16 82 76 68 60
CONTENTS
Homeward
Where
Girlfriend
Out
Suicide
Jury
AREA
AUGUST.SEPTEMBER TWENTY FIFTEEN 12 16 30 32 34 36 38 44 46 48 52 54 56 60 64 66 68 72 74 76 80 82 90 92 94 98 Contributors Area Events Calendar Go Hawaiian for Hospice Lutheran Social Services Dedicates New Building Beth Moore Coming to the Fargodome Enlightenment, Entertainment and Education Growing Together
Power of Partnerships
Voice Project
WOMAN
The
Matthew's
of the Darkness
Prevention
to Expect
Selection– What
Animal Shelter
We Love
Photography
to Shop
Getaway Fun
Passion For Fabric
Out Inner Beauty
Pain is a Daily Drain
and Support to Tiny Babies' Families
Together
New Classic Women Scientist
Play
Playhouse
Survivor to Advocate 64 44
A
Bringing
Body
Comfort
Rebuilding
The
Word
GiGi's
From
PUBLISHER
Area Woman Publishing, LLC
EDITORS IN CHIEF
Mike Sherman
Becky Sherman
PROOFING EDITOR
Amy Peterson
GRAPHIC DESIGN
Sydney Schermerhorn
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PHOTOGRAPHY
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Ashley Oberholtzer Photography
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Haney's Photography
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Ockhardt Photography
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Scherling Photography
Studio A Photo
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Timeless Images Photography
Traci Adamson Photography
Wolff Photography
Area Woman is a proud member of the Fargo/Moorhead Chamber of Commerce. It is published bi-monthly by Area Woman Publishing, LLC and printed in the U.S.A. ©2015 Area Woman Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from AW. Area Woman is a trademark registered at U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Area Woman Publishing assumes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or photographs and does not necessarily agree with content or advertising presented.
PHOTOGRAPH PROVIDED BY BEN NASH PHOTOGRAPHY
WOMEN’S RESOURCES
WOMEN’S RESOURCES
CONTRIBUTORS
MEG PITTELKO JILL KANDEL
Meagan Pittelko is a freelance writer who dabbles in a little bit of everything, from wedding photography to marketing consulting. She loves coffee, wine and B-list horror movies.
megpittelko@gmail.com
Jill Kandel is the winner of the Autumn House Prize for Creative Nonfiction, 2014. Her book, So Many Africas: Six Years in a Zambian Village, is forthcoming in January of 2015 from Autumn House Press. She is the runner-up of the 23rd Annual Missouri Review Jeffry E. Smith Editors' Prize and her work has been anthologized in Best Spiritual Writing 2012 (Penguin Books) and in Becoming: What Makes a Woman (University of Nebraska, 2012). Her essays have been published in The Missouri Review, Gettysburg Review, River Teeth, Pinch, and Image. To learn more visit www.jillkandel.com
MARIE LASKA
Marie Laska has lived in North Dakota for the past five years after migrating south from Canada. Her passions include traveling, trying / cooking different cuisines, enjoying the trails and outdoor activities in and around North Dakota and meeting new people. She lives by the creed that everyone has a story to tell, and writing for Area Woman allows her to share some of those stories.
This issue, Alicia wrote our cover story!
ALICIA UNDERLEE NELSON
BAlicia is the creator of prairiestylefile.com, a website that showcases what’s beautiful and what’s next in North Dakota and beyond. She frequently travels across the region to cover the arts, culture, shopping, events and fashion of the Upper Midwest.
She is a local correspondent for Reuters and her work has been published in numerous magazines and newspapers in the region. She is also a featured writer for several online publications and a well-traveled public speaker.
Alicia is a graduate of Minnesota State University Moorhead. She loves traveling, reading, experimenting in the kitchen and shopping at estate sales. Alicia lives in West Fargo with her husband and their extremely busy toddler.
Learn more about these talented women and how you can get involved a areawomanmagazine.com
12
LIFE
Whether you have lived in the F/M area for two months or 20 years, chances are you are finding new things to entertain, enrich and encourage you. Stories in this edition of Area Life are sure to renew your sense of pride in the type of people that live in this area, and give you hope as you look to the future. As always, the calendar of events is a great way to find out how you can be involved in all the great things that are going on around you. Be sure to check it out!
Image provided by Dennis Krull, 5foot20 Design Lounge.
August.September
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
Note: All events are subject to change. Confirm dates and times before attending.
AUGUST 6
COMMUNITY PLAY DAY
Free Play for all ages at Rheault Farm! Play yard games, do a takehome craft, climb on the playground and move to music outside in the sunshine!
9-11 A.M. & 1-3 P.M.
Rheault Farm
2902 25 St S www.fargoparks.com | 499-7788
AUGUST 6
LIVE, LOVE, LATCH: LA LECHE LEAGUE OF FARGOMOORHEAD POTLUCK PICNIC/SILENT AUCTION
Join us for our annual potluck picnic! Bring a dish to share. Plates and cutlery will be provided. Anyone supportive of breastfeeding is invited. This is a family-friendly event.
6-8 P.M.
Lindenwood Park (smaller shelter)
1955 Roger Maris Drive, Fargo
AUGUST 6
CHALK FEST!
Have fun creating art at the zoo at The Arts Partnership’s ChalkFest. This is the largest community art making event of the summer. Zoo admission is free from 1-8 p.m. courtesy of The Arts Partnership.
1-8 P.M.
Red River Zoo
4255 23rd Ave South www.redriverzoo.org
AUGUST 10
MOVIE NIGHT
Watch a movie on an inflatable screen in the park. Movie Nights in the Park are held throughout the summer.
TIME: DUSK
Island Park
616 1st Ave S www.fargoparks.com | 499-6060
SEPTEMBER 9
AUGUST 13 & AUGUST 14
THE OIL PROJECT PRESENTED BY THEATRE B AND PLAINS ART MUSEUM
Leading up to the closing of the Bakken Boom exhibition on August 15, The Oil Project is an original hour-long theater performance about the changes happening in western North Dakota. Theatre B performers will use interviews, published reports, stories and music to create this collaborative work, premiering at the Museum. Free and open to the public.
NOON AND 7 P.M. BOTH DAYS
Plains Art Museum
704 First Ave N, Fargo plainsart.org
TAYLOR SWIFT
AUGUST 14
FREE FRIDAY MOVIE AT THE CARLSON LIBRARY
Free Friday movies are shown at 1 p.m. on the 2nd Friday of each month (Aug. through May) at the Dr. James Carlson Library. Free popcorn is served. This is event is free to the public.
1 P.M.
Dr. James Carlson Library
2801 32nd Ave S, Fargo
476-4040
AUGUST 18
SCHOOL SUPPLY BINGO EVENT AT THE NORTHPORT LIBRARY
Get some back-to-school supplies at this School Supply Bingo event starting at 11 a.m. at the Northport Library. No registration is required; snacks will be served. For kids in grades 1 through 6. Call 241-1495 for details. Free.
11 A.M.
Northport Library
2714 N Broadway, Fargo
Children’s Services, 241-1495
THURSDAY, AUGUST 20
CREATIVE VOICES ARTIST TALK WITH DENISE LAJIMODIERE
Artist Denise Lajimodiere will talk about the lost art of birch bark biting, a nearly extinct centuries-old practice that was once common among Native American artisans. Free and open to the public.
Supported by funding from the Margaret A. Cargill Foundation.
6:30–7:30 P.M.
Plains Art Museum
704 First Ave N, Fargo plainsart.org
AUGUST 20 & SEPTEMBER 10
CORKS & CANVAS | ART & WINE WALK DOWNTOWN
Sample select wines and experience new varieties from on-site servers while viewing work from local + regional artists! 21+ event, wristbands are $20.
5-9 P.M.
Downtown Fargo
www.downtownfargo.com
AUGUST 22
BMX JAM
Bikers, show off your tricks at the BMX Jam. All skill levels can participate in the exhibition. Helmets are required.
3 P.M.
Dike West Skate Park
310 4th St S
www.fargoparks.com | 499-7788
Are you planning or attending an upcoming event? Submit local events online at areawomanmagazine.com
17
August.September
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
Note: All events are subject to change. Confirm dates and times before attending.
AUGUST 22
CHARACTER MATCH-UP FOR BE THE MATCH 5K
A fun and festive 5K Fun Run/Walk! Come dressed as your favorite fictional character, or with a group of friends as your favorite cast, and raise money for Be The Match! Also includes kids' 1/2 mile and 1 mile runs.
8:30 A.M. -1 P.M. Lindenwood Park Main Shelter
www.bethematchfoundation.org/fargoFUNrun
AUGUST 17
CUTS FOR KIDS: FREE HAIRCUTS FOR BACK TO SCHOOL
Kids entering K-12 will have the opportunity for a shampoo/cut/style FREE of charge at Josef's downtown before they go back to school. Tours of the Fargo Main Fire Station will also be available throughout the day. Event made possible by Josef’s School of Hair Design and The Salvation Army.
12-6 P.M
Josef's School of Hair Design
627 NP Ave, Fargo
AUGUST 25, SEPTEMBER 22 AND OCTOBER 27 THE BIRTH CIRCLE
The Birth Circle is a free community resource for pregnant couples, new parents and pregnancy/birth professionals. Meetings are hosted by Doulas of the Red River Valley.
7 P.M.
Ecce Yoga Studio
216 N Broadway Suite # 204, Fargo www.doulasrrv.org | www.facebook. com/groups/doulasrrv/
AUGUST 27-28
YOU LEAD PRECONFERENCE LEADERSHIP TRAINING
YOU Lead, a pre-conference to Living Proof Live, is a leadership training event designed to help you effectively reach and disciple women for Christ.
27TH: 1-6 P.M.
28TH: 8:30 A.M.-2:30 P.M.
Hope Lutheran Church
2900 N Broadway, Fargo
www.lifeway.com/event/Womens-Event-YOULead-Fargo-ND
AUGUST 28-29
LIVING PROOF LIVE WITH BETH MOORE
We are praying about the great things God will do in the lives of women in your area—whether it’s your small group, your women’s ministry, your closest friends or your co-workers, we hope to see you and the women in your communities at Living Proof Live. Don’t wait—register today and add Living Proof Live to your 2015 calendar!
8/28 - 7:00 P.M., 8/29 - 8:30 A.M.
FARGODOME
1800 N University Dr, Fargo
www.fargodome.com
AUGUST 29
OLE’S RIDE - VERGAS, MINN.
Ole’s Ride is a motorcycle ride held in memory of Ole Barton, who lost his battle to cancer in February 2011. The ride kicks off from Billy’s Corner Bar in Vergas at noon. The cost is $25 per bike, $15 for additional rider, and includes a T-shirt, meal and chances at door prizes at each stop. A meal and live music by the FATCATS follow the ride.
12 P.M.
Billy’s Corner Bar, Vergas
SEPTEMBER 9
TAYLOR SWIFT
Seven-time GRAMMY Winner Taylor Swift Returns to Fargo at the FARGODOME on September 9th, 2015 with Special Guest Vance Joy
7:30 P.M.
FARGODOME
1800 N University Dr, Fargo
www.fargodome.com
SEPTEMBER 9
UNITED WAY KICKOFF
Join United Way of Cass-Clay as we kick off the 2015 Campaign. Attendance is free and includes a lunch. Registration required.
11:30 A.M. - 1:00 P.M.
Holiday Inn Fargo
3803 13th Ave S
www.unitedwaycassclay.org
(701)-237-5050
20
SEPTEMBER 10 CHOCOLATE FANTASY
August.September
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
Note: All events are subject to change. Confirm dates and times before attending.
SEPTEMBER 10
CHOCOLATE FANTASY AND CHILI TOO!
What could be better than all you can eat chocolate? An annual fundraiser benefiting women and children served by the YWCA Cass Clay, Chocolate Fantasy is a fun-filled event for the entire family. Purchase your tickets online or pay at the door - tickets are $13 online ($15 at the door), $5 for children ages 6-12; children 5 and younger are free! Online tickets available through Sept. 8.
11 A.M.- 7 P.M.
Fargo Holiday Inn
3803 13th Ave S, Fargo
www.ywcacassclay.org
SEPTEMBER 10
F/M FENCING CLUB: INTRO TO FENCING FOR ADULTS
Have fun and a great workout just like an Olympian! The F/M Fencing Club is teaching Intro to Fencing for Adults (ages 12 and up). A six-class series on Thursday evenings beginning September 10. Learn the basics of Olympic fencing. Please wear sweatpants and court shoes (no shorts.) Fencing equipment supplied by the FMFC, cost is $65.
6:30-8 P.M.
1025 14th Ave S, Fargo Register at www.fmfencing.com | (701)-630-8402
SEPTEMBER 10
LITTLE SQUIRT SCIENCE
Preschoolers will love this Thursday morning science event for preschoolers. All materials will be provided; treats will be served. Pre-registration is required. Free.
11 A.M.
Dr. James Carlson Library
2801 32nd Ave S, Fargo 476-4040
SEPTEMBER 10
MUSIC MONTAGE
Join in an interactive evening of music outside on the park plaza. An open mic format invites talented local musicians to perform to a crowd of all ages. Get your shot up on the stage or just enjoy the up and coming talent in our community.
6-8 P.M.
Great Northern Park
425 N Broadway
www.fargoparks.com | 499-7788
SEPTEMBER 10
CCRI'S SUPERHERO 5K & SIDEKICK YOUTH RUN
Caped crusaders will patrol the city of Moorhead for a good cause! Partnering with Greater Moorhead Days, CCRI's 10th annual Superhero 5K & SideKick Youth Run will be on September 10 in Gooseberry Park
Sidekick Youth Run—6 p.m. | Superhero 5K Run—6:30 p.m.
CCRI, Inc. provides services to 350+ individuals with disabilities in the Clay County area. Our mission is to enhance and enrich the lives and learning of people with disabilities.
6 & 6:30 P.M.
Gooseberry Park
100 22nd Ave S, Moorhead www.CreativeCare.org
SEPTEMBER 10 LITTLE SQUIRT SCIENCE
COMING EVENTS
COMING EVENTS
August.September
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
Note: All events are subject to change. Confirm dates and times before attending.
SEPTEMBER 11
ROGER MARIS CANCER CENTER 61 FOR 61 RADIO-THON
A day long radio-thon to raise money in support of the Roger Maris Cancer Center.
6 A.M.- 8 P.M. Family Fare
3175 25th St S, Fargo 61for61.sanfordhealth.org
SEPTEMBER 12
FM ROTARY RIDE
The Rotary Ride of Fargo-Moorhead is back for a third consecutive year. This event is a collaborative project by the five area Rotary clubs. The ride starts and ends at the Rotary shelter in Lindenwood Park. Routes of various abilities will be available including 11, 35, 45, 60 miles. All routes will be fully supported and have rest stops including a post-ride picnic. Proceeds benefit the Rotary Miracle Field and other Rotary projects.
TIME: VARIED
Lindenwood Park (Rotary Shelter)
1955 Roger Maris Drive, Fargo www.fmrotaryride.com | fmrotaryride@gmail. com
SEPTEMBER 12
RIDE THE RED
Flint Communications is once again excited to hold the 15th annual bike ride for charity, Ride the Red, to raise support for Hospice of the Red River Valley. Children under 12 ride FREE with a paid adult. Deadline: Register by August 29, 2015 to guarantee your free t-shirt. Registration Fee: $25 for adults; children 12 and under ride free with a paid adult. CHECK-IN AND REFRESHMENTS BEGIN AT 9 A.M., AND THE RIDE BEGINS AT 9:30 A.M.
Trefoil Park, Fargo, N.D. Visit facebook.com/ridethered for updates and the trail map.
QUOTABLE
SEPTEMBER 13
GRANDPARENTS DAY AT THE ZOO!
Celebrate Grandparents Day with a trip to the zoo! All grandparents receive free admission.
10 A.M. -7 P.M.
Red River Zoo
4255 23rd Ave S
www.redriverzoo.org
SEPTEMBER 13
OUT OF THE DARKNESS COMMUNITY WALK
Every year suicide claims more lives than war, murder and natural disasters combined, and yet suicide prevention doesn't get anywhere near the funding given to other leading causes of death. It's up to walkers like us to make a difference. Together we can change the conversation about mental health and put a stop to this tragic loss of life.
1 P.M. REGISTRATION, 2 P.M. WALK
Lindenwood Park
1905 Roger Maris Drive
www.outofthedarkness.org
SEPTEMBER 17
MSUM PERFORMING ARTS SERIES: THE HERITAGE BLUES ORCHESTRA
The GRAMMY® Award-nominated nine-member Heritage Blues Orchestra brings the grit of lowdown country and urban blues to the bold brass of New Orleans; the hand-clapping, hustle and bustle of gospel to fiery postmodern, jazz-infused horn arrangements; the haunting cries of work songs to pulsating drums that reach back to the roots of it all.
7:30 P.M.
Gaede Stage in the Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM
For tickets, go to www.mnstate.edu/perform or call the MSUM Box Office M-F from 10:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. at (218) 477-2271.
"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. Then you will seek me and find me: when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the Lord. "
— JEREMIAH 29: 11-14
AUGUST
6 CHALK FEST!
SEPTEMBER 17
3RD ANNUAL ATTIRE TO INSPIRE FASHION SHOW
Hors D’Ouevres, Silent Auction, & a night of fun for a great cause! All proceeds benefit Dress for Success Red River Valley of the Upper Midwest.
6-9 P.M.
Courtyard by Marriott, Moorhead redrivervalley.dressforsuccess.org (701) 478-8076
SEPTEMBER 20
INTERNATIONAL DAY OF PEACE
Readings and music will focus on Peace. Sponsored by the Baha'i Faith Community, Fargo/Moorhead Unitarian Universalist Church, Presentation Sisters, and Center for Interfaith Projects.
4 P.M.
Clapp Senior Center (Carlson Library)
2801 32nd Ave S, Fargo (218) 233-3138
SEPTEMBER 21
SHANIA TWAIN
One of the world’s best-selling female artists in history, Shania Twain, will be extending her ROCK THIS COUNTRY tour into the Fall of 2015, due to overwhelming fan demand. This will be her first North American tour in more than 11 years.
7:30 P.M.
FARGODOME
1800 N University Dr, Fargo www.fargodome.com
SEPTEMBER 29
ROERS CHILI FEED FOR UNITED WAY
Join United Way and Roers/Keller Williams in the Annual Chili Feed. This event features over 50 different chili recipes to sample with a bowl ready for any taste bud to appreciate! This event is open to the public and offers a free-will donation with all proceeds benefiting United Way.
11:30 A.M.- 2 P.M.
Roers
200 45th St S # 200, Fargo www.unitedwaycassclay.org | (701) 237-5050
OCTOBER 3
GIGI’S PLAYHOUSE WALK AND FESTIVAL (FORMERLY THE UP WITH DOWNS BUDDY WALK)
The third-annual walk for Down syndrome awareness and fundraising for GiGi’s Playhouse features a one-mile walk, bounce-house and festival games, and performances by Elevate Rock School. The event is free and open to everyone.
9 A.M.- 1 P.M.
Scheels Arena, Fargo Register online at gigisplayhouse.org/fargo/gigiswalk-festival.
areawomanmagazine.com 27
GO HAWAIIAN FOR HOSPICE
Local Bank and Businesses Team for Fun and Fundraising
When Erv Inniger accompanied his good friend, and well-known community philanthropist, Norene Bunker through the last months of life, he marveled at the fantastic care given by Hospice of the Red River Valley. As Inniger described it, “The service provided by the Hospice nurses was unbelievable. They furnished care with dignity, respect and compassion in the midst of an extremely tough situation.” In addition, their care didn’t stop when Bunker passed away; they continued to check and make sure that Inniger was doing okay with bereavement support throughout the subsequent months.
After that experience, Inniger was determined to find a way to give back to the organization which had so clearly touched his life. As Senior Director of Community Relations with Choice Financial Group, Inniger has the opportunity to speak daily with a wide variety of people in the Fargo and Moorhead area and beyond. Through many of those connections, he learned almost everyone he met had in some way been touched by the good work of Hospice. “Everyone’s story is different but it is clear the Hospice folks know how to handle people and make a positive impact on lives at a very sensitive time.”
The idea for some type of fundraiser began to germinate. Inniger collaborated with his Choice Financial colleague Kristina Holtgard to develop what has become known as “Go Hawaiian for Hospice.” The fundraiser is a clear example of community camaraderie and cooperation as all of the businesses in the Choice Financial neighborhood work together to make the day a success. Twenty different businesses collaborate to provide everything from food and facilities for cooking, to parking lot space and volunteer servers. That group of sponsors includes: Kasowski Farms, Simplot, Brand Trucking, GoPromo, Petro Serve USA, TMI Hospitality, AmeriPride, Hornbacher’s, Premium Waters, Fargo RentAll, The Yogurt Place, Brandt Holdings, and Nine Dragons/Slap Shot.
Brightly colored Hawaiian decorations and tents invited guests to gather and enjoy a luau lunch of barbecued pork sandwiches, baked potatoes and luscious pineapple at the 3rd annual “Go Hawaiian for Hospice” fundraiser on June 25. The weather was a beautiful
Carolyn Lillehaugen | Photography by Dennis Krull, 5foot20 Design Lounge
sunny 78 degrees and the community feeling was equally as warm. The back of one tent became the Norene Bunker memorial wall where all attendees were invited to remember and honor their deceased loved ones by writing names on paper hearts and adding them to the wall.
Besides the great food, members of the FM RedHawks team joined the festivities as honored guests to talk with diners and play yard games with kids. Also joining them was baseball legend Maury Wills, former major league shortstop famous for his base-stealing ability, who currently serves as radio color commentator for the RedHawks.
This year’s “Go Hawaiian” event raised nearly $65,000 bringing the three-year total to more than $119,000. According to Beth Haseltine, assistant director of clinical operations for Hospice, “Events like this are crucial for our ability to serve the community.” Hospice of the Red River Valley is an independent, notfor-profit agency that has been serving patients and families in 29 counties in North Dakota and Minnesota since 1981. With attention to comfort care that alleviates pain and suffering, they enhance the quality of life for terminally ill patients and support families by addressing their medical, emotional, spiritual and grief needs. Hospice care is provided to anyone who meets the medical guidelines regardless of their ability to pay. Haseltine explained, “The types of services Hospice provides are costly and although we receive funding from Medicare, Medicaid and insurance, the support from fundraisers such as this makes it possible for us to continue to fulfill our mission.”
As Holtgard said, “It was a beautiful day and we had a great turnout. The food was wonderful and the support for Hospice could be felt all around. We’re proud of what we have accomplished in the first three years, and if we continue to set our sights high, honestly the future is unlimited.” [AWM]
areawomanmagazine.com 31
LUTHERAN SOCIAL SERVICES DEDICATES NEW BUILDING TO HELP PEOPLE THRIVE
Smiles, hugs, handshakes, blisters and prayer opened the doors of the new Lutheran Social Services of North Dakota building in March. A history rich in giving throughout North Dakota laid the foundation.
The building, according to CEO Jessica Thomasson, is the Center for Healing, Help and Hope. This building has a big job – it not only gives a home for the people who work and come there as clients, it is a beacon of hope to everyone who passes by on I-94.
Prominently displayed above the door is the dove, a bird used as the symbol of LSS ministry for decades. Thomasson believes the dove was adopted because it is almost universally understood to show the hand and presence of God in the world.
At the grand opening, in a sunshiny room filled with people waiting for the dedication and tours, Board Chairman Mark Strand of West Fargo talked about this “dream come true.” He said his first meeting with the board was seven years ago. At that meeting, the board moved to purchase the land. “We want North Dakotans of all ages to thrive,” he said.
The new facility includes both staff offices and a spacious conference center, which is available for public use. The Scandinavian-
inspired architectural design and color palette within the building honor North Dakota’s heritage, while offering modern, flexible work spaces that allow staff and clients to collaborate easily in a mix of both private and shared spaces.
Other offices are located in Grand Forks, Minot, Williston and Bismarck.
Gov. Jack Dalrymple spoke, lauding LSS leadership. He said the direct partnership LSS has with the state to provide affordable housing is critical. Creating the new Housing Incentive Fund with LSS as the number one partner showed LSS determination, know-how and ability to cut through red tape.
Fargo Mayor Tim Mahoney took a philosophical yet practical approach in
his comments. “More and more people need hope,” he said, “and Lutheran Social Services helps the city in housing, behavioral health, senior citizens and so many areas.”
Rick Blilie, superintendent for contractor Roers Construction, likes the building. “This was a smooth project. This building is built to last,” he said.
His words echo Thomasson when she said LSS made its stake for the next century. “Many things had to connect. This building holds services that have to interact, just like a family interacts. It’s a privilege to see how the pieces fit together on a daily basis.”
“I am excited for us to be part of the community conversations that are
Words by Katherine Tweed
Photography by Kensie Wallner Photography
32
happening around change. Our organization’s unifying goal is to help people thrive. We know that one way we can help people thrive is by helping people to connect in new ways –the simple act of connecting can actually help build community,” she said.
“North Dakota is filled with good-hearted people. We are so blessed.”
Bishop Terry Brandt of the Eastern North Dakota ELCA Synod, whose offices are colocated at the new building, led prayers along with Bishop Mark Narum of the Western North Dakota ELCA Synod.
LSS statistics
LSS is a statewide social services ministry providing nonprofit housing, food, disaster recovery, counseling and therapy and other services to our neighbors in need.
The agency, initially founded in 1919 as an adoption organization, has a long tradition of charting new growth based on the needs of people living in North Dakota.
A staff of more than 330 employees across the state, and hundreds of volunteers, help Lutheran Social Services of North Dakota deliver healing, help and hope to individuals, families and communities in need.
From its beginnings as a child placement service provider and re-settler of European refugee children after World War II to its current incarnation as a state leader in affordable housing, behavioral health care and innovative services for children and seniors, Lutheran Social Services of North Dakota’s focus is always on helping people thrive.
[AWM]
TO CONTACT LSS:
3911 20th Ave S, Fargo
701.271.3207 | lssnd.org
areawomanmagazine.com 33
COMING TO THE FARGODOME Beth Moore
Best-selling author and Bible teacher Beth Moore speaks to thousands of women each year. She delights in leading women into richer relationships with God by teaching His word. Each year, more than 100,000 women participate in the Living Proof Live events held throughout the United States. The event both challenges and encourages women to grow deeply in their faith. This year, after a six-year hiatus, Living Proof Live will return to Fargo with a two-part event.
Living Proof Live YOU Lead Women's Ministry Training
YOU Lead is a pre-conference leadership training time designed to teach women how to reach and disciple women for Christ. You Lead is August 27 - 28. Held at Hope Lutheran North Church, YOU Lead will feature worship and breakout training sessions on topics such as Beginning and Building a Growing Women’s Ministry, Taking Women’s Ministry to the Next Level, Women Reaching Women in Crisis, Reaching the Next Generation, and sessions designed especially for pastor's wives. Whether you are part of a small group or meeting women one on one for coffee, this event is geared to help you be better equipped to minister to the women in your life.
Living Proof Live with Beth Moore
Living Proof Live with Beth Moore runs Friday evening, August 28 from 7:00 to 9:00 and Saturday morning from 8:30 to noon at the Fargodome.
Director of Live Events, Paige Green, said, "If you've never been to a live event with Beth, it is quite an experience. Beth is very enthusiastic. She's funny. She loves the Word of God and she loves teaching women. Each Living Proof Live event has a unique
message and Bible teaching that applies to real life. No two events are alike."
If you need a break from your hectic life, if you are looking for spiritual renewal, if you want a place to join other women in worship, if you need some encouragement, then, as Beth says, "You belong with us."
Local Team
City Team leader Kathy Spriggs said, "Beth is down to earth. She's been through some tough trials. What God has done through her life and her devotion to Bible teaching is beautiful. Getting women into God’s word is the real reason Beth teaches. God’s word changes women."
Other members of the core team preparing for Living Proof Live include Kathy Mitchell hospitality coordinator, Jenine Anderson prayer, Jacki Knapp-Raaen promotions, Judy Siegle You Lead, Idette Graham Community Team coordinator,
Words by Jill Kandel | Photography by Kensie Wallner Photography
34
Left to Right: Jacki Knapp Raaen, Kathy Spriggs, Jenine Anderson, Idette Graham, Kathy Mitchell, Megan Lawrence and in front Judy Siegle
and Megan Lawrence handling tech.
"Our vision is to reach lost, hurting, and unchurched women. Instead of just buying a ticket for yourself, who could you bring along?" Spriggs asks. "Who do you know that can’t afford a ticket or isn't connected with a church? Could you buy a ticket for a neighbor, coworker, relative, or friend? And because the event is Friday evening and Saturday morning, you can still attend that wedding or function you need to on Saturday afternoon or evening."
Much of the information you will need is available online at www.Lifeway.com/ livingproof when you click on "Fargo Event." You can purchase tickets (there is a bundle price available if you attend both YOU Lead and Living Proof Live), sign up to volunteer or join the network to get connected and learn about specific ways to pray for the event.
"Living Proof Live pours into the community and local ministries, such as Jail Chaplains and Perry Center, offering tickets for women to attend. Beth isn't coming just to 'do an event'" Spriggs said. "She is here to help women get connected. Women who attend receive resources booklets of local Bible studies and small groups that already exist in our area. Beth wants women who come to the event to leave with local resources for further growth and community."
The Living Proof Live website states, "The truth is a powerful tool for life change―the truth spoken in love, taught from a bold and trustworthy teacher will rearrange you. Join Beth Moore at a Living Proof Live event at the Fargo Dome and see how one weekend can change your life." And remember, bring a friend along! It just might change her life, too. [ AWM ] FOR
Or check out the Facebook page livingprooflivefargo
MORE INFORMATION GO TO www.Lifeway.com/livingproof
areawomanmagazine.com 35
From left to right: Jan Harrison, Judy Rippentrop, Jan Monda & Christine Kloubec
*All four women have been past presidents, the current president is Jan Monda
ENLIGHTENMENT, ENTERTAINMENT AND EDUCATION
Words by Meagan Pittelko
Comedians, authors, entertainers and interesting people of other varieties have been coming to Fargo to speak for 44 years - and you may have been missing them this entire time.
The First Presbyterian Church has invited a wide range of speakers to Fargo through the Town Hall Lecture Series since 1971 - thanks to a woman named Peggy Preston. Preston moved to Fargo and was disappointed to find that, unlike many other towns at the time, Fargo did not have a lecture series. With help from the Presbyterian Women’s Association,
Town Hall was founded with the idea that all profits from the lectures would go to local charities, according to a Town Hall brochure.
Although many dedicated guests attend the lectures each year, Ticket Chair Jan Harrison said that some members of the church are still surprised to hear about the Lecture Series. The entire Town Hall board agreed, though, that the Lecture Series has a positive impact on the community.
“Our purpose, as it says in our brochure,” said Harrison, “is to produce, promote and present a lecture series to the general public that enlightens, educates and entertains.”
The nonprofit aims to bring fun and educational speakers to the Fargo area while giving back to the community. Since its inception, the Lecture Series has raised over half a million dollars, according to Publicity Chair Christine Kloubec.
“We primarily give to women’s charities and food pantries,” Kloubec said. “We only give to local charities and we have a
committee that determines which charities receive donations each year.”
In addition to donating to local charities, the Lecture Series also promotes the thriving culture and community of Fargo - not only to its guests, but to its speakers as well.
“We had one speaker, New York author Tom Santopietro,” Kloubec said, “who got this hat that said ‘Fargo’ on it. He still emails me sometimes, saying that people stop him on the street and ask if he’s really been here.”
Former president Judy Rippentrop agreed, saying that speakers and guests from other regions of the country are often impressed with Fargo and the surrounding area.
In the past, speakers have included Winston Churchill Jr., Robert Kennedy Jr., Richard Simmons, Flip Wilson, Art Linkletter, Steve Hartman, Rick Steves and Becky Gulsvig.
The 2015-2016 Series will be held at
o
36
Photography by Bill Kloubec
the Holiday Inn on Mondays October 5, November 2, April 11 and May 2 and will feature four incredible guests.
On October 5, Vicki Lawrence of The Carol Burnett Show and Mama’s Family will give a lecture on being a multi-talented extraordinaire. Next, on November 2, Roland Mesnier will give a lecture about his 25-year experience as the executive pastry chef for the White House, during which he delighted presidents such as Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George Bush and more. On Monday, April 11, Dr. Jo-Ellan Dimitrius will give a lecture on being a jury consultant, trial consultant and legal commentator. Finally, the 2015-2016 Series will conclude with Bob Eubanks of The Newlywed Game on May 2.
The one hour lectures have brought in between 900 and 1300 guests over the years, many of whom also attend a Q&A lunch following each lecture, according to Kloubec.
“The lunch afterwards is often a highlight,” Harrison said. “It allows people to make really personal connections with the speakers.”
In addition to the charity-focused and educational aspects of the Series, the board said that being a part of the Series is a good time overall.
“It’s fun and educational as well as being a unique way to raise money for the community,” said president Jan Monda. “We like to bring in well-known, recognizable speakers for our audience. It’s enlightening and the community benefits from it.”
Although the ticket price has gone up from its original price (the complete series pass was just $12 in 1971), the Town Hall continues to enthrall Fargo with its Lecture Series year after year. [AWM]
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GROWING Together
Imagine it’s a warm summer day. You’re outside with your family and friends. Birds are singing, there is a soft hum of traffic in the distance. The sun warms your back as you make your way among rows of vegetables, planting seeds or pulling weeds with all the others, whose chatter and laughter fill the air. Your children are all helping or playing together. Someone has brought enough cool, clean water for everyone. Another has brought enough bread and sandwich fixings for everyone to have lunch. You’re in good company, and you’re safe.
Now imagine armed men storming in on horseback, or in vehicles, shooting indiscriminately. Imagine you find out the armed men are rounding up all the men in your town―husbands, uncles, fathers, any grown man―and shooting them. Then imagine they’re taking all the children who haven’t fled and turning them into soldiers or slaves. You flee by foot and hide wherever you can, searching for your children, not
Words and Photography by Jill Ockhardt
The gardeners at The Gathering garden site at 40th Avenue South and 25th Street South
knowing if you can trust the children you meet because they could be working for the armed men. Imagine eating anything you can find to survive.
For many of Fargo’s refugee population, this was their reality, or―for the younger ones― the reality of their parents, as many of them have spent years in refugee camps with their parents before being sent to Fargo and other places around the U.S. and the world. While the refugees I spoke with were grateful to Fargo for taking them in―for the safety, kindness and support of the community―many are not here with the familial support system they knew and relied on, and many did not receive a formal education before arriving. They grew their food and paid for their children’s education by farming small plots of land and selling their harvest. After being raised in an environment where the village truly raised and watched out for each other’s children, they’ve arrived with their families alone. They carry on their backs the challenges of learning a new language and new culture, finding out the hard way what “winter” means, finding a job, navigating a public transportation system with large gaps, putting food on the table, putting their children in daycare, and―surprisingly― paying back the cost of the airplane ticket that brought them across the world to Fargo.
Back in 2005, Nola Storm was working for the Fargo Public Schools ELL (English Language Learners) Program and the Fargo Adult Learning Center English as a Second Language and Family Literacy Program. Through both home visits and through talking with students and teachers at school, she learned much about the refugee population in Fargo. There was a sense of isolation among the refugees that affected Storm the most. In her conversations with the principal at Lewis & Clark and the K-12 ELL coordinator― both of whom, along with Storm, belonged to Olivet Lutheran Church in Fargo―there was a consensus that after losing so much, these people needed something more. “We knew
areawomanmagazine.com 39
we couldn't fix all the problems our new American neighbors face, but we should be able to do something.”
That something became “Growing Together,” the first community garden organization in Fargo starting in 2006 as a collaborative effort of many, but headed by Nola Storm, Kathy Johnson, Anita Hoffsommer, and Jack Wood. Now the number has grown to four community gardens due to Growing Together’s partnerships with Lutheran Social Services, United Methodist Church, CHARISM and many volunteers.
Jack Woods, master gardener and heirloom tomato enthusiast, was growing all the bedding plant seedlings in his basement during Growing Together’s infancy. They now are able to use an older greenhouse at NDSU, but Woods continues to grow a large number of the plants at his house. Storm credits an enormous list of collaborators, and during gardening nights you’ll see Storm, Woods and Hoffmayer all helping out alongside the new Americans, but Storm remains insistent that the real heroes are the new Americans whose time and efforts make the gardens successful. “It's really about them. We are the organizers, but without our amazing gardeners, it really wouldn't be anything.”
Rosaline, a Liberian who spent fourteen years in a refugee camp before coming to Fargo, recalls when Storm ran the idea for a garden passed her and the other Liberian refugees. “We told her ‘Yes! We love to garden!’ This is how our people raised money to pay school fees.” The food they grow is not only healthy, but also allows Food Stamp dollars to be stretched for those who receive them. Now, with the abundant harvest, Rosaline and her daughter Fataba not only use the harvest at home, but also run a small farmer’s market at the garden on 25th Street and 40th Avenue South in
40
^ Nola and gardeners staking out the rows at the Community Homes garden site
Fargo every Thursday. The proceeds help to buy clothing and Christmas gifts for the children of the new Americans, and seeds for next year. Rosaline added, “[The garden] helps our kids stay out of trouble during the summer because it gives them something else to do.”
There are several challenges Storm said the gardening groups face. On the forefront is transportation to the gardens. “All of the gardeners find their own transportation via bikes, friends, relatives and city bus,” she said. Another challenge comes at the end of the growing season, after the gardeners have worked hard all summer, and then people show up only during harvest and want to participate. We struggle with that as we hate to turn anyone away,” said Storm, “but we want to honor the feelings, desires and hard work of our gardeners.”
The community gardens serve the community and impact individuals in both tangible and immeasurable intangible ways. A garden allows families a great reason to get outdoors, get out of their apartments and in the fresh air. “It’s lots of exercise,” said Rosaline. “We meet other people from other countries. We are happy. We are all family so we love it, although we don’t speak the same language.”
They also meet new people and form new friendships and support systems. “I know that some of our gardeners struggle with depression and PTSD, and being able to be at the garden lifts their spirits and in one case actually a reason to keep going,” explained Storm, recalling a woman who told her that being able to participate in the garden actually kept her alive. Storm remembered a conversation with a Somali man last year who told her, "I have diabetes, and high blood pressure, without the garden I would be sitting in my apartment alone. At the garden I can get exercise, fresh air and I can be around other people and make new friends.”
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Thirty-year-old Dolma, whose family was forced from their home in Bhutan when she was just nine years old, lived in a bamboo home in a refugee camp in Nepal for fourteen years before coming to the U.S. in 2008. The Growing Together gardens are the only place she is aware of that she can garden. She says that when she’s here in the garden with her young sons it brings back happy memories of her childhood in Bhutan, helping her mom and dad in the garden.
In 2010, Lutheran Social Services opened up their property at 3911 20th Avenue South, Fargo, primarily with the elder refugee populations in mind. Storm said many of the older new Americans were really missing their former livelihood― farming. She recalls a Bhutanese man telling her how his father came to him one day and said, "Get me an ox, I need and ox." He had spotted an empty property and wanted an ox to prepare the ground for farming. The son explained that it wasn’t their property and they couldn’t just start a farm there. But the sheer desire that man had speaks volumes to how a person’s connection to the earth through planting and harvesting can be a passionate one.
Storm would like to propose a challenge to this community: “Any church or business or organization that has appropriate green space, consider putting a garden there. Congregation members, neighbors―invite them all to use your space.” By providing our new American neighbors a space and the means to garden in our community is a meaningful way we can allow them to feel “home” again, connecting with each other, and the ground in this community they live in.
A quote by Anne Raver, a long-time
Fatabah, Rosaline and Massa spread amaranth (a species of pigweed) seeds used in their traditional cooking
42
^ Jack Wood assists gardeners at Community Homes garden site
garden writer for the New York Times said: “Gardens, scholars say, are the first sign of commitment to a community. When people plant corn they are saying, let's stay here. And by their connection to the land, they are connected to one another." One of Storm’s favorite stories speaks so well to this. One of the original gardeners, Jeanette, a young single mother from Rwanda, was shy and spoke hardly any English. She worked week after week at the garden with her two sons, one so small she tied him on her back as she worked. “Going to school, working and gardening over the years her English improved, to the point where she can talk to anyone, and her playful personality has really blossomed,” said Storm. She goes on to recall how during one of last year’s harvest sharings, Jeanette hardly took anything. When Storm asked her why she was taking so little, Jeanette replied, “She replied, "I don't come to the garden for the vegetables, I come because you are my friends." [AWM]
DO
YOU HAVE A SPACE AVAILABLE
for a community garden and need some help getting started? Contact Nola Strom with Growing Together – nstorm53@gmail.com
areawomanmagazine.com 43
POWER OF
For half a century the Lakes & Prairies Community Action Partnership has been working to eliminate poverty in Clay and Wilkin counties through family and community building. That’s fifty years of providing comprehensive Head Start services to preschoolers from low-income families, fifty years of helping seniors stay in their homes, fifty years of helping parents find quality childcare, and fifty years of helping those in need put healthy food on the table. It all adds up to a tremendous amount of support and positive change.
And yet if there’s one birthday present Lakes & Prairies desires most as it turns fifty on August 3, it is greater familiarity among those in their service area with who they are and what they do. Because their agency comprises more than 30 programs and services, Lakes & Prairies staff sometimes find it challenging to share their story in a succinct way. It’s difficult to reduce their network of services and organizational partnerships to sound bites.
Words by Gwendolyn Hoberg
This intricacy is intentional; a key attribute of Lakes & Prairies. Lori Schwartz, director of operations, explained, “We empower families by giving them a combination of tools and supports as they work to achieve their goals―not ours. We engage communities because we know it is not one agency or program or service that creates opportunity but the combination of assistance and opportunities that together makes the difference in an individual’s or family’s life.” If the causes of poverty were simple, the solutions might be too. But Lakes & Prairies believes the complex reality of poverty necessitates a multi-faceted approach.
Lakes & Prairies was among the first Community Action Agencies to be incorporated during President Lyndon Johnson’s War on Poverty in the 1960s. The agency’s three divisions are Head Start, Child Care Aware of MN Northwest, and Family & Community Services. Like Lakes & Prairies, Head Start is celebrating its 50th birthday this year. This national program of education for three- and four-year-olds was the first program of Lakes & Prairies back when its name was the Clay-Wilkin Opportunity Council.
THE
PARTNERSHIPS: FIFTY YEARS OF COMMUNITY ACTION IN CLAY AND WILKIN COUNTIES
Photography by Kensie Wallner Photography
Emily Holt, Minnesota Parent Aware Recruiter and Tara Wateland, Minnesota Child Care Consultant
44
Lori Schwartz, director of operations
Another program benefitting area children is Rainbow Bridge Safe Exchange and Visitation, which serves children and families in Fargo-Moorhead and the surrounding area. Rainbow Bridge is an example of how crucial partnerships―both formal and informal― are to Lakes & Prairies, Schwartz said. “Our relationships with local police departments, sheriff departments, the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center and many judges and lawyers form an important network that we, families and children can rely on.”
In the midst of Fargo-Moorhead’s cultural moment of entrepreneurial enthusiasm, something Lakes & Prairies likes to point out is that it has a history of being a start-up agency. “For instance, we were very much a part of forming the rural senior centers in towns throughout Clay County,” Schwartz said, “including helping them form and fund their own independent non-profit organizations. And we started WIC when there was no county agency doing that. Now there is. These programs, like many others, continue today but as other organizations. In recent years we have started new programs or services related to preventing homelessness, the exchange and visitation center and a free tax site. None of these were being offered by other organizations.”
As it turns fifty, the Lakes & Prairies Community Action Partnership is celebrating not only its service to those in need, but also how it is able to benefit Wilkin and Clay counties as a whole. “Just in our local service area in the last eight years, more than $10 million has been refunded to low– and moderate-income families, with an estimated 70 percent, perhaps more, of those dollars spent locally,” Schwartz reported. “That’s at least $7 million received by landlords, grocery stores, gas stations, and retail stores. That’s families having the down payment for a car so they can maintain their employment.” And that’s the power of partnerships to make a difference. [AWM]
areawomanmagazine.com 45
Matthew’s Voice Project
Bringing Youth Homelessness out of the Shadows
MVP MVP
Fargo, Moorhead and West Fargo have seen their share of growth and new developments over the past several years. Businesses and apartment buildings have been replacing vast expanses of open prairie and farmland and new faces are filling both stores and classrooms alike. Hidden in the shadows of the boon and bustle of this increased growth however, has been a disturbing upwards trend in the number of homeless and unaccompanied youth, or youth with no parents or guardians active in their lives. In the 2014-2015 school year, the Fargo Public School District alone identified approximately 200 students as experiencing homelessness. That same year the school district’s homeless liaison, Jan Anderson, “provided support to 70-80 students per day.”
With overflowing shelters, a lack of resources and families already doubled up with other families, many of these youth become extremely vulnerable and yet are almost invisible to the general public, struggling with completing school while also trying to ensure that their basic needs are being met. Though federal grants have been implemented in districts such as the Fargo Public Schools to help address this issue, Anderson said that “the schools can only do so much.”
In 2011, Jenny Schuster, a local Park Company Realtor with a background in photography, became aware of the struggles that these homeless and unaccompanied youth face. Driven by the thought of “what am I doing to change the world, to make the world a better place?,” she volunteered her time and skills and joined efforts with photographer Michelle Warren to provide free senior photo sessions to the youth. Delving further and connecting with Anderson, Schuster realized that milestone events such as graduations and senior photos were often beyond the reach of a youth struggling with basic needs such as having a safe place to stay every night, and subsequently Matthew’s Voice Project (MVP) was born.
As a grassroots, collaborative effort with the Fargo Public Schools and with support from community members and Park Company Realtors (which has identified MVP as one of their supported charities), MVP works to fill the gap that federal grants and
Words by Marie Laska
Photography by Dennis Krull, 5foot20 Design Lounge
46
Left to Right: Michelle Warren, Jan Anderson and Jenny Schuster
schools are unable to, focusing on everything from “building awareness and raising funds to helping at-risk youth with finding shelter, having toiletries, school supplies and necessary clothing.” As Anderson explained, “the heart and soul of this effort is through building relationships, and the key is to support these kids through high school so that they can graduate.” Noting that these kids can often be seen wandering around 24-hour establishments at 2 a.m. (for both safety and warmth), Anderson said that with MVP, “the kids finally have a voice.” Michelle Warren explained, “Most of these kids don’t have a choice as to their situations. No one knows what they have gone through, and it really shifts your mindset on what is a good day or a bad day.”
Though MVP is currently collaborating strictly with Fargo Public Schools, Schuster hopes that with increased awareness and fundraising this initiative will spread to other school districts and communities. “This had started as a tiny thing and now we’re starting to see a domino effect. We would love to see a mentoring program develop and eventually our goal is to provide a safe house. These children are our future and if we don’t show kindness, caring and compassion to them, how will they know how to show it to others?”
Community members who wish to help out are invited to bring donations directly to Schuster at the Park County Realtors’ office at 28 10th St. N. Often needed items by the students include bath sets, towels, pillows and pillow cases, boys jeans, hoodies, undergarments and gift cards. [AWM]
FOR FURTHER INFORMATION
on Matthew’s Voice Project please email Jenny at JennySchuster@ParkCompany.com or call 701-729-5851
areawomanmagazine.com 47
OUT OF THE DARKNESS
Shining a light on suicide prevention and awareness
Mother and daughter, Mary and Brenda Weiler are a true force in the battle to change the stigma surrounding mental illness and suicide in the Fargo-Moorhead area. This September 13, Mary and Brenda are organizing the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) North Dakota Chapter’s tenth anniversary “Out of the Darkness Walk” in Fargo. The walk raises money for prevention and awareness of suicide and depression, and provides a venue for people to come together around these issues. “It’s an important community event to show those who are struggling that we support them and that there is no shame in depression,” said Brenda. “I’ve met people at the walk who have never spoken about their loss, even when it was over twenty years ago.”
Words and Photography by Jill Ockhardt
48
A picture of Jennifer Weiler, who died of suicide in 2005, framed by the hands of her mother and sister.
Mary and Brenda’s work to change public policy and erase the stigma surrounding depression and suicide began not long after Jennifer Weiler, who is Mary’s daughter and Brenda’s sister, died of suicide ten years ago at the age of 33. The Weiler family felt first hand both the pressures of how suicide was viewed by others, and the very intimate and personal feelings of loss and guilt that affected them.
“The grief was far greater and harder than I have ever experienced,” said Mary. “I had talked with Jen by phone on Tuesday, and she died on Thursday. I felt responsible―I analyzed the phone conversation over and over in my head for months.”
Looking at old photographs of Jen with Mary and Brenda, the resemblance between Brenda and her sister is striking. Brenda compared losing a sibling to losing an arm―you learn to live without it, but things are never quite the same again. She explains that no matter how you lose someone, one of the biggest struggles is to continue with the day-to-day activities of “living” yourself. Brenda said that she and her siblings found a lot of strength from watching how their parents continued on. “But not until I had [my own daughter] did I begin to understand the pain and loss my mom has gone through,” said Brenda.
The Weiler’s largely supported each other through open and frank communication. “Conversations in our family started with asking what we could do for others who have had similar experiences,” said Mary. Since asking those questions, the Weilers have been busy.
At the beginning of the family’s journey, Mary called the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and told them she wanted to start a North Dakota chapter. From there, she and Brenda organized the first “Out of the Darkness Walk” in Fargo. Over 240 people
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attended the first walk and they raised over $25,000 to help fund suicide prevention activities and research in the state. Mary says it was a clear message to her family that they were addressing a real need in the area for people who’ve never been able to talk about how suicide has affected them, let alone come together as a community about this issue.
Mary and her husband Bill Weiler then started a survivor of suicide loss support group in Fargo that still meets once a month. Mary notes that for every suicide, there are usually six to seven survivors. “That type of loss is really different,” said Brenda. “I think giving people the opportunity to be with other people who understand is huge.”
The Weilers have provided programs for suicide prevention and awareness education in high schools and colleges, and for military and law enforcement; Mary represented the AFSP at the ND State Capital to promote public policy in support of their efforts; and their most recent achievement was starting a suicide loss survivor outreach program, where trained volunteers to go into the home of the recently bereaved and provide support, understanding and resources. “That’s something that was really needed here,” said Mary.
Brenda and Mary said there is a lot more being said about suicide since the start of their journey ten years ago. “I think this generation has had a huge impact on how open they are,” said Mary. “The stigma doesn’t affect them like it did mine and especially my dad’s generation.” Obituaries are starting to say, “after a long battle with depression,” instead of omitting the cause of death. It’s being talked about at prayer and funeral services. “The stigma is that mental illness is different from other illnesses,” said Brenda. “But what’s changing,” added Mary, “is people are starting to understand that suicide isn’t a weakness or selfish act. The stressors exceed the current coping abilities. Depression is the most common condition associated with suicide, and when unaddressed, it increases the risk for suicide.”
Mary said the public image is changing too. From PR and marketing images of survivor’s backs, portraying the guilt and shame aspects of survival―to front and center images of survivors looking the viewer straight on. “We’re sending a message that we are here,” said Mary. “We are going to fight this, we are speaking out, we are survivors.”
The AFSP events are vital to their mission. They help support survivors and those with lived experience, and they help fundraise for suicide prevention and awareness
AFSP Out of the Darkness Walk
Mary Weiler and Nicole Gibson, AFSP Senior Manager of State Advocacy, at the ND State Capital
o
Mother and daughter Mary Weiler and Brenda Weiler look at a family photo album
programs around the state. November 21 is the International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day gathering in several parts of the state. Three “Ride to Silence the Stigma” motorcycle rides and a golf scrambler dot the state this year. And the biggest event in Fargo, the “Out of the Darkness Walk,” takes place on September 13, beginning and ending at Lindenwood Park. Speakers, kids activities, a counseling tent and teams of people will come together to join efforts around the country, raising awareness and funds that allow the AFSP to invest in new research, create educational programs, advocate for public policy and support survivors of suicide loss.
“The walk can be a very empowering experience, especially for survivors,” said Brenda. “Being surrounded by others who understand and don’t judge can be freeing in many ways.”
The most powerful and meaningful aspect for me is the community embracing, helping and supporting each other,” says Mary. “I have learned to never give up on what life brings you. Never doubt that every bit of kindness, every tender touch can heal what might otherwise have consumed someone, and perhaps consumed ourselves. Human beings need other human beings to survive.” [AWM]
SIGN UP for the “Out of the Darkness Walk” on September 13, 2015 by visiting www.afsp.org or contact Sarah DixonHackey at outofthedarkness14@gmail.com for more information.
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BEING SURROUNDED BY OTHERS WHO UNDERSTAND AND DON’T JUDGE CAN BE FREEING IN MANY WAYS
SUICIDE PREVENTION
Out of the Darkness: Understanding and Preventing Suicide through Research, Education and Advocacy
Tavia Smith was so unprepared for her name to be called as the Volunteer of the Year at the 2015 YWCA Women of the Year Awards that she deliberately had not written a speech beforehand. However, with over ten years of volunteerism with the North Dakota Chapter of the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (AFSP), Smith has become one of the faces of local efforts supporting those affected by suicide, and for fundraisers for research and prevention of suicide in the Fargo/ Moorhead communities.
It was approximately ten years ago that Mary Weiler, chair of the ND Chapter of the AFSP and now member of the National Board of Directors, contacted Smith, an employee of Gate City Bank in Fargo. Though the call originated due to corporate sponsorships, Smith experienced for the first time a connection with another individual who had experienced suicide loss. It was the Weiler family who, one year after losing their daughter to suicide in 2005, coordinated the first annual “Out of the Darkness” community walk in the F/M community. Raising over $25,000 and attended by hundreds of walkers, this event subsequently laid the groundwork for the foundation of the ND Chapter of the AFSP. This chapter focuses on six main strategies to achieve its mission of saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide: developing volunteers, fundraising, media and public relations, community education and outreach, advocacy and collaboration and survivor initiatives and support groups.
Smith was only 20 years old when her father ended his life and at that time―1987―the subject was extremely taboo in small-town North Dakota and resources were nonexistent. Having also lost her grandfather to suicide, Smith struggled with her grief: “suicide loss is
so different than a typical death. It tends to be a very lonely grieving process and people don’t know what to say.” Using the example of Robin Williams’ passing, Smith explained, “Everyone is struggling with something as mental illness affects people from all walks of life.”
Over the past ten years Smith, in collaboration with Weiler and AFSP, has organized several fundraisers and events to help raise suicide awareness. From a grassroots level of incorporating a Suicide Survivors support group (hosted on the third Thursday of every month at the Atonement Lutheran Church) to the annual September Out of the Darkness Suicide Walk and the West Fargo motorcycle “Ride to Silence the Stigma” (which in 2014 was in memory of Fargo Police Lieutenant Jeff Skuza), Smith stated “a decade ago people were scared to talk about suicide, but now people are reaching out and wanting to help.” With statistics nationwide showing that veterans in particular are experiencing suicide at an alarming rate (currently 22 veterans a day lose their life to suicide), this year’s Ride to Silence the Stigma will be in memoriam of these veterans. West Fargo’s Harley Davidson, the starting point for the ride, will have 22 white crosses on their grounds in symbolic representation of these lives lost.
In addition to joining forces with Fargo’s Veterans Affairs, local school systems, clergy and coroner, Smith and the ND Chapter of the AFSP have also created a Survivors Outreach Program (SOP) working in conjunction with Fargo’s police department. Through this program the police, when attending the scene of a suicide, are accompanied by two SOP members, whose presence supports the family while the police are conducting their investigation. SOP volunteer and ND Chapter board member Jill Brandt
Words by Marie Laska
Photography by Dennis Krull, 5foot20 Design Lounge
Tavia Smith, Volunteer of the Year
52
describes feeling isolated after she lost her sister to suicide four years ago: “I don’t know how I would have made it without AFSP and the support group … I would have had nobody to talk to.”
The AFSP has also created a confidential online screening program for colleges in order to help students learn about available mental health resources. Smith’s daughter Kayla became involved in 2006 after her friend Josh died by suicide. With a background in graphic arts, Kayla has assisted with promotional material for awareness campaigns: “I want people to know the resources that are available.” Discussing how social media tends to be about “highlight reels rather than keeping it real,” Kayla identifies that being open can be difficult for many people but that “coming together and supporting each other is a catalyst for positive change.” Smith, reflecting upon how uplifting it is to be surrounded by the support and love of others who have experienced suicide, simply stated “the word ‘hope’ comes up a lot and allows survivors to move forward.” [AWM]
FOR FURTHER INFORMATION
about upcoming AFSP events or for suicide prevention and support resources, please go to www.afspnd.org, the AFSP-ND Facebook page or email afspnd@gmail.com
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JURY SELECTION –WHAT TO EXPECT
Almost all of us will be called for jury service in our adult lives. Nevertheless, most people do not know what to expect when the notice for jury duty appears in their mailbox.
In North Dakota, prospective jurors are chosen for jury duty from a master list compiled by each county. This master list of eligible jurors is compiled from property tax records, voter lists, motor vehicle registrations, driver’s licenses, and lists of utility customers.
When a person is selected for jury duty, the person must appear at a designated time and location. Once all of the prospective jurors have gathered, the court will randomly call off the names of about half the present jurors to come forward for a process known as “voir dire” meaning “to speak the truth.”
Voir dire, also known as jury selection, is the process in which the judge and attorneys ask prospective jurors a series of questions. In state court, the attorneys will ask the majority of the questions while the judge may ask a few basic questions. In federal court, the judge will ask the majority of the questions while the attorneys may be allowed to ask additional questions. Once the questioning is over, a jury is selected from a pool of the prospective jurors. Juries in North Dakota typically consist of six to 12 jurors.
Ian McLean, an attorney with the Serkland Law Firm in Fargo, North Dakota
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The purpose of questioning the prospective jurors is so that the parties can select a fair and unbiased jury. Jurors will likely be asked a range of questions about their background (i.e., employment, family, experience with the court system), questions about the case (i.e., knowledge of the case, relationship with parties or their attorneys, biases towards any of the parties), and even questions which are meant to relax the jurors (i.e., hobbies, favorite books or television shows).
The questioning process is not designed to embarrass jurors or make them uncomfortable, it is designed to select fair and unbiased jurors. However, it is natural for jurors to feel uncomfortable speaking in front of a large amount of strangers. This is even more true when the juror’s answer to a question may be uncomfortable to say in front of a group of strangers (i.e., criminal history, traumatic experiences, etc.). If you feel uncomfortable about a certain answer to a question, you may always request permission to provide the answer to the lawyers/judge in private.
During the questioning of jurors, the court may recuse certain prospective jurors for “cause.” For instance, if a prospective juror believes he or she cannot be fair for whatever reason in the case, the judge will likely dismiss the prospective juror. Once the questioning has ended, the parties will take turns passing back and forth a sheet of paper in which they take turns striking prospective jurors until they are down to the agreed upon size of the jury. The remaining jurors constitute the jury.
FOR MORE INFORMATION, call 232-8957, email at imclean@serklandlaw. com or visit www.serklandlaw.com.
* This article should not be considered legal advice and should not be relied upon by any person with respect to his/her specific situation.
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FINDING FAMILY
at the homeward animal shelter
The Homeward Animal Shelter of FargoMoorhead is primarily a pound rescue organization dedicated to rescuing dogs and cats at risk of being euthanized at local impounds. Each year, we adopt out hundreds of wonderful pets that just need a second chance at finding a “forever” home. We have a variety of pets available for adoption, from puppies and kittens to senior pets and everything in between, and almost any breed, including purebreds. Next time you’re considering adopting a pet, please check out our shelter and consider giving a pet in need a home.
Have questions? Give us a call!
• www.facebook.com/HomewardAnimalShelter • (701) 239-0077
www.homewardonline.org
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Gypsy
Naya Lee Zeus
STYLE
Capturing the moments that matter is why we seek out professional photographers. The photographers featured here are some of the best in the area. When considering style, be sure to check out the shopping guide for inspiration. If you're thinking about a getaway with some gal pals, read through our handy guide for planning the right trip for your personality. And meet the women of Modern Textiles all in this edition of Area Style. Image provided by Fowlers.
IT ALWAYS PROTECTS, ALWAYS TRUSTS, ALWAYS HOPES, ALWAYS PERSEVERES. LOVE NEVER FAILS.
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Scherling Photography
Scherling Photography
Kensie Wallner Photography
Ben Nash Photography
Ben Nash Photography
Kensie Wallner Photography
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Ockhardt Photography
YOU HAVE PUT GLADNESS IN MY heart
Ockhardt Photography
Ashley Oberholtzer Photography
Scherling Photography
Scherling Photography
Ockhardt Photography
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Scherling Photography
fowlers
CS'well Bottle: Sophisticated and tough water bottles made from double walled, insulated stainless steel keeps your water cold for 24 hours and your coffee hot for 12 hours.
210 Broadway N #101, Fargo (701) 356-7778
WHERE TOSHOP
BScheels
Represent your spirit and team pride with The Original Spirit Jersey from Fusion Boutique. Fashionable, comfortable and made in the USA. Go Bison! Available at Fusion Boutique.
Located inside Scheels Home & Hardware 3202 13th Ave S, Fargo (701) 232-8903 | scheelshomeandhardware.com
SKripts Pharmacy
A full-service pharmacy that provides medications, immunizations, and Pet meds. **no membership needed to use pharmacy
S
Located inside Costco (701) 281-2222 | skriptspharmacy@gmail.com
DALBOL FLOWERS
Sunrise, sunset, swiftly fly the days. This delightful arrangement will brighten anyone's morning, noon and night!
1450 25th St S, Fargo (701) 235-5864 | dalbolflowers.com
fargo | moorhead
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Mainstream Boutique
Crochet Everything is SO on Trend! We are loving this little boho inspired top with small bell sleeves.
2603 Kirsten Ln S #103, Fargo (701) 356-6684 | www.mainstreamboutique.com
FCentre for Hair
GWear the Roundabouts Cooling Headband as you work out or play sports to stay cool up to 4 hours. Many colors available! These are the same awesome headbands found at the Street fair!
Downtown Moorhead | (218) 236-6000 www.centreforhairandwellness.com
JHeirlooms
Heirlooms recently revamped its gift shop! We now carry a wide selection of kitchen accessories, including TAG products.
3120 25th St S, Fargo (701) 356-2670 | www.hrrv.org/heirlooms
FPrairie Rose Meadery
Our 3 cheese plate is served with a selection of olive and nut accoutrements and crackers. (selection of 3 cheeses from those available - can change daily). Salame and another cheese can be added for an additional charge. $13.50
3101 39th St S Suite E, Fargo prairierosemeadery.com
Pinch & Pour
Experience the explosion of exotic flavors from our array of fragrant salts.
210 Broadway N, Fargo (701) 356-7779
Rareawomanmagazine.com 65
GIRLFRIEND GETAWAY FUN IN THE BRAINERD LAKES AREA
Anyone who is routinely caught up the hectic pace of working 9-5 knows that there is nothing more revitalizing than a weekend of fun with the besties. For those who are more adventurous, an action-packed weekend of water sports is the perfect fit while others may crave the peace and tranquility of shopping, yoga and pampering. Whatever your style or preference, the “perfect” girlfriend getaway is one filled with laughter, fun and new experiences.
The Olde Open Window: This charming and unique retail business offers "Inspiration for Your Home, Body & Soul." The Olde Open Window features vintageinspired clothing, primitives, accessories, 1803 Soy Candles & Melts and locally handmade unique jewelry. This antiques and vintage gift shop has become a destination for visitors, and owner Lynda Mettler is proud to offer a “store within a store” with the addition of cabin décor accents from Cozy Cabin. The Olde Open Window is located at 604 Laurel Street in the heart of downtown Brainerd.
Madden's on Gull Lake: Looking for some “down time” to go along with your “fun time?” Guests to this premier lakes area resort can indulge in superb dining and wines or play some of the finest golf in Minnesota; either way a visit to Madden's is a “must do” when visiting the Brainerd Lakes Area. But this visit wouldn't be complete without a stop at The Spa at Madden's for an afternoon of relaxation and pampering. With a stunning lake view and relaxing plantation-style architecture just a few feet from Gull Lake, The Spa at Madden's is the destination spa of choice, offering the entire relaxation services guest expect from a luxury resort. Their unique menu of spa services includes massage, facial treatments, manicures and pedicures. To book your girlfriend spa getaway, go here: http://www.maddens.com/the-spa-at-maddens.html
Water Fun: The saying, “there’s something in the water” takes on a whole new meaning in the Brainerd Lakes Area. If your girlfriend getaway includes a mission to
Article provided by Rebecca Flansburg
Water fun
Go Wild!
The Olde Open Window
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Madden's on Gull Lake
enjoy water fun and lots of sun―you are in luck. Businesses like Boats & Beyond Rentals and Lake Fun Rentals will help to make lake time even more enjoyable. If you are in the mood for something a little mellower, paddleboarding is a peaceful and tranquil water sport that is a great way to have fun and burn some calories! If a lazy day of standup paddleboarding sounds appealing, check out local businesses like MnSurf.com and PowerPaddleMn.com for everything from lessons for paddleboard yoga to gear rental.
Go Wild! If your idea of fun includes riding a camel, holding colorful parakeets and hand-feeding a charming giraffe named Puzzles, Safari North Wildlife Park needs to be added to your getaway weekend itinerary. Open from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m., seven days a week, Safari North boasts amazing exhibits including, striped hyenas, red kangaroos, macaws, African porcupines, lynx, a black spotted leopard, coatimundi, nigali antelope, bears, zebras, water buffalo, fallow deer, rheas and much more. New to the park this year is Gator Falls; an exciting chance to see one of the largest exhibits of alligators in the Midwest. So if your getaway group is comfortable keeping company with exotic furry and feathered friends, Safari North Wildlife Park is a great place to create some memorable experiences. To learn more about this wildlife park, visit them on the web at: http://safarinorth.com/plan-a-visit.html
Whether you want to sit, relax and unwind or dive into the culture and outdoor recreation, the Brainerd Lakes Area has many opportunities for decompressing with your gal pals. [AWM]
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A PASSION FOR FABRIC
If Connie Biselx and Roxanne Beauvais could describe themselves in one word, that word would be “intentional” (but only because they’re too modest to say “adorable”).
The two women own Modern Textiles, a fabric boutique located in downtown Fargo. Although the store has only been open for about a year and a half, Biselx and Beauvais have been business partners for longer; the two started out selling bolts of fabric at small craft shows and at UnGlued in Fargo before making the plunge into entrepreneurship.
“We always tell people to start small with what they have,” Beauvais said. “It’s going to be more work than you imagine it will be, but it’ll be worth it.”
The way to deal with that workload? Be intentional.
“You simply have to be intentional about everything,” Beauvais said, mentioning that balancing work and family life is just one example of such a thing.
Biselx agreed, adding that “having
extremely understanding husbands and a business partner with the same commitments is a plus.”
Although the duo originally started out with less than 10 bolts of fabric, they now offer a mesmerizing assortment of fabrics as well as tools, patterns, kits, craft books and classes. Their advice for other entrepreneurs comes down to a simple recipe.
“You need three ingredients for a business,” Beauvais said. “You need to have the right idea in the right place at the right time.”
They admit, though, that it isn’t as easy as it sounds.
“You also have to be prepared for the notso-fun things,” Biselx said. “So, make sure you make time for the things you love and really invest in them, because that investment will pay off.”
Both women have a visible passion for fabric and crafting, but they agreed that the best part of the job is getting to experience their customers’ creativity.
Words and Photography by Meagan Pittelko
Fabric store Modern Textiles inspires limitless creativity
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Left to Right: Roxanne Beauvais and Connie Biselx
“Knowing that we can be a small part of encouraging our customers to make things is amazing,” Beauvais said. “One customer was telling us how much she loved our store the other day. She said, ‘I feel limitless in my creativity when I’m in here.’ And that was incredible to hear.”
In addition to customers who have already found their creativity, the women said that they often meet customers who never thought of themselves as creative until they had the opportunity to sit down and try a sewing class or experiment with fabrics.
“Being a small part of that creative journey allows us to encourage them and to watch them grow in their creativity,” Biselx said. “At our classes, we make sure that you get to finish your project while you’re here. That way, you get to go home and make more with the skills you learned and you really feel like you accomplished something.”
Modern Textiles offers a variety of classes, from Sewing 101 (in sessions for children and adults!) to Bucket Totes. The women also offer an array of garment classes, in which they teach guests to make everything from children’s dresses and scarves to elastic waist skirts and button-up shirts. A full list of class availability, pricing and registration details is available at the Modern Textiles webpage.
Overall, Biselx and Beauvais have cultivated a business that they hope will continue to spark creativity in the Fargo-Moorhead community.
“We love to create,” Beauvais said. “We had this shared passion for fabric and now we get to share that passion with the community.” [AWM]
VISIT
http://www.moderntextiles.net/ for additional information and a brand new online store. Modern Textiles is located at 17 7th St S in Fargo, ND.
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HEALTH
We all strive to take care of our bodies and minds. Sometimes taking care of yourself includes seeking out safe and effective cosmetic treatments through Sanford Dermatology & Laser Clinic. Other times it means spending time in physical therapy with the team at Bodyworks. And sometimes it's when we are taking care of others, like Cassie Skalicky does for families in the NICU at Essentia, that we are really able to heal. Read more about these ways to heal in this edition of Area Health. Image provided by Sanford Health.
BRINGING OUT INNER BEAUTY
Boost your confidence with simple cosmetic procedures
Your smile is usually something people notice right away. It’s a sign of friendliness, openness and joy. But what if you don’t love your smile? That is how Jenna had been feeling.
“When I smiled, you could really see my gums,” said Jenna Hochstein. “And that always bothered me. I was a little selfconscious about it and I wanted to do something to change that.”
Hochstein went to Sanford Dermatology & Laser Clinic in Fargo, N.D., to see if there was something the team could do to help her feel more confident and comfortable in her own skin.
“I originally just thought about getting my lips enhanced,” said Hochstein. “I thought that would get me the results I wanted. And alone it probably would have been fine, but after speaking with Bekki at the clinic, she formulated a plan that was tailored made just for me and would give me exactly what I wanted.”
Bekki Hill is an aesthetic registered nurse specialist. She is one of the team members at the clinic available to listen to your concerns, discuss the options available to
you and develop the best plan for you.
“We are not here to point out your flaws,” said Hill. “We really just want you to be happy in your skin. Clearly Jenna was beautiful before she had the procedures but this was something we did to really pull out that natural beauty.”
Hill noticed that Hochstein’s cheek muscles were especially strong and that is why when she smiled, her cheeks would pull the sides of her mouth higher and show her gums. Hill suggested that in addition to the lip enhancement, Hochstein could receive a few Botox® injections above her upper lip to relax those muscles.
“Before we did anything, Bekki and I talk through it all together and decided this was the best way to move forward to get me the results I was looking for,” said Hochstein.
With just a few quick pricks of a needle, Hochstein’s procedures were complete. The Botox® injections she received will last between three to four months while the lip injections will last a bit longer.
“For her lips, she had extra capacity to tolerate a filler so we used Juvederm®,”
Words by Erin Heinert Photography by Travis Jensen
“If you want to enhance a part of yourself, your wish is definitely attainable.” – Jenna Hochstein
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said Hill. “This is an injectable gel made from a sugar that is naturally produced in the body. We use a topical anesthetic and then administer it through a very fine needle. In the lips, this will last five to six months, but depending on where you inject it, it could last one to two years.”
Hochstein experienced almost no side effects after the procedures. She mentioned a slight pain in her lips from the injections, but that quickly went away. Now one month after she received her treatments, Hochstein is feeling great and is so pleased with her choices.
“My smile is beautiful,” said Hochstein. “It is even and you can’t see my gums anymore. I just feel so much more confident in my appearance. I feel beautiful. And I would say if you want to enhance a part of yourself, your wish is definitely attainable.”
TAKING CARE OF YOUR SUMMER SKIN
Summer is winding down, but the effects of long hours in the sun will last well into fall. Bekki Hill is an aesthetic RN specialist and says there are a number of things you can do to help repair and prevent sun damage.
• Laser treatment – Quickly and conveniently remove sun and age spots after a season of sun. Any sun tanning of the skin must be completely gone before receiving this treatment.
• Microdermabrasion – Return your skin’s youthful appearance and smoothness with this treatment that can safely and effectively address sun damage.
• Sunscreen and moisturizers –Fargo Dermatology & Laser Clinic has a wide variety of skincare products for all skin types. We can help you find the right products for your specific needs.
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BODY PAIN IS A DAILY DRAIN
Words
There is an old joke that most people who have experienced Physical Therapy have heard―that PT really stands for “Pain and Torture.” That’s not the case at a local female-owned physical therapy clinic. Amanda Helgoe, PT, DPT and her team are showing patients in the Fargo-Moorhead community that the road to feeling better can be a pleasant experience.
In 2010, Helgoe founded Bodyworks Physical Therapy in Fargo, because she wanted to create a tranquil place for healing. Helgoe grew up in Fargo, received her Doctorate in Physical Therapy from the University of Minnesota and immediately moved to Arizona. While there, she worked at a large outpatient clinic system and felt that patients were being run through the clinic without enough personal attention. She vowed then and there to treat her patients differently.
A year later, Helgoe and her husband, Jeremy, moved back to Fargo. She worked in Fargo for several years, eventually coming up with her vision for the clinic. Bodyworks Physical Therapy is the only solely female-owned PT clinic in Fargo and you can feel the difference when you walk through the doors. That vision and feel was apparent and appreciated by patient Deb Mohagen. “All of a sudden, you realize you can’t bend over and pick up your grandchild who is running towards you with open arms. You try to unload the dishwasher, but can’t stand bent over because of the pain. You try to go shopping with friends, but the pain in your back is too much,” Mohagen said. She continued, “After 30+ years of nursing, my back had given up on me. I had learned to live with it most of the time, but each day it was taking away more and more of the things I loved to do. I went to a doctor appointment and she recommended physical therapy. I
had my doubts, as I had tried it before, yet it never seemed to last long. Yes, I became pain free for a short time, but I never felt as though I grew stronger. I still couldn’t add activities back into my life that most people take for granted. I decided to give it one more try. I was given a referral to Amanda Helgoe, PT, DPT at Bodyworks. I was so surprised at the beautiful spa-like and peaceful atmosphere of Bodyworks, as well as the fantastic staff. We set goals and before long I was babysitting for my grandchildren, doing everyday chores around the house without pain, plus doing exercises I never imagined I could do. I can’t imagine where I would be if Bodyworks had not been a part of my life. Thanks Amanda, you changed my life!”
Changing lives is what Bodyworks is about. Patients are treated by one of the three accomplished physical therapists on staff. Claire Grunewald and Drew Zimmerman, both doctors of physical therapy joined Helgoe and carry her same vision. Together they use manual therapy skills, including muscle energy technique, joint mobilization and myofascial release, combined with customized exercise programs designed to treat the source of the problem and return their patients back to their lives as quickly as possible.
Helgoe said the most commonly treated injuries treated at Bodyworks are neck and back pain in both women and men. It is estimated that nearly 60-80% of people experience back pain in their lifetime. Most people are unaware that PT is even a treatment option for them when they are suffering from this condition. She said, “We see people with many different presentations of back pain, from sacroiliac joint and hip pain, to herniated discs and sciatica. Many have mechanical pain like trouble moving from sitting to standing or rolling in bed. Many are also seen with
^ Amanda Helgoe, PT, DPT
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by Amanda McKinnon of MSPIRE Photography by Dennis Krull, 5foot20 Design Lounge
neck, upper back and rib pain, which can be quite limiting for daily function and is very treatable.”
Even as a PT, Helgoe can relate to her patients suffering from lower back pain. After two pregnancies and six weeks of bed rest with one of them, she was left with a lot of pain and instability in her pelvis, lower back, upper back and rib cage. Through PT intervention and a concerted effort at strengthening, she is now pain-free and can definitely empathize with her patients. Helgoe feels this type of postpartum pain is common and effects a largely underserved population.
The team at Bodyworks utilizes their gentle approach and treats patients with the highest quality of care. All treatments are started in a private treatment room and patients are only treated one-on-one by a physical therapist. They also have a full gym for when patients are ready to begin the strengthening phase of their treatment. “Most of our patients begin to feel better after their first treatment and ask themselves why they couldn’t have found us sooner,” noted Helgoe.
In addition to neck and back pain, the PT’s at Bodyworks treat shoulder, knee, elbow, TMJ and ankle pains, strains, and injuries. They see people who choose Bodyworks for rehabilitation after joint surgeries. They have a special table for treatment of pregnant women and treat women of all ages with incontinence and pelvic pain. They help many people with vertigo and balance disorders. Zimmerman has also received certification to utilize dry needling in treatment of trigger points or “knots” in muscles. [AWM]
TO LEARN MORE
about Bodyworks, check out their website: www.bodyworksfargo.com or stop in at 3242 20th St. South in Fargo and discover their unique healing approach yourself (minus the pain and torture!)
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CASSIE PROVIDES COMFORT AND SUPPORT TO TINY BABIES’ FAMILIES
Words by Jodie Tweed | Photography by Scott Thuen of Thuen Studios
Deep in her heart, Cassie Skalicky knows she is doing exactly what God intended her to do. Still, there are days when she leaves the Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at Essentia Health-Fargo in tears.
As the NICU family support specialist, Skalicky provides comfort, support and education to parents whose babies are born prematurely or experiencing a health crisis. Not so long ago, she and her husband, Jason, walked in their shoes.
Early on New Year’s Day in 2010, Skalicky gave birth to twins four months early. Natalie and Andrew were FargoMoorhead’s first babies of 2010.
Skalicky had experienced complications about 16 weeks into her pregnancy and was hospitalized for bed rest after Christmas in 2009. While doctors did everything they could, they were unable to stop the contractions. Andrew and Natalie were born at 23 weeks, three days -- right on the edge of viability. Natalie died 111/2 hours later. Andrew, who weighed 1
pound, 3 ounces, spent 138 days in the hospital. He came home on May 18, three weeks after the April 27 due date.
Andrew’s occupational therapist told Skalicky about the part-time NICU job funded by Essentia Health and the March of Dimes. Essentia Health-Fargo is the only hospital in North Dakota that offers the program.
Skalicky is not a medical professional or social worker. Instead she provides NICU parents with educational information from the March of Dimes. She discusses the benefits of skin-to-skin care and lets them know what they can expect both in the NICU and when they bring their baby home. She also visits mothers hospitalized for bed rest and offers them a journal and something to do for their baby, like making a tie blanket.
Most of all, her job is to listen. She’s a hug and a shoulder to cry on. She’s there to celebrate the many good things that occur in the NICU. She helps honor parents on holidays and birthdays. On Mother’s Day
and Father’s Day, parents receive keepsake gifts from their babies. She organizes scrapbooking sessions for parents and holiday craft projects for siblings.
“I’m there to help the families have the best experience possible while they’re in the NICU,” Skalicky explained. “I really encourage families to be as hands-on with their babies as possible. We really support family-centered care.”
Skalicky formed a parents’ club where NICU parents can earn points to win prizes for changing diapers, taking temperatures, giving baths and learning about their child’s diagnosis.
“A NICU is such a daunting place to go into,” Skalicky said. “The babies are so tiny and they have cords and tubes.” NICU Clinical Supervisor Vicki Holtan said parents appreciate Skalicky’s support, and so does her nursing staff.
“Parents just love her. When she’s around, you just feel good,” Holtan said. “Even when things aren’t going well, she’s there
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Cassie Skalicky of Fargo gets a hug her son Andrew, who was born at only 23 weeks. Cassie works as the family support specialist in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit at Essentia Health-Fargo.
to help the situation be the best it can be. I’m so happy to see her when she’s here because I know she’s making connections with our families. She’s as important to our NICU as any of our experienced nurses. She brings that much to the table.”
If a mother miscarries or a baby dies, Skalicky provides support. She often shares her own story and assures them that there is life after the pain.
“Moms and dads always ask me if the pain ever goes away,” Skalicky said. “No, there are days that are terrible. But there is life all around me. There are times when I’ve gotten home, broke down and lost it. But God put me in this place for a reason. I really believe that with my whole heart.”
“Cassie has walked every step of the experiences that she’s helping these parents go through,” said Holtan. “She’s learned what it’s like to live through all that, and it makes her the perfect person to support people who are on similar journeys.”
Skalicky hasn’t forgotten what it felt like each night as she left the NICU without Andrew: “It’s like being dropped in the middle of an ocean and you don’t know what the weather is going to be or if you’re going to make it to shore.”
Andrew had two serious brain bleeds in the NICU. He had part of his intestines removed, minor heart surgery and surgery to save his eyesight.
Now five and headed to kindergarten, Andrew loves to play outside with his friends and pick on his older sister, Grace. “He should not have survived most of the things that happened to him,” Skalicky said. “He’s definitely a miracle, no doubt about it.”
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HOME
Owning a home can be a great joy, but it is also a great responsibility. The team at Rebuilding Together recognizes that sometimes homeowners need a bit of help around the house to maintain safety and comfort. Read more about their efforts in the edition of Area Home. And walk through another beautifully built home from Jordahl Custom Homes.
Image provided by Ockhardt Photography.
REBUILDING TOGETHER: REPAIRING HOMES AND IMPROVING LIVES
Lynn moved to Fargo from out of state in 1980, thinking she’d stay just long enough to gain some work experience and then move on. Thirty-five years later Lynn is still here, in the 1930s home she fell in love with. A few years ago she was hit hard by her depression, an illness that can be situational and temporary for some, but for others can be a chronic and debilitating presence in their lives.
During that difficult time, Lynn’s home repair to-do list began growing. Her garage was broke into and she began worrying that someone could break into her house as well. With the constant strain of depression and a growing list of home repairs, Lynn was overwhelmed, and her sense of security was weakening knowing the doorknobs and locks on her house were in desperate need of replacement.
While Lynn also has a physical disability that limits her dexterity, she is quick not to blame her physical disability for the list of home repairs that piled up. “A lot of this stuff I know how to do, and can physically do myself, but I’m just not doing it. I need that push to get going and it’s so much easier when someone is helping me to do it.”
One day at work, Lynn overheard a co-worker talking about Rebuilding Together. Lynn went online and researched the organization and found out Rebuilding Together offered home repair and renovation services, free of charge, to low-income individuals and families with an emphasis on helping the elderly, people with disabilities and Veterans. She sent in an application, not knowing if the paralyzing effects depression had on her life would be considered a valid reason for her to get some help with fixing things in her home and garage.
A couple weeks later she got a phone call from Rebuilding Together. And the next thing she knew, Ursula Hegvik with Smart Spaces in Fargo was at her house, meeting with her to figure out a plan of attack. Hegvik, a returning volunteer with Rebuilding Together, had been appointed lead project captain. “I just hit it off with her,” said Hegvik. “She can do a lot. It’s amazing what she already has done around her house and she’s just so grateful we’re going to help with the other things she can’t.”
On a sunny Tuesday morning, Hegvik arrives at Lynn’s home with a van full of materials and hardware she needs to make the necessary improvements to Lynn’s home. Hegvik is humbled by the generosity of Fargo’s Home Depot, who, in collaboration with Rebuilding Together, ensured Lynn isn’t just getting whatever leftover, cheap hardware and materials they could provide, but instead the most durable, quality materials they offer in their store. Hegvik also brings her company’s handyman, Jamie Rasmussen, from Smart Spaces, to help out with the job. “He’s just a terrific installer who is handy at a lot more than just building closets,” said Hegvik. But she insists you don’t have to be a professional to help. “Something like just painting a room goes so much faster with more people. There are always little projects that anyone can do.”
Words and Photography by Jill Ockhardt
Jamie Rasmussen, Smart Spaces
Ursula Hegvik, Smart Spaces
Lisa Graalum, Rebuilding Together Program Coordinator
Lisa Graalum, Rebuilding Together’s program coordinator, works as a liaison between homeowners who need help, volunteers who want to give their time and abilities, and donors who graciously give materials, money and professional advice or services. Graalum explained, “By using volunteer labor and receiving discounted and donated materials we estimate that for every dollar we spend, the home is improved by three dollars.”
Graalum said the organization’s official goal is to help low-income homeowners improve the warmth, safety and condition of their home. But she is adamant that Rebuilding Together does so much more. Speaking to both the physical and mental aspects of home ownership, Graalum said, “[After a project] we haven’t just physically repaired their home, but we’ve also helped restore that emotional confidence and pride in homeownership. We keep it affordable to be both safe and healthy in their home.”
Lynn admitted, “I wrote down just about everything I needed to get done [on her application], but I thought even if they only help with one little thing, it’ll still be something.”
After Hegvik and Rasmussen finish installing a new door handle on the walk-in garage door and blinds on the garage windows, Lynn said, “Even if they up and left right now, I’d still be grateful.” Hegvik understands too how the simple act of lending a hand on small tasks can impact the homeowners she helps. “It’s nice to provide these basic services and make a huge difference in Lynn’s day-to-day life. It’s nice to give people some peace of mind.”
[AWM]
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GIVE someone that peace of mind or need some yourself? Contact Lisa Graalum at Rebuilding Together at 701-356-7836, or go to www.rebuildingtogetherfma.org and fill out a volunteer or homeowner application and read more about the people they’ve helped.
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the new CLASSIC
In the cozy spot in the corner of the leather sectional, twelve-year-old Drew plays on the iPad after a seemingly long day at school. His mother, behind him in the kitchen sitting at the island working on her laptop; his dad, nearby, feet kicked out on the sectional’s recliner watching TV and petting the family dog, Bailey (snuggled in as close as she can get). While careers and school life keep them busy each day, this scene is one of calm. Making my way between the rooms of the Jordahl custom home designed and built for Desi and Bob Fleming, I hear the occasional muffled exchange between family members. Each are winding down in their own way before supper―together, but in their own spaces. Among the wide spaces and the materials used in the nuances of the construction, and through talking with the Flemings, I get a real feel for how the layout was planned so perfectly for their lives.
Although their home is brand new, you get a feeling of a more historic home from the custom woodwork and the Fleming’s own well-loved pieces. “I wanted something warm and relaxing,” said Desi. “We went out and searched a few plans, would come back with an idea and they would tweak it. Jordahl helped us put it all together and this is what we landed on.”
Desi and Bob enjoyed utilizing the expertise of Jordahl Custom Homes designer Katie Kern in devising plans for colors and materials. “I love earthy colors,” said Desi, recalling the visionary process. “I wanted something inviting, that wouldn’t be a fad and wouldn’t go out of style.” With Kern’s guidance in achieving a desired neutral canvas, Desi was then able to bring in her own flair for décor. Cool Mediterranean blue hues for pillows and vase accents dot the living area, and rich, warm orange and brown accents of towels and flowers grace the kitchen―items easy to switch out with other accent colors when Desi gets the decorating bug again.
Kern loves her job as Jordahl Custom Homes’ designer, a job often requiring she helps clients find their true home style. When a person lives in a house for so long, years of lamps from this design trend, furniture from that decade, and heirlooms and gifted decorations accumulated over the years can become a mish-mash of design
Words & Photography by Jill Ockhardt
tastes. When the opportunity arises to build a home from scratch, Kern takes the time to recognize and understand her clients’ true style preferences.
In meetings with Desi to design the interior of her Jordahl custom home, Kern found her answers. “Desi’s style is more transitional, a nice mix between traditional and contemporary.” Ordinarily opposites in the design world, Kern proposed ways for the two to effortlessly complement each other. Rich, dark, mocha-stained wide shaker custom cabinetry is offset by a light-reflecting beveled subway tile backsplash. Large, vertically aligned tiles on the fireplace and built-in TV alcove extend to the vaulted ceiling and are surrounded on either side by impressive, nine-foot-tall custom bookshelves and cabinetry which tuck the TV wires and electronics out of sight. Touches of that melding of style can be seen everywhere. Pointing out the woven roman shades and wooden blinds in the dining and living areas, Desi explained, “I would run things like this by Katie and say, ‘This is what I’m thinking,’ and then she would give me her input.”
Follow home-building trends these days and you’ll quickly see that most people are looking for openness in the family living areas. We all know family members or friends who’ve knocked down walls in their homes to open the kitchen up to the dining or living room― removing valuable cabinet and counter space in the name of an open floor plan. The style is so prevalent that I asked Kern why it seemed so uncommon “then,” and so desirable now. Kern brought up two great points. Not only have building enhancements made the wide-open floor plan possible, but also, for most of us, our lifestyles are drastically different
from those of generations past. “Families are found doing what you witnessed the Flemings doing,” explained Kern. “With advanced technology it is nice to keep a close eye on your children and this is done when you don’t have a separate room for everything.”
Bob and Desi let Drew help out with the design of his bedroom and bathroom as well. “It’s fun to get kids involved in the building process, as they are typically excited to get in a new space as well,” said Kern. “I recommend letting them pick things that are easier to change, like a paint color (with some design assistance) instead of a carpet color.”
Kern said the Flemings did a great job of keeping Drew in the loop on home design elements that would impact him the most. When Drew kicks back for fun, he and his friends take over the large finished basement that boasts a spacious TV area, a wet bar, two bedrooms, a full bath and―a must-have for the home-owner eager to entertain―a home theater. “That was Drew’s one request,” said Desi. Dimmable wall lighting and shaker seats that respond to the movie’s audio make this a deluxe entertainment venue right inside their home. And not just for Drew and his buddies, but the adults too. “Over Christmas time we had a whole bunch of us in there,” said Desi.
The basement space created by Jordahl Custom Homes also accommodated the Fargo Force hockey player the Flemings hosted during hockey season. Every year, young men come to Fargo to play a higher level of hockey both after and sometimes during high school. Host families like the Flemings provide a home away from home, a safe and caring place for these young men to live. “This is the third year we’ve done it,” explained Bob. “We’ve had a good experience. The guys we’ve hosted have been great.”
Bob and Desi were impressed with all the freedom and customization options they
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had with Jordahl Custom Homes. The main level laundry room’s pull-out ironing station; the master bedroom’s elegant tray-angled ceiling; the master bathroom’s pocket door and lowered vanity; and a solution for the kitchen area’s “drop zone”―that place in all our homes where we set our phone, mail, keys when we come home. To create some functionality to a space in the Fleming’s kitchen that might otherwise not have been so organized, Jordahl Custom Homes custom designed a catch-all area with drawers, extra closed and open shelving and outlets. Joking, Desi said that while she and Bob have the laptop and occasionally their phones to plug in, Drew seems to have upwards of six things to charge at night. Keeping the devices in the same area and organizing mail and other items, Desi said the area works out well.
The Flemings seem to have settled in nicely. The ease at which they go about their home life reflects how Jordahl Custom Homes seems to have gotten it just right. The Flemings realized their dream of an open floor plan and a home that had all the basic functionality and necessities on one level. “We were thinking about the future,” Desi recalled about the design process. “We wanted this to be the last home we had to build.” With traditional elements in the design and flow of the space, the Flemings achieved their new home dreams. Both Bob and Desi attribute the enjoyable home-building process to Jordahl Custom Homes. “Between the drafting department and the design,” said Bob, “the people over at Jordahl helped us get to where we are now.”
[AWM]
JORDAHL CUSTOM HOMES INC.
701-234-0404
4802 Amber Valley Parkway Fargo, ND 58104
www.jordahlcustomhomes.com
sales@jordahlcustomhomes.com
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PROFILES
The diversity of interests and talents
on display in this edition of Area Profiles is a large part of what makes the F/M area such a unique place to live and work. Read the stories of Wendy Reed, the head of the biological sciences department at NDSU and accomplished author Betty Raum. Catch the enthusiasm of the team behind bringing GiGi's Playhouse to Fargo. And find out what makes Trisha Rutten so passionate about her role with the Alzheimer's Association. Image provided by Ockhardt Photography.
IN SCIENCE
Words by Andrea Arnston
Design Lounge
When Wendy Reed accepted a position as an assistant professor in biological sciences, there were only seven female professors out of 145 full professors employed at NDSU. Fifteen years later, she is the first female to be tenured and promoted to head of the department in biological sciences, a position which many say is one of the most challenging due to the numerous responsibilities that come with it. Reed, however, sees her position as one that allows her to have the most impact on people.
“I feel like I make a positive difference for the careers of the students, faculty and staff in my department, which makes this position very satisfying," she said. “The people I work with motivate me.”
Reed grew up in Alma, Mich., and comes from a family of educators. Her grandparents, father and mother are all school teachers. Continuing the tradition seemed only natural. “I was always interested in traveling, animal biology and the outdoors,” Reed said. “I wanted a career that combined those interests.”
Her college experience, which included graduating with her Bachelor of Arts from Kalamazoo College and moving on to obtain her Ph.D. at Iowa State, greatly influenced her career direction. The two things in particular that gave her the nudge were studying
A SCIENTIFIC SCENARIO: THE IMPORTANCE OF A POSITIVE ROLE MODEL FOR WOMEN
Photography by Dennis Krull, 5foot20
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abroad in Spain and gaining experience from working with a professor―things she strongly advises her students to do.
Her background has provided her with the opportunities to combine her love of science with travel, going places such as Antarctica to study penguins, Chile, India, Germany and across Europe.
“In college, I worked on a project looking at eggs and hatchlings of Double Crested Cormorants and Ring-billed Gulls and I’m still working on bird eggs today!” she said affectionately.
Working in a male-dominated field, Reed reflected on the hurdles women in science have to face that can be gradual, harmful and often times hidden. “I am very aware of the importance of having role models of success and being a positive mentor for other female scientists who are at earlier stages of their careers, hopefully to smooth the road out for others to succeed.”
NDSU has been making strides to help promote and advocate for their female demographic by receiving a National Science Foundation grant (NDSU Forward) to support all faculty of NDSU, regardless of gender. “The grant activities and people have had a significant impact on my development as a leader and mentor in science,” Reed said.
Reed’s next project involves working with husband and supporter Mark. She intends to study a population of Franklin Gull, a species whose breeding grounds are specific to North Dakota and Canadian wetlands where they lay and hatch their eggs before migrating to South America. She’s looking forward to following the path of the Franklin Gull from North Dakota and Canada down to South America and comparing early season hatchlings to late season hatchlings to see what more she can learn from her travels. [AWM]
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WORD PLAY: PROLIFIC AUTHOR’S PATH TO WRITING CHILDREN’S BOOKS
As the author of 110 children’s books (and counting), Betty Raum found the inspiration for her first book in a frisky kid…of sorts. “It started with a runaway goat,” she laughed.
At the time, her husband Rick was pastor of First Presbyterian in downtown Fargo, and the church had staged an outdoor living Nativity scene. Then a member of the stable bolted, igniting Raum’s imagination: “While my son chased that goat through the streets, I thought, ‘Hey, this would make a great children’s book!’” That spark evolved into Follow That Star: A Christmas Story published in 2001 by Ideals Children’s Books.
Finding a publisher tested her perseverance. “I was rejected 26 times before connecting with Ideals,” she said. “It was a matter of finding the right publisher at the right time with the right story.” That same year, two more books―both for adult readers― were accepted by other publishers. Her
career as author Elizabeth Raum took root. Growing up in Vermont, Raum read avidly and dreamed of being a writer. She became an English teacher and honed her skills by writing articles and stories for children’s magazines and other publications, including an essay that appeared in The Washington Post. Raum also obtained a degree in library science and her master’s in English literature.
As a pastor’s wife, she embraced new communities. The Raums came to Casselton, N.D., in the late '70s and then went to other states before landing in Fargo from 1991 to 2003. During that stretch, she worked as an elementary education librarian at Concordia College in Moorhead, further immersing herself in children’s literature.
When they relocated in 2003 to Long Island, N.Y., she began writing full time. “On average, I write 10 books a year, primarily for middle-grade readers across
genres that include educational nonfiction, historical fiction, biographies and Christian books,” Raum said. “My deadlines can be as tight as a few weeks, and sometimes I work on manuscripts for a few years.”
In 2013, the couple moved back to North Dakota, eventually settling in Fargo to be closer to family. “It’s wonderful to be back,” Raum said. “I fell in love with North Dakota and the prairies. So much of me is connected to this region that I include examples whenever I can.” In recent books, she’s referenced German Russian immigrants in the Dakotas, area kids who helped build flood dikes, and the devastating 1957 Fargo tornado.
Many of her books earn industry recognition, including several Junior Library Guild selections. Raum also gets recognition from young fans. She visits area schools, conducts Skype calls with classrooms in other states, and receives letters and emails, some from readers as
Betty Raum, author of 110 children’s books (and counting)
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Article provided by Amy Richardson, Communications Director at the Plains Art Museum
far away as Singapore and Australia.
The most memorable contact came by cell phone. “Two years ago, a fifth grader from Utah called me while on his bus ride home to let me know I was his ‘favorite author in the whole world’,” she said. “He’d read a couple of my books on World War II and wanted to encourage me to write more.”
In addition to her busy schedule of researching and writing, Raum recently became a teaching artist with the North Dakota Council on the Arts as well as the regional advisor for the Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators (SCBWI) Dakotas Chapter. She’s organizing a SCBWI conference on Sept. 1819 in Fargo that will feature a literary agent, two editors, and best-selling author/illustrator Barbara McClintock, who has North Dakota ties.
“From beginners and up, all are welcome. This conference is a great way to meet experts and learn about the current state of the children’s book market,” Raum said. “We also hold monthly get-togethers for anyone interested in writing for kids, whether it’s picture books, early readers, chapter books or Young Adult fiction.”
Raum has clearly found her writing niche. “Explaining nuclear energy to young readers requires a tremendous learning curve,” she said. “Basically, I have a fifth-grade knowledge of many things.” From Stonehenge to the Taj Mahal, the history of toilets to the future of solar cars, and much more―chances are Raum has written the book. Or will, soon.
LEARN MORE ABOUT
Betty Raum’s books: www.elizabethraum.net
SCBWI September 2015 Conference: www.dakotas.scbwi.org or email dakotas@scbwi.org
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GIGI’S PLAYHOUSE
David Schwengler of Fargo is a sweet, spunky three-year-old who loves baseball and Spiderman. He admires his three older brothers and keeps his parents on their toes.
He’s also inspiring his family to do all they can to help others, like himself, who have Down syndrome.
“All of my kids make me want to be a better mom, but David has given my life focus,” said his mom, Marijo Schwengler.
Schwengler channeled that passion and focus into helping open GiGi’s Playhouse Fargo, a free education and support center dedicated to individuals with Down syndrome and their families. The new center (3224 20th Ave. S.) offers a variety of volunteer-led education and therapy programs for kids and adults – everything from playgroups and
Words by Amanda Peterson | Photography by Jill Ockhardt
Birk Nelsen chats with Sam Beedy and Blake Johnson
Kristin Nelsen and her son Birk with Marijo Schwengler and her son David
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Jason Schwengler and Blake Johnson pause their conversation for a quick photo
GIGI’S PLAYHOUSE IS A SAFE PLACE WHERE OUR CHILDREN (YOUNG OR GROWN) CAN BE THEMSELVES AND PRACTICE SKILLS THEY CAN USE OUT IN THE WORLD
gross-motor programs to math tutoring and teen nights. Fargo’s center is one of only 25 GiGi’s Playhouses in the U.S. and Mexico.
“Everyone is in a different spot on this journey with Down syndrome,” said Schwengler, vice-president of the GiGi’s Playhouse Fargo board. “GiGi’s is ready for that. We will be ready to help people wherever they are on the journey.”
Pregnant families with a new diagnosis can find support from other parents. Schoolage children can get extra reading help and practice speaking in front of a group. Teens can try a drama class and adults can prepare for job interviews. Siblings can join a support group.
“GiGi’s Playhouse is a safe place where our children (young or grown) can be themselves and practice skills they can use out in the world,” said board president Kristin Nelsen of Fargo.
Nelsen first discovered GiGi’s several years
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ago while researching Down syndrome online, looking for information for her son Birk, now seven. GiGi’s was started in 2003 by Nancy Gianni, a mom in Illinois who wanted to change the public’s perception of people with Down syndrome while also helping people with Down syndrome – like her daughter Gigi – reach their greatest potential. The message resonated with Nelsen.
“I hope GiGi’s Playhouse shows our community that people with Down syndrome are more like everyone else than they are different,” Nelsen said.
Through the Fargo-Moorhead support group Up with Downs, Nelsen connected with Schwengler and others who eventually set the goal of opening a GiGi’s in Fargo. They had the support but needed the $100,000 required to open a center. Schwengler set to work organizing the 2013 Up with Downs Buddy Walk in Fargo with hopes of raising $21,000 (a nod to Trisomy 21, the medical name for Down syndrome). The support group dreamed of opening a GiGi’s Playhouse in five years.
They were blown away by the community’s response.
More than 2,000 people packed into the Scheels Arena for the 2013 walk. They raised $75,000. In 2014, more than 1,500 participants raised another $121,000. This fall, the walk will be renamed the
From left: Sam Beedy, David Schwengler, Birk Nelsen, Blake Johnson
Marijo Schwengler and her son David
Kristin Nelsen with her son Birk
Kristin Nelsen and Marijo Schwengler
GiGi’s Playhouse Walk and Festival and continue to raise funds for ongoing programming.
“Without the support of everyone, we wouldn’t be here,” Schwengler said. “It’s not just about our kids. It’s about everybody.”
Kim Holloway of Lake Park, Minn., looks forward to how GiGi’s Playhouse programs will help her adult daughter, Laicy, 23, of Moorhead. Laicy loves to be active in her community with work, theater, sports and spending time with her friends. GiGi’s Playhouse will provide another place for her to meet more friends and get involved.
“I’m very excited and I know my daughter is too,” said Holloway, who will be helping the Fargo center with grant writing. “I applaud the group of parents that got this all going and I’m very thankful for their work.”
She wishes GiGi’s Playhouse had been available when Laicy was younger.
“The whole idea of GiGi’s Playhouse is fantastic,” Holloway said. “The free programs will take such a worry off parents’ plates.”
Schwengler and Nelsen hope for just that. They look forward to GiGi’s Playhouse-Down Syndrome Achievement Center serving the Fargo region for many years.
“GiGi’s encompasses the entire life span,” Nelsen said. “It doesn’t stop when your kids are grown. I can’t wait to see what an impact this is going to have on our surrounding area.” [AWM]
FOR MORE INFORMATION
or to volunteer with GiGi’s Playhouse Fargo, visit gigisplayhouse.org/fargo/ or contact board president Kristin Nelsen at knelsen@gigisplayhouse.org or 701-200-9920.
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from survivor to dvocate
Trisha Rutten turned a health crisis into a way to change the world
Nelson
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Words by Alicia Underlee
Photography and cover photograph by Dennis Krull, 5foot20 Design Lounge
Trisha Rutten is a fighter. She’s a survivor.
She sits at her desk in her sunny cube of an office, scrawling notes on her desk calendar with a purple pen. She is articulate and vivacious; a well-spoken leader. She has an easy smile, accented by new braces that occasionally give her the look of a guileless teenager, just for a second, a flash, before she gets back to business. Today she’s wearing a crisp, white blazer, her long hair is curled and her make-up is expertly applied, but she gleefully admits that this isn’t always the case. “I usually look like a hobbit,” she laughed, citing a penchant for slouchy sweaters and Doc Martens. But when she’s at work, she slips on the role of senior manager of the Alzheimer’s Association easily. And she’s profoundly grateful to be here, not just in this ordinary office in a nondescript office park on the North Dakota plains, but physically present here on the planet, in this moment. That’s because nine years ago she was flat on her back in a hospital bed, with no guarantee that she would ever get up again.
Life can change in an instant. That knowledge is etched into Rutten’s soul. And it gives her a deep and visceral connection to the families and individuals she serves. It’s made her work better and her family stronger. It’s made her into the person she wants to be.
She was a student at Minnesota State University Moorhead pursuing a political science degree when her life changed forever. Rutten has always had a passion for education, an internal drive that’s fueled her since she was a little girl. She was a non-traditional student even then, a 26-year-old wife and the mother of two children, a then four-yearold daughter named Paige and a two-year-old son named Gavin. Getting a college degree is a challenge in itself, and doing it with a home and family to manage (including a son on the autism spectrum) required razor-sharp focus. But Rutten always felt that the sacrifices were worth it. And balancing her own dreams and a family was always one of her goals. “Education is very important to me and I really, really wanted to tell my children, especially my daughter, that she could be a working mom and have an amazing life,” said Rutten.
Trisha Rutten was two years into her studies when her life turned upside down. She had a massive stroke at the age of 26. She remembers very little about the moments and months afterward, but the look on her sister’s face when she came into the hospital room is etched on her memory. Her sister is an accomplished nurse practitioner and one glance at her face told Rutten the situation was dire. Rutten was exhausted and disoriented. Her family was clearly devastated. Rutten herself couldn’t speak. But she was already recalibrating her life.
“I was lying in the hospital and thinking ‘This is really, really, really bad.’ And I haven’t done any of the things I really wanted to do,” she shook her head, remembering. “Life changes in an instant.”
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The things she wanted to do flashed through her mind. But there were more pressing issues to consider―first a clotting disorder then a pulmonary embolism. Once her condition stabilized, Rutten struggled to get and stay healthy, to find the right medication and to find her equilibrium, both physically and mentally. She had to relearn basic skills like talking. She was rebuilding her life, piece by piece. And it gave her a new and abiding appreciation for even the most ordinary moments.
“I’ve really kind of lived for the day since then,” she said. “Moments really matter to me. Every moment matters with my kids, too. Everything changes so fast.”
She wasn’t guaranteed to survive, much less thrive. But she did. And she wasn’t done yet – not by a long shot. “I had a fire in me,” she said. And the stroke only stoked the fire.
She charged back into classes at Minnesota State University Moorhead and graduated with honors – and a grade point average of over 4.0. Then she did something that only a tiny fraction of the most gifted students in the world are able to do―she got into Harvard Law School. It had been a dream of hers since she was a girl. “I think the first time I said I wanted to go there I was seven,” she said. “I would tell my dad I wanted to go there and he laughed.” But Rutten is a woman who knows what she wants. She excelled at Harvard, earning a Master in Public Administration in International Development (MPA/ID) and an international law degree.
But it hasn’t all been easy. Her first marriage ended and she still feels she’s making up for the time and memories that the stroke stole from her. “I was very young and my kids were very young,” said Rutten. “There’s a lot from when my kids were young that I don’t remember. And I struggle with that. But I’m very lucky to be here.”
So now she makes every moment count. “I
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could just drink them in,” she said. “They’re the lights of my life, both of them.” Paige is now a confident 14-year-old who resembles her extroverted mother in both looks and personality. Gavin is 12, smart, analytical and curious, a gentle soul who surprises his mother every day.
Four large framed photos sit on her desk, images of her kids and her husband Brad Rutten. The couple met through a mutual friend and their partnership is a strong and contented one.
“He is my soulmate,” she said with a grin. “I never thought I’d get married again. I never thought I’d trust anyone with my kids. And here is this amazing man who not only loves me, he loves my kids.”
The two married in an intimate ceremony underneath the Eiffel Tower in September 2014. They exchanged vows as a family and then took an extended vacation across France, Italy and Germany. When they returned to their home in Fargo’s Osgood neighborhood, they settled into a new routine as a blended family.
Rutten’s husband co-owns High Point Networks, a West-Fargo based information technology company. He has the same analytical nature as Gavin, which creates a sort of balance in the busy household. “We have two very introverted boys and two very extroverted girls,” laughed Rutten. Family life involves watching movies, going to baseball and hockey games and spending the evening meal chatting around the table. With two working parents, Rutten is quick to admit that the food is usually take-out or delivery, but where the food comes from is never the point―the goal is to get everyone around the table. After dinner, the four might pull out a few board games. Life and Risk are definite favorites. “Global domination in our household is a really big thing,” said Rutten, arching an eyebrow. “And we’re really competitive.”
These easy scenes from ordinary domestic life are not something Rutten takes for granted. She knows how easily they can slip away. “Life is not a guarantee in any way, shape or form,” she
said. “You are not guaranteed anything.” And this realization connects her to her clients and their families in a deep, abiding way.
Rutten is one of the first points of contact at the Alzheimer’s Association. She meets families who are in raw emotional states, who are struggling with the concept of mortality, just like she did nine years ago. “I think I can really relate to people who are coming in because they have the same realization that life is short,” she said. “Family dynamics are complicated and that carries over into adulthood.” Yet despite complicated relationships and emotions, Rutten said that the people that come through her door are longing to find ways to stay connected, to embrace their loved ones and to live every day to the fullest. “This disease (Alzheimer’s) is 100% fatal,” she said. “Every day is a gift.”
Despite its name, the Alzheimer’s Association serves individuals who suffer from a variety of disorders. “The most common misconception about the Alzheimer’s Association is that we only serve people with an actual diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease,” said Rutten. “In actuality, we serve people with all types of dementia including vascular dementia, dementia with Lewy Bodies, Frontotemporal Lobar Degeneration, mixed dementia, Parkinson’s disease, Creutzfeldt-Jacob disease, etc.”
The Alzheimer’s Association provides affected individuals and their caregivers with tools and services that can help families get the most out of the remaining time with their loved ones. The organization’s services cover a wide range of options, including an introductory consultation, connecting clients with in-home care, enrolling individuals in the MedicAlert® + Alzheimer's Association Safe Return® which alerts families if an individual wanders away from home and staffing a 24 hour-help line. “We’re mainly that first step to get them rolling and get them connected with the services they need long term,” said Rutten.
It’s a national organization, but the dual state Minnesota-North
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I think I can really relate to people who are coming in because they have the same realization that life is short
Dakota chapter has been able to accomplish big things in the region, thanks to strong local partnerships and funding from the government. “The North Dakota Legislature has been very generous and has given 1.2 million to help serve people with dementia in North Dakota,” said Rutten.
Committed funding has allowed the local chapter to be more flexible and innovative in the way they seek care solutions―and that’s attracted attention from across the country. “North Dakota is kind of the gold standard for how we work with the government,” she said. “We work with our legislature hand in hand. Other states are looking at how we do things.”
The North Dakota office regularly takes calls from chapters in other states, offering advice on how to create strong partnerships with lawmakers and integrate technology into services. The local chapter values creative solutions and a collaborative office culture, which isn’t always the case in the industry. “Failure isn’t a word we use in our culture― everything is viewed as a learning experience,” said Rutten of her office, which has a staff of nine women. “We are encouraged to dream big and think outside the box. It’s a very empowering environment.” Rutten asserts that the surge of Alzheimer’s and dementia diagnoses underscores the need for this kind of outside the box thinking.
“It’s just become an epidemic,” she said. “We’re going to see more and more people find innovative solutions.” And her organization will continue to be on the front lines of that fight. “Our mission is to eliminate Alzheimer’s disease through the advancement of research; to provide and enhance care and support for all affected; and to reduce the risk of dementia through the promotion of brain health,” she said, quoting the organization’s mission statement.
The Alzheimer’s Association is the top fundraiser for Alzheimer’s research in the
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country. And the organization may soon have additional research support. In June the Senate Appropriations Committee approved a 60% increase in Alzheimer’s research funding as part of the Alzheimer’s Accountability Act, a move that would allocate an additional $350 million to fund Alzheimer’s disease research if signed into law. The data says that this influx of research funding will be a game changer for Alzheimer’s disease.
“This is the sixth leading cause of death in America,” said Rutten. “Every other disease in the top 10, when they’ve been funded, death rates decreased immensely. We’re excited to see what happens.”
More research means more understanding of the brain and how it functions in both healthy subjects and Alzheimer’s patients. Once brain function is mapped and researched, Rutten is hopeful that scientists can provide new insights and treatment strategies to afflicted individuals and their families. “I hesitate to say we’ll find a cure,” she said, “because I don’t know if that’s possible; just a way to slow the progression of Alzheimer’s. That will be a turning point. But we’re not there yet.”
Until then, the Alzheimer’s Association will continue to raise funds for research and Rutten and her team will continue to foster the person-to-person contact that improves lives day by day. Events like the Walk to End Alzheimer’s at Scheels Arena on September 27 and the annual Reason To Hope luncheon not only raise funds for research, they also create a necessary dialogue about the disease and its effect on families in the region. These events and cultural movements like the #EndAlz hashtag on social media and the popularity of films like “Still Alice” and “I’m Still Me” have helped get people talking, but Rutten says there’s still a long way to go.
“I wish people would feel more comfortable talking about memory loss in any form―whether they are the person living with dementia, a
Left to right: Trisha, Paige, Gavin and Brad Rutten
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I CAN HONESTLY SAY I LOOK FORWARD TO GOING TO WORK EVERY DAY. I FEEL LIKE I’M A PART OF SOMETHING BIGGER THAN MYSELF AND I KNOW THAT I AM HELPING CHANGE THE WORLD
caregiver, spouse, family, or friend,” she said. “It’s still very much a taboo subject. People don’t like to talk about memory loss. There’s such a misconception around all of that and misconception turns to fear. ”
Rutten has seen this reluctance to discuss the subject even in her own family. It’s just another reason that she finds her work to be so meaningful. “I have witnessed the effects Alzheimer’s has had on my grandfather, my grandma (his caretaker) and the rest of the family. When I found out the Alzheimer’s Association was hiring for my position it felt like the right time and the right mission. It is woven in my soul to be working at the Alzheimer’s Association. I have skin in the game.”
Trisha Rutten has come a long way since she was a little girl with a dream of an education and overcome much on the road back to physical and emotional health. Now she’s using her skills and her experiences to make a difference in a field that constantly challenges, surprises and inspires her.
“When I was young I believed I could change the world,” she said. “I spent years in school receiving an education to acquire the tools to be the change. Eight years, two schools, three degrees and thousands of dollars in school loans later, I realized the only work I really had a passion for was non-profit work. I can honestly say I look forward to going to work every day. I feel like I’m a part of something bigger than myself and I know that I am helping change the world.”
She smiles and settles back into her chair. “I’m exactly where I need to be and where I want to be,” she said. “And I get to be me.”
It doesn’t get much better than that. [AWM]
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FAREWELLAdieu