polyamory
EMOTIONAL CONCERNS [IN POLYAMORY]
Building a tolerance for ambiguity. Clients may experience distress, confusion, or self-doubt when idealistic views of polyamory are eclipsed by primitive emotions that seem at odds with their “evolved” thinking. The exuberance attached to some aspects of polyamory sometimes will be counterweighted by corresponding surges of pain or grief over other aspects. For example: One’s joy in expanding the horizons of love can be counterbalanced by the grief felt in letting go of romantic fantasies about having and being the “one and only.” The thrill of sexual diversity can be counterbalanced by a struggle with inner demons (fear of loss, abandonment, insecurity about desirability, sense of failure as mistakes are made, etc.). One’s pleasure in having more needs met by more people can be counterbalanced by the weight of responsibility for self and increased accountability to others. There is pain in the recognition that even in the world of alternative relationships, the dream of “having it all” – the perfect blend of emotional, sexual, and relational needs fulfillment -sometimes cannot be realized. Coping with fallout. Being prepared to move on if no agreement to pursue polyamory can be reached and negotiating the least disruptive “exit strategy.”
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