ATTACHMENT STYLES IN ADULTS Attachment styles have been extended to include certain attachment styles in adulthood that strongly affect their intimate relationships throughout life. The four different attachment styles seen in adults roughly correspond to those of infant attachment styles. The securely attached adult has a positive view of himself and of his partner. Intimacy is comfortable and balances with independence. There is a feeling of competence and the perception of the ability to control one’s environment. This is a person who feels that they can meet relationship challenges in the future. Communication with the partner is diverse in the different topics that are talked about and the relationship provides a secure base the adult can depend upon. The anxious-preoccupied adult needs a high level of intimacy along with a need for approval and responsiveness from their romantic partner. Becoming overly dependent can be an issue. The views the person has of themselves and their partner is less positive and there is more impulsiveness and worrying about the relationship. This would be an adult who had anxious-ambivalent attachment in childhood. Self-sabotage can happen in the relationship and the relationship can be anxiety-provoking. The person with this attachment style often looks for a dismissive-avoidant partner. The dismissive-avoidant adult is highly focused on independence and appears to avoid attachment. They feel self-sufficient and don’t think they need close relationships. Feelings are often suppressed and conflict is dealt with by distancing themselves from their partner. They often have a poor opinion of their partner and have a distinct lack of interest in having intimacy with others. They do not believe that another person can support them emotionally and invest greatly on their accomplishments. Their selfesteem depends on their level of competence rather than on social acceptance. Relationships that are getting too close are often avoided; they are dismissive of positive feedback from their peers. The ultimate goal is to avoid potential rejection. Fearful=avoidant adults are mixed in their feelings about clos relationships. They see themselves as unworthy of close and intimate relationships, even though they desire
57
