managing
WINTER 2020 - 2021
PARENTGUIDE TANTRUMS
parenting REGRETS
how to stop
YELLING working with a
Parent Coach
SPECIAL EDITION COVID-19 PRINTABLES
WELCOME Welcome to the Winter Edition! I am so happy to see you here...thank you for spending a few minutes with us! Within the pages of this magazine you will find: unique parenting perspectives a community of love and support articles that answer your toughest questions and resources that you can count on Each of the contributors in this magazine will provide you with their best advice and remind you that you are not alone! We aren’t here to preach and tell you what to do - we are here to love and encourage you on your journey - your unique journey. Please consider reaching out to other parents in our Facebook Group. You don’t know who might need to hear from you, as well as what ideas may resonate with you and make your life as a parent just a bit easier. See you inside.
Jennifer XOXO Jennifer, Mom and Founder of Parent Guide.
P.S. If you are a parent of a teen you will want to check out our new TEEN issue. Click here to access it now! 50 Happy Parenting! 69
PARENTGUIDE 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentcoach.club
THANK YOU! I don't even know where to start when I think about how grateful I am to be here, with you, doing what I love, day in and day out! And, you...here, taking time out of your crazy, busy day to spend time with us! Grateful doesn't even begin to express how I feel! And, I really want to get to know you all better. So, here are a few ways that we can stay connected, work together, and if I am lucky, maybe we can even become friends!Â
Jennifer McCallum Founder of Parent Guide
Let's Connect Are you a Parent Coach? Become a Parent Coach Club Member Connect with parents and other Parent Coaches. Build your business and surround yourself with others that lift you up and support you! https://www.parentcoach.club/ Want to write for us? We are always looking for new ideas, new perspectives, and expert advice for our parent community. We talk about real issues for modern parents. No fluff - just good, solid advice, examples, stories, and ideas to help make parenting just a bit easier. Contact me at: info@parentguide.ca
PARENTGUIDE 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentcoach.club
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WHAT'S INSIDE 04 COVID Printables 09 Tantrums 14 Deborah Porter
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16 Regrets 19 Teaching Gratitude 24 Sylvia Corzato 26 Sensory Items 30 Potty Training 36 What is Parent Coaching? 40 Lynn Turcotte-Schuh
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42 How to Stop YELLING! 44 Is it a Fever? 46 Parent Resources 50 Find Support 51 Marketplace
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PARENTGUIDE 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentcoach.club
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C O V ID- 1 9
PRINTABLES
HOW TO MANAGE MY CHILD'S TANTRUMS AND CREATE MORE CALM The first thing to do is check in with ourselves. Notice our reaction and our feelings of by Wanda Robichaud, shame. Take a deep breath. Parent Coach at Remember, for young children, Wanda Zen Mama tantrums are a normal, even healthy part of development. Like a pressure cooker, We all know the feeling. We are unprocessed emotions will in the grocery store or at a create a build up of energy friend's home and our child is inside our children which will getting more and more agitated. need to be released. Our child is They are on the edge and we not doing this in order to make know what happens next. Our our lives more difficult. Our child explodes and we feel that child is having a hard time. Let's familiar feeling of shame and examine how we can help them judgement. What can we do? through.
Wanda walks us through the steps we can take to help our kids manage their big emotions.
“The first thing to do is check in with ourselves. Notice our reaction and our feelings of shame.” WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB ⎟9
“Playful connection is an excellent way to bring a child out of an agitated state.�
Let's look at our child. The level of emotion they are feeling is an indication of the state their brain is in. If we recognize that they are in pre-tantrum mode we can choose a strategy such as getting playful or naming the emotions. Playful connection is an excellent way to bring a child out of an agitated state. Doing something physical and having a good belly laugh will move that pent up energy through their body Some ideas are chasing them around or roughhousing.
Another strategy we can use in the pretantrum phase is to help them name what they are feeling. We might try saying. "You want that chocolate bar! You are mad! Mommy said no and you really wanted that chocolate bar, am I right?" This may help them feel understood. Once we have tried some of these strategies it might become apparent that there is nothing we can do to shift our child out of tantrum mode. It isn't helpful for our child or for us to engage in endless negotiations. It is time to set a limit and let the tantrum out. (I acknowledge this is easier done at home than at the grocery store. If this is a common problem at the grocery store I suggest planning in advance how to manage this situation.) If we have set a limit. ("Sorry, I can't get you that chocolate bar right now.") and they go into full tantrum mode, they are in the fight or flight state and this is not the time for a lot of words. Our children will not be able to take in what we are saying. Instead, we can get close to them, give them a squeeze, make them feel safe. Or maybe getting close isn't an option so we simply keep them and others as safe as possible. We ride the tantrum like a wave and let it pass. Yes, sometimes tantrums are just inevitable but the more our child can trust us to handle their big emotions the more they will begin to manage them for themselves. So over time, accepting the tantrums may actually decrease them. WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB âŽ&#x;11
After the tantrum we can talk about what happened and offer more support. Hearing the story of previous events narrated back to them, helps young children to make sense of their world. Validation of their big feelings will help build connection. Depending on the understanding of the child we can discuss what each of us could do differently next time. Now, back to us. Later in the day when we are feeling calm we can check in with ourselves. Why are tantrums hard for us? Is it because we don't have time for them? Can we made more time in our day for big emotions to happen? Is it difficult because we need to process how our own big emotions were dealt with in our childhood? How can we manage our own big feelings? If we haven't yet taken care of our own emotional states it will feel awkward showing our children the way. The good news is we have already begun to parent more consciously simply by asking ourselves the questions above. If you wish to learn more about managing our child's big emotions schedule your free discovery call with me here: https://www.wandazenmama.com/p/workwith-me.html
Validation of their big feelings will help build connection.
“If we haven't yet taken care of our own emotional states it will feel awkward showing our children the way.�
WHEN YOU NEED HELP
FIND A PARENT COACH Gone are the days of shame when you mention 'your therapist'. If you are having a difficult time dealing with all the stresses of the world, seek help from one of the many qualified parent coaches and counsellors in your area.
WHERE TO LOOK www.ParentCoach.Club Search by professional, location, pricing, and topic. Support offered online.
r e t r o P h Debora MOM COACH
What do you do? I support moms who feel overwhelmed and lost in motherhood and at times wonder who they are. The girl you were before having kids, her dreams and goals still matter. We get to work creating the strategies and systems that will support you in creating the atmosphere you want and a life that you love.
What issues do you deal with? Overwhelm, Faith, Confidence, Finding Peace, Raising Daughters/Sons
How can you help? I provide strategies and systems to help you gain the clarity you seeking on what needs to be done, building confidence in yourself and your instincts as a mom and woman and finding the courage to determine what it is you need and how to get it.
What can I expect? I offer a FREE 30 min. strategy call after filling out the application to work with me. If we decide to work together, we will begin scheduling calls and I will provide you access to the curriculum. Apply here: bit.ly/letschatmom
About me... I am the wife of my college sweetheart Clif, for 30 years and mother of 3 adult children 29, 25, 23 and a bonus son. Currently, a regular guest contributor on Virginia This Morning on CBS WTVR and you can read my guest blogs on CollegiateParent here https://www.collegiateparent.com/author/debor ah-porter/ . We are enjoying the empty nest phase and love when we get to spend time with our adult children.
All about Deborah! How can I find you?
DON'T WASTE TIME ON PARENTING REGRETS Regrets in parenting are a waste of time. If you have experienced a personal challenge with your child it's worth sharing with others so they can learn from your experience, life is much too short to regret our natural oversights as human beings. by Kim Muench, Founder at Real Life Parent Guide
Kim is a competent and natural choice for families experiencing issues around mental health and drug/alcohol use, her personal experience and professional wisdom will help you find the confidence you need to lead your family into healthier, more functional relationships. Kim is also an expert at helping mothers reconnect with their own inner wisdom as they raising the unique children in their lives.
I
ONCE HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF SPEAKING TO A GROUP OF HIGH SCHOOL BOYS. The topic was drug and alcohol use. When I thought about how I would approach the topic I decided I didn't want to just be the mom/parent coach who walked into the room with the usual presentation they may or may not actually hear, I wanted to make an impact.
I began my speech by saying I knew throwing a bunch of statistics out there wasn't going to impress them because I believe statistics can be manipulated to fit whatever point you're trying to make (I got several nods in response to this statement). Then I told them I didn't want to come in with a lecture about drinking because they all have parents who, I'm sure, spend time talking to them about the evils of doing drugs and underage drinking (of course, more nods). And, lastly, I wasn't going to give a voice to the lame phrase "Just say no."
I shared with them in the only way I thought I might get heard, which was to boldly tell the story of my experience as the mother of a teenager who began drinking alcohol (coincidentally, at the same age they were at that presentation) as a recreational pass time, but who then fell into addiction by the time he was twenty years old.That captured their attention.
Once written you have to stand by it. You may have said it to see whether you believed it or not.
Many of you know my story, if not you can learn more about it here, but the experience of having a child fall prey to an addiction to alcohol has deeply changed me. His birth, when I was eighteen, was the other life event that has really shaped who I am today. I was open and brutally honest with the boys the entire time I spoke. I shared with them my initial denial about my son's drinking and about how that certainly didn't help the situation. But, again being transparent, even if I'd been more eyes-open I don't know if I would have been able to stop the tumbledown my son was on. That's not an excuse; it's reality. He and I had a very close relationship while he was growing up, he would tell you the same thing. Yet that didn't stop his addiction from happening. After I finished sharing my story, I asked the boys to write down on an index card one thing they took away from what I'd shared and one question they had about my experience or about addiction in general. Though I should not have been surprised, I was amazed at the thought-provoking statements and questions they came back with! Someone in the group wrote, "What is your biggest regret out of everything you told us." Of course, this made me think. "Hmmmmm," I said. "I honestly can't think of any regret I have about what transpired." Do I wish he hadn't gotten a taste of alcohol so young and become addicted to the way it helped him cope with the stress and challenges in his life during high school? Yes. But I understand why it happened.
Do I wish I'd have listened to my gut when the evidence (smell from his room that was not what I wrote off at the time as "teen boy smells", missing alcohol from the cabinet, odd sleep patterns) was right in front of my eyes? Yes. Denial can be a powerful parenting obstacle. Do I wish he would have felt able to come to me sooner and ask for help? Definitely! But, when he was ready, he did come to me and although the experience got much darker before the light, I supported and encouraged him (as I still do today) into what is a healthier version of the teen who inadvertently got addicted to a substance that became his main coping skill. Regrets in parenting are a waste of time. If you have experienced a personal challenge with your child it's worth sharing with others so they can learn from your experience, life is much too short to regret our natural oversights as human beings. We are parents, not perfect. We do the best we can with what we know every moment as we raise our children. When we know better, we do better! If you live with regrets about the way you were parented or the way you are parenting, STOP. Seek a new approach to developing your most important relationships, don't waste another moment on "what could have been" or "why didn't I do this or why didn't I see this coming?" My passion and mission in life are to help other parents by speaking, writing, leading workshops, and
coaching one-on-one. I don't do this because I feel as if I'm the perfect parent; I do this because I desperately want to see families become happier, healthier, and more functional. OUR KIDS AND TEENAGERS NEED US NOW MORE THAN EVER! Would you like to learn more about how I can help you? Click here to connect!
We do the best we can with what we know every moment as we raise our children. When we know better, we do better! WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB âŽ&#x;17
BY: SUCCESS IN STEPS. PARENT CONSULTANT
Sylvia Corzato
5 TIPS FOR TEACHING CHILDREN GRATITUDE Here are my 5 tips to hit the It's officially Fall and early Winter is a tme that reset button for teaching we tend to focus on what we are thankful for. gratitude: With the US Thanksgiving and Winter Holidays just around the corner, this reminds us of all the things that we should and can be thankful for! In a day and age where instant gratification seems to be the new normal, we along with our children tend to lose sight of all the wonderful things we may take for granted.
Model Gratitude
Children model your behaviours more than you know, ever caught yourself saying "oh my she/he takes that after (insert relatives name here). By expressing gratitude, your kids will be sure to follow your lead. WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB âŽ&#x;19
GRATITUDE TIP #1
By expressing gratitude, your kids will be sure to follow your lead. Sylvia Corzato, Success in Steps
GRATITUDE
5 TIPS FOR TEACHING CHILDREN GRATITUDE
I'm Grateful For...
Always Look For The Positive Find something positive in
frustrating or disappointing situations and discuss it. Helping our children under that, there is still something to learn from a situation or mistake, allows us to be open-minded and bounce back on our feet a lot faster.
Create A Gratitude Jar! Encourage your kids to write or draw what they are grateful for and ask that they place it in the jar. Have the jar in a common area such as the kitchen. I love reading items from our gratitude jar both on special occasions and on random days.Why not start yours today and read what your family is grateful for at your thanksgiving celebration.
Before bed, why not incorporate stating what you are grateful for as part of your bedtime routine.It can go something like this... "Tonight I'm grateful for..."trying a new recipe that I wasn't sure the family would enjoy taking a break from answering emails so that I can watch a show with my kidsThen throw the 'ball in their court,' "what are you grateful for?"Your child might follow suit with...trying something new in class talking to a new kid a recess
Follow-up With 'Why'
As our children get older, they are able to communicate the reason/message behind their statements. Continue the conversation and praise their thinking. This not only assists with the whole concept of gratitude but strengthens problemsolving & reasoning skills at the same time.
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Gratitude is a positive attitude, that will teach your child how to live a life with the glass is 1/2 full mindset. Living a life with appreciation makes our children happier, more mindful of others and enable them to appreciate the small wins that lead to more significant victories.When we adopt a grateful mindset, we cannot only improve our coping strategies but can bounce back and shake things off a lot quicker and try again. What are you grateful for? Here are some of the things my family is currently grateful for: Our daughter (13 years old) "Family, because you are part of my life, and I love you.""You guys do so much for me and are always willing to help me." Our son (10 years old) "Our special handshake before school." My Husband" Our health, it's something we should never take for granted." Me"Creating memories for our family so that they will always have some things beautiful to look back on. Sylvia is a parent consultant who works with parents and professionals to provide awareness that will enable them to understand how to address their primary area of needs. Success in Steps was founded in 2016 in response to a growing need for a tailored approach to support parents. You can find Sylvia at: https://www.successinsteps.ca/con tact
e r a c self t o n is h s i f sel
o t a z r o C a Syvli SUCCESS IN STEPS
What do you do? Parent Consultant | Behaviour Coach | Speaker | Founder of Success in Steps
What issues do you deal with? ADD/ADHD, Anxiety Disorder, Autism, Learning Disabilities, Parent-Child Interaction, NonCompliance/ Defiance, Parenting, School Problems, Stress Management
How can you help? Success in Steps helps overwhelmed and frustrated parents spend less time on challenges and behaviours and more time enjoying their family. Success in Steps, parent consulting and behaviour coaching helps families achieve their family goals through a multi-disciplinary approach. Supporting you, the parents understand not only the reason/ 'why' behind the behaviour but what's maintaining it as well. Services are focused on both the parents' and children's strengths and needs as a whole so that the positive impacts can benefit the entire family.
What can I expect? Success in Steps offer parent consulting that acts as your personalized self-help book, customized to your family's unique situation, needs and goals. You can access services through our 1:1 individual consultation or in participating in one of our two parenting programs. Click to find out more!
What Parents Have to Say: My family had an extremely positive experience with Sylvia. She showed us the highest level of professionalism, understanding, and patience. Sylvia always took the time to answer all of our questions and any concerns we had. I especially appreciated the video conferencing, and her willingness to work with my family's schedule. Thank you Sylvia, for your guidance and incredible support! Sylvia is a compassionate, dedicated and extremely knowledgeable professional who helped us implement specific strategies in our family. We feel much more confident now as parents and the stress level in our family has gone down so much! We are grateful for everything she has done for us! Sylvia was extremely knowledgable and helpful in finding a solution when it came to my daughter's behaviour. She provided us with easy tools to guide her, which in the end made us feel more confident in our parenting style. I highly recommend her to anyone seeking a patient and resourceful parent consultant.
Teaching your Child Empathy How can I find you?
SENSORY TOYS ARE GROUNDING, PROVIDE TACTILE RELIEF, AND ARE COMFORTING. APARNA VENKATARAMAN
5 SENSORY AND COMFORT ITEMS FOR BIG EMOTIONS, ANXIOUS FEELINGS & STRESS B Y : A P A R N A V E N K A T A R A M A N With so many homeschooling or going back-and-forth between home, school (and even work for parents), I’m sharing with you here 5 items that may be useful for your family during times of: -anxious feelings -rough days -school time focus and more! Sensory toys are grounding, provide tactile relief and are comforting. I don’t have particular brands or websites that I recommend, so take care in doing your research and reading reviews (and asking your community and other parents or specialists for advice). As always, supervision is required in many cases and please take care and caution in helping your child become familiar with a new object. WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB ⎟27
In no particular order: Lap mats - these are great for children who wish to play or read while sitting down and need some extra time to ground their energy and relax
Stress ball (seen here in a heart shape) - this little ball is helpful on days when you need to relieve stress and anger - simply inhaling as you squeeze the ball and exhaling as you release is also a lovely added mindfulness practice!
Bracelets - I love bracelets, in particular, because they are easier to remove than a necklace and your child can actually see them without needing a mirror! There are wonderful ones with lava stones and other ways to add in essential oils for more focus
Sensory bottle - these can be made with a plastic water bottle (softer ones that can be squeezed to some extent) and liquids, safe food coloring, feathers, glitter, toys, etc. that the child likes (recommended for the child to pick out these things) are very fun to make and are useful for the child to look at, shake and squeeze on particularly rough days.
REISE | PAGEÂ 4
Mesh/silk swing - A swing that hangs from a tree, ceiling or another very sturdy place is nice to feel grounded and comforted (kind of like a hammock or cocoon that you can move around in)
Over time, with regular use of these items and similar ones, your child will find comfort, groundedness and more focus (and hopefully joy) in objects that are helpful to calm their nervous systems and stay present! I know that many parents will have concerns about a child becoming too attached to the item - and that is why I recommend in sessions creating boundaries, set times, and being communicative in healthy, effective ways with the child about the what, why, how and when of using an object - and even for how long to play in advance!
Aparna is the founder of Beauty In Parenting and is a parent coach, meditation teacher, essential oil educator and motivational speaker for families of babies, toddlers and teens who focuses on sensory self-care, effective communication and feeling more joy, flow and ease! Reach out to her for a free consultation here and email hello@beautyinparenting.com anytime for questions and additional support.
DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE CALM & CLARITY PDF NOW FOR SHORT 1-2-MINUTE BREATHING AND FOCUS EXERCISES COMBINED WITH ESSENTIAL OIL PAIRINGS (OPTIONAL) SO THE WHOLE FAMILY CAN ENJOY MINDFUL MOMENTS EVEN MORE WITHOUT GUILT!
POTTY TRAINING
IS MY TODDLER READY FOR NIGHTTIME POTTY TRAINING? By: Jill Lawson, Five Star Sleepers
This is it, mama. This is the final boss. The last level. The icing on the parenting cake. Well, I suppose you still have about 15 or 16 years of parenting left before you send them off to college, but those are a day at the park compared to this. I’m talking, of course, about night-time potty training. This is another one of those parenting milestones that can look peculiar to outsiders, but for those of us who’ve been through it, we know that a celebration of epic proportions is in order on the day we finally say our final farewell to nappies. It’s not as glamours as completing your Master’s degree or landing a big promotion, but handing down that Nappy Genie to one of your friends after getting your toddler 100% potty trained feels pretty similar on the old accomplishment-o-meter. But sometimes our enthusiasm can cause us to rush into it before our little ones are ready. And when that happens, we can end up setting the process back a bit. We get a little frustrated, our little one gets disheartened, and we end up calling it off rather than dealing with any more teary-eyed wake ups and wet sheets in the middle of the night. WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB ⎟31
So today, I’ve got some tips for you to determine whether or not your toddler’s ready to nighttime potty train, and if they are, how to maximise your chances forsuccess without sacrificing all of the progress you’ve made with their sleep.So, jumping right in, is your little one ready to go the night without using the potty?Notice how I phrased that kind of specifically? I’ve seen night-time potty training approaches that involve actually going into your
child’s bedroom at regular intervals during the night, and waking them up to go to the bathroom! All the no’s to this approach. Every last no in the no collection. We do not sacrifice sleep for potty training. It’s way too confusing to a toddler, to be told after all of the work they’ve done to finally start sleeping peacefully through the night, that they now have to wake up every three or four hours to go to the bathroom.
If your toddler can’t get through the night without needing to wee, they’re not ready for this. Leave their nappy on at night and tackle this at a later date.If, however, your little one’s had a few nights of waking up with a dry nappy, that could mean that they’re up to the challenge. That’s really the prime indicator that this might be a good time to give it a shot. Two or three dry mornings in a week suggests that their bladder muscles have developed to the point where they can hold it for the night, so if that’s the case, let’s give it a go.
TIMING Now, prepare yourself. I’m sure there are stories out there about The Toddler Who Potty Trained Without a Single Accident, but the odds of that happening are not in your favour. Not even close. So pick a week when you don’t have a whole lot going on, get some extra sheets and PJs at the ready, and get your zen on, because the most important thing here is patience. There are going to be some accidents, and accepting that reality ahead of time will help make this process bearable for you and your little one.
MINDSET Keep this mindset when you’re explaining what’s going on to your toddler. It’s great to be enthusiastic and super-positive, but don’t make it sound too monumental. We’ve got to keep in mind that this isn’t something they have control over and building up expectations on them can result in some feelings of failure and disappointment if they do have an accident in the night. This is also something to consider if you’re looking at a “reward chart” or some such thing for nights without an accident. I’m not inherently against them, but if your toddler tends to get really upset if they don’t make the grade, it might be better to let them succeed or fail without rewards and consequences.
POTTY BEFORE BEDTIME Make sure your toddler gets on the potty right before bed, even if they say they don’t need to go.I know a lot of parents have found that a potty session 30 minutes prior to bedtime, then again right before bed, has gotten them the best results.
EXPECTATIONS When an accident happens, as it probably will a few times at least, don’t act disappointed or irritated. (Go ahead and feel that way, sure, but you keep that noise to yourself.) Just take your toddler by the hand and walk them back to their room, get them cleaned up and into some fresh pyjamas, and change their bed with the clean sheets you’ve prepared ahead of time.
TOP PRO TIP I do have one really sweet pro tip for you here. Grab yourself some plastic sheeting, lay a layer of that over the mattress, then a set of bed sheets, then another layer of plastic, then another set of bed sheets. That way, if there’s an accident in the night, you just go in, strip off the top layer, and bam! There’s a clean, dry, freshly made bed waiting underneath. That’ll help get you and your little one back to bed in no time flat.
A magazine is a publication, usually a periodical publication, which is printed or electronically published (sometimes referred to as an online magazine). Magazines are generally published on a regular schedule and contain a variety of content. They are generally financed by advertising, by a purchase price, by prepaid subscriptions, or a combination of the three. At its root, the word "magazine" refers to a collection or storage location. In the case of written publication, it is a collection of written articles.
DEALING WITH ACCIDENTS Keep the room as dark as possible, keep the process short, and don’t put your little one in the bath unless it’s vitally necessary. Getting into the tub is likely to throw a wrench in your child’s sleep for the night, and they might just get it into their heads that wetting the bed gets them fifteen minutes in the bath, which, for some kids, might sound like a pretty sweet proposition.
WHAT IF IT’S NOT WORKING? So what happens if it doesn’t take? Well, if you’re still seeing regular accidents after a week or two, give it some consideration. Is your toddler ready and just not willing, or willing but not ready? And when you’re deciding, consider whether your own desire to see an end to nappy’s is weighing in on your decision. Any sane parent would love to say goodbye to nappy’s as soon as possible, but there really is no rushing this process. If they’re not ready, they’re not ready, and you’re just putting a lot of unnecessary stress on both of you by trying to get it done before its time.
FINAL THOUGHTS One last time just to emphasise the point, getting your toddler out of their nappy is not worth sacrificing their sleep routine. Don’t attempt this crazy “dream-potty” routine where you try to get them to wee while they’re still sleeping, don’t wake them up halfway through the night to go to the bathroom, and don’t drop two hundred pounds on a bed-wetting alarm. (How is that even a thing?) You’ll just be trading one issue for another, and since you’ve already put the work in to get them sleeping through the night, you’re much better off just waiting until the moment is right.
Jill Lawson is a sleep consultant for Mums who fear that their baby will never sleep well. They feel overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted and out of options. Jill supports them in creating a consistent sleep routine for their baby so they can get back on track and focus on being the parent they want to be. You can find Jill at Five Star Sleepers here! WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB ⎟35
WHAT IS A PARENT COACH?
A parent coach is a person who helps parents with challenges they may have while they are raising their kids. Parent Coaches work with specific behaviours by offering unique perspectives around family situations. Parent Coaches help uncover the root of the issue and offer strategies to shift behaviour and relationships within the family. Parent Coaches help families achieve their goals either in person, or online through group or individual sessions. FIND A COACH AT WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA âŽ&#x;31
WHEN YOU NEED HELP
FIND A PARENT COACH Gone are the days of shame when you mention 'your therapist'. If you are having a difficult time dealing with all the stresses of the world, seek help from one of the many qualified parent coaches and counsellors in your area.
WHERE TO LOOK www.ParentCoach.Club Search by professional, location, pricing, and topic. Support offered online.
h u h c S e t t o c r u T Lynn C H I L D B I R T H E D U C A T O R , L A C T A T I O N COUNSELOR, PARENTING COACH
What do you do? I offer an online membership group and coaching for parents from pregnancy through elementary school.
What issues do you deal with? Connection, Finding Peace, Leadership, Overwhelm, Tantrums, LGBTQ+
How can you help? I provide tools and coaching to help you create strong, positive relationships through small moments of connection.
What can I expect? After you join the AHMC (our online membership group), you will have full access to my library of resources and signature courses, two group coaching calls each week and a 10% discount on Private Coaching.
What my clients say about me... "Thanks for being such a positive force for Mamas everywhere!" Allison "It has been so refreshing to have you be so open and honest and provide a safe place for Mamas to turn." Lauren "After just a few weeks working with Lynn, there is more peace and joy in our household. I feel more patient and connected to my daughters. It's like we're a whole new family." Nicole "After completing a free workshop with Lynn, my husband said 'Wow, she's good'. We've been successfully implementing her recommendations and engaging in the online community ever since...and our entire family is better for it!" Tara
Connection in Parenting How can I find you?
HOW TO STOP YELLING by Claire Cetti, Parent Coach
Wish you could stop yelling at your kids, but just can't? Feeling like yelling is the only way to get your kid's attention, to listen to you? Tired of the frustration, and guilt, you feel after you've lost your cool, yet again? Good news. There IS another way to reach your kids and seek resolution, no matter the situation, by spending time in connection rather than in conflict and coercion. And it begins with you.
Everything we do is a choice. This may be hard to hear, however, to effectively stop yelling the first step is to just stop. Even if you're mid yell, mid- frustration, agitation notice it, see it and choose to STOP. This choice to stop yourself creates the pause necessary to get you, and your brain thinking again. When we are in that space of yelling, frustration, aka trigger, we are hijacked, our brains are NOT thinking clearly. Recognizing our hijacked state is the beginning of turning things around from conflict to connection by way of accessing our brains again.
Wish you could stop yelling at your kids, but just can't?
“Recognizing our hijacked state is the beginning of turning things around from conflict to connection...�
“Choose the relationship with your child over being right.”
Now that you can think clearly, you can now begin to see things clearly, take a look around and ask yourself what’s going on? What’s happening for you? What’s your agenda and what is the problem you are trying to solve? Ask the same questions about your child? They too have their agenda and problem they are trying to solve. By separating you from your child and the two different experiences happening at this moment, you are more able to problem solve OUTSIDE the emotions rather within all the emotions of the conflict together.
Once you understand what’s happening, effectively moving from conflict to connection requires another choice. Remember, everything we do is a choice. Choose the relationship with your child over being right. Yes, parents, you may be “right” and you want your child to know and learn the lesson at this moment. Release the need to be right, right now, and choose to be in a relationship with your child and their experience at this moment. Doing so allows you to flip the script from being about me, for both of you, to WE and how can we see this through, together. This incredibly powerful choice allows you to explore with your child what is happening for them and why. Engaging and authentically seeing your child’s perspective fills their deep need and desire to be seen, heard, validated, and understood, and THIS is what brings them to a place of being more receptive to YOU. It is in this place of connection that any correction, boundary, teaching, or problem you may be trying to solve can be resolved by way of spending this time in connection with your child rather than spending time in conflict. Will this get rid of all tantrums? Meltdowns? Disagreements? No, of course not. Your child is only human and a young one at that. However, these will likely become less intense because of the safety your child will feel from you through the pattern of connection you are creating with them when they are in those moments of big emotions.
Will this stop you from ever getting upset, angry, or triggered? No, you are only human too! However, your ability to recognize the onset of these triggers and your own emotions will likely allow you to more quickly choose the route to be in connection with your child over joining them in that initial place of chaos and conflict - leaving you more calm and confident as a parent and connected with your child.
About Claire Cetti, Parent Coach Claire helps mamas who desire to change the parenting patterns that are not serving them or their kids well, feel more calm, confident, and connected to their kids. You can find Claire here!
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Is it Aaquick Fever? fever guide...
PRIN this T page
IS IT A FEVER? When your child is sick they may have a fever. If you
Method
Normal Temperature
think your child has a fever,
Rectum
38°C (100.4°F)
use a thermometer. Your
Mouth
37.5°C (99.5°F)
child has a fever if their
Armpit
37.3°C (99.1°F)
temperature is above the
Ear
38°C (100.4°F)
number listed here:
How to take a temperature: Use one thermometer for rectal and one for taking oral temperatures Do not use glass or mercury thermometers, use digital or
Resources:
plastic thermometers instead
Is it an Emergency?
Forehead thermometers are not as accurate as other
Call 9-1-1 or go to your local
methods for taking temperatures
hospital
For more information on how to correctly take a temperature, visit www.caringforkids.cps.ca
Who to contact if your child has a fever: Babies younger than six months old should see a doctor
Need a Family Doctor? Call Health Care Connect 1-800-445-1822 www.ontario.ca/page/find-
when they have a fever Call your health care provider if your baby is older than six months and the fever does not go away after 72 hours
family-doctor-or-nursepractitioner
(three days), or your baby has a fever combined with a rash or any other signs of illness that worry you Talk to a Registered Nurse, at Telehealth Ontario 1-866797-0000 (TTY: 1-866-797-0007); available 24 hours a day, seven days a week
In an emergency situation, call 9-1-1
What to do if your child has a fever:
Want to speak with a Registered Nurse? Call Telehealth Ontario 1-866-797-0000 (TTY: 1-866-797-0007)
Babies younger than six months old should see a doctor when they have a fever If your child is older than six months, then give more to drink (such as breast milk or water) Take off extra clothing and blankets, leave enough to avoid shivering check your child's temperature often
What NOT to do if your child has a fever: Do not give medication unless recommended by your health care provider Do not give Aspirin or Acetylsalicylic Acid (ASA) to a child or teenager with a fever Do not use alcohol rubs or baths and sponging with water to lower a child's fever
Other signs your child may be sick: Acting differently (tired, weak, sleepy, loss of appetite, fussy, or a lot of crying) A runny nose Coughing Vomiting Rash Difficulty breathing Diarrhea Change in skin colour (pale or looks yellow)
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Parent Resources Navigating the internet to find the right resources can be a daunting task. We want to make life easier for you!!! Below is a simplified list of where you can start to find the resources across Ontario, Canada. If you are not in Ontario, and you are searching for a resource in your area, contact us at info@parentguide.ca. You are NEVER alone…please reach out, connect with others, find out what your options are, and equip yourself with this list! EMERGENCY 9-1-1 In an emergency, please call 9-1-1 ADDICTION, MENTAL HEALTH, AND PROBLEM GAMBLING SERVICES BounceBack Ontario TOLL-FREE: 1-866-345-0224 www.bouncebackontario.ca BounceBack®: Reclaim your health is a free skill-building program designed to help adults and youth 15+ manage symptoms of depression and anxiety. ConnexOntario 1-866-531-2600 www.connexontario.ca Free and confidential health services information for people experiencing problems with alcohol and drugs, mental illness or gambling. Information and referral service is 24/7, confidential and free.
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ASSAULT AND VIOLENCE Assaulted Women’s Helpline TOLL-FREE 1.866.863.0511 TOLL-FREE TTY 1.866.863.7868 #SAFE (#7233) on your Bell, Rogers, Fido or Telus mobile phone www.awhl.org To provide free, 24/7 crisis counselling, emotional support, information and referrals via telephone to women in up to 200 languages - completely anonymous and confidential. CHILD CARE AND SCHOOLING Ontario Ministry of Education www.ontario.ca/page/ministry-education The Ministry is responsible for early years, child care and publicly funded education from kindergarten to Grade 12. OneList https://onehsn.com/home/childcare Available in most areas across Ontario
COMMUNITY INFORMATION
HEALTH
Call 2-1-1 211ontario.ca 211 is a helpline and website that provides information on and referrals to Ontario’s community, social, health-related and government services.
Health Care Options www.ontario.ca/locations/health Find a family doctor, health unit, mental health supports, walk-in clinics, immunization clinics, hospitals and more.
DISTRESS Distress and Crisis Ontario www.dcontario.org Distress Centres offer support and a variety of services. At a Distress Centre you can find a listening ear for lonely, depressed, and/or suicidal people, usually 24/7. Many centres also have Suicide Survivor programs, support services for youth, telephone call out programs for seniors and vulnerable people, mental health Crisis Lines services and much more.
Telehealth Ontario Toll-free: 1-866-797-0000 Toll-free TTY: 1-866-797-0007 Telehealth Ontario is only offered over the phone. Email advice is not available. Free, confidential service - call to get health advice or information. A Registered Nurse will take your call 24/7. HELP FOR KIDS Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 Text CONNECT to 686868 www.kidshelpphone.ca Kids Help Phone is Canada's only national 24-hour, bilingual and anonymous phone counselling, web counselling and referral service for children and youth. Search their extensive resource list, Phone, live chat, App. HELP FOR POST-SECONDARY STUDENTS Good2Talk 1-866-925-5454, or call 2-1-1 Free, confidential helpline providing professional counselling and information and referrals for mental health, addictions and well-being to post-secondary students in Ontario, 24/7/365.
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INFANT FEEDING & NUTRITION LGBTQ+ La Leche League Canada 1-800-665-4324 www.lllc.ca To encourage, promote and provide motherto-mother breastfeeding support and educational opportunities as an important contribution to the health of children, families and society. Public Health www.ontario.ca/locations/health Find a family doctor, health unit, mental health supports, walk-in clinics, immunization clinics, hospitals and more. Telehealth Ontario 1-866-797-0000 TTY: 1-866-797-0007
LGBT YouthLine 1.800.268.9688 www.youthline.ca Youth Line offers confidential and nonjudgemental peer support through our telephone, text and chat services. Get in touch with a peer support volunteer from Sunday to Friday, 4:00PM to 9:30 PM. Check out their amazing list of resources: www.youthline.ca/get-support/linksresources POISON Ontario Poison Centre 1-800-268-9017 www.ontariopoisoncentre.ca Assists if you think that you or someone you love has been exposed to a dangerous substance. SUICIDE If you are in crisis, and you are feeling suicidal, or think someone else is: • Contact your/their doctor • Go to the nearest hospital • Find a local crisis line • Find a mobile crisis team • Call a Distress Centre • Call 911 or Telehealth Ontario at 1-866-797-0000 • 211 • Canadian Mental Health Association • Kids Help Phone
TEENS
IF YOU HAVE TWEENS OR
PLEASE JOIN US
WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB If you are a parent of a teen, we help you find answers, even when you have tried everything. We do this by giving you immediate access to the top parenting coaches IN THE WORLD! Join us today!
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We are here for you! We are heading into the 6th month of the pandemic and it may not be over for some time yet. If you are wondering how to navigate life right now, please know that we are here for you. Our community of qualified Parent Coaches are ready to support you and walk with you through this challenging time. Reach out to them for a free 30-minute confidential call here!
Some Ideas to support your family during the pandemic... 1. Hold Family Meetings weekly to stay connected and talk about what you like and what you don't like about your time together during the pandemic. 2. Create a contract to include items you want to keep as you move out of isolation. Have everyone from the family sign it. Once the world opens up fully again you may forget the things that you liked; writing it down will help keep you on track. 3. Be careful. Encourage your kids to continue to wash their hands frequently for at least 20 seconds. Notice how often they are touching their face and help them recognize when they are doing this. 4. Be kind. Not everyone will be ready to integrate into 'normal' activities. Never judge or shame someone that is not ready to interact and participate in daily life activities like they did before the pandemic. 5. Stay in touch with your older kids that will be heading back to college or university. These are unprecedented times and they will be doing their best to 'get back to normal' but may need your support to navigate their emotions. 6. Think about how you were not prepared for this pandemic and make a decision to be prepared if it happens again. Pandemic-proof your work, stay healthy, and create a savings account and put money away each month for emergencies such as this.
Our Parent Coaches offer a FREE 30-minute, confidential call! Reach out to them at www.parentcoach.club
If you are struggling with how your life has been affected by the pandemic, reach out for support. Our Parent Coaches can help you work through a range of emotions. They specialize in everything from newborn care, to college success, from toddler tantrums to marriage support and more. Most offer a 30-minute free confidential chat to help you through life during and after the pandemic. Together we will be stronger and more prepared for our new and improved postpandemic lives. Just don't forget that you have all the power and control to create what that life will look like. It is, and always has been, in your hands. Sending love and strength and wisdom to you all! We have learned so much and now it is time to collectively make sure we live our best lives - in our own unique way!
Marketplace Want to know who supports us? These companies make it possible for us to continue to provide content and resources to local parents. Check them out, because without them, we couldn't do what we do!
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