Feb/March 2013 On the Minds of Moms

Page 32

www.onthemindsofmoms.com resource for today’s parent the valley’s modern february ∙ march twenty thirteen
Moorhead 101 11th Street S 218-236-6333 Northport 2510 Broadway 701-293-5444 Village West 4101 13th Avenue S 701-282-6363 Express 1433 University Drive 701-237-9481 Southgate 1532 32nd Avenue S 701-280-1999 Osgood 4151 45th Street S 701-281-8111
64 46 38 contents contributors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 otmom list 10 event calendar 32 shutter bug 42 down the aisle 62 sally says 80 in every issue

Yes,

They say good parents don’t compare their children with others, but it’s important to compare their progress with approved medical standards of healthy growth, both physically and mentally. Early screening can have a big impact on your child’s future.

you compare your child to
Q. Should
others? A.
if you suspect any developmental issues from birth to 3 years old.
Infant Development and Screening Program 3060 Frontier Way S • Fargo • 701-364-3945 Please visit us at EIPFreeScreening.org for our online screening.
contents shop talk carpet mill club—what makes a great floor 16 crystal ennen—getting in touch with baby 20 gettin' through it the juvenile justice system 22 what’s on your mind? dear mom 28 body + being guilt-free family feeding 50 did you know worth the race 54 just a thought speed bumps 58 ready, set, grow on the fast track 72 sections
contents 12 mod mom profile marcie vesey 12 mompreneur darla julin—fantasies in frosting 38 rad dad profile ross almlie 46 cover story kathy freier—giving heart, nurturing soul 64 feature & profiles

on the minds of moms

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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT

On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bi-monthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family.

On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision.

OTMOM is a FREE publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbachers, Sunmart and Grand Forks – East Grand Forks Hugos grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved.

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may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. On The Minds Of Moms is a trademark registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Find Us On Facebook On The Minds Of Moms Follow Us On Twitter On Sally’s Mind Teaching young minds, preparing young hearts. 701-356-5262 • www.sotvlittlelambs.org 121 Sheyenne Street • West Fargo, ND We offer classes to pre-kindergarten students ages three to five years old. Please see our website or call for additional session information. No lasers or pain. Spot-specic wraps to tighten, tone & rm in the privacy of your home in just 45 minutes + other premier products! Call Amanda • 701.371.8369 • WildWiseWell.com No more mom jeans! SFI-00574
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erica lemna grand forks | nd

Currently a senior at the University of North Dakota where she will graduate with her Bachelors of Science in Nursing, Erica works in the Family Birthing Center at Altru Hospital in Grand Forks. Following graduation, her plan is to work at Sanford Health in the Family Birthing Unit. When Erica is not studying or working, she enjoys spending time with her family and friends, snowboarding, and volunteering with The ALS Association. Recently, Erica handed over her title as Miss North Dakota International 2012 where she represented the state throughout 2012.

jade rosenfeldt

moorhead | mn

Jade works as an attorney with the Vogel Law Firm in Moorhead, MN. She concentrates her practice on criminal defense, environmental matters and civil litigation, including water law litigation and real estate. Jade graduated from Concordia College with degrees in Sociology and Social Work. She then graduated, with distinction, from the University of North Dakota School of Law. A native of Moorhead, Jade lives in Moorhead with her husband Steve and their child, Weston [2]. Jade enjoys spending time at the lake and is an avid runner in local race events.

deb uglem

moorhead | mn

Raised in Finley, ND, Deb has called Moorhead her home for the last 11 years. A graduate from Drake University in Des Moines, IA with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications, she is currently Communication Director for Wanzek Construction. Deb welcomes the pleasant distraction that writing brings and thanks her children Jake [19], Tony [18], Nick [18] and Emily [15] for inspiration. Deb and her husband Tim like to spend their free time running in several directions with kids and on the golf course.

patricia carlson

What do you get when you mix a full-time, freelance writer with a 1-year-old girl, two cats, a dog, a husband who works evenings, a house that needs picking up and nearly a dozen publications and clients who need their deadlines met? Welcome to Patricia Carlson’s life. She is an award-winning journalist whose work spans magazines, television, radio, newspapers and the internet. She has produced, written, edited and directed programs for ESPN Radio, History Channel and Hallmark Channel. And she hosts customized media training workshops for groups like the North Dakota National Guard. You can view her work at www.patriciacarlsonfreelance.com

katie lukens pinke

wishek | nd

Katie is the mom to Hunter [15], Elizabeth [5] and Anika [3 ½] and wife to Nathan. Together they live 97 miles from a Starbuck's on the remote prairie of south central North Dakota where they moved to in 2007 from Fargo. Katie is a lifelong North Dakotan, raised in Grand Forks and near a small town, Aneta, where she is the first of the fifth generation to have lived and worked on her family's farm. Katie works for the North Dakota Department of Agriculture as the Marketing and Information Division Director and now commutes 98 miles to her office, passing Starbuck's along the way. Katie shares her passions for family, farming, food and the chaos of being a working mom on the rural prairie on her blog www.thepinkepost.com.

cystal irene ennen

fargo | nd

Crystal is an Early Interventionist with Anne Carlsen KIDS Infant Development Program in Fargo, and earned her degree from Minnesota State University Moorhead. She is also a Certified Infant Touch and Massage Instructor and a Reiki Master. With a passion for holistic health and wellness, Crystal offers individualized sessions in the comfort of your home and will work around your schedule to meet your needs. Crystal lives in Fargo with her husband Jesse, stepson Christian, three dogs [Oscar, Weirdo, Tina] and cat, Lola.

dilworth | mn
contributors
10 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com 480
otmom list sources: parenting.com | goodhousekeeping.com | ndtourism.com 600 dollars is the total cost of spoiled food the average US family throws out each year
calories pared off a day are necessary for a 165-pound woman to lose five pounds in a month
11 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com otmom list SHARE THE EVENT love February 1 - March 30, 2013 Enter daily for your chance to win a Thermage® Treatment valued at $2500 or one of many other prizes to be given away on April 1, 2013 (no joke!). Become a daily qualifier for the grand prize by purchasing a product or service (additional entry for products and services over $250) or by sharing your favorite Catalyst product or service on our Facebook Page. you deserve it! www.CatalystMedicalCenter.com/Share Learn more on Facebook CatalystMedicalCenter 275 percent is the increase in children’s e-book sales in 2012 13.5 billion loaves of bread are made from the wheat North Dakota farmers produce annually 1 in 5, the number of single child families in America

Growing up in Bemidji, MN, Marcie [Campbell] Vesey, token sister to older brother Andy and younger brother Joel, was very active in church, sports and school With both her parents teachers, mom a 2nd grade teacher and dad 11th grade American history teacher, Marcie was determined not to follow her parents into teaching, but rather pave a new path for herself Originally declaring a Criminal Justice major with a Social Work minor, it took only a year for her newly paved path in life to drive straight into an Elementary Education degree from MSUM and later land her a Kindergarten teaching position with Fargo Public Schools at Longfellow Elementary Marcie and husband, Patrick are mom and dad to three busy beauties, Brenna [3], Kailyn [2] and Claire [9 months] Marcie loves to scrapbook, be at the lake, garden and absorb every moment of life with her girls Someday she wants their home to be on the Fargo Garden Tour, but first needs landscaping around the house and the time to maintain it!

photos: rialee photography | lindsey johnson

mod mommarcievesey age33,fargond

the one person i most identify with… my two teaching partners, Chris and Vicki. The three of us are all from different age generations, but you would never know it as we all have the same faith, philosophies of life [to always have FUN and a lot of LAUGHTER], child rearing and teaching beliefs.

the kid snack i am most likely to eat… Goldfish.

the best book i have ever read… books? Who has time for books? I SAY it’s a hobby but I don’t know the last adult book I read for enjoyment since my kids have been born. Now picture books…that’s another story! My new favorite is “Press Here” by Herve Tullet.

the funniest thing said to me by a kindergarten student was…

oh my gosh…where do I begin?

There have been so many, but I’d have to say it was when we were talking about the vocabulary word potent. The assignment was to draw something potent and a student said, “Mrs. Vesey, have you ever smelled one of my mom’s farts?” Me—“No, I haven’t and that might be kind of hard to draw.”

Student—“Well, I wasn’t going to draw it, I was just wondering if you ever smelled it because it stinks.”

a pet peeve of mine…

when people park too close to me in a parking lot! I drive a suburban- usually mini vans and suburbans means car seats/kids are on board. I always strategically park near cart corrals and away from vehicles so I can open my doors to get in and out, with an infant car seat.

the movie i could watch over and over…

Sweet Home Alabama and Pretty Woman.

13 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com

one thing i vowed i’d never do when i had kids that i find myself doing… using bribery! I don’t do it often, but it’s in my mommy bag of tricks for when I’m desperate. my mom was right about… what goes around, comes around [good, bad or otherwise].

my saving grace as a woman/mom… is having a cleaning lady [I LIVE FOR EVERY OTHER TUESDAY]! The time it saves me and most of all my sanity is wonderful. I couldn't keep up the house, work full time and chase after three little ones...she is such a time saver and money well spent!

my ultimate vacation destination…. beggars can’t be choosers. I would go anywhere just to go on a vacation!

i’m a sucker for…

Filet O’Fish sandwiches and a Diet Coke from McDonalds.

my husband would describe me as… beautiful, fun to be around, a good mommy, always laughing and annoying when I start cleaning at 10pm.

the ideal date night would be… dinner at my favorite restaurant, Sarellos [the full meal deal- appetizer, entrée, dessert and wine].

i feel beautiful when…

I finish getting ready in the morning and Patrick will always say how nice I look. He’s always so good about giving me compliments.

three things i’m super crazy about… anything with polka dots [especially kids clothes], Target [I think my entire paycheck is spent there each month], and lip gloss [I always have chapstick or lip gloss close by].

the most fulfilling part of being a teacher… being such an intricate part of a child’s daily life for nine [short- or long] months. I spend six and half hours a day with 20 little people- more than the time they have with their parents at home. I am in charge of teaching them academically and socially- I instill the foundation of lifelong learning. What an honor!

the crayon color that best describes me…

Electric Lime. I love the lime green color and nothing in my life is dull or boring. My house is full of energy and excitement and so is my classroom!

mod mom
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what makes a great floor

In order to help make sure you “love your floor” it’s important to make sure you put the right floor in the right place, installed in the right way. Some people prefer getting out of bed in the morning and finding a nice, soft feel under their feet. Others prefer tile or hardwood throughout their home.

A great looking floor can really make a room, but it’s important to pay attention to how the floor will perform in the years to come. Whether it’s your house, your church, or your business the right floor in the right place makes all the difference. Understanding the pros and cons that each flooring material can offer, will help in the decision making process.

16 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com shop talk

carpet

• pro –With its warmth, soft feel and lower price per foot, it is no surprise that this is the most popular type of flooring.

• con –Being fabric on the floor it gets dirty faster and really should be professionally cleaned. Depending on the quality of the carpet, the life of any carpet is limited to usually around ten years.

wood

• pro –The beauty of real wood is undeniable, it can give character and richness to any room. The installation costs are low compared to other hard surface flooring.

• con –This product is not made by man, which is also why it’s so beautiful, being made in nature also means it’s more prone to shrinking and cracking than the man made wood looks that are out there. While installation costs are low, the wood itself can be expensive. The more exotic, and usually beautiful, the more it costs.

laminate

• pro –This is the most durable floor, other than porcelain tile, that you can get. The look of laminate has come a long way in recent years with advances to control the shrinking and cracking. Generally, laminate is less expensive than real wood.

• con –It’s still hard to reproduce all the richness of real wood. It is a floating floor, which means the thicker trim pieces around the edges are necessary to allow the floor to float.

vinyl

• pro –Vinyl flooring is great for areas with moderate moisture [ bathrooms, kitchen, entry ways]. The long life of most vinyl really adds to the value. The new looks for vinyl flooring are very impressive. The luxury vinyl tiles have made the vinyl floor a real nice option in the new houses going up today. Vinyl floors are warmer than the ceramic tile alternative.

• con –This is still a vinyl floor, essentially a sheet of plastic on the floor. This is not always an inexpensive alternative.

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• Environmental or lifestyle changes

Call us at 701.235.1924 , and “Like” us at facebook.com/plainsent to learn more.

17 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com shop talk
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treatment under your tongue! Sniffling and sneezing, stinks. It’s why we test and treat allergies from seasonal pollens to pet dander, and more. We work to get patients back to health with: • Allergy drops (under the tongue) • Allergy shots (in the arm) • Medications (OTC
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tile

• pro –This is one option that can be used almost anywhere, and is the toughest most scratch resistant option. The beauty and character of tile is a “room changer.” With the new grouts available, tile has become very low maintenance.

• con –The two downsides to tile are cost and the cold floors up here in the north. In a remodel the prep work may be more extensive.

What is the hot, new flooring? Luxury Vinyl Tile [LVT] is modular tile made of vinyl and rubber that have the look of wood and tile. What makes this the hot new flooring is the low labor cost, a warmer softer feel, and the incredible look that may have your friends wondering if it is the real thing or not. Common types of LVT include Duraceramic by Congoleum and Adura from Mannington.

When deciding what to do in your house, find a flooring professional you trust, and between the two of you, match the right flooring to your needs and preferences. And remember, a great floor is always in the eyes of the beholder. If you love your floor, than it’s a great floor!

Carpet Mill Club, founded in 1991, has built an impeccable reputation throughout the Red River Valley based on their knowledge of flooring, accountability, and customer service. The reputation built over the past 20 years still exists with current Carpet Mill Club owner, Jeremiah Johnson. Whether in your home or business, Jeremiah and his team are committed to offering the best flooring solutions, in a variety of types and at the best price. Visit them today and see why their exclusive Red Carpet Commitment provides personal attention like no other service around.

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Carpet Mill Club 2402 7th Avenue N Fargo, ND p: 701.293.8738 www.carpetmillclub.com shop talk
19 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Your baby cries, you pick her up and hold her close and she calms down…you know the drill. You are responding to your baby’s cues, and that’s what infant touch and massage is all about.

The KIDS Infant Development Program has been offering infant touch and massage instruction to parents of babies with special needs in our community for decades. It can relieve many problems from gas and constipation to skin problems to attachment. But, infant touch and massage isn’t just for babies with special needs. A Certified Infant Touch and Massage Instructor can come to your home [or even your hospital room] to show you some techniques that will work for you and your baby.

getting with baby

intouch

Everyone should practice touch and massage techniques with their baby right from the start. Here’s why:

• you can establish a daily routine that is all about enjoying your baby

• instant attachment and bonding

• reading and responding to your baby’s cues helps her feel security, acceptance, self-esteem, and trust

• better sleep

• relief of gas and constipation

• better appetite

• helps with colic and fussiness

• sensory integration and body awareness

• promotes development of all body systems

• stimulates circulation and strengthens digestive, circulatory and gastrointestinal systems, which can lead to weight gain for your baby

20 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com
shop talk

• reduces discomfort from teething, congestion, gas, and emotional stress

• increases confidence in your parenting skills and communication, verbal and non-verbal, between the two of you

• provides quality one-on-one time with your little one

• reduces stress, blood pressure, and can be an overall relaxing experience for you too

Pick a time when you and your baby are usually calm and content. After bath in the evening is a popular choice. Always use natural, food grade, cold-pressed oils with your baby. Baby oils and lotions contain harmful chemicals and fragrances and are made out of petroleum. Coconut oil, jojoba oil, and olive oil are some great options. Yes, regular olive oil that you would use to cook—just make sure it’s a natural, cold-pressed oil. Natural oils are great for baby’s delicate skin and even have healing effects on the neurological system when absorbed into the body. Massaging your baby is different than a massage for you—it is more communicative than manipulative. Remember to tell your baby what you are doing and where you will touch, use a firm, whole-hand touch, and never tickle. Watch your baby to see how she is responding, and adjust your touch to find what she enjoys. You and your baby will love it. Practicing infant touch and massage as your baby grows up will establish a wonderful, loving bonding ritual. Building a nurturing bond between you and baby, promoting trust and love, and giving you confidence in parenting skills is all part of the experience. The power of touch is immeasurable.

For more information on infant touch and massage classes, how to use different oils and massage strokes, or to schedule a session, contact Crystal Irene Ennen, Certified Infant Touch and Massage Instructor/ Reiki Master. Crystal has a full time career with the Anne Carlsen KIDS Infant Development Program as an early interventionist and has been serving families for years. With a great passion for healing, Crystal is available as an independent resource and practitioner of holistic approaches for a family’s wellness.

21 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Crystal Irene Ennen Certified Infant Touch & Massage Instructor/Reiki Practitioner
701.799.0798 crystalorth@yahoo.com

the juvenile justice system: a

resource for parents

gettin’ through it

If you are a parent of a minor who is in trouble with the law, you should educate yourself on the juvenile justice system. The juvenile justice system differs from the criminal justice system in several ways and can be difficult for parents to understand. This article is intended to provide a broad background of the juvenile justice system, generally, and for both North Dakota and Minnesota.

the juvenile system

Each state has a juvenile court that is designed to address minors who have been accused of committing a crime. The adult court system largely focuses on consequences for a violation of the law. On the other hand, the juvenile court system is essentially based on the principle that minors are developmentally different from adults and more amendable to intervention and rehabilitation. The goal of the juvenile system is to provide minors found to have committed a crime a balanced approach to justice—consequence and rehabilitation, in an effort to deter and prevent them from returning to the court.

Currently, all states, including Minnesota and North Dakota, have what it is called a “purpose clause” that explains the goals of the state juvenile justice system.1 Minnesota’s purpose clause states that the purpose of the laws relating to minors alleged or adjudicated to be delinquent are to “promote the public safety and reduce juvenile delinquency by maintaining the integrity of the substantive law prohibiting certain behavior and by developing individual responsibility for lawful behavior.”2 This purpose, according to Minnesota, should be pursued through “means that are fair and just, that recognize the unique characteristics and needs of children, and that give children access to opportunities for personal and social growth.”3 North Dakota’s purpose clause emphasizes the promotion of welfare and best interests of the minor and the need to address the unique characteristics and needs of minors as the primary purposes of the juvenile court system.4

23 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com 24-Hour Crisis Line: (701) 293-7273 www.raccfm.com • Client Intervention • Advocacy • Protection Orders • Counseling • Education • Client Intervention • Advocacy • Protection Orders • Counseling • Education Hosted By: impactgiveback.org 24 Hour Online Fundraising Event 2.14.13 presents All donations $10 and up are matched!
1. National Center for Juvenile Justice. 2005. “Minnesota.” State Juvenile Justice Profiles. Pittsburgh, PA: NCJJ. Online. 2. Minn. R. Juv. Del. P. 1.02 3. Id. 4. N.D.R.Juv.P. 1 (Scope and Purpose)

The juvenile justice system was in the spotlight this year with the decision by the Supreme Court in the case of Miller v. Alabama issued on June 25, 2012.5 The Court ruled in a 5-4 decision that mandatory sentencing of offenders under 18 to Life Without Parole [LWOP] for certain major crimes such as murder violates the Eighth Amendment prohibitions on cruel and unusual punishment. The lesson from the case highlights one the general policies of the juvenile justice system –a defendant’s youth and the nature of the crime must be considered before imposing a mandatory sentence.

juvenile proceedings & terms

It is important to understand how things operate in a juvenile court proceeding as well as the terms used. First, juvenile court proceedings are “quasi-civil” [not fully criminal] and may be confidential unlike the adult criminal system in which all proceedings are open. Likewise, the constitutional rights of minors in juvenile court differ from those of adults in the adult criminal court system. For example, most states, including Minnesota and North Dakota, do not allow jury trials in juvenile delinquency cases. The few states that do allow jury trials often limit them to only cases of certain types.

Finally, the terminology used in juvenile court differs from that used in the adult criminal justice system. For example, a juvenile is not “charged” with a crime, but “petitioned for an offense.” If guilt is established beyond a reasonable doubt, the minor is “adjudicated delinquent” – not “found guilty” of a crime. Lastly, a juvenile receives a “disposition” not a “sentence.”

the path to juvenile court

The juvenile court process can unfold differently depending upon the nature of the crime committed and the age of the accused minor. The process begins with the commission of a crime. Then:

1. In some cases, the juvenile is then apprehended. More often, however, law enforcement officials refer the case to a prosecutor [county attorney or states attorney] for intake.

2. The prosecutor then reviews the case and if enough evidence exists to prosecute the case, the prosecutor files a petition with the juvenile court asking it to make a finding of delinquency. This starts the formal court processing of the case.

3. A copy of the petition is mailed to the juvenile, along with a Summons, ordering the juvenile, along with

24 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com gettin’ through it
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5. Miller v. Alabama, 132 S. Ct. 2455, 183 L. Ed. 2d 407 (2012)

his or her legal guardians, to appear in court for an arraignment hearing.

4. The arraignment hearing is held and the juvenile is required to appear before the court and answer to the offense[s] – admit or deny.

5. If the juvenile admits to the offense[s], the juvenile court can impose the disposition or order a predisposition investigation and schedule a date for a disposition hearing.

6. If the juvenile denies the offense[s], the case is scheduled for either a pre-trial hearing or a trial. If the juvenile persists in the initial denial of the

offense[s], a bench trial is held, where the judge is the sole fact-finder.

7. If the petition is not proven beyond a reasonable doubt, the judge dismisses the case. If the petition is proven beyond a reasonable doubt, the judge finds the juvenile to be delinquent and schedules a disposition hearing.

8. At the disposition hearing the judge decides the type of consequence and/or rehabilitation the juvenile will receive. A pre-dispositional report is a document that provides background information on the juvenile and makes a recommendation to the court. A disposition in juvenile court can vary significantly depending upon the juvenile and the severity of the committed offense. For example, the judge can place the juvenile on probation, order the juvenile to complete community service work or pay restitution to the victim, place the juvenile in a nonresidential, community-based residential program, require the juvenile to complete a chemical-use and/ or mental health evaluation, require the juvenile to complete treatment, and/or require the juvenile to complete an educational course.

25 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com gettin’ through it
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the juvenile court system is essentially based on the principle that minors are developmentally different from adults and more amendable to intervention and rehabilitation

gettin’ through it

court not always the option

In Minnesota, juveniles classified as Juvenile Petty Offenders [first-time offenders of petty crimes] are typically diverted from the formal court process. All county attorney offices in Minnesota are required to establish a pre-trial diversion programs.6 Ultimately, the county attorney decides whether a case will be diverted. A diversion opportunity also exists in North Dakota where the decision of whether to divert a case is based upon the seriousness of the offense, the age of the juvenile, previous offense history and the reliability of the evidence in the case.

If the case is diverted, the court may refer the juvenile to drug/alcohol programs, shoplifting classes, individual/ family counseling, cognitive restructuring programs, or to other programs such as restorative justice conferencing or teen court. The law requires that the juvenile admit to the offense and both the juvenile and parents must consent and agree to the conditions for conduct and control set out by the court officer.7

juvenile court eligibility

To be eligible for juvenile court, a person must be considered a “juvenile” under state law. In both Minnesota and North Dakota, the maximum age for being in juvenile court is 17. States also set lower age limits for juvenile court eligibility. In Minnesota, the lower age maximum is 10 and in North Dakota it is 7. In certain circumstances, a juvenile’s case might be transferred to adult court or heard under extended jurisdiction juvenile prosecution. In Minnesota, the court may order a juvenile who was age 14 or older at the time of the offense and who is alleged to have committed a felony level offense, be certified as an adult and tried in criminal adult court. Juveniles convicted of an offense in adult criminal court then receive adult sentences.8 Alternatively, in Minnesota, the prosecutor or the court may decide to have the case heard as an extended jurisdiction juvenile [EJJ] prosecution. Generally, the juvenile would need to be between the age of 14 to 17 at the time of the offense and the charge must be a felony level offense. EJJ cases essentially mean that

26 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com
8. Minn. Stat. § 260B.125
7. N.D.C.C. § 27-20-10 Specialized Physical Therapy to Treat: Urine Leakage | Chronic Pain Pain in Pregnancy | Pelvic Pain Bowel Dysfunction | Athletic Injuries Sexual Dysfunction Control you Hey Ladies, You Can Delivering Hands-On Care You & Your Family Deserve 701.373.0899 | www.apexptwe ll ness.com 550 13th Ave E, West Fargo Brooke Erstad, PT, DPT, CAPP “Let me help you get your life back.” The area’s only Women’s Health Certi ed Specialist
6. Minn. Stat. § 388.24

the juvenile is given both a juvenile disposition and an adult sentence. The adult sentence is stayed – meaning the juvenile is first given an opportunity to complete the terms of the juvenile disposition. If the juvenile fails to complete the juvenile disposition, the adult sentence, which might include incarceration in an adult correctional facility, takes effect.9 In North Dakota, juveniles may be transferred to adult court if over the age of 16. Also, if a juvenile is over the age of 14 and the court has probable cause to believe the juvenile committed certain specific crimes, the case must be transferred to the adult court.10

after the disposition

In both North Dakota and Minnesota, there are collateral consequences that might affect a juvenile’s future

a juvenile is adjudicated delinquent for committing a “crime of violence,” the juvenile is prohibited from possessing a firearm for the remainder of his or her lifetime.12 In North Dakota, a juvenile can be required to register as a sex offender as a result of an adjudication in juvenile court.13

Parents of juveniles that find themselves in the juvenile court system ought to be directly involved in the process. A supportive parent can make all the difference when it comes to the juvenile court process. Legal counsel should be sought to protect the juvenile’s rights and receive advice regarding the alleged offenses, the process, and any and all collateral consequences that might affect the juvenile’s future. Finally, parents should work closely with the juvenile, probation, and an attorney to ensure

TO THE YEAR OF

and introduce you to Dr. John Trupiano.

27  twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com gettin’ through it
WELCOME
you
are excited to now offer full plastic and cosmetic surgery options
Enjoy our innovative medicine, compassionate care and luxury expertise right here in Fargo. welcome Dr. John Trupiano 701-365-8700 | NewYouFargo.com
We

Dear Mom,

Where do I start? How do I express my gratitude for everything you have done for me over my lifetime? When I was younger, you rarely spent a second away from us kids. We had so much fun everyday together whether it was playing kickball or building blanket forts in the living room and you always wanted to take us with you and Dad on vacations. But, when I was only 9-years-old you started getting very tired and your feet began to drag; by the time I was ten, you were diagnosed with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

28 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com
what’s on your mind?
dear mom

You and Dad never told me you were only given two to five years to live because you knew that I was too young to fully understand. You didn’t have to tell me though; I knew that our family was changing drastically. You started needing more and more help with everyday activities, cooking, and cleaning. The hardest thing for me was watching you slowly lose your physical mobility first using a cane, then walker, and finally having to use a wheelchair. And as you began to slowly lose your physical mobility, you were always losing your balance and falling, which was devastating for me to watch. It was hard to see you cry and be in pain. I wanted to take it all away from you and make ALS go away.

As a child, I didn’t understand why you had this disease and why no other mom did. It made me angry; I just wanted you to be able to take me shopping and do activities together. I so badly wanted the mom I had when I was younger who could run around with us all day long. But, little did I know at the time, that mom never went away.

Even though ALS began to take over your body, you always remained positive and didn’t let it bring you down. You continued to be the most amazing mom and taught all three of us kids more than most kids will ever learn. You taught me responsibility and dependability at such a young age. You taught me that no matter how hard life gets, you never give up faith or hope. You always told me, “Give it to God,” because He can handle anything and everything when we no longer can. I can hear you every day in my head saying, “get your rest,” and I know just how important that is because of you.

I could go on and on, but I think the best thing you taught me was how to be compassionate. You were an amazing nurse with such a compassionate heart, and you passed that quality on to me. I still see how much compassion you have in your heart every single day; you are always putting others before yourself even though you are sick. I hope to make you very proud with my nursing career…overall I hope I make you one proud mom.

You continue to amaze me every single day. You didn’t listen to the doctors when they gave you only 2 to 5

29 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Why buy a home in today’s market? 1) Uber-motivated sellers 2) Lower competition for your dream home 3) Can’t miss properties that won’t wait 4) Keep a handle on your cash 5) Money pits become crystal clear Call or text us anytime with your real estate questions! Theresa Halvorson • 701-261-3363 Barry Halvorson • 701-388-0961 Anne Kallhoff • 320-815-8983 Want to find out what your home is worth? www.whatsmyhomevalueinFargoMoorhead.com Click & it’s Free! The moms (and dad) who understand family and real estate Search any home currently listed at www.forsaleinfargomoorhead.com

years to live because 13 years later you are still fighting strong. ALS has robbed you of most of your physical mobility, but I have watched you in therapy do sit ups on an exercise ball and walk with the help of a walker. It’s very hard for me to see you live in the nursing home, but I know you are receiving the care you need.

Your mental ability is far stronger than any person I have ever met, and that is how I know I still have the same active Mom from when I was young.

So, how do I express my gratitude for everything you have done for me? I know that it all starts with helping you fight this disease. You have taught and given me so much, and you continue to each and every day. That is why I have dedicated my time to help fight this disease with you, and I will continue to until a cure is found. God put us on earth to do good and use our gifts to help others. I know I was meant to help you, Mom, and anyone who has ALS. I will continue to share your story so that more awareness can be spread about this devastating disease, and I will not rest until enough research dollars have been collected and a cure is found.

I will also make sure that money is raised so families can get the equipment they need for their loved one affected by ALS.

I love you so much, Mom, and I will continue to be your voice when you get tired and when you cannot travel. You make me grateful to have a Mom like you, … I am beyond blessed!

Love Your Daughter, Erica

Watch the YouTube video Erica made for her Mom, Kellie, titled: Kellie’s Story; A battle with ALS.

This section is dedicated to capturing your parent thoughts. Want to share what’s on your mind? Submit your article idea to info@onthemindsofmoms.com along with a short bio for consideration in an upcoming issue.

30 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Dakota Pediatric Dentistry, P.C. www.dakotapediatricdentistry.com Dr. Chad Hoge, Diplomate, American Board of Pediatric Dentistry Dr. Mikala Hoge, Diplomate, American Board of Pediatric Dentistry 1st visit recommended 1 at year of age! FARGO OFFICE 701-478-5439 4265 45th St S, Ste 202 GRAND FORKS OFFICE 701-746-1400 2812 17th Ave S, Ste F comprehensive dental care for infants, children & adolescents Parenting Schedules Paternity Abuse Issues Prenuptial Agreement Gestational Agreement Collaborative Negotiating Divorce www.gjesdahllaw.com 701.237.3009 what’s
mind?
on your

february events

1-28

Y KinderKamp & Kindergarten Readiness

www.ymcacassclay.org

YMCA KinderKamp and Kindergarten Readiness preschool registration now open for 2013 school year.

5, 12, 19 & 26

Swing Dance

701.306.9681

Swing dance every Tuesday night at the Avalon Ballroom [613 1st Ave N. Downtown Fargo]. Learn the East Coast Swing, Lindy Hop and Shim Sham. Lessons 8:30pm9:30pm and open dance 9:30pm-11:30pm.

Adults $7 Students $5.

7, 14, 21, 28

Healthy Family Home

www.ymcacassclay.org

At the Y, they understand that health begins at home and they support families in their efforts to build the five pillars that support a healthy family home: Eat Healthy, Play

Every Day, Get Together, Go Outside and Sleep Well. Free and open to the public from 9:00am-11:00am at Schlossman Branch. For additional information contact Cortney Hagen 701.364.4166 or to volunteer contact Anna Harman 701.364.4134.

9

Sweetheart Ball

701.232.3980

www.rmhcfargo.org

Support the Ronald McDonald House of the Red River Valley at the Holiday Inn, 6:00pm-midnight, with an devening of featuring dinner, a live & silent auction & dancing at this semi-formal event. Tickets are $75.

9

Can I come in and play?

218.477.2214

web.mnstate.edu/childcare

The gym at the MSUM Early Education Center will be open for community members to come and play! Come check out our new facility and bring your children in from the cold to ride bikes, run, and play with other children. This event is for children 16 months to 6 years of age. Children must be accompanied by an adult. 10am–12 noon. Call Lacey for more details.

9 Awesome Art Afternoon

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Love art but hate the mess? Bring your child to these interactive art programs to have fun while building a variety of take home projects. All creative materials will be provided. Adult supervision required.

1:00pm-3:00pm Robert D. Johnson Recreation Center [1104 2nd Ave S Ste 215].

9, 10, 16, 17, 23 & 24

Larry Cat in Space

218.477.2920

www.msumplanetarium.com

Larry Cat in Space is a playful, imaginative cartoon presentation about an inquisitive cat who takes a trip to the Moon. Larry Cat in Space is primarily targeted at grades K-3, although everyone loves an entertaining, fun story! Parents and children alike will enjoy the show, and learn something about the Moon, too! Afterward, there will be time to explore the night sky and take a trip into outer space with our digital projector. 11am start Saturday, 2pm Sunday at the MSUM Planetarium [#167 Bridges Hall, 11th St & 7th Ave S, Moorhead]. $5 adults; $2.50 children, seniors, tri-college students. Runs through March 10th.

11, 18 & 25

Red River Skies

218.477.2920

www.msumplanetarium.com

Learn how to use a star map and explore the winter sky over the Red River Valley. This program takes a look at constellations, stars and planets visible this winter. Listen to some of the ancient myths about the night sky and take a modern trip into space with the help of our digital projector.

7:00pm start at the MSUM Planetarium [#167 Bridges Hall, 11th St & 7th Ave S, Moorhead]. $5 adults; $2.50 children, seniors, tri-college students. Every Monday through March 11th.

32 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen
Kindergarten Registration Hop on Board! February 11-15 7:30 am - 4:00 pm Register at the school your child will attend. If you do not know which school your child will attend, please call 446-1043. Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2013. 701.446.1000 www.fargo.k12.nd.us Please be sure to bring: • Your child’s certified birth certificate. • Your child’s current immunization record. • To verify the correct neighborhood school, please bring a current utility bill with your name and current address on it.

14

Giving Hearts Day

www.impactgiveback.org

The sixth annual Giving Hearts Day is expected to continue a tradition as a recordbreaking fundraising phenomenon – one day in North Dakota and western Minnesota dedicated to inspiring online donations for charities. This innovative, online fundraising program is made possible through a partnership between Impact Foundation, Dakota Medical Foundation, nonprofits trained through the Impact Institute and other community donors. All donations of $10 or more made to select nonprofit organizations are matched [up to $4,000] by DMF and other community donors.

17

Family Day at the Dike

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Head to Dike West, 1:00pm-4:00pm for an event for the entire family. Races, sledding, hot dogs and Pepsi products while supplies last.

23

Youth Ice Fishing Derby

701.499.6090

www.fargoparks.com

Bring your ice fishing rod and try your luck at the annual Youth Ice Fishing Derby! Come and learn more about ice fishing including augers, ice houses, sonar equipment and much more! Free Pepsi products, hot cocoa and t-shirts [while supplies last].

Registration by 12:30pm, Derby 1:00-2:30pm Woodhaven South Park & Fishing Pond [4802 Woodhaven Drive S].

22-24

Home & Garden show

www.fargodome.com

A lil’ spring time in the winter! The Red River Valley Home & Garden Show offers the largest selection of home and garden exhibits in the region!

28

Camp Cormorant Early Bird Registration

www.campcormorant.org

YMCA Camp Cormorant Early Bird Registration deadline. Register to ensure your spot this summer and save $25 by registering early.

33 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com The Area’s #1 Source For Coupons, Discounts & Deals SaveCoin.com Fargo–Moorhead & Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Restaurants, Auto Service, Spa, & Entertainment 50-80% OFF
events event calendar | february
sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory
dr seuss

march events

1

4

7-10

12

Riding on Angels’ Wings Fundraiser

218.359.0007

www.ridingonangelswings.org

Head to the Hartl Building at the Red River Valley Fairgrounds and support Riding on Angels' Wings mission to enrich the quality of life for individuals with special needs through equine assisted activities and therapy delivered in a safety-oriented, family-centered atmosphere. The fun starts at 6:00pm. Tickets can be purchased by calling 218.359.0007.

2

CPR for Family & Friends

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

Participants will learn the ABCs of CPR, how to manage airway obstruction, and will receive an American Heart Association participation card. 6:00pm-8:00pm. Preregistration is necessary.

4-8

Y Program Registration

www.ymcacassclay.org

YMCA Program Registration for all Spring/ Summer programs opens.

5

Champion Bull Riders

701.746.6511

www.alerucenter.com

Enjoy all the edge-of-your-seat action and excitement of professional bull riding. Tickets range from $11.50–$54.00. Start time is 7:30pm. Giddy-up!

2

Saturday Fun Nights

www.ymcacassclay.org/funnights

Parent's Night Out while the kids enjoy the YMCA! 4:30pm-9:30pm, Schlossman

YMCA [4243 19th Ave S, Fargo], Grade K-6, $14.50 for members, $20 non-members and registration is required.

Butterfly Ball Ticket Sales

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

The very popular semi-formal father/ daughter dance is back! Tickets go on sale starting at 8:00 am. Sold on a first come first served basis at Robert D. Johnson Recreation Center [1104 2nd Ave S, Fargo] $15/person. Phone calls will be returned after all people on site have been helped. Tickets may be purchased Monday through Friday 8:00am-5:00pm.

Sportsmen’s Show

www.fargodome.com

North Dakota’s Largest Sports Show is back for 4 big days! The 48th annual Red River Valley Sportsmen's Boat, Camping & Vacation Show will fill the FARGODOME with many tastes of summer time fun. Adults $7, Kids 6-12: $2.50 and kids 5 & under: Free.

9

Celtic Festival

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

This festival features entertainment stages, several presentations about folk traditions of the past & present, activities booths & Celtic foods at the Hjemkomst Center, Moorhead 10:00am-4:00pm.

9 Extreme Night

www.ymcacassclay.org/extreme Attention Grades 6-8 come have a night of extreme fun! 7:00pm-10:00pm at Schlossman YMCA [4243 19th Ave S, Fargo] only $5.

Child Passenger Safety Class

701.234.7233

www.sanfordhealth.org

Are your kids riding safely? This class is designed to give participants the knowledge on correct use of car seats. This class meets licensing requirements for Minnesota child care and foster care providers. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary. $30 registration fee/participant.

14 & 28

Car Seat 101 for Expectant

Parents

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! This class is designed for expectant parents and focuses on infant car seats for newborns. Make an appointment be at the Sanford Auditorium [801 Broadway, Fargo] between 6:30pm-8:00pm. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary.

15 & 16

Bouncin' Bash & More

701.433.5360

www.wfparks.org

This weekend of inflatable family fun will take place at the Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo] and

Energy Efficient GREEN Solutions

For Your Home

Whether it’s the installation of fiberglass windows, finishing your basement, installing exterior water tanks or looking for a new way to update your patio or driveway, we have the GREEN solutions for you.

701.429.3485 | www.authenticgreensolutions.com

34 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com
GREEN AUTHENTIC SOLUTIONS
Call today for 10% off replacement & new construction windows. military personnel receive 15% off windows

features many obstacle courses, giant slides, bouncy castles, Volcano Climb, Kiddie Land area and more. Bring your friends and play laser tag. Concessions will be available. This event is open to all ages. Children 12 & under must attend with an adult. Open 4:00pm-9:00pm on the 15th and 9:00am-4:00pm on the 16th. $10 per person.

17

Gold-N-Motion

701.280.0400

www.americangoldgymnastics.com

Don’t miss this opportunity to see to see why our local talent is considered some of the top competitive & show gymnasts in the country!

18

YMCA Spring/Summer

Program Session 1 begins www.ymcacassclay.org

Youth Baton Twirling, Martial Arts, Swimming Lessons, Rock Climbing Clubs and more!

20

Leading Ladies Luncheon

701.223.0707

www.trainingnd.com

In honor of Women's History Month,

Center for Technology & Business is hosting a Leading Ladies Luncheon at Holiday Inn in Fargo, 11:30am-1pm. Featuring a panel of women leaders that have played an important role in ND and the community.

22-24

KidSwap Mega Consignment Sale

www.kipswapsales.com

Sell your gently used items and shop for bargains! Maternity, kid and baby clothing, toys, books, furniture, sports gear and so much more at Scheels Arena in Fargo. Consignor registration, public shopping hours & volunteer opportunities available online.

23

Adventures in Nursing

701.231.5128

The NDSU Student Nurses Association & NDSU Department of Nursing are excited to announce the 2nd annual Adventures in Nursing at NDSU program. The event is designed to help area 4th grade students learn about nursing through a variety of fun, hands-on activities aimed at increasing awareness and interest in nursing. Two session options offered [9:00am-noon or 1:00pm-4:00pm]. Preregistration required with deadline of March 1st. Registration

fee of $12 helps to cover costs associated with t-shirts, snacks, and event materials. Additional financial support provided by the Partners in Nursing Grant. For registration and program information please contact Karla Haug at 701.231.5128 or karla.haug@ndsu. edu. You may also access the registration form via the OTMOM online event calendar.

Egg-cellent Bunnies

701.277.9240

www.redriverzoo.org

What does the Easter Bunny have to do with Easter? Real rabbits don't lay eggs! Learn about how bunnies, egg painting and fluffy chicks got involved with our Easter traditions. Meet the resident Flemish Giant rabbit and chickens! Zooventures are family programs geared for kids 4 years of age and older and their favorites adults! Kiddos under the age of 16 must be accompanied by a trusted adult. 1:00-2:30pm. Program fee: $10 members, $15 non-members. Registration is necessary.

26

Easter Egg Hunt

www.wfparks.org

Hunt for Easter eggs, meet the Easter Bunny and play on the inflatable games

Veterans Memorial Arena, [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo], 5:00pm-7:00pm. Also enjoy a bunny and baby chick area, cupcake and cookie walk, face painting, balloon tying, decorating Easter eggs, games and crafts. This event is for kids ages 2-8-years-old. Bring a camera to take a photo with the Easter Bunny and Easter eggs for decorating. Concession will be available. Fee is $3.

Safe & Sound: Preparing Your Home for Baby

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

You have the car seat, crib, diapers, and dozens of new outfits for baby. So are you ready to bring your newest family member home? This class at Sanford Clinic Auditorium [801 Broadway, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:00pm, will inform participants about the best practices in safe sleep and nursery safety, as well as provide general baby-proofing tips. You won't want to miss out on this valuable information. Free and open to anyone who will be caring for a little one. Call to register.

35 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com
events event calendar | march Follow us on and American Gold Gymnastics Inc 701.280.0400 www.americangoldgymnastics.com 2001 17th Avenue South | Fargo, ND 58103 Gymnastics puts your child Register Today For Classes! 18 Months - 18 Years OVER the TOP! Van Dam ChiropraCtiC Dr. Van Dam Scott A. Chiropractic p hysician & Certified a cupuncturist 701-280-2599 2701 9th ave SW, Suite 800 Fargo, nD 58103 (located in origin Chiropractic physicians) www.vandamchiropractic.com n atural h ealthcare for all ages… ear infections, headaches epidural back pain, sports injuries, insomnia, & more, W e W ant you to F eel better!
26
23

april events

Child Abuse Prevention Month

www.stopchildabusend.com

www.pcamn.org

Help strengthen families and prevent child abuse and neglect.

3

CPR for Family & Friends

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

Participants will learn the ABCs of CPR, how to manage airway obstruction, and will receive an American Heart Association participation card. 6:00pm-8:00pm. Preregistration is necessary.

6, 12, 13

Butterfly Ball

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Attentions dads, uncles and grandpas! Bring your little princess, ages 4-12, to the Butterfly Ball. This semi-formal father/ daughter prom includes music, dancing, photo opportunities and a mini grand march. The dance will be held at Hilton Garden Inn, [4351 17 Ave S] from 7:00pm-9:30 pm. Tickets are$15/person and can be purchased at Robert D. Johnson Rec Center, [1104 2nd Av S]. Tickets are sold on a first

come first served basis. Phone calls will be returned after all people on site have been helped. Tickets may be purchased Monday through Friday 8:00am-5:00pm.

8

Purse & Quilt and More Auction

www.catholiccharitiesnd.org

Support Catholic Charities of ND by attending their Purse & Quilt and More Action at the Hilton Garden Inn in Fargo. Featuring heirloom quality quilts and fantastic purses, as well as service, sporting and entertainment packages in both live and silent auctions. All proceeds benefit the Pregnancy, Parenting and Adoption Services of Catholic Charities North Dakota. Tickets on sale now! $20 per person or $30 for two tickets. Get Involved! Contact Sarah Ries at 701.235.4457 or sries@ catholiccharitiesnd.org for more info on donating a Quilt, Purse or any other item for the Auction, becoming a committee member or sponsor of this great event!

11

Safe Kids

701.780.1856

www.safekidsgf.com

Did you know that 4 out 5 car seats are

used incorrectly? Could your child's be one of them? Safe Kids Grand Forks, in partnership with Altru Health System and Rydell GM Auto Center, offers a monthly car seat check-up event on the second Thursday of each month. This event is from 4:00pm-7:00pm, its free and no appointments are necessary. Come to Rydell's and certified car seat technicians will check on your seat and ensure your children are riding safely.

13

Spencers Theatre of Illusion

701.777.3076

www.cfa.und.edu

Magic is no longer merely about baffling the audience by doing something seemingly impossible. We've seen it all before. Magic these days is about spectacle, drama, danger, and personality. Kevin and Cindy Spencer are the masters of this new magic theatre. They have redefined the art of illusion by combining original theatrical elements with cutting edge illusions and are one of the most sought-after illusion teams in the business. Don't miss this spectacular performance! 7:30pm start at the Chester Fritz Auditorium [3475 University Avenue, Grand Forks]. Tickets: Adults: $25, Students: $15, Child: $10

13 & 20

March for Babies

701.235.5530

www.marchofdimes.com/northdakota

Join the March of Dimes at the Scheels Sports Arena in Fargo on April 13th or at the Grand Cities Mall in Grand Forks on April 20th for the March for Babies. The money raised will support lifesaving research, community services, education and advocacy that help babies get a healthy start.

13

Heart and Sole Time Capsules

www.plainsart.org

Andy Warhol loved to collect EVERYTHING and seal his treasures in boxes he called “time capsules.” You can take a walk in Andy’s shoes by grabbing a shoe box and worn out pair of footwear to create a sculptural “time capsule” that will have you stepping back in time offered by the Plains Art Museum from 1:00pm-3:00pm. Low-temperature glue guns will be used, and parent assistance will be required for younger kids. Both parent and child can make a “time capsule” of their own or you can partner up! You decide! For ages K+. Fee: $11 museum members, $14 non-members.

36  • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com
or him...  not him... not him...   50% off any program of your choice.* Enjoy 4101 13th Ave S # 900 - Fargo, ND 58103 Fargo • (701) 277-0321 2534 17th Avenue S Suite A - Grand Forks, ND 58201 Grand Forks • (701) 746-9608 Call today to make a real change. Be Jenny’s Valentine! Lose weight for you... not any of them. *Plus the cost of food. Valid at the Fargo and Grand Forks locations only. Offer expires 3/9/13. New clients only. Not valid with any other program or discount offers. One offer per person. No cash value. Must bring advertisement in to redeem offer Restrictions apply

17

Hurray for Hoovestock

701.277.9240

www.redriverzoo.org

Visit the Red River Valley Zoo [4255 23rd Ave S, Fargo] from 3:15pm-4:45pm to find out why camels are called "ships of the desert." Discover more about the endangered Takin. Explore the differences between the types of hoovestock at the zoo, from the llamas to the horse, and discuss which ones don't mind the cold weather.

18

Our Family is Having a Baby!

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

Designed for "brothers and sisters to be," of the age 3 to 7 years to aid in adjusting to the addition of a new baby in the family. The class includes: characteristics and actions of a newborn, feeding the new baby, care of a newborn using demonstrations, doll play and a tour of the Family Birth Center. One or both parents should accompany kids to class at Sanford Auditorium [801 Broadway North] from 6:30pm-8:00pm. Preregistration is required.

23

Safe & Sound: Preparing Your Home for Baby

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

You have the car seat, crib, diapers, and dozens of new outfits for baby. So are you ready to bring your newest family member home? This class at Sanford Clinic Auditorium [801 Broadway, Fargo], 6:30pm-8pm, will inform participants about the best practices in safe sleep and nursery safety, as well as provide general baby-proofing tips. You won't want to miss out on this valuable information. Free and open to anyone who will be caring for a little one. Call to register.

25

New Life Center Auxiliary

Prayer Breakfast & Dessert

www.fargonlc.org

The 36th Annual New Life Center Auxiliary Prayer Breakfast & 14th Annual Evening Dessert will be held at the Fargo Hilton Garden Inn at 9:30am and 7:30pm. Tickets will go on sale March 11th and will be available by printing out the form on the New Life Center website or calling Lisa

Kellerman at 701.281.7027 for morning and Jewell Fiskness at 218.233.6497 for evening.

26, 27 & 28

KEM Shrine Circus

701.772.7125

www.theralph.com

The KEM Shrine Circus returns to Ralph Engelstad Arena for three days of fun for all ages. Friday 3:00pm & 7:00pm; Saturday at 10:00am, 2:00pm & 7:00pm; Sunday at 2:00pm & 6:00pm. Tickets are FREE for all children through 8th grade [with accompanying adult] and $14 for adults at the door [$12 pre-sale].

27

Garden Party

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

Kids and parents, get in the gardening mood at this pre-summer event, 1:30pm-4:30pm at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo]. Kids and parents will enjoy creating take home insect arts and crafts. There will also be a bug hunt, face painting, plant walk & more! Red River Zoo animals and Don Carey the Bug Man provide entertainment! Free Admission.

27

This 5k run/walk was organized in memory of a very special little girl names Morgan Kolling. With ALL PROCEEDS going to Morgan’s Wish through the Pray for Gray foundation, Morgan’s Wish helps local families affected by brain cancer. For upcoming information on race details keep checking the website. 30

Kids

701.293.7273

www.raccfm.com

Join the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center for breakfast at the Holiday Inn at 7:30am & help out a great cause. Seating is limited so call today! Call for ticket information. Table & Event Sponsorships available. Pre-registration encouraged.

37 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com events event calendar | april
Center Minnesota State University Moorhead The Enrolling Now! 16 months to 6 years ▸ Open year-round, 7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.
NAEYC-accredited preschool program.
Licensed teachers and education majors are dedicated to your child’s individual development.
Nutritious meals following the USDA Child Care Food Program guidelines.
Spacious gymnasium and playground. Learn more about MSUM’s outstanding Early Education Center! 218.477.2214 web.mnstate.edu/childcare $5 O ff $40 mini m um p u rc ha s e Women’s Clothing {Sizes 0 to 2X, Petites, & Women’s Sizes} Expires March 31, 2013 218-236-6937 www.mybestfriendscloset.biz 11 9th Street South, Moorhead Mon - Thurs: 10am-6:30pm • Fri: 10am-5pm Sat: 10am-4pm • 1st Sun of Month: 12pm-3pm like us!
Running for the Ribbons kolling0129@yahoo.com www.prayforgray.com
Are Our Business Breakfast

From the time she was old enough to sit on a stool and help her mom scoop cookie dough on the pan, Darla Julin [53] was destined for sugary success The Marvin, SD native credits her mom and grandmother for sharing their love of cooking and baking, but says it wasn’t until she received an Easy Bake oven for Christmas when she was 9-years-old that the deal was sealed and her future career was cemented Darla graduated from Moorhead Tech with a degree in Chef Training and Management and shortly after began dipping into cake decorating She began working in different establishments including restaurants, hotels, a hospital, school and bakeries In 1996, Darla followed her ultimate career dream and started her own baking business in her home and nine years later, in 2005 opened a retail location in North Moorhead where she and two employees create Fantasies in Frosting each day Long hours of planning and creating one-of-a-kind memories keep Darla very busy, but away from the bakery she and husband Terry of 25 years love to spend time with their four sons, Cody [30], Noah [20], Uriah [30] and Jeff [28] and three grandchildren, Chase, Carter and Cole [with another grandson due in April] Darla is an award winning cake artist and baker who is proud to say she absolutely loves what she does and strives to do the very best for each and every Fantasies in Frosting client

photos: rialee photography | sabrina kliniske

how did you decide on the name fantasies in frosting?

My sister actually came up with it. She thought it was a catchy name and I’ve had many customers tell me they love the name. describe your business in three words?

Artistic, Delicious, Fun.

what inspired you to open your business?

I always wanted to own my own business. I didn’t want to wake up at 62-years-old and regret that I never did it. I wasn’t getting any younger, the time just felt right to do it.

what would you say your specialty is?

mompreneurdarlajulin fantasiesinfrosting

We specialize in fondant decorated cakes. I just love to work with fondant. It is so fun to come up with neat designs with fondant. There is so much you can do with fondant that you can’t do with buttercream.

what is your most requested cake?

We make over 20 flavors of cake so that is a hard question. Two flavors that we developed this year were pink champagne and chai tea. I am surprised how much we sell of them. do you offer catering services? Yes.

are you considered a full service bakery?

At the present time, all of our products are to order.

how have you seen the bakery profession change over the years?

When I started decorating over 30 years ago, everything was done in buttercream. We hardly did any cakes in fondant. We did a lot of hand

39 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com 15% OFF ENTIRE PURCHASE This coupon cannot be used with any other coupons, discounts or sales merchandise. One coupon per customer Valid only at Once Upon A Child® stores in Fargo. Expires March 31, 2013. 701.282 .5222 2551 45th St. SW, Fargo KIDS’ STUFF WITH PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE

• Hilton Garden Inn in Fargo

piping on white, chocolate, or marble cake. Now we work with fondant on practically every cake we make and flavors are becoming more sophisticated. Just look at all the baking and cake decorating shows on TV.

what is the biggest misconception about our industry?

The time it takes to create our works of art. It might take a few days to create a cake and all of that labor costs money.

what is the best kept secret?

Our location. We are located just a block off of Main Avenue in Moorhead but we are off the beaten path. is there a ‘most memorable order/ event’ you have baked for?

I have been fortunate that this profession has been very fulfilling for me. I have won numerous contests, one being in the Mall of America and winning an industrial mixer worth $5,000. I took an eight hour practical test in 2006 and passed to become a “Certified Decorator”. At that time, there were less than 50 certified decorators in the United States. I also competed in a regional competition and won to compete in a national competition in Charlotte, NC where I got to meet “Buddy” from the TV show “Cake Boss” and even had my picture taken with him. I remember a lot of our orders, but I would say most memorable one would be the cake that I made for my son Cody and daughter-in-law Lindsay when they got married. Lindsay pretty much gave me free reign to do whatever I wanted for decorations. She cried when she saw it! describe your support system. My husband is the best! He will do anything to help me out with the business. He did a lot of the fit up work at the shop before we started and knows how passionate I am about my business and how much this profession means to me. He “gets” it. He is my best “taste tester!” My boys assist when needed. Our youngest son Noah, helps with deliveries in the summer and my assistant helps so much, she makes my job easier.

what keeps you motivated and inspired?

Our customers for one, they keep challenging us to do new techniques and broaden our skills. Secondly, I love watching the cake shows on TV and reading all the magazines that cater to bakeries.

40 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com
pm
heirloom quality quilts and fantastic purses, as well as service, sporting and entertainment packages in both live and silent auctions. All proceeds benefit the Pregnancy, Parenting and Adoption Services of Catholic Charities North Dakota. TICKETS ON SALE NOW! $20 per person or $30 for two tickets Visit www.CatholicCharitisND.org for more info Aimee Schwartzwalter, CPA 825 28th Street S, Suite D, Fargo www.accounting4success.com tax preparation | payroll financial statements Looking for a CPA that speaks your language? Call to schedule a nonjudgmental consultation. 701-365-0319 https://communityed.moorhead.k12.mn.us 218-284-3400 A Community Education Program of the Moorhead Area Public Schools Call or go online for a list of classes. Because All Great Spuds Start Somewhere mompreneur
6:30
Featuring

best business mistake you’ve made?

Hands down quitting my full-time job with benefits and summers off to start my business full time.

what is something you would like to experience someday?

Personally, I would like to learn how to play the piano and have the time for Terry and I to do some traveling. Probably win the lottery too so I can pay off the business loans!

what advice do you have for other women considering starting a business?

Make sure your family is behind you 100%. You will work more hours than you thought existed. Do your homework. Hire an accountant. Do what you do best and leave the rest to someone else. Hard work doesn’t guarantee success, but without it, you will never be successful. Just follow your dreams.

41 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com mompreneur
Fantasies in Frosting 207 17th St. S Moorhead, MN www.fantasiesinfrosting.com 218.236.1176 cakelady@gomoorhead.com All consultations are by appointment only.

rialee photography

timeless images photography

tiny sprout portraits

timeless images photography

tiny sprout portraits

tiny sprout portraits

timeless images ph otography
bug shutter

Stacy Erickson of Fargo never expected to begin her journal like this:

June 10, 2011

So here I am at 26-½ weeks pregnant, writing the story of the second love of my life, Bennett Matthew. And every day my heart breaks a little because I know that what’s to come won’t be easy.

She and her husband Matt, her first love, had just learned their long-awaited baby would be born with serious heart disease.

complex but treatable

“I was a blubbering wreck, but Dr. Trefz was so kind. He took the time to help us understand,” says Stacy, recalling their first appointment with Sanford Children’s pediatric cardiologist, Dr. Matthew Trefz.

A fetal echocardiogram showed that Baby Bennett has Tetralogy of Fallot, a congenital heart disease characterized by four defects that affect blood flow to the lungs.

Years ago babies with this condition died in childhood.

“We’ve seen great progress in 60 years,” says Dr. Trefz. “Now, depending on severity, this condition is treatable and kids can grow up to lead normal lives.”

Keys to successful treatment of Tetralogy of Fallot include early diagnosis, close tracking during pregnancy, heart surgery in the months after birth and diligent follow-up. Dr. Trefz also says that better outcomes are often a result of educating parents and developing a plan based on best-case and worst-case scenarios.

“When Dr. Trefz told us that Olympic snowboarder Shaun White had this heart defect, we hung on to that,” says Stacy.

change of heart

Emotions ran wild the day the Ericksons learned the diagnosis. Stacy went home and threw a lamp across the room, breaking it into several pieces.

But by the next morning, anger had subsided. In its place was a sense of gratefulness for baby Bennett—no matter what would happen.

“We went from ‘Why us?’ to ‘Why not us?’” Stacy says. “We thought, we have a great relationship, we’ve wanted a baby so badly, and now there’s this special little guy coming into our lives,” she says.

She laughs when she describes Matt’s take: “Well, we know from the ultrasound that Benny has two arms. No matter what, he can fish.”

best-case scenario

For the next three months, Stacy continued taking good care of herself, including check-ups with Dr. Trefz, a consultation with maternal fetal medicine and a tour of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, all at Sanford Children’s in Fargo.

Benny was born September 7, 2011, weighing 8 pounds, 6 ounces. His condition was best-case scenario, and two days later he was able to go home.

With open-heart surgery in Rochester, MN, and then follow-up care in Fargo, Benny will likely live life with no restrictions.

“Big Ben is thriving,” says Stacy. “And crushing every milestone.”

go red

February is American Heart Association’s Go Red month, and it’s the perfect time to love your heart by making great health choices.

“We’ve really changed things since we’ve had Benny,” says Stacy. “Now we have structured meals, we’re eating more fruits and veggies, and we work at turning off the TV and staying active.”

Like the Ericksons, you can Go Red in many different ways. For more information and tips about heart health for your whole family, visit heart.sanfordhealth.org.

44 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com

benny’s heart,

your heart

45
health
photo: sanford

Anative of Mayville, ND and the middle sibling of older brother Jay and younger sister Jasmin, Ross grew up dreaming of becoming a major league baseball player like his hero Kirby Puckett Instead of home runs, it was touchdowns that helped Ross land a spot on the University of North Dakota football team where he earned a degree in Banking and Financial Economics After five year stints in both Phoenix, AZ and Minneapolis, MN, Ross and wife Jessica returned to the Red River Valley to raise their family [Greta,10 and David, 7] Ross is now a part of TCI Financial Advisors as well as a passionate entrepreneur being co-founder and CEO of BreadVault Attending his kids’ activities, coaching his son’s baseball team, fantasy football, serving at Prairie Heights Community Church, and date nights with his wife are the things Ross enjoys most

photos: rialee photography | andrea burner

dad rossalmlie age40,moorheadmn

rad

most people don’t know that…

I once ate 14 pieces of peanut butter toast in one setting when I was a high school senior. That’s how much I love peanut butter.

i’m a big believer that…

we are all born with God-given gifts and talents and we are also meant to discover what they are.

i would love to invent…

caffeinated coffee that lets me determine my “crash” point. something i admire but would never do… go back to school and get an advanced degree. people might be surprised to know i… was bullied at the beginning of my 7th grade year.

i’m not embarrassed to admit that i… love old school rap and R&B music. three things on my bucket list… to visit every Major League Baseball park, take my mom and dad on their dream vacation, and a week-long vacation with just my own family.

i’m pretty good at… leaving long-winded voice mail messages.

Our attorneys strive to make a difference in the office, courtroom, boardroom and in our community. With offices in Fargo, Moorhead, Bismarck, and Minneapolis, Vogel Law Firm offers sophisticated legal representation to businesses and individuals and also supports communities throughout the region.

Our attorneys focus on a variety of specialized practice areas, including:

• Family Law

• Wills and Estate Planning

• Real Estate

• Business Law

• Personal Injury and Wrongful Death

• Criminal Defense Law

• Employment Law

• Environmental, Water Law and Land Use

47 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com
www.vogellaw.com Here for you. Here for the community.
Jade Rosenfeldt

as a family we most enjoy…

hanging out with friends who have kids the same age as ours.

my first job…

Mayville Golf Club. I picked waterweeds around the greens with a tool the size of a salad fork. funniest person i know…

Jason James — a college buddy who is now a professional stand-up comic. He’s a comic with a great heart for people. I’m guessing that is pretty rare…but maybe not.

my favorite saying…

the grass is only greener where you water it.

weirdest thing i’ve eaten… my kids would say, it’s mussels, although I don’t think mussels are that weird. i can do without… politics.

something i’m excited about…

BreadVault. I am a believer that if you can understand both the limitations and purpose of money,

you can improve your life and shield yourself from broken relationships in marriage, friendships, and in business. If BreadVault [www.breadvault.com] can be a tool to help train the next generation [and maybe this one, too] to avoid the pitfalls of money, we will feel that we have made a difference in the lives of people. And isn’t that our goal every day? the coolest thing about my wife… she is the least pretentious person on the planet. the section of the paper i always read first… still the sports section after all of these years.

my TV channel of choice…

the Weather Channel. It’s the only kind of reality TV I can stand anymore.

my biggest claim to fame is…

truthfully, I think fame is for other people. I’m not into it. My friends would back me up on that one. three websites/blogs i frequent daily…

businessinsider.com

breadvault.com

motifinvesting.com

rad dad

guilt-free family feeding

As moms, the worldly pressures to feed ourselves and our families the healthiest, most nutritious meals seem to be everywhere. The food should be homemade. The ingredients should be local. Or is it natural you are suppose to purchase? Organic? The food “buzz” terms may confuse us. What about the lasagna in the freezer section when you are in the hurry? Fast and easy food over the most local, nutritious homemade meal often wins. But then do you find yourself with mommy food guilt when your friend talks about her homemade noodles and you reflect on your freezer section lasagna?

50 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com body + being

I have felt mommy food guilt. The headlines grab us and somehow I used to feel pressure to wonder if I was doing enough to feed my family the right food. I think this is a new trend. Food used to just be food, a means to survive. My great-great grandma, Kirsti, was a widow in a sod house on the North Dakota prairie. She depended on food to sustain life for herself and seven children. She would have probably mocked in her native Norwegian tongue at the food trends and buzz words that fly around today. But her food was wholesome, basic and her recipes were passed down through generations. I cherish the recipes and tradition from my ancestors. But I don’t want to go back to the basics that my ancestors once faced.

Our lives move faster than our ancestors did. Technology. Careers. Families. We need convenience while balancing health and nutrition. Where is the median?

I have lived in and around food and agriculture for decades of my life personally and professionally. While raising three children in North Dakota, I have worked in and around food and agriculture from New York to California. I have dined in fine restaurants, shopped all types of markets and grocery stores and visited many sizes and types of farms.

From my experiences, I have over analyzed what I feed myself, my husband and my children. I have thought about my late grandpa’s 60 inch waistline and that if I don’t eat right and exercise I could inherit that waistline. I have thought about how I choose balanced healthy choices while managing a hectic schedule.

I have come to the conclusion that living in the upper Midwest gives us access to some of the most nutritious food the world knows. A 2012 Stanford study concluded that organic food does not have more nutrition than conventionally raised food. Previously in my career, I have worked with a biopesticides company as well as a synthetic pesticides company. I understand that both organic and conventionally raised food have pesticides and fungicides used to grow the food to rid the crops of pests and diseases. I have put my trust in our American food system where we have the most stringent testing and regulations in the world. I have put my trust in farmers to raise food that they feed

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their families and in turn are willing to sell to feed my family and billions of others. I have rid myself of the food guilt mantra that pop culture seems to put on us as moms and adopted a food choice mantra.

Food choice gives me the ability to choose to buy at the grocery store while having a garden. I have a garden in the summer, not for the purpose of solely feeding my family from it, but for the purpose that it relieves stress for me. Digging in the dirt clears my mind while teaching our kids a little about raising food.

I don’t want to go back to when my great-great grandma had to produce food in her garden in harsh weather conditions to feed her family. She must have had a sense of urgency and pressure. I have learned to can and freeze some of the vegetable produced from our garden. If I don’t get the canning or freezing of vegetables done, I know I can go to my local grocery store where a plethora of luscious food awaits. In the fall, winter and spring months, my one and only grocery store in Wishek, North Dakota might not have all the options of a big city store, but I buy what is available. It is seasonal, coming from other parts of the country or even other

countries. It’s not local, as in from my state. But local is relative. We will never grow strawberries in the winter in North Dakota and I don’t know any American banana farmers. Supporting farmers, whether they are in my backyard or elsewhere is important to me. Supporting different types of farmers gives us food choices.

Food choices mean you can buy any food that fits into the latest buzz or trend word that you want. But you don’t have to. You don’t have to feel pressure to fall into the latest trend or category. It works for some, but it doesn’t have to work for all of us.

Through ridding myself of mommy food guilt, I developed some guidelines in my food choices. Not rules, only guidelines, as I cannot always follow them. When I need a mango, I buy it. It’s not local but usually I first support local options. The food isn’t always local, but I purchase it at my local grocery store and know supporting a locally owned business impacts my small town in rural North Dakota. I also buy some local meat from state inspected meat processors as well as preparing wild game that our family hunts like venison or pheasant. The beef, chicken or pork I purchase at my grocery store is American raised. That’s my next food choice rule.

I support American food first. One American farmer today feeds 155 people compared to 25.8 people in 1960 [FarmersFeedUs.org]. If I have questions about how food is raised, I find a farmer in social media that raises it. I go directly to the farmer or rancher and ask a question on a blog, YouTube video, Facebook page or Twitter. It connects me to my food. I understand farmers have pressure to grow more food to feed a growing global population. It’s not something we consider as affluent American moms purchasing food for our family. We have so many food choices. But as a mom I want those

52 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com
body
+ being
one american farmer today feeds 155 people compared to 25 8 people in 1960

choices to continue. And as a mom, I want there to be enough food to nourish not just my family, but those with so much less across the globe.

I assumed most moms thought like me until last summer when I had a conversation with a nationally known mom blogger. When I explained my thinking about food choices, moms being bombarded with food guilt headlines and that it was so much larger of an issue to me because we need enough food to not just feed our American families, but a growing, global, hungry population, she looked at me bewildered. She said, “Oh I don’t care about feeding the world. We need to just feed ourselves first.”

Her statement set me back and I realized food choices mean different things to different people.

To where I am located, deep in the prairies of North Dakota, supporting food choice to me also means we are supporting 32,000 farm and ranch families. Agriculture in North Dakota matters in a way we don’t think about when we are buying a can of baked beans off the

shelf at our local grocery store. Agriculture employs roughly 25% of our state. It’s North Dakota’s number one industry. The can of baked beans that you use as a fast and easy solution in a family meal means you are supporting local farmers. North Dakota farmers are the number one producers of dry edible beans. Throw a few cans of beans into that chili. It’s local. It’s nutritious. Not only are you supporting local farmers, you are supporting a local grocery store and feeding your family. North Dakota produces 46 different crops and livestock from honey to canola to beef to potatoes and we lead the nation in the production of 14 of the crops grown. What a gift we have of food grown and raised in our own backyard.

In the upper Midwest, we are the foundation of food choices. I am not advocating for any particular food choice. I am advocating for choice. It’s a beautiful freedom and luxury we have and a choice that billions globally never see. Rid yourself of mommy food guilt and relish in the choices you have to give you and your family the most nutritious, healthy and often easy food choices.

53 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com
body + being Send us your rad dads and mod moms. Share with us an inspiring family's story. Write an article, or suggest a topic. You scratch our back and we'll scratch yours, with a magazine customized for you, by you!
diapers, worth the effort? school bullies, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
me time. here’s how to reach us
cloth
must. schedule.
info@OnTheMindsOfMoms.com

did you know

worth the race

Did you know…on average a child’s foot grows six inches from birth to 10-years-old? It does.

Did you know…kids outgrow or wear out their shoes on average every six to eight months? They do.

Did you know…there are many local families who can’t afford to replace their child’s shoes as needed? There are.

Did you know…nearly 10,000 runners…5,000 pairs of shoes running and walking 3.1 miles…helped kids get a free pair of shoes in 2012? They did.

55 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com Fitness For Life Starting today LOCATED IN CATALYST MEDICAL CENTER 1800 21st Ave S, Fargo 701.297.7767 + www.healthprosfargo.com STACEY ALLARD and KATE FRAPPIER 19 YEARS OF PERSONAL TRAINING EXPERIENCE (that’s $50 in savings!) NEW CLIENTS ONLY. EXPIRES 03.31.13 NEVER A MEMBERSHIP, ORIENTATION, OR CONSULTATION FEE 3 SESSIONS FOR $40! BRING A BUDDY & SPLIT THE COST! did you know

did you know

The Fargo Marathon isn’t just one of the best in the country because of the running. Its focus on giving back to our community makes it second to none! In 2012, the Shoes for Kids campaign kicked off. One dollar from every 5K registration fee was set aside for the campaign and Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Dakota and Dakota Medical Foundation matched those funds. The results…1,000 pairs of Nike shoes were bought for deserving kids in our area.

new kicks making a difference

In August the shoes were distributed to the elementary schools in Fargo, Moorhead and West Fargo. The teachers and administrators at each school then determined who would receive the shoes based on need or student achievement.

For Fargo Marathon founder, Mark Knutson, the impact of the Shoes for Kids campaign is evident. He has received notes, pictures and drawings of gratitude from the kids wearing their new shoes.

“I keep them in my desk as a reminder of what good is coming from this,” Mark says.

Others, like a local mom this past September, have reached out through the Fargo Marathon Facebook page:

“Thank you to the Marathon Runners!! My son walked out the door complaining about a floppy sole this morning. He came back home with a huge smile and a brand new pair of Nike's!

Very manly and cool and he tells me that he is absolutely certain that they will make him run faster! Thank you very much!”

56 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com ChoirFootballBandSpee VolleyballSwimmingThe BasketballTennisBaseba HockeySpeechSoftballC SoccerTheatreBaseballB oftballGolfVolleyballFoo SoccerBaseballFootballS ChoirFootballBandSpee VolleyballSwimmingThe BasketballTennisBaseba HockeySpeechSoftballC SoccerTheatreBaseballB SoccerSoftballGolfVolleyballF BaseballFootbalS Middle School The Next Step in Your Child’s Education! 701-373-7114 Call Today Visit our campus and meet Principal Nancy Weber! elim children’s center 701.271.1810 • 3534 University Dr S www.elimcare.org/ecc a ministry of elim care, fargo nd loving. learning. growing. ecc Ad.4C.MOM 0113.indd 6 1/7/13 11:27 AM Instilling A Love of the Game, Teaching Fundamentals & Fueling Competition! Programs for PreK to 18 years old Recreational to Select Competitive Leagues 218.233.6139 3655 23rd St S, Moorhead www.tricitystorm.org
Register Now!
kids outgrow or wear out their shoes on average every six to eight months

more to come

So, what’s next for 2013? “I want to make our 5K Run/ Walk one of the biggest in the United States!” Mark explains. “We need just over 13,000 people to crack into the Top 5 Largest 5Ks in the country. So, if everyone who did it last year comes back AND brings a friend…we'll get there! And that would be VERY cool for our event, the participants and for our awesome community!”

The Shoes for Kids campaign is just another example that the Fargo Marathon is so much more than a race. And for Mark, it’s simple, “If it changes the life of just one kid…then it's all worth it!”

Don’t wait! Register now at www.fargomarathon.com and be a part of the fun and make a difference! May 16–18…marathon…half marathon…team relays…10k…5k… youth run…something for everyone!

57 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com did you know
Child Care Center,
Christian based child care center Developmentally structured classrooms Creative Curriculum University Center Amber Valley Center 1401 Oak Manor Ave S 4737, 4741, 4745 (North of K-mart) Amber Valley Parkway (701) 235-7149 ext. 22 smallwonderspreschoolandchildcarecenter.com
there are many local families who can’t afford to replace their child’s shoes as needed
Small Wonders Preschool &
Inc.

True confession: New Year’s Eve is not my favorite holiday. Even as a young, single gal, I never craved the big bash that’s expected of December 31. New Year’s Eve makes me somber, not celebratory. Every year—on cue—I get a tish melancholy. It’s a process. My brain strolls through memory lane, reminiscing the highlights and lowlights. Only then can I flip the calendar and ready myself for a fresh start.

Even my song selections echo my disposition: Alan Jackson’s “Remember When” versus Prince’s “Party Like it’s 1999.” The lyrics of Mr. Jackson’s song make me, well…“Remember When.”

just a thought

“…Time stood still…Lived and learned...Life threw curves…There was joy and there was hurt…Life was changed…Came together...Fell apart. Thirty seemed so old. Now looking back, it’s just a stepping stone…”

With this sober melody ricocheting through the house, I begin unraveling sparkly Christmas decorations, storing them, and settling in to the newness—the nakedness—of January. And so…I reflect.

Balancing Rubbermaids full of trimmings, I tripped and face planted down the steps. It made me giggle and flash-back to the 2007 Fargo Marathon. I took quite a spill at mile marker ONE. Testing the theory: the bigger they are the harder they fall. At 5’10”, it’s a long way down and momentum builds on descent. My running friends—because they’re so dear and sympathetic—baptized me: SPEED BUMP.

I remember bleeding and crying. My friends peeled me off the street. Four months of cold-winter training, a new running outfit (though now blood-stained), my kids and a shiny medal were waiting for me at the finish line...just 25.2 more miles to go. I did finish, but I was mortified. I replayed that moment for weeks: diving head-first into the gravel in front of hundreds of runners and spectators.

Much like New Year’s Eve, I paused and shed some tears before moving forward. Limping, before gaining speed.

I smile at that memory now, and appreciate the significance of my nickname: Speed Bump.

We cruise through our course in life with [mostly] routine, forgettable, uneventful days. But there are instances—speed bumps—that slow us down and mark us. There are births, deaths, good-health scores, bad test results, opportunities, beginnings, and ends… forks in the road. Each speed bump brings choices… and memories.

Several years ago on New Year’s Eve, we took the kids to see the movie “Charlotte’s Web.” Talk about a celebration, the poor kids were deeply moved and cried the whole way home at the demise of the beloved Charlotte. Patrick clenched his fists, angry and confused. With a quivering voice, he asked, “Why did God even make us, if we’re only going to die? I never want to live without you guys. Never.” They pelted us with complicated questions about death and the parameters of life on

59 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com
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earth. Drew and I listened and tried to counsel and console them, through our muffled tears; wishing, too, for few bumps in the road ahead.

It’s complex and uncertain. Such raw beauty and intense fear. But, the fear of what we can’t explain is outshined by God’s promise of new life, forever. Through Him, life is without end. That’s the promise, sweet boy.

No matter our height, life provides speed bumps that test our faith in this promise. We lost our beloved [Aunt] Peggy Smith this year, from complications following surgery. You know her; we all have an Aunt Peggy. Maybe she’s your mom. She could be your sister. Whatever her title, she holds a special place in your heart. When I describe Aunt Peggy’s death as a “speed bump,” I am not minimizing the impact she had on our lives, or the hole her absence brings. I cannot mitigate our sadness.

But we inherited Aunt Peggy’s example of living a simple life, rich with a reliable resource: faith. This gift was her foundation. Aunt Peggy believed in the promise of forever. She was optimistic, even when the circumstances urged her not to be. She was everyone’s

friend. And when a situation begged her to be unkind, she defied the temptation. She certainly had her share of speed bumps, but nothing stopped her from being nice, funny, and strong.

Whether we are at the beginning of a long race, or just going about our daily lives, there will be speed bumps that veer us off our comfortable course; slow us down and tempt us to quit. Dig deep. Peel yourself off the road and limp forward, until you can set a steady pace. You will. Trust in the promise of new beginnings.

May your speed bumps be eclipsed by your strength in 2013.

Kathleen is a stay-at-home mom who serves on a number of community boards/committees, is active in her church, kids’ school, and politics and runs to sustain her own mental health! This Philadelphia native is married to a fourth generation North Dakotan, Drew, and proudly considers North Dakota her home. They have three children.

Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speech writer. Kathleen received a BS from The Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University, in Philadelphia.

60 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com
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down the aisle
photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

angel food strawberry kabobs

Colorful and fun these sweet treats offer a delicious surprise in every bite. A platter of Angel Food Strawberry Kabobs not only make an impressive, light dessert presentation for a dinner part, but what kiddo doesn’t like food on a stick? This no bake snack is an eye catcher and tummy pleaser.

you need

• 1 pound small to medium-sized fresh strawberries

• 1/3 prepared angel food cake*

• 1/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate morsels

• 1/4 cup white chocolate morsels

• 6 bamboo skewers

• parchment paper

• plastic wrap

• small zip top bag

*a rectangle or square shaped angel food cake works best for cutting cake into cubes how to

1. Remove stems, rinse, cut strawberries in half. Set aside. Thoroughly dry.

2. Cut cake into 1” cubes.

3. Alternately thread strawberries and angel food cake onto bamboo skewers.

4. Place the skewers on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper.

5. Place semi-sweet chocolate in small microwave-safe bowl and microwave until melted [ 30 seconds, stir, microwave for additional 20 seconds].

6. Working quickly, spoon melted chocolate in small zip top bag, snip bottom corner, and pipe zigzags over each kabob.

7. Repeat steps 5&6 with white chocolate.

8. Wrap well in plastic wrap and refrigerate 20 minutes or until ready to serve

source: www.pintrest.com

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heart,giving nurturing soul kathy freier

As a young girl, she had a special doll. This doll didn’t talk or walk, but what made her unique was a story created by an imaginative, young mind. For all who asked, the doll, with her blue eyes and white cloth skin, had an amazing back story. She was the young mama’s adopted baby. Looking back the story seems endearing, creative, simple, but it was also a glimpse into the future for this young girl and the abundant love she has to share.

photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki

giving heart, nurturing soul

Kathy Freier met her husband, Kyle, during their freshman year at college in Moorhead thanks to a compatible schedule. The pair found themselves in three out of four classes together and soon became inseparable.

“I used him for his brain for a little while,” says Kathy with a chuckle.

“I joke that she kept following me from class to class until I finally acknowledged her, but it was probably the other way around,” jokes Kyle.

They got married in 1996, six months after graduating

was a dream she’d had since childhood—but she didn’t love leaving Matthew in daycare. So she and Kyle agreed that Kathy would be a full-time mother at home. And as Kathy puts it, “Pretty much all I do now is wipe butts! It’s a skill. I’ve crafted it,” she says with a laugh and a wink.

In all seriousness, Kathy describes choosing mothering at home as the best decision she’s ever made. In 2002 Andy was born followed by Tina 18 months later. She loves the busy-ness and the chaos and can’t imagine her life any other way.

and started the typical lives of newlyweds. They bought a house, landed good jobs and settled into an easy, loving routine.

“She is loving, faithful, sacrificial and direct,” says Kyle of Kathy.

The couple always planned on having children and three years into their marriage, they were blessed to bring Matthew home. Kathy loved being a mother—it

“Kathy is incredibly dedicated and 100% committed to being the best mom possible,” says her good friend, Lisa Kaufman. “She enjoys it. She loves keeping her home and juggling her kids’ schedules and she’s very good at being organized and running the household.”

She settled into a routine and did all the things that moms of youngsters do. Preschool drop offs, arranged play-dates and maintaining a stockpile of diapers and

66 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com

wipes. She loved it. But she was also unsettled by a nagging thought—she wanted to adopt.

a world away

“It was not something I thought up on a whim,” she says. “I even remembered that as a young girl, I had this baby doll. She had blue eyes and white cloth skin. And I created this story in my head that I had adopted her from Russia. So I really feel it was a calling I had from a young age.”

Kathy’s mother, Carole Jensen, says her daughter’s compassion for other children has always made sense and that when she puts her mind to something, she will accomplish it. “I call her SuperMom all the time,” says Carole. “I have never questioned anything she’s done with her family, but I firmly believe she’s trying to save the world one child at a time.”

But Kyle was in the middle of a job transition, and with three kids to provide for, he wasn’t exactly sure the timing was right for his family.

“I wouldn’t be a help in the process and not a great parent to a new child due to lack of time. At that time I thought it might have just been ‘baby fever’ and would pass,” explains Kyle. “About a year later, Kathy again brought up the subject of adoption and this time instead of just thinking about it or giving a quick answer, I agreed to pray about it.  Within a three week period of time, God had given us a clear indication that this was His plan for us.”

Kathy was ecstatic and couldn’t wait to expand her family. She immediately investigated international adoption. “Both of us knew right away we wanted to do international,” she says. “We didn’t care that we weren’t going to have the cookie cutter family where we’re all blonde and blue eyed.”

Several months later and over 7,000 miles away, an Ethiopian single mother was making the painstaking decision to place her daughter for adoption. Already, God was working His plan for the Freier’s.

seeing ana

Kathy was intent on one thing during the adoption process: she didn’t want to work with an agency that would have her paging through a catalog for a child. She believed in being matched and getting specific alerts about compatible children who would fit in well with her family.

“I’ll never forget that day, ever, ever. I was actually at the dentist, in the dental chair. And I just knew it was my agency calling. So I took the call and they told me they had a girl about 3-years-old and they’d like to start sending me pictures. And I was like, ‘CLEAN MY TEETH NOW!,’” she says, laughing.

And later that day at a large family gathering to celebrate her niece’s birthday, Kathy got the email that would change the lives of two families. She saw a picture of a girl named Hana [the Freier’s later changed her name to Ana] for the first time.

Ana was beautiful. She had a gorgeous smile and spirit that translated even through the camera lens. Kathy found herself drawn to Ana and her biological mother’s story and knew that Ana was meant to be their daughter.

“A lot of single mothers like her are forced into prostitution or selling their children into the sex industry to survive,” explains Kathy. “I think she was, and is, very brave to give up Ana.”

Meanwhile in Ethiopia, an American volunteer named Emily Nolan had just arrived at what’s called a transition house—a place where children live while waiting for their adoptive family.

The kids live in a small home and are cared for by a team of nannies and volunteers like Emily. The children are loved and cared for until their adoptive families can travel to bring them home.

Emily was in charge of helping Ana and some other children adjust to the transition house and better understand why she is there and what will happen next.

Kathy began emailing regularly with Emily, asking how Ana was doing or if she needed anything. Emily was immediately impressed with how passionate Kathy was about her adoption and the pending adoptions of other children.

“Kathy was very helpful and open and really wanted to meet the needs of the house and children,” says Emily. “There was a small percentage, maybe three or four percent, who contacted me asking what was needed at the house. Kathy was one of those people.”

After emailing and sending care packages for several months, Kathy and Kyle began packing their bags. They were finally going to meet their new daughter.

67 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com giving heart, nurturing soul

However, Mother Nature was about to stage a daring intervention that would truly put Kathy and Kyle’s faith to the test.

fargo to africa

In the spring of 2009, Kathy and Kyle were scheduled to leave for Ethiopia to meet Ana. Their embassy appointment was scheduled and they needed to be there in order to finalize their adoption.

But just a few days before their trip, raging flood waters from the Red River overtook their Oxbow neighborhood and threatened to destroy their home.

“I woke up on Wednesday—we were supposed to leave on Friday—and everything was flooded,” she recalls. “There was water in the streets and our house was in danger. Luckily, God had me packed and ready to go.”

Over the next two days, the Freier’s moved everything out of their basement and relied on Kyle, his brother, and father to man the sump pumps which had to be monitored 24 hours a day. Kathy was in charge of getting her kids as well as her neighbors’ three children to safety.

“So there I was, with six kids crammed into the Avalanche trying to drive out of Oxbow,” she says. “Water was up to the hood of my car. The Interstate was all ice and flooded all along the sides. I just needed to get the kids to Kyle’s parents’ two-bedroom apartment in Fargo. And I did.”

Friday came and, if anything, the flooding was worse. Kathy was anxious she wouldn’t be able to make it back to Oxbow to pick up Kyle. For what seemed like hours, she carefully maneuvered on the horrifically icy roads to reach Kyle.

“He came out to meet me in his chest waders,” she says. They had made it. And they were on their way to Africa.

If Kathy and Kyle thought what they left behind was hard to watch, they were in no way prepared for the living conditions in Ethiopia. Kathy was overwhelmed by the poverty. But everything seemed worth it when they finally got to meet Ana for the first time.

“Pure joy,” says Kyle, of the meeting. “She smiled, gave Kathy a hug and said “mommy,” then came diving into my arms as the guesthouse dogs approached. I thought, ‘This is my daughter.’”

The next few days were filled with the ups and downs of getting to know a new child, with the added pressure of not speaking the same language. “We needed to learn her schedule and what her preferences were,” explains Kathy. “I asked Emily to give me the basics on what a mom should know about her daughter.”

One of the biggest joys for the new family happened when Kathy opened Ana’s suitcase and showed her all the clothes and toys she had brought for the little girl. “She flipped a lid when I opened her suitcase. She was pounding her chest and it sounded like she was saying, ‘mine?’ It was like I’d given her the jackpot.”

Over the course of six days, Kathy and Kyle finalized their adoption process. It was nerve-wracking at times because they didn’t always understand what was being said and worried something would prevent them from taking Ana home to America, but they were energized and uplifted through the whole thing by seeing Ana grow and flourish in their care.

“It was so fun,” says Kathy. “We didn’t get to see all her firsts when she was a baby, but we got to see other firsts of her travels and coming home.”

new home

The Freier’s returned just as the floodwaters had started to recede from their Oxbow home. Luckily, their home and its contents were undamaged by the natural disaster.

Ana readily settled into her new home, in large part because of her new brothers and sister who welcomed their little sister with open arms and hearts.

Everyone pitched in to help Ana learn English and Kathy patiently worked to help Ana understand the house rules.

“We have a sign up that says, ‘In our home we thank God, we say grace, we encourage one another, we play hard, we laugh a lot, we do loud really well, we give hugs, we are FAMILY,’” explains Kathy of what was expected of Ana.

not done yet

As Kathy and Kyle embraced life as adoptive parents, they quickly realized that the path they felt God had put them on wasn’t over yet.

“God placed on our hearts, what was on His heart, a deep sincere love for the orphan, the fatherless,” says Kyle. “God had shown us how these children were to

68 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com
soul
giving heart, nurturing

become our sons or daughters, not our adopted or foster children, just son or daughter—period.”

About a year after bringing Ana home, Kathy and Kyle took a foster care training program with the intention of adopting through that system. They thought it would be a long process, and offer them the chance to support a bunch of children through a tumultuous time in their lives. But, perhaps with a little help from God, things took a wild turn right from the start.

“My kids scooped Chris and Cienna right up. She was a baby so everyone loved that. And Christopher loved Thomas the Train. He would play non-stop.”

The day they got licensed the county called Kathy about a 3-year-old boy and 8-month-old girl. It was more than Kathy had bargained for, she thought at the time. “I was not prepared. It was certainly not what we were really looking for. I told them, ‘I don’t have a crib. I don’t have diapers. So if you have a better option, you should explore it.’ They told me, ‘We don’t have another option.’ And of course I said, ‘When do I pick them up?’”

That “crazy day” was certainly an indication of what Kathy would experience as Christopher and Cienna’s foster mom. She found the crib and bottles and clothing—that was actually the easy part.

Finding room—literally and figuratively—for them in the family’s home was going to require some juggling. Kathy asked her kids to make some sacrifices. They needed to share rooms and help out more often. They needed to be leaders in the house and help the little ones adjust to this unfamiliar situation. And the kids admirably answered the call.

As with any foster care situation though, there were tremendous ups and downs that were not only hard on the youngsters, but also on Kathy and her family who had so graciously opened their hearts and home to them. Christopher had nightmares that were difficult to soothe and he developed a syndrome that caused him to retain fluid.

“He hadn’t been with us that long and here we were making medical decisions for him. We hardly knew him,” remembers Kathy.

At one point the children were transitioned out of the Freier’s home, but a couple of months later, for unforeseen reasons Kathy and Kyle were given the opportunity to be Christopher and Cienna’s permanent home.

The children returned to the Freier’s in September of 2011. Everyone was at peace with the turn of events and knew it was best for the children. And so it is... with their adoption finalized, the Freier’s, are now a family of eight.

“But there is always room for one more,” admits Kyle with a smile.

69 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com
giving heart, nurturing soul

a new purpose

Through their experiences with adoption and the foster care program, Kathy and Kyle have made it their mission

“My husband and I knew we wanted to add to our family and embraced foster care,” says Lisa. “But as we went along, we both realized we wanted to be more proactive

to help other families who are interested in opening up their hearts and homes to orphaned children.

They started modestly, participating in National Adoption Month by hosting an Orphan Sunday event at their church. And now they hold adoption workshops to help people understand the process.

“There are more than 50 different scriptures that talk about the orphan,” says Kathy.

“Obviously, this is a big piece of what God is calling us to do.” And she’s pretty good at it.

At the first event Kathy organized, she called several friends, including Lisa, to “just be a warm body” and fill some seats. She was really concerned that speakers would be addressing an empty house and wanted to ensure the message she so passionately believed in was being received by as many people as possible.

Lisa had long dreamed of being a foster parent, but didn’t feel pulled to adopt. Participating in Kathy’s event changed her perspective.

about it. We spent a year and a half watching kids come and go. And finally we said, ‘No, we want to adopt. We want to keep someone. We want a boy.’”

Lisa felt really blessed having Kathy as a friend during this time. She relied on her for information and support.

“We finally knew someone who had adopted so we were with them through the process of bringing Ana home,” says Lisa. “It was a contagious love. You wanted a piece of that.”

Lisa and her husband finalized the adoption of their son the first week of January 2013.

They are huge advocates of the work Kathy and Kyle are doing to promote and advance adoption in our area.

“Kathy and Kyle are very committed to this. When they talk about serving the orphans, it’s very powerful,” says Lisa. “Kathy is also the very first person to say not everyone can adopt or should adopt. But everyone needs to be aware of it. Everyone should do something to help that cause.”

The Freier’s also feel motivated to keep Ethiopia’s spirit

70 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com
giving heart, nurturing soul

alive in Ana. They are compelled to give back to Ana’s home country, as a way of giving thanks for their new blessing by supporting Heavenly Hope Ministries in Ethiopia.

“We have a bigger purpose than just adopting this one child. What a legacy to give Ana that we didn’t just pluck her out of this place. We want to continue to help her home country,” explains Kathy.

Heavenly Hope Ministry’s [HHM] focus is to bring the gospel to orphans in Ethiopia as well as provide for their basic needs of food, clothes, shelter, school, and medicine. Kathy and Kyle help raise funds for the ministry, as well as spending 10 days in 2010 playing and loving on the children in HHM’s orphan homes and ministering to the children living in the ministry’s street kids shelter. They have been able to develop friendships with the Ethiopian pastors and mentors working with orphan care through their trips.

Kyle also took the couple’s sons to Ethiopia in 2011 to work with the ministry. “They brought hats, stuffed animals, clothes and toiletries,” says Kathy. “Andy has

giving heart, nurturing soul

a heart of gold and embraced the trip. Matt needed to go and it changed him. He’s 13 and that’s a selfish age. But the trip opened his eyes. We all need to expose our kids to something like this.”

her greatest gifts

“She’s wired to be busy and to be helping people,” says Lisa of Kathy. “She enjoys being a servant for people. She’s a very selfless person.”

Psalms 127, verse 3 says, “Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him.” And for Kathy, they are her greatest pride. Her older children have always embraced Ana, Christopher and Cienna. They have never treated them like they weren’t part of the family.

“They’re amazing,” says Kathy wiping away tears. “To give up your room, your toys…to share your mom and dad…they’re my heroes in this story.”

And Kathy is happy. She is satisfied by the twists and turns her parenting journey has taken. She says she knows her family isn’t perfect, but they’re on this path together and she can’t wait to see where it may take them next.

71 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Red River Valley Foster/Adopt Coalition

on the fast track

You brought your sweet wee one home and heard it a bazillion times…”enjoy this time because it goes so fast.” Yeah, right! Diapers, sleepless nights, spit-up stained clothes feel like eternity, but it gets easier. Next thing you know you’re watching him blow out the candles on his sixth birthday and you think, “two more six year time spans and he’ll be graduating high school. Then he’ll go to college. And what if it is far away? And then he meets some girl and what if I don’t like her and he quits calling home? And then they get married and they have to spend every Christmas with her side of the family and I mean they’re my grand kids too…and…what if…” STOP and BREATH!!! Yes, we learn very quickly that time going fast is a complete understatement. And there are times our kiddos try to grow up quicker than we like, so be ready!

ready set grow
photo: thuen studios | scott thuen
grow
ready set

wee ones

You’ve got THE book…your wee one developing code of conduct. You pour over the pages. He should be doing this at that time, followed by that and so on. And life rolls along as you check off each milestone, but wait! He went A, B, D? No C! Uh oh…

you aint gotta crawl before you walk They roll over, then sit-up, then crawl, and then walk. In that order, right? Well, not always. Today’s parents

are seeing many wee ones skip crawling and go right to walking. One reason may be tied to the fact that wee ones spend a lot more time on their backs. The campaign to prevent sudden infant death syndrome by putting wee ones to sleep on their backs has been very successful and has also resulted in less tummy time. Tummy time strengthens neck muscles and prompts wee ones to eventually get on all fours and crawl. So should you be worried? No. If everything else is developing normally, don’t worry about him skipping crawling or feel like you should try to delay his walking so he crawls first. Let him develop naturally and do not fear his crawl-lessness is going to hinder any physical or intellectual development. But you better be ready to baby proof:

• drop it real low Make sure you drop the crib mattress to the lowest level. A walker can turn into a climber and you don’t want him taking a header out of his crib.

• window danger Don’t forget about your windows when you are baby proofing. You can buy window guards that allow windows to open no more than four inches and visit www.windowcoverings.org for advice and free retrofit safety kits for your window coverings.

• plug, block, raise, lock it Your wee one’s universe has just expanded and oh, is he curious. Plug all electrical sockets, install gates on all stairs, get everything out of reach that could be hazardous to baby such as plants, fridge magnets, medication and breakables. And don’t forget to lock doors and fasten down tippy furniture such as TVs and dressers.

74 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com
97% of wee ones have flat feet, but as muscles begin to strengthen, arches develop
Learn how to save moneyasafamily. Signup online at breadvault.com or Download [0–18 months]

You watch the clock. So much to do and soon it will be your time, right? It will be naptime and that’s when you turn into Wonder Woman. Competing tasks in a single bound. Activities that take the mere mortal hours you can do in minutes. That is if your tot actually takes his nap…please!

sleep…because i said so Sleep is important for growth and development. On average tots sleep about 12-14 hours a day. This usually includes one daytime nap. So, he should take a nap. You’d like him to take a nap. But he despises nap time. Sound familiar? Trying to reason with a defiant tot can be beyond frustrating. So what do you do? First, you can put your best effort forward to get him to nap:

• again & again R-o-u-t-i-n-e! Being on a schedule is so important for our tots. Being consistent with naptime whether at home or daycare, offers the greatest opportunity for successful z-catching.

• set the stage Make the environment conducive to sleeping. Draw the blinds, make it quiet or provide some quiet music or white noise. And don’t forget his favorite blankie or stuffed animal.

• stay strong A battle of wills is no fun, but stay firm and calm.

It is important to remember that every kiddo is different and your tot’s sleep patterns will change as he goes through growth spurts. Are naps important? Sure. If he absolutely refuses to take a nap [not just a couple days, but weeks], will he be harmed in some way? No. Don’t get too worked up that naptime is controlling

tots

your life. Rather than napping, you can require some quiet time where he just needs to “rest.” Let him look at books or have a couple toys and just relax. Some tots don’t need as much sleep as others and if he is sleeping well at night, is thriving and isn’t a huge crab monster without a nap, your tot [and you] are doing just fine.

75 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com
more than 263,000 US children have tonsillectomies each year and sleep apnea is a major reason
[18 months–3 years]

We are always so worried about our kiddos meeting the milestones. We worry about delays and what to do so our kiddo will catch up. But what if the opposite was happening? What if your kiddo is leaving other preschoolers to eat his milestone dust? What if he really is “gifted?” What do you do with that?

takes after his mama

Of course we all think our preschoolers are special and amazing. Being gifted is different. The National Association of Gifted Children [www.nagc.org] states

gifted individuals “are those who demonstrate outstanding levels of aptitude or competence in one or more domains.” While many children aren’t classified as gifted until they get to school, early signs of giftedness may include reaching developmental milestones well before his peers, advance language development, a specific talent such as artistic or musical ability, is able to memorize facts from books, TV or movies easily, is an avid or early reader and has the ability to concentrate for long periods of time on things he is passionate about are just a few things. If you suspect your preschooler is gifted, talk to your physician, who may encourage having your preschooler tested. One of our main responsibilities as parents is to promote our kiddos potential as they grow. So, if your preschooler is indeed gifted, here are some things to keep him moving in the right direction:

• hear what i’m sayin’ If your 3-year-old is using full sentences, talk back to him in full sentences. With an advanced vocabulary, speaking to him at a level he isn’t at may be frustrating for him.

• move it up Find games and activities that challenge your preschooler. Odds are you will have to use items recommended for ages older than your preschooler, but you don’t want him to get bored or not enjoy it.

• read it out Like all kiddos, read to your preschooler and if he is able to read, let him read to you. Also introduce him to the local library and its infinite amount of knowledge and learning.

• slow down Don’t get caught up in your child’s giftedness by giving too much direction. He’s still a kid. Let him take the lead and follow what he is interested in and passionate about.

in the US the National Association for Gifted Children estimates there are approximately three million academically gifted children in grades K-12 [about 6% of the student population]
preschoolers
BASICS, BUBBLES & BONDING YMCA OF CASS AND CLAY COUNTIES www.ymcacassclay.org | 701.293.9622 Parent/Child Swim Lessons sources: cnn.com | uctv.tv | pregnant.thebump.com tobaccofreekids.org | dosomething.org | today.msnbc.msn.com health.howstuffworks.com | focusonthefamily.com | nagc.org babycenter.com | sleepfoundation.org
[3–5 years]

It’s a beautiful day at the lake. Slight breeze, 87 degrees, sun is shining with little to no humidity. Perfect! So, what’s up with your big kid when she comes out of the cabin wearing corduroy pants? Head scratcher moment? Yes. Doctor appointment needed to determine if daughter has rare reverse temperature sensation disorder? Perhaps. Sign of self-conscious issue involving the lower extremities? Likely. Better get to the bottom of this.

the art & agony of hair removal

Leg shaving. Ok, show of hands—who loves shaving their legs? Now I didn’t ask if you like having smooth legs. Who loves the act of shaving their legs? One, maybe two of you? I know my hand is down. What a pain. You always have to do it again. But every young girl can’t wait for this rite of passage and let’s face it, hairy legs can be a catalyst of self-conscious behavior especially if it is very noticeable. What do you do if your big kid starts requesting the lady Schick Quattro from Santa? Here are some things to remember as you embark on hair removal:

• right or wrong Ten to 11 years old seems to be a typical starting age of leg shaving, but of course there is nothing concrete about “typical.” Your house, your call. Talk to your big kid and see why she wants to do this. Is it because everyone else is [always a bad reason] or is it a point of self-consciousness. A young girl asking to shave her legs is often more about self-esteem than growing up.

• razor check If you decide leg shaving is allowed, make sure your big kid knows how to do it. You don’t want her looking like she got in a fight with a porcupine and came out on the wrong end. Cuts and nicks hurt. The keys to proper shaving include: sharp razor, shaving cream, gel or soap, water, gentle pressure, and taking your time. If you aren’t confident your big kid can shave her legs independently, consider getting an electric razor for her.

• this is how you do it Monkey see, monkey do. Show your big kid how a pro does it. Be sure to hit on the

importance of using enough water and having a good lather, use upward strokes, take your time, and use a moisturizer when you’re done. Also, shaving at the end of a bath or shower is best because the warm water keeps the hair soft.

Again, the decision to let your big kid shave or not is up to you. If you decide to start this journey, enjoy it. Use the time together to bond and make sure she gets the info from you and isn't listening to Suzy down the street and using her rusty razor. Mama knows best… as always!

Time to Clean Out the Closets?

March 22-24, 2013

KidSwap

77 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com
it is a myth that shaving causes hair to grow back thicker, darker or faster [genetics and hormones are to blame instead]
Sell your gently used items and shop for bargains!
Maternity, kid and baby clothing, toys, books, furniture, sports gear and so much more!
Mega Consignment Sale
www.KidSwapSales.com Consignor registration, public shopping hours & volunteer opportunities available at big kids [6–9 years]
Scheels Arena—Fargo, ND

You really couldn’t have imagined this happening. Not under your watch. Not your sweet tweener. No way! But it has. He’s been smoking! Now what?

up in flames

You would seriously have to live under a rock to not know how bad smoking is for you. So what in the world is your tweener thinking? There are many factors that can influence a kiddo’s decision to smoke. Peer pressure, the perception that smoking is sophisticated or grownup,

simple curiosity, wanting to rebel, and watching mama [yes, you if you smoke] can all provide some influence on taking those first puffs. So, now you are at the point where you know he is doing it, what now? Consider these tips to help deter your tweener from smoking again:

• 1.2.3.breath As hard as it will be, remain as calm as you can. Completely freaking out [as much as you want to] will more than likely flip the “I’m not listening” switch. You want him to hear you, so stay calm.

• save the black lung Yes, it is very bad for you and causes cancer, but your tweener isn’t concerned with years from now. Many have a sense of invincibility, so hit closer to home with smoking consequences such as yellow teeth, bad breath, shortness of breath and stinky clothes. Not cool at all.

• you in trouble Yes, there needs to be some consequences. Years ago, you might have heard of the kid who had to smoke the whole pack of cigarettes or better yet eat a cigarette [excuse me, I just puked a little in my mouth], but that might not work for this generation. Never the less, there are consequences for him choosing to smoke, so give him more chores around the house and make sure he loses privileges such as TV watching, cell phone usage, sleepovers, extracurricular activities or whatever is valuable to him.

• walk the walk You smoke? Quit. Be the example you want him to be. And help him quit if your initial smoking discovery wasn’t a first time puff. Talk to your physician and determine the tobacco cessation program that is right for you and him.

In a nutshell, don’t freak out, but don’t put your head in the sand either. Address the situation, enforce consequences, get him help if needed and keep communicating. And if you smoke, today is a great day to quit!

78 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com
nearly 4,000 kiddos in the US try their first cigarette each day
FEBRUARY 28 TH , MARCH 1ST & 2 ND Visit OptixGallery.com for more information. THURSDAY 2/28 TRUNK SHOWS FRIDAY 3/1 TRUNK SHOWS tweeners [10–12 years]

Been there done that. He knows it all and is so ready to blow this popsicle stand! Bright lights, big city, endless possibilities…hold on! Lots to look forward to for your teen as he approaches high school graduation, but it’s important you get them back on course when dreaded senioritis ensues.

greener pastures

Unmotivated, distracted, procrastinating [more than normal], and disinterested in most anything to do with school [except the significant other and prom] are the tell-tale signs of senioritis. This condition typically spikes with the onset of the second half of senior year. Let’s face it, senioritis is understandable. Many teens have spent their high school years preparing to get into college and now they have been accepted and even secured scholarship money. Others will be entering the work force upon graduation, so what’s the point of high school. Understandable…yes. Acceptable…NO!

Keep your senior senioritis-free with these tips:

• suck it up Don’t fall into the trap of being too apathetic. Yes, life becomes harder the older we get and you want him to enjoy the end of his childhood, but not at the expense of completing his responsibilities. We all have to do things we don’t necessarily like or truly want to do, but too bad! Make it clear that the exceptions set for the first three and a half years of high school still apply. Get after it!

• loosen the leash Cut your teen some slack. If he is meeting his commitments, give him more responsibility and control in the form of an extended curfew and planning for life in the dorm or apartment. Responsibility and control are two key factors in adult success.

• check in You might feel like you shouldn’t have to check in on your teen at school, but don’t let that

stop you! If you are worried about his performance, check in with his teachers and school counselor. Working together you can lessen the effects of senioritis for your teen and make sure he doesn’t go over the deep end and really screw up his last year of high school.

Yep, time has gone fast. Your baby is all grown-up. Enjoy these last few months and celebrate all the accomplishments he is making along the way.

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79 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com
US high school graduation rate ranks 19th in the world compared to 40 years ago when we were number one
teens [13–18years]
1001183.1
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Who is Sally?

She is our quintessential, “do-it-all” mom and friend who reminds us to remember the woman behind the mom.

what’s your word?

Well it’s February. For the shortest month it’s long! I know we all should be walking around with smiles on our faces and thinking about love and hearts and all that stuff, but around this time of year I find myself not quite right. The excitement of the holidays is gone and the New Year already seems like forever away. Most of my resolutions [I mean lifestyle changes!] have been broken or forgotten. Not even Saint Valentine can pull me out of what I have now come to call my February Funk.

It is cold, snowy and slippery, the days are short and there is no end in sight for winter. It is just plain hard to be upbeat this time of year and I find myself in a mental battle. In the past I would counter act this feeling with a little [lot] of retail therapy. However, lately my husband has been walking around the house mumbling about the fiscal cliff. Apparently it has nothing to do with government and everything to do with his wife’s spending. So I must find a better option.

Maybe you have a case of February Funk. The symptoms include, but are not limited to: wearing sweatpants A LOT and not going to the gym; sitting on the couch and thinking about cleaning the kitchen, buying groceries, making dinner or combing your hair and then not doing anything. It’s hard for me to understand my funk. Because really there isn’t too much going wrong, actually things are GOOD. Hubby’s working, the kids are healthy, my job is exciting, food on the table, roof over our heads, and so on. Some would even say I have the life of riley. Which only translates to feelings of guilt about how I feel. But guilt doesn’t cure February Funk. I know if it were someone else, I would tell them, “Get over it and off the couch!” in my best mom voice.

Instead, I have been doing my usual remedies that include drinking lots of coffee, buying expensive facial lotion and buying “dressy” sweatpants that you can totally wear out of the house [maybe my husband has a point about that fiscal cliff thing]. My usuals didn’t seem to be working so I did what any woman in her right mind would do—I turned to the Internet. There

80 on the minds of moms | february • march twenty thirteen www.onthemindsofmoms.com

are several ideas for fighting the February Funk or Seasonal Affective Disorder as the Internet calls it [I like my name better because it’s more fun to say]. They include things like exercise, diet changes and getting up earlier. Do I have this disorder? Probably not, but I do think I have slipped into complacency and heavy avoidance mode. Needless to say I kept searching. Looking for the easy button.

I read a ton of mom blogs for research [I really mean fun here] and I ran across an interesting idea. Choose a word that will describe your upcoming year and live by it. Bingo! That’s one I can handle. Now most examples are crazy, great, and meaningful. They include words like motivation, flourish, balance, believe, confidence, passion and perseverance...you get the idea. After much deep thought—I had a lot of thinking time lying on the couch —my word for 2013 will be…Sassy!

You probably gasped because when most moms think of “sassy” it’s in the negative sense of the word. Time to put a Sally spin on it. Sassy is defined as lively, bold and full of spirit. When I read that definition that is exactly how I want to attack 2013. I am going to be lively

and live in the now. I am not going to worry about last month or what is going to happen next month. I am going to enjoy today. Maybe even ditch the sweatpants for skinny jeans and boots. Which leads too…being bold. I am going to dream big and focus on what I want, setting goals and celebrating the steps I make to achieve them. This will definitely involve getting off the couch and actually going to the gym! I will be full of positive spirit when I interact with my kids, husband and friends and share my happiness with people around me. I am going to have fun. In short I am going to add a little “sassy” to everything I do.

So, if you find yourself feeling not quite right, take a minute and think. Maybe it isn’t just you being tired and overworked, you know..being a mom. It could be that February Funk [sometimes it can creep into other months too] hitting you. First recognize it, secondly don’t feel guilty about it and lastly do something about it. Take some time to find the word that will define your year. It will set your mind and body in motion. Work it into your everyday life. Find your Sassy Sally Self. And don’t worry Spring is on the way!

81 february • march twenty thirteen | on the minds of moms www.onthemindsofmoms.com
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it’s cold outside… baby,

photo: rialee photography | ria czichotzki
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A few steps ahead

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500-54120-0151 1/13

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