EM Magazine 2020

the uk’s exclusive model & talent publication est 2007

MAGAZINE Winter 2020/21

when the world turned upside down

creative innovation

STEPPED & we want to say UP! Thank you!

&

BEAUTY GIFT LIST tried and tested

by EM Magazine

A lockdown letter

to my girls

by Fay L. Hill

EMG Kids

STAY AT HOME & paint the rainbow

2020

THE YEAR

OUR LIVES

CHANGED FOREVER

ZINE

Winter 2020 EM MAGAZINE THE FIRST AND EXCLUSIVE TALENT INDUSTRY PUBLICATION IN THE UK

Front cover image Model Lydia Deane Photography by Ruthie Deane Assisted by Nigel Hunter Location Home in Lockdown

Photographers & image credits Alessandra Davidson, Jeroen den Otter, Leo Wieling, Nigel Hunter, Paul Wilson, Ruthie Deane, Sam McGhee, ITV, BBC Pictures, Michelle Wilson-Stimson

Editorial & production Editor: Ruth Deane Tel: 07980 733241 info@emgm.uk Sub Editor: Nigel Hunter info@emgm.uk PR: info@emgm.uk Tel: 07980733241

4 life in lockdown

22 re-emergence

8 emg kids stay at home

26 quarantine

12 television stepped up

28 winter

Ruthie Deane

Drawings & pictures

Visit us online at

www.emgm.uk

Kobi Kenton’s diary

Thank you to all creatives! Beauty & Gift list 18 Never Before

Daniel Coll

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36 tough times

Ruth Botha

38 acting & opera

Rosalind Plowright 42 a letter to my girls

Fay L. Hill

50 pedal pawn

Business in 2020

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Design: Model Media Ltd info@emgm.uk Advertising: Model Media Ltd info@emgm.uk EM Online: Model Media Ltd Publishers: Model Media Ltd Tel: 07980 733241 Email: info@emgm.uk Š EM Magazine is published by Model Media Ltd. Copyright: EM Magazine, Model Media Ltd. Reproduction of any part is prohibited except by prior written permission of the publishers. The contents are considered accurate at the time of printing and we cannot accept liability for omissions, errors, or loss of materials. Opinions expressed by contributors are not necessarily endorsed

by EM Magazine including copy and artwork provided by advertisers. All competitions and free gifts are run in conjunction with independent suppliers and fulfilment of the prize rests with the prize donor with no alternative provided by the owners of EM Magazine or Model Media Ltd should the donor fail to honour the related prize.

Cheryl Hughes

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28 14

editor’s final note

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@ruthiedeane

his has been a year like no other we have ever experienced. At the time of writing this I am on full UK lockdown with my two children and partner Nigel. We are currently waiting for an update from the PM, Boris Johnson, which is scheduled for 7pm this evening. For the past six weeks we have not left the house. Our story is in more detail on pages 4 to 7.

As every single one of us has been affected by this global emergency in one way or another, I couldn’t let the time pass without offering up the pages of EM Magazine to the people we know and love in order to document this time.

We hope that in years to come everyone involved in this edition, along with our amazing readers, will be able to refer to it as a source of clarity, reflection and accurate recording of what has been an unprecedented time for us all.

A few months on from writing these first few paragraphs the long term effects of the deadly virus is starting to show. It is with huge sadness that I have to announce that this will be the last ever edition of EM Magazine.

COVID-19 has destroyed so much

for all of us. We know like many other businesses that this dreadful time has not been without sacrifice or loss. For us this is that of our beloved magazine. But it is not a loss of life as it has been for so many and for that we are very thankful.

As always we are proud to support a charity in each edition of EM Magazine.

We are all aware of the increase of domestic abuse in 2020 and have therefore given our support to the amazing organisation, Refuge - see below and back cover.

So please enjoy our final edition. We will treasure it, your stories, the time and support you have given us. Thank you to so many of you. I will forget some names I am sure but special thanks to those who have been involved over the years including Cheryl Hughes, Kat Simpson, Fay Hill, Alan Strutt, Laura Coleman, Michelle WilsonStimson, Maria Lynch, Isabella Lombardini, Jennie Lee, Yui Yu, Abby Russell, Bonnie at Bonnie & Betty, Maggie at OKAY, Kate Solomons, Karen Karmody, Dave Wise, Alize Mounter, my children and my partner Nigel. Without all of you and many more who have been involved with our much loved EM Magazine, we would not have shared these past thirteen years together.

EM Magazine 2007 - 2020 with love,

Ruthie Deane

Refuge is a charity registered in England and Wales (277424)

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4

when our whole world turned upside down

Life During

LOCKDOWN @ruthiedeane

O

Photography & words by Ruthie Deane Assisted by Lydia Deane Location at home on lockdown written in March, April & May 2020

n Monday March 23rd, the UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, told the nation to lockdown, stay at home, protect the NHS and save lives. He said we would all likely lose someone as a result of a highly contagious disease rapidly spreading across the world, called Coronavirus.

What it actually meant for us all wasn’t really clear that evening but would steadily become a reality during the coming days and weeks.

In shocked reminiscence of what I had always imagined listening to an announcement of war huddled around a radio would have been like, I sat down in slow motion staring at the TV screen.

I was choked with the enormity of what was being said, but equally attempting not to show any distress in front of my children being the typical British girl that I am. Muttering closed sentences along the lines of “It will all be fine” and “Let’s keep it in perspective” at the same time as feeling an urge stronger than I have ever known to burst into tears and grab the nearest bottle of wine.

What did this actually mean? My first thoughts were for my children.

My son, a chronic asthmatic, being a huge worry. This virus we were told attacked the respiratory system with malice. My boy, often hospitalised for common colds that his already vulnerable chest has never been able to cope with. How on earth would he survive this? Panic well and truly set in.

We knew from the week prior that this was imminent. It was all rather surreal and almost a bit of a drama we thought might just go away perhaps? With not one of us having any experience of something like this, how could we possibly immediately feel that it was real? We knew, but somehow didn’t, that it was though.

But all the people stockpiling and taking food and supplies from the vulnerable.

They were all irrational right? I hadn’t stockpiled. I didn’t have enough loo roll, or pasta, or soap! What was I supposed to do with two children and virtually no essential supplies? I was one of the, I hope, considerate shoppers who stood aghast at the queues of

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overloaded trollies, bursting with hand sanitiser, rice and roll upon roll of toilet paper. Only to be faced soon enough with completely empty shelves and the fear that there was not enough of anything to go around. More and more panic set in.

My work, income, our livelihood. What is to become of us? My photography arm stopped immediately. Literally overnight. I can’t shoot without people and leaving the house isn’t allowed. So that’s a 100% no go.

people to work safely, a way forwards would seemingly be impossible.

Weeks spent establishing furlough or universal credit payments. Wondering how on earth to keep a business running.

Home schooling, university student sitting, partner motivating and heaps of Facetime communication with estranged loved ones. Keeping sane at the same time as finding toilet rolls and soap online without having to pay insane prices for them. Not to mention the many failed late night attempts to gain a supermarket delivery slot.

Finally I was able to register my son as vulnerable which allowed us to get food delivered. This was an incomparable relief like I have never known. For me walking into a supermarket was a potential death threat for my child. My anxiety levels were beyond measure. I am not ashamed to say that I really couldn’t cope for a while there. For those of you who know where we live, it isn’t exactly best placed to go shopping for anything anyway, let alone in a global pandemic. Hours upon hours I spent trawling the internet looking for The actors at EMG in theatre productions anyone who could deliver us something. were the first to hit the full stop button a A vegetable box maybe? But everywhere few days before official lockdown. We were was fully booked, not taking on new so sad for them not being able to complete customers, charging insane prices or not such stunning productions they had all able to deliver to our area. Before we were worked so hard for. We must thank all of the granted the delivery slots by supermarkets production companies, the National Theatre we did find a local farm shop who offered and everyone who has been so supportive. a click and collect service. This was an Our wonderful actors and models all absolute blessing but it was probably more booked for roles and jobs that were either than four times more expensive than our cancelled or postponed overnight with usual supermarket. With no income now theatre closures being our advanced coming in, this was not sustainable. warning of what was soon to follow.

One of the most terrifying moments It became very apparent that no ‘normal’ for me as a mother was visiting the or ‘as we know it’ work in our industry local chemist to collect my son’s asthma was going to be able to take place. Some medication. The pharmacist looked at me incredibly innovative options started and said, ‘I am so sorry but we are out of to stream our television screens seeing stock of all inhalers and we aren’t going some household names keep us up to to be getting any more in. People who date. But the actuality of the situation haven’t needed an inhaler for years have being, until there is a method allowing been stocking up we think. It is a terrible 6

situation’. I almost passed out there and then. It was absolutely too much to deal with. My son needs his medication to survive day to day. This wasn’t a ‘just in case’ prescription. This is life or death.

Now what? Thankfully we found another chemist with them in stock but the worry for future prescriptions now well and truly in the forefront of my mind.

Giving up my quota of toilet roll for my son’s medication is fine with me. Please let there be enough for him, please!

What were we going to do with ourselves? I was very conscious that this was also precious time given to us that so many people appeared to be using ‘wisely’. Baking bread, making ingenious things out of stuff around the house with their children. Obviously I helped mine with school work and anything they needed. But getting creative was the last thing my anxiety levels could handle. Getting through the day any way I could without crumbling to the floor was my aim. And that started to make me feel guilty. But thanks to friends and family I think we all realised that this wasn’t the time for competition.

We needed to be kind to ourselves.

We were insanely blessed with some very out of season sunny weather during April which really helped to lift our spirits.

And on one of our ‘one allowed exercise a day’ dog walks I wrote a song in my head to a standard blues riff my son had played earlier in the day for giggles.

My creativity, albeit a tad cheesy, was glimmering through a veil of despondence.

I knew I had to write it down and involve the boys. Nigel the bass line and and George on guitar. An accutely basic piano track and some interesting vocals from me and we had a little piece of something that filled our time, generated smiles and allowed us a moment to breathe. The video was fun too. I promise that it was actually water in the brandy glass! But it seemed to echo so many lives, and a

“For me walking into a supermarket was a potential death threat for my child.” million memes of drinking from 9am. So the inner Patsy in me was set free for a couple of days to film it. You can see the end result yourself on YouTube here https://youtu.be/KlMV59QwU6g. Lydia provided us all with her calming influence.

She at the tender age of 14 seems to take everything in her stride, baking cakes, schoolwork and performing the ‘splits’ to camera on request. Happy times to remember in the face of such adversity.

On the 10th May we sat waiting patiently and in earnest for Boris Johnson to deliver a speech suggesting a way out of lockdown for the UK. So what we heard was, you can go out, but only if you have to. You can go to work, but only if you can’t work from home. The new message was not clear at all. It shifted from STAY HOME to STAY ALERT. But what did that mean? Confusion across the nation left the sensible of us remaining exactly as we were. Still not really with any clarity we did start to see a much needed ray of hope to begin our new lives as soon as humanly possible.

At the time of writing this I am not back behind my camera for clients.

I am attempting to put together a workable option to conform to our new world. Safety first being our global priority. I hope beyond hope that by the time this appears in print, we have all found a way. A new, better and sustainable way for the greater good.

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the kids at emg thank our nhs & frontline workers with their many

RAINBOWS

we are stronger together Thank you!

iblings lented s super tai & isla-may kob

er super S H s ha r e s h willow bow for the N in heart ra

Background photography by Cory Woodward

m h his mu clint witsister d n a

e her homawing outside amy lee her rainbow dr g to pointin

ow on he rainb paints ting lockdown r e m m u s se dur her hou

l p e r co o e ars a su niki, we k to prevent th face masof coronavirus spead

The Mitton sisters, bottom left, exercising and keeping up with practice time.

To the right they get creative with a home made boat. Below middle left is Rodrigo sharing his drawings with us. Middle image is by Alexandre, age 7.

Bottom right is Laila, the daughter of a keyworker for the NHS! Below middle is a burst of creative colour by 2 year old Amanda! Top three images feature EMG’s Yui and her daughter Amanda and their home Yoga workout.

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! u o y k n a h T NHS

& ALL FRONTLINE WORKERS

When the world shut down the kids at EMG joined the millions of others in their support for our key workers. Blessed with amazing weather, creative innovation, and a wonderful chance to spend time together, we share with you some of our younger people’s drawings and rainbows.

Background photography by Stainless Images

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Photo by @katherinemcphotography

we want you to know how grateful we are.

THANK YOU!

BBC Hospital Special: Fighting Covid-19 Aired in May 2020 Image Credit: BBC/Label1/Daniel Dewsbury 12

what the television industry brought to us in our time of crisis

Creative innovation ON SCREEN IN

LOCKDOWN

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Isolation Stories

E

vident almost immediately was the concern on all levels of how future material was going to be created. equally we needed to see what was happening in the outside world now more than ever. but would that mean risking people’s lives to bring us that information? we followed some amazing productions from news, documenteries and drama created entirely in isolation.

A BBC Hospital special Fighting COVID-19 started airing in May. Following staff working on the NHS frontline tackling the virus. The picture on the previous page shows Marta Campbell Consultant Anaesthetist at the Royal Free Hospital. An eye opening and vivid look into what working on the frontline really entails. Definietly worth a look on iPlayer if you didn’t see it.

Our favourite productions were the four short dramas starring Sheridan Smith, Robert and Tom Glenister, Eddie 14

Marsan, Angela Griffin, DarrenBoyd, David Threlfall, Michael Jibson, Leanne Best and Philip Jackson filmed entirely in the actors homes.

Produced by Oscar nominated writer and producer Jeff Pope this was the innovation we really needed to see.

Isolation Stories was filmed observing strict rules of lockdown with actors and their families filming the scenes themselves, watched remotely by the directors. Each of the directors - Paul Whittington, Paul Andrew Williams, Louise Hooper

and David Blair watched footage via their laptops giving advice to the actors and their family members about camera positioning, scene composition and lighting as they recorded the scenes. And the result was astonishing, moving, engaging and offered a much needed ray of hope to actors and our industry.

The making of such strong drama in extreme circumstances in such a short space of time has inspired us all. Thank you to this incredible team of talent for sharing this with us.

Images with thanks to ITV

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STAGED

based on an original idea by simon evans and phin glynn, staged was written and directed by simon evans for bbc one.

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his increidbly innovative series takes on the challenges of creating a drama in lockdown, on stage and off. Georgia Tennant, Lucy Eaton and Anna Lundberg along with special guests including Nina Sosanya and Dame Judy Dench this was a must see series. An insanely talented line-up gave us the absolute privilege of seeing these masters at work. For us it was a bit like watching the best self-tapes EVER! Starring David Tennant and Michael Sheen, or should that be the other way around... they play exagerated

versions of themselves in lockdown. The chemistry between these two brilliant actors is immediately evident during their daily video communication. And it works! Just at the point we were all so OVER virtual meetings and pixilated rectangles on our screens, Staged showed us how it could be done.

An extraordinary blend of humour, reality, emotional suffering and inflated egos, had us gripped from begining to end by the combined skill and talent in this cleverly written and directed production.

Thank you to everyone involved. You made us laugh, cry, reflect, project and most of all, you gave us hope.

If you didn’t see it, then make a point of downloading from BBC iplayer now.

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Photo by Nigel Hunter

Never Before 10-05-2020

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aniel coll is an actor, presenter, producer, director and founder of killion films. as an actor his recent film work includes the lead in two miles under, jim in jo brand's the more you ignore me, yarwood in northern soul and phil in the happiness of larry. on tv he is better known as di blackmore in emmerdale and trevor brains in eastenders. he has also appeared in guest roles for coronation street, where the heart is, heartbeat, always and everyone and waterloo road.​his work in london's west end includes dan alongside tim healy in the original cast of billy elliot at thevictoria palace london, joly in les misÊrables at the palace theatre london, toad in wind in the willows at the vaudeville london and giuseppe in wonderful town at the queens theatre london. represented by emg management daniel graciously shares with us his experience during lockdown, contracting covid-19, and most importantly, surviving the deadly virus.

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Writing is new to me, something I have ‘never before’ attempted. I am, like most actors, a muscle, a body, a soul and mind by nature more used to operating with other people’s words.

Actors need a canvas: a painter most of the time directed and poured forth by others. So, when we are removed from our normal arena of work it is hard to maintain motivation and fill the creative void.

Added to this, like many others in the freelance gig economy, our financial tap so often little more than a trickle under normal circumstances, seems to have become bone dry overnight.

Living on my own I find emotionally I am constantly dipping and diving into joy, sadness, anger, and tears.

Uninvited memories and thoughts seem to fill some of my current void.

Coupled with that I then began a very real struggle for a while on my own after contracting the virus myself having caught it just before lockdown.

COVID-19 is a nightmare journey full of so many changing symptoms; headache, runny nose, cough, body aches, unimaginable tiredness followed by a sudden break of a few days when I feel perfectly normal again - then BAM! I am hit with total exhaustion, profoundly troubling emotions (it got right into my head) together with breathing dfficulties. This was deeply worrying, and I thought at one point I might not quite make it through.

My agent, some family members and friends provide amazing support as they contact me each day, and after talking with my GP I struggle through and improve but somewhat changed in my mindset: the virus has changed us all in some way I guess.

My main issue is not seeing my daughter AT ALL as I am separated from her mother. The virtual world brings temporary respite with a Skype call but as I reach to touch her face, I feel the cold bite of the mocking screen reminding me not to get too engaged in this unreality. I so long to touch, smell, and hug her and tell her how I love her.

OH JUST ONE BIG HUG! Not possible, so we cheerfully say goodbye for now, the screen goes dark and the involuntary pearl of water floats down my cheek.

A few minutes of realisation float by, time standing still as I sit in a dumb ache.

“PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER – YOU PRAT” I hear myself shouting “SORT YOURSELF OUT”. I wonder what the neighbours on both sides will think hearing me through the thin walls of my tiny flat.

I wonder if my bouts of insanity will continue when the white coated men arrive: I decide to go for my daily walk to escape myself.

Peering through the peephole in my flat door I see the coast is clear of embarrassment and head out swiftly into the warm air.

My walk today starts in the park - mistake! It’s full of joggers, skate boarders and cyclists who seem to think that social distancing is scaring the hell out of passers-by: appearing to be doing it right but going just too close, filling the walker with fear. I see old people pull back as these mobile miscreants pass perilously close.

Being a Yorkshire terrier of an age when one becomes more vocal, I find myself using my vocal skills “Do not come quite so close please! Would you keep a little more distance please?

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Can you move more over there?” pointing manically towards the other side of the path “PLEASE!” My dulcet tones seem to fall on deaf ears, focussed as they are on their own self-worth and athletic skills. They live in a bubble. I guess many of us are living in bubbles in this strange lockdown world.

“i thought at one point i might not quite make it through.”

I return to my solitary flat with a better head and see a message from my agent: an audition, a voice over. Like so many other actors I am trying to find ways to adapt in this new shaped world never before needed. I have installed a small recording studio (partly in a cupboard) and learnt new skills. I am now able to record, mix and make tracks that I can send to companies anywhere in the world. Connected, but totally unconnected, I send off the wav file and wait for the word.

As I write I also find that other auditions have followed, all done remotely. I prop up my computer on books, point its internal camera, connect the mic, and become both camera, sound, director, and editor as well as actor in my own secret film set.

It takes time to adjust, but it is worth persisting with: a quick learning curve that tests and develops new necessary skills.

In many ways this period of lockdown has moved us forward and I find that there are great positives. Mastering these new skills will in future cut down on so much unneeded travelling and I feel improve overall the way we all do work in the business.

Directors, actors, casting directors, agents can all connect and make decisions virtually, at least in the earlier stages. This is a good thing for actors

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in the main as it will save us a huge amount of time and money. So I decide to embrace the benefits and master the skill. Thank goodness for YouTube, a wonderful tool where help is always at hand as I master Zoom, editing, sound recording and other such tools.

Many people in the industry are quite pessimistic about the future but I take the other view. Artists are incredibly good at adapting and the whole industry will recover as it finds new innovative ways to do theatre, film, tv, radio and other media. It will all take time, new skills, and effort but nothing comes easy in the arts, nor should it I decide.

Audition done and another day I find myself on another walk, this time in the woods, a respite of nature with very few people. The birds are tweeting and chatting louder than I have ever heard them before. They appear to be having a wonderful party as if they know that we humans are no longer in control.

Glorious singing and then I see the colours of the bluebells smiling through. It is going to be OK they smile - nature brings peace and I breathe, allowing myself to calm, relax and stand and stare in awe at the beauty all around.

“artists are incredibly good at adapting and the whole industry will recover�

Families seem closer than normal and children appear to be enjoying the respite from school as they cycle past in a group. The sun is warm, and a clear blue sky offers up more hope.

Life is a state of flux I decide, in constant shifting, changing, undefinable and uncontrollable patterns. We can choose to move with it or not, so I breathe and prepare for my new day, allowing myself a small smile as I wanderPhoto backbytoLeomy flat alone.

Wieling on Unsplash 21

These unusual times are totally changing the face of every industry and sadly modelling, beauty and fashion are not exempt from this.

Cheryl Hughes

My love affair with modelling started when I was six years old when a lady called Pat Burke who owned a children's fashion shop in Australia asked my mother if I could model some clothes in a seasonal fashion show. My mum said yes and instantly my total love for modelling began and still lasts to this day.

Looking back over the years I enjoyed achieving every milestone.

I started my working life as a school teacher but I was head hunted by the June Dally Watkins School of Deportment & Grooming in Australia to teach for them and model for their agency. Woo hoo, already I was taking the first step in my ‘Life Plan’ direction!

a positive re-emergence beckons...

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I absolutely adored it and after some years the opportunity came for me to start my own model training academy & agency in Brisbane. This career found me working for June Dally in Hong Kong, Barbizon in New York, John Robert Powers in San Francisco and The London Academy of Modelling in Bond Street which I ran for two years until it closed due to huge rental increases by the Bond Street Traders Association in the early 1980's. I was then offered the job of starting and managing a Classic Division for International Model Agency in London's West End. This led me to observing a gap in the market for larger sized models and so I created Hughes Models to fill the void. It was the birth of the first model agency worldwide to specialise in plus size models and the beginning of a totally new trend in the world of

modelling. It soon became the first and foremost plus size agency in the EU and remained so until I sold it seven years ago. Now almost every agency worldwide has their own curve division and it still continues to be a powerful influence on fashion today.

Since then I have worked as a Consultant with EMG. I have so enjoyed working with Ruth, meeting and working with so many of you to launch your careers into the modelling world which I love so much.

As I mentioned earlier, It is with some sadness that, in my opinion, we have all come to the end of an era. The coronavirus pandemic is unprecedented and in no uncertain terms a huge ‘wake up call’. It will change all of our lives.

However, I must also say it is with huge excitement that I look forward to the future. What next?

That is really down to all of us.

We all need to work together now to orchestrate a very positive re emergence! Just a few months ago none of us would have believed we would all be a part of making history.

Our world had in many ways become a place of excess, in waste, pollution, cruelty,selfishness, greed, decline in all things nature, birds, animals, insects etc and of course including water and food… the list just goes on.

“i must say it is with huge excitement that i look forward to the future. what next? ”

It would be lovely now to reemerge from this pandemic having seriously thought about our real values and how we will achieve them.

To Quote Anna Wintour (Editor of Vogue NY) who said “But what will that re-emergence look like? I think we’ve all gotten past the idea 23

that life will simply snap back to normal. Our economy is struggling in profound ways and will be struggling for some time to come.

As all the scientists tell us, this virus will not simply disappear.

So, we must change as we reemerge. We must adapt. We have to. And I hope that change will be positive, that we will re-emerge thinking about what is meaningful in our lives. Will we be more practical? When it comes to fashion, will we want more of a uniform?

Or will we be more creative and expressive than ever? We’re talking about this a lot at Vogue.”

“as an industry it needs to change and suggestions on how they can make it less polluting and more sustainable.”

I personally have been reading some fantastic literature coming out of the fashion industry, with amazing suggestions how as an industry it needs to change and suggestions on how they can make it less polluting and more sustainable. Things like showing their collections digitally and of course the choices of the fashion industry will have huge impact on modelling, as will changes in the beauty industry. What does come across very clearly is they do not intend to go back to previous bad practise.

Gucci’s Alessandro Michele on what comes next: “We will go back to life. But, I hope, to a different life” We have all had to adapt and rethink our lives during Lockdown.

I for one have actually loved it. It is the first time in my life when I have had absolutely no set commitments!

For me this has been so refreshing and what I’ve done has been so much fun.We have built a gorgeous

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little rose arbour. For twenty years it sat tucked away in the corner of the garage as one of those jobs, as we Aussies would say, for Ron! Yet here it is completed in a matter of a few weeks (see left).

The weirdest thing was when our very inventive Chiropodist said she was not cancelling our appointment because she could totally comply with all the restrictions and do our appointment OUTSIDE. Well here we are (see right). Unbelievable!

We are now planting up our kitchen garden (another job that was previously for Ron) We hope to work over the next few years to be totally self sufficient. The list of jobs goes on and I never thought I’d get such enjoyment out of it.

For me after the re-emergence?

I am a wife, a Mum and also a Grandmother and am filled with excitement reading all the positive articles emerging every day about how we can change the way we all live and in return create a world that will be able to support the human race for generations to come. A complete rethink!

Even more exciting, during the Lockdown, I have hatched a new business idea which I know will be of benefit for people of all ages to move forward easily and positively and to cope with the changes in the industry after the re–emergence. Watch this space!

“i am filled with excitement reading positive articles emerging every day about how we can change the way we all live ”

As temporary custodians of this gorgeous planet on which we live I hope we can all give it our BEST SHOT! Let’s make 2020 go down in History as a truly remarkable Year.

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My quarantine diar friday 8th may

to decorate the Today is VE day and we have decided n garden party. dow lock front of the house and have a in history day ive mass a is this as ed I woke up excit rate this celeb to and our daily routine. We were able joyful very feel I rs. hbou neig our from a distance with d playe I n. dow at this time considering we are in lock es. danc OK TIKT e som e with my sister and mad

saturday 9th may

down I woke Today was a normal-boring day of lock work, oops ol scho up at 9:30 thinking I have to do ing for me relax of day A ! rday no I don’t it’s Satu on the Xbox ing Play do. can I else h muc not y toda this day pass. and talking to friends really helped

sunday 10th may

akfast ready for a cooked a really good bre 10am start for me, mum’s e nature but instead We are hoping to see som long walk in the woods. dad in the face. We and me ng flies keep hitting some nasty big slow flyi a nice surprise. in the woods which was found a really nice camp Johnsons ris Bo time time to listen to It’s a rush to get home in to go back to e abl be ht mig I lly he tells us announcement and fina with emotion xed e would never come! Mi school. I thought this tim excitement h wit ing eam scr nd the house me and my sister ran rou ! I then safe it’s l have to see make sure ay? then mum drops…we wil aw go us vir s thi l pen. When wil realised it may never hap

monday 11th may

t well. I watched my school work which wen Up early to log on to do daily run. I am my for played then went a bit of Disney plus and keeping me fit is day ry eve g nin ll so run really missing my footba am I missing y onl t g for my team again. No and I hope to start playin tball friends. foo my of all ing sing see playing football I’m mis

tuesday 12th may

er lockdown day ool work to do as any oth Another day and more sch orrow and I was tom ay thd bir It is my mum’s (most of them anyway). n with my siste sio Well after a bit of discus contemplating what to do. m proud. mu our ke ma l A plan that wil we came up with a plan!

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ry of this crazy time wednesday 13th may

ause it Today was a great day bec thday bir l cia spe y ver es eon was som an had We . ay) thd (mum’s bir we had end the at and day e awesom theatre. made a homemade movie

y

y s er

thursday 14th may

for me. Same Today was a casual day daily run routine but today on my me is quite to ich wh p we did one sto NHS and for impressive. I always clap 8pm at ay rsd Thu a Key Workers on a key worker is d Da My ily. fam my with thank you. so it’s important we say

leaving year 6 will go down in history for kobi, just as it will for everyone in education during 2020. read kobi’s diary and see what life for an 11 year old was like in lockdown.

Image left Kobi’s professional acting headshot. Far right top, Kobi’s last day at primary school. Middle, Kobi and his sister Isla-May outside their house during lockdown. Far left, drawing chalk rainbows to support the NHS.

thanks Background Image with

to Peter Olexa

by kobi kent on, age 11

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winter

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Beauty &G i f t List

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Limited edition make-up bags are a stylish solution for storing lots of products. They can be personalised with a initial charm pendant. making it a perfect gift for the beauty lover.

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“Pink for Christmas....?

Y ES P LE

ASE!

Ruth Botha tough times words by Ruth Botha photography by Ruth Deane

Lockdown has been a surreal experience that often I think is not real.

When Boris announced the lockdown on the 23rd March, I panicked. I suffer from ADHD so I am the queen of overthinking!

The first week I felt very restless like I was in constant flight or fight mode.

Some of my friends and family felt the same. I have suffered from anxiety and depression on and off over the years.

So I had to put a plan into place and stick by it. This consisted of getting into a routine and keeping busy. I own an online meat business so do some work from home. It is a very small business, so I only used to work part time. But since the lockdown sales have increased a lot which it has thankfully taken up a lot of my time.

My son is fifteen and in year eleven so should be sitting his GCSE examinations. The week before 38

lockdown he was unwell so he didn’t get to say goodbye to his friends. They were all looking forward to the prom and now that has been cancelled too. I really feel for him and worry about his future.

My son has autism and doesn’t show his emotions much. During lockdown he has coped extremely well.

My best friend has autism and she is the same. In a crisis a lot of autistic people cope well and appear to be quite bulletproof. We have been told he will be getting his predicted grades as a GCSE result. Personally, I don’t think this is fair. My son was going through a difficult time when they were sitting their mocks. He said that he would have tried much harder during the GCSE exams. We had also invested in a tutor to help him through his exams. But now I feel he will never get that chance and his GCSE results will determine if he gets into college. So I have been worrying about that a lot.

I have enjoyed our time together and with my husband who has been off work for the whole of lockdown. He is a self employed carpenter so has not been able to work or get paid during lockdown. Luckily we have always been savers and put money away so have been able to pay our mortgage where I know many people are struggling. It is such a worrying time for everyone.

Especially on the mental health side.

I know people who have developed anxiety and depression who have never had it before.

Some days can be a real struggle for me and social media definitely plays a big part in that. You start comparing yourself to others. Even getting a little bit envious as people are doing exercise routines, learning new things. As a model my influencer work is a big part of my job. But I haven’t felt like posting on my Instagram. It has taken a huge effort to get dressed up and do my hair and make-up. I really have to be in the right mood and I have felt extremely tired in the afternoon with zero energy.

I see other models posting daily and don’t know how they can keep it up. But we are all different.

I do a lot of baking which I find very therapeutic. I bake for neighbours and leave cakes etc on their doorstep.

Which they have told me cheers them up. I have also baked cakes and sent to family and friends.

I also make meals once a week for my local ambulance service. Which I really enjoy doing. I donate the meals for free from the business. I have held a raffle on my Facebook page and raised £250 which will go towards the meals I make.

The hardest thing for me is not seeing my parents who live 40 minutes from me. My dad has cancer and

finished chemotherapy just before the lockdown. My mum has had cancer and is thankfully all clear now but is still in the vulnerable group as she takes immunosuppressant medication and has other medical conditions. They have to shield until told otherwise. Luckily we have zoom so can still see each other. But it’s been hard not being able to offer emotional support. Especially when you don’t know how long this will go on for. My dad’s cancer isn’t curable, so time is precious. I feel for my sister who lives in London as she can’t go home to see them. My brother has been furloughed from his job so it’s hard for him too.

Will the world ever go back to normal? I don’t know but I am hoping people will come out of this with a lot more compassion and kindness for others.

Stay Safe!

“i am hoping people will come out of this with a lot more compassion and kindness for others.”

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Rosalind

Plowright OBE

I

have always wanted to act! From my earliest days, our house was filled with music, fun and laughter orchestrated by my father, Bob Plowright. He was a full-time shoe shop manager and a part time jazz musician banding on the weekends. As I grew up, he would have me listen to and sing all the standards in my girlish treble. Late one evening, we returning from the Cheltenham Amateur Dramatic’s performance of The Mikado, and I jokingly imitated Katisha’s voice and suddenly this huge operatic sound gushed forth.

This caused my father (who had been playing double bass in the orchestra) to almost swerve off the road.

From then on, I was encouraged to use this sound and although Dad wanted me to be the next Ella Fitzgerald my wise mother went out and bought me three records of Joan Sutherland, Renate Tebaldi and the greatest of all, my idol, Maria Callas. It was clear to me that I had an instrument

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that might lead me to acting.

The world of Grand Opera is completely different to that of the stage.

Acting is one part and very different to the type of acting required by TV, the stage or film. The reason for this is that in a play or movie you can say the words, “I love you” and you need to covey the intensity of the moment in the time it takes you to say it. In opera, we can spend five minutes saying “T’amo” and the music takes you to the very heights of passion and emotion and so the acting has to last that long.

My success in 1979 at the top opera competition at that time, led me to an international career in opera. I performed at pretty well every great

opera house around the world, recorded with the major opera recording companies, performed at Covent Garden with all three tenors and won quite a few awards including a “Larry” back in 1980. Opportunities to perform in straight drama were few and far between and when I did get asked, I was usually too booked to be able to say yes.

There were three exceptions to this.

The BBC asked me to play Grace Vosper, an opera diva, in an episode of House of Eliott and Granada TV asked me to play another diva, Hermione Harefield, in their three part mini-series of Jilly Cooper’s The Man who made Husbands Jealous.

In 1999 when I made the difficult

Pictured right, the Countess in Tchaikovsky’s Queen of Spades Photography

by Fritz Curzon.

Above left, the old Baroness in Samuel Barber’s, Vanessa, which won the 2020 BBC Music Magazine DVD Award. Photography

by Tristram Kenton.

Below left, Actress headshot

by Ruthie Deane

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decision to switch voice type from soprano to mezzo, pretty well all my work dried up and it was as though I had to prove myself all over again to the opera world. So in 2000, with time on my hands, I looked again to the world of straight acting and found a wonderful play for two people and two pianists called Two’s a Crowd and with the help of The Reduced Shakespeare Company’s actor John Pohlhammer we toured this show to five theatres and received three 5* reviews.

Then my mezzo career took-off and chances to act were once again confined to the stylised form of opera.

The outbreak of Covid 19 changed everything for the entire world of entertainment. Without wishing to dwell on the challenges that theatre and opera face while audiences evaporated and social distancing is required by

“the outbreak of Covid-19 changed every thing for the entire world of entertainment.”

law, our world has all but disappeared.

My husband, Tony, a pretty amazing motivational coach, has told me that you can be a victim of circumstance or a hero. Perhaps this was the time to devote some time to acting.

I joined a number of extras and small parts sites like Universal Extras and Star Now and started applying for anything and everything. I landed a few unpaid student productions, voiceovers, and even a small silent film. I found myself, doing take after take of voiceovers at home until I was ready to email them to the directors.

Some of these started to write nice things on my profile pages. Then, I noticed an agent looking for “new faces” so, in for a penny ... I applied.

EMG Management, based in Peterborough, put me through a very intense, online audition procedure.

They required two contrasting monologues, an array of accents, a biography and I had to be on Spotlight (which I wasn’t). All of these I worked on until I was satisfied and, learning how to use “One Drive”, I emailed them off certain to never hear from EMG again. In fact they were back in a flash asking me to video the two monologues. I turned to Jonathan Slinger, a great Shakespearean actor and friend, to help me perfect Lady Bracknell and Lancastrian lady monologue. His coaching was an inspiration and it must have been spot on as EMG offered me a contract within two hours of receiving the videos.

So where does this leave me today?

An excited actress waiting to make her mark on the world of TV, Theatre and Film if casting directors will entertain a newcomer just turned 70 with a stellar opera career behind her and an acting career in front. Uncharted territory I think, but we shall see. After all, if you do nothing, nothing happens.

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A letter to my girls words & pictures by Fay L Hill

My gorgeous girls, You often hear people say, ‘Your life will never be the same again’, but what if someone told you, ‘Your life will never be the same again, for four months’?…

2020 was the year we all had such high hopes for, never did we foresee what was going to happen come March. Schools, businesses, hairdressers, swing parks, restaurants, bars, and our beloved TK Maxx all closed with no idea when they may reopen. And that was just the beginning. The worst part came when we were banned from seeing our family and friends.

I feel silly now for laughing at Auntie Andrea when she told me weeks before I needed to stock up on food because a pandemic was coming to the UK, and there will be a shortage for a while. I told her it’s usually me who’s the drama Queen, not her, and laughed as she made room for her bags of flour and pasta. It was only until I went shopping and saw the empty shelves with signs limiting everyone to one packet of toilet roll that I began to panic. Months later, I

long for the day when I can get a home delivery or just pop to the shop without the hassle of a social distancing queue around the car park. Gosh, just saying that makes me realise how much I took for granted.

They announced a three week lockdown on Mother’s Day, Sunday 22nd March.

It didn’t actually sink in what was going on until I woke up the next morning and was faced with our new reality. My work emails repeatedly said, ‘cancelled’, and Daddy’s working from home entailed a screen takeover of my kitchen table, and eggs and bacon for breakfast, not my preferred mess-free cereal. Immediately he was banished to the upstairs office, whilst I set about creating a lockdown agenda; if we were to survive this next three weeks then I needed some sort of system in place. Gosh I tried hard to keep you girlies entertained with inventing new activities, attempting and failing at baking (on the daily), discovering country trails, and homeschooling you as much as one can homeschool a 2 and 4 year old. But by week 7, the agenda was no more, and my brain switched off. I became mentally and physically tired. I lived for the weekends when Daddy wasn’t working.

I missed our family. I missed working.

I missed adult interaction. I missed earning money. I missed normality.

Despite loving all of the extra time I was spending with you both, I felt guilty for the moments when I was tired of playing dollies or watching Sleeping Beauty for the 199192632th time. I accepted years ago guilt comes with the territory of being a Mum, and therefore felt no shame in admitting I didn't feel like me. I realised although I wasn’t missing the pressure of working, I did really miss my job and the interaction.

To help, I decided to do what I was good at and get my camera out to start 45

46

taking photos again. As always, you two were my subjects, but then, thanks to the virtual photography World, I also began photographing models across the globe in their exotic home locations. My creative mind was free again and it felt good.

Amidst my ‘challenging’ moments, I was reminded my plights were nothing more than that of a spoilt brat when compared to the amazing women who sacrificed their days- some, their lives- with their children to fight on the NHS frontline.

I feared for the sanity of single Mums in high rise flats, who were struggling financially, let alone physically to entertain their children with nothing more than a brick wall for a view. And feared for the women and children who would be victim to increased domestic abuse. Thinking in this way quickly got me dusting myself off and starting again.

As the weeks went on, we began to adjust to the new now, and we made some beautiful memories. VE Day 75 stands out as being one of my favourites. I cried several times, and not just because I consumed a champagne or two, but because for the first time it really hit home how much fear and anxiety they must’ve felt during the war. Here we were struggling after a few weeks and yet our nation had to suffer for years. It was unthinkable. As I blasted out Vera Lynn’s, ‘We’ll Meet Again’, as well as Chaz and Dave’s, ‘London Girls’, we danced around the garden, and as a foursome, we celebrated the feeling of solidarity. That day the U.K. shone as bright as the Sun scorched the air. We were one.

I guess why I’m telling you all of this is because the Covid-19 pandemic taught me how quickly life can change, and how easy it is to take each other and life for granted. So I’m urging you not to. Whilst I cannot wait until the day we can hug and kiss, freely move around again, board a

plane without a mask, and literally cross paths without someone trying to avoid us, I’m equally a fan of our new, clean way of living, and particularly, having Daddy working from home. Normality and routine is very important for our healthy mind, but just as important is to stop and be forced to ‘just be’. To look at the skies and only see blue. To listen and only hear the sounds of birds. To embrace what’s on your doorstep. To look at a Vogue cover and see a real superhero looking back at you, instead of some filtered version of a narcissist. As you both grow up you’ll learn the two most important things in life are health and family. Without them, we are nothing.

Covid-19 took our freedom. It took our jobs. It took our education. In thousands of cases, it took lives, but it couldn’t take us. There were many little moments in lockdown when my heart felt so full just watching you both with Daddy. I was so grateful we had each other. And during those first weeks when I would wake early consumed with anxiety that one of us would get ill, I realised how much I had taken for granted, and the changes I would make moving forward.

Yes, I will return to work, but I will not let it consume me to the point of feeling burnt out. Yes, we will still take you both on extravagant adventures, but they will be outweighed by basic days of walking in the river and sharing a homemade sandwich in a field.

Sure I missed normality, but there were parts about lockdown I far preferred.

There are parts about lockdown I’m bringing with me in to our new normality.

I love you both forever,

Mummy xxxx 47

The EMG Guide on how to

self tape

As a busy agency EMG Management receives daily requests from casting teams and directors for Self Tapes. Now more than ever before it is essential artists know how to do this correctly.

S

elf taping has become not only more popular of late but utterly essential. Not only does this allow casting teams and clients the opportunity to see talent in an animated format almost immediately, but it further enables those based literally anywhere a chance they might not have had years ago. During lockdown this has been the only method of audition.

So what do you need to self tape?

A video camera - if you have one yes, but only if you know how to use it and have the time to upload and format it correctly. You will also definitely need 48

a computer with an internet connection for this option. We recommend using your smart-phone.

It’s quicker, easier and providing you do everything correctly can give more than adequate results. Remember this is a self tape NOT the actual film or project you may ultimately appear in!

You will need a good light source available. This does not have to be professional lighting. A well lit room (natural light is always our preferred option). The light source should be in front of you and not in shot. Don’t sit with a window behind you as this will create a silhouette effect which

is not what you want. You should also aim for a clear well lit and uncluttered background, preferably a plain wall.

No distractions are key for a successful

“Be sure to film in landscape, not portrait!” self tape. You want the viewer to see YOU and your skill, not your siblings, a pile of laundry or your neighbours alpaca! Well you know, it happens!

Words by Ruthie Deane

When you are filming on a phone, be aware that to maximise the audio quality you must be as close to the phone as you can. Ensure that background noise is kept to a minimum and the camera is set at eye-level. Nobody wants an up the nose or mostly at the ceiling view!

Film to the specific brief you are given always! They may ask for a close crop and / or a full body shot. Always do as you are asked to the letter! Turn off any appliances in the house that may make a noise. Unless the script requires it perhaps don’t use the word

Securing your smartphone or camera in a stable position is also really useful. A tripod is great but look around your home for alternative solutions!

Photo by Imraumanzug

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‘Alexa’ during your audition! Washing machines, other peoples phones etc, make sure they are off! Filming from too low down or high above is irritating for the viewer and does not allow an accurate view of you and your talent.

Be sure to film in landscape, not portrait! This means your phone must be on it’s side and not straight up as you would perhaps normally use it.

We always recommend that you run your self tape past your agent first. Not all agents will agree with this, so check with them as to how they operate and if they have a preference to sending tapes on your behalf or if they prefer you to send them directly. ALWAYS send self tapes to the letter of how they have been requested. If asked to save the tape in a specific way - DO IT. There are so many variables as to why requests are specifically made and if you don’t follow them this could be the difference between being cast and not. It’s all in the detail!

Before you start filming please learn your lines and rehearse. Read any instructions that you may have been sent, thoroughly. Get a friend to read in the other lines if necessary (reader).

Make sure your clothing is appropriate for the character but it isn’t necessary to be in full costume. That can be fun, but distracting. A self tape is about your skill and performance not how fantastic your outfit is. But by the same token, please do make an effort! Clean, ironed clothes and a smart appearance.

Be professional always! Only use props that are essential to the performance.

Your eye line should be close to the camera as they want to see both sides of your face. If you’re using a reader, make sure they aren’t too loud and 50

don’t over power you. It is best to position the camera on a stand or tripod of some description rather than asking the reader to hold it. The camera should remain still throughout. This also helps with audio if the reader is positioned further away than you and not close to the camera source.

Don’t go too far from the camera and frame in a mid-close shot unless requested otherwise (chest to top of head). Sit or stand depending on what feels comfortable for you and the scene.

Don’t over think it! Don’t do too many takes - If you can’t get it in 3 takes, take some time out, then try again. Run it past your agent or manager after your first take to gain some input from them. It is pointless trying three takes if something you could have been told on take one absolutely needs to be changed.

Generally speaking self tapes should be labelled with your name first, then the project title and scene along with your agency name. Every request is specific to the job so please follow these instructions exactly.

Only send one take, unless told otherwise. You and your agent should decide which one this is. It is not the job of a casting team to spend hours deciding what your best work is!

When complete you or your agent can send it via www.wetransfer. com or a downloadable Vimeo private link such as Tagmin. Never upload self tapes to YouTube unless requested to do so. Be mindful that the role you are casting for hasn’t been released yet and will undoubtedly contain confidential material.

Most importantly, enjoy the experience.

Even if you don’t get the role it WILL be seen by influential industry professionals!

“If you’re using a reader, make sure they aren’t too loud and don’t over power you.”

Photo by Vanilla Bear Films

Photo thanks to More Radio

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pedal pawn positive business in 2020 If you had to narrow down your musical inspirations to two people who would they be?

we talk to young musician and business owner chris king robinson about his online success during 2020

Tell us a bit about you as a musician.

Since the age of nine, playing blues guitar has been my ultimate passion! It’s rare to find your calling in life so early on, though I was very lucky! In recent years, I have aimed to put my own little contemporary stamp on ‘Blues’, leaving out the bit about my dog dieing & my wife leaving me. Experimenting with different guitar tones has always been at the forefront of my musical journey.

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That would definitely have to be Stevie Ray Vaughan and Jimi Hendrix! I can still listen to those guys all day every day.

What were you doing at the point of UK lockdown and how did it impact on your life and career?

I was already in full on grind mode when UK lockdown struck. I’m thankful that the lockdown period didn’t throw too many obstacles into my life (when compared to most). My gig diary was already clear due to a shift in focus on my bands debut album and fulfilling pedal orders day & night.

What exactly is your product and how can it benefit guitarists and music worldwide?

Our pedals are UK handcrafted boxes of tone, that enhance your guitars signal into a huge glassy / fat explosion!

Where did the name Pedal Pawn come from?

The name Pedal Pawn is slightly mischievous, due to the play on words with the more risqué association of the latter word! I saw fellow guitarists

Image by Giancarlo Duarte

talking about incredible pedalboard setups on Instagram while using the terminology ‘Pedal Porn’ & I then had the lightbulb moment one morning.

Has your business thrived since the onset of COVID19?

As a whole, e-commerce has completely boomed during the lockdown period and I’m thankful that our businesses infrastructure was already geared up for the online world. I’d say the true boom of e-commerce has hit about 10 years early due to coronavirus!

Do you miss playing live?

In my opinion, there is no better feeling than playing live music with your best friends and travelling the world! I certainly miss it every day.

What would you say to musicians at the moment. Any words of wisdom?

I would have to use the old business adage of ‘adapt or die’. Social media is where the attention is right now & it’s important to not sit dwelling on the current state of the live music industry.

If you could hear one guitarist using your product who would that be?

Hey John Mayer... if you’re reading this, we’ll give you a free guitar pick with your order haha.

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It’s a new world for HAIR

inanch london, the multi-award-winning boutique salon located in the heart of fitzrovia, london, w1 were the first in their field to put into place a solid covid-19 prevention action plan to be executed upon reopening. the 10 point plan outlines measures to keep their staff and treasured clients safe over the coming months.

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Deep cleaning the salon every day with bleach and antibacterial products including areas that are regularly touched such as door handles, toilet flushes, taps and debitcredit card machines.

1

Providing Inanch London hand sanitisers at reception which both clients and staff will be required to use on arrival and throughout the day.

5 Staggering client appointments and giving priority booking to our loyal/regular clients.

Providing compulsory face masks to all clients on arrival and face shields for staff whilst working.

2

Clients will be requested to come unaccompanied to their appointments.

4

3 Clients feeling unwell or displaying symptoms of Covid-19 will be requested to re-schedule their appointments.

6 8

Installation of glass partitions to separate each styling position. Image left.

7 “At Inanch London, the safety and well-being of our clients and staff is our number 1 priority. Our hygiene standards have always been extremely high with a 5-star Good Salon Guide rating for “salon cleanliness and hygiene”.

All styling positions will be disinfected after each client and all equipment used will be sterilised using our new UV Steriliser units.

9

The salon will be fitted with a High-Efficiency Particulate Air Purifier which is designed to remove up to 99% of airborne pollutants, bacteria and germs.

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“In light of the Coronavirus pandemic, we wanted to create and share a strong and The salon’s traditional concise plan to reassure all cotton towels will be replaced with biodegradable our clients that we are putting extra measures in place to keep disposable towels made our salon a safe and healthy from 100% natural environment after lockdown” viscose fibre making them comments Co-Owner & CEO, extremely hygienic and Joe Emir sustainable.

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a poem hummed Once upon a time there was a quiet little village called Oakham, where people freely walked the streets, offering smiles and greetings as well as hugs along the way for those more familiar. This is where I live, with my husband, my teenage daughter and a little cat called Archie. My husband and I drive to work every day and my daughter walks or rides her bike to school, all was calm, tranquil, and complete...

words & pictures by Michelle Wilson Stimson Then one day an evil virus ruined literally everything!

It caused arguments between people and difference of opinion,

It took our jobs, our businesses, our independence, it stole our children’s mental health as well as their education,

It caused ignorance and turned others into judgemental minions.

Babies were born without their dads there, new mums were left alone, with very little care, We couldn’t visit a doctor, for fear of getting ill, the surgeries were closed, we couldn’t get our pills,

People could not understand someone else’s views, so friendships were ruined under a mental bruise.

No one was safe, it could even harm pets, we were literally doomed, it was such a huge threat.

It put us inside, even in hot weather, it made us cry and made us lose our tether.

The government didn’t really know what to do, they took most their advice from some people at WHO.

It made some extremely unwell, but not for all, some escaped lightly with no symptoms at all.

Our economy was screwed, and businesses went under, a recovery would take year – it was all such a blunder.

It stole lives from families far too soon and disallowed us to visit them in their hospital room.

In a nutshell all I have left to say, it left us all wearing masks, washing our hands, and just staying away!

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That, my friends, is how we will describe our lives in years to come. It will be a poem hummed in a rhyming tune, maybe that people will wonder if it is true or something made up.

My story about lockdown living was a little different. I didn’t get ill, or rather have not to date. I continued to work and had to manage my business and teams remotely, so I worked harder – 65 hours a week. I was worn out. Watching those on Furlough, enjoying time with family just being together and I was stuck at my desk and iMac screen for 65 hours a week was no walk in the park. The virus has not made me ill but the cortisol running through my veins and lack of ability to switch off from work does. I am lucky in work, lucky my businesses did not fall like others I have seen. My husband works in health and safety and so he too was very busy from home.

My teenage daughter was happy to be at home, she is not keen on school and happy to do her homework from her own desk. She is in year 10 so was back in school earlier than most but only part time, which also suited her well. I do worry how the virus has forced her inside, living with her phone stuck to her face all day every day for school work or to speak to friends, its going to cause future issues with our children I am sure.

My main worry being locked at home was my eldest daughter being heavily pregnant. I couldn’t see her in her final weeks, the heartache of not being able to tell her to be calm, everything will be ok… to hold her hand and hug her good luck was truly a feeling I never wish to feel again. Now I know some will say, well at least she did not get ill, my mum died, nan died, dad died, etc.

And the hurt and sadness of those who lost relatives and friends must be truly horrendous for which I wish them all the love in the world, but I’m telling my story and my feelings and we all have a story, no matter how sad or happy to tell, so please don’t hate me for sharing mine.

This is my first-born child; my first grandson and I was not there. That tortures me and if I think about it – it makes me cry. I carry a new hurt inside me that will never be gone and never repair because the time has gone. I hate the virus for that.

When she went into labour, I was excited for her. She wanted to stay home for as long as possible because her partner was not allowed in the hospital with her until the very last moment, but sadly she struggled with the pain and had to go in to be checked over. The hospital took her in and made her partner wait outside.

That poor guy sat in his car, in an empty hospital car park for hours waiting to hear if his childhood sweetheart was ok, if their baby boy was ok. What kind of insane torture is that for a father?

Hours later she emerged and told to go home because she was not dilating quickly enough.

This again is where the insane guilt overcame me. I should be at her home with her helping her through the pain. I could, but no, thanks to the virus, I could not.

I cried and cried for her as each hour went past knowing how much pain she was in. Eventually she had no choice but to go back to the hospital for pain relief. Again, her other half couldn’t go in with her, so he dropped her at the door thinking he would see her soon.

Hours went past and she had to endure labour pains alone, even the midwives had to leave her alone in the majority, she was alone, my baby girl, my poor little girl was in pain, alone, going through her first labour in such horrendous times, why now, why, why, why?

Surely the partner being there would make no difference at all. After all they lived together! We could not get our heads around the logic and insanity of it.

Time went past and during the early hours of the morning, the hospital called to say her partner could finally go in as she was close to giving birth. I cannot begin to tell you the relief I felt from that, just knowing he would be there to hold 57

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her hand and help her through it.

We got a message towards the end of that new day that a very large baby boy had been born, mum was fine, baby was fine, everything was perfect. Relief, happiness, and tears swept over me like a tsunami.

The next day she was allowed to go home so no longer needed stay in hospital alone which pleased me.

The next stage was being at home, she could not go out, she could not have people to see the new arrival. I was not meant to go round to see him and her. But I was not letting a virus stop me, my little girl needed me there, she needed help and I would be more help than a health visitor.

I purposely isolated with my husband and teenager for 4 weeks so I could visit my daughter and her baby in his first days. I can only tell you how I felt and you may not understand the pain of thinking I couldn’t see my grandson in his first days. I know others have gone through the same experience as me and they may have missed out and not seen their new grandchild, but we made provision to do so. We were not ill, we had isolated and ordered food online, we worked from home, we saw no one! So, we knew we were safe. Mental health is just as big a worry in my mind for my daughter’s continued well being and to reduce any potential postnatal depression I needed to be there.

In times of war, and this virus is very much a type of war in my mind we have to be sensible, we have to learn to understand others and we have to do what is best for our families without prejudice and judging. ​ My visiting was right for our family. I kept my distance, but I was there to help and that meant everything to my daughter, which meant everything to me.

Refuge is a charity registered in England and Wales (277424)