ESCAPE TIGER

ILLUSTRATION GET ME OUR OF HERE I’M NOT DOING THIS AGAIN, Graphic Resigner (with rizz)

Other anonymous students have reportedly seen Gill fully suited-up leaving campus in her car, decorated with provocative bumper stickers that say things like “revenge is a dish best served cold” and “Bernie 2020”. One anonymous staff member claimed to see a faded “Il Futuro è Femmina” tattoo on her left wrist, which most likely has a dangerous, mob-related significance.

Nonetheless, Gill has fought these allegations since they were brought to her attention:

“I trusted you, I welcomed you into my class, we broke bread together, you ate a cannoli. And you disrespect me with these rumors? I’m a gangsta, I’ll tell you that much, and sure, I fell in love with a gangsta, too. Maybe I enjoy a good gamble, maybe I disappear sometimes – that’s my business. But I always tell the truth, even when I lie.”

Gill has no intention of changing the way she lives her life and the way she guides her students despite all of the evidence that has recently come up concerning her free time. In light of this she said, “I’m never going to stop being grateful – every day above ground is a good day. But we’ve all done things we want to forget. I’ll tell you one thing: you don’t make up for your sins in church, you do it in the streets. Appreciate what you got, keep your friends close, and keep your enemies closer.”

The only thing in this world that gives orders is shawls.

Tiger’s Class Pet:

ILLUSTRATION WYLAN VAN SUNSHINE, *when your bf kisses the wrong dude*

The Toe

ESTABLISHED 1219 B.C.

MARENGO TRACK MEET 3923

I WAS BORN IN 1984

THE OSCARS BUT BETTER 2018

HOTTEST NEWSPAPER 2017

CHARLOTTE IS A GOD 2006

SWIFT CITY FOR SURE 1989

KARMA IS MY BOYFRIEND 2014 DON’T HELP ME 2013 PLEASE HELP ME 2162

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

KAMALA HARRIS, solving America’s problems through venn diagram’s

MANAGING EDITORS

PSYcho, #gangnamstyle gay son or th*t daughter, caleb and me core

NEWS

Leonardo Dicaprio, on the prowl Snow on the beach, red like a hypothermic crab

OPINION

George Santos, My Jew-ish King and Drag

Queen

RIZZILY RICKROLLING TO RICKY, my heart is buried in marinara

FEATURE

PSYcho, #gangnamstyle gay son or th*t daughter?, caleb and me core

Kazzle dazzle, she’s an investment

SPORTS

Offset, Best Migo

*maniacal cackling, [insert inside joke here]

DESIGN boots with the fur, Uggs DUPE

Wylan Van Sunshine, *when your bf kisses the wrong dude*

Nina Zenik is wife, she can render my heart anytime ;)

PHOTOGRAPHY poma-grenade, BOOM

Snoopy, Currently learning how to surf

COPY

Leonardo Dicaprio, on the prowl dora, exploring the limits of stress

STAFF WRITERS

Tiger’s resident Cutie, Mostest juiciest Vladimir Putitin, philanthropist he loves my heart-shaped sunglasses (i’m delusional and he’s straight), your dad’s favorite discord kitten

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Woodstock, Dog surfing instructor

Wylan Van Sunshine, *when your bf kisses the wrong dude*

ILLUSTRATORS

Him, Professional Cloud Maker Japan Lee

GRAPHIC RESIGNER GET ME OUT OF HERE IM NOT DOING THIS AGAIN, (with rizz)

BUSINESS AND ADS

Thing 2, the one who goes along with the most basic halloween costume

Thing 1, the most basic halloween costume

Him, Professional Cloud Maker

CONTRIBUTOR

SAM GROTENSTEIN, Editor-in-Chief

FACULTY ADVISOR

Game Changer, The only way to learn is by playing

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