I am connected to others. I am not isolated. My identity is not a fixed identity but it is fluid and flexible. I am embracing the void and accepting it as part of who I am. I am not filling it. I would summarize the narrative of my recovery in six movements. In the first movement, which is really the beginning of the story, there is an awareness of an injury. The second movement is the death of my mother. This loss makes me question the meaning of life. One of my employees gave me the book the Road Less Traveled. The first phrase of the book "life is difficult" captured me. Through the book I began to recognize the possibility of change. The third movement is when I met Jim who became a mentor to me. I trusted Jim and Jim believed in me. I could receive help because I respected and believed that Jim was able and willing to help. The fourth movement in the story is when I entered into a variety of workshops, personal counseling, and began having hard conversations with my dad. Through the workshops I began to experience emotions in a new way. I became emotionally expressive, developed internal skills of self-awareness, self-reflection self-regulation, and developed external skills like communication and conflict resolution skills. This forth movement was emotional. As my anxiety dropped my ability to feel close and present to others increased. I experienced intimacy in a way I never knew possible. This was because I learned to express my emotions especially
my anger more effectively. I became more integrated with my sadness and I learned how to connect and received support. In the fifth movement of the story I became more capable of making my own choices. I explored a variety of different kinds of transformational
