What do You Feel or Think WHEN YOU HEAR THE PHRASE “MAN UP?” I HAVE LEARNED, THROUGH A SERIES OF MY OWN TRAGIC EVENTS, THAT LIFE CAN BE DIFFICULT By Morgan Berry
I also realized, through my darkest of days, that I was taught that a man does not open up about his emotions. I learned that emotions, other than anger or jealousy, or perhaps just stoism, were not welcomed amongst men. Wasn’t it once said that real men don’t cry?
THAT MUST HAVE BEEN WHAT IT MEANT TO “MAN UP” I bought into that idea until I realized that real men do cry. Real men own their emotions. Real men work through their challenges and problems in a safe environment. Let me start by telling you a bit about me and my story. Perhaps you’ll see a reflection of yourself in my story. Perhaps your story is quite different. What we realize through sharing is that we have more in common and less different. I’m an only child and grew up in a household with alcoholism and abuse. I’ve tried for many years to believe that my childhood was normal. I have guilt when I think of the environment I grew up in and stating it was less than ideal. I find it better to say they tried their best. Truthfully, as I continue to open up about my story and my life, I continue to have
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new memories and pain to travel through. When you’re an only child it's difficult to hide. I remember continually feeling unworthy and to this day I still work through that. Part of this was because of the difficulty to measure up for my father. He challenged me in unhealthy ways. Most of my high school years I was grounded because my marks were never quite good enough. I was challenged as a child when he would slap me as hard as he could to show his friends how tough I was. I was challenged to get his drinks quickly when he clinked his ring on the side of his glass. My mom did her best in a very unhealthy codependent relationship; she just tried to stay out of the way and keep the peace. I don’t blame her for that.
IT IS SAID THAT YOU MARRY SOMEONE LIKE THE PARENT YOU NEED TO RESOLVE THE PAST WITH AND I GUESS I DID THAT I moved out as soon as high school was completed and before long ended up in a relationship. Three weeks together and she was pregnant. Over time we decided it would be best to be married. We traveled through some ups and downs and had some happy and healthy times. We survived twenty years
