DORIAN SHIRE
to be addressed with different pronouns, but then I realised that when people referred to me as ‘he’, it felt right, it felt like me. Ever since I was a child, I was much more drawn to characters that were men; until 13, I was convinced that I was Peter Pan! I didn’t know why I identified with this, but it felt
M
y experience of masculinity is different
more right than me identifying with anything that was a woman. I live in an era that is much more accepting than if I had lived at any other time, for which I’m very lucky.
to cisgender males because, being trans, I’ve had
When I first came out, the ultimate goal was
to fight to be seen as masculine, and for a long
getting testosterone, growing a beard and being a
time I felt like I had to be completely masculine.
man. Now I’m not sure if I want to do that. At the
I wore jeans, t-shirts, polo shirts and denim jack-
moment, I just want to find a way of being comfort-
ets, and tried to fit in with other men as much as I
able with me rather than changing myself. I would
could. But now I’ve realised that I don’t want to be
never judge anyone for transitioning, but for my-
like that, I want to dress however I want, wheth-
self, I just want to work out what I want. It may
er that be wearing heels, makeup, whatever. Be-
come to a point when I want to carry a baby, and
ing masculine isn’t about being big and wanting to
you can’t do that after you’ve reached a certain
protect women. It’s just to do with thinking, “Hey
point of transition. I think I would be happy doing
I’m a man, this is my idea of masculinity”.
that because, yes, I would be a man, I would be a
In the future, if I want to transition further, I will have to pay to seem more masculine, which
father, but I can still carry a baby and I think that is kind of beautiful, it’s kind of lovely.
is a completely different experience to someone
Because of things that have happened to me
who was born into it. However unfair that may be,
before, like dysphoria, not feeling right in myself
I feel that it does give me and every trans man a
and eating disorders, I’ve never felt very comfort-
choice as to whether we want to conform to typ-
able in my own skin. So before I go through these
ical masculinity or if we just want to do our thing
huge physical changes that would happen with
and have fun with it. I also feel like this makes me
transitioning, I just want to learn to chill out and
less judgemental of less gender conforming peo-
be comfortable as I am, which I think I’m getting
ple because it doesn’t matter to me at all. To be a
towards. It’s fun.
man you just have to be a man, to be a woman is
My advice for cisgender people: if you see
the same, you just have to be who you want to be.
someone and, to you, they look like a boy in a
My style is androgynous at the moment; I feel like
dress, you might not be correct, that might be a
that makes me more comfortable in my masculin-
woman or it might not. You need to learn how to
ity than someone who is stressed out about having
throw away your ideas that conform to gender
a small dick or something. I feel like I have power
norms, your ideas that conform to masculinity and
over them because I can do what I want.
learn not to make everything so binary. You need
If I was referred to as ‘she’, or by my birth name,
to learn to accept that some people don’t always
it didn’t sit right. When I started exploring these
conform to your little box of ideas about gender,
feelings, I thought I was gender fluid, so I wanted
because it’s no fun if we’re all the same.