The Standard Magazine

NOVEMBER, 2016 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 11 THESTANDARDPS.COM

THE FOURTH ANNUAL

Holiday Gift Guide

CONTENTS VOLUME 4, ISSUE 11

theStandardPS.com twitter.com/theStandardPS facebook.com/theStandardPS instagram.com/theStandardPS

Volume 4 Issue 11

QUEER MUSIC PAGES 24

COVER THE WAIT IS OVER THE ANNUAL HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE FEATURE DECK THE HALLS / DECORATING 101 FEATURE “DON’T MARRY GRIFF” NOT YOUR EVERYDAY ROMANTIC COMEDY FEATURE NOT YOUR TYPICAL FBI AGENT MUSICIAN SUSAN SURFTONE MUSIC DJs JEREMY BLACKLOW & GEORGE FIGARES DROP THEIR BEATS ON THE WEST COAST

QBOY / QBOYMUSIC.COM

NOVEMBER 2016 3

COMMENTARY

The Standard Magazine PO Box 2074, Palm Springs, CA 92263 760.831.4869 Nino Eilets Publisher Luciano McNulty Editor Maya Kalabic Art Director Photographer David A. Lee Contributors Chris Astrala, Mike Bahr, Jaimie Booth, Mona Elyafi, John Griffith, Chris Heritage, Jill Langham, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Dr. Stephen Scoggins, Adam Sinicki & Tom Tietjen www.thestandardps.com Editorial Credits : BrandPoint, Huffington Post, LGBTQ Nation & Project Publicity The Standard Magazine is published monthly. Opinions expressed are not necessarily the opinions of the Standard or its staff, advertisers or readers with exception of editorials.

Publication of the name or photograph of any person, business

solidarity noun [sol-i-dar-i-tee]

or organization in articles or advertising in the Standard is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such person, business or organization. The Standard disclaims any responsibility for claims made by advertisers. Advertising rates are subject to change without notice. The Standard reserves the

Simple Definition of solidarity : a feeling of unity between people who have the same interests, goals, etc.

right, at its sole discretion, to reject any advertisement for any reason including, but not limited to poor taste. It is the policy of The Standard that we only publish letters to the editor that are

Source: Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary

signed by the author and verifiable by phone number. We can reserve the right of anonymity upon request. The letters need to be original, in good taste and free of libel as well as edited for clarity and grammar. Letters are subject to editing by The Standard that also reserves the right to decline print. Please

The views and opinions expressed on this page are solely those of the original authors and other contributors. These views and opinions do not necessarily represent those of The Standard Magazine staff, and/or any/all contributors to this publication.

forward your letters to: info@thestandardps.com The views expressed is not necessarily those of The Standard. Copyright 2013. All rights reserved. No portion of the publication may be reproduced in any form without the expressed consent of

You got something to say?

Email us to be considered on our commentary page at info@thestandardps.com

the publisher.

COVER THE FOURTH ANNUAL

Holiday Gift Guide Well it’s that time again and if you are starting to wonder what to get those certain special people in your life, we might be able to help. The Standard Magazine Holiday Gift Guide will perhaps give you some ideas with unique and fun items.

You will find gifts from the extravagant to the more modest.

So fear not my fellow procrastinators we are here to help. So shop away and don’t forget to get a little something to put under the tree for yourself.

VARIETY OF THE MONTH CLUB Having a hard time deciding which of our amazing gourmet Gift of the Month Clubs is going to make the perfect gift? With our Variety Club you can mix and match any of our gourmet items to create a personal gift that’s perfect every time! Got a wine and cheese lover on your list? You can send both. Want to spice it up? Try adding a hot sauce or salsa delivery. Need to satisfy a sweet tooth?

Go for chocolate, cookies or dessert. The possibilities are endless!

Just choose a shipping schedule and the month to begin delivery.

Then create your custom Variety Club by telling us exactly what to ship for each month of your gift membership www.amazingclubs.com

6 THESTANDARDPS.COM

WINE AND DINE CRUISE Celebrate a special occasion, sweep someone off their feet, take sightseeing up a notch, or simply enjoy the company of family or friends. When it comes to wining and dining in a unique way, these tasty wanders on the water certainly do it right! Step aboard some of the most luxurious dining yachts in the country for unforgettable harbor cruises featuring delicious cuisine, vibrant entertainment, dancing, and gorgeous waterfront scenery.

Lunch, brunch and dinner cruises are the perfect way to put a bit of sparkle in your day. www.cloud9living.com

AN ILLUMINATING SURPRISE Hidden inside these inconspicuouslooking white pillar candles is a cast iron sculpture that’s only revealed as the wax burns away. While it may be tempting to hold a marathon candle burning session for a more immediate reveal, the candles’ mysterious charm revolves around not being antsy: slowing down to reflect and to savor each moment as the candle burns gradually and the figure, slowly but surely, emerges from its waxy encasement. www.uncommongoods.com

VOICE ART WORK Voice Art™ Canvas prints is a unique way to create personalized artwork using voices or other sounds. Our new technology enables anyone to become an artist! We can convert any recording into a beautiful masterpiece, designed by you. Our simple and easy order process will guide you through everything. www.voiceartgallery.com

BREW YOUR OWN The Mini Monster Bookshelf Brewery is an all-grain, 1-gallon beer brewing kit.

Each kit features a clear 1-gallon glass carboy that lets you peer into the process of fermentation. You’ll watch the beer transform over 3 weeks from raw grain to delicious craft beer. www.monsterbrew.com

A LITTLE WINE WITH YOUR COFFEE For the finale of a great meal, you may be torn between the accompaniment of another glass of wine, or a comforting cup of coffee. But why not have both? These merlot-infused beans make the perfect after-dinner brew. The 100% Arabica beans are aged in oak wine barrels for a unique profile of fresh, red berry flavors and subtle hints of currants and blackberries. For the best flavor, add a small amount of sugar to this medium roast coffee.

Caffeinated, but contains no alcohol. Made by John Jenkins in Orange, Virginia. www.uncommongoods.com

NOVEMBER 2016 7

COVER HIGH TECH SHAVE World traveler + 5 o’clock shadow = tres unprofessional. Who has time to search for outlets and charging cords? Not you- you are an on-the-run, get-it-done, pack light-and-go jetsetter. With all that whirlwind activity, you still want to look suave. The ShaveTech uses USB powered state-of-the-art technology, so that you can charge it anywhere. Plug ShaveTech into any standard USB port and you can charge your electric razor with ease; free of the frustration of finding an unoccupied electrical outlet and packing any bulky adaptors. www.thegrommet.com DECADENCE ON A PLATE The ballots came in and these cheesecakes were voted as the most savory and delicious flavors of them all. Comprised of our New York, Strawberry Swirl, Turtle, Amaretto, Cherry Almond, Triple Chocolate, Cookies & Crème, and Chocolate Raspberry cheesecake flavors, this rich assortment has something for everyone. www.gourmetgiftbaskets.com

BEADS ARE THE WORLD With this collection of handcrafted bracelets, the whole earth and its history is right at hand to help you express yourself.

Each band has a unique combination of colors, charms, beads and decorative knot work, allowing you to find a symbolic meaning in each one. When you wear the twisting, autumn-toned band with its starburst pendant, for example, will you picture the sun and the earth, or intricate wonder of DNA? The bracelets can be mixed and matched, and worn individually or together to suit your look, your mood and your place in the world. www.uncommongoods.com

NO WATER PLEASE DON’T FEAR THIS SNAKE Round Whiskey Stones 6 Piece Set The finest whiskeys require the finest tools to properly respect the deep flavors hidden inside each sip. Complement your favorite whiskey with our timeless whiskey stones six piece disc set, and enjoy ice cold spirits dilution and impurity free.

Sipping whiskey neat at room temperature can be too harsh for many drinkers, but serving whiskey over ice dilutes the natural flavor and aroma of the drink. www.homewetbar.com

8 THESTANDARDPS.COM

Beautifully produced of fine crystal, this Boa Decanter looks elegant on any bar or sidebar. Its unusual shape helps it aerate wine, while doubling as a sculptural element on any bar cart or table. www.touchofmodern.com

PASS THE SALT PLEASE Bitterman Salt Co. is proud to provide salt to some of the world’s most renowned chefs, bartenders, retailers, and food manufactures. You can find their salts on the tables of at-home cooks, in celebrated restaurant kitchens, and in gourmet food products like Salt & Straw’s Sea Salt with Caramel Ribbons ice cream or in charcuterie maker Charlito’s Cocina sausages and salamis. This exclusive line is the perfect way to make your holidays taste delicious. www.bittermansalt.co

PUT A RING ON IT In 2013, Bijouxx Jewels began with the intention of bringing luxury to customers through fabulous fine jewelry pieces. From gemstone jewelry in sterling silver to on-trend men’s pieces, they have built a dream virtual jewelry boutique. www.bijouxxjewels.com

THE NEXT GENERATION IN PHONE CALLING

FRESHER LONGER With the Air Lock Bag Re-sealer, new micro-thermal technology makes resealing plastic bags a snap. Keep food fresher longer with this innovative device that creates an airtight seal to prevent food from going stale without all the clips, clamps, and rubber bands.

The locking feature means the sealing, heating element is safely hidden away, and rechargeable batteries means never having to hunt down fresh ones when you’re in a rush.

It’s a sustainable and revolutionary way to keep your food fresh and your cabinets neat. www.freshetech.com

For Everyone in Need of a New Phone An excellent gift option for any family member, Apple’s latest iPhone 7 and iPhone 7 Plus offer an appealing blend of powerful hardware, exceptional cameras, and stereo speakers, all tucked into a familiar looking, fully waterproof body. www.apple.com

FOR THE FITNESS CONSCIOUS The hot new Fitbit Charge 2 is a user-friendly fitness tracker that’s a great gift for any friend or family member.

It replaces two devices in the company’s product range — the Charge and the Charge HR. Designed like a larger Alta, the gadget features continuous heart-rate tracking, GPS, handy OLED touchscreen, and swappable wristbands. In addition to tracking health data and delivering smartphone notifications.

NOVEMBER 2016 9

COVER CAST IT FOREVER Capture a special moment in time with our stunning Casting Kits. Now you can gift the experience of our world-renowned castings from the comfort of your own home.

The creators and artists behind The Edinburgh Casting Studio design each kit. With every special package comes a full color step-by-step guidebook so you can have fun creating a beautiful casting with ease. www.edinburghcasting.com.

HOVER THROUGH LIVE LYFE is a zero gravity growing system allowing you to cultivate your favorite plants in the air. LYFE consists of a planter that hovers over an oak base via magnetic levitation.

Designed to gently rotate during suspension, LYFE nourishes life with 360 degrees of sunlight exposure, 365 days a year. With LYFE, we’ve set your plants free. www.kickstarter.com

FOR THE GAMER IN YOU The hot new PlayStation 4 Pro delivers 4K gaming (on select titles) without the need of an expensive desktop or laptop computer. A great gift for your favorite gamers with a compatible TV, Sony’s latest gaming console can also stream 4K content from Netflix, as well as upscale non-4K video content. www.amazon.com

ACTION SPORTS ENTHUSIAST The all-new HERO5 Black by GoPro is all but guaranteed to become the hottest action camera in its class, so it is a great gift for action-sports lovers in your life. It’s sleeker, more compact, easier to control, and better connected than its predecessors. www.bhphotovideo.com

NOVEMBER 2016 11

FEATURE

TREE TRIMMING 101

DAZZLING DECORATING MADE EASY

BY JOHN GRIFFITH

Shiny silver and gold, the warm glow of lights, dazzling bursts of color - O Christmas tree, your magic helps fill our homes with laughter and love during this merriest of seasons. And while gathering together to trim the tree is a beloved family tradition for many of us, let’s be honest; for others, it’s an intimidating decorating nightmare. But don’t be overwhelmed, it’s easy to go from dazed to dazzling with a few insider tips.

STEP TWO: LIGHT IT UP. Once you find the perfect tree, figure out how many lights you really need. Griffith suggests using at least 150 lights per foot of tree to decorate just the tips. For more depth, use at least 250 lights per foot.

And consider LED lights. Griffith notes that while upgrading to LEDs may be expensive initially, they’re a good investment in that these lights burn much cooler, last longer and are more energy efficient.

STEP ONE: FIND THE TREE THAT FITS YOUR LIFESTYLE. STEP THREE: THINK IN THIRDS. Designer John Griffith decorates dozens of trees and leads holiday design seminars for dinnerware giant, Replacements, Ltd. Griffith recognizes since we all live in different spaces, the picture perfect 7-foot tree won’t work for everyone.

“People like myself who live in apartments, condos or smaller living areas often feel stuck having to get a tiny tree because of limited space, when there are so many more options,” Griffith says.

“Flat trees, which are very low profile and sit close to the wall, are perfect for tight spaces. Half round trees are another great option because they’re basically half a tree, while corner trees reflect their name because they’re shaped to fit into corners. These types of artificial trees create the impact of having a larger tree that in reality doesn’t take up all that much room.”

12 THESTANDARDPS.COM

One of my best practices: decorate in thirds. “This is one of the easiest ways to make sure your tree is balanced from a decorating standpoint. “Start by looking at your tree as what it is, a huge cone, then section it off in thirds around the tree. For example, if you have 1,500 lights, use 500 for one section, 500 for the middle and 500 for the last section. Do the same thing with your ornaments by dividing them into three groups before you start arranging those on the tree.”

STYLIZE WITH ORNAMENTS. While lights create seasonal glow, ornaments dazzle and delight, bringing out the child in all of us. Our choice of ornaments reflects more

than individual style and taste - they’re distinctively sentimental.

“Annual ornaments are always popular from a nostalgic standpoint because of the special memories connected to each one,” says collectibles specialist Kristen Pulley. “For instance, those made by Lenox China are very dear to me because of my two daughters. I started a collection for each of them when they were born - I began the teddy bear series for one and the gingerbread man for the other. As they got older and started decorating the tree, they liked them so much that now I have to get two of each series every year. It’s become part of our family tradition.”

Among Replacements’ most sought after holiday annuals, the Wallace Sleigh Bell and Gorham Snowflake collections remain family favorites, having been in production going on 50 years. “Blown glass ornaments have really kept their popularity,” adds Pulley. “Production costs have gotten less expensive without compromising the quality making these more affordable to collect.

For instance, Merck Family’s Old World Christmas ornaments are huge sellers, because you can find everything from traditional ornaments to

fun, off the wall ones such as a piece of sushi or even Chinese takeout boxes.”

WHAT’S HOT FOR 2016?

One of this year’s big decorating trends centers on monochromatic, such as using the same color lights (regardless of the hue) with ornaments in either all silver or all gold, but not both. “One of my favorite techniques is adding bullion to a tree,”. “Bullion is a very thin wire you add on the outside tips in geometric shapes that gives the tree a different kind of texture, movement and depth. It really adds richness to the tree, and the way the light reflects off this wire looks very luxe.”

Finally, no tree is complete without an over-the-top tree topper.

Really nice bows made from high quality ribbon look lovely, while I favor using feathers, branches, floral stems and other natural elements to put an exclamation point on the top of the tree. With these great tips, it should be easy to find your own flair to kick-off what’s sure to be a memorable holiday entertaining season.

GET YOUR BUSINESS NOTICE We create 15 or 30 second dynamic videos with your existing visuals. For Facebook, Twitter or any platform you work with.

Videos automatically play as people scroll through the feed.

Very affordable.

MOTION & VISUALS 760-980-1050 | scott@motionandvisuals.com NOVEMBER 2016 13

FEATURE

IN LOVING COLOR

A ROMANTIC COMEDY ABOUT LOVE SHARED BETWEEN AFRICAN AMERICAN GAY MEN

BY MIKE BAHR

Don’t Marry Griff tells the story of Lyodell, his fiancé Griffith, and best friend Sutton.

The friendship between Lyodell and Sutton is shaken to its core when Sutton confesses his love for Lyodell. Things get even more complicated when Lyodell begins to open his eyes to the true state of his union with Griffith.

Directed by Steven L. Coard, who also stars as Lyodell, Don’t Marry Griff is the first of a series of films that will tackle love stories featuring gay African American characters. “I have always dreamed of the day when I could produce my own independent film for the gay community of color,” Coard explains. “It’s important for African American gay men to have characters they can identify with while being entertained.”

16 THESTANDARDPS.COM

After all, gay black men are striving to achieve the American Dream just like everyone else, Coard says. They want the white picket fence and adoring husband. It’s certainly what Coard wants.

“Although I am not looking for the children part,” he adds with a smile. He explains more.

What inspired “Don’t Marry Griff”?

Steven L. Coard: One day, I began to wonder to myself: could a gay African American couple survive domestic violence? I wanted to explore the idea and see if I could tell a story that was filled with drama and suspense while also adding my signature style of comedy.

What is the state of urban gay relationships?

Steven L. Coard: Most men in the urban communities have so

many levels of dysfunction that it makes it impossible to get to know the real person. It comes from being ostracized by all levels of society. From family and friends calling gay people despicable names and telling us we live a filthy homosexual lifestyle. Or rappers and sports figures we idolize spewing hate against our community. It forces many of us to live our lives in hiding.

Is that why films like “Don’t Marry Griff” are so important?

Steven L. Coard: As a young man growing up, I didn’t see many representations of myself on television or in movies. And when I did, it was often in a way that demoralized people who looked and felt like me. I vividly remember watching the Men on Film skit on “In Living Color”. The black gay man was the butt of the joke, made to be an over effeminate representation of the urban gay community. It hurt. I think that’s when I decided I would create films that depicted gay men of color living successful lives, searching - just like everyone else - for the true meaning of happiness. My dream is to create a gay hallmark channel and bring unique and original love stories to men of all colors.

Without giving too much away, the relationship between Lyodell and Griffith is alarmingly unhealthy. What has been your experience with toxic relationships?

Steven L. Coard: All of my past relationships have been toxic.

There was a time in my life when I was only attracted to men who were no good for me. I can reflect on it now and realize that I found a sense of comfort with the abuse because, growing up, verbal aggression was all I knew from my parents.

Did you base the character of Lyodell on yourself?

Steven L. Coard: No, Lyodell is actually based on my grandmother. She often told me stories of how my grandfather was very abusive to her in the fifties.

Is that why you chose to play him?

Steven L. Coard: I originally had another actor in mind for Lyodell but two weeks before filming, he dropped out. I didn’t trust anyone else would be able to bring the emotions to screen in such a short amount of time so I took the part on myself.

Who is Griffith based on?

Steven L. Coard: Oddly, Griffith is based on me. I was in a relationship several years ago where I lost control in an argument and lunged at my ex. Luckily, I caught myself before it turned

badly. After that, I decided I would never be in another argument with another individual again.

Sutton is one fine man. But is it ever a good idea to mix love and friendship?

Steven L. Coard: I think it’s a great idea! Having someone who you have so much in common with makes it easier to find success together in a relationship. I hope to one day be with my best friend.

I’d rather a quality man than some guy who is going to being me temporary happiness with his great ass or smile.

Have you dated a friend?

Steven L. Coard: No. I have told a friend that I was in love with him but he rejected me. Our friendship eventually ended but not because of my confession. A few months later, he began to reveal his true character. I dodged a bullet.

What do you hope audiences take away from “Don’t Marry Griff”?

Steven L. Coard: I want people to leave believing in true love. I want people who have a best friend they are in love with to take the risk and see if that person feels the same way. What’s the worst that can happen? I want to unite the urban gay community, and I want to help stimulate a passion for gay black cinema and help to create future storytellers.

Don’t Marry Griff releases November 18. For more information, visit www.colorofloveproduction.com.

NOVEMBER 2016 17

BOOK REVIEW

ALWAYS OVERBOOKED…

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

People will talk.

And that can be a bad thing: gossip is often mean, and its shelf life is sometimes longer than we’d like. On the other hand, a bit of scandalous chatter can be great: as in the new book “Marilyn Forever” by Boze Hadleigh, if people are talking about you, they’ll remember you.

Through the years, plenty of people have had plenty to say about Marilyn Monroe, both during her career and after her death.

Much of the snark was just that: Anne Baxter said she “got fed up” with studio bosses fussing over Monroe and ignoring “those of us who could actually act!” Elizabeth Taylor had nothing good to say about Monroe, and was reportedly scandalized by rumors of Monroe’s affair with another woman.

And yet, some saw deep into Monroe’s soul, and they loved her for it.

Shirley MacLaine remembers Monroe as being an intelligent woman, despite the personae Monroe cultivated; Jerry Orbach remembers Monroe’s “heart,” and shares a story of what she did for soldiers in Korea. Likewise, Shari Lewis tells of Monroe’s brave stand, in pre-Civil Rights America, on behalf of Ella Fitzgerald.

Michael Jackson said that just thinking about Monroe “makes you want to cry.”

Just before Monroe died, she was said to be excited about being a new homeowner. She was in perhaps the best shape she’d been in for years, and was ready for a resurgence of her career.

Her death made no sense: did she make a mistake with champagne and drugs? Or was it something more sinister? No one knows, but at least one Hollywood star muses about roles Monroe might have had in her later years, had she still been alive.

Will we ever forget her? Will we ever stop talking about Marilyn Monroe?

No, says Hugh Hefner, and “… fortunately there’s certainly a lot left to dream about her.”

Everyone knows that names hurt just as much as sticks and stones, despite what you once claimed on the playground. But how affected was Marilyn Monroe by the things others said about her?

18 THESTANDARDPS.COM

In “Marilyn Forever,” you’ll see.

Through this collection of quotes and thoughts on Monroe, author Boze Hadleigh offers a portrait of the star through the eyes of people who knew her and worked with her. As readers might expect, there’s quite a good bit of nastiness here; the claws come out and “meow” fairly drips from those sentences. Monroe, it’s said, was naturally quite hurt by such comments.

But Hadleigh doesn’t let those things drive this book.

There’s love here, and it’s striking: stories of a make-up artist who, years later, couldn’t bear to discuss his friendship with Monroe.

Tears are admitted by “He-Man” types, and more than one star spoke with sympathy about a woman they greatly admired.

That gives this book a good balance and further insight to an actress who’s been gone for (can you believe it?) more than five decades. If you’re a fan, time flies and “Marilyn Forever” is a book you won’t stop talking about.

“Marilyn Forever” by Boze Hadleigh c.2016, Taylor Trade $14.95 / $18.95 Canada 154 pages

NOVEMBER 2016 19

On WORLD AIDS DAY 2016 we salute the Coachella Valley’s

for their dedication in helping to end the HIV/AIDS epidemic

DECEMBER 1, 2016 Camelot Theatres

5:30 pm – Champagne Reception 6:30 pm – Awards Show & Entertainment featuring Jason Graae 8-10 pm – Cocktail & Hors d’oeuvres Reception $40 (general seating), $75 (preferred seating) & $150 (VIP) Broadway Performer

Jason Graae

PHOTOS: John Paschal / Snap Shot Studio

Event Co-Chairs – Terri Ketover, Ann Sheffer & Tom Truhe

Larry Edwards

joann morford

Linda Stevens

mike thompson

aka Pinkie Meringue Shimmer D.A.P. Volunteer and Fundraiser

Volunteer Desert AIDS Project

Community Relations Manager Desert Regional Medical Center

CEO LGBT Community Center

Tickets and more information desertAIDSproject.org or 760.992.0440 PRESENTED BY

SPONSORS

award SPONSORS media SPONSORS

FEATURE

NOT YOUR TYPICAL FBI AGENT

BY MONA ELYAFI

The out musician, interestingly enough, spent her lifetime working with the good old boys! She went from a career working in a government agency that is reputed to be very macho, to another profession known to be heavily male-dominated, namely “surf” music as a guitarist.

There’s probably not a woman in IT that couldn’t write a book about what it’s like to work in a male-dominated environment. And there’s probably not a single one who wouldn’t be inspired by the story of Susan Surftone.

While the gender ratio wasn’t in her favor, she thrived in both fields. But Surftone is no stranger to breaking grounds. The New York native had early on already defied convention by learning how to write and perform electric guitar music instead of contenting herself with listening and dancing along (like most other girls) to the day’s big boy bands.

What can you anticipate at her concert? Sort of a retrospective of her musical career starting pre-SurfTones with an original vocal song pulled from the 1980’s NYC days up to the present....Susan SurfTone’s 30-year career in seventeen songs.

The set is half instrumental and half vocal. Mia Moravis is joining the band as backing vocalist and The Trevor Sewell Band is on board (award-winning British Blues band) too. She will be doing studio recordings of three of the new vocal songs from the tour set. Yes there was a time when Susan Yasinksi was more focused on keeping an eye on KGB agents in New York than on hunting down gigs.

After law school SurfTone needed a job and the Federal Bureau of Investigation was hiring. She nailed the bureau’s entrance exam, and worked bank robberies in Boston before transferring to New York City to monitor those pesky Soviet KGB agents.

Privately Susan was playing the guitar. “The FBI did not approve,” SurfTone says, “so eventually we parted ways.” She has since dedicated herself to music full time.

Now Susan Surftone is back with her first digital dose of riptideready rock and roll for 2016 - the brand new EP dubbed “The Magician”.

The Magician is a little bit of departure from her old style as

it sees Surftone - after recording four instrumental albums- stepping out of her instrumental-rock comfort zone to step in front of the mic and make her debut vocal performance on 3/3 of the songs including the track “Little Bit Lied To”, which she personally penned.

Through the years she has always been a strong advocate of encouraging girls to play guitar and start bands, and while she may be a rarity in the genre of surf rock, she certainly now has a prolific discography recorded with her previous bands not to mention her solo albums.

Surftone is now working on doing East Coast gigs in March/ April of 2017 and looking into a series of gigs in LA focusing on getting a live recording (some vocals, some instrumentals) - the working title is “Making Waves Again”.

NOVEMBER 2016 21

MUSIC I

JEREMY BLACKLOW AND GEORGE FIGARES ARE EASY TO LOVE

BY TOM TIETJEN

California’s own DJ Jeremy Blacklow called New York City home at the turn of the millennium. It was a very transitional time: the end of the Giuliani mayoralty, the beginning of the George W. Bush administration. It was five years after the debut of the cocktail drugs that would ignite a new devastating wave of HIV and AIDS throughout the gay community. And, of course, there was 9/11.

Through the tumult, it was a glorious time for nightlife in the city.

New Yorkers celebrated life in a meaningful and powerful way when they went out to dance. They felt united, creative, and defiant.

One particular song resonated with crowds. It was Jonathan Peters’ “To Be Able to Love”, sung by Jessica Folker. It made its debut on the dance floors of Junior Vasquez’s Twilo and Peter Rauhofer’s Roxy, and when DJs David Knapp and Manny Lehman began playing the song at circuit events across the country, it became an anthem for the gay community.

Fifteen years later, DJs Jeremy Blacklow and George Figares are bringing the song back with a fresh interpretation by Swishcraft Music that is guaranteed to resonate with today’s club crowd. We caught up with Jeremy at Palm Springs Pride.

What is it that makes you and George Figares such a match in musical heaven?

George tends to produce and DJ with more of an after-hours minimalist approach and I tend to focus a lot more on big diva vocals.

When he and I meet in the middle, the results are really fantastic.

What inspired you guys to remake the circuit classic, “To Be Able To Love”?

It’s one of our all-time favorite anthems. I started bringing it back into my sets regularly about two years ago. It gets a huge reaction every time I play it.

22 THESTANDARDPS.COM

Why do you think that is?

The song is about embarking on a new romance, but not emotionally strong enough yet because of the lingering damage from your last relationship. Most of us, myself definitely included, have been there and can identify with it.

Did you consider using original singer, Jessica Folker, for the remake?

We did talk early on about reaching out to Jessica, but we wanted to work with someone who could bring his or her own take to the track. It took us a long time to find Brenda Reed, but ultimately she was able to nail the heartache that’s needed to drive these vocals.

Brenda’s got a voice reminiscent of Kristine W, Erin Hamilton or Heather Small. And that’s a pretty magical thing to stumble upon!

What inspired you to become a DJ? I fell in love with house music when I first moved in NYC. There

was a period of five years when I’d be out almost every night to listen to Junior Vasquez, Victor Calderone, Peter Rauhofer, Danny Tenaglia and Danny Krivit. It was a magical time in New York. NYC is always changing and re-inventing itself. It’s in the city’s DNA. I don’t think it makes sense to try to compare the NYC of today to that of twenty years ago, because it’s apples-to-oranges.

How would you describe the current state of the dance floor?

It’s a transitional time for electronic music, but I think we’re still in a golden age.

It’s funny when I’m at a big festival like Coachella and I see thousands of people going crazy when the headliner drops Robin S or Crystal Waters, because it’s the music that our gay community first popularized twenty years ago.

Jeremy Blacklow and George Figares’ “To Be Able to Love” featuring Brenda Reed is available on iTunes through Swishcraft Music.

Visit www.swishcraftmusic.com.

GEORGE & JEREMY PHOTOS BY SEAN JAMES MURPHY

NOVEMBER 2016 23

MUSIC II

KING OF QUEENS QBOY RECLAIMS HIS THRONE

BY JAMIE BOOTH QBoy was one of the OG queer rappers who helped to lead, create and shape the sub-genre of hip hop known as homo hop in it’s infancy.

When he first premiered in the late nineties, everyone reacted to QBoy as an oxymoron. International news outlets from The Guardian, to VICE, Dazed & Confused and i:D all wondered the same thing: How can there be a gay rapper? QBoy showed them how with two hit videos: “Q.B.O.Y. (Is Just So Fly)” and the top ten MTV smash, “Coming Out 2 Play”.

But then he disappeared… until now.

We spoke with QBoy from his London home.

What do you think of the term homo hop?

QBoy: The term really started in the nineties, against the backdrop of homophobic gangster rap. At the time, we needed to show that hip-hop had a queer face too. That there were actually some queers who loved and were creating hip-hop. There was a time when gays were very anti-hip hop and hip-hop was anti-gay and homo hop bridged that.

Does the queer hip hop community support one another?

QBoy: The early generation did. Those early days were exciting. We were all together doing something new and trail blazing and we were doing it because we loved it. We never really thought it would take off. Gay people didn’t understand why we loved hip-hop and hip-hop hated us. So we were unified.

Is it the same today?

QBoy: Queer artists coming out today have so much more competition. I’m not sure they share that same camaraderie that we experienced when I first started.

Are you friendly with the gay rapper, Cazwell?

QBoy: I’ve known Cazwell for fifteen years. Before Cazwell was a solo artist, he was in a dope band called Morplay with another rapper, Crasta Yo. I remember reviewing their single ‘Watch My Mouth’ for gayhiphop.com and being truly inspired. Cazwell has my respect for what he has achieved.

24 THESTANDARDPS.COM

What advice would you give him?

QBoy: I wouldn’t dream of giving Cazwell advice. We met up in LA recently and he was looking to make some new music so I suggested a few ideas but advice - what do I know? I am just trying my best like everyone else. He knows what he is doing. He’s a smart, hard working cookie.

What do queer rappers need to do to get on mainstream radio?

QBoy: Mainstream means you are creating a product that everyone wants to buy, and usually that makes it quite beige. Most queer artists are honest in their music and by doing so, they’re making art that is often striking and unique and not beige, boring or conformist at all.

Which of your songs on QING has the most mainstream potential?

QBoy: (Laughing) You’re very obsessed with mainstream! In today’s Internet world, we no longer need to be mainstream to succeed or reach our audience. But if you want to know the songs that are least gay in the lyric content and subject matter, they would be “Music Makes Us Dance” and “Set It Up”. “Set it Up” is about relationships I have had with men but lyrically it’s not sexuality specific.

Is there one track that’s just for the boys?

QBoy: Both “Show Me Your Deck” and “DragOn” has more queer themed content. “DragOn” is a weed smoker’s anthem where I literally talk about stoned sex with hot boys. One of favorite things – not discounting donuts. “Show Me Your Deck” is very much focused on my own experiences on gay hook-up apps.

Which track on the EP tells us the most about QBoy? QBoy: Everything I do must come from a seed of truth or I just cannot connect with it, so really, all of the songs are true portrayals of my personality. After watching all five videos you might think that I am a Game of Thrones and tracksuit loving, cock-obsessed, socially concerned, cheeky, humorous, spiritual stoner who has experienced some pretty shitty break-ups. And I’d say that is not far off the mark.

For more information on QBoy and his new EP, QING, visit QBOYMUSIC.COM.

NOVEMBER 2016 25

26 THESTANDARDPS.COM

PSP FOCUS COYOTE STAGEWORKS BEGINS 2016-2017 SEASON WITH STAGED READING OF THE BELOVED PLAY “STEEL MAGNOLIAS” Coyote StageWorks, the Coachella Valley-based award-winning Actors’ Equity professional theater company, will begin its 2016-2017 “Legendary Ladies” season on November 26, 2016 at 6:30 p.m. with a staged reading benefit gala performance of the beloved production “Steel Magnolias,” by playwright Robert Harling. It will feature performances by well-known actresses Florence Henderson, Sally Struthers, Carole Cooke, Mo Gaffney, Yo Younger and Elaine Hayhurst and will be held at the Annenberg Theater at the Palm Springs Art Museum. Tickets for the benefit gala are $75 and $125 per person (for performance only) and $250 per person, which includes a VIP cast reception in the museum following the performance. Tickets are available at annenbergtheater.org or by calling (760) 325-4490.

“Steel Magnolias” is a comedy/drama that features an allfemale cast and poignantly portrays the bond a group of Southern women in northwest Louisiana share and how they cope with the death of one of their own. It ran on Off-Broadway from 1987 through 1990 and featured an impressive 1,126 performances. It was then made into a blockbuster film in 1989 that earned $83.7 million at the box office and starred Daryl Hannah, Dolly Parton, Sally Field, Julia Roberts, and Olympia Dukakis. “Steel Magnolias” also opened on Broadway in 2005.

Florence Henderson will play the role of M’Lynn Eatenton, a social worker and mother of Shelby, who suffers from type one diabetes.

Henderson is best known for her role of Carol Brady on the popular TV series “The Brady Bunch,” which ran from 1969 – 1974. Sally Struthers will play the role of Truvy, a beautician and the town gossip. Struthers is best known for her role of Gloria Stivic on the “All in the Family” television series, which ran from 1971-1979. Veteran actress Carole Cook takes on the role of Louisa “Ouiser” Boudreaux, the Eatenton’s next-door neighbor and town curmudgeon. Cook has appeared in musical theatre, film, and television, and is best known for her roles in the original Broadway productions of “42nd Street,” “Romantic Comedy,” and was the second actress (after Carol Channing) to star as Dolly Levi in “Hello, Dolly!”

Mo Gaffney will play Clairee, the former town first lady.

Gaffney has appeared in a wide array of television, film, and theater productions, including the “Kathy and Mo Show: Parallel

Lives.” She recently appeared in the Coyote StageWorks production of “Love, Loss, and What I Wore.” Yo Younger will play Shelby, M’Lynn’s daughter who suffers from Type 1 diabetes. Yo has starred in many productions for California Regional Theater and other Coachella Valley theater companies and has appeared in a variety of films and television series. Elaine Hayhurst will play the part of Annelle, a newcomer to town and apprentice beautician hired by Truvy. Hayhurst is an actress and writer known for “Gay Son and the Overly Supportive Mom,” “World Miracle Story,” and “She’s an Actress.” She previously wowed audiences in the Coyote StageWorks production of “Boeing-Boeing” and “Love, Loss & What I Wore.”

Voted “Best Live Theater” by the readers of Desert Magazine in 2013 and 2014, Coyote StageWorks has won 65 Desert Star Awards from the Desert Theatre League, a theater support group that promotes theater in the Coachella Valley and Morongo Basin. The company received 3 awards for its performances of Art and Agnes of God in the previous season. The Desert Theater League also recently bestowed the coveted ‘Michael Grossman Most Inspirational Award’ to Chuck Yates, Coyote StageWorks Founding Artistic Director in recognition of his dedication to the craft of theater production.

Tickets for Coyote StageWorks’ fully staged productions are $45 – $55 for matinees and $50 – $60 for evening performances.

A Q&A session with cast members will follow Thursday matinees. To purchase individual tickets or subscriptions, call 760-325-4490 or visit www.annenbergtheater.org For group sales, call 760-318-0024.

NOVEMBER 2016 27

28 THESTANDARDPS.COM

PSP FOCUS PALM SPRINGS COMIC CON

BRINGS FANDOM TO PALM SPRINGS THIS NOVEMBER Palm Springs Comic Con, a Coachella Valley non-profit dedicated to celebrating geek culture, hosts its inaugural twoday convention this November at Hard Rock Hotel Palm Springs. Comic fans, artists, and industry professionals will come together for two days of panels, meet and greets, and fandom as Palm Springs Comic Con debuts in Palm Springs on November 19-20, 2016.

Featured guests include Coachella Valley native and “Fear the Walking Dead” actor Lincoln Castellanos; animation house Titmouse Studios, which has produced Adult Swim favorites like Metalocalypse and The Venture Bros.; and voice actors including Katie Leigh, Tom Adcox and Bill Farmer.

“Our aim is to bring fans together through genuine interaction with each other because everyone involved with our con are fans as well,” says Alex Callego, President of Palm Springs Comic Con. “The most important goal for our convention is that our fans go home feeling that the experience that we gave them was an enriching one and that the people that they’ve met gave them a sense of belonging.”

Palm Springs Comic Con at the Hard Rock Hotel Palm Springs will also feature cosplay contests, gaming, a vendor area, and a full schedule of panels with special guests to be announced. Escape Room Palm Springs will also host a mini-escape room and scavenger hunt experience. The celebration will continue into the night on Saturday at an official after-party to be held at BART in Cathedral City. A full schedule will be released before the event. As the original comic book convention organization in the Coachella Valley, Palm Springs Comic Con has a long history of bringing together fans and artists to celebrate comic book art, literature, and pop culture in the Coachella Valley. Since 2014, Palm Springs Comic Con has supported Free Comic Book Day at local comic book stores, as well as events like ReaderCON that promote literacy through comic books.

For more information, visit pscomiccon.com. Tickets can be purchased through EventBrite: www.eventbrite.com/e/palm-springscomic-con-2016-registration-24586701486

NOVEMBER 2016 29

30 THESTANDARDPS.COM

PSP FOCUS THE BROADWAY QUILT RAFFLE & FUNDRAISER BENEFITING DESERT AIDS PROJECT

Snippets of Broadway – literal snips of fabric from costumes, worn in famous productions on The Great White Way – have been sent to the Desert AIDS Project campus where they are being transformed

by D.A.P.’s Quilting with Pinkie group, which meets every Monday at D.A.P, into a beautiful one-of-a-kind quilt of many colors.

The Broadway Quilt will come with its own provenance containing Playbills and a diagram matching each material swatch in the quilt to the production from which it was taken. From Wicked to Hamilton, Kinky Boots to Fiddler on the Roof, The Broadway Quilt will be auctioned or raffled during Everyday Heroes on December 1st, commemorating World AIDS Day and benefitting D.A.P. Don’t miss this once in a lifetime opportunity to own a real piece of Broadway while supporting the lifesaving client services provided each day to Desert AIDS Project’s 3,600 clients! Please fill out the form below the video and we’ll contact you to confirm your desired number of raffle tickets. Thank you for interest in the Broadway Quilt project and your continued support of Desert AIDS Project. For more info visit www.desertaidsproject.org

NOVEMBER 2016 31

LEGALLY SPEAKING

HOLIDAY GIFTS THAT KEEP ON GIVING

BY CHRISTOPHER HERITAGE

We wrap holiday gifts in gleaming foil – contributions to our loved ones to celebrate the season. What did you choose for your partner or spouse? That slick little metal sculpture you found at the street fair? A gorgeous pinkie ring you discovered together in that West Hollywood back-alley jeweler’s? A cruise to the Bahamas to get out of Palm Springs’ or LA’s cruel winters?

Let me suggest some more permanent and life changing gifts.

These may not be as pretty as flashy, gift-wrapped boxes with fancy bows on top, but they will be with you and your loved ones in a much more dramatic way. You can share a gift with someone and both of you will be thrilled.

- Do you have a committed partner? Consider the gift of marriage! Huh, you say? What? Get out of here! But think about it.

After decades of the LGBT struggle for equality, marriage is finally an option for us. Why not take advantage of the benefits it can offer? Think about your relationship. Is it a strong and fundamental part of your life? Marriage could be the gift that will give you both a solid future. You will want to think about it carefully, because your financial situation can determine whether it makes good economic sense for you. But if it does, you may save money on taxes and make many other aspects of your life more predictable and manageable.

Think about the benefits you and your spouse could receive from each other’s social security accounts, pension plans, and property of various kinds. And think of the future you will have together.

Committed. Legally solid. A way for you both to live free of worry about your status if something happens to one of you. That could be the gift of a lifetime.

resources to support you, what would you wish for? A friend to stand behind you? A plan that makes life livable? A path to a normal life?

You can help provide these things to the homeless, the AIDSafflicted, the abused children, the disabled in birth or accident or war, the lonely senior citizen. Volunteer or make a donation in the name of someone to whom you would have given an ordinary gift, and to the cause that means the most to that person. Let everyone know that you are putting your money and your action where your mouth is. Make a difference in your community and in someone’s life.

Better than that thingamabob from the street fair, or even a cruise to the islands? Oh yes, it is!

It’s not too late! Plan to marry in this merry season with a fun little wedding ceremony before the end of the year. Any tax advantages will cover the whole year, and you and your new spouse will benefit every year from now on. Trade that pinkie ring for wedding bands!

- You can make an investment in the well-being of your family and friends by creating a Will or a Trust that will make their lives easier if something should happen to you. Whether you are young or old, you can never predict the future, and being prepared is one of the most substantial gifts you can give to those who love you.

I’m not talking about how much money you leave to your heirs and beneficiaries, or how it is divided up. My concern is that, if something happens to you, someone has to pick up the pieces. If you don’t have a Will or a Trust, it is a complicated and daunting task.

- In this holiday season, you have a gift allowance in your budget. You can choose how you spend your money. Make it work for those who may have no allowance. If you were alone, with few or no

Your gift can be an estate plan that is carefully thought out, and makes it possible for those who care for you to protect you and your assets if something happens. Every one of us has an “estate”.

32 THESTANDARDPS.COM

It can be anything from a car and a few hundred bucks in the bank, to a modest home and a small investment account, to a millionaire’s mansion and vast financial holdings. No matter how big or small, every estate must be managed if its owner is incapacitated or dies.

You can choose who will do it and how easily it is done.

In addition to creating a Will or a Trust, please attend to these and other details: Include a plan for your pets. Do not assume they will be cared for by family members or friends. Write instructions into your Will or Trust, and provide funds for their care, if you can Confirm that your retirement plans (IRA, 401k, etc.) and life insurance policies have named beneficiaries Prepare a list of names and passwords to access your financial, computer, social network and other accounts. Keep it in a safe deposit box, or together with your Will or Trust

Add your named Executor or Successor Trustee as joint owner of your safe deposit box, so the bank will allow access if something happens to you Review your Will or Trust often, to make sure no updates are needed Your decision to prepare your estate for the future is a gift that your family and friends will be grateful for in all the coming years.

This article is part of an ongoing series of articles pertaining to legal issues relevant to the LGBT community, and is intended for general information purposes only – not legal advice. Christopher Heritage is an attorney in Palm Springs and San Diego, who focuses on LGBT estate planning, domestic partnerships, same-sex marriage, probate, trust administration, and bankruptcy. He welcomes questions and comments and can be contacted at 760-325-2020 or at chris@heritagelegal.com

NOVEMBER 2016 33

FITNESS

DANCING YOUR WAY TO HEALTH

BY JILL LANGHAM Hello again, I am a strong believer in the balance of the Body, Mind and Spirit so I go to the gym to honor my body and I head to the dance floor to balance my spirit. I’ve been labeled the “Dancing Queen of Palm Springs”, and it is on the dance floor where I have met ALL of my very best friends. About 2 months ago, after returning from a trip to Ibiza, Spain, an island known for its music and dance vibe, I found myself frustrated with the lack of that vibe here in Palm Springs. In 2004 during my first White Party, I had an epiphany which led me to move to Palm Springs, but it was actually a few days earlier in the parking lot of Toucan’s Tiki Bar that my spirit came back to life. As I got out of my car I found myself literally without missing a beat! In that moment, the “Dancing Queen” inside of me was re-released after a very long hiatus; so long in fact, that I thought she was dead. But, thankfully, she was not and that night I became a well-known part of the Gay Dance Vibe of Palm Springs. And boy did I feel alive!

But, around 2013 that vibe started to fall apart, in my opinion.

My 2-3 times a week of 5-6 hour dance marathons were quickly disappearing along with my spiritual and cardio benefits (300-600 calories/hour!) and it hit me really hard. After dancing all night for 10 nights in Ibiza and feeling on top of the world, I realized I no longer felt that way in Palm Springs and feared that we had lost our “Gay Dance Vibe.” I went to my Facebook page to ask my fellow dance friends if they too felt the same way and was both shocked and elated that within minutes, I received 100’s of like-minded comments and “likes.” It was only in that moment that I decided that I needed to create a Dance Party to give the people what they want! I titled it “Let’s Re-Unite to Re-Ignite!”

Two weeks later we held the first of hopefully many of these parties, this one at Marquee Academy of Performing Arts, a music school for children. It was a benefit to raise money to buy chairs for the children’s performances. I kept it Old School and focused on one thing and one thing only, Dance. With the music of 4 great Palm Springs DJ’s, some lighting, drinks and by inviting as many of

34 THESTANDARDPS.COM

the people that I met on the Dance floor over the last 11 years, we managed to pull off what has been being referred to as a great success!

We raised $5000 and the word of the night was “FUN!” So, how does all of this relate to health and fitness? Well, for me, it’s a way to do my cardio in a really fun setting while getting my spiritual health back on track. Both of these resonate and vibrate with our first Chakra, called the Root Chakra. You may or may not be familiar with the Chakra system and rather than get into a long, complicated explanation, suffice it to say that this Chakra connects us with vitality to our family of origin; like our community. The dance floor is a perfect place for the Root Chakra to get stimulated. Dancing is great for our hearts as well as making us feel like we belong with one another, that we are relating and are related. I’m a firm believer that it is trapped emotions that cause illness so when I’m dancing I can release these emotions and essentially become healthier. I can only use myself as the example and am here to testify that the more I dance, the better I feel, the more energy I have, the happier I am, the more productive and creative I am and the more physically healthy I have become!

I’m planning my second party for the November 25, 2016, the Friday after Thanksgiving again at Marquee. There we can give thanks for the opportunity to Dance as well as melt away all the extra calories that we will have eaten! I hope to see you all there!

Have a fabulous Thanksgiving and know that I am thankful for you all!

XOXO OOPS! Last month we were remise in giving props to the awesome photographer Dimitri Halkidis who took the photos featured in my first article.

Thank you Dimitri for the fantastic photos. To reach him visit his website www.dimitrihalkidis.com

NOVEMBER 2016 35

WELLNESS

STRESS-BUSTING AND BETTER MENTAL HEALTH

BY ADAM SINICKI

Mindfulness meditation is a type of meditation that involves simply being more aware of your own mind and your own thoughts.

This type of meditation has been practiced for centuries under a variety of different names – in Christianity for instance it is sometimes called ‘watchfulness’ as described by the Philokalia and many other religious practices also encourage similar concepts. Today it is most commonly recommended as a part of CBT, or ‘Cognitive Behavioral Therapy’. Here it is used to help the individual know their own mind better but also to increase their presence and to detach themselves from stressful thoughts. Here we will look at what mindfulness is, how you can practice it and what the benefits are.

HOW TO PRACTICE MINDFULNESS As described in CBT – a popular psychotherapeutic approach used to treat mental health disorders such as phobias – mindfulness involves ‘watching’ the thoughts and then assessing how they might be affecting your mental health.

The idea here is that often our thoughts can lead to negative consequences for our health. An example of this might be a fear of public speaking. Here, someone who suffers from the condition might

36 THESTANDARDPS.COM

find themselves ruminating on everything that could go wrong as they approached the podium on which to speak. They might think thoughts such as: • ‘What if I stutter?’

• ‘What if I don’t know what to say and people laugh at me?’

• ‘What if my flies are undone?’

The idea then is to try and get rid of these thoughts, in order to be better able to focus on the moment without fear. CBT subsequently teaches tools that you can use in order to change those negative thoughts once identified, which often involves intellectualizing the ideas.

But true mindfulness can be used on its own to overcome your anxieties by simply detaching yourself from those thoughts and being more present and in the moment. Instead of letting your thoughts dictate to you how to feel and behave, you simply watch them pass by while staying grounded and present in the moment. By breathing and focusing on your body and your surroundings and by reminding yourself that they are just thoughts you can let go of your fears and worries and just enjoy simply ‘being’. This in turn will result in a calmer state of mind.

THE POWER OF MINDFULNESS This ability to disengage from the noisy chatter of our brain is something that has incredible value not only for treating health problems but also for generally helping us to be happier, healthier people.

These days, most of us have a lot of different things that we are worried about and stressed about at any given moment. You might be worried about your finances for instance, you might be worried about your job and you might be thinking about something you read in the paper.

Not only does this affect our mood – even when we are in a relaxed setting – but it also prevents us from fully appreciating the world around us. If you go for a walk for instance and your mind is on works, you won’t get to see the sights and you won’t enjoy the peace and quiet. Using mindfulness then, you can let go of those worries and you can instead just enjoy being in the great outdoors and you can recover from the day.

Mindfulness teaches us how to know ourselves better and how to stop letting our thoughts dictate us.

USING THE BODY SCAN METHOD Learning mindfulness is not easy but one strategy you can use is something called the ‘body scan’. This is a sequence that anyone can try and that serves as a great introduction to mindfulness.

As the name suggests, it starts by performing an imaginary ‘scan’ of your body and then widening and narrowing your attention.

To being, lie on a floor or mat but try to go somewhere where you won’t be in danger of falling asleep. Now focus on the top of your head and then move your attention gradually down the body.

While you do this, feel each of your muscles relax and let go of any tension you might be holding on to. At the same time, try to notice any feelings in each part of your body as you progress. You might notice the pressure of the ground on your buttocks and back for instance, or you might notice a cool breeze on your skin.

Next, focus on your breathing and just watch it go in and out.

Don’t try to control the breathing, just notice it and focus on it.

You might find after a while that your mind starts to wonder onto other things. Unlike other types of meditation though, this doesn’t mean you’re ‘failing’. All you’re going to do is to notice the thought and then refocus on your breathing.

When your thoughts emerge, simply watch them go by like clouds – like any other physical sensation – and then keep relaxing.

As you learn to do this, you should find that it helps to you ‘detach’ yourself from those thoughts and prevents them from affecting your emotions. It’s okay to think those things as long as you keep focused on your body and the sensation of breathing.

NOVEMBER 2016 37

SOCIAL COMMENTARY

BLACK IS THE COLOR OF LOVE

BY DR. STEPHAN M. SCOGGINS

It’s that time! No, not for the holidays, but for LOVE. Traditionally and historically in the African-American communities the Thanksgiving holiday is the commencement to many family gatherings. Kitchens from coast to coast have hosted everything from food festivals to food fights. Should there ever be a category on the hit show, Family Feud, asking “Name something that a black female cook would say?” One of the answers, most definitely, would be, “Get out of my kitchen!” And if you ever doubted the territorial control of a cook’s kitchen, go to a local church where Mrs. Johnson is over the kitchen and try to invade her space. Go ahead, I dare you. Heck, I even double-dare you. You will get to see her lay her religion down. Sistahs don’t play over their kitchen. Additionally, kitchens have been the most comforting to private conversations, such as marriages, divorces and who the REAL daddy is. Regardless of the conversations or activities of many kitchens, the cooking and eating serve as the best conduit to the ultimate desired result….family love.

I recently shared a family observation to my mother that I’d like to extend to my readers. I told my mother that I don’t have ONE recollection of seeing any public display of affection by ANY couple in my entire family. I don’t mean any affection towards me.

I’m talking about towards each other. I was showered with love, hugs and kisses yet I have NEVER, you don’t hear me, I mean as in EVER, have I seen ANY adult couple in my immediate family hug, kiss or hold hands. To help with a survey we are conducting, please email us at info@BlackIsTheColorOfLove.com and let us know your family geographical location and of any parental public displays of affection that that you observed.

38 THESTANDARDPS.COM

Like with many lessons, it is very important that we model for our younger generations of HOW to express love. Unfortunately, many conversations that I have had with older black adults, I’m talking fifties and sixties, unless it is outright, sho nuff hope to die sex, they report NONE of the aforementioned hugs, kisses or hand holding acts. The mere discussion of the conversation is met with either giggles or remarks like, “Ain’t nobody got time for all-a-dat.” It is my contention that the most beautiful form of intimacy is a delicate kiss, an evening after dinner walk, holding hands without any talking, laying your head of each other’s chest during a television show and dare I say the MOST intimate? Parents, cover your children’s eyes…..”Sit and talk with each other about your needs, fears and insecurities. Please forgive me for getting THAT graphic. I know this is family channel.

So, let’s help each other identify ways that we can “get this party started!” First, we have learn to feel comfortable with touch. Many people even avoid a professional massage due to their fear of skinto-skin contact. That also becomes a contributing for those persons are very sexually promiscuous, yet will say things like, “I don’t kiss.” There was comedian who said, “How many people like to cuddle after you have sex? And how many people are like me, you want to just get your money and go?” Years ago, we would see women sitting next to their man while he was driving. It looked like they were happy, like they wanted to be close, like they wanted others to know it. I am not suggesting that we flaunt public displays of affection for the sake of others, but rather that we feel comfortable in the privacy of our own homes to differentiate sex and intimacy. In my mind, sex is just the physical part where we knock shit off the nightstand, sometimes the coffee table and periodically the back seat while stargazing.

However, the intimacy is holding hands while watching Scandal, placing someone’s car keys where you know they can find them or my most recent experience, when I took off my wedding ring to go to the gym, when I returned home the ring as placed through a fresh cut flower along with a note that said, “I love you!”

We frequently hear the adage, “To whom much is given much is required.” What better way for us to help each other enjoy more love than by sharing some different expressions of love so that we may incorporate them into our relationships? Visit www.

BlackIsTheColorOfLove.com and email us some ideas. By the way, LOVE comes in ALL colors, so I certainly look forward to receiving expressions of love from all races.

LIFE’S A DRAG TIME TO “SEASON” IT UP

BY PINKIE MERINGUE SHIMMER

Hello all of you most Fabulous people out there!

Welcome to high season in Palm Springs. This time of year all of the fabulous drag queens and drag kings are in high demand. There are walks, festivals, fundraising events, parades, party’s happening.

You name it and you find at least one drag persona there, although we usually travel in packs. LOL This time of year is so much fun. Us in the drag world really get to bring out our most creative thoughts. Just look around. Take the Dollar Store, for instance, it is full of Christmas decorations, or as I call them, earrings. Lol. I was there the other day and there were these ornaments in a 2 pack, little Christmas trees. So of course I don’t think of how they will look on the tree, I think of how they will look hanging from my ears. So, ladies and gentlemen, get your glue guns and needle and thread ready to create fabulousness.

Attention my brothers and sisters in drag. This is a fun time of the year, so really live in the moment and have fun with it. For me, I know, being Pinkie gives me a voice. It is your chance to step out of your comfort zone and just have fun. People around here love drag. The cameras come out and you get to feeling like a star as the flashes start lighting up your face. You know a very large number of entertainers are quiet, even shy, when they are not in their alter ego persona.

So go out and really have fun as you put smiles on faces wherever you go. Also you have a perfect opportunity to help others in the community by giving back.

Be kind to each other!

LOVE AND LIGHT Pinkie Meringue Shimmer Email me at pinkiemeringue@yahoo.com Follow me on Facebook under Pinkie Meringue Shimmer

NOVEMBER 2016 39

the3D’s RESTAURANTS WANG’S IN THE DESERT 424 S Indian Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 92262 760.325.WANG (9264) www.wangsinthedesert.com NATURE’S HEALTH FOOD & CAFE 555 S Sunrise Way Suite 301 Palm Springs, CA 760.323.9487 www.natureshealthfoodcafe.com SHERMAN’S DELI & BAKERY 401 E Tahquitz Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 760.325.1199 www.shermansdeli.com RÍO AZUL 350 S. Indian Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 760.992.5641 www.rioazulpalmsprings.com AZUL RESTAURANT 369 N Palm Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 760.325.5533 www.azultapaslounge.com TINTO 1800 E. Palm Canyon Dr. PS 760.323.1711 palmsprings.tintorestaurant.com COPLEY’S ON PALM CANYON 621 N Palm Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 760.327.9555 www.copleyspalmsprings.com

40 THESTANDARDPS.COM

DINE | DRINK | DANCE { Coachella Valley } WORKSHOP KITCHEN & BAR 800 N. Palm Canyon Dr. PS 760.459.3451 www.workshoppalmsprings.com LULU CALIFORNIA BISTRO 200 S Palm Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 760.327.5858 www.lulupalmsprings.com POMME FRITE 256 S Palm Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 760.778.3727 www.pomme-frite.com DISH 1107 N. Palm Canyon Dr. PS 760.322.7171 www.dishcreativecuisine.com THAI SMILE PALM SPRINGS 100 South Indian Canyon Drive, Palm Springs, CA 92262 760.320.5503 www.thaismilepalmsprings.com TRIO RESTAURANT 707 N Palm Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 760.864.8746 www.triopalmsprings.com THE TROPICALE 330 E Amado Road Palm Springs, CA 760.866.1952 www.thetropicale.com

BARS AND NIGHT CLUBS

ZIN AMERICAN BISTRO 198 S Palm Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 760.322.6300 www.pszin.com

HUNTERS NIGHTCLUB 302 East Arenas Road, Palm Springs, CA 92262 760.323.0700 www.huntersnightclubs.com

BIRBA 622 N Palm Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 760.327.5678 www.birbaps.com

TOUCAN’S TIKI LOUNGE 2100 North Palm Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 92262 760.416.7584 www.toucanstikilounge.com

CHEEKYS 622 N Palm Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 760.327.7595 www.cheekysps.com

PURPLE ROOM 1900 E. Palm Canyon Dr. PS 760.322.4422 www.purpleroompalmsprings.com

EL MIRASOL 140 E Palm Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 760.323.0721 www.elmirasolrestaurants.com RICK’S RESTAURANT 1973 N Palm Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 760.416.0090 www.ricksrestaurant.biz PINOCCHIO IN THE DESERT 134 E. Tahquitz Canyon Way Palm Springs, CA 92262 760.322.3776 www.pinocchiops.com

CHILL BAR 217 E. Arenas Road PS 760.327.1079 STREETBAR 224 E. Arenas Road PS 760.320.1266 www.psstreetbar.com THE TOOL SHED 600 E. Sunny Dunes Road, Palm Springs, CA 92262 760.320.3299 www.toolshed-ps.com SPURLINE VIDEO LOUNGE 200 Indian Canyon Drive Palm Springs CA 92262 760.778.4326 www.spurline.com

BUSINESS DIRECTORY GET HIM ON THE LINE Try For Free

800-960-6843 www.TrioPalmSprings.com

Ahora en Español /18+

For advertising inquiries please contact Nino@thestandardps.com TO SUBSCRIBE TO THE STANDARD PLEASE GO TO THESTANDARDPS.COM If you are an artist and would like to be considered for our ART VIEW - Artist Profile, please email us at info@thestandardps.com.

COMING UP NEXT MONTH 2016 YEAR IN REVIEW

NOVEMBER 2016 41

al c lo

EVENTS CALENDAR ONGOING >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

NOV 15 DESERT STONEWALL DEMOCRATS POST ELECTION MEETING We will have a post-election wrap-up with expert analysis of what the results might mean, especially for the LGBTQ community, and what WE can do to help. While there were, of course, major disappointments there are also a few results to celebrate. Our panel will lead a conversation discussing election results and political issues, legal issues, and potential impacts on minority communities.

When: Tuesday November 15th, 6:00 - 8:00 pm at Mizell Senior Center in Palm Springs.

NOV 19 PET ADOPTION DAY STONEWALL GARDENS PALM SPRINGS Stonewall Gardens, Palm Springs’ first LGBT affirming senior assisted living village, will team up with the Palm Springs Animal Shelter to host a “Seniors for Seniors” pet adoption event at Stonewall Gardens. Older dogs and cats are often overlooked in the adoption process, so the PS Animal Shelter will bring some of their loveable senior pets needing a “forever home” and pair them up with interested pet adopters. www.stonewallgardens.com 760.548.0970

42 THESTANDARDPS.COM

DEC 2 - 4 MAMMA MIA! MCCALLUM THEATRE PALM DESERT Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus’ Mamma Mia!, the smash hit musical based on the songs of ABBA, plays the McCallum Theatre for five performances as a part of its final farewell tour. Performances begin on Friday, December 2, and run through Sunday, December 4. Mamma Mia! is one of the most successful musicals of all time, the eighth longest running show in Broadway history and one of only five musicals to have run for more than ten years on Broadway. Tickets available at www.mccallumtheatre.com

DBA EVENTS FOR MORE INFO VISIT WWW.DESERTBUSINESSASSOCIATION.ORG

CHILL BAR PALM SPRINGS A warm and fabulous twenty first century modern venue located on Arenas, suited with multi faceted rooms for any celebration.

The gorgeous island bar is surrounded by hi-definition video entertainment and a comfortable designer lounge. Chill on the patio enjoying music and refreshing beverages with friends after a game of pool, or come by and say hello to our friendly staff. Open for business seven days a week. Get out of the heat, and come join us! Happy Hour (From Open to 7pm) and Late Happy Hour (From Midnight to Last Call) $4 Well Drinks, $2.75 Bud Light & $1.50 Chill Lager. www.chillbarpalmsprings.com

THE SUNDAY BAND W/ SPECIAL GUESTS. PAPPY & HARRIET’S PIONEERTOWN The Sunday Rock + Roll Service is a Pappy and Harriet’s institution celebrating the healing powers of music and community!

Every weekend the club’s favorite singers and players get together and trade songs.

Come join us to see Victoria Williams, Gar Robertson, Carol Ann Crandall, Damian Lester, Bob Furgo, Rachel Dean, Ryan Norman, Caleb Winn, Danny Frankel and other talented locals performing for your drinking and dancing pleasure. With a come-as-you-are vibe, Sundays have seen great special guests like Robert Plant, Lucinda Williams, The Jayhawks, Rickie Lee Jones to name a few. www.pappyandharriets.com

lo ca l

EVENTS CALENDAR

CARNIVAL CABARET. OSCAR’S CAFÉ & BAR. PALM SPRINGS Carnival Cabaret is a high-end female impersonator revue.

This production has traveled throughout the country with performances in casinos, theaters and for corporate events.

Carnival Cabaret features the world’s most amazing cast of men who perform as famous women. You will not believe your eyes! Veteran TV and film actor James Gypsy Haake, who holds the record for the oldest working female impersonator in the world, hosts the show. Haake is 83 years old and has been seen in films and television since the 1980s. Shows run every Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Dinner show seating begins at 6:30pm. Show only seating begins at 7:30pm. Showtime is 8pm.

Tickets start at $29.95.

Tickets: carnivalcabaret.ticketleap.com

COPA In a throwback to old Palm Springs’ nightclubs, the Copa is fashioned around an elevated performing stage and a stunning u-shaped bar lined with leather barstools, upholstered booths, and gilded cocktail tables. Sink into the sexy lounge, sip a cocktail, and enjoy the lineup of local and guest entertainers. For weekly schedule visit www.coparoomps.com

OSCAR’S CAFÉ & BAR Located in the heart of downtown Palm Springs on the corner of Tahquitz Canyon Way and Indian Canyon, Oscar’s has a huge outdoor patio with lots of umbrellas for shade and misters to keep you cool, too.

You can beat the heat any time of year and enjoy the views of Palm Springs. On Saturday and Sunday from 8am – 2pm, enjoy a $9 Bottomless Mimosas (juice included), a single $2 mimosa or a $5 Bloody Mary with brunch, during which both our full breakfast and lunch menus are available. Also join us for Sunday Funday Weekly Tea Dance 4pm-Close! Live entertainment weekly visit our website for details. www.oscarspalmsprings.com

LIPSTICK AT COPA Thursday nights at Copa just got a little hotter with a new show at the new showroom inside Copa. The Hot New Lipstick show is a raucous affair where the audience is encouraged to participate in singing, clapping, dancing, partying and celebrating special events. Featuring performances by Charles Herrera, Pinkie Meringue Shimmer, Marina Mac, Sassy Ross, Dion Khan, and Cherilyn, and emceed by the fabulous Bella Da Ball, this show will not disappoint. For ticket info and schedule of performers visit www.coparoomps.com

HUNTERS NIGHTCLUBS® Palm Springs, Palm Springs’ go-to gay bar and dance club, has been leading the way in full-out fun for 16 years now! And we keep it pumping, making it better for you all the time with our unparalleled event line-up. We enjoy having

the desert’s most sought-after and friendly DJs, full-on themed events, and a staff that has it all without the attitude. And of course, we are proud to hold the longest happy hour in the entire Valley. Remember: Size Matters.

Come by for our happy hour from 10am- 7pm.

Yes, that’s right: 9 hours long! For a list of all events and specials visit www.huntersnightclubs.com

SUNDAYS “The Playgirls” at Toucans Tiki Lounge featuring Tommi Rose. Performances at 8 & 10pm.These darling Divas of drag really deliver with their very own brand of entertainment to packed houses. Special guests appear weekly. DJ in the sound booth. Every Sunday Complete list of events www.toucanstikilounge.com FOR A COMPLETE CALENDAR OF EVENTS VISIT OUR MEDIA PARTNER, GAY DESERT GUIDE. CLICK ON LOGO

NOVEMBER 2016 43

tl a n

EVENTS CALENDAR

NOV 24 - 26

NOV 18 - 20

GAY SINGLES TRAVEL PORTLAND LAUNCH PORTLAND,OREGON Ten single gay gentlemen - handpicked and pre-screened - will celebrate our inaugural event with wine, weed, and food. The event is scheduled in Foodie town, Portland, Oregon, known for its progressiveness and natural beauty. As part of the event, TravelOnaDate will host Singles Mingle! on November 19th, a local singles mixer that introduces the travelers to twenty Portlandbased gay singles for a night of local food and fun games. www.travelonadate.com

THANKSGIVING BEARFEST 2016 AUGUSTA, GEORGIA Come and celebrate the season at the 17th Annual Thanksgiving Bear Fest at Parliament Resort. With a history of amazing crowds and fantastic events, we are looking forward to another amazing Thanksgiving weekend with you and all of our other members and guests. Always an amazing weekend, the Annual Thanksgiving BearFest Weekend is a celebration of Bears, Cubs, and Admirers.

Mark your calendars and book your rooms for this sellout weekend event. www.thanksgivingbearfest.com

DEC 2 - 4

HOLLY FOLLY 2016 PROVINCETOWN, MASSACHUSETTS Three days of holiday revelry in Provincetown, from traditional carols around the piano to the not so traditional Speedo run down Commercial Street. Although it’s not what Currier and Ives had in mind, Holly Folly is a fun kick-start to the Holiday season with a line-up of events including Jingle Bell Run & Barefoot Champaign Brunch, the Boston Gay Men’s Chorus, dancing, and the popular ‘Shop Hop,’ where you vie for great prizes while taking advantage of major sales happening in Provincetown’s shops and galleries. www.ptown.org

NOV 23 - 28

NOV 15 - 20

LAS VEGAS TRANS PRIDE WEEK LAS VEGAS, NEVADA Six days of events, that brings Pride, Awareness, Remembrance, Empowerment, Celebration and Support from our beloved Allies to the Transgender Community. For a complete schedule of events please go to www.lasvegastranspride.org

44 THESTANDARDPS.COM

32ND ANNUAL WHITE PARTY WEEK MIAMI, FLORIDA White Party began in 1985 as a pioneering fundraiser to raise money for research and awareness on a new disease called AIDS. Thirty years later, the Party remains true to its roots as a primary income source for Care Resource, a nonprofit, multicultural, community-based AIDS service organization, which provides education, prevention, research, care and treatment, and support services. Surrounded by an entire weekend of events, Saturday’s actual “White Party” unites thousands of gay men and women dressed in white, creating a fairy tale party setting. www.whiteparty.org

DEC 8

DRAG QUEENS ON ICE IN UNION SQUARE SAN FRANCISCO, CA Fierce, fabulous and always cool, Bay Area drag queens return to the ice for this wildly popular annual event. Over the top, outrageous and the most entertaining spectacle on blades, this performance guarantees to make audiences of all ages laugh and dance. Sore cheeks from smiling for 90 minutes straight included. A truly glittering and glamorous San Francisco event. http://unionsquareicerink.com/

int l

EVENTS CALENDAR be strolling, shopping, eating and drinking.

Pink Christmas can be reached from the “Sendlinger Tor” in just a few minutes walking. www.pink-christmas.de

NOV 10 - 19

NOV 7 - 13

MASPALOMAS WINTER PRIDE CANARY ISLANDS, SPAIN The Maspalomas Winter Pride will take place over three days in November in the iconic Yumbo Centrum offering a range of internationally known artists, events and entertainment especially designed to appeal to the demographic of the islands gay winter visitors. www.gaypridemaspalomas.com

NOV 7 - 19

GFEST – GAYWISE FESTIVAL LONDON, ENGLAND London’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and Intersex (LGBTQI) cross Art festival for all. Produced by arts charity Wise Thoughts, GFEST features some of the established alongside fresh, young artists and queer talent working across the arts. Events range from art exhibition, performances, films screening, debates and events. The arts and cultural festival also helps profile human rights issues and makes a creative case for ‘Equality in all walks of life.’ www.gaywisefestival.org.uk

OUTBURST QUEER ARTS FESTIVAL BELFAST NORTHERN IRELAND Our 10th anniversary program aims to reflect on what Home has been, is and can be for queer people all over the world. From the streets of São Paulo and Kingston Town to New York, Dublin and Belfast, our events bring to life both the unique stories and common experiences we have as LGBTQ+ in relation to place and belonging. We have our biggest ever program of participatory events in Outburst 10 and we hope that you’ll come along and find something that sparks your passion and imagination. www.outburstarts.com

DEC 5 - 12

MAD BEAR 2016 MADRID, SPAIN Mad Bear’s 15th annual international meeting of bears, big men and admirers from Spain and abroad coincides with Spain’s biggest public holidays of the year.

Mad Bear 2015 will offer you 8 days and 7 nights of partying and fun with bar fiestas, club dance parties, the best national and international DJs, dinners, competitions, trips, saunas, gastronomy and culture. www.madbear.org

NOV 26 - DEC 23

PINK CHRISTMAS MUNICH, GERMANY For the 12th time “Pink Christmas” will open this years doors in the heart of the famous “Glockenbachviertel” in Munich. It is a small, pretty, colorful, diversified market - and as social as no other! Gays, locals and guests feel equally happy and are looking forward to the friendly vibes, the various and special stands, the famous tasty “Glühwein” as well as our unique nightly Show-Acts. Pink Christmas will be open during the full advent season, starting November 26th ending the December 23th. Right next to the historic graveyard “Alter Südfriedhof”, people will

Our international media partner, FNQ Magazine, www.fnqmagazine.com Cairns gay lifestyle and travel publication that gives Australia and the world a taste of gay life in the tropics, sponsors the International Calendar. www.go2gaycairns.com

NOVEMBER 2016 45

FOUR FANTASTIC DAYS OF POOL PARTIES, DANCE EVENTS, AND CAMARADERIE, AND OF COURSE A LOT OF FUN, FROLIC & FUR

Hosted at the Hard Rock Hotel FRIDAY FEBRUARY 10

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 10

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 12

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 12

SATURDAY FEBRUARY 11

SATURDAY FEBRUARY 11

Weekend Passes & Room Reservations at www.ibc-ps.com

46 THESTANDARDPS.COM

PHOTO REWIND MODERNISM WEEKEND PHOTOS COURTESY OF DAVID A. LEE

NOVEMBER 2016 47

PHOTO REWIND CENTER STAGE PHOTOS COURTESY OF DAVID A. LEE

48 THESTANDARDPS.COM

PHOTO REWIND AIDS WALK PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE STANDARD MAGAZINE STAFF

NOVEMBER 2016 49

PHOTO REWIND HALLOWEEN ON ARENAS PHOTOS COURTESY OF DAVID A. LEE

50 THESTANDARDPS.COM

PHOTO REWIND HALLOWEEN ON ARENAS PHOTOS COURTESY OF DAVID A. LEE

NOVEMBER 2016 51

52 THESTANDARDPS.COM