Daring Woman Magazine

Daring Woman

magazine

Is Age More of an Issue With Women Compared To Men?

Today is Different Today I have Cancer

Chasing Pavements

Peace THE

WE WANT

why is it so elusive?

The Most Treacherous Road You Will EVER Travel

Self-ishness YOUR NEW DEFAULT SETTING

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Welcome to Daring Woman!

We are excited to share with you our inaugral issue of Daring Woman Magazine.

Our mission is to make a difference in women’s lives by raising awareness, fostering change, and providing women from all over the globe a place to gain confidence, empowerment, and inspiration.

Who is Daring Woman?

We are bold. We are confident.

We are a community of action takers and we are not afraid to step out of our comfort zone. We cheer each other on and lend a hand when someone’s down. We laugh together and cry together. We celebrate what it means to be a woman and our confidence is contagious.

We all have a story to tell. Some are full of love and laughter, while others are sprinkled with fear, trauma, or loss. Our stories can inspire others if we have the courage to share.

Daring Woman is all about courage. We want to help you reclaim your inner fire.

Remember when you were fearless? Remember when you were happy? Those days are possible again. You have the power within you to be that strong, confident, beautiful woman you were born to be.

Be strong. Be Brave.

Be a Daring Woman!

Sincerely,

Geri Westphal Chief Operating Officer Daring Woman, Inc. Ps. Watch for more information about our first annual Women’s Conference, Dare to Dream, coming Fall of 2019.

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In this Issue...

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The Most Treacherous Road You Will Ever Travel The Peace We Want - Why is it So Elusive

is Different, Today I 12 Today Have Cancer

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Chasing Pavements

#ImADaringWoman

- Your New 20 Self-Ishness Default Setting

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Is Age More of an Issue with Women Compared to Men?

#DaringWoman

#DaringWoman

Catch Us on Instagram @ImADaringWoman

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treacherous

The Most Road You Will Ever Travel Tracey Osborne

The road to self-acceptance is not a straight shot. It’s not paved with directional signs. No…this road is one of the most rugged, treacherous roads you’ll ever be on.

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In 2016 my girls and I took a road trip from Georgia to Oregon and back. On our journey, we drove into California. Heading to our campsite for the night, my GPS decided to have some fun with us. It took us on this single lane, dirt road, over a mountain.

It took us 2 hours to drive 15 miles.

The road was windy. There were huge rocks and fallen trees everywhere. The ruts in the road were at least a foot deep in some places. And I had to maneuver through this at a snail’s pace with two young girls to assist me.

And that’s how the road to self-acceptance works. One minute you’re white knuckling it on a mountain road and the next you’re setting up camp and watching the sunset with your amazing kids.

Your journey will always be fraught with rocks, fallen trees, big ditches in the road and black bears. But it’s your job to not let them stop you and to figure out how to maneuver your vehicle around the obstacles.

But the view we saw was breathtaking.

The vast expanse of where forest meets sky, made the dangerous trip well worth it. Oh, and let’s not forget the pièce de résistance. As we are making our way crawling over this mountain, a flash of black comes crashing out of the trees on one side of us and charging down the mountain on the other side.

It took us a moment to realize what that blur actually was. A black bear. Here I am with two young girls, on a mountain road, no cell service, white knuckled and terrified of getting stuck, and nature throws me a black bear.

It. Was. Amazing.

We freaked out with excitement. I think that was seriously the best part of the entire experience aside from spending 2 weeks alone with my babies.

We made it over the mountain, found our campsite and continued to have an incredible vacation.

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The Peace We WantWhy is it So Elusive?

Sue Bryan Like many of us, I want to understand why people get violent, why we can’t just get along. I’ve been working with a model – the Operating System model – that can help us make sense of some of the upheaval and violence we have seen more of in recent times. Because it provides an explanation of why things escalate into violence, the OS model can lead us to specific action that can create more harmony in our lives, and in our own work and personal relationships. We may even be able to have a global impact as we learn to choose our own inner Operating Systems more deliberately.

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Each of us has 3 psycho-spiritual Operating Systems. Admittedly, you could argue with this, and I am not even convinced that this model tells us the whole story about ourselves, but the model really works to help me, and hopefully you, understand some of the troubling dynamics we encounter in our lives. And within the model, we can figure out how to make some of these troubling dynamics better, so we can feel better, and treat the other people in our lives better.

So let’s jump in.

We have 3 Operating Systems and we don’t know it. We run our lives, think our thoughts, and behave from one of the three OSs every moment of our lives, but generally we don’t know where we are coming from at any given moment.

Each OS has its own distinct language, thoughts, feelings and ideas about the world. Each one has particular strengths and particular weaknesses. Each one has its main function and works best when it is pursuing that function.

The 3 OS’s are: the Basic OS, the Success OS, and the Fulfillment OS. These titles are arbitrary; I made them up, but I didn’t make up the concept which has its footing in ancient philosophies of both Egypt and the Pacific Island cultures. The model has much more complexity than I am attempting to describe here but here are the fundamentals.

The Basic OS is mostly made up of instincts,

drives, chemical reactions, and patterns laid down in the subconscious mind. It creates shortcuts and is dedicated to keeping everything the same. It does not have access to higher thinking skills. It follows directions, but does not analyze any instruction it is given. The part of us that is run by the Basic OS is the Reactor.

The Success OS is our intelligence, our thinking mind. It is able to analyze, infer, and create unique and un-patterned responses to what it encounters in the world. It likes to learn and to grow. The part of us that is run by the Success OS is the Observer.

The Fulfillment OS is the highest and best of our humanity. It is peaceful, unconditionally loving, generous, altruistic, and spiritual. It is that part of us that is our connection to something greater than ourselves, call it the Universe, a God, a philosophy, even a cause.

The part of us that is run by the Fulfillment OS is the Essence.

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Most of us, unknowingly, run around our lives bouncing between the Reactor and the Observer, with occasional appearances of the Essence. Some people have great difficulty ever stepping out of the Reactor. This happens because to the Reactor, anything that seems even remotely new or different is seen as a threat, and it exerts its considerable power to prevent us from risking anything new or original.

The Reactor is our automatic response to stress – real or perceived. When the Reactor is faced with a situation or condition in the world it sifts through its catalog of the past and finds a way to react that seems like has worked in the past and it puts that train of thought, emotion and behavior into action.

It is aided by the adrenaline that is released in stress conditions which diverts blood and oxygen from the higher thinking centers of the brain.

something wrong with her if she needs to borrow money. These thoughts (and notably not the condition of short funds itself) put her in a fight/flight/freeze reactive state.

The stress of facing times like these, when cash flow is short, has so frightened her that she avoids picking up her mail for fear that there will be some demand for payment that she cannot meet. This is true even when the cash flow in her business is fine.

She hates getting the mail and puts it off – she conveniently forgets – sometimes for weeks. This, patterned, reactive behavior of avoidance has caused her some problems: not receiving word of orders, or allowing bills she could have paid to get delinquent.

P was mostly unaware of the pattern she was playing out. She knew that getting the mail felt uncomfortable, but avoiding the issue seemed natural and allayed her anxiety. So she had never looked at the pattern, nor dealt with the feelings or beliefs around it until we worked together.

Many times our reactions are less dramatic than P’s, and are reactions to what seem to be much less stressful events. But this same dynamic plays out even in our normal conversations. Have you ever wondered why you and a loved one seem to have the same argument or discussion over and over? Are there people you avoid calling because you just know how the conversation is going to go before it starts? Are there family members who just always make you so mad that you don’t want to attend events where you know they will be? Does your boss, or your motherin-law, your teenager, your child’s teacher… just rub you the wrong way? If so, then you are Reacting to some stimulus that lands you in a patterned, reaction.

An example of this is a client of mine, P, who grew up in a household that valued hard work and achievement, and who never felt that she measured up as a student, or in doing her chores, or anywhere in life. As an adult P owns her own business. She has struggled at times to pay the bills and every time she experiences this type of challenge, she judges herself extremely harshly. If she only worked harder, she would not be in this tight space. There must be something wrong with her if her business can’t always generate The Basic OS is geared towards survival. the cash flow she needs. There must be

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It does this very well by alerting us to potential and actual dangers and by instigating patterns that have saved in in the past.

The Observer, on the other hand, the operator of the Success OS, has access to all the accumulated wisdom of the Basic OS, but also has access to the higher thinking centers. It can analyze and choose thoughts, emotions, and actions that will serve its meeting its needs. This is where we hold our values, though in a disagreement about values it can hold onto a neutral stance. It can usually see both sides of an argument or discord. It can allow others the space to express themselves and it can learn powerful communication skills. It can learn to be assertive and loving. It is curious and can listen. The Observer is geared towards Success. It can plan and strategize. It can use resources to meet its needs.

The Observer is you when you are wellfed, well-exercised and well-rested and not experiencing stress.

intuition, wisdom and altruism.

You may be able to see that most of us stumble along moving fluidly from one Operating System to another without awareness. I remember, when my children were little, how quickly things could go from all of us having a jolly time, to a meltdown.

I have also had times in my life when I just couldn’t elevate myself out of resentment – even though I KNEW I was reacting. I’m sure you have your own stories.

The Basic OS’s job is to keep us alive and to make it possible to perform repetitive tasks without going through a learning process every time. The Success OS’s job is to implement strategies that will bring us successes, small ones like reading a book, and large ones like building a financial empire and legacy. The Fulfillment OS’s job is to lead us to social, emotional and spiritual fulfillment, to bring meaning to our lives.

You can see that it is not in the nature of the Basic OS to care about our values, to connect with others or to see outside of itself to a greater meaning and purpose of The Essence has access to both the life. And it is not in the nature of the Success accumulated wisdom of the Reactor, and OS to either keep us safe in authentically the critical thinking skills and neutrality of dangerous situations (like a near miss in the the Observer and also to a much broader car) or to perform tasks, like brushing our perspective. It can put all of our life events teeth or beating our hearts, that don’t require into a greater context. It has a sense of analysis. It doesn’t have much patience for meaning and purpose that is connected to the tasks of the Fulfillment OS either; its a greater good. It can forgive, and it can feel goal is success, not greater meaning. And love even when others don’t measure up the Fulfillment OS doesn’t judge, so the to its values. It can connect on a deep level needs and values that are so important to both with other beings and with an energetic our Reactor and Observer, don’t inspire the or spiritual community. It is the source of Essence to action.

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We need all three. But when we are trying to reconcile differences with others we must be able to discern at the very least, when we are in our Reactor, and when we are in our Observer.

If so, and if possible, walk away as gracefully as possible. Breathe deeply. Jog in place to process the adrenaline. Learn to recognize when the Reactor calms down and the signs that the Observer can be accessed again.

There are a couple of additional things that Secondly – and only if you are very good at are very important to know about the Reactor recognizing your Reactor and being able in each of us. to tell the difference between how your Reactor thinks and talks and how your One Reactor very easily triggers Reactors in Observer thinks and talks – use proven deeveryone around. Grumpiness, resentment, escalation techniques with the Reactor you fear, anxiety, etc. are very contagious. are encountering. Breathe deeply. Ground The Reactor does not like to be called out, yourself. Get curious and try to understand dismissed, patronized, or accused. These the needs behind the behavior. Don’t believe only make the Reactor more reactive as it anything the Reactor says; its intelligence is scrambles for some dignity and sense of not being accessed, and it cannot articulate. importance.

Check your perceptions by asking if you The Reactor is not interested in understand correctly. Speak slowly and communicating or connecting with others. calmly. Make eye contact. Take your time.

It is in life saving mode. The only reason a Stop trying to make this Reactor understand Reactor speaks is to get its needs met or to your point; it cannot. vent its emotion.

For these reasons, it is pointless to try to Teach this model to your children, your communicate to a Reactor, or from our own employees, your local police department, Basic OS. It can’t be done. Yet we try all the your co-workers, and your spouse. That way, time. even if you get caught up in a Reactor v.

Reactor encounter, you can talk about how And more and more often, we are seeing it happened afterwards, and learn from the these futile attempts to communicate ending experience. Over time you will have more in violence. You might recognize the problem successful and fulfilling encounters with of a police officer trying to talk to someone, others. both parties soaked in adrenaline, both Reacting from their Basic OSs. And the world just might become a more peaceful place.

If one cannot communicate with a Reactor, what could we be doing instead?

P.S. P, after lots of deep self-reflection, was able to identify and befriend that fearful First and foremost, and I cannot emphasize aspect of herself. She continues to work daily this enough, we have to discern whether the on her relationship with it and other limiting Reactor we encounter has triggered our own aspects of her Basic OS. Last I heard, she was Basic OS. Are we in fight/flight right now? Are thriving in her successful business and in a we thinking repetitive thoughts, feeling strong new relationship emotion, feeling our heart race, our mouth Originally Published on LinkedIn get dry?

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Get resources and support from women who know exactly what you’re going through!

You are a WARRIOR, but you don’t have to do it alone!

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Today Today is different

I have Cancer Geri Westphal

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It’s just not any other Wednesday. Today is different.

Today I have cancer.

I remember waking up on the first day of my cancer diagnosis thinking “how could everything just go on as usual? Didn’t you hear the news….I have cancer… that’s a big deal.” Things shouldn’t just be exactly like they were yesterday. It’s different now. Now, I have cancer.

I wanted to scream it to every person who looked at me wrong or treated me rudely “Be nice. I have cancer.”

But, obviously, that’s not how things were.

The world kept turning, the phones kept ringing, and the deadlines were still the deadlines.

I would spend two weeks in a farmhouse in Tuscany and then move to a loft apartment in the center of Florence for the remaining two weeks. It sounded like heaven.

I had never done such a thing. I had never traveled that far for that long all alone. I had never rented a car in a foreign country before. Hell, I had never driven a car in a foreign country before!

I was apprehensive, but after enduring all that cancer forced upon me, I was ready for a radical “balls-to-the-wall” reward. No sense holding back.

I was going to Italy, come hell or high water!

The Time Came I was packed and ready to go. Let’s do this!

I was different, but the world wasn’t and I had to find a way to pull myself through The trip was incredible! this journey because the world was just way too busy.

It was scary at times, but each step I conquered on my own brought me more and I had to do it alone. more inner strength.

It Was Terrifying

I was getting my strength back and it felt so empowering.

As I began my cancer journey, I knew very early in the process that I needed a reward so that I had something exciting and positive to look forward to after I struggled long and hard to get through the various steps of beating cancer.

My first goal after landing in Florence was to rent a car and find “my” farmhouse. I was without the aid of technology, which thankfully, I had anticipated and had brought along printed directions from Google Maps.

The good news was that I felt safe having As part of a personal gift to myself, and as my a map. The bad news was the map wasn’t official “finish line”, I booked a one month solo worth the paper it was printed on! trip to Italy.

In the hills of Italy there are NO ROAD signs!!

I booked it before I started any of the cancer crap.

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It was late afternoon, around 5 pm and I knew it was going to get dark soon. I had no cell phone (because international cell coverage sucks in the Tuscan hillside), no reliable map and I was alone.

I made it down one aisle before a sweet Italian shopkeeper began speaking to me in Italian. I froze.

“Stay calm”, I told myself.

You can do this.

I understood everything she was saying to me and now it was my turn to respond. Ahhh.. All I could do was speak Spanish!!!

I couldn’t find the right Italian words…only Spanish!

Damn it.

What’s the problem with that?? Haha.

When I was learning Italian, an easy way for me to remember the words was to first remember the Spanish word. It seemed to make sense when I was studying, but clearly, my study method failed me.

If my Mom knew the situation I was in, she’d scold me for taking such a chance! I drove around the area until I finally figured out that I couldn’t remember a single word of Italian I should give that one no-named windy road I walked out of the store so mad at myself. I had that I drove by 3-4 times a try.

That must be it.

Yes, it worked, I found it!

There before was my beautiful Tuscan farmhouse. I felt a huge sense of relief.

Whew, I had made my way to Italy. Alone.

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practiced this stuff. I knew those words. I was determined to go back to the same store again tomorrow (and every other day thereafter, if necessary) until I got it right.

I was going to speak Italian!

The next day I returned to the store armed and ready to go. Same process, same little Italian shopkeeper and BHAM…. I did it.

After dropping my bags at the house, I headed down the little country road to the grocery store. With great confidence, I walked through the door ready to begin my Italian adventure.

I spoke to her in Italian and she actually understood me! Yipee!

I had practiced Italian for months and I was ready to go!

I was ready for another day!

I felt so proud of myself for sticking with it. I felt another boost of confidence that I so badly needed.

On one particular morning, I was sitting at the I had survived. farm table, sipping the most delicious Italian espresso I had ever tasted, as I had done I experienced a profound sense of pride and every morning since I arrived. relief. It was really over. I had crossed the finish line!

This day was different.

Cancer taught me to fight. It taught me that it On this particular morning I had just is OK to standalone, or reach out and lean on finished editing my book, Beautiful Lady that others. chronicled my journey through the hell of cancer.

My sole trip to Italy taught me to trust myself again. I am strong. I am smart. I can do this.

As I closed my laptop with tears streaming down my face, I felt I had My Beautiful Lady, you can do it too. You can finally crossed the finish line. survive. No matter the challenge, no matter the size of the monster. You are stronger, I had successfully endured months of physical smarter and more stubborn than you think and emotional pain. I had persevered and you are. fought all the demons.

You can do it.

I had poured my heart out in a book that was my rebirth, my reawakening.

That’s how we roll, my Beautiful Lady. We survive!

I had learned to more appropriately identify what was important in my life and what wasn’t. I did it.

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CHASING pavements

n

Just A Girl Today has been hard.

me and he’s breaking my heart. Because this guy is going to die if he carries on like this.

I’ve been on a training course. A few hundred yards from my ex boyfriends house. We I’ll give him six months – A year at the most broke up recently…needless to say I struggled which is absolutely tragic… to concentrate. All I could think of was him.

HE’S ONLY THIRTY-THREE. The course was centered around addiction.

My ex-boyfriend is an alcoholic. I was one too I stayed in a B&B last night. On my own. back in the day. Until I went into detox and Instead of staying with him. Because I made re-wired my brain… I’m tee-total now. that mistake last time and it didn’t work out too well. He massively overstepped the mark He was too, when we met – at least that’s and did something terrible. Because he was what I thought. It’s what he told me when we drunk. got together anyway, otherwise I would never have gone there. Looking back though, now ‘Shitfaced’ actually.

I’m not so sure. Maybe he just hid it better than he’s able to these days…because right Anyway it was a huge mistake. I knew straight now he’s currently drinking his own bodyaway. I should never have gone there in the weight in vodka. He’s disappearing in front of first place… And these days I learn from my

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mistakes. Not always immediately granted… but at some point the penny always drops and I start to see sense…hence the B&B. Which was fab by the way. I loved it – It felt like I was home.

Which it will be one day.

Because this is where I’m headed when I’m well.

Just not with him this time.

If things were different I’d be with him now. In his flat that I fell in love with, with this guy I fell in love with…

But things aren’t different. Because he’s a raging alcoholic. And my heart has been broken far too many times by this man. So this time, tonight when I walked past his house, I resisted the urge to phone him.

Ring his doorbell. Try and ‘make him better’.

This time I did what’s actually right for me for once. And kept on walking….

I took myself out to a restaurant. Then I went to a bar. The same one I’ve started to go to when I run to this town. Because I love it here. I feel safe and confident and alive in this town. I’ve already started to make friends.

Like the guy who works in the photo shop.

The one I take my features to, to get them printed so that they can hang on my walls.

And the guy behind the bar in The Dolphin… and the people I’ve met in there.

I’m in a town that I adore. That calls to me.

Every single time I come here I know I’m coming home. I’m absolutely head over heels for this place. It fits me perfectly.

So having to leave it behind, get back on a train and go live in a field again unsettles me.

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I feel scattered and torn. Upset and anxious. Because the pull of this town is huge. And I’m going to live here.

I can’t keep on doing this…being pulled in two directions. It’s bad for my head…

Just not right now.

If I had a magic wand I would wave it right now – Transport myself and my meagre belongings here. To this town. Here where I fit. Where I’m happy. Where my life is full of possibilities.

But that means facing some demons first.

And cleaning out my closet. Making a totally fresh start…and I’m completely not ready for that yet.

Right now I need to do what I’m doing.

Which is this…

Wake up and go to work. Come home and write. Catch up with friends on twitter. Post my blogs. Repeat as necessary.

Until I finish my book.

When I’m not working, I’ll jump on a train to I’m scared of the implications. It’s a lot of this town. Get my little seaside fix. Say hi to pressure. I’m worried that it might tip me over my new friends. Remind myself that one day I the edge. I’ve only been living something even will live here. In a new home. vaguely resembling normal now for eight months. I walked out of rehab twelve months That’s just for me and Magic…my cat. ago. I need to remember that.

And then I’m not moving again. This is the last And so I’ll tread carefully. time…

I can save where I am. My expenses are tiny.

So I need to be patient and play the long game, instead of rushing into something that I’m completely not ready for. Be sensible and strategic for the first time in my life.

Because I’m done with unstable and I’m done with the rug being pulled from under me.

Which is completely fucking alien to me right now.

That no-one can take from me this time.

BUT I WON’T ALWAYS FEEL THIS WAY.

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So I’m going there with money in my pocket.

Just me, my writing my cat and a plan.

I’m counting the days…

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Selfishness

YOUR NEW DEFAULT SETTING Vicki O’Connor

Selfish.

It used to be such a bad word. How dare you put your needs, wants and desires above your duties as a wife, mother, daughter, friend, worker etc. How dare you think you can value yourself as a unique, individual, autonomous person. How dare you fill your self up with your bliss and be derelict in your duties to the home or any other frigging thing WE can think of that you MUST do before YOU can even think about doing what you want to do. Anyway, yours are just frivolous, meaningless activities that don’t amount to anything useful to anyone else. What are you thinking?

Sound familiar? Coming from those around you or directly from inside your own head?

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We have been conditioned as women for so long to feel bad if we even dare to think about doing something we love or that fills us up with sheer delight. We have had it indoctrinated for centuries that our duties are to hearth and home and all those who grace it with their presence; to cater to everyone else and you should damn well enjoy it too. It should fill you with pride to see how you have absolutely negated yourself all these years making others more important than your wee self. Don’t even begin to entertain any thoughts that you may have anything of worth to contribute. We have been taught and conditioned that every one else’s needs come before our own.

Have you watched, with disbelief and sadness, the souldestroying life your mother has led catering to the whole wide world (and doing a fabulous job of it) but never or rarely taking the time to tend to her own valuable and worthy needs? Always being there for everybody else and never even contemplating the concept that SHE may be of enough worth to fill her own cup with her life force of choice?

Have you watched this play out in your own life and that of most of the women around you?

The time has come to embrace this much maligned word. Not only embrace it but live it. Live it with your whole heart and soul. Find you bliss and do it with as much gusto as you possibly can. Find your life source and plug

in as often as you possibly can. Light yourself up with something you love to do EVERY DAY. Sneak it in where ever and whenever you can or make an announcement that it is simply happening anyway. Make a choice to put yourself first. It’s like the safety announcement on a plane. They say to put your oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else. It’s the same with your life.

You can’t help others if you are running on low (life force) oxygen.

Everyone has responsibilities. Some imposed by society and its expectations, some imposed by others and many more self imposed. Of course when there are the responsibilities to little people who you brought into this world you simply cannot disregard them. You can though, ask for help from others to give you some SELFISH time. You can relinquish the need to be everything to everybody all the time and you can make the choice to honour yourself by filling YOUR cup. You can and should make time for your SELF-ISH pursuits.

Let’s redefine the word to mean -ABOUT THE SELF. Doesn’t sound so bad this way does it.

“I’m going to be ABOUT THE SELF more from now on.”

Try this: Hey everybody! (insert names of all the people and places who lay claim to you). Look over here. Look at me becoming a happy,

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fulfilled and joyful person because I am doing what truly lights me up and fills every fibre of my being. Check me out honouring MYSELF and doing what I really love to do because it makes me feel so good. Check me out filling my vessel with MY life source so that when I come back over there I will be so full-to-overflowing with the joy vibration I will be able to spill it over to any and everyone who comes near me. I will be so much happier I can tend to the things I need to do to keep humans alive, work and home ticking along and contribute to my relationships from a place of abundance and joy instead of a soul-sucking place of lack and resentment.

I now realise that I need to be SELF-ISH as much as I need oxygen to breathe. I need to fill myself up first. It is my duty to myself to honour my needs. I now know that by raising my vibration in this ongoing and sustainable way, the flow on (or out) contributes to all those around me and flows into the collective vibration of humanity.

By raising myself up I help raise humanity.

In fact, by being SELF-ISH, I am actually doing humanity a huge favour.

Take it or leave it world.

SELF-ISHNESS is now my new default setting.

This is the new me.

I think you’re gunna like her.

I know I do.

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Is Age More of an Issue for

Women Compared to MEN ?

Luisa Kearney

Not every young business owner wants to be an on-trend, social media star. On the one hand, I’ve been a business owner for ten years now. That’s a long time to be solely responsible for your life, income and future. Yet it has taken me this long to feel comfortable about talking about age. The dreaded “A” word that bothers many women! As if asking a woman her age wasn’t bad enough, the media and other factors make us feel that we’re either too old or too young. Business is no different. At what age are we considered “just right?”

I was talking to a business colleague the other day about the different stereotypical reputations of business women of varying ages. Many women feel that age is always the issue, but I disagree. I think it can be difficult for female business owners to work out where they belong in the business world at certain times in their lives. There are more “categories” for women in business compared to men. I was just 16 years old when I started out in business. I feel now more than ever that the difficult thing for some women starting up their own businesses is knowing where they belong. Not just in terms of finding clients, but with finding business colleagues and people with whom they can network too. There’s the “mum business owners”, the “teenagers who master social media”, the “over 40s”, the “corporate-turned-creatives”, and “the millennials: the human dictionaries of ontrend terms and fashionable phrases.” This is fantastic for those who fit into one or more of these categories, but not everybody does. Not every woman over 40 has children. Not every

20-something idolizes reality TV stars and wants to be a social media sensation.

I feel that it is definitely time to start forgetting about categories and especially age. Instead, start focusing on purpose prosperity and personal branding. As much as we’d like to believe in the comforting thought that the answers will come with age – they don’t. Age is infinite, success and intelligence are not! This is why we must shift our focus from age to value. What are we bringing to the table? How are we bettering ourselves and others? What must we do to get ourselves from this stage in life to the next? We’re going to get older. Time is going to pass. Time is not going to stop moving. So how are we going to spend life’s most expensive currency? The word my business was built around is “style”. This is my focus word for this year more than ever before. Personal style can take us above and beyond life as we know it. You can become the master of wonderful things when you exercise your personal style that is only unique to you. For it is with style that all truly amazing things are created! Your personal best is the new luxury and the level of success to which you should aspire.

My message to you is that if you are looking for criticism or a reason not to do something, you will find it. What I’d advise you to do is to look at what you can do better than anybody else and play to your strengths. You’re never too young or too old to try new things or to set up a new business.

The only negative factor to starting a new venture later rather than now is that you’ll wish you had started sooner!

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