Pseudo Science: Which sport is number 1

With Worcester Gymnasium’s winter sports season in full swing, the ongoing battle of the sports continues. Why are some sports more supported than others? Why do some have more injuries? And, most importantly, what is the science behind all of this? Your local scientist here at the Circum has answered all the questions, WITH SCIENCE!

In this investigation, we must first establish what is considered a sport. By definition, a sport is any activity involving physical exertion and skill. This can range from playing firstteam rugby to hurriedly copying homework while the teacher isn’t checking!

EVIDENCE #1 INJURIES

It’s inevitable that sports will result in injuries, with that being said, when is it too much? Hockey is probably one of the most dangerous sports out there. It’s the only sport where you can possibly lose a tooth! It’s quite odd that the most dangerous winter sport in school is also unisex.

It’s a well-known fact that rugby players probably have the most endurance. Either that or the coaches are trying to kill their players. It’s been noted that sometimes players play while bleeding out their skull. It seems that the ‘toughest’ sport out there follows the most basic of theatre terms: “The show must go on”.

If you want to keep it nice and safe, chess is the way to go, you might sprain a brain muscle, but all in all, chess is the safest way to go.

EVIDENCE #2 BRAINS BEFORE BRAWN

All sports require some sort of intellect, some more than others. With every sport, you need brain power, but let’s be honest here. I don't think you need a PhD to be able to kick a ball around. It doesn't take Einstein to figure out how to get a ball through a hoop in netball. Chess, however, definitely uses a lot of your brain power.

Legend says the moment to put on a chess badge your IQ increases to 200! Seems legit.

EVIDENCE #3 SKILLS

Skill is a very important aspect of sport. We wouldn’t have sports if we didn't have skill. This means different sports require different levels of skill.

Many people spend years mastering the perfect kick for posts, while others can play netball without any effort. There are many skills that a person must master: The skill of mastering dribbling a hockey ball around your opponents, the skill of deathstaring your chess opponent, the skill of bending the rules without conceding a penalty, the skill of copying down an essay question when you forgot your homework! And so forth...

EVIDENCE #4 LET’S GET PHYSICAL

Even though you might work up a sweat while playing chess, concerning physical effort hockey definitely uses the most effort. The astro and the field are big areas. Since hockey is much faster than rugby, hockey requires a greater effort.

The final results:

CHESS Brain Power used: IQ 200 Dangers: Being considered too smart Things to remember: Try not to correct everyone

NETBALL Brain power used: IQ 100 Dangers: May be accused of being too simple Things to remember: Always always always listen to Miss Sherriff.

HOCKEY Brain Power used: IQ 115 Dangers: Might lose a tooth Things to remember: You will get a weird leg tan, beware.

RUGBY Brain Power used: IQ -10 Dangers: Death or other debilitating injuries Things to remember: Try not to die out there.

This results of this research are inconclusive. Sports are a subjective matter to the person paying it. Just like Worcester Gymnasium is proudly multicultural, our sports have many differences, but it all boils down to the same thing, having healthy fun. Sometimes we get so caught up in all the fuss, we forget the whole purpose of playing sports. Sports is about enjoying yourself and making memories! So whether you are playing for the first team rugby or playing chess in the library, the importance is that you enjoy it. Win, lose or draw.

By Zoë Hendricks