BLUSH | H E A LT H & F I T N E S S
Liberate
Your Love Life
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arth to all those reading – you don’t have to be swinging from the chandeliers in nothing but nipple tassels to enjoy a healthy lovely sex life, (with or without a partner). The point is, sex is an important part of being human – it is a pleasure and energetically cathartic, and it can make us feel great on several levels... releasing those happy hormones; and making us feel loved and valued – this is the case if you are selfpleasuring or with a partner (or several). There are no limitations on what you could do in the bedroom – or indeed, in the car, the kitchen and so on ... but sex doesn’t have to be raunchy and experimental to be great, because a nice slice of afternoon vanilla delight can be just what the doctor ordered. The main thing whenever referring to sexual activity is for it to be mutually consensual. And this leads to the first of these seven sexy tips that will have you feeling liberated when it comes to your love life...
Tip 1:
If you don’t like it – don’t do it – but don’t mock it if you haven’t tried it either. Know the difference between being curious and feeling safe enough to try something new, compared with feeling pressured either by peers or by your partner. Just because your best friend enjoys something and raves about it over your catch-up coffee doesn’t mean it is right for you and your partner. And just because your partner wants you to do something – even
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if you are in a committed relationship – this doesn’t mean it is something you have to do! For those in committed partnerships, if there are clashes with styles of how and where and what you enjoy in the bedroom, then you are going to have to communicate more; discuss what it is you are both after from each other and this alone can be liberating, and even a form of foreplay.
Tip 2: Moving nicely on to foreplay – some people love it, some get bored, some don’t get it at all – or understand it. Foreplay can be as basic as a wink, or a flirtatious look or comment, a gentle touch or a full-on grope; leading on to more intimate interactions. Again, you need to be able to communicate with your partner – this does not mean stopping half way through an interaction and asking a practical or scientific question, (often a massive turn off). We’ve all been there! Human communication is made up of over 80% body language and other signals – so if you can sense your partner needs a little assistance unwinding, then help them out a bit – you are in this together so to speak... and if it is you that needs some extra prep time then encourage it or discuss this with your partner at a convenient point – so when the time arrives it isn’t a surprise when you grab their head and direct it to a desired spot. Tip 3: Know when to stop talking. A little bit of flirtatious banter is great. As is a tad bit of pillow talk. Or Raunchy chat! But there is a fine balance right!? Communicate, yes. But hold back on those off-putting conversations for when you are doing the dishes and not when you are doing each other. Try not to even think distracting thoughts, you know the ones like – What should I make for dinner? Or did I lock the car? Or what is that strange mark on their shoulder? If you have any level of conversation
with your own thoughts or with each other, then it is bound to be about general life; the stresses, the special moments, the family tension, finances... and the list goes on. All passion killers! You want to liberate your mind and free thoughts so you can enjoy each other... whether you are new partners and you are fretting over the other’s judgment, or long-term partners that need to discuss the loft conversion – just shush already! Park it all for now, and free yourself. Yep, let go completely and enjoy what comes. You may have to physically bite your tongue to stop thinking or talking... better still go in for the kiss and gently bite your partner’s lips. There, easy! Sharing a shower can also help you both stop the chatter, or massaging each other to a point of relaxation (another great foreplay option).
Tip 4: No tipples... You probably are screaming at the page at this point. Look, one glass of something is nice to unwind. But drunk sex isn’t that liberating – it is a pseudo liberator – yes, the inhibitions are down – but it’s sexier to choose the passion and togetherness without the clumsiness, fuzzy head or bloated feeling. Tip 5: First timers – those who are getting down to it with a new partner for the first time – may want to consider keeping it simple. See what happens naturally – enjoy each other. Learn about each other’s bodies. Even go slow... but maybe it is best to save the kinky ideas for the second, third, or future date; this way neither of you will be pressured to perform, and you won’t be setting expectations. Sorry to sound like your mother - but be prepared too! Ensure you have contraception covered, unless of course you are planning a family immediately, then go with the flow and the more relaxed you are, the more likely you will conceive straightaway. sevenstarmedia.co.uk
Author: J P Martin
Look, let’s just jump to it ... we’re talking about S E X ...
