‘A guy who doesn’t fight back when others push him around is weak.’ Over a half got that message and a third agreed with it.
compared to progressive men wrestling with the dilemmas and uncertainties of the changes in society, which are clearly and rightfully occurring.
‘Guys should act strong even if they feel scared or nervous inside.’ This was the most internalised Man Box rule with seventy percent getting this message, and a half of men agreed with it. I think in terms of mental health, this ‘man rule’ is really unhelpful.
That is what the research is saying, what about the views of writers and creative thinkers on masculinity? At the Biddle House Supper three weeks ago Mr Stansbie spoke about the views on masculinity of the Australian author Tim Winton who has written Cloud Street, and more recently Breath and The Shepherds Hut.
‘It is not good for a boy to be taught how to cook, sew, clean the house or take care of younger children.’ Better news here with only thirty eight percent getting that message, but unfortunately a quarter of young men agreeing. ‘If a guy has a girlfriend or wife, he deserves to know where she is all the time.’ Nearly half got that message and a third agreed with it. Again, this is a worry as this ‘control issue’ is clearly a risk factor for partner violence. The good news is that the majority of young men had personal views that did not agree with the Man Box rules. The bad news is around a quarter to a third of young men live predominantly within The Man Box. The other concern is that the progressive two thirds of young men would definitely include some young men who may not believe in the Man Box rules but, in the company of other men, go along with the rules. The study found the results from Australia were consistent with similar studies in the US, UK and Mexico. Men following the Man Rules fared more poorly on a range of mental health, self harm, risk taking and wellbeing measures. So something about adhering to the traditional male norms of toughness, invulnerability, self-sufficiency and acting strong when they don’t feel it, is clearly harming men; mentally and physically. Those living the Act Like A Man rules had twice the number of thoughts of self harm, and a greater chance of being the victim or perpetrator of violence, including violence against women. Interestingly, the study indicates that men following the man rules have higher life satisfaction scores than progressive men who are going against the Man Rule message society puts out. Probably, following the Man Rules gives a degree of certainty about life, 4
SOUTHPORTONIAN
A keen observer of human nature, Winton laments certain flawed aspects of masculinity, saying … “some boys… because of neglect or indulgence…learn to be bad ...I don't think it's necessarily innate. They are sort of enlisted in the army of misogyny (prejudice against women) … had the tenderness squeezed out of them… Boys and young men are so routinely expected to betray their better natures … to renounce the best of themselves and submit to something low and mean. As if there’s only one way of being a bloke … Especially the stuff they feel entitled or obliged to say about girls and women… there is a script there. It was almost as if they were rehearsing what they thought a real man should be like. That ‘script’, the abiding notion of men as invulnerable, flinty, emotionally distant, is destructive…, a kind of prison where the best parts of boys the sensitive parts, the nurturing parts go to die. It's so impoverishing… these kids are... rehearsing their masculinity. And wordlessly looking for cues the whole time. … but the feedback they get is so damn unhelpful… Because good men don’t always stick their necks out and make an effort…" says Tim Winton. BIOLOGICAL ELEMENTS OF MASCULINITY
Tim Winton thinks flawed masculinity is learned. I think that is partly true but I think it also comes from our evolutionary past. Enter the monkey brain. The excitement, socialising pecking order driven, fight or flight, primitive part of our brain. Harvard biological anthropologist Richard Wrangham argues that men are the product of millions of years of evolutionary selection for aggression, right back to our primate ancestors.
Wrangham describes our close primate relatives, chimpanzees, as quite violent, conducting aggressive border patrols, fighting over territory, forming small raiding parties that go to war with neighbouring gangs, and are concerned about ‘alpha’ male pecking order status. Sounds like some Year 5 to 9 TSS boys if left unsupervised, and it also describes a large number of male politicians. And it probably tells us why peace between nation gangs, in the Middle East for example, is difficult. If that is not enough of a primitive predisposition for we males to try to control with our prefrontal cortex, we also have testosterone which Wrangham reminds us is linked to a desire to compete. When we win, males get a dopamine boost (a reward and motivational neurotransmitter) and a surge of testosterone which makes us want to keep on competing. MAN UP AT TSS
So, what are some of the things we are doing about all this? Chapels and assemblies bring these issues to the boys’ attention, and teach them to tap into their ‘ethical, reasoning, higher order cerebral cortex.’ As another part of the solution, we have for the past two years enlisted the help of the Australian program Man Up. Man Up was started by radio personality Gus Worland after losing one of his mates and coming to the conclusion that his mate, and many men, choose to take their own life, rather than appear weak by asking for help. Women are much more likely to take action and talk to someone. Gus Worland and the Man Up website says … “Harden up. Suck it up. Man up. We’ve been telling our men this for years, but it is not healthy… At under eights footy matches all over the country you still regularly hear adults offering boys helpful, 1950’s era advice like: ‘don’t be a sook’, ‘harden up princess’ and ‘boys don’t cry’. (Just like in The Rider) This is what we’ve been teaching our boys for years, so we shouldn’t be surprised when those boys grow up into emotionally repressed men that struggle with their mental health. It’s time we ditched this outdated and unhealthy approach and started encouraging boys that it’s ok to show their emotions … for years, our image of masculinity has been defined
