Reading Day 7
RepairEJR #essay, #queerness, #gender, #trans
Let me tell you a story about repair. He came out a few years ago; back then his mother was not yet familiar with the concept of trans-ness. All she felt was a sadness which came with losing her only ‘daughter’. Pronouns, changes, short hair, and masculine clothing. All she could hear was God telling her no; he should accept the body that was given to him. She told him countless times: ‘Why can’t you be a butch lesbian, a butch girl, a masculine girl, a cool girl?’ All she could hear was NO. When he found me, she was still not accepting. Misgendering. Ostracizing. Turning a blind eye. I was angry, claiming she failed at being a mother, failed at being a parent, failed at unconditionally loving and supporting. But I failed to see her trauma too. Overshadowed by his trauma. Years went by and she became softer, more accepting, as she saw that it wasn’t just a phase; as he registered to the clinic, put himself on the waiting list, and found a loving and accepting partner. Until she was at a funeral, with countless people that she hadn’t seen for years, that hadn’t seen her newborn son for years. An auntie asked if she didn’t have a daughter and a son, instead of two sons. She replied yes, she did, but her oldest son is trans. He
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