“She is clothed in strength & dignity and she laughs without fear of the future.”
Proverbs 31:25
“the strength comes from being tested by life’s unpredictability.”
Matt LauerShe hopes to transform the lives of youth impacted by mental health and substance use disorders through multigenerational, healing-centered programming and resources to reduce adversities, suicides , and overdoses, helping the whole family reach their full potential.
Elizabeth Taylor
Pureness is the matriarch, socialite, student, and lover of life. These are some of the many facets that encompass who clients, colleagues and fans affectionately refer to as Pureness of Faces By Pureness.
Terrance Williams
Terrance Williams is the Founder of Meta Wellness.
The company provides affordable Virtual Reality platforms for mental health professionals to conduct their telehealth sessions, group sessions, trainings, exposure therapy and etc in the metaverse.
Contact Information: Website: www.metawellness.space
Contact Information:
Elizabeth Taylor
Pure Mental Fitness: Making your Mind Work, visit www.facesbypureness.com
EDITOR TEAM
Founder/Editor Chief
Managing Editor
Asst. Managing Editor
Associate Editor
Fashion Editor
Beauty Editor
Comic Illustrator
Therapy’s Dope Editor
Graphic Designer
: Nikita Powell-Cottman
: TJ Woodard
: KeErica Brown
: Paul Cottman & Vanity Dawson
: Kena’l Hollingworth
: TJ Woodard
: RJ Sterling
: Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R
: Yeny Ferreras
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Lex Morgan
TJ Woodard
Vanity Dawson
Talona Smith
KeErica Brown
Kendra Hathaway, MFT
Torre “Tor” White
SherVonne Grose, MFT
Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R
YOUTH CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Nina Hollingworth
Lisence & Copy Right
Spring Cleaning? Celebrating New Beginnings? Realizing it is time to let go of those things that no longer serve you any good! Do you know you have the ability to heal from past trauma, abuse and all other things that broke you, and start again. You can find your light in your darkness. I encourage you to be in the moment, pause and take a deep breath and most importantly… Give yourself some grace!
Now let’s be clear, the beauty of this changing season does not always bring the relief and newness we hope for, but I encourage you to take in all the mental health benefits Spring brings.The Vitamin D which brings better moods because Vitamin D deficiency is a real thing! Its symptoms include dark moods, depression, brain fog, among other things. Spring into good mental health by
making your mental health a priority. Allow yourself to break out of the cocoon. Open those windows, let your home air out! Get moving, get outside and enjoy life! Many of us have endured the darkness too long and need to play in the light.
Personally, the winter months are difficult for me. Let’s be real, changing seasons don’t always bring the relief we hope for, if this applies to you, seek help. Get a therapist!... It’s time to do some Psychological Spring Cleaning!
Founder/Editor in Chief
Beauty is often associated with physical appearance, but the impact it has on our mental health cannot be overlooked. Studies have shown that feeling attractive and confident can boost selfesteem and have a positive effect on mental well-being. On the other hand, struggling with negative body image or low self-esteem can lead to mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.
Body image is a significant factor in mental health. The societal pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty standards has led to a rise in body dissatisfaction and eating disorders. This pressure is often exacerbated
The Connection between
&
by social media, where edited and filtered images of perfect bodies and flawless faces are rampant. Constant exposure to these images can lead to a distorted view of one’s own body, leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem and negative body image can also affect one’s social life, leading to social anxiety and isolation. People with low self-esteem may avoid social situations and struggle to form close relationships due to feelings of unworthiness. This can further exacerbate mental health problems, as social support is essential for mental well-being.
On the other hand, feeling confident in one’s appearance can have a positive impact on mental health. It can lead to a more positive self-image, increased self-esteem, and better overall wellbeing. Confidence in one’s appearance can also improve social relationships, as people are more likely to engage in social situations when they feel good about themselves.
It is essential to remember that beauty is subjective, and there is no one-sizefits-all definition of attractiveness. Embracing one’s unique features and celebrating individuality can lead to a more positive self-image and better mental health outcomes.
In conclusion, beauty and mental health are closely intertwined. Struggling with a negative body
image and low self-esteem can lead to mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. On the other hand, feeling confident in one’s appearance can lead to a more positive self-image and better overall well-being.
It is important to remember that beauty is subjective and to embrace individuality to improve mental health outcomes. “ ”
TJ Woodard is a certified ICF Life & Business Coach. She is a devoted advocate for mental health awareness and suicide prevention. She is also an active duty service Airman, podcaster, mentor and 4x Amazon’s Bestselling author and has helped push many others into their purpose. For more information, visit www. tamikawoodard.com
‘What’s wrong with me?’ is a conundrum that Black women face more often than we care to admit. But with 8 out of 10 having experienced some type of trauma and significantly higher rates of chronic psychological stress and psychosocial stress & abuse than any other group, we can find ourselves at the feet of this question with hopes of an answer that would lead us to a ‘better version of ourselves.’ As a self-love coach, I encourage asking questions as a part of the reflection step for processing your emotions. At the SenterME House, we call it, keeping it R.E.A.L. The first step is always to reflect.
But reflecting can be a difficult process when we ask questions that not only retrigger us but keep us from getting to know our truth. These are prevention questions, and ‘What’s wrong with me?’ is high on that list. Prevention questions distract us by keeping us in a constant mental and emotional loop of the past. When reflecting, we must focus on identifying what we are feeling and getting to the root cause of it. Here is where purpose questions come in, to keep us on the yellow brick road as we allow our emotions to journey through us. So, being in a safe space is key. Instead of asking ourselves, ‘What’s wrong with me?’ a purpose question reveals more of our truth, such as ‘Why am I experiencing insecurity at this moment?’
Exploring ourselves in this way is a form of self-love. We are constantly learning more about ourselves by My emotions were in control, and by the time I would get to reflect, I had already reacted to the thought or situation. But I challenged myself to reflect anyway. I would ask myself purpose questions like ‘why did I react in that way?’ or ‘how can I show up better for myself the next time I experience that?’ eventually, the process of reflecting would begin before I would respond to a thought or situation. I learned to observe my emotions without reacting to give myself time to respond in a healthy way. But the most important thing we must maintain when reflecting, whether before or after our reaction/response, is grace.
Emotional intelligence is a superpower, and when we access optimal emotional wellness
we tap into the power that comes with being in sync with our bodies. Remember you are exploring yourself, and it is essential that you meet yourself with love. What you feel is absolutely real, and reflecting allows you to connect with what’s real for a deeper understanding of self.
This realization is a level of self-love that is both freeing and illuminating. To learn more about keeping it R.E.A.L., head over to the SenterME House, self-love for Black women. We create a clear, easily accessible path to emotional wellness
Life teaches us lessons on a daily basis. We live in times that are constantly changing…evolving. Some may find it challenging to keep up with life’s constant changes, mainly because of fear of the unknown or the inability to move from our past.
We sometimes compare our past to what we are currently confronted with, allowing it to become a continuous pattern of torment instead of acknowledging our accomplishments in survival. Letting ourselves be free from what had been keeping us in emotional or mental bondage.
There are quotes like, “take the dirt people throw at you and put it under your feet to elevate your foundation,” “brush off negativity and keep pushing forward,” and “let the negativity roll off you like water on a duck’s back like,” or “your problems are only temporary so keep going.”
Though the quotes are meant to be inspiring, they can be challenging for all. Everyone cannot handle life’s struggles by following a cliche. Some thought processes perceive and manage struggles differently. Some cannot visualize hope or believe in the possibility of a positive outcome. Some accept struggles as if they are their fault and try to find ways to fix themselves to prevent enduring more difficulties.
Others may feel they experience what they deserve. People who received little or no affection in life or have been mistreated for so long don’t know how to feel anything else and tend to accept negative experiences as normal. At least, that is what their minds may lead them to believe.
Many people cope with life’s disappointment by burying what they don’t want to feel deep down on the inside. When in actuality, that strategy is only a temporary fix to a problem that could escalate to more severe problems. It can be an emotional volcano waiting to erupt and spill onto people who genuinely want to be a viable support system. Sometimes hurt, people hurt other people in hopes of transferring their pain onto them. That is not transferring pain from one to another. It is merely spreading pain amongst each other like a contagious disease.
Some even try to hide their true feelings from others because they feel that no one has the right solution to fix their problems, and encouragement can feel more irritating than helpful. They can feel stuck and do not know how to move forward. Another person’s opinion in a situation is only sometimes useful. When someone is struggling, they can’t always visualize the resolution that others outside of their circumstances may see. A person in emotional or mental pain sometimes
goes out of their way to make loved ones happy…trying to prevent them from noticing how much they are hurting on the inside.
There are people who want to help you feel empowered genuinely. To believe in yourself and be the best version of yourself…one day at a time. The best version of yourself is not how society sees you. The best version of yourself loves yourself and honors yourself. Knowing that you are worthy, lovable, and valuable. The best version of you is working on your self-esteem, practicing self-love, and accepting self-compassion. Remember who you are while becoming the best version of yourself. Once you reach that goal, you can have the ability to handle situations that may arise.
If you feel broken, you don’t have to be alone. If you are silent or suspect someone else is, please reach out for help. No one may understand your pain, but some people desire to help you manage your pain. Reliving what you have imprisoned can be painful, emotional, stressful, and fearful. Sometimes getting past that first cry can be a start toward healing. Even if you don’t know what to do next, trained people want to help and support you.
To help lessen your problems. Let someone walk with you. We are our brothers’; and sisters’ keepers.
Growing up, fitting in always seemed like a struggle for me, and I felt like I had to change myself to fit into certain friend groups or to make me seem like less of a weird quiet kid. When I was younger, I was very much to myself and didn’t go out to hang out with other kids my age. I had extreme anxiety, which made me want to stay in the house most of the time. I would look at the other girls in school, thinking about ways to change myself so they would like me or think I was enough.
In elementary school, I always had a change of attitude that I thought got me somewhere in life, but it just made me miss out on real friends who just wanted me for me. That was always hard and confusing for me to handle. It was in middle school when I felt like my life had changed. It was a whole different change of space. At the age of 13, I started feeling depressed completely out of it and continuously having suicidal thoughts, thinking that no one could understand what I was going through and that everyone believed what I was saying was just me complaining or just repeating things I might see on social media, but that was how I actually felt so I just stayed quiet and kept to myself. I handled my pain on my own without any experience in how even to positively affect my mental health. I started to get mad at myself, crying every night and praying that God would lead me to the right path and make all these worries disappear.
I went to therapy, but that wasn’t good enough for me. I talked to my parents, and even then, I still felt Wrong. I tried talking to close friends. All they could say is I’m here for you, and I’m sorry, and I hope you get better, but none of that is ever enough for me. I continued to change myself and try different mindsets to maybe make me feel whole again and help me live a better life. All those times, I still didn’t truly feel like myself.
I never really knew who I was or what I wanted in life. I had felt mentally abused by myself, but then one night, I suddenly felt a relief of happiness. It made me come to a lack of uncertainty because out of all the hours I had spent just wondering each day why I was still here and that I should stop trying. I used to think that if I wasn’t here anymore, I could finally feel at peace and not worry about others’ feedback on how I was constantly feeling. That night changed me for the better. It felt like God finally heard me and helped me handle myself because he knew that I couldn’t do it all by myself, and I’m so thankful for that. I finally felt better about living and just being here and making good memories of my life.
I am now a freshman in high school, and I feel like a better version of myself. I realized that I needed to stop worrying about the small things in life and how people might see me and love myself on how I present myself each day and too be patient and make it easy on myself because I know I have a hard time understanding and get overwhelmed by little things in life. I know that many feelings are going through my head at once all the time, so it’s important for me to give myself a moment to breathe to get back on track.
Some things that have helped me through my struggles are just taking myself on little personal dates such as self-care, going outside, hanging out with my friends and siblings when I have the chance, and just getting school work done so there is no procrastination and I feel as though I have something to stress about. I get angry at myself often and get uncomfortable in my body, so I like to surround myself with things that make me happy, such as music, dancing, selflove videos, and getting dressed up to feel good about myself and be around people that love me.
I feel as though when it comes to my
anxiety, I just got over it along the way, but it wasn’t easy. Something that helped me when it came time to be in public is just reminding myself to stay true to who I really am and slowly getting out of that bubble I felt I was trapped in my whole life so I don’t miss out on any fun opportunities because I know that you only live once, so I couldn’t just waste it by letting my anxiety Constantly hold me down. There are those times when I need to be by myself, so I like to sit in my room and write in my journal to keep updates on how I’m feeling so I can look back at them and see what I have accomplished so far. of course I still have those moments where I still get upset out of nowhere. Still, now I know how to care for myself better to make it not happen as much.
I have a vision of where I want to see myself in life, and starting to make it come to reality makes me happy. God willing, I will get to that point in life and become the successful black woman I dream of being one day, with nothing but everlasting relief and happiness. I have become closer to God along the way of my mental health journey, realizing that he was the real medicine I was looking for and that I should live my life because all the things I go through I know will make sense in the future.
“
That I was looking for and that I should just live my life because all the things that I go through I know will all makes sense in the future.
Trinity Skye Sterling, a Maryland native who currently resides in Millersville, Maryland with parents. She is the youngest of 2 adult sisters and one adult brother. Trinity is currently a freshman at Old Mill Senior High School. Her favorite subject is English because she enjoys creating stories. Trinity’s favorite food is pasta and baby pink is her favorite color. In her free time, she enjoys dancing, singing, and art. Trinity serves as an usher and youth choir member, as well as a praise dancer in her church. She loves animals. Trinity has a bird named Leo, a Yorkshire terrier named Biscuit, and her personal favorite, a bearded dragon named Kiwi. She enjoys making people smile with her fun and outgoing personality and wit.
Caring for children with special needs is definitely not for the faint of heart. From learning and understanding your child’s diagnosis, it is a challenging responsibility to navigate the mental health and/or educational systems. Parents must learn about the disability, research the disability and locate and access effective treatments and resources to understand the emotional and physical demands of caring for a child with a disability. Self-care is prioritizing your well-being to live a mentally healthy life. Physical, mental, and emotional domains are areas of self-care.
You need to understand your needs, thoughts, and emotions surrounding the disability. It is a great idea to make a
To show up as the best version of yourself and truly support your child and/or loved one, you have to pour into yourself. It is important to create a self-care plan and stick to it.
physical/digital plan. What are the things that make you feel good? What replenishes your soul? It can be a hot shower, a hot cup of tea, coffee, or quiet time. What is required to keep you balanced? Caring for a child with special needs can throw you off balance. It is crucial to keep yourself grounded and centered. Self-care is essential to help replenish a parent’s energy, positivity, and balance. Caring for special needs children requires balance. They are oftentimes mentally, emotionally, and physically demanding.
Tamara A. Dopwell. LMSW NYC School Social WorkerOwner of Let’s Talk About It (Social Service Organization)
Social Entrepreneur//Owner of Designs by Tee LLC
www.instagram.com/designsbytee3
Establishing a regular and early bedtime routine for your child is important. This routine permits you enough time to decompress and plan for the next day. You will have sufficient time to relax with your favorite book or movie. Allow yourself enough time to disconnect from your role as caretaker. It would help if you had adequate time to rest and recharge. This downtime may be the perfect time to journal.
Self-care truly gives parents a chance to connect with themselves. Self-care allows you to pour into yourself. It is so crucial when caring for a special needs child. Your mental health is at risk, and you may become emotionally fragile if you do not put the proper measures in place. Self-care will permit you to have the capacity to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties during this season of your life.
As you are caretaking, remember to get the support that you need. Create a community of individuals who understand what you are experiencing and can offer a supportive environment. Create a community of individuals who make you feel safe and understood. Find time for the things that you love. Remember that you are an individual with your own needs and emotions and need to be poured into as well. Learn about your government-sponsored resources for respite. Knowing what is available to you before a crisis can further support your self-care routine. Last but not least, seek out a supportive faith-based organization to help feed and nurture your faith.
1. Breastfeeding – There is a saying that “Breast is Best,” & another saying that “Fed is Best.” Whatever philosophy you choose to subscribe to is your personal conviction. One of the physiological benefits of breastfeeding is the release of oxytocin and serotonin. Oxytocin induces a state of calm and reduces stress. Serotonin is another hormone that is released. It influences your happiness and counters depression and anxiety.
could be someone’s mother in the physical and provide that role. This purpose could be mentally fulfilling for the woman and the child by providing support, companionship, and nurturing.
4. Cuteness Overload – Seeing your baby’s gummy smile is the most rewarding feeling a mother can have. Just the thought of them can bring a sense of inner joy. This joy can do wonders for your mental health.
If you’re having a bad day, you can cuddle with them, kiss them, or play
As a second-time mother, this topic is near and dear to my heart. I have a 6-year-old and a 6-month-old. While there is an age gap, there are many benefits to having them spread apart like this. For example, some benefits are that I have a little helper, their needs are different, and I have only one daycare bill at a time. IYKYK! (If you know, you know)
As I was preparing to write this article and did a general search about mental health and motherhood, it seemed that most lists and articles were negative or provided a warning. I wanted this article to be different and have a positive, uplifting tone. So, here’s my list of 5 things about mental health & motherhood:
2. Self-Discovery – Motherhood really helps you to figure out your likes and dislikes. It may take some mothers longer than others to figure this out, but it is eye-opening. Of course, focusing on the baby is a priority, but in that time, you will learn what you need from your spouse, family, and yourself. For example, you may determine that you need to take walks to have peace and quiet. You might want to enjoy a pedicure as self-care.
3. Purpose – While some may find purpose in a career, volunteer opportunities, or other projects, motherhood could be why God created you. Mentally caring for and providing for another person can increase your worthiness. While God tells us that we are worthy by just being, He can also declare that your purpose is being a mother. You can have natural-born children, adoptive children, or provide motherly qualities to a child in need. One’s purpose
with them to give you a big emotional boost. While you think that you’re doing the baby a favor by entertaining them, you’re helping yourself too!
5. Direction – Motherhood can impact your direction and trajectory for your future. Direction is similar to purpose but is different because it steers you into the “what next.” Without direction or knowledge of where your life is heading, motherhood will allow you to make better decisions for yourself and your child. In addition, it provides a different level of responsibility and could offer mental stability for some.
All in all, motherhood can benefit you mentally. It is a lifelong commitment that offers various internal and external prizes along the way. It can be a rewarding experience if you look for positivity in the situation. Children are a blessing and can impact your mind, mood, and mental.
Terrance Williams is the Founder of Meta Wellness. The company provides affordable Virtual Reality platforms for mental health professionals to conduct their telehealth sessions, group sessions, trainings, exposure therapy and etc in the metaverse.
As a pioneer in exposing mental health into virtual reality Terrance has created platofrms that help clients conquer their phobias. For example he created and elevator simulation for a client with claustrophobia. The client enters the elevator and the walls start to sink in and tighten around the client. This helps the client face their fear. Terrance has also built simulations for people suffering from anger management, schizophrenia, anorexia and etc.
Terrance has also built support groups in the metaverse for children suffering from PTSD and gun violence. This community space has allowed these children to have a safe place to talk about their problems while also
enjoying things like basketball, football and etc all in virtual reality.
RUM: What does mental health and wellness mean to you?
TERRANCE: Mental Health and Wellness are as important as physical health. It is the constant battle our minds face in our everyday lives. Mental Health and Wellness are about getting people to be the victor, not the victim, in their battle.
RUM: Tell us about your work related to mental health and wellness.
TERRANCE: My company builds virtual reality platforms for mental health professionals. We have built one-on-one sessions, group
therapy, exposure therapy, and more. Our work helps put people in an environment where they can see the beautiful scenery of the rocky mountains or relax on a beach in Costa Rica. The interactive platforms we build help get people to overcome phobias like claustrophobia or help patients who have schizophrenia. Our platforms tackle every mental health angle, and the results have been amazing.
RUM: How has Meta Wellness changed telehealth?
TERRANCE: As technology grows, so will how we use telehealth. Not too long ago, the internet seemed like a dumb idea, and now it’s a part of our everyday lives. As of now, telehealth
is done with Zoom, and being able to have a session in virtual reality is naturally the only next step. The benefit of our platforms is that instead of being on Zoom, you will feel like you are with your client as if you are both in the same room.
RUM: How does your virtual telehealth software help with phobias, mental health, and eating disorders?
TERRANCE: We have done a lot with exposure therapy. We had a client with claustrophobia, so we built an elevator in virtual reality. As you enter the elevator, the walls shake, closing in on you. Being able to control this experience for the client was monumental, and he now has conquered his fear of claustrophobia.
RUM: How has MetaWellness helped with Trauma Informed, Group, and Couples Therapy?
TERRANCE: The ability to see yourself and your peers in a digital state has allowed people to be more open and honest about their experiences and feelings. We see a lot of that, especially in group and marriage therapy.
RUM: Any final words?
TERRANCE: If you’re reading this, you are already impacting mental health and wellness. Remember why you started!
We would love to work with you. If you would like a platform visit us at www.metawellness.space.
We will change mental health forever together!
Darkness
It’s the thing I’m most familiar with
The crippling feeling of fear creeps down my spine
I can’t breathe It engulfs me
Fills my lungs with a sea of doubt
Sending me down a path of emptiness
I sit quietly in the midst of my war
Swallowing back words I dare not speak
Like you do when you return in the mornings
Its like clockwork
The silence echoes between us
Depression chokeholds me in a Vice grip
I lie in bed waiting for your return
Like the sun to the morning
And the moon to the night
Depression is the little echo in my ear
I can’t seem to live without
Expressive arts are powerful ways for people to express their emotions. Those who suffer from mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, etc., can also benefit from expressive arts therapy. Many people use poems, narratives, and other spoken words to promote well-being and healing. It is a multimodal approach that utilizes various methods, including writing, music, visual arts, drama, and dance, to help people achieve personal growth.
When you think about video games and kids, what comes to mind? Perhaps you think of obsessed kids, overconsumption, sleep deprivation, and addiction. In recent years, video games have gained a bad reputation for overconsumption and contribute to increased psychological and physical problems for young people. However, research has shown that video games can also positively affect mental health and well-being, especially as a coping mechanism for stress.
Stress is a typical response to changes and challenges, and life is full of those — even during childhood. It can be caused by various factors like moves, unexpected losses, exposure to domestic violence, incarceration, substance use within the family, poor household communication styles, or simply the daily ebbs and flow of life that trigger responses for adults and children alike. Learning to cope with stress is essential to survive life, and in this piece, we explore how one young gamer used video games as a powerful tool for self-care, providing a way to disconnect from the world and find peace from the emotional noise of his childhood.
I want to introduce you to “Anonymous B,” an African American young adult willing to invite us into his virtual world.
Amanda: What should we know about you?
Anonymous B: “I have a very quiet personality and can be nervous or anxious most of the time. My friends would all agree that I am normally quiet, but once I get to know you, I tend to become more active around you like I am with my friends. Video games are my hobby that I’ll continue till the end of my life, and it’s just a part of me at this point”.
Escapism to a Virtual World
Video games are known to help manage stress and anxiety in both children and adults. Games offer an escape from the challenges of everyday life, allowing players to enter a virtual world where they can relax and take their minds off their worries. When playing video games, the player is completely immersed in the game, giving a sense of control and mastery over the situation, which they don’t always have in real life.
Amanda: Did video games become an escape for you? If it did, did it start there, or how did that evolve?
Anonymous B: “When you’re younger, you see it as something to play with, like a toy. When you grow up, you realize it’s more than a game- it’s people,
community, and for me, it also became a tool for expression.”
He described one of his favorite activities: creating worlds within the games. He adds the game “lets me make anything I want, and that also lets me sometimes even express my feelings that I may be holding inside into a creation. It really is like a form of art within a video game.”
While some may argue that video games can exacerbate anxiety and addiction, and I believe there is a fine line, research shows that moderate gaming can improve mental health. Gaming in moderation can be a healthy escape and an effective coping mechanism when dealing with stressful or unexpected situations.
Amanda: I think we sometimes perceive video games to have creative and expressive value in how you describe them. Does that translate outside the game?
Anonymous B: “Now I’m in college for gaming so that it can translate into other things. Because I’ve been doing it for so long, my skills have grown, and it helps me in class. Also, when using it to distress and relax, it does boost my mood, I’m more productive when I have that space, and it also helps me socialize and have an open mind outside of the game to other things.”
Why Playing Video Games Can Be Therapeutic
Escapism to a virtual world is a form of coping. Taking a break from life or our triggers and stress is always helpful to give our mind and body time to rest and regulate. One of the goals that we teach clients in therapy is to recognize their zone of tolerance for emotions. As emotions elevate, we want them to utilize coping skills before it gets harder to handle and leads to a response like anger, worry, fast breathing, or freezing at crucial times. So what do you use as a safe and reasonable break for you? As Anonymous B has shared, video games can be a similar outlet to help one regain control, making it a useful coping skill.
As he described, when playing video games, players can focus on the task at hand, putting aside their worries and feeling a sense of accomplishment as they complete tasks. By immersing themselves in a virtual world, players can temporarily forget their problems and focus on something more manageable. This virtual world can be an effective way to unwind or take a break from the pressures of everyday life.
Amanda: How did video games help you cope with stress and regulate some of your experiences?
“I would probably be a completely different person without it.”
Anonymous B: “I have also experienced quite a lot of family trauma and things that I shouldn’t have had to experience at a young age which could have affected my future self. With everything that’s happened in my past, it is sometimes hard to look forward, but I am actively trying to improve myself.”
Gaming as a form of self-care: how video games can improve mental health.”
Although it may seem unlikely, video games are emerging as a popular form of self-care for individuals struggling with anxiety, depression, and
other mental health issues. Video games allow people to immerse themselves in something different than their reality, where they can put their problems on pause- the goal of any good self-care task.
But When is it Too Much?
Amanda: What do you wish people understood about video games?
Anonymous B: “That it’s not a bad thing, and you shouldn’t judge it so quickly if you don’t know anything about it.”
Amanda: What about the parents who worry it’s too much for their children?
Anonymous B: “As a kid, you want to play video games more than anything else, and it’s up to parents to set some limits because they don’t have it. But, it would help if you also learned to loosen up as they get older. You don’t want to control your child for too long because they must enter the real world. The more you do for them or shelter them from, the harder it will be for them to figure out that world.”
This article was an insightful conversation on the positives of video games, and I appreciate the openness of this interview. I agree with B that we have to provide limits for our children and teach them how to make decisions so they can better navigate their real worlds as well. I’m not sure where you stand, but it’s allowed me to come from a place of greater understanding with my children and clients around the value of limits, and their perceived value of video games, which can be a coping tool for them whether it is socially or emotionally.
While video games may not be a substitute for professional treatment, video games can be a valuable tool for self-care, relaxation, and mental health support. Ultimately, the key is to find a healthy balance in how we use video games in our lives, just like any other form of entertainment or self-care activity.
Q: How can I handle my teen’s negative behaviors without causing them to shut down and shut me out?
Anonymous Reston, VA
Hey there! First, I want to say, EXHALE! Raising humans is not easy. What most of our teen clients say about how their parents communicate with them is they want to be heard and not be lectured all the time. With that in mind, ask yourself how do I sound to my child? Am I using nonjudgmental language and focusing on the behavior, not the person? Am I leaving room to hear and acknowledge their side (even if you don’t agree), and am I giving them space to calm down and even a little grace to gather their thoughts?
Think about what calls out the behavior, gives them space, and still maintains expectations.
For example, if you notice they didn’t do their chores, you can say, “I noticed that you did not do your laundry this weekend,” instead of, “you are so lazy and irresponsible and grounded for three weeks.”
Another tactic in teen parenting- find a mentor for your teen who can touch base with them regularly and provide guidance. Adolescents is a period of natural shifting away from parents as teens prepare to launch out in the world as young adults, and they tend to hold more value in the people around them- so surround them with good people!
All the best, Amanda Fludd, LCSWR,CCTP for Rallyup Magazine
You can find me at www.intagram. com/therapyisdope
https://adaa.org/find-help/bydemographics/black-african-americancommunities www.therapyforblackmen.org https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/ www.cliniciansofcolor.org
Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R,CCTP is a Licensed Psychotherapist, Mental Health Consultant, Speaker, and Mindset Coach to High Achieving Entrepreneurs.
Find her on Instagram @amanda.fludd, @therapyisdope, or www.amandafludd.com.
Reference: Five Actionable Steps to Overcome Fear and Anxiety by Amanda Fludd: https://amandafludd. com/2022/04/21/steps-to-overcome-fearand-anxiety/
Which of the following is a priority and the most challenging to work on, physical health, mental health, spiritual health, or personal relationships?
I recently came across a post on social media in a Facebook group where a member asked the question. I don’t know why this post struck me, but it did. It made me think about how many of us believe we have to choose when it comes to taking care of ourselves. So many of us feel we must choose one area over the other, but in reality, they are all priorities. They all pose a challenge at times, but they all require continuous work and progress for us to grow. Below is a snippet of my response to the post:
They all can pose a challenge, depending on where you are. They all require you to go through a continual process that will grow, mature, and elevate you. Like your physical training (the person was into his physique), they will strengthen and develop you over time. It might be painful at times, and you may even want to quit, but from what I can see, you endure what is necessary for maximum results, and with God, nothing is too hard, and nothing is impossible. Like in weight training, He will never put more on you than you can bear. He is your spotter.
There was so much more to be said in this post that led me to this article. First, we must understand that if we are malnourished in any of the four areas, it impacts all the others. They are all interconnected. Just think, if we are not grounded spiritually, it will show in our mental health, physical health, and relationships. If we are not doing the necessary things for our mental health, it will cause us not to work on our bodies, minds, spirits, or relationships. The enemy likes to play with our minds making us think things that go against what the word says about who we are. If we are not caring for our physical bodies, which will require us to eat right, exercise, rest, etc., then we are too exhausted to focus on the other areas. Lastly, if we are not focusing on the people in our lives, this, too, will impact everything else. Here are some suggestions on how you can focus on all areas daily:
Spiritual – Start your day by reading the Bible. Incorporate prayer, praise, and worship into your morning routine. If that’s not your thing, you can start with meditation. Try setting your mindset to think about positive things. Recite affirmations that will help get your day on the right track. Listen to motivational messages. Establish a routine if you don’t have one already.
Mental – Try some breathing exercises. Therapy works. Declutter your life and your mind. Eliminate distractions. Disconnect from social media and avoid triggers. Follow your doctor’s orders if given specific instructions. Journal your thoughts.
Physical – Get in the gym. Try running or walking. Stretching while listening to motivational messages can be
helpful with your spiritual and mental wellness. Working out is good for mental health and can be incorporated with spiritual exercises. Watch what you eat. Certain foods can impact your mood, which in turn will affect your mental health and even your spiritual health.
Relationships – Be kind. Love others. Value your relationships. Love and kindness incorporate spiritual, physical, and mental fortitude. It requires daily action. Doing good things naturally makes you feel good, which makes your body feel good, AND it pleases God. Avoiding toxic relationships and embracing healthy relationships leads to an overall, not perfect, but happy life.
These are just a FEW suggestions, but there are so many more. You can do these things daily, and all areas really do work together. If we have to prioritize one, focusing on our spiritual health would be first. For me, that is my relationship with God. I start my day communicating with Him, which helps me to work on the rest. Know that putting God first will help you in all other areas. Understand that your spiritual, mental, physical, and relational health is all important and requires focused attention daily. Putting off one for the other will leave another area vulnerable and can lead to more problems down the road. It is about making YOU and all aspects of who you are a priority. It is about selfcare and presenting the best version of yourself and ensuring you have what you need to be there for others.
RUM: Describe to us your work as it relates to mental health and wellness.
PURENESS: My business has always touched many physically, and of course, as a Makeup/Hair Artist, the main focus for my clients is the outer outcome. However, for me, their inner makeover, paired with lifting them from the inside out, is my main intention. When clients have completed a beauty session with me, they have often said they felt beautiful, even before seeing a mirror, due to the transformation on the inside as well. The more I received this feedback, I realized not only did I have a gift to touch people but the gift of sharing. So I decided to share what I have learned about mental health and mental fitness in a book called Pure Mental Fitness.
RUM: As a makeup artist, you make women beautiful, and it builds their esteem. How do you stay confident when you are not feeling your best or looking your best?
PURENESS: As an artist, I had had times when I knew I didn’t fit the general standards of beauty; however, I still loved myself as me. I built my
inner love and strength so much that I could let my positivity feed others around me. Being in self-love is not a part-time thing or something that happens in downtime; it’s ongoing for a lifetime. That keeps me going, and I can see my best parts to be the best for myself and others.
RUM: What are some things you do to push through and encourage others when you need encouragement?
PURENESS: There have been times I had personal battles to deal with; however, I always ensured my clients were put first in my space. Because of this, when I speak with others about their life struggles, it helps me reflect and assess my hurdles as well. I love sharing tips on how I got through tough times and felt amazed and proud of my goals and accomplishments. There are so many ways we can take charge of our lives that we can learn what works best for us and become dedicated to building our best selves.There are so many
RUM: You wrote a book titled, “Pure Mental Fitness,” what inspired you? ... and what impact do you hope it has?
PURENESS: I had things I needed to work through, and initially, I didn’t think I could do it. I had accomplished many things before, but this was the one thing I felt may be impossible. When I finally cleared my issues and lost 250 lbs, I knew I could not only do anything but also let others know they could. So I had to put pen to paper and share what I did to finally conquer all parts of my mental health
Taking the time to be real about what we face from day to day and what it takes to get through it is imperative.
with Pure Mental Fitness.
My goal is to help even just one person, with just about any battle they face, by using the simple tools I have set out in this book. I want people to come out feeling encouraged and determined to take charge and control their lives. I also want readers to learn their values and always strive for the best of themselves, for themselves!
RUM: People tend to focus
more on external beauty over healing and wholeness on the outside. How important is it that you focus on your mental health and self-care over your outside appearance?
PURENESS: It is so vital for us to see ourselves from our inner mirror. It reflects outwardly and really reflects who we are and the life we live. Outer “beauty” only goes as far as inner
beauty will allow. Our inner beauty is based on how well we nurture our mental health and emotional well-being. So many underestimate how powerful these elements of ourselves are. As a Makeup/Hair Artist, I can see stress, depression, and pain in the skin, scalp, hair, and eyes. I have seen clients that have started healing their inner selves and not only reverse any negative results that their pains may have caused but feel they became even more beautiful outwardly. So never put self-care on the back burner. It is more important than you may think.
RUM: You mentioned that you left a toxic relationship and lost 240 lbs.Can you tell us about the impact that toxic relationship had on your mental health and your journey of healing?
PURENESS: When I finally left a toxic relationship everything became clear. I realized all of my years were dedicated to one person that wasn’t good for me. This person meant to shape me and protect me had their own version of what that meant and looked like. The impact this person had on my life was so immense that it affected my every move in life. Because of this I spent all of my years pleasing instead of living. It took a lot of time to finally build up the courage to tell them how I felt, and finally let it go. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but my life has seen so much growth, peace and happiness since. The big bonus was regaining my health and losing 240 Lbs which was the icing on the cake.
RUM: Any final words?
PURENESS: I want anyone that is on a journey to give themselves grace. You have what it takes to see it to the end and will have a beautiful story to tell because of it. I would also love for anyone thinking about taking charge of their mental well-being to know that it won’t be easy, but it will be so worth it.
We’re not trying to win a race, we are trying to win our lives! “ ”
Mental health is a crucial aspect of our overall well being, and it can significantly impact our relationships. When we are in a romantic relationship, we share their lives, hopes, dreams, and struggles with each other. In this process, our mental health can have a profound impact on the relationship’s dynamics. Mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and other mental illnesses, can have adverse effects on both partners and their relationship. It is, therefore, essential for us to prioritize our mental health and address any issues that may arise in our relationships.
One of the most significant challenges we as couples face is communicating about mental health. Mental health issues can be stigmatized, which can create barriers to communication. However, it is essential for us to talk about mental health openly and honestly in our relationships. Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and when it comes to mental health, it is crucial to be transparent and vulnerable. Partners must be able to express their emotions and concerns without fear of judgment or rejection.
Another challenge is supporting your partner’s mental health while maintaining your own. It can be challenging to support your partner through mental health issues without neglecting your own mental health. It is crucial to prioritize your self-care and communicate your needs with your partner. It is also essential to recognize when you need help and seek support from a therapist or mental health professional.
Couples should also educate themselves on mental health issues and how they can impact their relationship. Understanding the signs and symptoms of mental illness can help partners recognize when their partner may be struggling and take appropriate action. It is also important to learn healthy coping mechanisms and ways
to support your partner through difficult times.
In some cases, seeking professional help may be necessary to address mental health issues in a relationship. Couples therapy can be a powerful tool in addressing mental health issues and improving communication and intimacy. A therapist can provide guidance and support to help couples navigate mental health challenges and strengthen their relationship.
So here are 10 steps that can help you improve your mental health in a relationship:
Make self-care a priority: Take time for yourself to do things that you enjoy and that make you feel good. This could be anything from taking a bubble bath to going for a walk.
Communicate often and openly: Be honest with your partner about your mental health and how you’re feeling. Don’t be afraid to ask for support when you need it.
Don’t be afraid to set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your partner to protect your mental health. This could include limiting the amount of time you spend together or setting boundaries around topics of conversation.
Practice mindfulness: Take time to focus on the present moment and be mindful of
your thoughts and feelings. This can help you manage stress and anxiety.
Exercise regularly: Exercise has been shown to have numerous mental health benefits, including reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Maintain a healthy and balanced diet: Eating a healthy and balanced diet can also help improve your mental health. Focus on eating plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.
Get an appropriate amount of sleep: Lack of sleep can have a significant impact on your mental health. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep each night.
Seek professional help: If you’re struggling with mental health issues, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or mental health professional can provide support and guidance.
Practice gratitude: Take time each day to reflect on things you’re grateful for. This can help improve your mood and outlook on life.
Spend time with supportive friends and family: Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. Spending time with friends and family can have a positive impact on your mental health.
In conclusion, mental health is a crucial aspect of any relationship, and couples should prioritize their mental health and communicate openly and honestly about mental health issues. It is important to educate yourself, seek support, and recognize when professional help is necessary. By prioritizing mental health, we can build stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships.
