No Matter What
Love and Marriage
T
hirty years ago, on a blind date, I met my husband. I’d been in Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) for 18 months. My heaviest weight was 200 pounds (about 91 kilos) at 5-feet, 2-inches tall. At that size, no one was fixing me up on a blind date. I had been married previously for 21 years, but after it ended in divorce, I had sworn off men. No interest at all. However, after a year in FA my sponsor and I started talking about dating. By then I was in a right-sized body and starting to feel good about myself. Back then there were no laptops, tablets, or cellphones, so there were no dating apps. The closest thing was a dating service, which I called just to investigate. The very nice lady who answered my call started taking down all my information. When she came to age, she paused. Her comment was “I’m so sorry dear, we don’t have any available men your age.” I was 42! God was working in my life because the price of six guaranteed dates was $1,200, money I didn’t have. Shortly thereafter, I had to call my insurance agent. I had known him since we worked in a grocery store together back when I was in high school. Through the years he had seen connection
me fat, thin, fat and thin again, depending on if the latest diet was working. After we took care of my insurance question, he asked me how my dieting was going. I told him I was in a new program and thinner than I had been in a long time. He said he had a friend who was a widower who he wanted to fix me up with. Less than a week later, we had our blind date. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I hadn’t dated anyone since I was 18. Times were very different almost 25 years later. My sponsor and I had a long talk the morning of my date. She suggested I tell him about program straight away, “He has to know who you are. If he doesn’t want to accept you, all of you, then why waste your time?” So I did. He didn’t bat an eye. He’d forgotten his glasses and couldn’t read the menu, so he ordered the exact same thing I did; an abstinent meal. We had a good time and agreed to see each other again. Two and a half years later, we were married. My previous husband and I had eloped. No fancy wedding; nothing. I told my husband I wanted to have a real wedding. He was fine with that. We were married in a very nice venue on a cold but sunny winter Sunday. If I 15
