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Everybody Has One
Road Grass Bites Ass Grass Clippings VS Motorcyclists Well, folks, here we are again, caught where the wool is short. Today’s subject is slightly slippery, with a side of minced salami straight off the seat-of-shame; the fanny! Any ole experienced rider knows of that one dark-force agent of the winter—BLACK ICE; heck, every motorized vehicle operator knows about that stuff… We know, and that’s why today we are here to consider and examine his atrocious fifth cousin— (bumbumbum) GREEN ICE. That’s right - grass clippings scattered on the blacktop, as it were. As per usual, this spring and summer season, we have spent many hours on the roadways (especially those of the “back” sort), and we have noticed, perhaps due to stimulated consciousness being out in Nature and all, a particular spike in “road grass” offences. (We also, especially throughout the “Covid” situation, have witnessed a particular spike in entry-level riding; people are getting their social distancing on FORREAL by way of two wheels; and we love it). However, we don’t love the fact that when you mix the two up, beginner/ inexperienced riders and a sudden patch of blind road grass, you wind up in a pinch, pucker, or, (if you are really into seeking sudden series of unfortunate events), you crash out and “till the dirt” with your goose-berry grinder (and that pun was most certainly intended)!
It’s easy to get to thinking about them there folk, the ones that sling that greasy green lube (imagine dew-wet grass; blind curve; country no lane; sparkling green ice) all in the roads; it’s simple to think, ‘why that fella there must not know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt’ or that ‘maybe they’re about as sharp as mashed potatoes’, or maybe that ‘they couldn’t catch their breath what if it didn’t come natural’, or possibly that ‘they must be just as crooked as a hound’s leg and twice’t as dirty’, or maybe even ‘so danged worthless that the TIDE wouldn’t even take them out’; but regardless of our emotional reflexes, we, as riders, must understand one thing out the gate: SOME FOLKS JUST DON’T KNOW (and also, every garden has its weeds…). So, in all honesty, is it even worth the spit it’d take to cuss ‘em out? Let’s get down to the green of things…. Grass=ass=Ive had fun before, and this sure ain’t it. That rider is liable to get up madder than an ole grizzly bear with a sore arse! (And believe us, his arse will be sore, if it’s able to get up at all). Does grass (of the road-scattered sort, of course) offend us? Why, does a cat have climbing gear? Hell yes!! This hazardous waste, slicker than that scandalous banana peel, ‘green ice’ infringes upon us and our freedoms. Come on slick, it ain’t very becoming and thrice as rude, especially if you take in the wastefulness of gobstoppin the roadways with clippings
