Good Kid vs Bad Kid

If you’ve ever watched a cliché American High School movie, you’ve seen it. You get the jocks and the nerds, the barbie-dolls and the goths, the witbroodjies and the rebels. And although in real life the social ‘classes’ aren’t set in concrete like they are in Mean Girls, many of us have received labels that distinguish us as a certain ‘type’. “Oh, don’t let her hear, she’s a pliggie.” “Yeah, he stole his dad’s car this weekend; he’s one of those guys.”

Such labels can be irritating, to say the least. They create the assumption that you are a certain type of person, and that certain type only, when in reality, you’re not. Just because she doesn’t talk much and always does her homework, doesn’t mean she doesn’t secretly have a dark sense of humour and a pair of Ray Bans™. And just because he likes to be a bit of a daredevil, doesn’t mean he doesn’t work his hardest at school to get into a good university. Now this emotional stuff is all well and good, but no matter how many times people tell society not to label others, they still do it – and labels stick. It will take much more than just a strong word from a Circum Journalist to change others’ opinions. So, let’s abandon the hackneyed ‘it doesn’t matter what they think’ philosophy, and get down to some real, constructive advice – how to strategically influence what others think of you.

Pliggie to Tough-Guy

You’re the kid who everyone teases for being ‘too good’, ‘too dedicated’ or ‘too boring’, and you’re more than fed up with it. Have you decided to shake things up a bit? This section’s for you.

1. Eyeliner it up. Nothing shows ‘don’t mess with me’ than waaay too much eyeliner. If you show up at school with black warning signs painted around your eyes, those stereotyping naysayers will have to look twice.

2. Dye your hair. It may seem cliché, but really, it works. Either black or totally blond will make a huge impression without making you look like a circus freak. A hair change is a huge step towards an opinion change.

3. Join a kickboxing club. When people ask you about your black eye or your broken arm, you can say, “You should’ve seen the other guy,” and mean it.

4. Start going to the gym. If you don’t have time for kickboxing, an alternative is to get ripped. No-one’s first thought when looking at someone’s amazing muscles is ‘they sure study a lot.’

Nightclubber to Bookworm

You love to kuier, but your grades (and your reputation among the elderly) is suffering for it. Want to make a good impression? See the steps below.

1. Drop some jaws. Put up your hand in class and ask a super complicated, intellectual question. If the teacher can’t answer it, all the better. This trick will definitely turn some heads…assuming you sit near the back of the class.

2. Beat the ‘smart kid’ in a test. Either study really, really hard, or…well…borrow…the smart kid’s school bag. It may be cruel, but this is your social image we’re talking about! What could be more important?

3. Get a pair of glasses. Glass glasses (or just glass-es…geddit?) will do the trick too.

4. Read. Or at least pretend to. Get caught frowning deeply at a Jane Austin or Leo Tolstoy novel, and those who once thought you cared nothing for the higher arts will be proven much erroneous.

5. Use fancy words. That’s sure to leave people dumbfounded and flabbergasted. Here are a few:

Egregious – outstandingly bad

Capricious – moody

Rapacious – extremely greedy

Cacophony – a loud noise

There you have it. Simple tips and tricks playing on people’s stereotypes in order to defeat their stereotypes. Using fire to fight fire - a genius ploy if ever there was one. And what’s best about it – it doesn’t cause any permanent damage! Hair can be re-dyed, and stolen book-bags returned! And if you change your mind, you can turn back at any time, and people will label it as an identity crisis (which it is, if you think about it) and forget all about it (hopefully…probably not).

If these changes don’t affect the generalpublic’s view on your social classification, nothingwill. Give it up. Just be yourself!

By Simone Botha

Photos by Miché Wium