ANTI-BULLYING STRATEGIES
How to Talk to Your Child About Bullying By Brett J. Novick, MS, LMFT, CSSW
“H
ey, fat boy!” Those words resonate with a sickening echo over the backdrop of my pleasant middle school memories. Many of us can recall the shadow of our bullies in the existence of our academic experiences, and these never fade entirely with time. In recent years, with the increase of school violence and youth suicide, schools have turned an important eye towards the harmful effects of bullying. Bullying can no longer be the “rite of passage” that was an informal initiation to the full educational experience. Talking to our children about bullying early is vital to preserve their school experience, maintain their mental health, and enhance their self-esteem. The following are some thoughts to help along that road:
1
TALK CALMLY AND WITHOUT EXCESSIVE EMOTIONS
Children associate emotional parents with upset parents and think they have done something wrong. As a result, they will close down and not share further information on bullying for fear of upsetting their parents.
2
ADDRESS THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN TATTLING ON A PEER AND TELLING
Bullying is often preserved under a veil of secrecy and fear that tattling will lead to peer ridicule. It is important to distinguish that bullying is a responsibility that must be deferred to adults to address immediately and always.
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3
IF IT IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT PROBABLY IS
4
USE APPS TO MONITOR MOBILE COMMUNICATION
5
DISCUSS DIGITAL CITIZENSHIP AND SAFETY
Bullies often use targets as messengers for those actions they do not want to carry out themselves directly. Therefore, encourage your children not to carry verbal messages from other peers.
The majority of bullying now takes place via the internet on mobile devices. For a nominal fee, you can track texts and social media interactions if needed. Additionally, software filters can avoid potential sites of cyberbullying.
We all try to teach our children a basic level of street smarts and the dangers of the world around them. It is important to have a list of rules for digital citizenship usage in your family and that the use of technology is a privilege, not a right.
6
TEACH ASSERTIVENESS
Our children all span a range between passive to aggressive. The vast majority of our children fall in the middle or to-
