Carolyn Ulitsky :: AN INVITATION TO TRUST YOURSELF
and I am a recovering people pleaser and recovering over giver. As a recovering people pleaser and over giver, I learned that my boundaries were non-existent. Being the eldest child of Filipino immigrants, my job was to be the dutiful, eldest daughter. That means I sacrificed my own needs to support the needs of the family or others. People pleasing and overgiving left me feeling: Depleted emotionally and physically, Unsure about myself and the decisions I was making, Resentful that no one appreciated my efforts, so I would be angry.
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Hi! My name is Carolyn Ulitsky,
Everyone does it‚ people pleasing and over giving — but nobody talks about it. I want to talk about it. Yet, this concept of boundaries is tricky for me. Up until now, saying “no” was selfish, unkind, and down right bad. I made decisions based on others’ needs first. My best example of people pleasing and over giving was when I started to build my practice as a muscle therapist. I would say “yes” to working all hours (7am til 8pm) and many times gave away sessions. So, I was working on 12–14 clients a day, seven days a week, with no lunch or break. How could I say “no” to clients that were in pain? It was my chosen career to “help” people. Yes, I built my successful business, and I was exhausted and tired at the end of the day. I had no energy left for myself. This was the ultimate sacrifice. What I’ve realized, now that I have connected back to me and am choosing what’s right for me is: The more vulnerable I am and the more chances I take to “speak me,” everything aligns, Holding my boundary for me is important, not because I am needed by others, but because I need me for me first. Let’s talk about this idea of being vulnerable and holding boundaries for yourself. Inner boundaries are being vulnerable to self. They
