The Quibbler Spring 2022

Page 92

QUIBBLER AUROR LOGS

LAW ENFORCEMENT REPORTS BREAKING NEWS: MLE is pleased to announce live reports of some of these logs on Wizard radio station, "Twitch.tv/powergamersdandd" every other Friday at 6:30PM PST MAGICAL LAW ENFORCEMENT PATROL:

DEPARTMENT OF INTOXICATING SUBSTANCES

◊ 03/04/22 5:45 PM - Three youths arrested while attempting to float a double decker bus into the stratosphere.

◊ 01/9/22 9:17 PM - Authorities apprehended a young wizard selling illicit troll snot. When questioned, the wizard claimed he was "holding it for a friend".

DEPARTMENT FOR THE REGULATION AND CONTROL OF MAGICAL CREATURES: ◊ 02/15/22 6:45 AM - 300 Doxie eggs were rescued from a hoarder's house. They are to be humanely relocated. ◊ 03/30/22 11:11 AM - Unidentifed creature escaped from the Hogsmeade Zoo. Zookeepers describe it as neither tall nor short and neither thin nor fat. If spotted please alert authorities immediately.

IMPROPER USE OF MAGIC OFFICE ◊ 02/04/22 2:33 PM - Authorities were called to the house of an elderly wizard couple after the gentlemen reported meat loaf appearing at random intervals in their living room. The culprit was later determined to be the neighbor's 5 year old son who did not want to eat his dinner. The parents were issued a stern warning.

DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES ◊ sdfasdfsadfsadfsaddfagdhhgdasfsdfsdfsdfsfsdfasdfasdf ◊ sadfdfsafasdfsadfghshfdcvdfd ◊ asdfdafsadafjdlkjfls;daj ladfjkadsfkdsjflkasjdalkjf bajfhkjsdfhkjsdhfksdhfksjjjj ◊ sdafdfdsafsadfsadfsdfsdfsdfsdfasdfsdfsdfsdfsdfasdfdsfsdf ◊ sdafdffgfsfsgfvvcvacdagfagdagadgadfgaggdfsfsdfsadf ◊ dsasajghfklajfhauhhnfksdjhfsjkdahfkjasdfhkjasdhfksdhfksdhfkadsjhfksahfksafhkasdhfksakdjhfkjaksdfhkjasdhfkjdsa

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The Minister of Magic and The Head of Magical Law Enforcement would like to thank the Auror Headquarters, Wizengamot Administration Services, Hit Wizards, Investigation Department, Ministry of Magic Witch Watchers, Office for the Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Protective Objects, and all others that keep our world safe.

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