Reading Day 6
Modernity هتینرِدُمOK #fiction, #capitalism, #pain, #existence
they cut you wide open, with a knife, exactly on your belly, draw the line first, that is how they do it, no medicine, no nothing, they cut you when your eyes are open, you see all the faces around, you hear the doc asking for the knife, that is how it works, you understand that it is coming, you hear the pain, you feel the coldness of the sharp edge of the knife on your skin, you see the reflection of the sun on the smooth polished surface of the knife, oh the knife, such a beautiful creature, a true lover, and there is blood, red comes out, a lot of it, and they cannot even stop it, blood and blood and blood, give me a sponge or something, the doc asks, and they try to slow down the flow, no one has ever stopped the flow he says, give me the scissors, why do I hear everything, the right arm goes inside, the doc is inside me, till his elbow at least, oh it is not enough, two arms would do, you hear the doc breathing rapidly in your face, I want to go, I want to go, I don’t want this, you start crying, pushing, pulling, swearing at their serious faces, no one hears you though, you only think you can go, you masturbate over your freedom, but by now you should have felt the scissors, you should have heard it of course, one of these good japanese scissors, stainless steel is cutting you, cutting your belly, cutting your intestine, cutting your veins, cutting you wide open, cut me daddy, you remember, him, your dad, he takes you to the barber, you remember the barber cutting your ear by mistake, one move, only one small movement of two fingers in the air, at least two fingers, click, click, and two metal lips kiss each other, a bloody romance, X of scissors becomes I, and then I becomes X, and the red comes out, a lot of it, and they cannot even stop it, blood and blood and blood, give me a sponge or something, the barber asks, and they try to slow down the flow, no one has ever stopped the flow he says, look at the mirror at least, smile, you have less of an ear now, pay at the desk, please, I came to cut my hair, where is my dad, the memory of my dad can pay the bill, I have less of an ear, more of hair, my dad takes me to the school, bring out your scissors, we cut papers today, stupid shapes we want to make, draw the lines first, and cut them, cut them, cut them, the whole class is cutting, the whole class is bleeding, go wash, the whole class is washing, time to pray, wash before pray, pray for your pain, Allah will heal the pain, the pain which is real now, take my pain away, my memories hurt, the past hurts, it hurts, the change hurts, the change is what you are afraid of, the change is what it hurts, what it bleeds, and red comes out, a lot of it, and they cannot ever stop it, I hurt, I pain, you should be happy he says, the teacher, the barber, the imam, the father, the doctor, at
168