TheStandard_Vol8_Issue4.pdf

APRIL 2020 VOLUME 8 ISSUE 4 THESTANDARDPS.COM @THESTANDARDPS

AAP/FOOD SAMARITANS GRATEFUL CLIENTS TELL THEIR STORIES

• ELTON JOHN IN PALM SPRINGS...ALMOST EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH CRAIG A MEYER

• LGBT COMMUNITY & COVID-19 THE RISK FACTOR

CONTENTS VOLUME 8, ISSUE 4

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PHOTO REWIND CHILDERS ROCKIN HOLLYWOOD PAGS 44-45

Volume 8 Issue 4 COVER AAP/FOOD SAMARITANS A MESSAGE FROM MARK ANTON COVER EXPRESSING GRATITUDE AAP/FOOD SAMARITAN CLIENTS SAY THANKS COVER SIR ELTON JOHN IN PALM SPRINGS (ALMOST) INTERVIEW WITH CRAIG A MEYER FEATURE DAP UPDATE KEEP UP ON WHAT’S HAPPENING FEATURE LGBT COMMUNITY & COVID 19 THE RISK FACTOR

PHOTOS COURTESY OF DAVID A. LEE

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COMMENTARY STOP THE SPREAD OF GERMS

Help prevent the spread of respiratory diseases like COVID-19.

Avoid close contact with people who are sick.

Cover your cough or sneeze with a tissue, then throw the tissue in the trash.

The Standard Magazine PO Box 2074, Palm Springs, CA 92263 760.831.4869 Nino Eilets Publisher Luciano McNulty Editor Maya Kalabic Art Director PHOTOGRAPHER David A. Lee CONTRIBUTORS

Clean and disinfect frequently touched objects and surfaces.

Daniel Clemens, Jeff Dorta, Mona Elyafi, Dann Foley, Steven Henke, Richard Jones, Jill Langham, Jacob Lopez, Jimmy Newsum, Jason Phillips, Christina Vronay Ruggles, Mike Sandoval, Terri Schlichenmeyer & Ethan Thorpe

www.thestandardps.com EDITORIAL CREDITS :

BrandPoint, Huffington Post, LGBTQ Nation, Project Publicity, MSN & Reuters

Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth.

The Standard Magazine is published monthly. Opinions

Stay home when you are sick, except to get medical care.

expressed are not necessarily the opinions of the Standard or its staff, advertisers or readers with exception of editorials.

Publication of the name or photograph of any person, business or organization in articles or advertising in the Standard is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such

Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds.

person, business or organization. The Standard disclaims any responsibility for claims made by advertisers. Advertising rates are subject to change without notice. The Standard reserves the

cdc.gov/COVID19 314915-A March 16, 2020 1:02 PM

right, at its sole discretion, to reject any advertisement for any reason including, but not limited to poor taste. It is the policy of The Standard that we only publish letters to the editor that are signed by the author and verifiable by phone number. We can reserve the right of anonymity upon request. The letters need to be original, in good taste and free of libel as well as edited for clarity and grammar. Letters are subject to editing by The Standard that also reserves the right to decline print. Please forward your letters to: info@thestandardps.com The views

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expressed is not necessarily those of The Standard. Copyright 2013. All rights reserved. No portion of the publication may be reproduced in any form without the expressed consent of the publisher.

COVER

MESSAGE FROM AAP/FOOD SAMARITANS EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, MARK ANTON

In these difficult and uncharted times, AAP - Food Samaritans’ focus on supplying nutritional support, as it has been for the last 30 years, is of #1 importance to us.

Although these unprecedented times are proving to be a struggle for many, including us, we want you to know we fully intend to continue to address the nutritional needs of all of those who we serve: Low-income people living with chronic illnesses. We are currently looking at ways we can partner with other organizations to help get food into the homes of those needing it most.

As many of you know, this time of year we are usually preparing for our annual Evening Under the Stars fundraising gala. However, with the COVID-19 issues all around us, we don’t know what the future will hold. We cannot yet make the call on whether we will hold the event on May 2nd or not. Because of this our revenue has come to a complete halt and people have - for the moment - stopped purchasing tickets. We get it.

To continue to take care of our clients we need your help. I know that for some of you, like us, your income has dried up almost completely. But if you’re in a position to help, we ask that you please consider making a donation on line today. Simply click the link below and give as much as your circumstances allow. Remember, our clients could be any one of us at some point in our lives.

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To all of those who know AAP – Food Samaritans, you know that we have never believed in a hard-core push for donations and have always felt that “if the cause resonates, folks will donate.” Right now, we need you.

This is a very trying time for small grass-roots charities like ours and our survival depends on donations, all of which will be used to only supply food to our community.

On behalf of everyone at AAP, thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Mark Anton, Executive Director AAP – Food Samaritans https://aidsassistance.org/donate In 1991 AAP – Food Samaritans was founded (originally called AIDS Assistance Program) with the goal of helping the most atrisk members of our community – people who are low-income and compromised by health issues – by providing nutritional support to men, women and children living with HIV/AIDS. In 2015 it expanded its mission to serve others in the greater Palm Springs community

who are living with chronic illnesses such as cancer, M.S., and heart or liver diseases. As it expanded its services, it also updated its organization name to AAP – Food Samaritans.

Since its inception, AAP has distributed more than $10 million in direct client service to more than 2,300 clients. Its important to note that these clients get by on an annual income of less than $18,090, and most AAP clients rarely, if ever, make it off of the client list.

“AAP – Food Samaritans could not fulfill our mission without the dedication and support of the incredible people and organizations that support us,” said Mark Anton, CEO/Executive Director of AAP – Food Samaritans. “Without their caring and inspirational leadership, we would not be able to support the nutritional needs of those lowincome individuals living with HIV/AIDS and other chronic illnesses in our community. We are so very grateful for their unyielding kindness that they exhibit on a daily basis not only for AAP, but for many other organizations across the entire Coachella Valley.”

As of this printing, Evening Under the Stars has yet to be postponed to a later date. Please visit www.aidsassistance.org for latest updates and ways to help the organization

APRIL 2020 7

COVER

AAP/FOOD SAMARITANS GRATEFUL CLIENTS TELL THEIR STORIES

JOHN ROEDEL AND DAVID TAYLOR (Long Term Clients February 2009) We, John Roedel and David Taylor, would like so share our experience with AAP and to state how great the staff, the volunteers have been. The generosity, the kindness, respect, and understanding of the tribulations life with AIDS throws at you. We always look forward to seeing the staff who have been a light on a very hard journey. They’ve seen us at our worst, have always listened and helped us through the hard times. You know what it’s like when you are sick, you lock yourself away, sometimes not seeing anyone else besides the pharmacist. They have a kind word, a smile and a sincere hug that makes you want to continue fighting.

AAP has been a blessing in our life. Life was going really great, had a beautiful home, a business, and a great social life and then, BOOM, the economy collapsed. We lost our business, our home and then our 2 dogs died, this is true. Two weeks after we closed the store John had a heart attack and his immune system collapsed. A few months later David’s immune system collapsed and he developed pneumonia for the second time and developed AIDS but this time there was neurological issues. We were fighting to refinance and maintain our house, plus paying a lease on El Paseo to avoid being sued. Neither one of us were able to work or maintain a job due to this disease. Our savings were eaten up trying to stay afloat. Paying the bills came first, food was always secondary. We didn’t qualify for food stamps and both were extremely ill, not knowing how to get through the month or have money for food. One day we were at Desert AIDS Project and while waiting in line a gentleman told us of

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AAP. We applied and a few months later were accepted as clients.

It was life changing. It was like being around people who sincerely care about you, when it’s hard to even care about yourself.

They care about their fellow brothers and sisters. Yes it’s a gift, access to healthy food, but it is so much more than that. The compassion, the generosity of listening and giving emotional support, understanding and helping people have a better life.

A few months back David lost hope because he came down with AIDS again. John just had major health issues and almost died. John added, “During distribution we broke down and in tears the entire staff was there to support and listen to our concerns. All hope was lost until this moment when because of their compassion, caring and support through this ordeal gave us hope again”. John continued. “I have never thanked them but would like to thank them for their love, their compassion and sacrifice of their time to help all of us afflicted with this disease. We are better, healthier because of you. AAP and their donors give hope, reaching out giving a lifting hand, a healthier life”.

ELIZABETH MORGAN (Recent Client May 2019) In my lifetime I have worked very, very hard. I earned a BA Degree From California State University, and a two year Post Graduate Certificate in Medical Writing from UCLA. I worked full time and went to school part time. It took me nine years. I owned and operated three small businesses.

For quite a number of years after having lost my house and business it was brutal. Not only had I lost everything, I was also suffering from an incurable, and extremely debilitating illness called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Finally, I found low-income senior housing in La Quinta. I am just now many years later beginning to stabilize.

These past years, putting food on the table has been a big issue, and I have felt the enormous stress of “food insecurity.” This is why I applied to AAP Food Samaritans.

I bought my first home, and then parlayed that into my second home, and then parlayed that into my third and last home. I converted my third and last home into an international boarding house for postdoctoral students doing research projects in the US. I lost my third and last house in the economic crash, and thus I also lost my business. I could not recover due to my ill health and advancing age, and no family to help.. That is what I did. Who I am is an entirely different thing.

For the first time in quite a long time I do not have to worry about having enough money each month to buy food. The awful stress of “food insecurity” is gone from my life. How to explain the impact of this? The one thing that comes to mind is a straight jacket.

It is kind of like having been in a straight jacket, and then suddenly having it taken off. Yes, I think this is a really good description of the way that AAP Food Samaritans has impacted my life. They have freed me.

People like me are often called “Searchers or Wanderers.”

We like to walk along the beach by ourselves. We are especially happy in forests and mountains. We like deserts and hidden rivers.

We like lonely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. We are usually artists, dancers, musicians, sculptures, and creators of beauty. For me, it was dance. I was a semi professional Ballroom Dancer, and I had the privilege of training with and performing with famous professional dancers. I needed dance the way other people need air to breath. For me it was dance, but most of all we want to love and be loved. The catch 22 is that we can only be in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, or take us for what little we have to give. When we do give, we give everything we have.

Even though I am mostly housebound, just the stress relief I now feel has made me begin to think about starting a small business again. Yup. I have been really successful starting little business on a shoestring. My health has to improve, but I am hopeful. I am about to make my first purchase of equipment ( not expensive) that I will need to get started.

Thank you to all the anonymous donors and very, very special thanks to Craig, and all the volunteers that greet me and my very special service dog, Ruby, each first Tuesday of the month. They always have hugs and an outpouring of love and kindness for us.

(And of course the amazing gift of the Stater Brother Food Card).

APRIL 2020 9

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COVER

SIR ELTON JOHN COMES TO PALM SPRINGS (ALMOST)

BY CHRIS ASTRALA

On May 2 2020, Meyer and his backup group, the Rocket Band, will bring pop classics such as “Tiny Dancer,” “Bennie and the Jets” and “Crocodile Rock” to Evening Under the Stars at the O’Donnell Golf Course in Palm Springs. The one-night event will showcase Sir Elton John’s most memorable musical moments that span more than four decades of recording, motion picture and Broadway success.

In the world of musical homages, there are tribute artists, cover bands and impersonators, but Craig A. Meyer’s show, Remember When Rock Was Young—The Elton John Tribute is something else entirely.

“Really, I’m an illusionist,” says Meyer, who for the last twelve years has used smoke, mirrors, sequins and platform heels to convince audiences that he’s the next-closest-thing to the British pop superstar.

“I lovingly call [Almost Elton] my ‘superhero’ alter ego,” he adds.

“I step in a phone booth and walk out wearing a cape. I’m still Craig, but I’m also this other entity. It’s fun to step into somebody else’s heels for a while, if you will.”

The decision to don the platform shoes as Almost Elton John came after crowds responded enthusiastically to his performance of a pair of John’s songs during a benefit at a theater in Atlanta, where he is based. “There were people who came up to me afterward who said, ‘There were moments when I would close my eyes, and I could have sworn I was listening to Elton John,’” he says. “ My response was, like, ‘Huh—I never really thought of it in that way.’ “ After a quick shopping trip through Atlanta’s Little Five Points district, he put together the first of what would eventually become 20 stage costumes, each more over-the-top than the last. After working up a set and putting feelers out, he began performing in concert as “Almost Elton John.” He now performs 80-100 concerts annually and has made appearances in Las Vegas, California, New York, Monaco and Turkey.

APRIL 2020 11

COVER

The Rocket Band: Michael Lamond :: Bass/Co Mgr Kelly Fletcher :: Vocals Shawn Megordan :: Vocals Doug Jacobs :: Guitar Pat Strawser :: Keys Wayne Viar :: Drums The Standard Magazine had the opportunity to squeeze a little time out of Craig’s super busy schedule to sit down and talk about his prolific career. Here’s what he had to say.

film appearances, voice over work for Disney, Broadway and National Tours, as well as concert tours with Frankie Valli and Barry Manilow.

When did you know that this was the thing you wanted to do?

I started dancing in the third grade. It was the best way my mom could think of to focus my crazy energy. Little did she realize that the “bug” hit me early and has never let go. All I ever wanted to be was a working actor, and I am happy to say, I’ve lived out that dream.

You have worked in pretty much all aspects of the entertainment world, music, television, theatre and film. Which one of these is your favorite and why?

When and where did you get your start in entertainment?

I taught myself how to play the piano at a very young age. I believe I was in the 3rd or 4th grade when I began plunking out notes and eventually used a chord chart to mimic the Elton John, Billy Joel, Barry Manilow, and Stevie Wonder songs I so loved. From there I started dancing, which led to an early start in TV in LA. I was living in Orange County in the mid 70’s and my parents graciously took me to LA for auditions and shoots. I did a few episodics, a fair amount of commercial work and a hilarious episode of Fernwood 2Nite with Fred Willard and Martin Mull. My career has included numerous TV and

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Well…I love the immediacy of live performance because you know if you’re hitting it or not on any given night. And while filming TV and film projects can be excruciatingly slow, the mailbox money of residuals is always fun to get each quarter. In truth, I love it all! As Mark Twain said, “Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Bravo, Mark. Bravo!

Who are your influences?

That’s easy…Elton, of course; Barry Manilow, with whom I

toured with for two years, Billy Joel for his boundless energy and percussive playing style, Gershwin for his inventiveness, and Fats Waller for his wit on the keys!

When did you decide to become a tribute artist?

It was quite by accident. I was vocal coaching here in Atlanta, and my now dear friend and fellow tribute artist, Melody Knighton, came to my studio to work on her Dolly Parton show. She invited me to explore the tribute world, but I demurred for two years. Then, I performed in a benefit concert and did a couple of Elton’s songs at the piano. The response was so strong, that I had Melody help me put together the look, a demo, and a website and we launched in late 2008. It grew rather quickly and by Spring of 2010, I was doing my first gig in Las Vegas. From that point, we moved by leaps and bounds and the show surpassed my work on Atlanta’s legit stages and sound stages.

Has Sir Elton John seen your show?

I don’t believe so, but I’m sure there are people in his organization that are aware of the show. Interestingly, however, while working as a studio singer in L.A., I was one of the first people to sing “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” for Elton and Tim Rice when they were working on The Lion King.

What is your favorite part of performing?

I love connecting with an audience. I’ve had some wonderful

opportunities to influence and impact people without ever really knowing it until after the fact. A few years ago, a woman who survived a brain aneurysm and who’d lost the ability to form short term memories was so moved by my performance, that when she saw me three days later, she knew who I was! That really floored me! I may not get to cure cancer, but I can make someone’s day! Ok! I’ll take it!

What can the audience at his year’s Evening Under the Stars expect from you performance?

What we deliver is a non-stop, dynamic, and exhilarating evening of music that will move you, touch your heart, and get you to remember when rock was young! It’s going to be an epic evening! I look forward to the energy of the Palm Springs crowd!

What’s next for Craig A Meyer?

Life. And lots of it. We are never guaranteed tomorrow. So living today and serving those around me is my daily goal.

As of this printing Evening Under the Stars has yet to be postponed to a later date. Please visit www.aidsassistance.org for latest updates and ways to help the organization

APRIL 2020 13

FEATURE

DAP COMMUNITY UPDATES

We are living in unprecedented times. It’s been two weeks since DAP opened its COVID-19 Triage clinic and put out the first call for community support to combat the COVID-19 pandemic. In that time, we’ve seen over 90 patients in the urgent clinic, screening and treating each one, and testing only those who were sickest.

CLINICAL & PROGRAMMING UPDATES DAP launched Tele-Health services for patients and clients who are not able to come to our campus for care during the COVID-19 pandemic. Starting Monday, patients can access their medical, psychotherapy, and psychiatry healthcare through their smartphones, iPads, or desktop computers.

DAP is still welcoming new clients during the COVID-19 health crisis. Services available include: COVID-19 Triage Clinic Primary Care Specialty Care for HIV and Hep C Behavioral Healthcare Sexual Health at The DOCK Social Services like case management, food assistance, transportation, housing and home care.

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The DOCK, temporarily housed in DAP’s Green Clinic, continued to see patients who have questions about their sexual health, testing for STI’s and HIV while our PrEP navigators continued to work with those who want access to the prevention technique.

DAP’s Social Service and Community Health teams launched home delivery of essential supplies, including food for our most vulnerable home-bound clients ensuring they don’t need to leave their home to go to the grocery store during the COVID-19 pandemic.

DAP created a series of Spanish language videos and blog content to ensure everyone has access to the same life-saving information.

DAP’s Client Wellness team launched a series of ZOOM meetings to connect clients in recovery to the groups that met at DAP before the COVID-19 pandemic. Yoga sessions and guest speakers will rollout soon.

DAP has had to re-adjust its operations in the wake of COVID-19. It has meant: • Making Telemedicine available to our clients through our MyChart client portal, which will enable them to continue in care if they are required to stay at home.

• Suspending non-urgent dental appointments at our Dental Clinic, in accordance with the American Dental Association recommended guidelines.

• Halting housecleaning, cooking and laundry for our Home Health clients, after the California Department of Public Health and other regulatory organizations issued strict guidelines protecting workers.

Through email and phone calls, we’ve continued to share with you updates from the frontline of our clinical work, having tested our first positive cases and the stories from grateful patients. In response to all of these, nearly 300 of you have answered our call. THANK YOU! We could not be more grateful. With $300,000 raised we have $1,150,000 left to raise.

Through these calls for your support, I have also received responses of concern asking, “why such a financial emergency?” And “How could a healthcare organization lay off staff in the middle of an emergency?”.

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, DAP was forced to close our three Revivals stores and our Dental Clinic foregoing the revenue from each.

We’ve had to cancel our Dining Out for Life fundraiser which raised $360,000, last year alone.

With many of our patients being in a high-risk group due to their age, our paid clinical visits and behavioral health clinic visits are down as well.

We responded to the COVID-19 pandemic by opening a Triage Clinic to screen, test, and treat respiratory illness.

Altogether, we anticipate revenue losses from now through June 30, 2020, of $2.5 million. Hence, we took swift action to stabilize the organization financially so that our core work of serving the 7,000 community members who call DAP their healthcare home remains uninterrupted during and after this crisis is over.

Be assured, our frontline clinical teams remain intact to provide daily care as well as COVID-19 triage services.

If you questions about COVID-19, please visit our COVID-19 FAQ’s for information in both English and Spanish. If you believe you might be symptomatic or need information about testing, please call our COVID-19 hotline at (760) 922-0407.

LATEST PROGRAM A New Collaborative for Sexual Stigma Busting in the Age of COVID-19.

Desert AIDS Project (DAP) and Trenton Ducati announce a new collaborative for sexual stigma busting in the age of COVID-19.

Exploring new ways of sexual expression that adhere to social distancing, both will bring their expertise in their fields in an effort to keep sexual wellness on the minds and lips of anyone who might be at risk.

DAP has been fighting sexual stigma in the Coachella Valley for 36 years and will provide fact-based, sex-positive information through leaders like C.J. Tobe, Director of Community Health at DAP. Trenton Ducati is a leading gay adult film star who’s also established himself as a producer and promoter. He owns adult brands like Ducati Studios, Gentlemen’s Closet, Nasty Daddy, and TrentonDucati.com. He will share insights from trends he sees in the adult entertainment industry.

“COVID-19 has changed the world, including our sex lives,” said C.J. Tobe, Director of Community Health at DAP. “We want our community to continue talking openly and honestly about sexual health in this new era.”

Desert AIDS Project offers judgment free HIV testing, PrEP/PEP services, and STI testing and treatment regardless how you practice social distancing.

“I’m ecstatic to work with DAP to get the message out,” said Trenton Ducati. “Let’s save our community by turning on some porn and staying home.”

For a look at DAP’s kick-off piece A Guide to Sex during COVID-19 visit https://www.desertaidsproject.org/dap-and-trenton-ducati/

APRIL 2020 15

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FEATURE

WHY ARE LGBTQ+ PEOPLE AT PARTICULAR RISK FOR CORONAVIRUS 2019?

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, plus (LGBTQ+) people are at particular risk for coronavirus disease 2019 (or COVID-19) as a result of several factors:

LGBTQ+ people experience health disparities. Health disparities affect the potential Coronavirus 2019 impact on us in two ways:

We use tobacco at rates that are 50% higher than the general population. Coronavirus 2019 is a respiratory illness that has proven particularly harmful to smokers.

Access to care barriers leaves us less likely to get medical care, and existing health disparities mean more of us live in a state of compromised health.

In addition, there are more than 3 million LGBTQ+ older people living in the United States. LGBTQ+ elders are already less likely than their heterosexual and cisgender peers to reach out to health and aging providers, like senior centers, meal programs, and other

Higher rates of HIV and cancer among LGBTQ+ individuals mean that a greater number of us may have compromised immunity, leaving us more vulnerable to Coronavirus infection.

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programs designed to ensure their health and wellness, because they fear discrimination and harassment. The devastating impact of COVID-19 on older people – new estimates show symptomatic people over 60 are 5x more likely to die compared to younger adults – makes this a huge issue for the LGBTQ+ communities as well.

What can I do to avoid getting this coronavirus?

There is currently no vaccine to prevent COVID-19.

If you are planning to travel, note all travel restrictions and advisories issued by Centers Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) or the World Health Organization (WHO).

Stay tuned to alerts by your local or state health departments about advisories related to your region.

Whenever possible practice social distancing, avoid being within three feet of people regardless of if they are showing signs of illness. Instead of kissing or shaking hands, consider bumping elbows, touching your heart, or bowing in greeting.

New research shows this coronavirus can stay contagious for 2-3 days on hard surfaces, 1 day on cardboard.

While there is no accurate estimation of how long Coronavirus 2019 can remain infectious after virus droplets land on surfaces, similar Coronaviruses have shown they can remain infectious for up to nine days. (As comparison, a flu virus remains infectious for about 24 hours.) This means there is likely a greater risk of catching Coronavirus 2019 from a surface.

Coronavirus does not get into our body through our skin, it gets into our body through mucous membranes. The most common route of transmission is from the hands (which touch the infected surface) to the mucous membranes on our faces. One study of medical students showed they touched their faces on average 23 times every hour. While we cannot always control our exposure to the virus, we can control the behaviors that make it easier for this virus to get into our bodies.

Every time we wash our hands correctly, we kill any Coronavirus on our hands. This includes washing for at least 20 seconds with any type of soap, being sure to get all hand surfaces scrubbed. If soap is not available hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol will also work.

When we stop touching our face with our hands, we also interrupt the highway of transmission. It is thought that we touch our faces so often as a way to comfort ourselves. Start practicing changing this pattern now, it will help you avoid not just COVID-19,

APRIL 2020 19

FEATURE but many other common viral infections as well. Even something as simple as using a tissue to touch our face instead of our fingers can stop this transmission vector.

A face mask is only recommended if you are ill, it is not effective in protecting you from becoming ill.

Are there special precautions that LGBTQ+ people should take?

This is a time where widespread community response can slow transmission. As an LGBTQ+ person, the faster you take steps to reduce your potential transmission of the virus, the more community members (and others) you will help. These steps include: THESE STEPS INCLUDE:

SOCIAL DISTANCING, AVOIDING TOUCHING COMMON SURFACES, FREQUENT HAND WASHING, AVOIDING OR AT LEAST REDUCING THE NUMBER OF TIMES YOU TOUCH YOUR FACE.

particularly if you have had contact with an infected person or traveled in an area known to have an outbreak. Tell them you are concerned you may have COVID-19, it will help them respond appropriately.

AS YOU TRAVEL TO GET HEALTH CARE, REMEMBER:

All smokers should know they can access free cessation services by calling or visiting 1-800-QUIT NOW.

Wear a face mask if you are sick or if you are caring for someone else who is sick Cover your coughs and sneezes Clean your own hands frequently. If you use soap and water, wash your hands for at least 20 seconds. If you use hand sanitizer, make sure it is at least 60% alcohol and covers the entire surfaces of your hands, rubbing until they feel dry.

Avoid touching your eyes, nose, mouth Do not share personal items, including drinking glasses, cups or towels.

Disinfect high touch surfaces Staying home while you are sick is the best way to avoid further transmitting the disease to others.

What should I do if I think I may have this coronavirus?

If you do not have a health provider you are comfortable with, there are several options for finding LGBTQ+ welcoming providers.

• GLMA has a directory of welcoming providers here http://www.glma.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=Page.

ViewPage&PageID=939 • Human Rights Campaign lists welcoming hospitals and medical centers here https://www.hrc.org/hei/search • Federal Qualified Health Centers have been receiving guidance on how to be LGBTQ+ welcoming (and offer care for low income/uninsured persons). Find a local one here https://www.fqhc. org/find-an-fqhc • The National LGBT Cancer Network has online directories for welcoming cancer screening and care providers. Find them here and here https://cancer-network.org/out-and-surviving/ Contact your oncologist or health provider if you have a fever and respiratory problems (such as a dry cough or trouble breathing),

20 THESTANDARDPS.COM

FIGHTING SOCIAL ISOLATION This is a great time to reach out to friends and family, and anyone you think may be alone. And if you’re feeling lonely or isolated, don’t worry about bothering other people – reach out!

If you’re under 65 and feeling well, reach out to someone who may be older and/or have immune compromise (such as on-going cancer treatment, HIV infection, or autoimmune disease) to see if you can do a shopping run or some other errand for them.

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GENIE HD DVR UPGRADE OFFER: Includes instant rebates on one Genie HD DVR and up to three Genie Minis. Req’s SELECT Pkg or above; ÓPTIMO MÁS Pkg or above; or qual. int’l svc bundle with PREFERRED CHOICE. $99 fee applies for Wireless Genie Mini upgrade. Whole-Home HD DVR functionality req’s an HD DVR connected to one television and a Genie Mini, H25 HD Receiver(s) or a DIRECTV Ready TV/Device in each additional room. Limit of three remote viewings per HD DVR at a time. Visit directv.com/genie for complete details.

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INDESIGN

SPRING (CLEANING) COMES EARLY THIS YEAR

BY DANN FOLEY

Sheltering at home is the new normal. Our homes are now our “everything”; shelter, office, refuge & quarantine center. And though spring-cleaning has always been a part of my lifestyle, this year it takes on a whole new meaning. This time it can be more meaningful and become a part of your own rejuvenation in more ways than just a clean home.

This is opportunity to see your home in a new light. Yes, we can clean and organize and get ourselves and our homes ready for the summer but, now that we are spending so much time at home, for the foreseeable future, why not reinvigorate your home as well.

Rearrange the things you know, dig out the things that have gone “missing” in the back of your closets and drawers. Think of this effort as the ultimate before & after makeover because, it doesn’t have to cost you any money!

Depending on how long you have already been staying at home, probably determines how much you might have already started with cleaning and organizing. Personally, I was already on track with my own spring-cleaning, though it has taken on an entirely new dimension since my self-quarantine.

Even your most beloved items and objects can do with a new view or perspective. One of the many “tricks” I offer my clients is how rearranging your existing items can bring new life to every

22 THESTANDARDPS.COM

room and each piece. And here’s something else…by taking down your artwork and rearranging it you are given the chance to really clean. You would probably be surprised how much dust and dirt can accumulate in the spaces between your art and your walls. Try it, take some art down and notice the shadow left behind from the dirt that naturally collects on the wall around it.

Cleaning can be cathartic and in this time anything that calms, satisfies or appeases our senses is a good thing. By giving your rooms and your loved pieces new life by rearranging them gives them and you a sense of renewal so appropriate with the change of seasons and our new normal.

I have written in these pages before about spring-cleaning but this time around I wanted to help you to concentrate on reimagining your existing spaces and precious items. There are ways of approaching the process to keep it from becoming overwhelming. Try these easy tips and find new life and new joy in your existing home.

• While cleaning out those closets and drawers, set aside those items that have meaning to you. They can be things you have displayed before or items that have been a part of your home before.

• Take down all of your artwork, wipe clean and set aside.

• When reorganizing your favorites things don’t forget to take those mirrors down for a good cleaning as well. Even these items can find a new home.

• Clear your tabletops of all accessories and books. Clean and wipe all of these items and set aside.

• I find the best way to proceed is to gather all of pieces in one place. See them all together as a whole collection first. This will help to see relationships between items you have not noticed before.

At this point I like to go room-by-room and clean on, over, around and under all of my furniture. It creates a sense of a clean palette to work with when it is time to decorate again. I like to set up tables in my garage to separate my treasures and belongings from the cleaning process. It also gives me that sense of started fresh in a clean house.

• Even if your mirrors need to go back in the same positions, try switching which mirror style and size goes where. It always surprises even me how a change of shape and size can change the look of the same place.

• Be sure to mix in some of those pieces you found tucked away.

They may be something you haven’t used in a long time or something that has made it “the cut” before. Either way, it’s a wonderful opportunity to see everything as fresh and new.

• Try creating stories with like items. A collection of like pieces is always stronger than those same items spread around.

• Always keep in mind layering and contrast. I love creating what I call “table-scapes”. By considering style, scale, height, material and finish you can create a story that never occurred to you before.

In times of upheaval, our homes should be our refuge. The place we find comfort and solace. A home is made up of memories; the house doesn’t matter. It is what we bring to the spaces that make all the difference. My wish for you is to stay calm, stay safe, and enjoy your time at home. Revel in your chance to clean, cook, rearrange and decorate. Pray, mediate and care for yourself. Set your table at night. Make meals at home a celebration. Use your dishes; turn on music and light candles. This can be a time of reimaging what a life well lived can be for you and your loved ones. Now is the time to make those changes.

We will get through this together. We will come out of this stronger. We will mourn our losses and dream new dreams. Forget about perfection, think about what matters most to you. Find what makes you happy.

Stay safe. Stay strong. Stay healthy.

Now that you are ready to proceed here are some tips to creating new displays and changing the entire look and feel of your home.

Live Well,

• Try to use existing pieces in different rooms all together. They will feel brand new or bring the memories attached to your treasures flooding back.

Dann dann@foleystinnette.com Designer Dann: Facebook / Instagram / Houzz / Twitter

APRIL 2020 23

AMAZON TRAIL

MICK’S POTATO FERTILIZER

BY LEE LYNCH

When I asked for advice about growing potatoes, our friend Mary wrote, “Here is what Mick does: blood meal, green sand, or wood ash, bone meal, a handful of each above item for each potato you plant, mix in wheel barrel with dirt and some peat moss, and steer poop. Love M&M.” Or, said Mick, who grows blue and other exotic potatoes, we can just buy an organic fertilizer. Whew. I found the prospect of mixing manure with soil a bit unappetizing. Which is why, last year, when a neighbor gave us her handmade wooden raised bed, I put off loading it at all and used it only as a support for plastic planters and grow bags. Not exactly best practice.

But it was practice and this year I had plans to search out however many cubic units I needed of that organic fertilizer stuff and get serious. I learned the stores we have around here don’t stock anything of the sort practically until spring. We dutifully saved egg cartons to make our own potato starts.

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I waited a little too long. Just as stores began stacking big bags of soil in their parking lots, going to the store became dangerous.

One day I spoke with my sweetheart about taking the precaution of growing some food of our own in case of extended quarantines, or in case the stores and farmers’ markets close, or the farmers, goddess forbid, fall victim to the pandemic. The next day my sweetheart went on her last shopping expedition until it’s once again “safe” out there.

She insisted on going to the stores herself because of my age.

As much as I wanted to at least share the risks associated with moving among large numbers of people, my sweetheart wouldn’t hear of it because I’m the elder. She is too good to me.

The CDC has classified me, and almost everyone I know, as older adults with increased vulnerability to COVID19 and its ilk. Infectious disease experts define “older adults” as anyone age 60 and up.

Today’s reports show the mortality rate for infected people in this age group in China is at 15% compared to 3.4 percent in younger sufferers.

This does not make me want to take my temperature every five minutes, but I do yearn for an old-fashioned thermometer—the kind without a battery that goes kaput when it’s most needed. Also, I’ve been a reliable hand washer for a long time and I’m perfectly willing to become temporarily OCD about it.

It’s the old and vulnerable part that gets to me. Nothing wrong with either state—I just don’t feel I’m there yet. So not only is the Evil Virus a physical threat, it’s messing with my self-image. I wasn’t planning on thinking of myself as old until, say, age eighty-five.

Maybe ninety. But the experts don’t agree.

Mostly, I do not want the misery of any kind of flu for my sweetheart, my family, myself, friends, or any human on the planet.

Last time I had a flu was in December 1977. It hung on into January.

There were three of us living in a townhouse with two bathrooms and six cats. For about two weeks, I primarily got out of bed only to take care of the cats. And my throat was so painful I never smoked again, which was the good news.

Today I had to make a decision: go to my balance class at the 60+ Activity Center or play it safe. In the nick of time a local online blog mentioned that the Center was now closed. Tomorrow I’m scheduled to attend a community breakfast. Do I trust that I’m not infected and sickening others by attending? How do any of us know the neighborhood cooks are robustly healthy? As someone said today, we’d have to eat six feet from one another.

The expression “we live in dangerous times” just became more meaningful. The choices I make today may impact a whole lot of other people tomorrow, and on many levels. Their decisions may do the same for me. I’m no prepper, but Mick’s potatoes will come in very handy for him and for Mary if those two big words, “national emergency” haven’t come too late.

For me, it’s back to grow bags and planters propped on the raised bed with some houseplant fertilizer and high hopes. Be well.

APRIL 2020 25

FILM

NICOLE CONN’S “MORE BEAUTIFUL FOR HAVING BEEN BROKEN” GETS WORLDWIDE DISTRIBUTION

BY MONA ELYAFI

Distribution powerhouse Vision Films has acquired the worldwide distribution rights to “More Beautiful for Having Been Broken,” the award-winning feature-length film directed by Nicole Conn.

In partnership with Vision Films, Wolfe Video will release “More Beautiful For Having Been Broken” on DVD globally, available to purchase on WolfeVideo.com (in the United States and Canada) and wherever DVDs are sold on April 7th, 2020. Bonus Material on the DVD will include the film’s trailer, four behind-the-scenes featurettes and deleted scenes.

On May 8th, 2020, “More Beautiful For Having Been Broken” will be made available digitally on all major US and Canadian cable and TVOD platforms. Also, through a special global release event for Nicole Conn fans worldwide, “More Beautiful For Having Been Broken” will be available on May 8th to purchase in all countries without restriction on TVOD and EST through WolfeOnDemand.com.

Director Nicole Conn will be standing by on Facebook and Twitter to chat with her fans globally and explain the story behind this very special film that is dear to her heart.

This is an exciting collaboration that will connect Conn’s incredibly personal and extremely touching film to global audiences in well over 100 million homes. The announcement comes on the heels of the massive success “More Beautiful For Having Been Broken” enjoyed traveling the international film festival circuit since premiering last June at Frameline. The film snatched a slew of awards including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress (Zoe Ventoura) Best Actor (Cale Ferrin) and Best Editing, and Best Original Score at Los Angeles Independent Film Festival (LAIFF), and Best Picture at LA Femme International Film Festival, White Light City FF and International Ind FF, among others.

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“More Beautiful For Having Been Broken” is a story about three broken women whose lives intersect at a lakeside community and who are forever changed through their shared love of a very special young boy with special needs. A broken FBI agent, suspended from her job and struggling with the loss of her mother, travels to the small mountain town she used to visit as a child. She is befriended by a special needs boy who possesses the extraordinary gift of healing others through his unbroken spirit and unique outlook on life. Though she is hurting, she begins to see through his eyes as the puzzle pieces fall into place.

The film is the breakout debut for 11-year-old Cale Ferrin who was diagnosed with Fanconi Anemia, a rare genetic disease that can lead to bone marrow failure and cancer and is often marked by congenital defects and short stature. It stars Australian actress, Zoë Ventoura (Home and Away, Packed to the Rafters) and Kayla Radomski of “So You Think You Can Dance” fame. Joining the stellar cast are Bruce Davison (Star Trek / X-Men), French Stewart (3rd Rock from the Sun), Brooke Elliott (Drop Dead Diva), Harley Jane Kozak (Parenthood), Gaby Christian (South of Nowhere), Kay Lenz, Wally Kurth and Gabrielle Baba-Conn (Conn’s real-life daughter) who is also making her feature debut.

A semi-autobiographical film, “More Beautiful For Having Been Broken” is very personal to Conn. The film pays homage to Conn’s daughter and in particular her son, Nicholas, who has special needs and is medically fragile.

“To say ‘More Beautiful For Having Been Broken’ is a passion project is to say climbing Mt Everest is a hike. My son, Nicholas and daughter, Gabrielle, inspire the story. I wanted to show who my son is to the world. He is extremely special needs and medically fragile.

After years of being impacted by his world and the experiences of so many other kids with special needs, moms and parents, I wanted people to understand how truly magical our kids are and what they bring to our lives and how they can be the conduit to great love and healing. I also grew weary of our kids being invisible – especially since my son, Cale and so many others who are otherly challenged are the greatest teachers in the world, about what is truly important,” says Conn.

Conn’s journey with her son has been the most intensely spiritual and greatest life education she could ever have asked for; and with this film she wants to show the beauty that comes from what most define as “broken.”

Kintsukuroi, the Japanese art of repaired pottery (“to repair with gold”) inspired the film’s title.

More than that, it is the art of understanding that the pieces

are more beautiful for having been broken. The proof of its fragility and its resilience is what makes it beautiful. Having faced serious challenges throughout this film that almost broke Conn, herself -Conn has adopted this term as a personal mantra.

“There are some films we watch that are so moving and special that they never leave us,” said Lise Romanoff, Managing Director and CEO of Vision Films. “’More Beautiful For Having Been Broken’ is one of these movies and Vision Films is honored to be part of Nicole Conn’s journey as we release the film.”

“We at Wolfe are delighted to continue our 28-year partnership with Nicole Conn in bringing audiences ‘More Beautiful For Having Been Broken,’” says Kathy Wolfe, CEO & founder at Wolfe Video. “Nicole’s fans will appreciate this most personal work of her dedicated and distinguished career as a filmmaker.” Dear friend Lissa Forehan produced the film. A group known as the “Silver Tribe” – eleven women from all over the world who are Conn’s dear friends and loyalists joined them.

A pioneering filmmaker and an iconic figure in the LGBTQ community, Nicole Conn is known not only for having paved the way for lesbian-themed cinema with her cult classic, “Claire of the Moon” as well as her acclaimed features “Elena Undone” (which boasts the longest screen kiss in cinema history) and “A Perfect Ending,” but also for queer female filmmakers.

For more info: www.morebeautifulmovie.com DVD pre-order available now on WolfeVideo.com, at: http://bit.ly/2GaIRPN and Amazon.com at: https://amzn.to/3aMqnm1

APRIL 2020 27

NEED FOOD? Californians are experiencing hardships as a result of the COVID-19 outbreak.

There are many resources in your community that can help.

Resources: Ask a neighbor, family member, or friend for help

Reach out and request assistance with grocery shopping, food delivery, or for a tutorial on using your smartphone to order food to be dropped off safely.

Apply for assistance

Contact your county social services department for resources in your area, including CalFresh food assistance and In-Home Support Services, which includes meal assistance.

Visit www.GetCalFresh.org and www.cdss.ca.gov/in-home-supportive-services to learn more.

Find local organizations offering support

Older adults can contact local senior centers or Area Agency on Aging (www.aging.ca.gov) to learn about options. You can also visit www.mealsonwheelsamerica.org for information on meal delivery in your area.

Students can check with their school district to learn about meal programs during closures.

Families can visit www.calwic.org for information on available resources.

Contact a food bank

Ask your local food bank if they have resources available for pick up or delivery to your home.

Visit www.serve.ca.gov or www.cafoodbanks.org to find one near you.

Order food for delivery via phone

Many grocery stores and restaurants provide delivery services and there are many apps available to order from your phone.

Visit serve.ca.gov

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FEED YOUR COMMUNITY CALLING ALL NEIGHBORS California’s vulnerable communities need assistance obtaining food and supplies due to the COVID-19 outbreak.

Offer to pick up items at the grocery store or pharmacy

Check in with your neighbors (text, call, or video chat) to see what they need and offer to drop supplies safely at their door. You can also offer a tutorial on how to online shop.

Know your community

Contact your county social services department to learn about available resources to share with your neighborhood.

Give a gift card

Consider purchasing a gift card to give to a neighbor in need.

Donate to a food bank

Check with your local food bank to learn about available volunteer opportunities and to see what items are needed most. Visit cafoodbanks.org to find a food bank near you.

Connect using social networks

Social media can bring people together in support of a community. Utilize apps such as Nextdoor to connect with those around you and see if anyone needs help.

Shop smart

Buy what you need and leave enough for others. This provides everyone the opportunity to get the items they need. Support local business if you can.

Be Safe

Most importantly, remember to follow the California Department of Public Health’s guidelines. Visit covid19.ca.gov for more information.

Visit serve.ca.gov

Visit serve.ca.gov APRIL 2020 29

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BOOK REVIEW

ALWAYS OVERBOOKED

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

Like father, like son.

When you were small, people said you looked just like your dad. As you grew up, they said you had his sense of humor or his temper, you laughed alike, you walked alike. Today, you may be close or you may have a chasm of miles or emotion between you, but as in the new book “Gay Like Me” by Richie Jackson, you’re a lot more like Dad than you think.

From the time he was small, Richie Jackson knew two things: he “felt lucky to be gay,” and he wanted to be a father someday.

“Everything good that has happened to me is because I am gay,” he says – and that includes the birth of his son, born to a surrogate when Jackson was in his thirties. Since then, in the meantime, the sentiment has surely doubled since Jackson’s son came out as gay.

That was his “greatest wish for” his son, that he know the joy of being gay because it’s “a gift.” Says Jackson, he is “thrilled for the flight ahead of you” and “wary of the fight ahead of you” because wonderful things could happen but vigilance is required, and the knowledge that pain sometimes comes from people you didn’t think would hurt you.

Still, Jackson is excited for his son, who is college-age now and who grew up at a time when AIDS isn’t a death sentence, hiding isn’t mandatory, and so many large battles have already been fought by people at Stonewall, in the military, in marriage equality, and in everyday life. These things give Jackson hope as he launches his eldest son in the world as a gay man, but he has advice….

Know who you are, he counsels, and “never diminish your essence.” Know the heroes who went before you. Never let your sexuality shame you and never use it to shame others. Know your partner’s HIV status in advance. Don’t fall into the same drugs-andalcohol trap that’s ensnared so many other gay men. And “vote as if your life depends on it, because it does.”

Is there a modern teenager in the world who takes his father’s advice? Perhaps not, but if he’s a gay young man, he might still be glad to have “Gay Like Me.” Written with enthusiasm and gratitude, author Richie Jackson also displays a lot of loving steel hidden in the things he wants his son to know. His advice is fierce, but tempered with the kind of acquired fear that traumatically becomes a part of one’s DNA. In the sweetest of dad-tones, he’s honest, using a please-don’t-do-as-I-did warning, heavy on the “please.” He doesn’t just write words to his son, but he

penned them about his son, and they’re caressing, but difficult, words that aren’t only for the sake of, or aimed at, one specific, specifically young man.

You don’t, in other words, have to be young or gay or even a man to enjoy “Gay Like Me.” Mothers of gay teens will want it, fathers and sons alike.

“Gay Like Me: A Father Writes to His Son” by Richie Jackson c.2020, Harper / $24.99 / $31.00 Canada / 163 pages

APRIL 2020 31

BEATBOX

NEW MUSIC TO ADD TO YOUR QUARANTINE PLAYLIST

BY JIMMY NEWSUM

From the moment the prospect of quarantining became reality, coronavirus/quarantine/COVID-19 playlists began popping u Here are a few tracks worth adding from some of our favorite out artists.

“NO LOVE” Jay Maq Most of the topics that Jay Maq explores in his music have to do with grown-and-sexy love. From longing for it, healing after being used by it or wasting it on someone who doesn’t want it. In “No Love,” his chilled island, dancehall track, he questions whether or not it is a crime to break someone’s heart. It’s a smooth, emotional and coy ballad; reminiscent of Monica, Ashanti and Toni Braxton. Its music video is also a must-see. It depicts Jay Maq being arrested for a love crime and forced to go through the judicial system. Though intended to be humorous, there is a serious side to it, too, as the video parallels the harsh reality faced by men of color who are unfairly imprisoned for non-violent offences.

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“AMERICAN NIGHTMARE” Justin Utley Justin Utley unleashes his inner Nine Inch Nails in “American Nightmare,” his angst-ridden Industrial rock anthem that takes aim at conversion therapy, and the current state of our union’s blind allegiance with political parties and religion. It’s a different sound for the young singer who first rose to prominence in the alt-country pop realm with songs like “Stand for Something,” winner of Best Country/Folk Song of the year by the LGBT Academy of Recording Arts. Utley admits he has been wanting to explore the edgier side of himself and he does so in this track. The loud-soft dynamics serve as barbed hooks, drawing listeners into Utley’s world. The lyrics are personal, opaque, and dark. The guitars are loud and aggressive. The music video is captivating with Utley shining as an anti-authoritarian punk artist with a gentle soul and smoking body.

up on Spotify. Some are pretty good and a few are very well thought out, but most are full of top 40 hits and mainstream staples.

FOR YOU: PART 3 Jack Tracy At long last, Jack Tracy has released the final part of his epic trilogy album, showcasing a wide slice of the LGBTQ perspective.

Part 1 was bold and brassy, Part 2 was thematically heavy, tackling subjects like body image and the legitimacy of gay sex work. Part 3 is the wind down, full of bedroom jams that all stem from love.

There is “Some Type of Way,” an intoxicating and explicit love song that doesn’t shy away from mature gay themes; “Learned Me (With You),” about a first sexual experience; “For You,” a love song to Jack’s inner child; and “Insatiable,” a no-holds barred erotic track.

Be sure to check out the video for “Insatiable,” where Jack gets slutty and butty. This is an exceptional final chapter of work from an artist that we expect to see a lot more from, both musically and bodily.

“OTHER SIDE” Michael Fairman This superior-crafted mid-tempo pop/soul track about the personal and physical struggles of ageism, and finding the innerstrength to triumph, may be the song that helps Fairman achieve the lofty goals he has long been after. Written by the artist along with his long-time engineer and producer, Kyle Mangels, “Other Side” is a beautiful piece of work, highly emotive, where the singer takes a page from Lukas Graham, recalling his hopes, his failures and his dreams. The vocals are stellar. The orchestrations are lush with a strong melodic sense. The relatable and optimistic message is wonderfully encouraging to anyone who has ever felt alone and disconnected – as many of us in quarantine are feeling now.

APRIL 2020 33

FITNESS

HELLO WORLD. HOW ARE YOU? DID YOU TEST POSITIVE? MAN, IS THIS HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF?

BY JILL LANGHAM

As of this moment, I haven’t been tested but, I just spent the last 9 days in bed. I am finally up, showered and dressed, many firsts I might add, since I contracted whatever it was I had. Do I think I had COVID-19? I have no idea, but I did have the following symptoms.

It started with the chills, then an achy body, followed by a short lasting fever of 100.6, then, ear aches; sinus congestion; sneezing; coughing; spitting up white to yellowish colored phlegm; no appetite; a 5-pound weight loss and listlessness, to name a few.

I was in my own world of isolation and quarantine.

When it first started, I was very naïve and had no understanding of the differences between a human-to-human virus and an animal-tohuman virus. I know a lot more now, that’s for sure. I’m embarrassed to admit that one of my clients told me about this “pandemic”in January, but I was too happy in my own little bubble that I did not heed his warnings. Shame on me! I let it pass right through my brain and even talked myself out of contacting my broker to get me out of the market. ( Yep, and its not the first time either) Shame on me, again.

So being naïve, I wrote a long post on Facebook about how critical it was for us to re-think unsafe practices in general and especially in the gym, which are known to be ‘dirty or unclean’, by nature of what they are.

However, if I’m being really honest I will admit that in the 45 years that I have been going to gyms, I have rarely used a towel on the equipment nor made it mandatory for my clients. Just writing this makes me feel sick, but it’s the sad truth. I have hyperthyroidism and for years never sweat so I truly never thought about passing on germs and luckily never got a fungus, or rash, or MRSA infection so I guess I wanted to believe that all was good. Also, no one ever used towels in the places that I worked out way back then and old habits

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are hard to break. Yes, I’m done defending myself…

This made me realize that “I” needed to re-consider my own practices to cut down on spreading any germ, let alone flu’s and viruses. Was I washing my hands between each client? Was I washing my hands before and after working out? Was I using a towel that had a pattern or a towel label on it so that I could always have the dirty side down? Did take my towel home each time and wash it?

Was I washing my gym clothes (don’t forget your gloves), after each use (even if I didn’t sweat, LOL) to avoid bringing those germs into my house? Was I stripping down in the laundry room once I got home or was I sitting in my kitchen or on my bed etc? Yes, it gets that serious especially right now.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been at the gym and seen a member, who was using the treadmill, which sits on the top row of the cardio equipment where there is a free standing fan blowing behind him, sneeze and watch the airborne droplets spread across the gym!

It makes me cringe just thinking about it! We have to do everything in our power to stop the spread of germs through our mouths and noses and sneezing and coughing are the worst!

Needless to say, but kissing on the lips as a way to greet acquaintances has to stop. Pre-quarantine I was talking to someone at Oscar’s, reminding myself to keep my hands off my face and elbow bumping to say hello, when he spittled on my lip! Yikes, I thought, what do I do now? I guess that’s what the social distancing is all about.

I guess we’ve all gone a little too far when it comes to the types of social interactions we engage in or practice. It all made so much sense that the gay community used bars, parks, bathhouses, locker rooms, steam rooms, as the main way to connect with like-minded, same-sex guys. I mean where else could you go? But those times are behind us and now there are plenty of resorts to go to where hopefully because they are expecting close behavior they can plan better and can be safer.

But, I still worry about the bars and the strippers. Sweaty men and women spinning around on a bar top, with most of their derrières exposed, let alone their street shoes on the bar tops is one thing. Combine that with where the dollar bills are stuffed and swiped makes me never want to touch a dollar bill again! Are any of these practices going to change, I wonder? And all of these things apply to straight venues like bars, clubs, sex clubs, locker rooms and strip clubs, etc. as well. Will we learn from this situation or by years end will be right back to our old habits?

I worry about our community because so many of you already have compromised immune systems. Being on Grindr right now doesn’t sound like a very healthy choice. This is not me shaming any of your choices or proclivities but rather suggesting that now is not the time, especially for those who PnP. Adding in drug use lowers our resistance even more and makes saying “no” a lot harder, putting you at an even higher risk Let’s hope once was enough, if not I think we could be headed for a tragic repeat of the 80’s. Please say “No, not this time!”

We need each and every one of you!

On a final note, I’m blessed to have so many men feel close enough to me to share with me their desires to have more intimate relationships. Maybe with this new built in social distancing, we will have more intimacy down the road and instead of giving up all the goods during a first superficial meeting we will let the intimacy build.

I think a great many of us could all benefit from taking things slower, being more considerate of one another and allow some mystery and intrigue to naturally build in our relationships which, used to be a lot of fun back in the day. Try it, you just might like it.

Please stay safe and healthy.

With love, Your “Stay at Home”, Dancing Queen

APRIL 2020 35

TRANSCENDENCE

PANDEM(IC)ONIUM

BY CHRISTINA VRONAY RUGGLES

I’m a young person. I’ve made that clear over a number of pieces. A lot of things are new to me. Global recessions. Global outbreaks. The experience of widespread malaise entering my community’s collective consciousness.

As a young queer person, alongside many other young queer people, I “missed out” on the AIDs crisis. It’s not an event instilled in my memory. I know it happened. I know things like the AIDs quilt happened. I know many died. I couldn’t tell you the figures. I know how it spreads, vaguely. Because it’s not some existential and constant threat to me and mine.

However, I’ve also recently become good friends with someone who I can comfortably call a queer elder. They’re not just a queer person who’s older than me. But they’re someone who has been through history. Been through the experiences and questions and

36 THESTANDARDPS.COM

torments and joys of being part of the queer family. And they’re very down to share those experiences.

They’ve opened up about their own experiences with the AIDs crisis. How she comforted her wife who volunteered at an AIDs hospice. How the deaths eroded her. She doesn’t tell me these things lightly. There’s always a seriousness that preludes these glimpses into her oral history.

These are treasured moments for me, steeped in sorrow and passion. Dripping with reverence.

I’ve begun thinking of them more frequently as of late.

As the government, at best, blunders its way through a global pandemic that threatens to wipe out large portions of the global population. A population that they deem…expendable, for a lack of a better word. If the queers were expendable for God, why not

the poor and the elderly for the markets, says the Government.

In times like these, solidarity within our communities is what is needed, and that’s why organizations like the AAP-Food Samaritans are so important.

Now, in full disclosure, this is the first I’ve heard of them. Though, I blame myself for being an oblivious turtle-hermit, more than I blame any organization’s outreach efforts.

And while I may be simply a columnist, that doesn’t mean I don’t have to do research on things I’m writing on.

Researching the AAP-Food Samaritans was a learning experience. It’s depressing that the government isn’t better serving the needs of its citizens—however that’s not new—but it’s heartwarming that, as a community, queer people seek and have sought to provide for those in need.

As toilet paper, beans, and other basic dietary building blocks drift away into the carts and hands of greedy, over-panicked hoarders who seek only to enrich themselves, it’s been helpful—for me at least—to think of those harder hit by this contagion. While I may have immunocompromised friends, I do not live with them. I do not have elderly housemates. I do not live with or as a vulnerable person.

I know I’m lucky. It can be strange to be in this storm’s eye of privilege. Seeing all those who have legitimate panic in their hearts and eyes scramble for their needs, as I sit, mostly unperturbed by it all. Is this what lesbian AIDs hospice nurses felt? Did they know they were safe from the disease? Did they do it, not knowing whether today or tomorrow, or yesterday would be the day they caught it?

They were much more in the thick of it, of course. I’m not on the frontlines of this disease. I’m not a doctor or anything like that and I never will be—please don’t ask me to do any more schooling—and that’s something I’m ok. Today, I get to do the bare minimum, and stay inside. That’s how I’ll save lives.

Maybe I’ll donate to AAP-Food Samaritans, when I have a steady income once more, and maybe I’ll ask those of you who can, to donate as well.

Coronavirus will fade. Hopefully without a pile of corpses in its wake. But AIDs and its victims are here for a little while longer, and they still need our help, our community, our solidarity.

More than anything we all need solidarity.

Solidarity like the AAP-Food Samaritans.

Please, stay safe out there.

WHAT WE DO: • Daily hot nutritious meal to over 135 people a day, 6 days a week.

• Sack lunches daily –over 1200 a week served.

• Phone and mail service.

• Morning coffee, rolls and fruit.

• Showers daily.

• Furniture for people in need.

• Clothing for job interviews and those who need them.

• Assistance with food stamps, MISP, id’s and more.

• Utility assistance.

• Rental assistance.

• Free notary service.

• Resume writing assistance.

• One way tickets home.

• Saturday food distribution of healthy foods to working families, seniors, veterans, the disabled, families with children.

• Emergency food boxes.

• Some transportation to medical and social service appointments.

• Van transportation to hot lunch sites.

• Home deliveries to seniors who are homebound or frail.

• “Well Assist” program to downtown merchants and other business owners.

• Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations for all in need. Christmas presents for all the children.

• Well houses available for long-term group family living, and emergenies.

• A family-friendly environment where all can feel welcome, cared about, and respected.

APRIL 2020 37

ALWAYS OVERBOOKED

QUARANTINE BOOKS

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

Hunker down.

That’s what you’ll be doing for the immediate future: trying to stay well or get well or just waiting. You’ve had enough TV and the pantry’s as clean as it’ll ever get, so maybe it’s time to find something to read. Why not try one of these great books.....

FICTION If you’re a fan of unusual thrillers, look for “Please See Us” by Caitlin Mullen. It’s the story of two dead women who have not yet been found in their marshy grave. But they know what’s going on, and they know they won’t be alone for long. Oh, and they know who killed them. Also, thriller fans, get “Journey of the Pharaohs” by the late Clive Cussler and Graham Brown. If you’ve ever read a Cussler book, you know what you’re in for!

NON-FICTION Music fans will love hunkering down with “The Beatles from A to

38 THESTANDARDPS.COM

Zed” by Peter Asher. It’s an easy-breezy book on the Fab Four, but indirectly – which means you’ll get some little-discussed, little-known tales that fans will need to know. Here’s another book that’s perfect for the music fan: “She Can Really Lay It Down” by Rachel Frankel, a book about music’s female rebels and rockers. Or look for “1973: Rock at the Crossroads” by Andrew Grant Jackson, a book that’s part history, part music history, and all perfect nostalgia.

Hang on to hope that this will be over soon, but reading “Nomad: Designing a Home for Escape and Adventure” by Emma Reddington. This heavy, beautiful book is filled with ideas for the person who wants to convert a bus, van, or boat into a permanent living space that’s movable. You can dream, can’t you?

If you’re thinking that now’s the time to consider a good break and a new business, “Discipline Strategy” by Timothy L. Coomer, PhD is a worthwhile read and a good place to start. It’s about decision-making, goal setting, and doing the best work you can offer to your customers.

Sports fans, there’s no doubt that you’re feeling bereft without

SPECIAL

EDITION

your favorite team on TV, so why not pick up a sports book instead?

One like “Games of Deception” by Andrew Maraniss. It’s the tale of Nazi Germany, World War, and the United States’ first Olympic basketball team. Another book for the sports fan is “The Eighth Wonder of the World: The True Story of André the Giant:” by Bertrand Hébert and Pat LaPrade. It’s a tale of wrestling, and the real man who made it fun to watch.

If this quarantine is compounded by loss, look for “Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief” by David Kessler. It’s a book for healing that takes things just one step beyond old, conventional grieving. If you’re already tired of the same old meals, look for “Meals, Music, and Muses: Recipes from My African American Kitchen” by Alexander Smalls. There’s really only one thing you can say about it: yum.

TRUE CRIME Here’s one to whet your True Crime whistle: “Assassinations: The Plots, Politics, and powers Behind History-Changing Murders” by Nick Redfern. The title says it all... except “you’ll like it.” Another book you’ll like: “The Third Rainbow Girl: The Long Life of a Double Murder in Appalachia” by Emma Copley Eisenberg, the story of a crime that impacted an entire geographical area.

And if you’ve always wondered how crime-fighters do their work, then look for “American Sherlock: Murder, Forensics, and the Birth of American CSI” by Kate Winkler Dawson. It’s a book about the man who helped set the stage for the way forensics is done, even today – and that includes the things he got all wrong.

WOMEN’S STUDIES Who doesn’t want the most fabulous life ever? If that describes you but you think you’re “too old,” then read “A Woman Makes a Plan” by Maye Musk. It’s a book of advice, but also a bio by a woman who’s had an interesting life and is willing to share it. Hint: speaking of share, it’s a great story to share across the ages.

If you’re the type of person who likes light, short reading, try “The American Women’s Almanac: 500 Years of Making History” by Deborah G. Felder. This book is full of short biographies of women who changed history, and how they did it. Read it yourself – and share it with your teenager.

HISTORY If you’re looking for something empowering while you’re stuck at home, try “Mighty Justice: My Life in Civil Rights” by Dovey Johnson Roundtree and Katie McCabe. During the Civil Rights Movement, Roundtree was an attorney who not only helped her clients but also took on a racist system in North Carolina and nationally.

You might not find “The Rise and Fall of Charles Lindbergh”

by Candace Fleming in the adult biography section of your library or bookstore. You may find it in the Young Adult section, but that doesn’t mean this book is just for teens. Adults will thrill to the story of Lindburgh, his feats and accomplishments, his life and tragedy, and the beliefs he held that tarnish his legacy today.

World War II buffs will thoroughly enjoy reading “Inge’s War” by Svenja O’Donnell. It’s the story of a story that O’Donnell learned as an adult, when she reached out to her grandmother and discovered family secrets, triumphs, and villainy.

Speed demons in need of a little zoom will want to find “Faster”

by Neal Bascomb, a book about a racecar driver who was the victim of racism; an automaker who was the victim of financial mayhem, and an heiress who dreamed of her youth. Add in a bit of history, Nazi Germany, and a fast-paced story and really: how can you resist?

LGBTQ STUDIES Okay, so you’re up for something very unique now, and you can’t go wrong with “Uncomfortable Labels” by Laura Kate Dale.

What makes it different is that Dale is a gay trans woman who is also autistic and this book is about her self-discovery and her life.

Here’s a book for parents, and for transgender readers: “What We Will Become” by Mimi Lemay, a story of little girl who knew she was a boy, and his mother, an ultra-Orthodox Jew who loved her child enough to give up her old life.

Maybe when this is all over, a bit of poetry is what you’ll need, and “Daddy” by Michael Montlack will be what to look for at the end of this virus’ run. Some of the poems are musings, some are heartfelt, others read a bit like individual paragraphs, all are compelling. You’ll find “Daddy” available in later April.

APRIL 2020 39

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HARVEY MILK C O A C H E L L A VA L L E Y

DIVERSITY BREAKFAST

JULY 11 NEW SATURDAY, 8:3O am | Coffee Welcome & Breakfast -11 am | Program DATE! 9:3O Palm Springs Convention Center The Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast Coalition invites you to join us.

This event brings together all who support equality and social justice in celebration of this influential civil rights activist.

•TABLE SALES NOW OPEN For details & information about •TICKETS AVAILABLE ONLINE sponsorship contact RON DEHARTE •SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES 760.416.8700 or Ron@pspride.org Go to www.Bit.Ly/MILK2020 ACCESSIBILITY: This event is accessible for persons with visual, hearing and mobility impairments.

FEATURING

Harvey Milk Legacy Award Honoree

ANNISE PARKER Former Mayor of Houston SPONSORS

Parker won a seat on the Houston City Council in 1997, becoming Houston’s first openly gay official, and was re-elected for two consecutive years. In 2003, she was elected City Controller and was also re-elected for two consecutive terms. In 2010, Time Magazine named Parker one of the 100 most influential people in the world. Parker is the current president and CEO of the LGBTQ Victory Fund and Victory Institute.

SILVER SPONSORS

GOLD SPONSOR

Boyd & Lisette Haigler HERITAGE LEGAL

BRONZE SPONSORS

MEDIA SPONSORS

TABLE SPONSORS

Bloom in the Desert Ministries UCC, Boo2Bullying, City of Coachella, Democratic Headquarters of the Desert, Desert Business Association, Desert Stonewall Democrats #1 & #2, Eisenhower Health, Human Rights Campaign, Kate Ullman #1 & #2, Modern Men Coachella Valley Men’s Chorus, Nolan Madson, Palm Springs Chamber of Commerce, Palm Springs Dental Practice, Palm Springs Gay Men’s Chorus, Palm Springs High School, Planned Parenthood of the Pacific Southwest, Planning Ahead for LGBTQ Seniors (PALS), Randy Steele & Erin Driscoll, Stonewall Gardens, The LGBT Community Center of the Desert, Unitarian Universalist Church of the Desert, United Methodist Church of Palm Springs, Tim Wood & Jim Scheibel/Shawn & Ray Culver-Williams

STUDENT TEAM SPONSORS

Al Jones, Boyd & Lisette Haigler #1 & #2, City of Palm Springs Human Rights Commission, Compass Rose Financial Planning, Desert Business Association, Desert Oasis Healthcare, Grace Helen Spearman Charitable Foundation, Human Rights Campaign, The LGBT Community Center of the Desert, Mark Duebner Design, Morgan Stanley, Palm Springs Gay Men’s Chorus, PFLAG Palm Springs Desert Cities, The Standard Magazine, Western Wind Foundation, William Wheeler (Sponsor list as of March 27, 2020)

BE A PART OF THIS ESSENTIAL COMMUNITY EVENT! APRIL 2020 51 Proceeds benefit Coachella Valley youth through Gay-Straight Alliance clubs and LGBTQ youth-related programs.

52 THESTANDARDPS.COM