HOW HAD WE MISSED OUR SON’S IMPAIRMENT? BY LEAH KATZ I removed the note from nearly three-year-old Mayer’s briefcase and rolled my eyes. PTA conference for nursery boys. What would they discuss, table manners and nap-time obedience? Indeed, it would take a while for us to appreciate that meeting. “The teacher thinks Mayer doesn’t hear well,” my husband pronounced upon his return from the conference the following week. He set his hat down on the table, then continued. “When the class transitions from one activity to another, he doesn’t move along with the rest of the class. The rebbi doesn’t believe he’s intentionally ignoring orders. It appears to him that Mayer doesn’t hear the announcement at all.” I pulled out a chair and sat down heavily, abandoning the dish towel from my hands. Our son had a problem. This was serious. Surely, the wet dishes could wait. Mayer, our eldest, had always been unusually obedient and calm. Since he was a baby, everything about him was slow and peaceful. He ate and slept nicely, played happily with toys on his own, and could sit on my lap or in the stroller for long stretches of time without becoming edgy. As a new mother, this was a blessing I could only fully appreciate when my next baby came along. Now, my appreciation for Mayer’s compliance suddenly shifted. Was his conduct only a result of his being tuned out? Clueless? Had his laidback behavior been a concerning symptom we had missed all along?
I sighed. “What does he suggest we do?” “Have his hearing tested. The rebbi had this with one of his own children too, and it actually turned out that the child’s oversized tonsils were the issue.” Suddenly, the dots were connecting in my mind. It was a comment I always heard when a nurse or doctor looked into Mayer’s mouth during checkups and throat cultures. Mayer has huge tonsils. At our next visit to the pediatrician, I discussed the situation with him, and he agreed that there was no reason not to test Mayer’s hearing. With the slightest flutter in my gut, we made it a Chol Hamoed trip and headed to the nearby Audiology Center. Mayer was barely three years old, and the test was lengthy and tiring. Despite my cheering him on, and the colorful toys being used as indicators of his hearing levels, we were both grouchy by the time the session was over. Next, we were taken to an exam room where a woman pronounced his hearing to be perfect. She then peered into both his ears and mouth and advised we check out his tonsils. “There is currently fluid in both of his ears, and you mentioned that that’s a usual occurrence,” she added. I nodded. Mayer had never suffered from ear infections. However, whenever a doctor peered into his ears, he always found fluid there. This was one of the few causes of irritability when he was a baby. “Both his tonsils and adenoids
are enlarged, as well. I would have an ENT examine them and decide if removing or shaving them is necessary. Inserting tubes in his ear may be helpful, too.” I nodded again, and thanked her, promising to follow up with our doctor. We left, grateful that our son’s hearing was fine, baruch Hashem, but wondering what the next step would bring. With a referral from the pediatrician in hand, I dutifully made an appointment at the highly recommended ENT for the following month. This time, I took a slot during morning hours and accompanied Mayer myself. The office was close to our home, and I preferred to send my younger baby off to the babysitter and share the results with my husband later in the day. In hindsight, the short-lived panic I was to endure there was destined for me alone; he would be spared the experience. After completing the necessary paperwork, the receptionist explained that they’d be conducting another hearing test on-site, as they do prior to every examination. A large, ornate wooden train track set was set in the center of the waiting room, and my eyes repeatedly traced its paths, bridges, and tunnels while davening that the test wouldn’t be as exhausting as the previous one. It wasn’t. Although a student evaluator introduced herself and joined the procedure, it went a lot faster and smoother than the first one. Mayer cooperated nicely, and my breathing began to slow down. Everything was
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