Gò0dNews for Rejection
Place of Belonging
S
by Sheneka Land
he sat in her seat watching the female church members
our search for life-giving environments and relationships.
gathered in the aisle, full of laughter and enjoying
Others struggle with the same rejections and insecurities
camaraderie. She was new, hurting, and in need
that we wrestle with. Sadly, competition, jealousy, and
of healing from deep wounds. She remembered the joys
aloofness are often the by-products of our fear, lack of
of belonging to a community of believers, but things had
confidence, and self-doubt.
unexpectedly changed, leaving her displaced and isolated. She
Nevertheless, there is good news in the midst of
longed to be known and needed in a church community again.
personal pain. Negative experiences that pierce our hearts
She saw the women disperse. One of them was about
can actually prepare and equip us to affirm and empower
to walk past her, so she began to smile, hoping to make a
others who need healthy community. Instead of becoming
connection. The woman gave her a quick side glance and
bitter and fearful, we can become better and fulfilled as we
upon their brief eye contact quickly looked away. Burning
make ourselves available to others. This means we should
tears stung her eyes, and she struggled to hold them back. Her throat knotted as she felt the stab of rejection. “It’s okay,” she told herself. “I’ll try again later.” Another week passed. She followed the advice of her mentor and counselor: “Identify yourself. Tell them ways in which you would like to serve and be a part of their community. Stick your neck out.” She took the risk. It did not work. No matter how hard she tried, the lack of response seemed to send clear messages: We do not want anyone new. We do not care to know you because we are satisfied with our clique as it is. We would rather you just move on. You do not fit in here. Now, on top of feeling rejected, she felt stupid and embarrassed by her attempts to become known. Rejection always feels so personal, doesn’t it? Once it gains a foothold in our lives, it can breed discouragement,
no longer sit and long for an invitation to another table. We
depression, and detachment. Taking the risk to find
can become intentional and create a table ourselves that will
healthy community seems impossible when we have been
provide much-needed community, while inviting others in
disappointed by people that we trusted to embrace, empower
to take a seat alongside us.
and lead us. Further, we are tempted to become victim to
For those of us who are blessed with a loving tribe that
lies: You will never belong at the table again. No one cares about
welcomes us to sit among them, may we never forget that in
your qualifications, giftings, or passions. Just go home and forget
the family of God, there is always room for one more. Make
about community. We begin to feel that we are the exception to
eye contact, smile big, and get to know the newcomer who
participating in and enjoying life with God and His family.
honors your tribe with their presence. Scoot over and grab
So, what do we do when we feel stricken by rejection?
another chair. That “one more” may be the perfect addition
We get up, dust ourselves off and risk vulnerability again,
your tribe needs.
knowing that we may walk into another zone of rejection love and purpose. Once we recognize the reality of human fallibility, the better off we will be as we move forward in
34 // August 2021
About The Author
before we find that sweet space at the table where we find
Sheneka Land is an ordained minister and a graduate of the Pentecostal Theological Seminary. She enjoys speaking and writing and is co-author of From Rejection to Validation (pathwaybookstore.com). Sheneka pursues opportunities in care ministry where she can spread the news of hope and transformation to the suffering. She is mother to four sons whom she homeschooled for twenty-four years. She and her husband, Jon, currently reside in Cleveland, Tennessee. www.thethreadsofgrace.com
