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6 FEB 2020 ISSUE 6

heoriginalreal-lifema

FAB PUZZLES CA SH PRIZES!

HIS LOVER SENT ME SEXTS!

Piano lesson with A SEX BEAST

What she said was shocking

Sis-in-law wore THIS dress on MY big day!

Mum’s anguish

Fight for justice

Just 10 and he wanted to kill himself

CHEATS’ CHOCOLATE PUDS! RED-HOT STYLE TIPS! Wear it with confidence

WHYWAS MUMSHOT DEADBY POLICE? he’d called the cops S about suspected rape

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Welcome to this week’s Chat...

D

ee’s baby looked like a little cartoon Minion, but a surprise gift gave her a second chance (p37).

Leanne’s heartbreaking story shows why you should always tell those you love how you feel when you say goodbye (p44).

And Carolyn and her family moved into a m home but unfolded was truly arish (p54). got more tories he prize zzles ou love, as well as recipes p12 with chocolate ead (p40) and a fiery-red fashion round-up (p12).

Have a great week!

6 Piano lessons with a sex beast 10 Sis-in-law wore this dress on my big day!

12 Red-hot style tips!

16 Fight for justice: Why was Mum shot dead by police?

24 His lover sent me sexts! What she said was shocking

Subscribe from just £10.99* COVER PHOTO: GETTY

p54

p40

Contents

On the cover

Visit magazinesdirect.com/ 55AH Or call 0330 333 1113** *Payableevery3monthsbyUKDirect Debit.Forfulltermsandconditions, visitmagazines.com/terms.Offercloses 31October2020.**Callschargedat nomorethananationallandlinecall, andmaybeincludedinyourphone provider’scallbundle.Linesopen Mon-Sat 8am-6pm (UK Time).

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30 Just 10 and he wanted to kill himself 40 Cheats’ chocolate puds!

Your favourites

4 9 21 22 18 Breaking the taboo 26 20 Back on the menu 33 34 First cancer, then love… 39 37 Our little Minion 42 44 Those last words 43 48 Bingo winner 46 54 Home, sweet home..?

50 58 The girls I’ll never forget 52

More true stories

Picture perfect Just genius!

Health news Ask Dr Martin Year in crimes: 1961 Ask Aunty Nelly Cash smart Telly week Your stars You little beauty Holiday: Hay-on-Wye Best vases

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Get puzzling 8 8 8 10 15 23 23 23 23 28 28 28 30 32 32 36 30 47 56

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57 We won!

3

Picture perfect

Another fun-filled week in Chat land Here I am in Benidorm in November 2019. I was dressed up as a cat for the British fancy dress day!

Cynthia MacInnes, Bradford

When I went to a meal at my sister’s house to celebrate her 25th wedding anniversary, I was surprised to find that her cat, Rory, had placed himself in the serving dish!

Heather Sutcliffe, Hebden Bridge

My 6-week-old puppy, Nyah, is always sticking her tongue out. How cheeky!

Sabrina Weaver, Telford

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My daughter, Sue, loves treating herself to a face pack, even if it is a scary sight for us all to see!

Patricia Cordon, Cheltenham

Someone’s rather good at playing the piano. Well, my 3-year-old daughter, Abbie, seems to think so, anyway!

Cassie Hardy, Pwllglas

All dressed up for a belly dance performance! I attend a weekly class and three times a week we dress up and give a performance at a local club.

Janet Dandy, Burnley

I will definitely be going back to Santorini, Greece. It’s such a beautiful and picturesque place!

Kendra Seville, Prenton

My daughter, Mia, 3, loved partying every single night on holiday! Here she is with the Seaside Squad.

Richard Adams, Halesowen

I got a bit of a fright when my husband Terry showed me his new onesie!

Lorna Ridgway, Milton Keynes

for any photos

£25

This is my favourite picture of my 5-monthold kitten Falkor. He has brought lots of love and joy into my life!

Melanie Brown, Ramsgate

that we use on Picture Perfect. They must not have been sent to any other publication and you must include written permission from a child’s parent/s or guardian/s. Post to Picture Perfect, Chat, 161 Marsh Wall, London E14 9AP, or email chat_ magazine@ti-media.com Unfortunately, we can’t return photos without a SAE. And please don’t forget to include your full address and a contact number.

5

HAUNTED

Abuser: Mark Stonelake

He tried to seem innocent but I knew the sick truth

U

‘JANE ROWE’ IS NOT HER REAL NAME. WORDS: MISHAAL KHAN, JANE COHEN. PHOTOS: ALAMY, WALES NEWS SERVICE

Jane Rowe, 31, Mountain Ash

shering us close, I’d grimace at the through the front dirty smell from his clothes. door, my dad ‘Peel this off,’ he’d laugh handed me a after smothering PVA glue bag of toys and on his hands. I did as he waved goodbye. said, fascinated by it.

It was summer 1993, I Mark seemed to enjoy was 4 – and this house, this spending time with me. routine, had become familiar.

‘I’ve got a piano in my Every day, Dad dropped room. Do you want to have me and my brother, 3, with a go?’ he asked. a local babysitter, while he Of course, I said yes. By went to work.

It’d become the norm since my parents split up a few months earlier.

At first, we loved our time there. Then someone else began looking after us.

‘This is my brother Mark,’ our usual babysitter said, introducing us.

While she went to tend to her horse, she’d leave us with him. Mark was around 17, but to me, he was a grown-up.

Always dressed in dark clothes, he had I finally found the strength black, greasy hair. to speak up When he came

6

room yav

now, I was 5, a curious kid.

Soon, I was following Mark upstairs into his bedroom, while my brother played downstairs.

But once we were inside, Mark locked the door.

Looking up at him, I felt my curiosity shift to fear.

Then, he pulled down his trousers, made me touch him, put his privates between my hands and feet.

He touched me, abused me.

Afterwards, he played a film that showed naked bodies writhing against each other.

‘Watch it,’ he barked as I squeezed my eyes tight.

‘This is our secret.

No one can know,’ Mark told me.

Unlocking the door, Mark ushered me downstairs, acted like nothing had happened. I felt strange, disgusting.

But I hoped that would be the last time he took me to his bedroom.

I was wrong.

‘Let’s play the piano,’ he said again, soon after.

I began to dread him suggesting it,

knowing just what was coming next.

Mark told me to keep quiet about what he did, and I never told a soul.

He was a grown-up and I did what I was told.

Then one day, a couple of years later, Mark stopped inviting me upstairs.

Maybe he’d lost interest.

But it didn’t matter. The relief was monumental.

Before long, Dad didn’t need us to have a babysitter any more. We didn’t ever go back to that house.

But what had happened there had changed me.

Once a happy, carefree child, I became withdrawn and depressed.

I just couldn’t stop going over and over the abuse in my mind, reliving it daily.

When I was 9, I found a bottle of tablets at home.

I took them all, desperate for the pain to go away.

That day, I collapsed at school, ended up in hospital, but was OK. During my first years of secondary school, I was a recluse, too afraid to make friends. But growing into a teenager, I discovered different methods to numb my pain.

Turning to drink and

med vir i drugs, I spiralled out of control.

And my anxiety and depression only intensified.

I self-harmed, desperate to find a release.

Too afraid to confide in my family, I tried counselling.

‘Tell me about your childhood,’ she asked.

Only, I still couldn’t bring myself to talk about my agonising memories. I felt trapp After years of never trusting men, I met someone and fell preg My baby was born in February 2012.

It was a pivotal moment – my child gave me a reason to keep going.

So, when I had my second baby, in March 2018, I confided in my partner.

Telling someone was a remedy in itself, finally letting out the dark secret I’d buried so deep.

‘You have to report it. You can’t let him get away with it,’ he urged.

I wasn’t sure I was ready.

But would I ever be?

Finally, in July 2018, more

My memories tormented me

I was just 5 when it started

than two decades after Mark Stonelake abused me, I went to the police.

I told them everything.

I was terrified that I wouldn’t be believed.

Luckily, he was soon arrested and confessed to what he’d done to me.

It was such a relief.

After Stonelake, 42, was charged with one count of indecent assault and two counts of indecency with a

d, I knew it as time o tell my brother.

I had to make sure that I was Stonelake’s only victim.

My other ured me adn’t been on, too. believe it ng while ,’ he cried.

At Merthyr Tydfil Crown Court, Stonelake’s lawyer told the court, ‘He has never had intimacy with another person and remains to this day a virgin.’

I was sickened.

Was he trying to come off as innocent, get a softer sentence?

As if the fact he’d only ever had sexual contact with me, a 5-yearold girl, made it all better.

Stonelake pleaded guilty

I wanted to face him, no longer a scared little girl

to all charges, and in September 2019, he was sentenced to 16 months behind bars. He was placed on the sex offenders register for 10 years.

I went to court with my partner to watch Stonelake get sent down.

I wanted to face him, to make him see I was no longer a scared little girl.

No sentence will ever be enough for what that sick monster did to me.

To this day, I hate the smell of PVA glue.

And I can’t stand anyone touching my feet.

Fiercely protective of my children, I won’t let them stay over at friends’ and I only let my mum babysit.

But I am stronger now than I’ve ever been and I won’t let that man ruin the rest of my life.

I hope that, by sharing my story, I can encourage other abuse victims to come forward and speak up.

You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Sickos like Mark Stonelake can’t be allowed to go around stealing childhoods and ruining lives.

7

£500 cash!

NUMBER JIG A

hoard of Anglo-Saxon coins found on Suffolk farmland sold at auction for how many pounds?

Fit these numbers into the grid. One number doesn’t fit. This is the prize answer.

653 68773 3 digits 938

137 174 344 378 407 413 452 453 546 554

75673 78634 80364 82464 90000

4 digits 2612 3370 4380 5837 6700 8395 8426 8566 9153

WIN0

£25

Puzzle 1

4

5

2

6 digits 102463 455760 676814 771362 846083

5 digits

7 digits

12576 22010 23038 30641 46172 64603

1456534 2052156 2913241 5017872

8 digits 17288018

Your answer:

PIECEWORD hat is the most common object that people doodle? The number next to the clue tells you which line the answer’s in. We’ve put a section in to start you off! There may be two Across answers in one line. Down words fill themselves in. The shaded squares spell 1 out the one-word 2 prize answer.

3

W

R A R O D * C R B I S E O I L

* I U

8

Puzzle 2

5 6

T F O A P T * * * R H U B A O L D T U D W Y E * * *

8 I

7 A

R

9 F U N

Artist’s case Ancient Musical exercise piece Fitting, suitable • Thin stick Pink crumble fruit

Your answer:

£150

4

L I O E F E P O R * * W N U T L * E * E D R A E E

1 2 3 4 5

WIN

6 Chepstow’s river • Liquid mineral 7 … to, mention 8 Almond, for example 9 Earn money for charity

TAKE THREE B

echstein’s is a species of which creature?

The three answers in this puzzle read the same across and down. The clues are given, but not in the right order.

Read down the shaded squares to spell the prize answer.

W4INx

£25

ESCAPE FROM RESTED ON BENDED KNEE SHORT HOLIDAY

Puzzle 3

Your answer: TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details or visit lifedeathprizes.com/win

Genius Just

Your tips are the tops!

£25

Let there be light

For every photo tip that we print

Instead of buying new candle holders, create your own by rinsing out an old food jar.

Lucy Hodson, Hoylake

Bag itup

Findingtherightwords

Don’t throw away old paper bags.

Instead, get creative and make your own decorative cards.

Jodie Giblin, Penarth

If you’re looking for an easy and unique gift idea for loved ones, use stickers and letter tiles to create a personalised message.

Connor McGuire, Grimsby

Hanging around Keep your cleaning cupboard looking neat and tidy by installing a tension rod to hang all your spray bottles on.

Sali Thomas, Denbigh

Hotheaded Fold over the long point of an old hair wrap and stitch the sides together to make a hot-water bottle cover.

Anne-Marie Hicks, Poole

Not letting loose To stop loose clothes falling off plastic hangers, attach an elastic band to each end.

Karen Hill, Gwynedd

Tips must be your own idea, and not appear in other mags. If published, we pay £25 for tips with photos.

Send tips, photos, name and full address to: Tips page, Chat, 161 Marsh Wall, London E14 9AP or email us at chat_magazine@ti-media.com Remember, these are YOUR tips – we haven’t tried them ourselves

9

Cash!

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE A

B

C

D

1

2

WHAT A BARGAIN!

BOGOF brides Our wedding went from ‘I do’ to ‘me too’ Andrea Walker, 31, Tamworth

3

4 A

B

C

D

1

What started as a joke quickly became reality

2

3

4

WIN0 £3

PHOTO: GETTY

5xPuzzle 4

Look closely at these two pics – there’s a difference in almost every square. Only one has no changes; the grid reference (eg, 1A) is your prize answer.

Your answer: 10

F

licking through a speculated about the figures magazine, I folded for our dream wedding. down the corner Still, maybe one day..? of another page.

So, closing the mag, Exactly what I placed it on the coffee I want, I grinned table as one final hint. to myself.

A few days later, my It was 2017 and I was brother Christopher, sifting through wedding then 26, popped over mags again. for a catch-up.

Mesmerised by pictures As kids, we were of beautiful brides in inseparable. And even their princess now, we were gowns, I super close. was envious.

Making us a Me and cuppa, I found my partner Christopher in Matthew, then the living room 26, had been flicking through together for my magazine. three years.

‘Hands off!’

And I was I teased. ‘That’s desperate for him to ask for Matthew to find.’ me that question. Hint He chuckled. after hint, yet he still ‘I hope it’ll be me soon, hadn’t proposed. too,’ he said.

I was getting impatient.

Christopher and his Told myself if I didn’t get engaged by 30, I didn’t want to get married at all.

I was 29, and time was ticking.

But truth was, I understood why Matthew hadn’t asked. ‘£30,000!’

I’d gasped Plenty of confetti... when we’d

TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details

F s!

Double date: Matthew and me, Christopher and Adele

partner Adele, 26, had been together for almost two years.

They had two lovely kids.

I couldn’t think of a better sister-in-law than Adele.

As Christopher and I excitedly chatted weddings, the conversation turned to our finances. Bringing us straight back to reality!

They were in the same cash predicament as us.

‘It’s a shame we can’t cut the costs by all getting married together,’ Christopher joked.

Looking up from our mugs, we smirked.

‘Now, that’s not a bad

...and the perfect venue

Christopher proposed to Adele.

So the four of us set about putting the final details of our dream wedding into place.

Luckily, we all agreed on everything. From the cake to the flowers and the colour scheme.

Splitting the cost between us, we spent just £12,000.

And as the big day rolled around, our excitement really soared.

On a sunny August day, 65 of our nearest and dearest gathered together at the Castle Hotel.

I was up first!

Pacing down the aisle with my dad Colin, 61, I took a deep breath.

‘Love you,’ Dad said tearfully as he gave me away.

Suffering with heart complications, he was grateful to see both me and Christopher get married on the same day.

Gazing into Matthew’s eyes, this was the moment

I’d been waiting for. I finally felt just like the women in the magazines.

With an exchange of rings and ‘I dos’, we were officially Mr and Mrs Walker.

But instead of parading back down the aisle, Matthew and I took our seats among our guests.

It was Christopher and Adele’s turn now.

To most brides, seeing your sister-in-law wearing a wedding dress at your wedding might be a bit of a nightmare.

But I was just so happy for my little brother and his stunning bride.

As the camera snapped the four of us at the altar, I was beaming.

BOGOF brides, two for the price of one!

And as the confetti rained down on us after the ceremony, I felt double the love.

Now, between the four of us, there’s absolutely no excuse for forgetting wedding anniversaries!

To most women, it might be a bit of a nightmare!

WORDS: FIONA KINLOCH, KATIE PEARSON. PHOTOS: SWNS

idea at all,’ I laughed.

And after consulting with our other halves, we soon found what started as a joke quickly became reality.

‘That’s a good idea!’

Matthew said.

We were going to have a double wedding!

Soon, we’d chosen a perfect ceremony and reception venue in Tamworth. Set a date for 25 August 2019.

There was just one vital thing missing…

Just a month later, in January 2018, Matthew got down on one knee at our home.

‘We’re getting married next year!’ I squealed.

I know it sounds strange to book the wedding before the proposal.

But let’s be honest, nothing about our nuptials would be conventional!

And a few months later,

We did! Me and Adele (on right)

11

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ACROSS 11 Most bright (day) (8) 12 Warn of danger (5) 13 Joined like a chain (6) 14 Golfer’s warning shout (4) 15 Stuffed full (7) 16 Caught up (8) 17 Darcey ..., ex‑dancer (7) 18 Two‑wheeled pedalled vehicle (7) 19 Cosy corner (4) 21 ... key, spanner used with flat‑pack furniture (5) 23 Champions (7) 24 Broke free (7) 28 Hit (a fly) (4) 29 Function, purpose (3) 30 End of the working week (6) 33 Front‑line footballer (7) 35 American form of ‘Ltd’ (abbrev) (3) 36 Opposite of west (4) 38 First name of film actor Mr Bana (4) 39 Acquired, obtained (3) 40 Cosmetic head‑cover (7) 42 Interfere (6) 43 Lump of wood (3) 44 Figure, form (4) 48 Individual programme of a serial (7) 50 Twisted, out of shape (7) 51 Chum, mate (5) 54 One‑sidedness (4) 56 Small kangaroo‑like animal (7) 57 Optical examination (3, 4) 60 Last‑round contestant (8) 61 Italian dish of filled ‘cushions’ (7) 63 Place for luggage on a train (4) 64 Greece’s capital (6) 65 ... Berry, Oscar‑ winning actress (5) 66 Athlete’s footwear (8) DOWN 1 Popular number puzzle (6) 2 Not used all of the allocated budget (10) 3 Clean (a kettle) (7) 4 ... train, early rail transport (5) 5 Healing ointment (4) 6 Covering for the hair (9) 7 Extend, like elastic (7) 8 Adhesive dressings (8) 9 Without success (2, 4) 10 Property investor (9) 18 Sound of an explosion (4) 20 Underwater swimmer (5) 22 Place where trials are held (3, 5) 25 Non‑professional (7) 26 Affronted (8) 27 Add, append (5) 31 Being the boss (2, 6) 32 Climbed (a mountain) (8)

WIN1 Puzzle 5 1

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34 Bowlers’ targets in cricket (7) 37 Direct the course of (5) 41 Narrow lane (5) 44 Talking in a loud aggressive way (10) 45 Cheerful confident people (9) 46 Small loaf (5, 4) 47 ... jug, stylised mug (4) 49 Least fashionable (8) 52 Covered in irregular marks (7) 53 Normal, average (7) 55 Afraid (6) 58 Attach or fix firmly (6) 59 Early years (5) 62 Attractive sight from a window (4)

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£500 winner Issue 39, 26 Sept 2019 ‘Brilliant, what a wonderful surprise! I’ll buy some new clothes and put some money towards a short break away.’

M. Oakley, East Cowes, Isle of Wight

PHOTO: GETTY

M

iranda Hart has revealed that she has been training to become what? To find out, solve the crossword then read down the shaded squares to find the four-word prize answer.

£1,001 cash!

Your answer:

TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details or visit lifedeathprizes.com/win

15

TRAGIC DEATH

T

ddin never Justine never got to say her marriage vows, but why?

A

month before her wedding, Justine Ruszczyk, 40, was in the prime of her life.

Blonde and beautiful, she was thriving in her career as a life coach and yoga teacher. She was also a spiritual healer, dedicated to helping others.

In April 2014, Justine had moved from Sydney to Minneapolis to be with her beloved fiance Don Damond.

It didn’t take her long to settle in. An animal lover, Justine volunteered at a local dog shelter.

And she became a loving stepmum to Don’s son Zach, 19.

In July 2017, Justine and Don were just four weeks away from getting

Bride-to-be Justine

16

Heartbroken: stepson Zach and fiance Don

married in Hawaii.

They’d planned a beach ceremony, Justine had picked out a beautiful gown.

But on 15 July 2017, tragedy struck…

Justine’s final moments At 11.37pm, Justine was at home when she heard a woman screaming in the alley behind her house.

Alarmed, she called 911.

‘I’m not sure if she’s having sex or being raped,’ Justine told the operator.

While she waited for the police to arrive, Justine called Don. The pair spoke on the phone until, finally, a squad car pulled up outside.

Ending the call, Justine listened as the car drove into the alley with the headlights turned off.

Officers Mohamed Noor and Matthew Harrity searched the area, but couldn’t see anything.

Moments later, they heard a voice…

Then, a loud noise.

Startled, Harrity drew his gun next to his ribcage.

Then... Bang!

It all happened so quickly.

Harrity turned to

g that was

YOUÕRE

tragic death, Mohamed Noor appeared in court charged with seconddegree manslaughter and third-degree murder.

Noor had never denied firing the shot that claimed Justine’s life.

The question was, was it reasonable to shoot?

Mohamed Noor ‘I was wrong’

Noor’s decision to shoot Justine was based purely on terror.

His lawyers claimed Noor had been spooked Big questions by a loud noise and feared Did he believe Justine an ambush. posed a threat or did he Giving evidence, Noor overreact, costing an described how he had innocent bride her life? received counter-ambush Noor claimed he fired training during his career. the shot out of fear.

‘Action is better than He told the court reaction,’ Noor testified. ‘If that Harrity’s terrified you’re reacting, that means expression and the sight of it’s too late...to protect a woman raising her arm yourself...you die.’ jolted him into action.

But prosecutors argued He said he thought that Noor overreacted.

Harrity was about to be shot.

They believed that if Noor ‘The moment I pulled had assessed the situation the trigger, I felt fear. The more thoroughly, Justine moment I walked around could still be alive. and saw Miss Ruszczyk Noor insisted he had dying on the ground, I felt horror.

I knew in that instant that I was wrong,’ Noor told the court.

Noor’s defence lawyer Peter Wold Noor’s police issue gun said that Fellow officer Matthew Harrity

a split second to make a decision and that he didn’t see Justine’s hands before he shot.

He said he was just protecting Harrity from a potential threat.

Deadly force

As Noor finished his testimony, his defence attorney Thomas Plunkett asked what would have happened if Justine had a gun in her hand when raising her arm.

‘My partner would have been killed,’ he replied.

But two police experts disagreed. Giving evidence, they said no reasonable police officer would have perceived Justine as a threat.

They said being startled doesn’t justify the use of deadly force.

The jury had a huge responsibility on their hands.

Had police officer Mohamed Noor shot too soon, or was he simply protecting his partner?

Guilty or not?

Turn to find out 17

WORDS: SASKIA MURPHY. PHOTOS: ALAMY, REUTERS, SHUTTERSTOCK.

Noor. He had his right arm extended, he’d fired his gun.

The next thing Harrity saw was Justine.

Standing in her pyjamas in the alleyway, she held her hand to her stomach and said two words.

‘I’m dying.’

Frantic, the police officers called an ambulance.

In a desperate attempt to save Justine’s life, Noor and Harrity performed CPR. But, moments later, Justine was pronounced dead at the scene.

The news reached Don that the woman he was about to marry was gone.

It didn’t make sense.

How had Justine, a concerned citizen who called the police for help, ended up dead?

It was Noor who fired the fatal shot.

But why?

While her family and friends in Australia and America mourned Justine’s loss, Noor was arrested.

Her death sparked a debate about police powers.

And her heartbroken stepson Zach released a video on social media.

‘My mum is dead because a police officer shot her for reasons I don’t know, and I demand answers,’ he said, wiping tears from his eyes.

In April 2019, almost two years after Justine’s

E JUDGE!

WHATÕS

VERDICT?

WORDS: SASKIA MURPHY. PHOTOS: ALAMY

I

GUILTY

n April 2019, Mohamed Noor was found guilty of the third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter of Justine Ruszczyk.

At his sentencing, Justine’s heartbroken fiance Don read out a letter in which he described weeping in a dress shop when he saw Justine’s wedding dress for the first time after she died.

‘I had an experience of what that magical wedding night in Hawaii would have been like,’ he said.

‘I fantasised about seeing you walk on the beach in that dress toward me to exchange our

18

vows. I fantasised kissing you as they designated us man and wife. But these are not memories but sad wishes of what will never be.’

Noor was sentenced to 12½ years for the fatal shooting.

In July 2019, his lawyers launched an appeal against his conviction.

So sad

r h

STAYING POSITIVE

Noor: Convicted of the fatal shooting

Proudly supporting a charity

I refused to be ashamed of something I can’t control

P

Channan Warmington Lewis Moore, 20, London

laying with my toys, I was startled by my older brother.

‘It’s not fair!’

Tom, then 7, cried.

‘What’s not fair?’ I asked him, confused.

‘You’re ABC positive!’ he shouted before storming off.

It was 2006, I was just 6 and had no idea what Tom was talking about.

But that night, as my adoptive mum Janette, then 46, tucked me up in bed, I asked her what Tom meant.

‘Tom didn’t mean ABC positive, he meant HIV positive,’ she said softly.

Mum explained it was something I’d had since I was born.

And suddenly, everything made sense.

The medicine I’d taken daily, the nurse visits, the hospital appointments.

‘How did I get it?’ I asked.

‘From your biological mummy,’ she said.

Mum had always been open with me about my past.

I knew my biological

parents were drug addicts.

Badly neglected, I’d been taken away by social services when I was just 6 months old.

In need of love and a home, I was blessed when social services found Janette.

‘That’s when you came to live with me,’ Mum smiled.

Still in primary school, I was blissfully unaware of the stigma attached to HIV. ‘I’m HIV positive,’ I announced proudly to my school friends.

But it wasn’t long before I learnt just how much of a taboo my condition was.

One boy in my class bullied me relentlessly and my teacher told the other pupils to ‘be careful’ around me.

Embarrassed and scared, I started running away.

‘Don’t listen to any of them,’ Mum told me.

When I was 10, my consultant referred me to an HIV support group.

Meeting other young people like me, I realised I wasn’t alone.

In September 2011,

‘You’re HIV positive,’ he gasped, horrified

reaking he taboo in September 2017, my confidence took a knock.

I really liked a guy in my class. But after we’d texted constantly for a few weeks, he called me one night.

‘You’re HIV positive,’ he gasped, horrified.

I was devastated as he explained he couldn’t date me because of it.

‘Is this what it’s going to be like for the rest of my life?’ I sobbed to my mum.

I felt like I was being punished for somethin that wasn’t my fault.

Soon after, I was hospitalised again afte an asthma attack.

In bed, I thought about how much I wanted to educate people about HIV. I wanted them to know that I – and others of all races, genders and ages living with the condition – deserved love, too.

So, I started a YouTu channel, sharing facts dispelling myths about Then, in January 201 I received some good news.

‘Your viral load is now undetectable,’ my consultant told me.

It meant that, after years of my body resisting medication, the drugs had finally worked. I can’t pass the virus on, even through unprotected sex.

Soon after, in January 2019, I decided to start a business where I design

workshops and web seminars on HIV and sexual health. I went into schools to tell kids about my condition.

Thanks to medication, people with HIV can live normal, happy lives.

Just watch me.

I was born with the condition

‘TOM’ IS NOT HIS REAL NAME. SEE CHANNAN ON YOUTUBE.COM/CHANNAN. WORDS: SASKIA MURPHY, LIANA JACOB. PHOTOS: MEDIADRUMWORLD.COM/CHANNAN WARMINGTON LEWIS MOORE

I started secondary school.

Reading up on my condition, I learnt that there were still a lot of misconceptions about HIV. I wanted to set the record straight, wanted people to know HIV positive people had a voice, too.

So, in 2013 I held an assembly at my school with my consultant.

I told my classmates all about my condition. Then, we held a Q&A session.

As my confidence soared, I began an Instagram profile.

IÕm HIV positive, I wrote in the bio. I had nothing to be ashamed of.

But as the years passed, I started suffering from complications.

Allergic to HIV medication, I was always in and out of hospital.

My weak immune system meant I picked up whatever was going around.

On my 15th birthday, I had to be admitted to Evelina London Children’s Hospital for an AIDSrelated illness after the medication I was on became resistant to my body.

Over the years, I thought about my biological mum a lot. How she’d chosen drugs over me.

But talking to my Mum and my support group helped me.

And, in time, I forgave my biological mum. I realised she had an addiction.

When I started college

Now I’m living my life and educating others

HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) is a virus that damages the cells in your immune system and weakens your ability to fight everyday infections and disease.

When the condition was first identified in the 1980s, it was considered a death sentence.

Now, while there is still no cure, there are very effective drug treatments that enable most people with the virus to live a long and healthy life.

With an early diagnosis and effective treatments, most people with HIV will not develop any AIDS-related illnesses and will live a near-normal lifespan.

For more info, visit nhs.uk/conditions/hiv-and-aids/

19

Health The advice you need

Back PATIENT on the menu True-life

CASEBOOK

I’m no longer turning down dinner

P

I’m making healthy, delicious food

WORDS: EMMA ROSSITER

Eli Brecher, 24, north London ushing away my plate, I refused to take another bite.

‘My belly hurts again,’ I moaned to my parents.

This had become a regular thing.

I complained of tummy ache every single mealtime.

At first, Mum thought I was just being fussy.

She tried everything – swappi foods around, cuttin portion sizes – but st I grumbled about pa In October 2003, w was 8, Mum took me GP. I was given blood the doctor felt my be ‘There’s some inflammation,’ he sa He referred me for colonoscopy – a tiny c to look inside me. In the doctors had the r ‘She has Crohn’s disease,’ he explaine my mum and he gen

20

told me my pain was because I had a bug in my tum.

I thought I’d just have medication, and be better in no time – but Crohn’s is a lifelong condition.

I’d have to manage my diet and deal with flare-ups for the rest of my life. As a kid, it seemed terrifying.

For the first h h

Student drinking and 3am pizzas left me in agony

soya or eggs,’ my doctor instructed – old favourites such as peanut butter on toast were off the menu.

Meanwhile, I got used to having regular checkups, injections and tablets.

It kept my symptoms at bay for a while. And, gradually, I reintroduced some other foods.

By the time I started university in September 2014, I knew my worst i f fl

I took inspiration from their recipes online.

Experimenting in the kitchen, I documented it on social media.

Making wholesome, nourishing meals, I realised how much I loved cooking.

It even inspired me to take on a second degree in Nutrition.

And, right now, that’s my focus. I want to help others i h C ohn’s, to show them sible to eat well, to oy delicious food. s why I’m g with Bowel & Research, hoping awareness. t to spread the you can still enjoy y and healthy life ohn’s. hat’s full of flavour!

More info?

welcancerresearch. ollow Eli’s story on am @brechernutrition website elibrecher.co.uk

Diagnosed when I was little

Health news Isalowsalary affecting Appy& your mental healthy well-being?

T

*TAP WAREHOUSE **ABBOTT. WORDS: ELEANOR VOUSDEN. PHOTOS (POSED BY MODEL): GETTY

Want tips from elite trainers, nutritionists and mindfulness experts?

The Centr app (from £7.83 per month, via Google Play Store and centr.com), was created by actor Chris Hemsworth and wife Elsa Pataky to offer Hollywood results at home.

Did you know that a sanitary pad takes 300 to 500 years to decompose?

Switch to Love Luna Period Briefs (from £10, TU Clothing at Sainsbury’s).

These leakproof undies, which can be washed and reused, are a more sustainable alternative.

WE PAY

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hose in low-paying jobs are more likely to suffer with their mental health.* In fact, a study revealed that chronic stress is higher for those in poor-quality work than those who are unemployed.

With over a quarter (27%) of the UK’s workforce in low-paid employment, it means that 8.8 million workers are potentially affected.

What’s more, those people suffering with their mental well-being take, on average, 21 sick days off work, with almost half (44%) claiming their workload is the biggest cause of stress.

So how can we minimise the effects of stress in the workplace? Talking to a trusted

colleague can help, as this triggers the release of feel-good brain hormones dopamine and oxytocin.

And if you’re feeling frantic while at work, chew gum.

A Cardiff Poor pay can mean University higher stress study found that students who who were surrounded by chewed gum had a greater sense of well-being and less clutter tended to have higher stress, as the act boosts blood levels of the stress hormone flow to the brain. cortisol in their system, Finally, make time to tidy up according to a study by the your workspace. Those people University of California.

Take honey rather than antibiotics for a cough

S

uffering from a niggling as a first line of defence for cough or a sore throat? a minor cough.

A spoonful of sugar might Other recommended be better than antibiotics. treatment routes include The National Institute over-thefor Health and Care counter Excellence (NICE) cough and Public Health medicines England have that contain announced that guaifenesin or antibiotics should pelargonium (a no longer be herbal medicine). administered to But if a cough treat a cough. worsens or does Instead, new not improve after guidelines three or four recommend weeks, make The sweetest that patients an appointment treatment opt for honey to see your GP.

8%

That’s the percentage of muscle we lose each decade from the age of 40.** It’s important to eat plenty of protein to maintain muscle mass and boost energy levels.

‘If muscles become less efficient, we can become fatigued, so ensuring we have the right nutrition is critical to support well-being, boost energy and reduce tiredness,’ says Imogen Watson, dietitian for healthcare company Abbott.

We’ll pay cash, or mention a charity of your choice, if we print your health story. Write to Your Health, Chat, 161 Marsh Wall, London E14 9AP or phone 020 3148 6150. You can send your story or email the Doc at chathealth@ti-media.com. Always consult your pharmacist or GP before using any over-the-counter or prescription remedies, and read the packet carefully.

Turn over for more health 21

Dr Martin ASK

Dr Martin Edwards is a family GP whose advice you can trust

I have an erection several times every day and always at the wrong time, like at work or meeting someone new! It’s really embarrassing, is it normal?

Tom, Northampton

Q A

Yes, it’s normal and helps to show that everything’s working as it should be! It’s particularly common in younger men and usually stops being a problem once you’re into your 20s.

Usually, your brain triggers an erection when you’re sexually aroused, but sometimes it can set off an erection in the wrong circumstances – often when you’re anxious or afraid, need to pee, or even out of the blue.

Erections when dreaming, or on waking in the morning, are common, even in older men.

If you do become hard when you don’t want to be, try to think about something else, don’t touch your erection, and cover it by changing position or holding something in front.

Should I be itchy down there?

My clitoris often becomes very itchy, especially before sex.

Is something wrong?

Kate, Buxton

Q A

The blood flow to your clitoris increases when you’re sexually aroused, causing it to swell, and this can lead to mild itching, which is quite normal.

Itching at other times can be due to a number of things.

Infections such as thrush or bacterial vaginosis, for example, or even rubbing from tight clothes, can be to blame.

An allergy to soap, bath

bubbles, condoms or vaginal douches is another possibility.

Your doctor can check for these causes, besides skin

problems such as eczema, and suggest treatment, or simply reassure you that all seems well.

My eyes are so painful!

Q

My eyes are scratchy and sore, especially in the morning. My doctor says it’s blepharitis. What’s that?

Val, Liverpool

A

It means inflamed eyelids, common as you grow older.

Your eyelids may be infected by bacteria, yeast or microscopic Demodex mites, which live in the follicles where your eyelashes grow. Or it could

be that the meibomian glands along the edge of your eyelids, which produce oil that stops tears evaporating, aren’t working well.

Treatment mainly means regular cleaning of your eyelids with a warm, wet flannel on your closed eyes, or with diluted baby shampoo or a lotion from your doctor, and massaging your eyelids to clear blocked glands.

Your doctor might suggest antibiotic tablets or ointment.

Bowel movement made me faint Last week, I struggled to pass a hard poo. I felt faint and passed out!

Could it happen again?

Sian, Lurgan

PHOTOS (POSED BY MODELS): GETTY

Q A

It’s called defecation syncope, which means fainting on passing a bowel movement. As a one-off, it could simply mean that straining or pain triggered a slowing of your heart and a drop in blood pressure.

It’s more likely to happen if

22

your blood pressure is already low due to illness, dehydration, hot weather, or as a side effect of drugs you’re taking. But any faint where you totally pass out should be checked, especially if it’s your first time, so you should see your doctor.

Usually, there’s no obvious cause – but if the faints keep happening, then heart, blood pressure or other problems are more likely and your doctor might suggest more tests.

Want Dr Martin Edwards’ advice? Write to chat_magazine@ti-media.com. Sorry, he can’t reply personally

ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR PHARMACIST OR GP BEFORE USING ANY OVER-THE-COUNTER OR PRESCRIPTION REMEDIES, AND READ THE PACKET CAREFULLY

I get hard at awkward moments

£375 cash!

OVER TO YOU

an you set a puzzle in this format? Send it, with a photo of yourself, to the address on p3. There’s £20 for every one we use!

C

This week’s puzzle was compiled by Alison Nuorto, Bournemouth

W5INx

£25 Puzzle 6

1

2

3

ACROSS 1 Slender 2 Citrus fruit 3 The first man 4 Heavy book DOWN 1 Thin piece of wood 2 Public open-air pool 3 Religious leader 4 Funny online picture

4

2

3

4

Your answer:

BRICK TRICK

W

hich tropical fruit’s name means ‘Indian date’? To find out, solve the puzzle… Enter the answers to the clues in the grid. Every word is an anagram of its neighbours, plus or minus a letter. Read the shaded squares in number order for the prize answer.

HALF & HALF W

hich Derbyshire village was created in cake form, raising more than £17,500 for charity?

Cross out a letter in each square to get a grid filled with words. The uncrossed out letters in the shaded squares give Puzzle 7 the prize answer.

PHOTOS: GETTY

T

1 2

E

R

U

M

S U W I E E O A H E P O F G A Y D E C I K I V I U A B M A K I C N U P L E

Your answer:

RAFT

Skilled trade

STAY

MIND

D A N

SIDE

Edge along

SAVE

Calm

RUNE

Clip (a plant)

CLAM

Allege

LIED

Was partial to

BEST

Encircle

4 2

7 8

Spread out

7

4

6

£50

PLAY

LAIR

3

5

WIN

N

ame the mountain a man from Lincoln carried a rowing Puzzle 9 machine to the top of and rowed 10km on at the summit? To find out, solve the puzzle… Add a letter anywhere in each of the boxed-off words to fit the clue, eg, Spread out = PLAY + S = SPLAY. Write the added letter in the space provided.

Read down the added letters to spell out the prize answer.

Peanut sauce Aptitude, knack Dug (for coal)

8

3

WIN0 £10

5

SKINNY ONE

6

9

1 Follow a winding path (7) 2 Belittle (6) 3 Change for the better (5) 4 South Yemeni city and port (4) 5 Judo level (3) 6 Beach grains (4) Your answer:

1

7 American saloon car (5) 8 - - - O’Connor, Irish singer (6) 9 As a substitute (7)

WIN0 £10

Puzzle 8

Your answer:

TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details or visit lifedeathprizes.com/win

23

Crazy

THE MOMENT I KNEW

I knew I had trust issues

‘SARAH’ IS NOT HER REAL NAME. WORDS: EMMA ROSSITER, HANNAH CROCKER. PHOTOS: GETTY, MEDAVIA

U

nlocking my phone, I saw a string of ‘Happy birthday’ messages appear on screen.

Some from family, others from friends who’d tagged me in cringeworthy photos.

It was April 2016, my 30th birthday.

Among the messages was one from Gary, 31.

A friend of a friend, he’d added me on Facebook a few days before.

‘I was in the year above you at school,’ he reminded me now.

I didn’t remember him, but he looked handsome, had a kind face, so I was happy to chat.

He asked me what I was up to, if I was doing anything nice to celebrate.

Gradually, texting turned into calling and then into video chatting.

We could talk about everything and had no awkward silences.

I’d get excited whenever his name flashed up on my screen.

Then, just a few weeks after that initial message, we met up for the first time

24

inlove

Was I losing it or was my fella lying?

Claire Lowe, 33, Chesterfield

and very quickly became thought of losing him. an item.

I apologised, begged him For a while, things were for forgiveness. good between us.

I’d had bad relationships Only, Gary was always on in the past, knew I had his phone. trust issues.

‘Who are you texting I didn’t want my past now?’ I moaned to damage my as we ate dinner. future with ‘It’s just Gary, so I tried Sarah,’ he to tell myself I explained. was imagining Sarah was these things. someone he’d Only, a few known for years. months later, I shouldn’t things were be jealousÉ no better.

Only, I felt like Gary was I’d make snippy remarks constantly texting Sarah. about Gary’s constant I felt suspicious, insecure. texting, ask him questions Eventually, after all the time, relentlessly. a few months of dating, Then, one day, he had Gary snapped. a suggestion.

‘If you don’t start trusting ‘Why don’t you see a me, you’re going to lose counsellor?’ he said. me,’ he warned, annoyed, ‘I’m not when I questioned him yet again.

My heart thumped hard in my chest.

By now, I loved Gary more than anything.

Couldn’t Suddenly, I got a bear the stream of messages

I’d make snippy remarks about his texting

crazy!’ I frowned.

But Gary said he was just looking out for me, had my best interests at heart.

So, I agreed to make an appointment to see my doctor.

As soon as I told Gary, he was thrilled.

‘This is going to be so good for you,’ he smiled.

Then he reminded me that he was away the following week with his family and friends.

Sarah would be there…

‘I’ll be staying at my dad’s,’ Gary reassured.

Before he left, we hugged goodbye.

‘I love you, and I only want to be with you,’ he smiled.

Any worries I had faded away.

But we barely spoke that week.

In fact I only called him once, not wanting to bother him, and even then only when I’d seen something on telly we’d

Surely I had no reason to doubt Gary...

agreed to watch together.

He chatted away with me for a few minutes.

Even said ‘I love you’ as we hung up.

But still, that nagging doubt kept coming back.

I’m just being paranoid again, I reasoned.

Later that week, my therapist gave me some coping mechanisms and I left feeling confident.

As soon as Gary came round, I talked him through my session.

‘I feel so much better,’ I grinned, giving him a cuddle.

Only, as Gary looked

through the leaflets my counsellor had given me, I heard my phone ping, over and over.

A string of Facebook messages, one after the other.

My heart was in my mouth when I saw who they were from.

Sarah.

She’d sent me screen shots of messages from Gary to her.

I can’t wait to be with you,one said.

Then she forwarded me images of him half-naked that he’d obviously sent to her.

After you called the other night, we slept

Then she forwarded me images of him half-naked

together, Sarah wrote. and for two more years, My stomach churned. we limped along.

Turning to Gary, But if I had trust issues swallowing back a lump before, now they were out forming in my throat, of control.

I laughed.

I realised I’d never believe ‘Are you kidding me?’ a single word he said again.

I choked.

So in June 2019, ‘So I guess she told you I officially ended things then,’ he sighed. for good.

Although devastated, Now I’ve blocked Gary on in a weird way I also all forms of social media. felt relieved.

I have a new number and I hadn’t been going crazy, email address. after all. I’d been right Gary made me think that all along.

I was crazy.

Gary was a cheating rat!

But the only crazy thing ‘How long has this been about me was that I ever going on?’ I boomed. believed a single word that ‘What do you want me to came out of his mouth. say?’ Gary mumbled.

‘The truth,’ I spat. ‘Why ‘I MADE A MISTAKE’ have you done this to me?’

Gary says, ‘We had ‘I don’t know,’ he said. a rocky relationship, Pathetic. most of it was my fault, ‘Do you love her?’ not all of it. I apologised I asked. a million times to ‘No. She’s only doing this Claire and tried to because I told her it’s you assure her things would I want to be with, not her,’ be different. he grovelled.

‘It was difficult for her, It was the moment and I don’t condone my I knew – I couldn’t trust actions at all, but things a single word Gary said. happen in life. I’ve Grabbing his phone, spoken to Claire about I rang Sarah myself. it a million times.

‘How long has it been ‘Breaking up was the going on?’ I said when she best thing for us. It’s picked up. never nice breaking up ‘Weeks,’ she admitted. with someone, it’s just I was shaking so much, relationships and life.

I felt sick.

‘I made a mistake I wanted to cry but and, unfortunately, I couldn’t.

I hurt someone I loved.

‘He stayed at my house on Do I wish I could take Wednesday night and we it back? Yes, but it is slept together,’ she said. what it is.

‘He told me all about your ‘I’ve apologised counselling and how many times.’ annoying it was when you got paranoid.’

Afterwards, I felt completely drained.

Gary had cheated on me, lied to my face repeatedly.

He’d manipulated me and I’d fallen for it.

I’d even doubted my sanity because of him!

Unbelievable.

As I sat there, sobbing, Gary tried to comfort me.

‘I’m so sorry, I don’t want her,’ he begged.

After a shortI went for lived break-up, counselling I took him back –

25

CRIME SPY RING CRACKED

Hanratty: car attack

ive members of a group known as the Portland Spy Ring were charged in January 1961 and later convicted of espionage.

They’d spent years sharing British intelligence with Russian security agency the KGB. Harry Houghton and Ethel Gee, Morris and Lona Cohen and Gordon Lonsdale were tried in the high-profile espionage case.

Houghton and Gee were sentenced to 15 years and married in prison. Lonsdale and the Cohens were exchanged in prisoner swaps with Russia before serving their sentences.

F A6 KILLING

S

1961 Y

EAR IN CRIMES

MISSING TEEN FOUND DEAD

I

n August 1961, Jacqueline Thomas, 15, from Birmingham, went missing. She was found dead – sexually abused, strangled.

The case was unsolved until, after a cold-case review in 2007, Anthony Hall, 70, was charged.

However, Hall was already in prison for murdering another teenager and a judge ruled the case should be ‘stayed’, deeming Hall wouldn’t have a fair trial.

He died in prison, aged 74.

IT WAS THE YEAR THAT...

A police appeal poster

L: Houghton and Gee. R: The Cohens

FIRST IDENTIKIT ARREST

E

dwin Bush, 21, was arrested in March 1961, after Elsie Batton, 59, was killed while at work in a London antiques shop.

He’d gone into the shop to ask about a sword, and spent some time browsing. He returned later and stabbed and beat Elsie to death, before stealing the weapon.

Bush was the first criminal to be identified by the police’s new identikit process – an image of a person put together through witness descriptions.

Bush was found guilty of murder and executed that July.

Under the Betting and Gaming Act of 1960, betting shops and commercial bingo halls became legal the following year.

Birth control…

The contraceptive Pill became ‘available to all’ on the NHS for the first time on 4 December.

26

Bush: caught by new tech

…and The Beatles!

…betting

On 9 February, The Beatles performed at the legendary Cavern Club in Liverpool for the first time.

WORDS: ANNA MATHESON. PHOTOS: GETTY, ANL/SHUTTERSTOCK, PA IMAGES

cientist Michael Gregsten, 36, was shot dead and his girlfriend Valerie Michael and Valerie Storie, 22, rape in their car on the A6, near Bedford, in August 1961.

She survived five gunshots, but was left paralysed.

James Hanratty, 25, was arrested. Convicted of murder, in 1962 Hanratty was one of the last people to be executed in the UK. His family protested his innocence and, in 2001, his body was exhumed for DNA evidence – which the Court of Appeal said proved his guilt ‘beyond doubt’.

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W

Forty winks

➨

➨

Easy to read Steal from

Will Smith biopic

In the style of (1,2)

Liquid in a tree

Zodiac ram

➦ Metal blend

Thandie - - -, ➨ Crash star

Big grin Dark wood

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SUDOKU To solve the puzzle, each 3 x 3 box, each row and each column must contain the numbers 1 to 9. Solve the puzzle and the numbers in the highlighted squares for the prize answer.

WIN

£60

PHOTO: GETTY

Puzzle 11

Your answer: 28

3 9

WORDSEARCH

1 2

9

6 2

7 6 5 4 6 3 3 6 2 4 8 1 5 1 7 4 2 1 6 7 3

WIN

£50 Puzzle 12

O

riginating in Japan, what type of instrument is a shakuhachi?

The answer is the one missing from the grid.

BANJO BASSOON BUGLE DRUM FIFE

P V V I O L I N H

E L E L U K U O M

B R R S O F R A T

FLUTE GUITAR HORN MANDOLIN PIANO

Your answer: TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details or visit lifedeathprizes.com/win

K A J E I N N D R

B T S F H D A E U

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A MUM’S AGONY

LITTLE ONE A

lso known as the kri-kri, what type of creature is an agrimi?

Solve the crossword, then read down the yellow squares. The yellow shaded squares will spell out the prize answer.

1

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DEATH W

I will do anything to help my much-loved little boy

5 6

A

Leanne Foote, 39, Barrow-in-Furness

7

ACROSS 1 Secret …, spy (5) 4 Satchel, carrier (3) 6 Small valley (4) 7 Bare rocky hill (3) DOWN 1 Church vestment (3) 2 Ready and willing (5) 3 … pole, tribal symbol (5) 5 Clamour (3)

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Your answer: TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details or visit lifedeathprizes.com/win

s the nurse handed me my podgy newborn boy, I fell totally in love with him.

At nearly 10lb, Drew was a big baby, had one blue eye and one green.

He had a big mouth, too, crying from the moment he was born in January 2009!

‘It’s OK, Mummy’s here,’ I cooed as Drew bawled.

Couldn’t wait to introduce him to my two children from a previous relationship.

But back home, no matter how much I comforted him, Drew wouldn’t settle.

He fed well, but he cried constantly, wouldn’t sleep.

My then partner and I took turns to stay up with him.

‘It wasn’t like this with the others,’ I groaned.

They’d been so easy-going.

But as they played together quietly, I was constantly having to rock a wailing Drew.

Over the next few months, I felt so helpless.

None of us slept at night.

When Drew was 6 months, I took him to A&E with a suspected fever, and the nurses wanted to admit me.

‘You’re suffering with

exhaustion,’ they said sympathetically.

But how could I stay in hospital? I had a family to look after.

In March 2010, my son Dontae was born.

Unlike his big brother, Dontae settled straight away.

Normal baby whimpers, only crying when he was feeling hungry.

But still, Drew screamed and shouted all day long.

And when me and my partner split, my heartbreak was intensified

by my distress for Drew, then aged 2.

How will I cope?

Only, I had no choice but to struggle on.

As Drew got older, he became more violent, kicking out and biting me.

At 3, he started nursery.

‘I think there’s something wrong with Drew,’ I confessed to the teacher.

‘He’ll grow out of it,’ she reassured me.

But he didn’t.

Every day, I’d be told he’d only settle with one teacher.

If she wasn’t in, he’d cry all day. And he’d scream and throw toys, wouldn’t play nicely with the other kids.

Though he was a terror,

‘We’ve never seen a child like Drew,’ I was told

A moment of fun with brother Dontae

ith WIS

Drew, please know I’ll always love you

Drew might have autism.

But countless appointments flew by without answers.

It was only when Drew was 8 that he was officially diagnosed with autism.

He was moved to a special

needs school and his behaviour did start to improve slightly.

But during the summer of 2018, while Drew was throwing a wobbler, he said something that made my blood run cold. head is full. I want to yself,’ he screamed. nicked, tears filling es. only 10 years old, n he be having al thoughts? r that, I sat up every just watching him. g he’d never put his into actions. , still, every day shout about how he nted to kill himself.

Please don’t say that, ummy loves you,’ I ld him over and over.

I was sick with anxiety.

He shows cheeky Thankfully, with signs of affection the help of therapy

sessions at school, Drew began to calm down.

And now, though Drew still yells and lashes out, his behaviour is improving.

He’s stopped threatening to hurt himself.

We see more of his lovely side, too – he adores his siblings, playing toy soldiers and telling jokes.

I do worry about the challenges that may lie ahead.

I just hope he’ll remember that Mummy will always love him.

The National Autistic Society provides a confidential expert advice line for autistic people, their families and friends. Call 0808 800 4104, Mon-Thurs, 10am-4pm, and Fri, 9am-3pm. For more info, visit autism.org.uk

31

WORDS: ANNA MATHESON. PHOTOS: FOCUS FEATURES

there were often glimmers of a calm, kind little boy, one who me and his siblings adored.

Cuddling his beloved monkey toy, he was so sweet.

Though he wouldn’t cuddle or kiss me, he showed his affection in other ways, giving me his cheeky smile or telling a joke.

But, unfortunately, those peaceful days were few and far between.

At dinner time, Drew would have a complete meltdown as he hated most foods.

Then, at night, he’d rock himself to sleep or knock loudly on the walls.

For six years, I bare slept at all. Missed ou important moments w the other kids.

And dating was out the question.

My other children t their best to help, but Drew dominated my t At 5, he was exclud from primary school a biting another child.

Though I was horri it meant the head of t Special Needs unit fin took notice.

‘We’ve never seen a child like Drew,’ she told me.

Referring us to a doctor, she believed

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Rotten, bad

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Your answer: 32

3 letters ARC ART ELF RUT 4 letters CORM EPIC ETCH EVIL

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8 letters EIGHTEEN MERCHANT 10 letters ASCETICISM

IN W £100 Puzzle 15

TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details or visit lifedeathprizes.com/win

PHOTO (POSED BY MODEL): GETTY

I

Run away

CIRCLE TIME

n which country are there the most naturally redhaired people, at about 13% of the population? Fit the words into the grid, then read down the letters in the shaded circles.

Burn slightly

Babies’ napkins

W

hat’s another word for ‘indoors’ or ‘the interior’?

Solve the puzzle by following the arrows and writing in your answers. Then read down the letters in the shaded squares to find the prize answer.

Central issue

Aunty Nelly ASK

tells it how it is

I’ve upset my mum

3 tips to...

Cope with empty nest syndrome

Q

My parents had me when they were 18. They recently threw me a big party for my own 18th birthday.

They have their own company and money is no object. They’re still young but they behave like kids – partying, drinking.

At my party, they got drunk and flirted with my mates, who all think they’re amazing.

I screamed at Mum, told her that she was an embarrassment and I wished she wasn’t my mum.

Oh dear, flower! You’re The day after, I tried to apologise but she didn’t want to certainly not the first know and called me ungrateful. person to be embarrassed We don’t speak now and she by their parents! But you also eats alone in her room. disrespected your mum.

What can I do?

She’s worked hard to bring Phoenix, 18 you up. If she wants to let her

A

Sex is a flop

Q

I’ve been married for eight years and we have young children who take up most of our energy. Our sex life has gone downhill...

When we do find time, there is no foreplay and it’s all over very quickly. I’m frustrated. I still really fancy him and want the intimacy.

Clare, 35

TALK ABOUT IT Don’t be afraid to turn to friends and family for support. However, not everyone goes through empty nest syndrome – so tell those you know will understand.

1 hair down, she’s allowed.

Knock on her door and tell her how sorry you are, that you shouldn’t have spoken to her like that and that you love her.

She’ll give you a hug, tell you it’s OK, and you can move on.

A

Having kids is no excuse.

You’ve both got to put the effort in, every day.

Try going out for a date night or a weekend away. Be honest with your husband, tell him that you’re not enjoying your sex life and that it’s over too soon.

But also find other ways to feel intimate – hold hands, have a cuddle. It’s not all about sex, you know!

FIND YOU AGAIN An empty nest means you have space and time to get back in touch with the old you. Did you love music, cooking, painting..? This is a great time to crack on with what you love or something you never knew could be fun.

2

KEEP IN TOUCH Don’t just rely on texts with your kids. Plan a time that’s convenient for you both and spend a good hour chatting. You can have a proper catch-up. Don’t forget to give yourself a pat on the back – you’ve raised an independent child who’s not afraid to live their own life.

3

He’s risking everything

Q

My husband’s a smoker, and after three heart attacks he still hasn’t given up.

He’s now registered disabled and no longer works.

I refuse to buy him cigs and I’ve told everyone not to buy him any, but he still finds a way.

We argue about it constantly.

I’ve never had an addiction myself and really don’t understand why he doesn’t want to be here for our children

and grandchildren.

How can I make him see sense?

Nancy, 56 I’m not on his side or yours, chuck. You’re right, he shouldn’t be smoking, but he is. Try supporting him, take him to the GP or suggest a cessation clinic.

Nagging him will just make him reach for the packet even more.

Explain how much you love him and how frightened you are of losing him.

A

Want Aunty Nelly’s advice? Send your problems to chat_magazine@ti-media.com

33

FACEBOOK.COM/ANTONELLAUNCENSORED. INSTAGRAM.COM/ANTONELLAUNCENSORED. NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. AUNTY NELLY PHOTO: PHILIPPA GRACE PHOTOGRAPHY. PHOTOS (POSED BY MODELS): GETTY

Our Antonella

First cancer then love...

MY DIARY

I’d been through chemo, surely I could survive online dating!

Jo Turner, 31, Doncaster

December2014

I

’m smiling in this picture, giving the camera a thumbs up.

But inside, I’m feeling drained. Chemo will do that to you.

Being diagnosed with breast cancer, aged 26, wasn’t something that I’d ever expected.

I’d found the lump on my left breast back in October.

Feeling it as I showered, I never thought for a second it would be cancer.

I’m too young, I thought.

Even my doctors doubted it at first.

But

Inside, I’m shattered...

eventually I was referred to a breast clinic.

I’d had a mammogram, biopsy and a full body scan.

Knew it wasn’t looking good, though.

‘It’s cancer, isn’t it?’ I asked my nurse outright.

‘Yes,’ she replied. ‘We’re going to do all that we can for you.’

I was diagnosed with aggressive grade-3 breast cancer.

I’d needed chemo before having surgery.

So here I am, a few weeks into treatment, having lost my hair.

I’d been warned it’d happen, cut my long blonde hair into a bob in preparation.

But when I started waking up to find my pillowcase coated in hair each morning, I knew it was time to go the whole hog.

So, I got a friend to shave the lot off.

Taking control felt good, but the chemo is making me feel really sick.

I’m exhausted but I know I need to keep on fighting.

If not for me, then for my daughter, who’s 18 months. I’ve just got to keep going.

July 2015

W

ell, I finally got my way!

After five operations in 12 weeks, doctors finally relented and gave me a mastectomy.

It’s been a long time coming and it feels good to know I was right.

But is it weird having only one breast?

Of course it is!

At first, doctors wanted to save as much of my boob as possible.

‘If the rest is still healthy, we’ll just take out what we need to,’ they explained.

That’s why I was initially scheduled for a lumpectomy. But when the first op didn’t work, I’d needed to have another.

Then they found I still had cancer.

‘We’re going to have to do a mastectomy,’

the doctors told me.

Result!

Believe me, I know that probably sounds strange.

Who would think having a mastectomy is a good thing?

They decided to attempt a reconstruction at the same time, too, but then that went awry. Caused a blood clot that began to travel up towards my neck.

An emergency op to remove the clot and another surgery later, here I am.

Now I’ve only got the one boob and I’m hoping this is the end of it.

Maybe I’ll have another attempt at reconstruction in the future?

But I haven’t decided yet.

August 2016

F I’m going to live life to the full

eeling incredible!

Not only have I been cancer free for six months, I’m standing in the middle of Iceland.

This picture was taken on day two of our three-day trek across the Golden Circle.

I’m here with other cancer survivors on the trip arranged by CoppaFeel!, a breast-cancer awareness

September2019

S

Still smiling after a mastectomy

charity. And we’ve seen waterfalls, glaciers and geysers.

Spending quality time with other cancer survivors has been inspiring.

We’ve swapped stories and advice. Shared laughter and tears.

Part of me never wants to leave. But tomorrow, we’re

doing the final stint of the 63km trek back to Reykjavik.

Being away from home has helped me to reflect on what I really want in life now.

I’m going to start living life to the fullest.

This trip will be the first of many more adventures.

Time spent with other cancer survivors is inspiring

someone else’s life like that.

I want cancer survivors to know they’re not alone.

Hopefully, another woman going through treatment can read it and be comforted, knowing I’ve been there and lived to tell the tale.

But most of all, I hope it’ll encourage women to keep checking their breasts.

I found my lump by chance, but a regular check could save your life.

o, I’ve been busy...

I wrote a book!

And today’s the day it goes on sale.

It’s called How Not To Date Online (With One Boob) and I’ve spilled everything...

From the emotional and gruesome realities of cancer treatment. To the hilarious highs and lows of dating with one boob.

Although, I have to admit, I have been looking into going private for a reconstruction – if I decide to do it, I best start saving.

There’s even an update on me and Lewis in there...

We’re still going strong!

And right at the end is an entire section dedicated to checking yourself for lumps.

Looking back, my life during treatment feels surreal.

The toughest years of my life.

But putting pen to paper has been so cathartic.

I think it’s helped me finally get some closure on cancer.

And maybe my I hope my book book can impact will help others

WORDS: EMMA ROSSITER, CLAIRE WILSON. PHOTOS: STEWART WILLIAMS/THE SUN/NEWS LICENSING. HOW NOT TO DATE ONLINE (WITH ONE BOOB) BY JO TURNER (£9.99, JJ MOFFS LTD)

r,

Me and Lewis

to be the one for me!

But then I was matched with Lewis, 24. Everything changed with him.

He didn’t care that I was divorced and had a 5-year-old daughter.

And when I explained about my cancer story, he didn’t even flinch.

‘I don’t care if you’ve got one boob or three,’ he joked.

Things feel so much easier with Lewis.

I think we’re on to something good here.

£600 cash!

CODE CRACKER

N I W D £500

ancer Oti Mabuse has revealed that she particularly loves which food?

To find out, solve the puzzle...

Fill in the grid. Each letter of the Puzzle 16 alphabet has been replaced by a number from 1 to 26. When you’ve completed the grid, the shaded squares will spell out the two-word prize answer. We’ve given you five letters to start you off.

A B C F G H J K M X Y Z N O P Q R S T U V 13

15

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n artwork consisting of a piece of which fruit was sold at a gallery in Miami for $120,000, then eaten by another performance artist?

Unscramble each group of letters to discover six types of fruit. Now fit them across the grid and you’ll spell out the answer to the question.

1. TRY BY EAR 2. NOMADS 3. ENGAGE REG 4. CHEAP 5. RAN ADMIN 6. CRATE NINE

IN W £100

PHOTO: GETTY

Puzzle 17

Your answer: 36

26

26

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6

10

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1

19

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17

10

24

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TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details or visit lifedeathprizes.com/win

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L W

SO POORLY

Our lit Minio

I was terrified my baby wouldn’t see her first birthday Dee Lothian, 36, Eastbourne

WORDS: FRANCES LEATE, TRACY GAYTON. PHOTOS: PRIME FEATURES

A

s me and my husband Wayne, then 35, walked through our front door, newborn Tiffany in my arms, a welcome party was waiting.

Our family had gathered to greet our new bundle.

‘She’s perfect!’ my motherin-law Christine cooed.

Our three older kids, Harry, then 11, Ruby, 10, and Courtney, 2, crowded around their new sister.

It was April 2015. I was exhausted, but it was lovely to see baby Tiffany getting so much fuss.

‘I’ll take her,’ my niece Fern, then 21, offered as Tiffany started to cry.

And as soon as Fern held her, Tiffany’s tears dried up.

‘The magic touch!’ I smiled.

But as the days went on, I often struggled to get Tiffany to settle. Resorted to carrying her around in a sling.

‘Do you think her skin

looks yellow?’ I asked the health visitor days later.

‘A bit of jaundice, that’s all,’ she reassured me.

She suggested I put her to sleep by a window.

Only, by the time Tiffany was 6 weeks old, her skin was still tinged yellow, her stomach swollen.

In June 2015, the doctor agreed she needed tests.

At St Helier Hospital in Carshalton, Surrey, Tiffany had bloods taken and an ultrasound.

‘There’s a problem with her liver,’ a doctor confirmed.

We were quickly whisked off to King’s College Hospital, London.

There, specialists diagnosed Tiffany with biliary atresia, a disease of the liver.

She needed surgery to remove her gall bladder,

Little Tiffany’s chances were slim

but we were sent home for a few days first.

‘Don’t look online,’ the consultant told us, handing us leaflets instead.

But, that night, I couldn’t help myself.

Low chance of survival, I read.

Suddenly I realised Tiffany might die.

Will she live to see her first birthday?

Still be here to start school?

It was almost too much to bear.

But I had to stay positive for Tiffany, for our other kids.

‘Tiffany is poorly,’ Wayne and I told them.

By now, Tiffany’s skin was mottled and bright yellow.

‘She’s a little Minion,’ I joked, trying to cheer up Courtney, who looked down at her sister, worry etched across her face.

Later that week, Tiffany went into hospital for the six-hour operation.

Afterwards, she screamed out in pain.

‘I’m sorry,’ I said, desperate to cuddle her.

But she was attached to machines, a tube through her nose.

After five days, Tiffany

My girl’s skin was mottled and bright yellow

We were in and out of hospital

was allowed home.

Only, her little tummy was still swollen.

And in August 2015, I pulled off her socks to find her feet had turned blue.

Panic-stricken, I rushed her back to hospital.

She quickly deteriorated.

Shivering and shaking in her cot, her temperature and heart rate shot up.

‘She needs a liver transplant or she won’t survive,’ a consultant said.

But finding a match wasn’t easy.

Not only did the donor need the same blood type, Tiffany was so tiny she could only take part of the liver from someone small.

‘It will be from a child,’ the consultant explained.

As a living child can’t donate their liver because of the health risks, it dawned on me what this meant.

I was praying a donor would come forward to save my daughter’s life, but someone else’s child would have to die first.

Willing Tiffany to stay strong, I was in turmoil...

You should SEE HER NOW 37

SO THANKFUL

Liver sisters B Continued from previous page

y September 2015, Tiffany was desperately ill.

She’d contracted sepsis and doctors warned that she might be too weak for a liver transplant.

But me and Wayne never gave up hope.

Although unlikely, we were both tested to see if we were a compatible match.

But we weren’t.

Then, on a rare night that Tiffany was allowed home, I heard her cry out from her cot.

Picking her up, I gently rubbed her back.

But she started coughing up blood.

‘Call an ambulance,’ I cried to Wa By the tim paramedics I was covere baby’s blood I knew the my little girl was dying.

We were desperate to a donor, but leads that ca forward wer all found to b a poor match Days later, Fern came to visit us.

‘I’m a matc she smiled.

Now Tiffany’s ‘But...’ a cheeky schoolgirl!

I stuttered.

Fern explained th she’d been te and found to match weeks but she hadn

38

to get our hopes up.

Instead, she secretly underwent the mentalhealth assessment and the further health checks that were needed.

Because she was very petite, it was perfect.

‘We can go ahead with the transplant,’ she said.

I couldn’t believe it.

‘It’s too risky, you’re so young,’ I sobbed, shaking my head.

It was such a big operation and could result in serious complications.

But Fern was determined.

‘I’ll be fine and so will Tiffany,’ she promised.

Me and Wayne were overwhelmed with gratitude.

Fern and Tiffany are i d have red bond. never d Fern e one to life. ember rn and ffany, were down for

Special bond: Fern and Tiffany

the eight-hour surgery.

The whole family waited nervously in the hospital corridor.

Surgeons removed part of Fern’s liver and transferred it to Tiffany.

The liver is the only organ in the human body to regenerate.

It was hoped that parts of Fern’s liver would grow back and the part she’d given to Tiffany would grow, too.

Afterwards, a surgeon came to see us.

‘It was a perfect match,’ he smiled.

Fern recovered quickly, but was left with a scar snaking across her tummy.

‘It’s a small price to pay,’ she said.

And, almost overnight, Tiffany was like a different baby.

Her yellow skin took on a healthy, A reason to smile: rosy glow. me, Wayne and Tiffany had a the kids few setbacks when

she contracted a virus – but in February 2016, she came home for good.

And from then, she went from strength to strength.

Now, it’s hard to believe our energetic 4-year-old was ever so close to dying.

She loves life and is a cheeky, headstrong character who we adore.

Fern, 25, lives with her boyfriend in Australia and is training to be a teacher.

She’s our hero – I can never thank her enough.

Tiffany calls Fern her ‘liver sister’ and they talk on the phone all the time.

Taking Tiffany to her first day at school last September felt like a miracle.

There were times when I thought I would never see that day.

But thanks to Fern, Tiffany has a bright future ahead of her.

Almost overnight, she was like a different baby

Dee is raising funds for the Children’s Liver Disease Foundation. Visit childliverdisease.org

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…the policy cover against the excess. Excess is the amount you will be required to pay in certain situations if you need to make a claim.

Make sure you’re happy with the amount you’ve been quoted and the level of cover with which it comes – or even better, find a policy with zero excess, such as CoverForYou* and Cedar Tree.

Go digital You could find it easier make sure all your belon are covered on your ho insurance policy if you check out buzzvault insurance. An assessor will do a survey of your home by video-call. Visit gobuzzvault.com. As ever, shop around for insurance and always read the T&Cs carefully.

Travel offer

Now 2020 is here, many of us are already looking into our weeks away for the year.

From France to Spain to Italy, Eurocamp offers plenty of options. If you book before 26 Feb, you can get up to 40% off a stunning European break. With week-long trips for as little as £350 per party, including Easter and May half term, it’s a great saving.

Visit eurocamp.co.uk for more info.

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start date to there and then, rather than your trip start date, to ensure you’re covered for any pre-holiday issues, such as medical or flight disruptions. In these uncertain times, you could even opt for a travel disruption add-on for extra protection, such as CoverForYou’s Brexit Travel Disruption Cover.

NO-FUSS FOOD Top tip Fill these with anything you like – why not try jam?

Sweet treats

Delicious recipes for an excuse to celebrate World Nutella Day on 5 Feb!

Malted double chocolate and Nutella biscuits More is sometimes, most definitely, more…

MAKES 15 PREP TIME 10 MINS COOK TIME 15 MINS

100g butter, softened ● 2tbsp Nutella ●

40

50g caster sugar ● 150g plain flour ● 30g malted milk powder – we used Horlicks ● 2tbsp each of Nutella chocolate spread and dulce de leche (or caramel), to decorate ● Pinch flaky sea salt ●

1

Preheat oven to 180C/Gas 4.

Beat together the butter, 2tbsp Nutella and the sugar until well combined. Add the flour and malted milk powder and briefly beat until brought together.

Roll balls of the mixture and arrange them on a lined baking tray.

2

3

Bake in the preheated oven for 15 mins, until cooked. Use the back of a spoon to make an indent in each one. Leave to cool.

Spoon a little Nutella or dulce de leche into the dent of every biscuit and sprinkle with some flaky sea salt.

Nutella trifle A gloriously indulgent trifle.

Delish!

SERVES 8 PREP TIME 20 MINS, PLUS CHILLING COOK TIME 5 MINS ●● 600ml whole milk ●● 1tsp vanilla extract ●● 6 egg yolks ●● 1tbsp cornflour ●● 200g jar Nutella ●● 300ml whipping

cream ●● 1 loaf chocolate-

chip brioche, cut into cubes ●● 100g bar Ritter Sport Hazelnuts, chopped

1

Warm the milk and vanilla in a pan. In a bowl, whisk

Top tip

together the egg yolks and cornflour.

Slowly pour the warmed milk onto the egg yolks, whisking all the time.

Pour the mixture back into the pan and heat, stirring all the time, until thickened.

Pour into a bowl and stir in the Nutella until melted.

Cover with cling film, cool slightly then chill until completely cold.

Whip the cream until thick enough to form soft peaks.

Layer the brioche and custard in a serving dish, then top with spoonfuls of whipped cream.

Scatter with chopped chocolate and chill until ready to serve.

If you don’t want to make the custard, buy a 600ml fresh carton, warm it and stir in the Nutella.

2 3

Hazelnut and Nutella meringue cake More of a dessert than a cake – squidgy, nutty and meringue-filled, with a wonderful Nutella cream.

SERVES 8-10 PREP TIME 25 MINS, PLUS COOLING COOK TIME 50 MINS

For the meringue: ●● 3 free-range egg whites ●● 175g caster sugar ●● 75g ground hazelnuts

For the filling and topping: ●● 200ml double cream ●● 6tbsp Nutella or other chocolate nut spread ●● Whole hazelnuts and chocolate curls, to decorate, plus cocoa powder, to dust You will need: ●● 2 x 18cm loose-based cake tins, oiled and lined with baking parchment

1

Try serving this with fresh strawberries and raspberries too.

COMPILED BY: JESSICA RANSOM. PHOTOS: TI-MEDIACONTENT.COM

Top tip

Heat the oven to 150C/Gas 2. Whisk the egg whites until stiff, then slowly add the sugar, 1tbsp at a time.

Gently fold in the nuts then divide between the two tins and put into the oven. Turn down the oven temperature immediately to 130C/Gas ½, bake for 50 mins then allow the meringue to cool in the switched-off oven. Run a flat knife around the tin then tip out onto a flat plate.

Lightly whip the cream then whisk in the Nutella.

Sandwich the meringues with the cream. Stick on the hazelnuts with a little of the cream. Top with chocolate curls and dust with cocoa powder.

2

41

This week

Our top telly picks – you’ll kick yourself if you miss

The BAFTA Film Awards

BBC1 Graham Norton hosts the annual ceremony at London’s Royal Albert Hall. The Elton John biopic Rocketman is up for Best Film, while its star Taron Egerton could bag a gong for Leading Actor – a category which also features Leonardo DiCaprio for his role in Once Upon A Time in Hollywood and Joker’s Joaquin Phoenix. Leading Actress nominations include Renée Zellweger as singing legend Judy Garland in Judy.

Meanwhile, other films up for awards include 1917, Bombshell, Little Women and Frozen 2!

DON’T MISS

Graham’s host for the night

The stars are out for the BAFTAs

Vera

DON’T MISS

ITV The final case of the series involves the shooting of a wealthy betting shop magnate in what appears to be a burglary gone wrong.

But when Brenda Blethyn’s wily detective investigates, she uncovers a clear-cut case of corruption and the possibility of an inside job.

Bad times in Baghdad Reece, Ralf, David and Steve

BaghdadCentral

WORDS: MICHAEL DARLING

Inside No. 9 BBC2 More twisted tales as the anthology comedy returns, with Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton again at the helm. The first story is about a top football referee (David Morrissey) and his officials (Ralf Little, Steve

42

and Reece) in the ref’s room at the stadium, preparing for the big match between local rivals United and Rovers. Guest stars later this series include Jenna Coleman, Jill Halfpenny and Fionn Whitehead.

Vera’s on the case

C4 This six-part thriller, set in the Iraqi city of Baghdad during the 2003 US occupation, follows ex-cop Muhsin al-Khafaji (Waleed Zuaiter) as he embarks on a dangerous search for his missing daughter among the chaos and lawlessness. Doctor Foster’s Bertie Carvel (above, with Clara Khoury) also stars.

30 January - 5 February

Soap world

Your STARS

Coronation Street ita’s special mission

Chat astrologer Sally Morgan reads your week ahead

aurel and Arthur’s sa

Laurel is rocked by Archie's confession

Eastenders nda’s in for a shock When Linda’s drunken antics put Ollie in danger, Shirley’s determined to get her daughterin-law to face up to her problems and insists she goes to a support session for addicts.

Linda agrees, but is soon back on the booze, unaware there’s shocking news on the horizon that might just sober her up!

Shirley tries to help Linda

Hollyoaks Can Mitchell win back Scott?

After being dumped by Scott, Mitchell’s hit the dating scene, but he can’t get his ex out of his head so begs him to give him another chance. Meanwhile, Scott plans to move to London with his new fella Azim. Will he leave the village, or stay behind to work things out with Mitchell?

Libra

Expect a smooth ride, Aries, your ambition to succeed in something you want to achieve will be in top gear.

Someone offers a lifeline that should be considered.

Valuable information from loved ones will bring you a surge of excitement.

And a thoughtful gift will strengthen your feelings of friendship and love.

● Call 0905 817 0690* for more

● Call 0905 817 0696* for more

Taurus

Scorpio

Time to scrap stuff that’s not working and replace it with something that will.

Now’s the time to put things straight with someone to create a stronger bond.

You’ll sense a thoughtful, sharing attitude now, as a partner will want to show how much they care. This is a good moment to chat about the future…

● Call 0905 817 0691* for more

● Call 0905 817 0697* for more

Gemini

Sagittarius

You’ll be surprised at just how far you get at work, as your organisation skills will come into play with full force. News from a relative brings peace and joy.

A green light for go is now on, as a development in romance leads you closer to a lover’s heart. Your efforts will be rewarded by their positive response.

● Call 0905 817 0692* for more

● Call 0905 817 0698* for more

Cancer

Capricorn

Expand your mind through education or cultural activities – it’ll prove useful!

A hint to travel for pleasure will likely come from an unexpected source.

It’s worth getting back into leisure activities, now you’re feeling fit and healthy again. A detox will work wonders and a special friendship will inspire you.

● Call 0905 817 0693* for more

● Call 0905 817 0699* for more

Leo

Aquarius

Your dedication will be richly rewarded, as you take wise steps to protect your interests. Take friendly advice seriously, it’ll bring new ideas for investment.

Bring out your sensitive side, as someone will pour their heart out and seek comfort in your arms. Luck with money matters is on your side, but don’t push it!

Mitchell can’t forget Scott

● Call 0905 817 0694* for more

● Call 0905 817 0700* for more

Virgo

Pisces

Not a week to keep the lid on any ambitions you may have – take a chance on something different. A new workmate may look to you for help and advice.

You’ll find yourself in the thick of a social whirl, as your popularity soars.

Everyone wants a little piece of you, so save some energy for yourself.

● Call 0905 817 0695* for more

● Call 0905 817 0701* for more

21 April-21 May

22 May-21 June

22 June-23 July

24 July-23 Aug

24 Aug-23 Sep

24 Sep-23 Oct

24 Oct-22 Nov

23 Nov-21 Dec

22 Dec-20 Jan

21 Jan-19 Feb

20 Feb-20 March

*STARLINES UPDATED EVERY THURSDAY. CALLS COST 80P PER MIN PLUS YOUR TELEPHONE COMPANY’S NETWORK ACCESS CHARGE AND LAST AROUND 4 MINS. FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. USERS MUST BE OVER 18. YOU MUST HAVE THE BILL PAYER’S PERMISSION. SP: SPOKE 0333 202 3390.

Rita and co take Dennis to Blackpool

Emmerdale aurel receives the hat Sandy has died When she tells the k rthur takes it badly nd decides to own p to hurting Archie When Jai returns fro ehab, will she tell h bout her son being asty to his little boy

Aries

21 March-20 April

PHOTOS: BBC, JACK BARNES, ITV, LIME PICTURES, NURPHOTO, PA ARCHIVE, PA IMAGES, SIPA USA, DISNEY, NIKO TAVERNISE, WARNER BROTHERS, CHANNEL 4, ITV

a special hour-long show to ark the soap’s 10,000th pisode, Rita plans to go to lackpool to scatter the shes of her ex-hubby ennis Tanner and enny decides to ake a day of it by rganising a coach ip for the locals…

last rds

REMEMBERING DADDY

got to make ur final row st of Dean

ew nto ay, my 30, ng. eds d no I a smile. t ridden some ob ving ed t was ctional.

May ut to y. son Jai plus my Taylor, 13. fect way e bankweekend. g home 10.30pm, tucked Jai ai into bed nd closed he door to is bedroom.

But it dn’t drown ut the loud hattering f Joe and our

neighbour who he’d invited over to carry on the weekend’s celebrations.

I marched downstairs and burst into the lounge.

‘You’ll wake Jai J I protested.

As our neighbour slammed down his beer.

‘You always spoil my fun,’ he spat before storming out.

Joe and I first met over Facebook in June 2013.

We’d got engaged on Christmas Day that same year.

After five years together, I knew all too well when he was in one of his moods.

And this was one of them.

In the garden, we continued to bicker.

Joe grabbed his new bike and started wheeling it down the driveway, unable to get it started.

I tried to stop him.

‘You’ve had a beer!’ I said.

But I was fighting a losing battle.

He just wanted to get away.

‘What do I tell your son when you don’t come home?’

I shouted after him.

I never meant a word of it.

It was just a stupid row.

But for the next half hour

I’ll tell Jai Jai all about him

edge as I sat on the sofa.

Something didn’t feel right.

I told Taylor to grab her coat while I got Jai Jai out of bed and put him in his pushchair.

‘We’re going to look for Daddy,’ I told Jai Jai. I knew Joe wouldn’t have got very far, especially with his bike not working.

But after walking five minutes down the road, we saw a crowd of people and some blue flashing lights.

Somehow, I knew it was Joe. ‘Great,’ I said to Taylor. ‘A night in A&E over a broken arm is just what we need.’

Then, in the midst of my sarcasm, one of our neighbours came rushing

vital organs.

Harrowing.

In the days that followed, I set about organising Joe’s funeral.

As I sat in the chapel, I burst into tears.

Why my Joe? I thought.

Joe’s funeral was held on 19 May 2018, and huge crowds turned out to celebrate his life.

Both Taylor and I delivered speeches.

Now, we visit Joe’s grave every week.

Each night before I tuck Jai Jai into bed, we look at photos of us all together.

‘This is when me and Daddy went caravanning,’ I tell him, pointing at the pictures.

Even if Jai Jai doesn’t remember that much about his dad, he knows exactly who he is.

And I will never let Happy times: him forget. me, Taylor and Joe Just as I never will.

Jai Jai is a lovely reminder of Joe. over to me... it,’ the officer said.

He has the same eyes ‘You need to go down ‘Why are you lying to me?’ and hair as him and is just there,’ she exclaimed.

I hissed, in sheer denial. as mischievous.

But, still annoyed after our But as they explained Now I have to walk past squabble, maybe in shock, more about what had that same spot where I saw I turned around and took happened, I realised… the blue lights every day. the kids back to the house.

Joe was dead.

And every time I do, I can A few minutes later, the I couldn’t believe it. still see exactly how things police were at my door.

‘But I was with him just looked that fateful night.

My heart hammered in my half an hour ago,’ I tried to You never think it’s going chest as I invited them in. reason to the police officer to happen to someone ‘There’s been an accident,’ through streams of tears. close to you. an officer explained.

As Taylor came into the I wish my last words had All I could do was sit and room, I had to tell her. been different, wish we listen as they explained Joe Her sobs fell in sync hadn’t argued. had managed with mine.

But Joe knew how much to get his bike I looked over at Jai Jai, I loved him and that serves started then blissfully unaware his as a comfort for me. crashed it into daddy was gone.

I think twice about silly a van parked I called Joe’s family and I squabbles now. Senseless on a bend. ran door-to-door around our words you’ll live to regret.

He’d suffered close-knit neighbourhood.

I always tell my babies serious injuries.

Tears streamed down that I love them before they Medics had my face as I told them go to sleep. tried to perform the terrible news.

Because you just never emergency surgery on him Joe was loved by everyone. know when your time is up. as he lay in the road.

His kind and caring A HEADSTONE But it was to no avail. nature meant he made Leanne is fundraising While I’d thought Joe had friends wherever he went. to buy a headstone just had a minor bump, I’d How can he just be gone? for Joe’s grave. been oblivious to the reality.

We soon found out Joe For more information, Then the officer broke the had sustained seven fatal visit: justgiving.com/ truth I had tried to walk injuries in the crash. crowdfunding/ away from.

He’d broken his ribs, leanne-bale-1 ‘I’m afraid Joe didn’t make the bones puncturing his

WORDS: FIONA KINLOCH, KELLY STRANGE.

I think twice about silly squabbles these days

45

YOU LITTLE BEAUTY

LOOK GREAT TODAY

Your questions answered, plus our pick of the products LETTEeR

Q

I get such chapped lips in the winter and no amount of balm seems to help. Any suggestions?

Ashley Anderson, 34, London

of th ! week

A

Lip balms tend to work at surface level, giving temporary comfort, but not actually treating the causes of dry, peeling lips.

Instead, try a few skincare tricks, starting with exfoliation.

Gently work Barry M Mango Lip Scrub, £4.99, in circles to de-flake, then follow with Burt’s Bees Intensive Lip Treatment £6.98. As well as nourishing oils, it contains ceramides, which are naturally occurrin lipids that strengthen skin and prevent moisture loss.

Finally, don’t forget that dehydration can be a hidden cause of chapped lips, so fol the age-old beauty advice an be sure to drink plenty of wa

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Clairol Natural Instincts Conditioning Colour, £6.99 This home hair dye is 100% vegan, has a super-gentle formula with aloe vera, plus it comes in a recyclable carton and PVC-free plastic bottles.

3 OF THE BEST MULTITASKING TIPS & TRICKS Bridget O’Keeffe, Founder of Blush + Blow Beauty Bar, shares her beauty know-how Collection Illuminating Touch Brightening Concealer, £3.99 Keep a concealer in your bag to touch up any lastminute mistakes. Use it to neaten the edges of lipstick, conceal mascara that’s smudged under your eyes and to correct messy eyeliner.

Lime Crime Velvetines Lip Liner in Pumpkin, £14.50 Lip liner can also be used as a matte lipstick.

It won’t move or smudge and you don’t have to do any more than simply line and fill in.

If you’re in a rush... …use your fingertips to apply make-up suchasblusher or lipstick. The warmth of your hands means you’ll be able to move the product around more easily.

7th Heaven Coconut Clay Peel Off Mask, £1.74 This purifying clay mask draws oil from your skin in the most satisfying way, while nourishing with coconut oil Plus it smells li Bounty b Dr Bronners 18-in-1 Pure Castile liquid soap, £2.39 There are 18 uses for this multitasker, including cleansing your face, body, hair – even the dishes This product has been vegan sinc long before it was cool and comes in loads of amazing flavours – almond and rose are our faves.

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WIN

THE BIG QUIZ

£500 Puzzle 18

T

he answers to all but one of these quiz questions can be found hidden in this wordsearch grid, reading forwards, backwards, up, down or diagonally. To help you, we’ll tell you that the answers are in alphabetical order in each section.

However, one answer can’t be found in the grid. This is your prize answer.

THE SILVER SCREEN – PURPLE Which capital city completes the title of the 1985 film, The Purple Rose of ..? (5) Who starred in, and provided the music for the 1984 movie Purple Rain? (6) Who was nominated for an Oscar for her role as Celie Johnson in the 1985 film The Color Purple? (6,8)

1

2 3

WHERE IN THE WORLD? BLACK The underground station of Blackfriars lies on the Circle and which other line? (8)

4

O R G E N E T N O M N

5 6

G E R M A N Y R D Y E

Y W P R I N C E I U W

V H X T E T I K S E H

A O L Y L E A C T D A

The Black Forest is a famous region of which European country? (7) Which European country has a name that translates into English as ‘Black Mountain’? (10)

N O L D U L B A R L M

T P L D R K E R I X P

N I C L A I L C C E S

A G D A N E B T T S H

H O L I I B N U I S I

C L A A S R M N A U R

PLUM In which English county would you find the National Hunt racecourse Plumpton? (4,6) By what name is a dried plum commonly

10 11

LILA W a W h vers W t offic

7 8 9

R D U S E O O E E S E

E B S N E O S H P T S

M E U T O K O T W S R

V R A I D S R T N A W

P G C H I C A G O E A

12

Which ballet includes the character of the Sugar Plum Fairy? (3,10) NAVY Navy Pier lies

13

PHOTOS: ALAMY, GETTY

6. Name the country

2. Who’s the star?

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Amazin I won £2,80 PROMOTION

I came home to an unexpected big win Maria Heywood, 66, Manchester lipping on my coat and grabbing a couple of ‘bags for life’, I shouted through to my hubby.

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We were just about to pop out to the shops together.

While I waited for him to

WORDS: FIONA KINLOCH

S

finish getting himself ready, I decided to log on to my computer and on to Chat Mag Bingo.

I’ve always been a huge fan of bingo and have been playing for years. I found it really fun and an exciting game to play.

I’d first joined the Chat Mag Bingo site back in 2007

and I also enjoyed going to bingo halls with my friends on an evening out.

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want to leave the house!

So I enjoyed being able to play from the comfort of home. I liked the fact that I could decide when I wanted to play, and that there was a friendly chat community.

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Try 75 Balls of Bingo Fun!

WHAT IS 75BALL BINGO? How many 75Ball Bingo rooms arethere at Chat Mag Bingo?

There are four, Lounge, Bingo 20, Speed Bingo Round the Clock.

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75-Ball Bingo is played on a 5x5 grid bingo ticket, with 24 numbers rn, between 1 and 75. The numbers on the card will be in a specific patteof such as a pyramid, bench chair or triangle – or even a total Blackout ! numbers. The first player to dab the winning pattern or Blackout wins

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There are two, the game jackpot which is won every new game and the Progressive Jackpot. The Progressive jackpot keeps growing until it’s won within a set number of ball calls. In the Lounge room, you’ll also find ‘Loungin’ Around’ a third Super £2,000 Jackpot between 2-3pm and 7-8pm.

Howmuch are the bingo tickets?

Tickets are just 1p in the Speed Bingo room and 10p each in the other rooms.

803! game to play out while my husband and I shopped.

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It was a lovely surprise, of course, but this wasn’t my first big win…

I’d scooped another big cash prize a few years earlier in 2013, again while playing in Bingo Lounge.

This win came as I played during a catch-up with a friend. We were chatting away, when I realised I had only one number to go.

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HOLIDAY TIME Cosy evenings in

2

In Peterchurch, the threebedroom, 17th century Mill Cottage is a 10-minute drive from Hay-on-Wye. It overlooks an ancient hay meadow, and is surrounded by the Black Mountains, Brecon Beacons and Herefordshire trail.

It’s a walker’s dream – if you can bear to leave your comfy lodgings!

Reach for the stars

Sky’s the limit

Novel days out

1

Enjoy fresh country air with a spot of stargazing. Just south of Hayon-Wye lies Hay Bluff – a place of outstanding natural beauty and listed by the Brecon Beacons National Park as one of its top 10 places to see the stars. Overlooking the Wye Valley, its low light-pollution levels allow for hours of peaceful viewing.

WORDS: ZOE WEST, EMMA SHACKLOCK. PHOTOS: IAN BOTTLE, CMH.IMAGES, SHEILA HALSALL, ALEX RAMSAY, ALI WILLIAMS/ALAMY, MICHAEL ROBERTS/GETTY

s n o s a e 6 r isit... to v

Browse the bookshops

3 Get cosy in the perfect cottage

Lose yourself in the peace of the Welsh countryside, and soak up the literary and cultural heritage of this ‘town of books’

The town of Hay is a treat for second-hand book browsers.

After Richard Booth opened his first bookshop in 1961, there came many others, and the Hay Festival of Literature and Arts launched in 1988. At the 10-day event, you can enjoy all things literary and talks by writers from around the world.

Get exploring!

Cultural hotspot

4

6

From shorter walks following the River Wye, to longer trails in the nearby Brecon Beacons National Park and the Begwyns moorland, there are many established routes, as well as untouched gems. The popular riverside walk has several starting points throughout the village itself.

Walk along the River Wye

If it’s culture you’re after, look no further than ancient Hay Castle. It dates back as far as the Norman conquest and now incorporates a Jacobean manor house into its medieval structure.

Undergoing conservation work at the moment, the grand opening is expected in spring 2020, but you can still see the magnificent structure during your time in the ‘town of books’ and visit the Castle shops in the Backfold lane.

Cosy pubs

5

Check out the country pubs

Inside the many country pubs of Hay-on-Wye you’ll discover open log fires, squishy sofas and great food. Try Kilverts in the heart of Hay, a stylish pub with a beer garden and menu of locally sourced food, or the traditional 16th century inn the Three Tuns for a delicious Sunday lunch. If you’ve taken the dog, head for the Rose & Crown – a traditional pub that welcomes four-legged friends and does a great pint of ale to boot.

Get historical at Hay Castle

● Mill Cottage is available to book on cottages.com and prices start at £385 for a three-night stay.

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STENCH OF HORROR

.

It was a dream house, but what went on there was the stuff of nightmares

W

hen the appearing on the floor.

Perron ‘I’ve just cleaned here,’ she family groaned to the kids as she moved into swept it up, suspecting a beautiful them of traipsing in mud.

14-bedroom Carolyn later joked with farmhouse in January 1971, Roger about the house it was like all their dreams being haunted. had come true.

But when she spoke to a A charming building local historian a few weeks in rural later, she was Harrisville, fascinated by Rhode Island, what he told her.

USA, it had been Mr built centuries McKeachern before, in 1736. revealed how a Set in 200 woman called acres of land, the Bathsheba house, known as Sherman had the Old Arnold lived on the Estate to locals, was perfect property in the 1850s, for the large family. with her husband Judson.

Plenty of space for Roger They had four children, and Carolyn Perron and although three of them died their five daughters, very young.

Andrea, Nancy, Christine, And when another Cindy and April. infant reportedly died in Only, days after the family Bathsheba’s care, doctors moved in, Carolyn noticed her broom kept going missing.

It would reappear in places she didn’t remember leaving it.

‘This broom has a mind of its own!’ she complained to Roger.

She’d also hear a strange scraping sound from the kitchen.

Paranormal experts, Then, piles of dirt the Warrens started mysteriously

She awoke to find a tall woman towering over her

54

had made a shocking find.

They’d discovered the baby’s skull had an injury that looked as if it’d been caused by a large needle.

Although Carolyn and Bathsheba Roger Perron was cleared by police of any wrongdoing, locals believed she was a witch. They even out with death claimed she’d sacrificed the and gloom!’ child to the devil.

The woman Carolyn told Roger about disappeared. the story later and they But Carolyn was left so both laughed it off. shaken that Roger began Though they found it to worry about his wife’s creepy, they saw it for what mental health. it was – gossip.

‘Maybe it was a dream?’

Only, the following night, he suggested.

Carolyn awoke suddenly to Yet then more mysterious find what appeared to be a things began to happen. tall woman in an old grey Even Roger couldn’t deny dress towering over something strange was her, with her head going on in their new home. hanging strangely They started hearing to one side. voices throughout the house Carolyn later at all hours of the night, and described her as the furniture would move looking like ‘a sack around on its own. of cobwebs’.

After a few months, As Carolyn lay in Carolyn and Roger were bed, stiff with fear, convinced the house was the woman spoke. possessed by spirits, one of ‘Get out, get which they believed to be out,’ she moaned. the ghost of Bathsheba.

‘Or I’ll drive you And she was the most

The property had a dark history

violent of all of them.

She targeted Carolyn, who would often yelp in pain, claiming she’d just been pinched or slapped by an invisible presence.

Years later, their eldest daughter Andrea revealed how the family started to smell the rancid odour of rotting flesh in the house.

Whenever the electricity or heating failed, which it often did, her dad would go down into the cellar.

He told the family he could feel a ‘cold, stinking presence behind him’.

He’d come back as white as a sheet.

By 1974, the ongoing incidents had taken their

toll on the family, especially on Carolyn.

Only, they didn’t want to leave their home – besides, they couldn’t afford to.

So instead, they called in the help of two paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine Warren. Ed was a demonologist, and Lorraine a clairvoyant and medium.

They’d travelled the country hunting out and getting rid of spirits in people’s homes.

And now, they would move into the farmhouse in order to perform a seance, to communicate with the spirits and drive them out of the house.

Only, during the seance, Carolyn appeared to become

possessed by Bathsheba, causing her to speak in riddles and rise from the ground in her chair.

Andrea later claimed to have secretly witnessed it.

‘I thought I was going to pass out. My mother began to speak a language not of this world, in a voice not her own. Her chair levitated and she was thrown across the room,’ she said.

It lasted several hours and Carolyn’s body convulsed until the evil spirit of Bathsheba left her body.

But the family continued to live in the big, old farmhouse out in the country, sometimes still

They would perform a seance to drive out the spirits

The Perron family in 2013

disturbed by spirits and strange goings on.

In June 1980, after a decade of horrors, the Perrons’ financial situation improved and they were finally able to move.

But afterwards, they discovered that the house had a dark and disturbing past, not just because of the menacing Bathsheba.

According to town records, two people living there had hanged themselves, one had killed themselves by poisoning, and an 11-yearold girl had allegedly been raped and murdered.

In 2013, the haunting and seance at the house became the focus of a frightening Hollywood film, The Conjuring.

It even featured a cameo appearance from Lorraine Warren, who died at the age of 92 in April 2019.

The film terrified audiences, but those still alive who witnessed events in the real house of horrors will surely never forget their shocking experiences.

55

WORDS: FRANCES LEATE. PHOTOS: ALAMY

Their five daughters

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PUZZLE 1

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PUZZLE 11 294

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PUZZLE 12

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COSY THROWS !

On sale 6 Feb

SELFLESS

A letter to...

W

through the checks and interviews, you were our e weren’t first foster child. Your mum expecting had given birth to you just the phone a few days before. call just The doctors thought before that that she must’ve cut the Christmas. umbilical cord herself But you needed us and before she left you on the we were ready. As the social steps of a local church. workers brought you in, we There was no note. took in your rosebud lips The only clue about your and rounded cheeks. mum was the anorak you’d ‘She’s beautiful, Mummy!’ been wrapped in. my daughter Sarah, 13, A child’s size, age 14 cried with excitement. years, it had a handwritten ‘We’ve named her Holly, label: Angela. While the given the time of the year,’ police searched the social worker explained. for your mum, ‘It’s OK, angel. We’ll look it was our job to after you,’ I whispered. keep you safe.

My husband Bill and I had Bill went out signed up to be foster parents to buy formula six months before, in 1978. and nappies, I already had three while I got the children – Sarah, Sophie crib ready. The and Stevie. But I loved kids gave you being a mum and had so teddies and toys. much love to give.

We were all mesmerised After going by your adorable face and big, violet eyes.

On 5 January, social services told us they’d found your mum Angela – she was just 15.

‘So young!’

I gasped.

Angela had kept her pregnancy a To you and your secret, and had

given birth alone, at home in the bath. In time, little one, we were told that your father was Angela’s dad.

He was an angry, evil man who’d raped his daughter.

I was horrified.

‘That poor girl – how could this have happened?’ I cried.

Angela’s dad had been arrested, her mum was nowhere to be found.

‘Angela has nowhere to go,’ a social worker said. ‘Can she stay with you, too?’

How could we say no?

Arriving at our home, Angela was just a child herself. With her wavy, dark hair and violet eyes, she looked so much like you.

Reunited with your mum, you instantly stopped crying.

‘Maria,’ Angela smiled sadly. ‘That’s her name.’

Over the next few weeks, we looked after you together.

Then Angela’s mother resurfaced and wanted to take her daughter.

But she said she couldn’t handle a baby as well. So you

She left you on the steps of a local church

mum Angela...

Your mum was just a child

were put up for adoption.

‘Maybe it’s best they both have a fresh start,’ I told Bill, through tears.

‘Be happy, little one,’ your mum said to you, before she left to go with her own mother.

I sobbed, told Angela that I’d always be there if she wanted to talk.

And, a week later, Maria, you went to live with a lovely family. I cried as I held you for the last time.

In just a few months, you left a huge mark on our hearts.

And though decades have passed, I still think of you and your mum often.

Since then, I’ve fostered more than 100 children.

It’s my passion.

Because, like you, every child deserves to be loved.

Love,Jeanie x Jeanie Doyle, 62, Salford

Wicked Girl

by Jeanie Doyle (£7.99, Mirror Books) is on sale now

ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. WORDS: ANNA MATHESON. PHOTOS (POSED BY MODELS): GETTY, ALAMY

The girls I’ll never for et DearMaria,

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