenting Coach at Guided Parenting Support--GPS, LLC

We're now more than a year into the pandemic, and it seems that the only constant is change. Depending on your country, state, province or even municipality, the rules about where you can go, with whom, and what COVID precautions are required are continually in flux. It's challenging enough for adults to manage the inconsistencies--and we have fully developed frontal lobes and more control over our own lives. For children and teens, it's that much harder because uncertainty, changing rules, and the incredible loss of autonomy and socialization that they've experienced all combine to create big feelings, and they're still developing their emotional self-regulation and coping mechanisms.

Likewise, for adults a year in lock down is approximately 1/40th of the years we've lived so far, a mere 0.025% of our lives. But for a child, this past year is a much larger percentage of their lived experiences…for a five year old, it's a whopping 20% of their time on earth so far! It's realistic that--while they have many memories of life before COVID, and therefore miss everything they used to be able to do--they may have lost the "feel" of what it's like to be out and about without a mask, without worrying about being too close to others, without a bottle of hand sanitizer in their backpack, and without restrictions on roughhousing with friends or hugging family members.

In addition--humans being the wonderful and unpredictable creatures that we are--you might have family and friends who are handling things differently than your household. Perhaps they've already been vaccinated and are starting to open up their lives again; perhaps they're tired of the restrictions and uncertainty and have decided to loosen up their personal precautions; or perhaps they live in places with different rules and you're witnessing their activities on social media and feeling indoordining envy. Whatever the case, it can easily bring up frustration, sadness, disappointment, anger, impatience, jealousy, anxiety, nervousness, etc. in both you and your kiddos.

So, what to do about it? I'm not a medical professional or therapist, so if you or your children are experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety that are prolonged or concerning (check out these sites for credible info: https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmenta lhealth/depression.html, https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/20 19-ncov/daily-life-coping/managingstress-anxiety.html ) then ABSOLUTELY call your doctor, or a local mental health support line. However, if what you're feeling is more of a generalized "When will this end, and what can I and my kids do about it in the mean time?" then I have a few ideas that *may* bring some relief until there's light at the end of the tunnel.

...it can easily bring up frustration, sadness, disappointment, anger, impatience, jealousy, anxiety, nervousness, etc. in both you and your kiddos.

The Job of Parents

In spite of the pandemic, your job as a parent hasn't changed. It is--and has always been--to raise children who become adults who are prepared to be successful in an unknown future. That's it. The unknown future just came a lot sooner than anyone had expected (I guess we *should* have expected it…I mean, it's "unknown" for a reason, right?) The good news is that there are approximately ten thousand ways to do it well, and only a few ways to do it really, really badly. So here's what I can offer you this week, in the category of "Doing it well, during a pandemic."

LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN, TEENS, SPOUSES/PARTNERS/CO-PARENTS WITH GENUINE EMPATHY. This is easier said than done--especially if you're used to being a "fixer," or if you're feeling guilty about how much your children have given up this past year. Resist the urge to go overboard with extra toys/treats/gifts to "make up for it." Instead, accept and acknowledge what they're saying, without feeling the need to "fix" it. A simple "I hear you. It's really hard to know that your cousins are gathering for Easter and we're not going. I'm sorry that we're in this situation, and I'm here for you" goes a long way. Extra hugs and snuggles (if they'll let you) help put actions behind your words. Listening with empathy will allow you to dig deeper into what's really bothering them because you don't have to spend energy trying to defend your position or "cheer them up." For example, your child is angry because their friend is having an indoor birthday party, but your family isn't comfortable with indoor gatherings so they don’t get to go. They may appear to be angry with you as the boundarykeeper, but truly it's the situation that's hurting them. Listening, encouraging them to name their feelings, and letting them get that frustration out in healthy ways will do so much more for their resilience and emotional health in the long run.

PROBLEM-SOLVE TOGETHER, ENCOURAGING YOUR CHILDREN AND TEENS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN SOLUTIONS WHENEVER POSSIBLE. This helps replace some of the control and autonomy that have been lost during the pandemic, and it also takes the pressure off of you, because you don't have to be the Grand Solver of All Problems for Everyone. "Tell me more about that…" and "How can I help?" are two phrases that will encourage dialogue without you needing to have a quick fix at the ready. Along with listening, empathy, and encouraging your kids to express their feelings honestly, asking questions like "Given our family's values and rules, what are some things that you'd like to do this weekend instead of the birthday party?" or "Let's think about some ways that you can show your friend you care about their birthday, even though you won't be at the party" can be helpful. It gives them a voice, and choice, and helps them see that you truly do understand and feel, for them--even while you're holding tight on an important boundary.

MODEL HOW YOU'RE COPING, BY SHARING YOUR OWN THOUGHT PROCESSES OUT LOUD For example, "The rainy weather and grey skies are making me feel melancholy, and kind of trapped in the house. I could really use some fresh air to clear my head and raise my spirits. I'm going to grab my raincoat and head out for a walk--does anyone want to join me?" Or "I'm so disappointed that we can't see Grandma this weekend for her birthday. It makes me really sad that we haven't celebrated these milestones in over a year. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could do something to still make her celebration special? Who has ideas?" By talking things through out loud, you demonstrate that a) feelings are natural and important b) there are healthy ways to express and manage those feelings and c) it moderates your own self-talk because you’re going to be a lot kinder to yourself when you know your children are listening.

You've come so far, and through some really—really—challenging times. The fact that you read this far means you care, and that you're a great parent who is working hard to raise those resilient and successful adults. Be kind to yourselves, be gentle with your children, and know that I'm sending you a HUGE hug from a distance!

5 Mistakes

I MADE AS A NEW MOM By Wanda Robichaud

5 Mistakes I Made as a New Mom and What I Would Do Differently... Let me begin by saying I don't believe in regret. So all of the things listed below aren't really mistakes. These are all just steps on a path that was meant to bring me to where I am right now, which is feeling incredibly grateful and loving life. But if I were to give advice to my former self these were the five times when I would choose to pop in and help that mom out.

Thinking I knew it all when I had one baby This one makes me laugh. I remember those playgroups. I think some of those moms saw me coming and probably ran away. My first son was SUCH A GOOD BABY. I was so blessed (other than the nursing difficulties). My background was working with kids, many with behavior problems. I've always been weirdly obsessed with learning about child development and I wanted to share my wisdom with the world including those poor sleepdeprived moms who were struggling with a baby and a toddler. They just needed someone to listen. They didn't need my advice.

Endlessly Reading Articles on Pinterest I remember those late-night feedings with my second baby. What else to do during that time but browse Pinterest for parenting articles. At the time I saw these as words of wisdom but in reality, it brought me further out of touch with my intuition. I knew what to do. I just didn't believe in myself. Rewards and Punishments Before I had my own children I worked for many years with children who had Autism. Everything we did in our work was based on behavioral psychology. Rewards and punishments. It worked very well and we saw often saw those children progress very quickly. So when I had my own children I thought rewards and punishments were what I should do. What I learned somewhere down the road was that rewards and punishments lead us to look outwardly for external validation rather than following our internal compass. What I would do differently is what I do now. I communicate I support, I validate and I set boundaries. Not setting boundaries when my son was having a hard time A child that is sensitive, strong-willed, and explosive needs a strong adult to make them feel safe and in control. I didn't believe in punishment anymore but I didn't know what else to do. With some help, I learned how to set boundaries in a loving and supportive way. This made all the difference in our relationship.

A child that is sensitive, strongwilled, and explosive needs a strong adult to make them feel safe and in control. By Wanda Robichaud

Not setting boundaries with anyone After the birth of my second son, I was miserable. I thought it was because I was overwhelmed with the laundry and the cleaning and the lack of sleep. But the number one thing that was making me miserable: Not having boundaries with anyone. I didn't know how to ask my husband for help. I didn't know how to ask people for space. I never considered a career path that was outside of the things I felt I would get approval for.

In time I figured it all out. I learned to follow my intuition and set boundaries and it's so rewarding to know that I'm now modeling these things for my children. So in reality I'm happy I am where I am, mistakes and all. If you are ready to start following your intuition as a mom and feel calm and connected with your children reach out to me and book your free call at https://calendly.com/wandazenmama/30-min or find me at www.wandazenmama.com

WHEN YOU NEED HELP

FIND A PARENT COACH Gone are the days of shame when you mention 'your therapist'. If you are having a difficult time dealing with all the stresses of the world, seek help from one of the many qualified parent coaches and counsellors in your area.

WHERE TO LOOK www.ParentCoach.Club Search by professional, location, pricing, and topic. Support offered online.

o n a i c r a M t e i l u J Dr. MINDSET COACH FOR PARENTS

What do you do? As a Mindset Coach for Parents and a PCI Certified Parent Coach®, I help parents gather the information and develop the skills they need to reclaim the joy of parenting, no matter what challenges they face or struggles they encounter, and then lead their family to thrive!

What issues do you deal with?

I support parents of children with special needs and extra needs. This includes any child with a physical, mental, emotional, behavioral, or learning difference or a family going through a challenging situation such as a divorce.

How can you help? My coaching is a strength-based, positive focused process. Using my 6 step “Path to Possibility” I incorporate general parenting topics as well as exploring the concepts of mindfulness, neuroscience, resilience, conscious parenting, problemsolving, motivation, self-care, managing a healthy relationship with digital media and screen technology, and more! The first step involves a shift in mindset and perspective, and we go from there!

What can I expect? We start with a 20 minute complimentary consultation call to discuss your family’s challenges and how your family will benefit from coaching. I offer coaching through phone or video calls in a variety of situations from a 2-hour focused call to a 12-week individual coaching program. As your coach, I am a compassionate, non-judgmental partner who works with you to bring about your family’s transformation! After working with me, parents enjoy their parenting experience more. Not only are they calmer, but they are better able to accept and embrace their children for who they are, build and maintain connection with their children, and feel confident as they face any challenges that arise.

What my client's say about me...

“I wish I had met her 10 years ago! She ‘gets it’ and she understands my struggles and doesn’t judge me for my mistakes.” C. U. -parent of 2 "After working with Juliet, for the first time in a long time, I’m not afraid of our future and I’m enjoying my children!” J. H.- parent of 2 “Working with Juliet gave me hope that my children will be ok, even with all the challenges we are facing as a family.” S. M. Parent of 2 “Before we finished the first call, I was feeling better already!” M.H. “Juliet has always been so helpful, caring, and knowledgeable when guiding me through some challenging parenting times. She has helped me to understand, that my job is to help my kids figure out who they are, at their core, and to support them in being the best version of themselves. With Jul’s coaching, I have become a more confident parent.” - H.P. - Mother of 2

All about Dr. Juliet! How can I find you?

Book a Call! Click here!

I HATE YOU!

By Ashley Ladouceur, G.R.E.A.T. Parenting

Remember parenting in the middle of toddlerhood and feeling like the tantrums were so overwhelming you just couldn't wait until your child was able to tell you how they feel? For some of you, that stage might be today, or you may have moved on to the next stage.

Let’s take a breath outside the moment and think about what is really going on here.

The stage where the tantrums look less like flailing to the ground and crying, but instead lashing out by cutting you right to your core. Nothing prepares you for the first time your child says “I hate you!”.

What is more likely going on for your child is that they are having big feelings around something in their lives and are unsure how to express it. Feeling so badly in that moment that they feel the only way for you to truly understand is to feel the same way. So they lash out. They scream hurtful things to the ones they feel the safest with.

Does your child really hate you? Likely not. Are you a bad parent because your child is showing aggression towards you? No. Are you the only one? Absolutely not!

So what do you do when they lash out and it hurts? First, understand that you are allowed to have your own feelings. The small being you love most in this world just said “I hate you”. Try not to hear these words as they are but instead hear “I want you to understand how I feel!” Now you can take a step back, take a long, deep breath and show up for your child with empathy instead of hurt. Identify how your child might be feeling at that moment. It is okay to get it wrong, let them correct you and keep trying. “Wow, you are very angry with me right now! I am here.” Restate the conflict to your child. “Wow, you are so very angry with me! I am here. You wanted to go to the park and I said no. That is so hard.” Remember your child is just having a hard time expressing their feelings at this moment and needs your support. By helping them understand what they may be feeling and repeating it back to them, you let them know you hear them and want to understand their feelings. If you are noticing that the tantrums are more explosive and lasting longer, download my FREE guide to de-escalating the Tantrums below, where I use the G.R.E.A.T. Parenting Journey to work through larger outbursts! You got this!

Click here to download the guide to De-escalating the Tantrums!

. d E . M , n zó Kate Gar GUIDED PARENTING SUPPORT--GPS

How can you help? I offer online and in-person private coaching sessions, and both virtual and live parent education courses and workshops.

What can I expect? We will begin with a complimentary, 30-minute Discovery Call to get to know each other. Following that, we will use a simple and collaborative five-step process to identify and prioritize your concerns and create a roadmap for success that keeps YOU in the driver's seat of your family.

What other parents are saying about GPS... “Simply put, Kate is the Child Whisperer. She has an innate ability to zero in on root cause – and proposes easy, no-stress solutions for managing challenging situations." -Parent of 2- and 4-year-olds "Kate Garzón is a gifted educator—both of children and parents. By the end of our first conversation, she had provided me with a concrete and helpful plan that I could implement immediately. It’s difficult to say, ‘I feel like I’m missing something here. This is my kid, but I just can’t see the solution.’ Kate made me feel heard, empowered, supported. I left our conversation feeling better about myself as a parent and confident in the road ahead.” -Parent of three children ages 8, 6, and 10 months “As a mother of two teenagers, the landscape of parenting is everchanging. Kate is an incredible resource who always makes me feel equipped with the tools during this period. Most importantly she provides guidance and an understanding of their needs and development. Her coaching is approachable and always empowering - as a parent I feel more confident in my role thanks to her.”-Parent of 13- and 15-year-olds

Healthy Screen Time Habits How can I find you?

r e t r o P h Debora MOM COACH

What do you do? I support moms who feel overwhelmed and lost in motherhood and at times wonder who they are. The girl you were before having kids, her dreams and goals still matter. We get to work creating the strategies and systems that will support you in creating the atmosphere you want and a life that you love.

What issues do you deal with? Overwhelm, Faith, Confidence, Finding Peace, Raising Daughters/Sons

How can you help? I provide strategies and systems to help you gain the clarity you seeking on what needs to be done, building confidence in yourself and your instincts as a mom and woman and finding the courage to determine what it is you need and how to get it.

What can I expect? I offer a FREE 30 min. strategy call after filling out the application to work with me. If we decide to work together, we will begin scheduling calls and I will provide you access to the curriculum. Apply here: bit.ly/letschatmom

About me... I am the wife of my college sweetheart Clif, for 30 years and mother of 3 adult children 29, 25, 23 and a bonus son. Currently, a regular guest contributor on Virginia This Morning on CBS WTVR and you can read my guest blogs on CollegiateParent here https://www.collegiateparent.com/author/debor ah-porter/ . We are enjoying the empty nest phase and love when we get to spend time with our adult children.

All about Deborah! How can I find you?

MAKING PLANS FOR THE SUMMER By Sonja Montiel

It was Spring Break and I felt bad. I didn’t have time to plan any activities for my twelve-year-old, Gaby. Besides, I would reason, COVID times created limitations of things to do, which would have required more planning than usual. So, I didn’t plan a thing. Gaby had to figure it out. Why is this ironic coming from me? As a veteran college counselor of twenty plus years, I should be a part of a culture where being busy meant good things – kids are honing in on an interest, practicing a skill, crafting a talent, mastering something, perhaps a passion, perhaps a cure for something. Investing time (and money) on programs, activities, events, trips, classes outside of school should fulfill the promise that keeping our kids busy now will lead to great opportunities later.

However, within the last decade, I have witnessed families and children sacrificing too much in the name of creating these opportunities for the future mental illness, health, disconnection from family members, isolation from friends are just to name a few. In a recent report “Race to the Bottom” by Challenge Success, teens are competing with one another on who was suffering the most in the name of achievement, being rewarded for those who slept less, studied most hours in the night, ate less or more, and had the least amount of time socializing with friends. So I wasn’t feeling bad about Gaby’s under-scheduled Spring Break since I knew that being over scheduled can be harmful. Instead, my terrible feelings stemmed from the act of letting go – letting myself-controleverything go, letting Gabyhaving-to-figure-it-out go. It was the third day of break. My daughter walked into my office at the end of the day and proclaimed “Mom, today I was bored and it felt amazing!” I was stunned. “What do you mean?”

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TAKE AT LEAST FOUR WEEKENDS TO NOT BE BUSY, BE BORED TOGETHER AS A FAMILY, AND EXPERIENCE THE WONDER OF TIME AND BEING STILL WITH YOUR CHILDREN. SONJA MONTIEL

What she said next will stay with me for a long time. “I can’t remember a day that I didn’t have anything planned for the day, and I loved being able to wonder, fiddle, imagine. It was pretty cool.” I realized what a gift she had. To not be busy. To hear herself think. To wonder and play with imagination, at age 12. To be still. The time belonged to her, and she figured it out. She ran free. This is the space where authenticity grows, and crafting, honing, practicing, mastering begins. It’s from curiosity, creativity, and desire, things missing in the highest achieving teens that I have worked within recent years. I took this ah-ha moment to the next level – being bored together. As Spring Break came to an end, we camped in our backyard…like real camping but with great bathrooms. No electronics for 3 days. No business or school talk. No planned activities except for one board game that was hard to figure out. It required some commitment and even courage from me. I had to trust that my work will be fine without me for a few days, and somehow the world would continue on its own without me. I coached myself to be fully committed because, at the end of the day, I forgot what it was like to be bored. I wanted what Gaby experienced. And like that, we had it. Boredom, and boy did we wonder. We also figured out how to play that hard board game.

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This summer, there will be plenty to schedule: -Volunteer activities -Sports -Classes -Camps Here are some great directories to find those -Performing/Visual Arts Programs opportunities: -Leadership of all sorts Camps and Programs: https://www.teenlife.com/ Classes: https://www.varsitytutors.com/classes/search Volunteer: https://blog.volunteercrowd.com/ Volunteer: https://www.catchafire.org/ Research: https://www.zooniverse.org/ Research: https://researchseminars.org/ Life Skills: https://www.challengesuccess.org/parents/sum mer-covid/ Advocacy Work: https://www.stuvoice.org/about

However, I will leave you with this challenge. Take at least four weekends to not be busy, be bored together as a family, and experience the wonder of time and being still with your children. It is that important, for you and your children.

o t a z r o C a Syvli SUCCESS IN STEPS

What do you do? Parent Consultant | Behaviour Coach | Speaker | Founder of Success in Steps

What issues do you deal with? ADD/ADHD, Anxiety Disorder, Autism, Learning Disabilities, Parent-Child Interaction, NonCompliance/ Defiance, Parenting, School Problems, Stress Management

How can you help? Success in Steps helps overwhelmed and frustrated parents spend less time on challenges and behaviours and more time enjoying their family. Success in Steps, parent consulting and behaviour coaching helps families achieve their family goals through a multi-disciplinary approach. Supporting you, the parents understand not only the reason/ 'why' behind the behaviour but what's maintaining it as well. Services are focused on both the parents' and children's strengths and needs as a whole so that the positive impacts can benefit the entire family.

What can I expect? Success in Steps offer parent consulting that acts as your personalized self-help book, customized to your family's unique situation, needs and goals. You can access services through our 1:1 individual consultation or in participating in one of our two parenting programs. Click to find out more!

What Parents Have to Say: My family had an extremely positive experience with Sylvia. She showed us the highest level of professionalism, understanding, and patience. Sylvia always took the time to answer all of our questions and any concerns we had. I especially appreciated the video conferencing, and her willingness to work with my family's schedule. Thank you Sylvia, for your guidance and incredible support! Sylvia is a compassionate, dedicated and extremely knowledgeable professional who helped us implement specific strategies in our family. We feel much more confident now as parents and the stress level in our family has gone down so much! We are grateful for everything she has done for us! Sylvia was extremely knowledgable and helpful in finding a solution when it came to my daughter's behaviour. She provided us with easy tools to guide her, which in the end made us feel more confident in our parenting style. I highly recommend her to anyone seeking a patient and resourceful parent consultant.

Teaching your Child Empathy How can I find you?

WHAT IS A PARENT COACH?

A parent coach is a person who helps parents with challenges they may have while they are raising their kids. Parent Coaches work with specific behaviours by offering unique perspectives around family situations. Parent Coaches help uncover the root of the issue and offer strategies to shift behaviour and relationships within the family. Parent Coaches help families achieve their goals either in person, or online through group or individual sessions. FIND A COACH AT WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA ⎟31

WHEN YOU NEED HELP

WHERE TO LOOK www.ParentCoach.Club Search by professional, location, pricing, and topic. Support offered online.

d u a h c i b o Wanda R WANDA ZEN MAMA, PARENT COACH

What do you do? I support parents of spirited children under six to discover their inner Zen Master

What issues do you deal with? Conscious parenting, behaviour and tantrums, parent and child connection, siblings

How can you help? Many of us didn’t grow up with a model of what conscious parenting looks like. This makes it really difficult to stay calm and know what to do when we feel triggered by our child’s big emotions. I help the Mom’s I work with to release the mom guilt, parent with confidence and have a better a relationship with their kids by mastering behaviour management, communication skills and mindset.

What can I expect? I offer a free 30-minute call to map out your needs and see if we are a good fit. If we go forward you can expect weekly zoom calls and ongoing email support. I offer both four weeks and eight weeks 1:1 coaching packages.

What they say about me... "I have reached out to Wanda to get some parenting advice and support in my parenting journey of 4 boys under 10. Not only she was extremely understanding and kind, but she has also provided me with tons of resources and very helpful advice on how to deal with the tantrums and lovingly support my youngest through them. I have learned a lot from Wanda. She would be an invaluable support for any parent!" Marta

My background includes a Bachelor of Education and Twenty years of rewarding experience working with children with developmental disabilities, with a focus on Autism. In 2011 I earned a certification in Hatha Yoga Teacher Training and later took the MBSR Mindfulness training. Mental Wellness is a passion of mine and I’ve taken on roles supporting and educating adults experiencing anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. The transition into parent coaching through Academy for Coaching Parents International came after meeting my greatest teachers, my two beautiful, energetic boys.

Dealing with Tantrums How can I find you?

I NEED FAMILY VACATION IDEAS THAT WILL DELIGHT, NOT OVERWHELM By Leslie Josel, Order Out Of Chaos As originally appeared in ADDitude magazine

GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED ROAD TRIPS ARE A POPULAR FAMILY VACATION IDEA DURING THE PANDEMIC. BUT HOW DO YOU PLAN AN ADVENTURE THAT WILL NEITHER OVERWHELM NOR BORE YOUR CHILD WITH ADHD? SNAPSHOTS FROM A SUCCESSFUL MOTHER-SON VACATION.

Q: “I am going to visit my parents and have decided to take my son with me. It’s going to be a road trip. And we’re going to drive and stop on the way to have some fun along the way. I’ve never been away with just my son and I’m a little nervous. What should I plan? I think we need some quality time together, but I don’t want to overwhelm him. I know you have a son with ADHD. Have you ever been away just the two of you? How did you do it?” – TravelingMom Hi TravelingMom: I’m so excited for you! There is nothing like grabbing a precious opportunity to spend one-on-one time with your child – whether it’s a one-hour lunch date or a week-long road trip. I remember taking my son when he was 16 on a similar road trip. Truth be told, I was very nervous because 7 years had passed since our previous mother-son trip. I knew this trip was going to be hugely different. Although I braced myself for a VERY different experience, it was eye-opening!

Here are my lessons from the road. #1: My son and I have nearly polar opposite travel styles. He’s a go-with-the-flow, we’ll-get-there-when-weget-there kind of traveler. Me? Do you really need to ask? I had planned this trip for weeks: what we’d see and visit, the best times to go to certain places, where we’d eat, etc. However, I caught on very quickly – the relaxed, easy look on Eli’s face got me thinking, “Maybe I need to dial it back a little and not have everything so planned.” So I loosened up the reins, gave Eli more control of what we did… or not, and allowed more spontaneity to fill our days. And I’m so glad I did because we ended up grabbing last-minute tickets to see a basketball game that was one of the true highlights of the trip. So schedule the unscheduled! #2: I needed to slow down when I traveled. I like to go all day on vacation so I can make every minute away from home count. My son? Not so much. Even at 16, he needed breaks to recharge and refuel. And I needed to respect that. Finding cafes for a coffee or ice cream break usually did the trick. Lesson learned! #3: The more independence I gave Eli, the more he rose to the occasion. There were times on the trip when I needed to work and, therefore, we headed back to the hotel midday. After being couped up for a few hours, he asked if he could go exploring on his own. My initial impulse was to say no. But I caught myself and allowed him the freedom to navigate the city on his own. After making my parameters crystal clear and making sure his phone was fully charged, I sent him off to explore. Later that evening, over dinner, he admitted he had to keep track of a lot, but he never worried or felt that things were out of control.

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#4: We needed a break from each other from time to time. Who am I kidding? I can be quite the sensory overload; it was more likely that Eli needed a break from me! So if he stuck his headphones over his ears after we got back to our hotel room at night, I didn’t take it personally. I needed to respect his space and his need to retreat. #5: Establishing reasonable rules for both of us really helped. For him: no phone while I was driving. I wanted him to stay engaged and keep me company. For me: no endless popping into charming stores for “the perfect find.” Did we keep to the rules? Well, he used his phone from time to time and I hit my fair share of cute antique stores. But the little cheating here and there also helped us respect the rules even more. #6: (a HUGE one) A constant barrage of new information coming all day long isn’t Eli’s thing. This is true for most individuals with ADHD. While I am an information junkie and read every display at a museum, he likes to get the feel of the place first and do a deep dive in one or two select spots. But give him a museum or tour where he already had an interest? Well, let’s just say we strummed guitars and ukuleles for hours at the Gibson factory in Memphis.

Final Lesson: We did our deepest talking, hardest laughing, sang the best songs, fought our loudest fights, ate the unhealthiest snacks, and had our most peaceful moments in the car. And just like those old-school field trips or family vacations, it was never about the destination but always the journey. I’ll remember that one for the longest time. Enjoy yours This article was originally published by ADDitude Magazine where Leslie Josel writes a weekly column called “Dear ADHD Family Coach®”. She answers the reader’s most pressing questions on a whole range of ADHD parenting topics.

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Is it Aaquick Fever? fever guide...

PRIN this T page

IS IT A FEVER? When your child is sick they may have a fever. If you

Method

Normal Temperature

think your child has a fever,

Rectum

38°C (100.4°F)

use a thermometer. Your

Mouth

37.5°C (99.5°F)

child has a fever if their

Armpit

37.3°C (99.1°F)

temperature is above the

Ear

38°C (100.4°F)

number listed here:

How to take a temperature: Use one thermometer for rectal and one for taking oral temperatures Do not use glass or mercury thermometers, use digital or

Resources:

plastic thermometers instead

Is it an Emergency?

Forehead thermometers are not as accurate as other

Call 9-1-1 or go to your local

methods for taking temperatures

hospital

For more information on how to correctly take a temperature, visit www.caringforkids.cps.ca

Who to contact if your child has a fever: Babies younger than six months old should see a doctor

Need a Family Doctor? Call Health Care Connect 1-800-445-1822 www.ontario.ca/page/find-

when they have a fever Call your health care provider if your baby is older than six months and the fever does not go away after 72 hours

family-doctor-or-nursepractitioner

(three days), or your baby has a fever combined with a rash or any other signs of illness that worry you Talk to a Registered Nurse, at Telehealth Ontario 1-866797-0000 (TTY: 1-866-797-0007); available 24 hours a day, seven days a week

In an emergency situation, call 9-1-1

What to do if your child has a fever:

Want to speak with a Registered Nurse? Call Telehealth Ontario 1-866-797-0000 (TTY: 1-866-797-0007)

Babies younger than six months old should see a doctor when they have a fever If your child is older than six months, then give more to drink (such as breast milk or water) Take off extra clothing and blankets, leave enough to avoid shivering check your child's temperature often

What NOT to do if your child has a fever: Do not give medication unless recommended by your health care provider Do not give Aspirin or Acetylsalicylic Acid (ASA) to a child or teenager with a fever Do not use alcohol rubs or baths and sponging with water to lower a child's fever

Other signs your child may be sick: Acting differently (tired, weak, sleepy, loss of appetite, fussy, or a lot of crying) A runny nose Coughing Vomiting Rash Difficulty breathing Diarrhea Change in skin colour (pale or looks yellow)

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Parent Resources Navigating the internet to find the right resources can be a daunting task. We want to make life easier for you!!! Below is a simplified list of where you can start to find the resources across Ontario, Canada. If you are not in Ontario, and you are searching for a resource in your area, contact us at info@parentguide.ca. You are NEVER alone…please reach out, connect with others, find out what your options are, and equip yourself with this list! EMERGENCY 9-1-1 In an emergency, please call 9-1-1 ADDICTION, MENTAL HEALTH, AND PROBLEM GAMBLING SERVICES BounceBack Ontario TOLL-FREE: 1-866-345-0224 www.bouncebackontario.ca BounceBack®: Reclaim your health is a free skill-building program designed to help adults and youth 15+ manage symptoms of depression and anxiety. ConnexOntario 1-866-531-2600 www.connexontario.ca Free and confidential health services information for people experiencing problems with alcohol and drugs, mental illness or gambling. Information and referral service is 24/7, confidential and free.

PRINT THESE PAGES

ASSAULT AND VIOLENCE Assaulted Women’s Helpline TOLL-FREE 1.866.863.0511 TOLL-FREE TTY 1.866.863.7868 #SAFE (#7233) on your Bell, Rogers, Fido or Telus mobile phone www.awhl.org To provide free, 24/7 crisis counselling, emotional support, information and referrals via telephone to women in up to 200 languages - completely anonymous and confidential. CHILD CARE AND SCHOOLING Ontario Ministry of Education www.ontario.ca/page/ministry-education The Ministry is responsible for early years, child care and publicly funded education from kindergarten to Grade 12. OneList https://onehsn.com/home/childcare Available in most areas across Ontario

COMMUNITY INFORMATION

HEALTH

Call 2-1-1 211ontario.ca 211 is a helpline and website that provides information on and referrals to Ontario’s community, social, health-related and government services.

Health Care Options www.ontario.ca/locations/health Find a family doctor, health unit, mental health supports, walk-in clinics, immunization clinics, hospitals and more.

DISTRESS Distress and Crisis Ontario www.dcontario.org Distress Centres offer support and a variety of services. At a Distress Centre you can find a listening ear for lonely, depressed, and/or suicidal people, usually 24/7. Many centres also have Suicide Survivor programs, support services for youth, telephone call out programs for seniors and vulnerable people, mental health Crisis Lines services and much more.

Telehealth Ontario Toll-free: 1-866-797-0000 Toll-free TTY: 1-866-797-0007 Telehealth Ontario is only offered over the phone. Email advice is not available. Free, confidential service - call to get health advice or information. A Registered Nurse will take your call 24/7. HELP FOR KIDS Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 Text CONNECT to 686868 www.kidshelpphone.ca Kids Help Phone is Canada's only national 24-hour, bilingual and anonymous phone counselling, web counselling and referral service for children and youth. Search their extensive resource list, Phone, live chat, App. HELP FOR POST-SECONDARY STUDENTS Good2Talk 1-866-925-5454, or call 2-1-1 Free, confidential helpline providing professional counselling and information and referrals for mental health, addictions and well-being to post-secondary students in Ontario, 24/7/365.

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INFANT FEEDING & NUTRITION LGBTQ+ La Leche League Canada 1-800-665-4324 www.lllc.ca To encourage, promote and provide motherto-mother breastfeeding support and educational opportunities as an important contribution to the health of children, families and society. Public Health www.ontario.ca/locations/health Find a family doctor, health unit, mental health supports, walk-in clinics, immunization clinics, hospitals and more. Telehealth Ontario 1-866-797-0000 TTY: 1-866-797-0007

LGBT YouthLine 1.800.268.9688 www.youthline.ca Youth Line offers confidential and nonjudgemental peer support through our telephone, text and chat services. Get in touch with a peer support volunteer from Sunday to Friday, 4:00PM to 9:30 PM. Check out their amazing list of resources: www.youthline.ca/get-support/linksresources POISON Ontario Poison Centre 1-800-268-9017 www.ontariopoisoncentre.ca Assists if you think that you or someone you love has been exposed to a dangerous substance. SUICIDE If you are in crisis, and you are feeling suicidal, or think someone else is: • Contact your/their doctor • Go to the nearest hospital • Find a local crisis line • Find a mobile crisis team • Call a Distress Centre • Call 911 or Telehealth Ontario at 1-866-797-0000 • 211 • Canadian Mental Health Association • Kids Help Phone

TEENS

IF YOU HAVE TWEENS OR

PLEASE JOIN US

WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB If you are a parent of a teen, we help you find answers, even when you have tried everything. We do this by giving you immediate access to the top parenting coaches IN THE WORLD! Join us today!

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We are here for you! We are heading into the 6th month of the pandemic and it may not be over for some time yet. If you are wondering how to navigate life right now, please know that we are here for you. Our community of qualified Parent Coaches are ready to support you and walk with you through this challenging time. Reach out to them for a free 30-minute confidential call here!

Some Ideas to support your family during the pandemic... 1. Hold Family Meetings weekly to stay connected and talk about what you like and what you don't like about your time together during the pandemic. 2. Create a contract to include items you want to keep as you move out of isolation. Have everyone from the family sign it. Once the world opens up fully again you may forget the things that you liked; writing it down will help keep you on track. 3. Be careful. Encourage your kids to continue to wash their hands frequently for at least 20 seconds. Notice how often they are touching their face and help them recognize when they are doing this. 4. Be kind. Not everyone will be ready to integrate into 'normal' activities. Never judge or shame someone that is not ready to interact and participate in daily life activities like they did before the pandemic. 5. Stay in touch with your older kids that will be heading back to college or university. These are unprecedented times and they will be doing their best to 'get back to normal' but may need your support to navigate their emotions. 6. Think about how you were not prepared for this pandemic and make a decision to be prepared if it happens again. Pandemic-proof your work, stay healthy, and create a savings account and put money away each month for emergencies such as this.

Our Parent Coaches offer a FREE 30-minute, confidential call! Reach out to them at www.parentcoach.club

If you are struggling with how your life has been affected by the pandemic, reach out for support. Our Parent Coaches can help you work through a range of emotions. They specialize in everything from newborn care, to college success, from toddler tantrums to marriage support and more. Most offer a 30-minute free confidential chat to help you through life during and after the pandemic. Together we will be stronger and more prepared for our new and improved postpandemic lives. Just don't forget that you have all the power and control to create what that life will look like. It is, and always has been, in your hands. Sending love and strength and wisdom to you all! We have learned so much and now it is time to collectively make sure we live our best lives - in our own unique way!

WHEN YOU NEED HELP

WHERE TO LOOK www.ParentCoach.Club Search by professional, location, pricing, and topic. Support offered online.

Marketplace Want to know who supports us? These companies make it possible for us to continue to provide content and resources to local parents. Check them out, because without them, we couldn't do what we do!

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