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GUIDE TO LIVING “WHOLE-ISTICALLY” BY KELLI LAPAGE
This month marks 13 years since I started my entrepreneurial journey with WellTrail, Inc. The previous 15 years saw me embark on several career journeys including where it all started- in the athletic training rooms at Washington University (St Louis) and Syracuse University. I remember my first days, nervous and unsure, but also filled with excitement and anticipation of what would lie ahead… the growth, the learning, the relationships that would be built along the way. But I know starting off as a fresh eyed newbie, I was not thinking about what struggles might lie ahead. And perhaps that is the good part about being young and optimistic, and certain that the world is always good and fair and just. Because you just take the leap. You trust yourself - you still trust those around you - and you believe in dreams. Fast forward to my first career shift. Leaving my chosen path as an athletic trainer at a prestigious university where I was surrounded with world class practitioners and athletes, and colleagues, remains the hardest decision I have ever faced. It was the right decision. I was the single mother of a new baby, and I simply could not justify the long hours and amount of time travelling that I would need to be away from my baby girl. I knew my life had gained something far more important than my career dreams - for now I held the ability to support another life through their journey. By this time, I understood the power that decision would have over the trajectory for the rest of my life- although I was unclear what that 418
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE : AUGUST EDITION 2021
trajectory would be. But I stepped into the world of corporate health and wellness still fresh eyed and excited, but this time with the added weight of knowing that my decisions and their consequences, and my success or failure, were no longer mine alone. And with that realization, for the first time in my life, came doubt and hesitation. This was new to me, I had always had the confidence to try new things, to take calculated risks and
to reach for the stars- but with a child at home dependent on my outcomes and no other fall back, I started to second guess myself. I worked harder than anyone else, took multiple classes and certifications while working 70-hour work weeks and being on the road 60K+ miles a year. I hired a nanny so I could be mom 100% and employee 100%, but I forgot to be ME 100%. At age 35 I was moving up the corporate ladder raising an outstanding young human and coaching soccer and still
being athletic trainer for a local collegiate program- and I was happy (I thought). But I was tired. I was sleeping 3 hours a night and I felt like I couldn’t stop because if I did, all the balls I had in the air would drop- and I couldn’t bear the thought of letting the people around me down, most of all my daughter. So, I kept pushing. I kept doing more. And I kept getting further and further from myself, until finally fate stepped in front of me- with a roadblock I had not anticipated. One day I was superwoman- and the next day I could barely walk. I couldn’t pick up my daughter, I couldn’t sit for more than 5 minutes at a time. I couldn’t do all the things I needed to do. At first it just seemed like another challenge I had to overcome, but this was different. While I kept moving forward and somehow found ways to still perform at the level I was accustomed too - my body simply kept getting in the way. I had to change my travel frequency, I had to find accommodations so I could be functional all day until I would go home and lie down in bed unable to move until I took 1600mg of ibuprofen in the morning and forced myself back up. And I thought this was normal. I thought this was being strong. Until the day my daughter told me she was scared every time I was out of her site that I was going to get hurt again - or worse- that I would not be able to come home. And that was when I took a step back. And when I did, what I saw altered me for life. For I saw that as I was pushing myself to every limit, to be everything to everybody, I had actually
