DEBUNKING THE FEAR OF THERAPY
O
ur sense of self starts the moment we are born and provides a backdrop for how we approach our life and events along the way can either nurture selfesteem or damage it. When self-esteem is damaged, you can experience symptoms of stress, anxiety, panic attacks, disordered thinking, depression or unhealthy behaviours such as OCD or self -harm. There is a common myth and fear around therapy which prevents people from seeking support when they need to. This is usually that once therapists have ‘got you’ in the chair, you will spend all your time crying and in distress. Add to this fear a stern looking therapist with a clipboard sitting aside from you in judgement, secretly shocked and taking copious notes whilst you go into all the awful things that have happened. Add to this the possibility that you may never have spoken about your feelings before and the fear is increasing… When I first explored the concept of therapy for myself, I had no idea what to expect and the thought of sharing what was going on (especially as I wasn’t even clear what that was) filled me with a huge anxiety. (If this is one of the symptoms you are experiencing, this doesn’t help!)
your healing will always be the ability to build trust - and I find it always helps to have a cuppa on offer! All sessions are done at your pace with the first one simply allowing you space to sit, to ask questions while collecting some background information. When you start talking, it’s a crucial. You only talk about what you feel comfortable with and your therapist helps you to become curious so you can start exploring your thoughts, feelings, emotions and reactions. My style is a mixture of traditional talk therapy and mindfulness-based practise which means I take you back through your timelines of life events. You learn to focus your busy thoughts on simply breathing – this encourages you to relax – you learn you can choose what you think and how you feel, and when you feel safe and present you can start to explore what has happened to you in the past without the fear of the emotions you experienced at the time becoming too painful or overwhelming. To make real permanent change to you holistically, you need to address past events which cause present challenges– leading you to a fulfilled life. Many therapists now use positive psychology and are future-focused. It is crucial to not only listen but to be a voice who questions and helps you see things from a different perspective. allowing you to release negative thinking. It often gets emotional, that’s true but tears and release of emotions are part of the healing process. There is an incredible difference in feeling overwhelmed and lost in your emotion to being able to express yourself emotionally whilst being supported by your therapist. It can be scary stepping on that bridge to recovery but if a part of you has already decided the other side could be better and you are finding it hard to cope, then it is time to make that step. Remember, recovery is always possible.
The Therapists’ Couch The truth is, there is rarely, if ever, a couch on which you lie and stare at a high white ceiling! Many therapists offer warm, open, welcoming rooms with chairs placed to encourage two-way dialogue. The biggest impact on
Ali Moore is an accredited and awardwinning Therapist and Coach specialising in the science of self-esteem and self-worth. She is the founder of the Reconnection Programme, Author of bestselling book Reconnect Your Life and Creator of Find Your Roar, one of the leading confidence workshops for women. An advanced member of the International Association for evidence-based Psychotherapists, Ali studies with the British Psychological Society in Clinical and Forensic Psychology and is a well-respected speaker in her field.
bemoore.uk
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