Quest for Quiet
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used to meditate years ago. There doing the tools. My eyes would blink. My were always three or four things I body would move around. The dog had to do, all of which bounced needed attention. My feet were cold. around in my mind like a pinball ma- I talked to my sponsor about it, and chine, and I had to try to slow down. that helped. I also read some literature. Once I started the “Just for today, I will Food Addicts in have a quiet half It feels like a safe refuge Recovery Anonyhour all by myself mous (FA) proand relax.” Noticto sink into—relaxing, gram, I knew 30 ing the word “relax” minutes of quiet for the first time, I knowing this is part of time was a tool that tried to relax. was essential for learning how to ask for help “Relax,” I would admaintaining my abmonish myself. stinence and movI made some and how to be present, ing on the path to progress, but still recovery. But I not thinking about the future, had trouble. One didn’t believe in morning, I scurried not judging, God, and I didn’t around doing relish the idea of sitthings, and then reand just being. ting and doing alized I only had 30 nothing. I had tried. minutes to read the There was another problem. I was using Twenty-Four Hours a Day book and do my smartphone as my timer and had it my quiet time. I ended up with just 27 sitting next to me on the couch. The minutes of quiet time. That seemed close time was ticking down, but the emails enough for me. were coming in, too. I kept thinking, I’ll I told my sponsor I would set the timer just read the emails, and maybe check on one on my phone and then leave it on a table, or two things on the web. I was restless and out of reach during quiet time. My spondistracted, and then I felt guilty for not sor and I talked about how doing what connection
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