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MENTAL HEALTH TOPIC This is not my story, this is the story of my two children: The eldest is Bi-Polar with psychotic outbursts. The youngest has anxiety and depression that can manifest into self-harm. My own story is that I don’t have a Mental Health issue! And I don’t know what to do to be a part of my children’s stories, or whether I even should be...
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hat do you do when your beautiful vibrant child becomes so heightened and agitated that you can’t understand what they are saying? You can’t decipher the words that are coming out of their mouth like a machine gun! When your child then suddenly drops so low that they hate so deeply and they are unable to lift their own head up due to the weight of loathing for everything and everyone around them? What do you do when your child is manic then psychosis sets in? What would you do with the violent, trashing of the room, screaming and lashing out at her family; when the police and the paramedics come and your child has no idea the reasons why –
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even as she stands amongst the turned over furniture and smashed crockery? What do you do when they look at you with so much confusion? They look at you with hatred in their eyes, so much hate! What do you do? What do you do when you are presented with a Family Violence Order to ‘protect’ you from your own child? What do you do when your youngest child; your baby, just can’t seem to find happiness? When you find out that they don’t like their life! What do you do when you realise that your youngest child starts to cut themselves in order to release the pain they feel? What do you do when you ask them why they feel so sad and they can’t tell you, they have no idea the reasons why? What do you do when your child is covered in scars from self-harming? What do you do when your child moves away to start their own life without any support; when that child refuses to leave their apartment for days on end? What do you do when they just stop talking to humans; when you can’t reach them by phone and there is no one else around other than the police to check on them? What do you do when they tell you that you are overreacting and they won’t take your calls for a while; when they tell you to calm down that they are fine… this time. As their mum, what do I do? There seems to be no real reasons for their Mental Health issues; not ones that are tangible, some actual things I can point to
and say “ah ha so they’re the reasons why!” But that’s what I need! Reasons behind Mental Health rearing its ugly head into their beautiful lives. I need things to blame for the feelings my children cannot control, the feelings I cannot fix. And that there, perhaps, is the actual issue; I have made their Mental Health about me, about my story. But their stories are not mine! My eldest daughter ‘Thalia’ is the life of the party; so much fun and energetic – she is Bi-Polar and has bouts of violent psychosis. My youngest daughter ‘Herahni’ is a little more reserved but the friend everyone wants – she suffers with depression, and she self-harms. Both girls are popular, witty, very intelligent and beautiful, and they have a pathological need to destroy themselves on varying levels. They had a pretty good upbringing; no violence, no alcohol to speak of, we are an open family – so no taboo topics. We discussed with honesty all worldly subjects, from human rights to recreational drugs. Growing up, the children didn’t want for much, they lived a comfortable lifestyle. They both got part-time jobs, saved money, went out with friends and did the usual teenage things, but for Thalia everything was done in overdrive; full throttle. As for Herahni, she was a little quieter, reflective and selective. When they both moved away to attend university, there was no outward pressure – no student loans; they were provided with housing; they had financial and family support. Thalia had the opportunity to study abroad including travelling through Europe.
What do you do when your child is manic then psychosis sets in?
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