{ HOPING & COPING }
RECOGNIZE, RESPECT, RELEASE BY MELINDA FINN
In all my years of dealing with cancer, both within my own body and with others suffering from it, I developed a system to cope with it that has proved to be alarmingly effective. There is so much that goes on in the mind of a cancer patient. The whole world loses its shape. It’s incredibly overwhelming. The patient is t the only one suffering however. The caregivers are also. Getting a cancer diagnosis forces the question of mortality. A question nobody enjoys confronting. That’s how I can up with the three r’s as a way to carry people through the troubled waters. The first one is recognize. You have to recognize the emotions you are feeling and not deny them. It’s easy to deny emotions it see them as negative. Or even deny a situation because it’s too overwhelming. But denying those feelings can only make things worse as they will linger until you can’t ignore them. I really wouldn’t recommend that. There’s too much to deal with for that to happen. So instead of ignoring how you feel, own it. Say it out loud. If you’re feeling angry or anxious or sad or scared - whatever it may be. Declare it! You will be surprised at how liberating that is. Just saying it out loud, whether it’s to yourself or to others, is a giant relief. A relief you need and deserve. Which leads to the second step, respect. Although these feelings are considered negative, they’re really not unless you 350
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hang onto them. That’s why need to respect them for what they are. These are not just emotions or reactions, they’re instincts. They’re meant to be temporary. They are there to put you on high alert! Warnings to get you to be aware and pay attention. Respect that. We, as humans, have a built in alarm
busy people with a plethora of patients. Sometimes they slip. That’s not that their fault, they’re human. It is up to you to make sure you’re being heard.
system. So be aware! Pay attention! Do some research on whatever you’ve been told. Talk to cancer agencies or other friends or family members. Advocate for yourself. You know your own body better than any physician because you’re the only one living in it. If you think your doctor is missing something, demand attention to it. Doctors are incredibly
The unofficial fourth “r” is repeat. This may not be the only scary, shocking thing you hear on your journey. Repeat the three “r’s”! It’s remarkably liberating! You have so much to live for. It’s worth fighting for, trust me. Trust you!
Perhaps the most difficult “r” is release. Sounds easier than it may be. Because these emotions are temporary, you need to let them go. If you hang on to them, just like a delicious fruit, it will become rotten. Try to imagine a rotten fruit. What do you think would happen if you ate it and put inside of your body? Your body now needs your full on attention. Positive energy will help you get ready for battle and armor you to fight the enemy - cancer. People have different ways of releasing these feelings. Find yours. For me, it’s writing in my journal. For others it’s some kind of physical exercise. Some watch a sad movie and cry it out. Others watch a funny movie and laugh it out. Whatever you need to do - do it! Cancer is one thing that’s going on your life. You are made up of many, many things. Don’t let this disease own you or it will.
