Oct/Nov 2010 On the Minds of Moms

the mom message

Feel-good Fall is here! Our children [heck even many of us adults] anxiously await their favorite dress-up occasion, Halloween, and the mounds and mounds of endless candy treats that come with this sugar-high holiday. With nearly one third of our kids battling obesity today and the fact that one in three kids will develop diabetes in their life time, we as parents need to do our part and teach a healthy lifestyle now! This issue of OTMOM includes raw facts on the epidemic of juvenile diabetes and one local mom’s inspiring Halloween tradition for her diabetic daughter and family of six [page 26], a cover story mom who is the true essence of the word child advocate determined to make a difference in our community [page 64] and we have a stay-at-home dad who reminds us that living a life of gratis is simple as well as important [page 60]. And for a little food for thought [no pun intended], October is National Eat Better, Eat Together month. We encourage you to make an honest effort to share at least one meal together as a family. For some time saving, no non-sense, delicious, health conscious, diabetic friendly recipe options be sure to check out the Down the Aisle [page 46] and This and That sections [page 56]. We can all agree that investing in experiences, memories and family togetherness is pretty rewarding. Lastly, as we celebrate THANKSgiving this year let’s remember Gratitude is the best Attitude.

dani & sheri

co-founders & inspired moms

on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC

EDITOR Dani Parkos Fluge

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PHOTOGRAPHY Ria Czichotzki – rialee photography

Lindsey Johnson – rialee photography

Casie Beldo–rialee photography

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DESIGN AND LAYOUT Scott Thuen – thuen design www.thuendesign.com

AD DESIGN Casie Beldo

Scott Thuen

Tara Kessler

Stephanie Drietz

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INFORMATION mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107

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COVER PHOTO BY Ria Czichotzki–rialee photography www.rialeephotography.com

OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT

On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bi-monthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family.

On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision.

Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved. No part of

lee hoedl fargo | nd

A motivational speaker, Lee presents before a wide variety of audiences ranging from women groups to Boy Scout troops and corporate leadership to church organizations and non-profit agencies. In his spare time he is an avid marathoner, a high altitude climbing enthusiast, an accomplished author, freelance outdoor photographer and stay-athome dad to Leo [14] and triplets Emily, Hannah and Nicholas [8]. Lee’s personal mission statement is to "inspire and enlighten the human spirit through image and word.”

sara arntson fargo | nd

A self-proclaimed night-owl who is still acclimating to the frenzied routine of school mornings, now that her oldest is in kindergarten, would rather be in bed with a dog curled up at her feet. Sarah and her husband, Dave, are raising two daughters, ages 6 and 2, while operating Milestones Photography in West Fargo. She sits on the Board of Directors of the North Dakota Heart Gallery, volunteers where she can, and wishes for more hours in the day.

lara lunde, MD fargo | nd

With a medical degree from Oregon Health Sciences University, Lara, a hometown girl from Fargo, currently practices at Essentia Health at the South University site, in family practice. She is active with the local chapter for the American Diabetes Association, sits on the Dakota Medical Foundation and enjoys teaching med students when she has the chance. Mom to Haley [5] and Samuel [3], enjoys scarp booking and outdoor activities with husband, Scott, and says friends and family are her favorite past times.

maria bosack west fargo | nd

A wife, friend and self-proclaimed Aunt of the Year, Maria is a graduate of MSUM with degrees in Social Work and Early Childhood Development. Co-owner of Eco Chic Boutique, full-time Shaklee Distributor and president of the Women’s Business Exchange, Maria finds extreme pleasure from mentoring other women in business. Marie loves to garden, cook with her husband, Tate, and spend time with “her boys”…proud aunt of four nephews.

becky lahlum

moorhead | mn

An on the side freelance writer and full-time employee of Dakota Specialty Milling for the past 7 years, Becky and husband of 11 years, Steve, are proud parents to John [6] and Matthew [4]. The Lahlum’s are an active family enjoying camping adventures, camp fires, star-gazing, playing checkers and warm days on the lake.

patricia carlson dilworth | mn

An award-winning freelance writer and reporter who specializes in parenting, lifestyle, health, and design writing, you can view Patricia’s portfolio at www.patriciacarlsonfreelance. com. She and her husband, SuperFutureDad, are proudly expecting the arrival of their first child who will undoubtedly provide an endless supply of entertaining stories of which to write. In the meantime, you can watch her bump grow on Valley News Live where she reports under the name Tricia O'Connor!

jill henning fargo | nd

Making her home in Fargo for the past 11 years and a native to southwestern Minnesota, Jill graduated from MSUM with a degree in communication studies. Since 2006, Jill has been with State Farm and enjoys getting to know her clients and provide an extra personal touch to the insurance and financial service industry. Although not yet a mother herself, she is kept busy by the five nieces and nephews she has in Fargo and is looking forward to having children of her own in the future.

tera miller, MBA, LRD bismarck | nd

After making Fargo her home for the past 10 years, Tera recently moved to Bismarck to be the Director of the Diabetes Program for North Dakota. She is a licensed registered dietitian with a master’s degree in business administration whose passion is leading a happy healthy lifestyle and helping others do the same. She is an avid marathon runner and is an active member of the North Dakota Nutrition Council. Tera proudly serves as a Technical Sergeant in the North Dakota Air National Guard and is currently Mrs. North Dakota America. At home, she lives to spend time with 14-month-old son, Ethan, and using her husband, Derek, as a guinea pig for new recipes.

percent of women diagnosed with breast cancer will seek a second opinion

Be your own advocate… know your options

51 pounds of chocolate are consumed on average by each American per year That is roughly 117,045 calories!

in 3 children born today will be diagnosed with diabetes in their lifetime Your kiddo doesn’t have to be a statistic! Teach them the key parts of a healthy lifestyle

Born and raised in Fargo, and the baby sister to Julie [only by 1 year, 1 month and 1 day] and big brother Mark, Janelle graduated from MSUM. For the past 10 years she has been employed in the Publications Services department at NDSU as a senior graphic designer. Janelle has a passion for photography, so much so she and her husband, Lance of 7 years, have devoted a room in their basement to transform into a darkroom. When she isn’t an active hockey mom, Janelle shares her love for Bagolitas, a swanky handbag company, as a senior consultant.

photos: rialee photography | casie beldo

one fall fashion must have… Plaid shirts. I was excited to see them come back in and in such cute styles. I have always wanted to…

Be a photographer for rock-stars!

I’m a big believer in…

Spending time with my daughter, even if that means the household chores don’t get done quite as quickly as they should. three things i’m addicted to…

iTunes [especially the free song of the week], C.O. Bigelow Mentha Lip Tint in Sheer Rose from Bath & Body Works and Bagolitas!

my morning meal consists of…

I go in spurts. Usually it’s either oatmeal mixed with peanut butter [sticks to your ribs a little longer] or yogurt combined with berries and granola. But sometimes it might be hard boiled eggs and grapefruit. Or…I might go on a Pop-Tart binge.

my favorite TV station…

VH1 and E! Bring on the crazy reality shows! I love them. They make me so thankful for MY reality.

something next to my bed…

Glass of water, a book [lately it’s been one of Jodi Picoult’s] and socks for the inevitable cold feet during the night.

I spoil myself with…

A pedicure, massage or just a good old-fashioned shopping spree.

something that always makes me laugh…

Ava! Her silly faces, her infectious giggle, how animated she is, the crazy things she says…all of it.

When she watches America’s Funniest Home Videos, she laughs constantly at the TV and it’s all I can do to keep a straight face, even if I’m not in the same room. having a sister means…

Having someone I can count on for literally everything! My sister, Julie, will listen when I need to vent, cry with me when I’ve had a tough day, or break out the wine and laugh with me when we just need some

girl time. She has an amazing generous heart and I love her dearly.

five things always in my car…

Some sort of lip gloss or chapstick, business cards, coupons - usually Cash Wise gas coupons and Papa Murphy’s coupons, the latest issue of OTMOM and all of the crazy CDs Ava and I like to make and sing to.

my dessert of choice…

First choice is cheesecake, something with chocolate or caramel. Although, I’m also very fond of ice cream. as a family we enjoy…

Heading to the lakes and spending the day out on the pontoon. Ava can’t get enough of swimming and there’s something very peaceful about being on a boat that isn’t meant to go fast. It’s a great way to just slow down and enjoy your surroundings.

best chic-flick i’ve seen…

I’m a huge fan of chick-flicks! But two of my all time favorites are P.S. I Love You and The Notebook. Gerard Butler? Hello!

something i treasure the most…

The handmade cards and gifts from Ava. I keep all of the cards stashed away in a drawer. Every once in awhile, she asks if we can take them all out and look through them together. I love that she knows how much I cherish them.

Moorhead center mall ad

green with ease

story by | maria bosak

I believe Kermit the frog once said “It ain’t easy being green.” Well I don’t like to argue with frogs, but I would have to disagree. Sorry Ms. Piggy, please don’t karate chop me. I think being green can be simple and fun. Not to mention healthy for the earth and our families.

The term “green” is being tossed around a lot these days and it is becoming increasingly harder to decipher what it means. That is the great thing. You get to decide what green is for you! For my friend and business partner Leanne Sucrow it means using cloth diapers for her daughter, choosing organic foods and repurposing furniture. That works for her and she does it beautifully, but for me I enjoy my new furniture and my dog won’t sit still long enough for me to get a diaper on her.

I asked ten people to tell me how they are green and here is what I heard; “realizing I can’t save the world myself, but I can get educated and make some better choices” Nikkie

“shutting off the water when I brush my teeth” Brent [5-years-old]

“making safer and healthier choices for my family and by setting a good example for others” Kimbra

“driving a smaller SUV...and not driving so fast” Lee

“conscious of how your choices impact the earth, being respectful and least toxic to our environment” Micara

“no more plug-in air fresheners or room sprays” Tanya

“dusting off my bike and hauling groceries in my pull behind bike cart” Amy

“putting the banana peels in the compost bucket on the deck and not the garbage…so my wife doesn’t yell at me” [my husband Tate]

“taking in garage sales and second hand stores” Sue

“cloth napkins and reusable lunch bags” Kim

“donating electronics, computers and old cell phones to non-profit companies that need them” Joe

Ok, that was eleven, but you get the point. Going green doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be simple and it can be fun. As we move into the holiday season and we begin our shopping how can we be green and still get some great presents for our loved ones? Well I have just the answer. Buy local! Fargo is chocked full of small locally owned businesses that would love to have you walk through their doors. It can be tempting to drive to larger metropolitan areas, but think of all the gas we would save and the reduction in emissions. The money you save on gas could be spent on buying that special someone a new composter so he remembers where to put his banana peels!

Remember, being green…is easy. I don’t care what that old frog says.

Eco Chic is a Green Boutique that carries products for babies, children, families, home & pets. Their mission is to educate families on living a healthy life through Earth friendly products and good nutrition without compromising their everyday lifestyle. Their eco friendly goods range from cloth diapers to essential oils to home accessories to everyday staples.

on teen drivers 411

story by | jill henning

Anticipation,

excitement, and most importantly, independence are things you likely felt that first day behind the wheel. If you were anything like me, that wheel was attached to a faded, burgundy minivan with silver pin striping that my parents convinced me, was a really nice accent to the color. Nevertheless, it didn’t matter to me what it looked like…as long as it got me from point A to point B. Looking back, what I realize is that it didn’t matter if I was driving the newest model off the showroom floor or that slightly rusting minivan, it’s the driver behind the wheel and passengers riding with that really make the difference. With National Teen Driver Safety Week starting October 17th and winter driving not too far down the road; it couldn’t be a more fitting time to think about what we can do to help keep our new drivers safe.

With one in four crash fatalities in the United States involving a 16 to 24-year-old, motor vehicle crashes remain the number one cause of death for adolescents. It comes as no surprise that the first six months after getting a license are the most dangerous times for any driver. Therefore it is crucial that safe driving practices are put in place even before that first day behind the wheel arrives.

According to the National Young Driver Survey, which measured teens understanding of driving safety issues, several key findings emerged. The three key findings were:

• 60% of teens believe inexperience heavily influences safety, however only 15% consider themselves and their peers to be inexperienced.

• it recognized the crucial role parents play in teen driving safety

• teens who share a vehicle with a family member are half as likely to report being in an accident than those who are the main driver of a household vehicle

Although it might not be what your teen wants us to hear, parents should feel encouraged that the study also revealed that the majority of teens surveyed said their parents influence their driving behavior more than anyone else. Here are a few quick tips to keep in mind along the way.

• lead by example Your kids have been learning driving behavior for years, by watching you, so you have already started teaching. It’s one of the toughest and most important rules to “practice what you preach.” Whether it is cell phones, seat belts, or speeding being an “experienced” driver is never an excuse to break the rules.

• limit their distractions Most teens recognize that talking or texting is a significant distraction when driving. An option you may want to consider is to remove the temptation all together. When traveling keep your cell phone stored in a secured cubby. This will ensure you can locate your phone if an accident occurs.

• set house rules Teens who say their parents set rules and monitor where they are going and with whom in a helpful, supportive way are half as likely to be in a crash. They are also 71% less likely to drive intoxicated than teens who describe their parents as less involved.

• set initial limits to driving privileges Knowing the first six months after getting licensed is the most dangerous time for new drivers, consider limiting the number of passengers your teen may transport for at least six months and only allow driving during the day.

• learn to share with others When teens have to share a car, they have to ask to use it. This request naturally leads to an opportunity for parents to monitor their teen’s driving. Teens with primary access to a vehicle are more likely to use cell phones while driving and are twice as likely to report having been in an accident.

• create a code word Often teens get in situations they likely don’t want to be in, but aren’t sure how to avoid the peer pressure. By having a previously agreed upon code word to call or text to you can signal trouble and can give them an “out” from a

difficult situation. This includes when they happen to be a passenger with another teen driver.

• have your teen meet with your local insurance agent Help your teen understand the costs associated with driving. One of which is to be insured on your auto policy. It’s important for them to understand how liability coverage works, what a deductible is and how to keep premiums as low as possible. It’s often helpful for them to see how getting good grades or having an accident can affect insurance rates positively or negatively.

Jill Henning and her staff at State Farm Insurance pride themselves on helping people manage the risks of everyday life, recover from the unexpected and realize their dreams. They have the insurance and financial services to meet the needs of every family.

2511 Kirsten Lane S, Fargo www.jillhenning.net 701.893.3000

birthday party fanatic confessions of a

story by | kathleen wrigley

I’m not a party-pooper.

Birthdays are important. They’re our day. Meant to single us out and make us feel special. I love my birthday, even the BIG one I celebrated this year. There it is: I’M 40 My mom surprised me and flew in from Philadelphia. Our families celebrated at the Wrigley lake cabin with a special dinner. It was perfect for me; perfectly peaceful and memorable.

While it’s unrealistic to expect a child to embrace a quiet birthday, nor should they expect the Mardi Gras we’ve turned these occasions into. Celebrating a tiny tike’s special day has changed. Even the traditional song has been overhauled. “Happy Birthday to You,” has

run the gamut of “smelling like you live with monkeys,” to “cha-cha-cha-oooolala-ing” and something about missing somebody’s grandma from Alabama?

Birthday parties are meant to be just that-a party. A chance for kids to have fun running around, getting dirty and playing games, topped off with cake and ice cream. But such quaint shindigs are rare today. Even my daughter calls these get-togethers “olden day parties.”

The truth is…I’m a recovering Birthday Party Fanatic. I’ve done it. In my own pursuit to subscribe to the new norms, I’ve gone overboard.

I remember it well: a bowling-themed festival [for a 4-year-old] with screen-printed personalized shirts and hand-made bowling ball invites that slipped into

photo: thuen design | scott thuen

a CD envelope revealing the party details through the window. An array of senseless, costly, junkie toys and candies were stuffed into drawstring pouches and given as “treat bags.” Pizza, pop, popcorn, piñata: check, check, check and check.

Thankfully, we did keep one tradition in focus, thanks to Grama Gloria. She prepares some of the most beautiful pieces of art out of flour, sugar and dye.

Even our little guy was in on the party rage. He wanted to invite everyone. His entire pre-school class attended. He told me, “I want to invite ALL my fwends…hey, mommy who aaw my fwends?” They all came, balancing generous and colorfully wrapped presents.

I puffed-out my chest [tired, but proud] and tried to disguise my droopy eyes framed with dark circles, as each pint-sized party guest slipped into my “Team-Patrick” tee. I gave an “ah shucks” and a hand wave to every mom who threw me a compliment, as if all this was an after-thought. “No biggie. Just a little something I threw together.” Ah, yes, I was very proud of “my” party.

As I struggled to fit the gifts into the back of my SUV, it hit me: This is Ridiculous! Where in the world am I going to store these toys? And, more importantly, will Patrick ever have enough time to play with them? Ugh. But…chop chop. No time to lament. There was a “family” party ready to roll out!

For as much stuff as we came home with, I felt a little empty. I was over-stimulated. How must my 4-year-old be feeling? Do these lavish events we call birthday parties add measureable value to our children’s lives?

The mental health professional in me wonders: Do we really do this stuff for our kiddos? Or, maybe we’re trying to impress the other moms? Speaking only for myself…a little of both, I suppose.

So, how have we gone from cake and ice cream at home to the extravagant events of today to celebrate a child’s birthday? We’ve created lofty social standards to define a “great” birthday party for our child. Parents are trying to follow these new guidelines, regardless of whether they proportionately reflect their resources, mental preparedness, time commitments- or sleep requirements.

Kids’ birthday parties have become their own industry. The marketing world has capitalized on our quest to make every birthday a milestone, tempting us to spend fistfuls of dollars in order to have a successful “event.” I

googled kids’ birthday party ideas. The result: sixty-nine pages with approximately 11,700,000 links.

I am a traditionalist. I try to be progressive, you know, for my kids. But, for Pete’s sake, there’s only so much a 40-year-old woman can take! There are reasons things go in and out and back in style [like the bell-bottom dungarees to high-pocketed “mom” denims back to the flare-legged jean. They’re more flattering].

Many families are frustrated and ready to get back to those “olden day parties.” So, could the tide be turning? It is for us.

Unfortunately for the Wrigley children, their mom is finding her way back to her traditionalist roots. OK, so it took three brain surgeries to embrace this “olden-day” base.

The revised plan: Have a party. Celebrate life. Whoop it up. Invite all our “Fwends.” But, keep it simple. Gifts are excessive for friend parties. So, we save gift-exchanging for family.

Hearing the conversations among parents is the first step. But, the evidence is there. More and more parents are pulling the plug on these over-done kid parties, and going back to the basics.

This summer, my daughter was invited to a classmate’s birthday party. The invite was specific: “NO GIFTS! Please bring an item for the food pantry.” Immediately, Quinn grabbed a gift bag [birthday-girl specific], and collected nonperishables.

Samantha, way to go, sweetheart! Thank you for giving back. You’re a super star and a shining example to your friends-and their parents!

Instead of cramming our closets, let’s teach our kids how to party like it’s…2010. Let’s cram their little hearts with joy and use our creative juices to generate more tangible, lasting memories.

Come on, give it a whirl. It’s super swanky and actually quite progressive, if I do say so myself.

Kathleen is a stay-at-home mom who serves on a number of community boards/committees, is active in her church, kids’ school, and politics and runs to sustain her own mental health! This Philadelphia native is married to a fourth generation North Dakotan, Drew, and proudly considers North Dakota her home. They have three children. Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speech writer. Kathleen received a BS from The Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University, in Philadelphia.

room for one more

story by | sarah arntson

Twelve-year-old

Dylon is always on the go. He’s a fast talker who moves at the speed of light with unbridled enthusiasm. You can’t tell by looking at him, but he’s overcome a tremendous amount of hardship. As a young child, Dylon was removed from his biological mother’s care and separated from his brother and sister. Dylon and his siblings became part of the North Dakota foster care system, and waited months to be placed with a forever family.

photo: rialee photography | ria czichotzki

The vast majority of the children in North Dakota who have been removed from the care of their biological parents sail through the system. Some have family members that are able to care for them while babies and younger children tend to get adopted quickly. But approximately 10% of those kids, who are so much more than a measly statistic, linger in foster care. It’s for children like Dylon, his siblings and the others that make up the approximate 10% that the North Dakota Heart Gallery [NDHG] was created.

a picture is worth a thousand words

The NDHG has a mission of encouraging adoption by reaching out to the public using a unique approach. Talented photographers are recruited to capture the spirit and personality of children looking for their forever home. An emotional and touching photograph collection is created that tours the state. On its website, www.ndheartgallery.org, more photographs are available offering a fuller picture of each child’s heart. In addition to shining a spotlight on the individuality of each child, the NDHG uses its photographs to raise general awareness about adoption and to urge those who are considering adoption to take action.

Loren and Kandi Tetzloff of Wahpeton, ND are no strangers to adoption. With two biological children, Kayla and Nathan, their motto is, ‘There’s always room for one more. Whatever God brings to us.’ They adopted their son, Brad, through the Wendy’s Wonderful Kids program. During foster parent training their case worker

did you know

introduced them to the 2008 Heart Gallery. Dylon’s photo [and those of his biological siblings] was one of fifteen that year. The Tetzloffs recognized his enthusiasm and boundless energy right away. Something about his photo spoke to them. He belonged in their family. there’s always room for one more

The Tetzloff family finalized Dylon’s adoption in 2009 and were invited to speak at the NDHG’s Annual Gala that same year. The family was there to celebrate Dylon’s adoption, and to share the wonderful things the addition of Brad and Dylon have brought to their family. People in the audience came to tears listening to Loren, Kandi and Dylon tell their story. But a strange thing happened as the family recalled its recent past—they crashed into their future. As that year’s new edition of photos was unveiled, a set of 11-year-old twins jumped into their hearts.

“We saw their picture right before we spoke [at the gala],” Loren recalls. “You’re supposed to wait a while after an adoption is finalized for another placement, but we just knew—we thought they’d fit with us and everything worked out.”

Twins Aries and Jordan joined the Tetzloff family a few months later. Their adoption was finalized in September 2010.

becoming a family

Adding children to a family is a complicated undertaking—and completely worth it, say the Tetzloffs.

“The biggest thing with adopting is just learning to live with each other,” says Loren.

“The first thing we work on is building trust and reassuring them: This is real, this is it,” Kandi explains. “They’re here forever. Sometimes they don’t even know what ‘forever’ is. Some kids struggle with it, some get it right away. We let them know we’ll be there for anything. They can come to us with anything.”

The Tetzloffs hold weekly family meetings to keep everyone connected. “We’re really busy,” Kandi says. “Each of the kids has their own activities, their own talents. We try to help them and encourage the things they like to do. We have drama, dance, social clubs at school, and sports. Basketball, wrestling, football, soccer, ballet and gymnastics.”

They also make it a point to never promise something they can’t deliver. “Their lives were so full of disappointment. We don’t promise anything we can’t follow through on,” Loren says.

Understandably, a house full of teens and tweens is not without its drama. “We have our days when we’re at the end of our wits,” Loren confesses. “We say, ‘Oh, we can’t do this again,’ but the next day we say, ‘Oh yeah, we can!’”

“We see more children in our future,” Kandi says.

more blessings

The Tetzloff family gained so much more than children through their experience with the NDHG, they say. The family that adopted Dylon’s biological sister has become close friends, and they’ve encouraged other friends to check out the gallery. One of those families recently finalized the adoption of Dylon’s biological brother. The siblings—and their new families—will always remain close and connected.

adding children to a family is a complicated undertaking—and completely worth it

The Tetzloffs even joke about adopting the case worker who helped them facilitate their adoptions. “We’ve made all of these friends. Other families, the workers at AASK [Adults Adopting Special Kids], Catholic Charities, the Heart Gallery. The Heart Gallery not only gave these children to us forever, but we’ve gained some really good friendships too,” Loren says.

“The greatest part of doing it is at the end of a really great day when you tuck them in and see the looks on their faces,” Kandi says.

“Or when they come home and say it was the best day ever at school,” Loren adds. “We helped them achieve some of their best days ever. That’s pretty cool.” supporting the forever family search

The NDHG is preparing to unveil another edition of photos in November. This will be the gallery’s third collection. Since 2008, NDHG has served over 45 children and approximately half of those children are in placement or pending placement with their forever home.

The NDHG wouldn’t exist without the dedication of volunteers and North Dakota business sponsors, and

donations. It relies on organizations to host and display the photos at events and gatherings.

The community support the NDHG has received amazes Kandi and Loren. “People pour their heart and soul into these kids at the Heart Gallery,” Loren says. “People go out of their way to help kids they’ve never even met. And the photographers put their time into getting to know the kids and bringing out their personalities.” Kandi adds that seeing the photos is “like you’ve known them their whole life. What you see in those pictures is what you get. They’re not fake.”

The North Dakota Heart Gallery will have its 3rd Annual Gala November 4th at The Plains Art Museum in Fargo. It is free and open to the public. Do you have room for one more? For more information, go to www.ndheartgallery.org.

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a growing dilemma diabetes:

photo: thuen design | scott thuen

story by | lara lunde, MD

Diabetes is a word heard often in discussion centering around the current state of healthcare. We, as a society, are bombarded with statistics such as, ‘23.6 million Americans have diabetes and an additional 58 million Americans have pre-diabetes’ as quoted by the North Dakota Department of Health. I can go further and quote another frightening statement that ‘ diabetes is in the top seven causes of deaths for all age groups 25 and older ’. The statistics are alarming to any set of ears, but allow me to disturb you even further with this staggering statistic—‘with current trends, 1 out of 3 children born today will develop diabetes during their lifetime’. Do I have your attention?

what’s it look like?

Diabetes is defined in Stedman’s Medical Dictionary as a condition caused by an “absolute or relative deficiency of insulin” thereby causing a multitude of other complications related to elevated sugar levels in the body.

Medical providers are often the first-line for discovering, testing and diagnosing diabetes. Common symptoms and signs of diabetes or a pre-diabetic state range from vague symptoms such as fatigue, weight loss, frequent urination, increased thirst, and/or frequent infections

to more specific symptoms such as increased nighttime urination, lethargy, skin pigmentation changes, daytime urinary incontinence in a previously continent child, and/or visual changes. The younger the child, the harder it is to diagnose. For diaper-clad children, we often look to the child who has continuous diaper dermatitis. Unfortunately, younger children under the age of six, tend to present more severe symptoms and signs at diagnosis than older children or adults. Extreme cases

23 6 million Americans have diabetes and an additional 58 million Americans have pre-diabetes

of diabetes can result in emergency room visits and/ or admission to the hospital. Once suspicion is raised based on history collection or physical findings, then the appropriate lab work often reveals and confirms the diagnosis.

Diabetes is a complicated medical diagnosis, and to make matters worse, the lines between Type 1 and Type 2 become easily blurred. In the medical world, we use jargon such as “insulin dependent” or “juvenile onset”. Over time, we have made progress in truly defining these terms on a more standard basis, so that individuals and families can obtain the information they are seeking from appropriate sources. The internet often serves as a primary source of information, but the information obtained can be misleading. For this reason, most primary care physicians try to stick with the terms, Type 1 and Type 2. Factors used to aid in their differentiation include body characteristics, age, insulin resistance, family history, and the presence of certain biochemical markers. Still, with increasing incidence of Type 2 diabetes in children, making the final diagnosis can be challenging even to an experienced clinician. what causes it?

Risk factors for diabetes are multiple. Genetic links are often an immediate interest for parents. Type 1 diabetes is significantly increased in close relatives with reports as high as 30% when both parents are affected. Twins are associated with a 50%–90% lifetime risk if they are identical and 8% if they are fraternal. For Type

2 diabetes, it appears the risk is roughly 40% if one parent is affected and increases to 60% if both parents are affected. Ethnicity is also considered heavily when weighing risk. Native Americans, African-Americans, Asian-American, and Pacific Islander children carry a higher risk for developing diabetes. Girls are more likely to develop Type 2 diabetes, but boys tend to have higher percentages in Type 1 diabetes. There are disease states that are associated with causing diabetes including

our society has exposed our children to a world filled with technological wonder we live, work, and eat in a fast-paced world

Jill Henning, Agent

Bus: 701-893-3000

jill@jillhenning.net

Family is why we do it all.

We all feel the same commitment to care for our families. Helping you meet your insurance needs is part of my commitment to you. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.® CALL ME TODAY.

0907504

cystic fibrosis, Cushing’s syndrome among others, and certain drugs have been found to be associated with its development. Finally, for Type 1 diabetes, there are several environmental factors that may play a role, but many are still under study. Type 2 diabetes has more concrete environmental factors including a direct link to obesity, specifically children with BMI greater than or equal to the 90th percentile. At the 85th percentile, children’s risk increases substantially as well.

what’s the treatment?

Treatment of diabetes exists in many forms and requires a team of providers. The focus is on tight glycemic, or sugar, control. Dieticians and diabetic educators are essential members of the team, along with an endocrinologist or primary care provider comfortable with pediatric diabetes. With children, parents are critical members of this team and are expected to be actively involved. Over time, the patient becomes the primary team leader.

Certainly, when one thinks of diabetes, insulin immediately comes to mind, and yes it is used widely and effectively. There are a variety of forms of insulin, including long-acting, short-acting, once daily, oral analogues, and even a pump. Insulin continues to be an efficient medicinal way of managing this complex disease process. Oral medications are too numerous to name, and more injectables make their way to the market every year. Research is the key to solving the problem that has become the diabetic epidemic.

what else can you do?

Let us not forget the power of prevention! While Type 1 cannot be prevented, diabetes may have factors that increase its likelihood in certain populations. We may not be able to change our heritage or genetics, but we do hold the power to alter many of these risk factors, and/or be more proactive in addressing them head-on:

• i.d. it Screening should begin at age ten or at onset of puberty, if children are at a BMI in the 85™ percentile or greater and have two or more risk factors such as family history, belonging to a high risk ethnic group

State Farm, Bloomington, IL

2511 Kirsten Lane S Fargo, ND 58104

roughly 30% of middle school children watch more than three hours of television on school days

as mentioned above, have signs of insulin resistance as determined by the medical provider, or maternal history of gestational diabetes or diabetes.

• lose it & move it Research shows us that weight loss and regular exercise can lead to improved glycemic [sugar] control in patients with diabetes or in those with the pre-diabetic state, also referred to as impaired glucose tolerance. Recommendations are around 5–10% weight loss in conjunction with approximately 30 minutes of physical activity a day. Even in Type 1 diabetics, these two things can often lead to improved control of diabetes thereby leading to better overall health outcomes. So, exercise with your children! Go for a walk or bike ride after dinner, even if for fifteen minutes.

• burn it Smoking cessation has been linked to improved control of diabetic states. North Dakota has a rate of roughly 21% of tobacco use among individual in grades 9–12. So, be a good example and stop it! It’s just bad for you!

• eat it together Sitting down with your children to eat one meal a day can greatly impact their food intake and choices. According to the North Dakota

Department of Health, 90% of high school students and more than 80% of students in middle school eat fewer than the recommended five fruits and vegetables daily. Take time to cook with your children, and consider starting a small garden. Involving children in food preparation makes them accountable members at your dinner table. Not only will you see a hopeful change in their eating habits, but you just might reconnect with that distant teenager.

• turn it off Roughly 30% of middle school children watch more than three hours of television on school days. Make yourself accessible and mimic good behaviors. Exercise and eating healthy benefit the whole family, including you, Mom and Dad! Remember to work on smoking cessation!

with current trends, 1 out of 3 children born today will develop diabetes during their lifetime

• improve it Finally, get involved in legislation at the local, state, and national level that impacts our children’s health. Physical education in schools is important and has been shown to increase blood flow to the brain, thereby aiding in improving cognition and focus. North Dakota studies have shown that less than adequate activity levels are reached in 52% of high school students and 37% of middle school children. Healthy food choices should be part of our school menus!

Parenting is a challenge in and of itself on a daily basis. Our society has exposed our children to a world filled with technological wonder. We live, work, and eat in a fast-paced world. How do we, as health providers and parents, help to make these inevitable changes safe and healthy? Get involved and be aware! It takes a community to raise a successful, healthy, and secure child, so be your child’s advocate! After all, we all signed up for this job whole-heartedly!

references

1. The Burden of Diabetes Mellitus in North Dakota 2009. North Dakota Department of Health.

2. Epidemiology, presentation, and diagnosis of type 1 diabetes mellitus in children and adolescents. Levitsky and Misra. Up to Date. Uptodate.com

3. Epidemiology, presentation, and diagnosis of type 2 diabetes mellitus in children and adolescents. Laffel an Svoren. Up to Date. Uptodate.com

4. Prediction and prevention of type 2 diabetes mellitus. McCulloch and Robertson. Up to Date. Uptodate.com

5. Prevention of type 1 diabetes mellitus. McCulloch and Pietropaolo. Up to Date. Uptodate.com

6. Effects of exercise in diabetes mellitus in children. McCulloch and Anding. Up to Date. Uptodate.com

North Dakota Heart Gallery

Beingthe parent of a recently diagnosed diabetic child can be, well…terrifying!

Deb Uglem, Moorhead mom of four, knows the feeling. Her daughter Emily, now thirteen, was diagnosed one month before her second birthday. Deb offers these pointers for parents just entering the diabetic world:

• One of Emily's favorite snacks…popcorn! Three cups has 150 calories and only 18 grams of carbohydrates.

• Fruit snacks don't melt in your purse! The single serving packages they come in make for a great snack during the ‘lows’ [low blood sugar] diabetics sometime get.

• My family stores nonperishable food everywhere! Emily's gym bag, locker, school nurse office, every car we drive, purse, etc…everywhere! Emily doesn't leave the house without food! It helps to be prepared for the ‘lows.’

• Halloween can be tricky [get the pun?!]. The year Emily was diagnosed we started a new tradition. The kids would all go out trick-or-treating and collect as much candy as they could, but Emily would trade her candy in for a trip to Target to pick out a toy. We would head to Target Halloween night and it worked like a charm! The boys ended up trading in their candy each year too. It is nice to not have the temptation of the candy sitting around the house.

october events

6 & 14

Wolf Talk

701.277.9240

www.redriverzoo.org

Head to the Red River Zoo at 10:00am & spend some time watching the wolves. Discover why they howl, what they eat & why they remind us of our pet dogs.

7, 14, 21 & 28

Car Seat Safety Check

701.234.5570

www.north.sanford.org

Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! Make an appointment be at the Safety Shoppe [601 39th St N, Fargo] between 3:00pm–6:00pm. This is a free event, but registration is required. Also note that it takes a minimum of 30 minutes per car seat per car.

9 Step Out: Walk to Fight Diabetes

Grab your walking shoes and get ready for a fun-filled morning of exercise, food and festivities at the Urban Plains Center. Register or request more information online at www.diabetes.org/stepout or by calling

the American Diabetes Association office at 701.234.0123 or 888.DIABETES. Together we can stop diabetes. One step at a time.

9

Kid Quest Color My World

701.232.3821

www.plainsart.org

Discover symbols unique to our area in James Rosenquist’s painting, The North Dakota Mural, as inspiration for your own watercolor painting at the Plains Art Museum from 10:00am–Noon. You will learn special water color techniques that will make your painting a true work of art. This is a FREE event, but preregistration is required.

11

Registration Deadline for Youth Journeys

701.356.1500

www.hrrv.org

Register by today for Youth Journeys, which is a day filled with activities and support for young people ages 6-18 who have had someone they love die. Portions of the day will include parent/ guardian participation. A nominal free

will be charged. Youth Journeys will take place on October 16th at the Fargo office of Hospice of the Red River Valley [1701 38th St S, Fargo]. For more information or to register, call 701.356.1500.

11 & 14

Pajama Jamboree

701.241.1495

www.fargolibrary.org

Join us for Pajama Jamboree, a family storytime featuring bedtime stories at 6:30pm in the children's area at the downtown Main Library on the 11th & at the Dr. James Carlson Library on the 14th. Families are welcome and kids can wear their PJs.

12 & 14

Zombie Party for Teens

701.476.5978

www.fargolibrary.org

The Zombie Party for Teens [ages 13-19] at the Main Library on the 12th and at the Dr. James Carlson Library on the 14th. Zombie make-up, food and a zombie walk-off. Starts at 4:30pm .

15

RACC Harvest Moon Fling

701.293.7273

www.raccfm.com

Support the Rape And Abuse Crissis Center with a night of fun at the Courtyard by Marriot in Moorhead from 7:30pm–11:00pm. Wine Tasting, silent auction, hors d'oveuvres and live entertainment will fill the night. Call or go online for ticket information.

15 & 16

Homeless and Hungry

Homeless and Hungry is a community wide event that draws attention to the issues of poverty and starvation within the metro area. Participants fast for 30 hours, sleep in boxes during the night, and develop a greater awareness of the issues facing our community.

16

Woman's Showcase

www.fmwomensshowcase.com

Women's Showcase offers a great day of fun with hundreds of exhibitors, great seminars and more at the Fargodome! Doors open at 9:00am.

19

SHARE Pregnancy & Infant

Loss Support

701.234.7500

www.north.sanford.org

This nondenominational group offers support to those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss, stillbirth or within the first few months of life. Meeting are head on the 3rd Tuesday of every month at 7:00pm at Faith United Methodist Church [19th Ave. N, Fargo].

23

Freaky Friday Night

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

Vampires, ghosts and skeletons welcome! Everyone wear a costume and “monster mash” the night away at the Fargo Youth Commission 6:30pm–9:00pm. $3 fee.

24

Night Eyes Halloween Event

701.277.9240

www.redriverzoo.org

Come in costume and enjoy trick or treating throughout the zoo along with other spooky activities from Noon–7:00pm.

25

Pediatric First Aid Class

701.364.1704

www.fmambulance.com

This course covers basic first aid of children. Located at F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo] starting at 7:00pm. $35 fee. Register online.

27

Why is Math so Difficult?

218.359.0505

www.readingtherapycenter.com

Attend this FREE session at the Reading Therapy Center and learn why some children

struggle to learn money skills, place value and number patterns, what Dyscalculia is, what number sense is & the answers to other questions. 6:30pm–8:30pm. Registration required.

28

Why Do Some Children

Struggle Learning to Read?

218.359.0505

www.readingtherapycenter.com

Dyslexia used to be thought of as “seeing words backwards,” however the last 20 years of research have proven this untrue. So why do some children struggle in learning to read? Attend the Reading Therapy Center’s FREE session & learn more. 6:30pm–8:30pm. Registration required.

30

Family Fall Festival

www.beingecochic.com

Games,fun activities, hay bale maze, pumpkin decorating, face painting, in

store promotions/discounts & more at Eco Chic starting at 3:30pm!

30 & 31

Not Too Scary Haunted House

701.232.6102

www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org

Enter the Not Too Scary Haunted House at Yunker Farm if you dare! Play great ghoulish games & create creepy crafts throughout the museum. Kids [and kids at heart], wear your costume & receive a special prize!

31

Community Halloween

Carnival

701.237.4805

www.courtsplus.org

Get to Courts Plus on University Drive for a mix of carnival games and inflatables from Games Galore. All youth will receive a free Halloween Bag for attending. This is a FREE event 6:30pm–9:00pm.

grew up with six brothers that's how i learned

—Bob Hope

november events

2

4, 11 & 18

10 & 18

Doula Meet & Greet

http://doulasrrv.org

Join us for a monthly Doulas of the Red River Valley Meet & Greet in the lower level small meeting room of the Moorhead Library . With several doulas attending this free meeting, you are able to get your questions answered and talk informally. Children are welcome if attended by their caregivers [no childcare available during meetings].

4 North Dakota Heart Gallery

www.ndheartgallery.org

Join us at the Plains Art Museum for this riveting portrait exhibit of North Dakota’s children who are hoping to find a “forever family,” and to learn more about foster parenting and adoption in North Dakota.

Car Seat Safety Check

701.234.5570

www.north.sanford.org

Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! Make an appointment be at the Safety Shoppe [601 39th St N, Fargo] between 3:00pm–6:00pm. This is a free event, but registration is required. Also note that it takes a minimum of 30 minutes per car seat per car.

6

Kid Quest Animal Artology

701. 232.3821 visit www.plainsart.org

Think like artist, Andrea Carlson, and use your imagination to create your own breed of animal at the Plains Art Museum from 10:00am–Noon. Finger puppets are a kid’s best friend, and during this Kid Quest you can create a zoo of fun, furry friends along with a stage for performances. This is a FREE event, but preregistration is required. Call or go online to register.

Rodent Rendezvous

701.277.9240

www.redriverzoo.org

What do porcupines, prairie dogs and squirrels all have in common? They’re all rodents! Head to the Red River Zoo at 10:00am on the 10th and 2:00pm on the 18th for some rodent fun!

12

Junior League Jubilee

701.235.8815

www.fmjrleague.org

Enjoy an evening of appetizers, wine tasting, silent auction, live music & more! Support the women of the FM Junior League & their efforts in building better communities for woman & kids. 7:00pm–11:00pm at the Hilton Garden Inn.

13 & 14

Holiday Homes of Hope... Walking Tour

www.cfanorthdakota.com

A special tour, craft & bake sale to benefit area people living with Cystic Fibrosis.

November 13th, 10:00am–5:00pm & November 14th, 1:00pm–5:00pm. For more information or ticket inquiries,call Lisa Backlund at 701.235.4515 or fmkoa1@cableone.net.

16

SHARE Pregnancy & Infant

Loss Support

701.234.7500

www.meritcare.com

This nondenominational group offers support to those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss, stillbirth or within the first few months of life. Meeting are head on the 3rd Tuesday of every month at 7:00pm at Faith United Methodist Church [19th Ave. N, Fargo].

17

Junior Artist

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

Spend an afternoon with your child at the Robert D. Johnson Rec Center exploring the world of art from 1:30pm–2:30pm.

Brenda Jacobson

17

Why is Math so Difficult?

218.359.0505

www.readingtherapycenter.com

Attend this FREE session at the Reading Therapy Center and learn why some children struggle to learn money skills, place value and number patterns, what Dyscalculia is, what number sense is & the answers to other questions. 6:30pm–8:30pm. Registration required.

18

Why Do Some Children Struggle Learning to Read?

218.359.0505

www.readingtherapycenter.com

Dyslexia used to be thought of as “seeing words backwards,” however the last 20 years of research have proven this untrue. So why do some children struggle in learning to read? Attend the Reading Therapy Center's FREE session & learn more. 6:30pm–8:30pm. Registration required.

20

On the Plains

701.277.9240

www.redriverzoo.org

Be at the Red River Zoo 2:00pm–3:30pm & discover a variety of plants and animals that can be found on the plains of North Dakota.

20

B.L.A.S.T. Babysitter's Day Camp

701.364.1704

www.fmambulance.com

The initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. They will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper changing techniques, also learn about when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.

20

Fall 2010 Down Syndrome Conference

Be at Hope Lutheran Church South from 8:30am–1:00pm for this FREE confer-

ence. Free childcare also provided. For more information or to register, call or email Kara Jones [701.526.3240 or karaljones@gmail.com] or Liz St. Louis [701.212.7877] or estlouis4@gmail.com]

20

Awesome Art Afternoon

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

Come and spend an afternoon of creative fun & exciting art projects at the Robert D. Johnson Rec Center. Children will be able to create a variety of art projects to take home. 1:00pm–300pm. FREE event.

22

Pediatric First Aid Class

701.364.1704

www.fmambulance.com

This course covers basic first aid of children. Located at F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo] starting at 7:00pm. $35 fee. Register online.

23 Holiday Lights Parade

701.241.1570

www.fmdowntown.com

Kick off the holiday season with the Downtown Holiday Lights Parade starting at 6:30pm.

25

Thanksgiving

Be thankful everyday, but I'm thankful turkey, potatoes, stuffing & pie isn't everyday!

27 & 28

Santa Village Opens

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

Santa & Mrs. Claus open the village at Rheault Farm with elves, live reindeer & sleigh rides!

december events

1

2, 9, 16, 23 & 30

4 & 5, 8–12, 18–23

Bowls for Babies

701.235.5530

www.marchofdimes.com/northdakota

March of Dimes Annual Fundraiser for the babies. Your $15 ticket allows you to come select a uniquely artistic bowl, sample soup from several locally owned restaurants & then keep the bowl as a souvenir! Ramada Plaza Suites from 11:00am-1:30pm.

1

Breastfeeding Support Group

www.innovishealth.com

This monthly breastfeeding support group provides education & support to breastfeeding moms.Class is held from 6:00pm-7:00pm at Innovis Health on 32nd Ave. No registration required.

Car Seat Safety Check

701.234.5570

www.north.sanford.org

Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! Make an appointment be at the Safety Shoppe [601 39th St N, Fargo] between 3:00pm - 6:00pm. This is a free event, but registration is required. Also note that it takes a minimum of 30 minutes per car seat per car.

4

Kid Quest 'You Say It's Your Birthday!’

701.232.3821

www.plainsart.org

Well, it might not be your birthday, but we are celebrating anyway at the Plains Art Museum from 10:00am-Noon! You will be given materials to sculpt a oneof-a-kind arrangement that can be used to decorate the top of a birthday cake, a gift or whatever else your heart desires. This is a FREE event, but preregistration is required.

Santa Village

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

Santa & Mrs. Claus are at Rheault Farm to celebrate the holiday season. Open 1:00pm-7:00pm December 4 & 5, 4:00pm8:00pm December 8-10, 15-17, 20-22 and 1:00pm-8pm December 11, 12, 18, 19 & 23.

4 & 5

Comstock House Holiday

Treats & Tours

218.291.4211

www.cityofmoorhead.com/parks

Come tour the Victorian Home of Moorhead Pioneer, Solomon G. Comstock, at the Comstock House [506 8th St S, Moorhead]. Enjoy holiday treats, and more 1:00pm4:00pm. Admission is $4.00, $2.00 for MNHS members, FREE for children 5 and under.

7 Basic Training for Dad

www.innovishealth.com

Adjustments to fatherhood, what to expect from a newborn baby & how to support mom are some of the topics discussed in this class at Innovis.Class starts at 6:30pm. Register online.

8 & 16

Pandamonium

701.277.9240

www.redriverzoo.org

Discover the differences between the giant panda & the smaller, red panda. For ages 4-6, be there at 10:00am on the 8th or 2:00pm on the 16th.

All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area it is encouraged organizations submit events for consideration to info@onthemindsofmoms.com

9

11

27

27–29

Baby Sign Parent Workshop

701.234.5570

www.north.sanford.org

This Parent Workshop is specially designed for expectant parents & parents of children from birth to 24 months of age. The workshop is at MeritCare hospital in the auditorium 6:30pm-8:00pm.You will learn all you need to know to begin using Baby Signs® at home. There is a $50 fee and registration is required.

10–12

Pippi Longstocking

701.235.6778

www.fmct.org

Head to the Fargo Community Theatre and take in Pippi Longstocking. Show starts at 7:30pm on the 10th & 11th and 2:00pm on the 12th.

Create & Explore

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

Let your children explore their universe through a variety of hands-on activities & projects at the Robert D. Johnson Rec Center. For ages 4-8 from 10:00am-11:30am.

21

SHARE Pregnancy & Infant

Loss Support

701.234.7500

www.north.sanford.org

This nondenominational group offers support to those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss, stillbirth or within the first few months of life. Meeting are head on the 3rd Tuesday of every month at 7:00pm at Faith United Methodist Church [19th Ave. N, Fargo].

Pediatric First Aid Class

701.364.1704

www.fmambulance.com

This course covers basic first aid of children. Located at F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo] starting at 7:00pm. $35 fee. Register online.

Sleigh Rides

218.299.5340

www.cityofmoorhead.com/parks

Enjoy a scenic ride along the Red River through Viking Ship Park in a horse drawn sleigh from 1:00pm-4:00pm. After the ride, warm up with cookies and hot cocoa inside. No advance reservations or tickets are needed. Tickets are sold on a first come, first served basis. Rides are $4.00 per person [children 2 & under are FREE].

families are like fudge—mostly sweet with a few nuts

—Author Unknown

Since 2007, Ursula Hegvik, founder of Smart Spaces, has designed and installed more than 600 closets, pantries, drawers and displays in over 300 homes and businesses in the FM area. With degrees in Organizational Communication and nearly seven years of experience in the industry, Ursula’s love for design and creating functional spaces came after graduate school. As a designer for California Closets in the Twin Cities, Ursula had the opportunity to meet clients in their homes, listen and access their needs and design their ideal space, a responsibility she says was the perfect job. After meeting and marrying husband, Shawn, and returning to the area, Ursula began researching and planning what would become Smart Spaces, her dream profession.

mompreneur

ursula hegvik smart spaces

A residential and commercial focused business, Smart Spaces is able to create unique locker systems for office/desk spaces, large display systems for companies, and still maintaining a one-on-one approach with homeowners looking for a closet or pantry make-over or starting from scratch a new construction project. Now entering her third year in business, Ursula has found a balance between successful business owner and being mom to, 2-year-old Oliver and baby #2 due this Spring. And although days don’t always go according to play, Ursula always finds great joy in her work and satisfaction when completing a project and witnessing the reaction of the client the first time they see the finished product. Those reactions are a true testament to her personal commitment and the success of Smart Spaces.

why did you decide to own your own business?

I grew up [in Detroit Lakes] in a family-owned and -operated business with entrepreneurial parents, so you might say it’s in my blood. I’ve always wanted my own business. But I also wanted to be a stay-athome mom. Running Smart Spaces allows me the flexibility to be at home most of the time and to direct my own schedule.

how do you balance work and being a mom?

I have a lot of help! My husband is really terrific. Shawn is great for business advice and he’s also a wonderful, hands-on dad. He works hard (at Border States Electric) but also manages to give us plenty of his time. My mom is very active in our lives, too- she

and Oliver are very close. Plus, Shawn’s parents visit often and are very helpful during home shows, etc. It takes a village!

what three words best describe Smart Spaces? Beauty. Organization. Satisfaction.

what has been the most challenging part of being a mompreneur?

Growing the business and our family at the same

time! I often design during naptime or after Oliver goes to bed. Sometimes life feels overwhelming, but I’m at my best when I’m challenged. I always strive to be a better mom, wife, business woman, friendand I don’t always get it right, but then I try harder.

how did you choose the name of your business?

My mom came up with that one! I wanted a name that meant more than "just closets" since custom closet systems can be applied to very unique spaces such as home offices and craft rooms. I liked how my mom's idea also conveyed a promise of what the client can expect- good, smart designs!

what can perspective clients expect when meeting with you?

I’m very detail-oriented. Clients can expect to be asked questions about their space, wardrobe, lifestyle, etc. I strive to provide the very best solution not only for their physical area, but also for their wants and needs. My designs will maximize space while providing a system that is beautiful and user friendly.

what is the biggest misconception of your business?

Probably that closets are “just shelves and poles.” There’s SO much more to it than that! Smart Spaces’ closets are like custom-built furniture designed specifically for your home and lifestyle. away from the business, what can we find you doing?

Playing with Oliver and Shawn! We love to jog or bike to parks. I also enjoy reading, cooking and LOVE to travel.

what advice would you share with other budding mompreneurs?

Make lists- get things out of your head and onto paper. Set goals. Do not allow negative thinking or “yeah, buts” – instead say, “I can and I will!” Ask for advice from successful people. Be productive and happy- those are both choices! Thank you, Mom, for teaching me those things!

the greatest compliment you’ve gotten?

I’ve received a lot of really terrific feedback and that

always makes me feel so great! My favorite is from a woman whose husband was hesitant about the project. After it was completed, she wrote me a note expressing how much they both liked the closet, and that her husband was now the one planning to do their kids’ closets!

what is the most unique space you have created or made over?

I recently designed a craft room that will be so totally cool and functional! This scrapbooker will have special shelves for her different papers, drawers and baskets for all her scrapbooking accoutrements, and there are other neat features as well. We also recently installed a home office that is beautiful and very user-friendly. Three people will have their own space but also be able to easily work together.

do you work with local venders?

Yes, I purchase from both local and national vendors. anything else you would like to share?

My installers are really terrific guys. They are reliable, hard-working, and up for any challenge I throw at them. I appreciate their attention to detail and their honest consideration for the client.

Smart Spaces

Phone: 701.200.8770

Website: www.SmartSpacesFargo.com

spinach, chicken & wild rice soup

The cool crisp air of the Fall season has landed upon us and it’s only in our nature to pull out those comfort must-haves to take the chill off. Who wouldn’t agree soup is one of those comfort foods that we all have a spot for. Here is not only an easy, no non-sense, delicious recipe, but it’s also a health conscious, diabetic friendly option for you to consider. Sure to be a savory taste that will not disappoint.

photo: thuen design | scott thuen

prep: 15 minutes

cook: 7–8 hours [low] or 3–4 hours [high]

serves: 6

what you need:

• 3 cups water

• 1 14-ounce can reduced-sodium chicken broth

• 1 10¾ -ounce can reduced-fat and reduced sodium condensed cream of chicken soup

• 2/3 cup wild rice, rinsed and drained

• ½ teaspoon dried thyme, crushed

• ¼ teaspoon black pepper

• 3 cups chopped cooked chicken or turkey [about 1 pound]

• 2 cups shredded fresh spinach

how to make it:

1. In slow cooker combine water, chicken broth, cream of chicken soup, uncooked rice, thyme and pepper.

2. Cover and cook on low-heat setting for 7 to 8 hours or on high-heat setting for 3 to 4 hours. Just before serving, stir in chicken or turkey and spinach.

nutrition facts per serving:

calories – 233

fat – 6g [2g sat.fat]

sodium – 405 mg

carbs – 19g

fiber – 2g

protien – 25g

diabetic exchanges:

½ vegetable

1 starch

3 lean meat

1 fat

source: deb uglem & Better Homes and Gardens Biggest Book of Diabetic Recipes [copyright 2006]

Having one brother and originally from Wheaton, MN, John Bock is a graduate of North Dakota State College of Science. The busy and hardworking husband to Shannon and dad to three darling daughters, Kaitlyn [18], Kiara [14] and Addison [3], John lives to attend his daughters’ activities and enjoys biking, hunting waterfowl, fishing and competitive duck calling.

photos: rialee photography | lindsey johnson

dad

radio station i tune in most…

Some may laugh at this, but I like the PH Factor that is on 550 KFYR out of Bismarck. I also listen to 1300 KBRF out of Fergus Falls as they play a lot of rock music you don’t hear on other stations…I won’t mention those songs as I may date myself!

being a dad to three daughter’s means…

There are many days I have to figure out how to “think and act like a girl” just to survive in my house!

my favorite gas station goodie grab…

Beef jerky

Energy

i am most fearful of the way we take care of the environment It is sad to see so much of our natural habitat being destroyed by people’s complacency

rad dad

people might be surprised that i…

Do most of the cooking in our house and really enjoy it. someday i want my wife to experience…

A romantic vacation. We never went on a honeymoon and all these years later we still haven’t taken a vacation without children.

my family would describe me as…

A down to earth, laid back guy who “tries” to be funny!

the time of year i enjoy most…

The fall. One of my favorite past times is hunting ducks, so as the summer winds down I am usually spending my time getting geared up for duck hunting season.

last time i yelled at the TV…

My wife said, “I don’t see you out there on the field playing, so quit thinking you know more than they do!”

I could be a product spokesperson for…

Rich-N-Tone duck calls

tool or household device i couldn’t live without…

Tape measure. I use it daily in my work.

I hope one day my girls…

Will achieve all of their hopes and dreams and take advantage of all of life’s opportunities. And maybe someday, one of them will give me a grandson to go hunting with!

my coolest dad moment…

Was the birth of my daughters. Each of their births were a unique experience and will always hold special memories for me.

I’m pretty good at… Duck calling

Eat your soup. It’s good for you.

And it’s good for the babies of North Dakota. Come enjoy delicious soup from your favorite restaurants, and choose your favorite bowl designed by local artists. Keep the art as our thanks for helping deliver healthy, thriving babies.

Eat the soup. Keep the bowl.

Savory soups, bread and bowls donated by:

Granite City Food & Brewery

Hotel Donaldson Restaurant

Basie’s Restaurant

December 1, 2010

Ramada Crystal Ballroom

11:00 am – 1:30 pm

Tickets: $15

i can honestly say I have no regrets I try to live my life to the fullest and take advantage of every opportunity I can!

W.F. Maxwell’s Usher’s House Texas Roadhouse

Doolittles Woodfire Grill Local Artists

my dream job…

I would love to be a representative for a waterfowl company.

I am most fearful of…

The way we take care of the environment. It is sad to see so much of our natural habitat being destroyed by people’s complacency.

something i miss from my childhood…

Buying and trading football and baseball cards.

last time i did laundry…

Last night!

I still regret…

I can honestly say I have no regrets. I try to live my life to the fullest and take advantage of every opportunity I can!

there are many days I have to figure out how to “think and act like a girl” just to survive in my house!

photography by mandy

skyloft photography

classic photography

te photography

te photography

shutter bug

skyloft photography

tiny sprout portraits

classic photography

photography by mandy

running with the pack

What's on my mind? What an interesting question... really, what isn't on my mind at any given time. This spring, my main thoughts revolved around running. I was over-zealous back in January and agreed with a friend to sign up for the 10K in the Fargo Marathon. It honestly seemed like a good idea at the time. Of course I'd dedicate hours to running each week to ensure I did a good job. But as time went on, reality started sinking in...

I'm a horrible runner. I'm slow, sweaty and seem to never improve. That frustrates me greatly. I should be good at it, I want to be good at it, but I'm really just not. I'm not a 'natural' athlete, but I can move without falling down most days. So, why in the world can't I be a runner?

Of course, I promised myself I would put so much time into it. Because as a mother who works full-time, has two crazy boys, and an inability to say no to any extras, I always have a ton of spare time in the first place. And besides, life always goes according to plan and nothing unexpected ever happens. What was I thinking? I know better than that. But still, I'd really like to be in the race...

I voiced my irritation to my doctor at my appointment in March, "look at the weight I've gained in the last year!" and "I'm trying, but why can't I get in better shape!" I really like my OB/GYN, she's the one who delivered my babies and she's easy to talk to like a friend. She smiled at me, "why can't you be happy with yourself? You've been

story by | becky lahlum

photo: thuen design | scott thuen

through so much in a couple years; cut yourself some slack sometimes." That's maybe why I like her so much. She's a much more upbeat visit than the appointments I have with my oncologist.

Yep, that's right...my cancer doctor. One of the hardest lessons I received is how life is a journey, and not always about the race. It was almost three years ago now; I was thirty-one when I threw up in the clinic parking lot after hearing the words ‘you have cancer’. I was diagnosed with an early stage, but aggressive ovarian cancer. So two surgeries, several CT scans, many appointments and hundreds of blood draws and tests later...here I am.

I like my oncologist just fine too, but the visits are a depressing reminder all the time. I make the trek to the University of MN Women's Cancer Center in Minneapolis just for the office visit. With questions and advice like "are you able to keep up with day-to-day functions?" or "I'd like to hold off on the chemo as long as possible because the chance of recurrence is so great and your cancer is a resistant one"...it's hard to be really pumped up for the appointment.

At least my oncologist never made the comment "with proper care, you should live well into your 40s"; that was the geneticist. As much as I didn’t like that statement, I didn’t like thinking about the alternatives to it either [would I NOT live well into my 40s, would I live poorly past my 40s, etc, etc, etc]. I went ahead and did the testing for cancer genes this spring. Part of this is what sidetracked my good intentions to become a runner. I didn't realize how this would be such an emotional drain for me. I wanted to take a break from the running and wasn’t sure I wanted to even try being in the race anymore. Happily, my tests revealed I show no known disposition to cancer. I cried with relief. I'm tired of cancer. I am tired of thinking about it. I'm tired of worrying about it. But, I'm not tired of talking about it; in fact, it seems I've just started. Oddly, I was embarrassed to tell people I had cancer, especially ovarian cancer. The young breast cancer group...they've got support. I mean, who doesn't like boobs? Their pink ribbons are all over the place. But the ovarian group...not so much. I joined several online support communities since I couldn't find a local young ovarian cancer support group. It's probably best I haven't connected face-to-face...everyone [except for one] I've connected with since my diagnosis has since died. So I quit looking for support that way. It was getting tougher to feel sorry for myself when these people kept dying on me.

what’s on your mind?

I've distanced myself from the cancer crowd, and yet at the same time let myself admit my fear more openly. It's only recently that I can openly say 'when I had cancer', or 'my tumor-marker levels are awesome' or another reference to my cancer without blushing, clamming up and shutting down. In reality, a lot of my fear is in being inadequate. Cancer indicates something wrong, with me and my body. My worries of not measuring up aren't in my ability to survive cancer, it's in my ability to live life the way I want, with my family. I've proven to be way ahead of the race in ovarian cancer, and a race I am winning. A race I’m going to win MY way. Back to the 10K race in May…I was nervous, a little lost and not completely convinced I wanted to be there when I fell in with the crowd on that rainy morning. I started towards the back of the pack with a slow steady pace. After about the 2nd mile marker I realized I was enjoying myself and the crowd around me. I kept my pace through the entire 6 miles and loved the crowd and the quiet at the same time. In hindsight, I wished I would have pushed myself harder and gotten a better time. But I’d been so worried if I pushed too hard, I’d end up walking or even worse…not finishing.

I’ve since run another 10K in June and I improved my time greatly. I wasn’t so worried about how I’d do or how I’d look. I really just wanted to hit that goal of improving my time and run with the crowd again. I had an appointment with my oncologist at the University of MN the next morning and I couldn’t wait to tell her about my running 10Ks [in addition to keeping up with daily functions!].

I’m signing up for another race or two this fall, so I need to start preparing. I really want to be a runner. A good one too. I know I’ll never be fast, but I’d like to hold my own in the race. I don't want to cut myself some slack. That seems like just admitting I'm flawed and I just hate that idea. After all, I’m a mother who works full-time, has two crazy boys and an inability to say no to any extras. I don’t have time to be flawed. So, I guess I'll keep trotting down the road, trying to enjoy the journey...and doing my best to run with the pack during the race.

This section is dedicated to capturing your mom thoughts. Want to share what’s on your mind? Submit your article idea to info@onthemindsofmoms.com along with a short bio for consideration in an upcoming issue.

make memories with family mealtimes

story by | tera miller, MBA, LRD

Whetherwe’re getting home from a long day at the office or finishing up our house hold chores, there’s always that cloud looming over our heads around five o’clock. What to do for dinner? Everyone seems so busy and it often seems impossible to sit down as a family. It appears much easier to drive through, pick something up, and let everyone grab their food and continue what they’re doing. Family mealtimes are important in so many ways and shouldn’t be extinct. We need to preserve the time we have with our children and make them a priority.

Obesity in America is rising and our children are inheriting the adverse affects. Today’s generation of children is the first generation in hundreds of years to have a shorter life expectancy than their parents. We need to stop this trend to get America back on the health track and family meals are just what the doctor ordered.

Study after study has shown us the benefits of family meals. Families eating together generally eat healthier and children develop better eating habits. With America’s expanding waistline, instilling healthy eating habits in our youth is crucial to the future health of our society.

Family meals are the perfect opportunity to teach our children about healthy food options. The healthy habits we teach our children can then be passed on to the next generation for a healthier America.

Make your meals more nutritious by switching to whole grains when serving breads, pastas, or rice. Introduce a new fruit or vegetable each week. Choose low fat dairy products and lean meats. Not only are lean meats healthier, they tend to be easier on the wallet as well. Select cereals that have less than ten grams of sugar and limit the number of sugary beverages.

Get your children involved. Let them pick out the vegetable at the grocery store or the type of noodle for the pasta dish. Kids are more likely to try something they had a hand in making, literally! Depending on their age, let them mix, beat or toss the meal. Have them set the table or lead the prayer. Keeping them involved shows that they are an important part of the family.

Not only are family meals vital to our health, they offer teachable moments and can make memories that will last a lifetime. Sitting down as a family every day keeps the lines of communication open. It allows parents to stay in tune with their children so they can be more aware of any issues affecting their children. Better grades, closer relationships with parents and siblings and lower risk of depression and substance abuse are all outcomes of sharing a family meal.

Okay, so now we know why family meals are so important, but the question is, “How do we find the time to make them happen?” With some creativity, it can actually be just as easily done as said. Family meals shouldn’t be reserved for the evening meal, make them fit into your families’ schedule. Here are some tips to help you start reconnecting with your family:

• Set alarms twenty minutes earlier and start the day off together with a healthy breakfast of whole grain cereal, yogurt and fruit.

• Pack a picnic for the ballpark, gym or other activity that may inhibit a sit down meal at home. Sandwiches made with low fat meats and whole grain breads served with fruit and a treat make an excellent meal for eating together in the bleachers.

• Impossible to get together during the day? Sit down and enjoy an evening treat to discuss each other’s busy day.

Sit down meals don’t have to be extravagant or take the entire day to prepare to make an impact. Try these ideas to make it more feasible to get a healthy homemade meal on the table:

• One night a week serve a salad with whole grain bread and low fat dressing. It takes less than twenty minutes to chop lettuce, meat, eggs and veggies and toss them in a salad bowl.

• Make the slow cooker your best friend. Meals can be prepped the night before and placed in the slow cooker in the morning. As your family arrives home they will be greeted by the smell of a warm home-cooked meal ready to be served.

• Use Sundays to make “extra” meals that can be frozen for a later date. Use these on days when there is no time to make a meal. Simply thaw in the refrigerator the night before and throw in the oven or on the stove top for a quick, healthy, homemade meal.

The time families spend eating together is precious. Family meals are times to connect with family members so set some ground rules. Here are a few examples:

• Turn off the television. Watching television while eating is not only distracting, but causes many people to overeat.

• Put cell phones away and resist answering the phone until mealtime is over.

• Ask that everyone updates the family about what’s going on in their lives and always remember to keep the conversation age appropriate.

Our children have enough challenges the way it is, give them the edge they need to succeed by making mealtimes a priority. Remember to be creative and keep it simple. Try the simple slow cooker recipe on the next page when schedules are tight and you want something other than the ordinary chicken dish.

Brooke Erstad, PT, DPT

Kameron

Ihry Hodem, PT, DPT

Not only are family meals vital to our health, they offer teachable moments and can make memories that will last a lifetime

[Serves 10]

ingredients:

2 ½ lbs boneless, skinless chicken breasts

1 [16-oz] jar salsa

1 medium onion

2 Tbsp curry powder

1 C fat free sour cream

slow cooker chicken curry

Add chicken to the slow cooker. Mix salsa, onion and curry powder together and pour over chicken. Place the lid on and cook on low for 8 to 10 hours [high 4 to 5 hours]. Remove chicken and place in serving dish. Mix sour cream with salsa mixture and pour over chicken. Serve with brown rice. Each serving without rice has 180 calories, 9 g carbohydrate, 30 g protein, 2 g fat, 1 g fiber and 270 mg sodium.

Moms

of gratis living a life

story by | lee hoeld

As the Master neared the temple, he noticed one of his apprentices on his knees, frantically searching around the grounds surrounding the temple. “What are you looking for?” the Master asked his pupil. “I’m searching for a valued coin that I lost,” stated the student. “Where did you lose it?” the Master further inquired. “I lost the coin in the temple,” answered the student. “Then why do you look for it out here, away from the temple?” the Master further asked. “Because there’s more light out here,” the student simply answered.

As a parent, it is not uncommon to spend a substantial portion of any given day searching for that prized personal possession that has been misplaced by your

daughter or son. “Do you remember where you last had the item? Let’s begin searching in the very last place you had it before it was misplaced…” becomes such a common component of our daily vocabulary and conversations with our children.

The expression on a child’s face when they’ve misplaced that favorite blanket, toy or book is one that is not easily mistaken. And it is an expression we each wear on our own face well into our adulthood. As Mark Twain so accurately assessed, “All persons over the age of 40 are responsible for how they look.” If you peer into the morning mirror you may very well see that remnant expression subtly perched on those wrinkles forming in the corners of your eyes. Have you misplaced a prized

photo: thuen design | scott thuen

personal possession recently? Has it been so long ago that you’ve long since forgotten the last place you were when you saw it? And could that prized possession be you?

Over the years I have observed individuals [including myself at times] ravenously searching for appreciation and feeling valued —to the point of filling their evenings and weekends with frantic retreats, increased activities and a faster daily pace, hoping these will address all they need to do, be and accomplish. I have watched individuals desperately wandering in search for that one perfect job, that one ideal relationship, that one great high, that one big break that will make everything just right in their sometimes chaotic life. It seems we often seek outside of our own lives for answers and cure-alls because it would appear there is more light out there… and that valued coin seems to elude us. Might I propose that what so many of us have misplaced or have shelved is what I refer to as a journey of celebrating a life of gratis. The Latin word gratis [the root of the word gratitude] literally translates as “for thanks.” It is seen as a deep and profound thanks—not simply outward, but inward as well. It is not self-indulgent or overinflated, but a simple and profound internal appreciation of oneself. I invite you to join me for a celebration of a life of gratis.

from an advantage point to view life’s circumstances

As a high-altitude climbing enthusiast, I truly enjoy the “here-and-now” aspect of the experience. There can be no distractions while climbing, no checklists, no “I should have done this or that”—just you, your team, the mountain and the moment. From that altitude, the greatest worry seems to diminish to almost nothing. When I’m up there above the clouds, the only thing I seem to think about are those aspects of my life that are most important.

We all need that vista from which to evaluate and better understand Life’s circumstances—the events of our life—from a more panoramic perspective. Many of these events when we are right on top of them, especially within our busied work and lives, can leave us cynical, cold and withdrawn…or afraid to reach out.

I encourage you to find that “higher ground” in your life. It may be with a cherished friend, spouse or partner. It may be a physical location away from work. It may be a faith-based experience or therapy or a daily moment of reflection. We each need to find that higher ground

for ourselves to put our life and our purpose into perspective against the Life events unfolding around us. You owe that to the wrinkles forming on your brow.

points to ponder

• What do you identify as your higher ground?

• Where and when have you been most grateful in your life?

• For what have you been most grateful?

• As for your children, what are you doing to help them find their higher ground, their refuge, and the panoramic perspective about their life?

connect with an aspect of life that is more than your singular life

There is something freeing and satisfying in knowing we are not the center of the universe. In fact, I don’t think any of us wake up in the morning hoping that we would be the sole center of attention and controller of all the action. For most of us, we just want to be a part of the action. You, my friend, are a life of true worth, living in a world of purpose and order. Go out and gaze up into the heavens tonight—believe there is order and you are an important part of it.

Happiness, like gratitude, is an inside job. It doesn’t come from anything that happens to you. As one author wrote, “…when people work on being kind, helpful, and reliable, happiness sneaks into their life.” Life comes to us as we give it away. The quickest way to an emotional death is to be on the receiving end of everything. We need to give.

Do things to make people feel important. Volunteer. Be part of a movement whose focus is on envisioning a better world. Write letters of thanks. Give compliments. Say “thank you.” Praise your children, family, friends and colleagues often, support them even more, challenge and encourage them the most.

points to ponder

• If you were to leave your present position, what would be missed by your staff, your supervisor, your colleagues, and your customers?

• If you were to be absent or nonexistent in your marriage/relationship, family and/or community, what would be missed?

cultivate a greater sense of self-perspective

There is nothing more valuable in one’s life than a healthy sense of self-perspective. It has been theorized

time and time again that the single most important element of our state of well-being is the way we think of ourselves and our possibilities.

When we develop a clearer understanding of “who” we are as a person, the “how” begins to blossom exponentially. My challenge to you is reserve some the final moments at the end of your day to look at your face again in the mirror. Be honest with yourself as to how your day unfolded and reexamine your motives throughout your daily actions. Where is there still room for gratitude to others and a greater internal appreciation for yourself in your life? Look at the face long and hard and ask yourself, “What story does my face tell? What do I personally and professionally need to live a more outwardly focused life?”

And although it may seem such a simple and mundane task to do, I encourage you to start a “gratitude journal” from an old notebook or a new journal. Challenge yourself to write down five things for which you are/ were grateful each day—grateful for yourself, for others, for events, circumstances. Vow to keep the journal for at least one month. As well, assist your children in developing their own gratitude journal as another powerful form of daily prayer and reflection.

take nothing for granted

Albert Schweitzer stated that to fully understand the feeling of gratitude, we must take nothing for granted. An anonymous author wrote that we often take for granted that which we most cherish. We need to remain hopeful and appreciative of all our circumstances and take nothing for granted, especially that which we value most.

points to ponder

• For one entire day [all day], TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED…a meal, a sunrise, a smiling face, a winter breeze, etc.

• For the entire day THANK EVERYONE FOR EVERYTHING. Thank everyone for every little act of kindness and concern that crosses your path. breathe in, breathe

out

As my final point, I encourage you to simply relax. You are not the center of the universe, but you are valued greatly. You are not indispensable, but you have great worth. Take time to allow that internal and profound appreciation of who you are come out more

and more—anticipate, wonder and dream throughout your days. Go ahead and get out your color crayons again and clarify and redefine your life. Be inspired by all around you and take nothing for granted. Make it your conscious choice and your active verb to remain grateful and focus more on what’s right with your life rather than what’s wrong. Make a conscious effort to help your children to relax as well. It is a hurried world for sure and assisting them to cultivate a life journey of gratefulness for themselves and others can be one of your greatest legacies.

points to ponder

• Identify five persons over your life for whom you are grateful or indebted to [at least three of these persons should be presently living]. Take time to write at least a one-page thank-you letter to those persons identified, with specific reasons for why you are grateful.

• Identify five moments, crossroads or aspects of your overall life for which you are grateful that have occurred or are occurring [they may be presently

pleasing or painful]. Take some time to reflect on those crossroads and aspects—both positive and painful—that have brought new challenges, adventures, skills, etc. to you.

• Identify five aspects, characteristics or qualities of your being for which you are grateful. Find ways to fuel and feed those every day. Then take a look at those around you—your family, your friends, your students, your colleagues, your supervisor—and identify one aspect of their being for which you are grateful… and then tell them.

When I chose to leave my 17-year career in higher education to raise our triplets, I remember telling my supervisor, “I need to let go of some things in my life in order to get a hold of what’s most important in my life.” Perhaps, my friend, it is time for each of us to let go of some of that bright sunlight to reclaim that prized possession and that valued coin. Perhaps it is time we scanned the darkened corners and shadows of that temple inside. To you, I wish you a happy and joyous searching. Peace be your journey.

leading by example

kris wallman

story by | patricia carlson

Isn’t there something you would like to change? Something in our world, country or community? Sure! We all do, right? The difference is many of us don’t do anything about it except talk or complain. Or we may feel like one person can’t really make a difference. But there are people like Kris Wallman. People who, when they see a way to improve something they care about, do something; something for themselves, their children, their community. That’s Kris. When she sees something that needs changing, whether it is personal or professional, she doesn’t look for someone else to do it…she does the research, looks in the mirror, takes a deep breath and charges ahead.

roots

For Kris, life is a process of becoming. Every experience and every opportunity offers lessons to be learned. Kris’ mother and father divorced when she and her two brothers were young. Being raised by a single, full-time working mom taught Kris the value of a dollar and responsibility. “It was kind of ingrained in me to be

photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki

leading by example

self-sufficient,” she says. After graduating from high school, Kris wasn’t sure what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. So she earned her degree in cosmetology and soon after, began working at an upscale salon in Newport Beach, CA.

“I would say hairstyling was a curve along my winding path that gave me invaluable tools I continue to draw on today,” Kris says. “It was so great for me because I was an extremely shy kid and didn’t have a lot of self-confidence. When you get that kind of training you’re sort of forced to interact with people.”

Kris soon caught the eye of leaders in the salon’s training program. They asked her if she would be interested in teaching classes for new assistants. After just a few classes, Kris fell in love with teaching and decided to go back to school. “Maybe it’s in the genes because several members of my family are in education.”

and she found it in an unlikely place. After researching companies that offered tuition reimbursement and health insurance, she found Federal Express.

“You got full benefits even if you just worked part-time so I got a job there working on the tarmac at the airport with steel-toed boots,” she says laughing. “So I went from being a hairstylist and being fancy all day, focused on beauty and appearance and everything, to working at the airport driving these huge pieces of equipment all over.”

After two years at community college, Kris earned her Associate’s degree and was then accepted at the University of California, Berkeley, one of the most prestigious colleges in the United States. But she wasn’t done yet. Her love for knowledge, teaching and research fueled her desire to complete her master’s at San Francisco State University. Kris had no idea SFSU would be a stepping stone to a life in Fargo, North Dakota.

love

It was a setup. Kris was invited to a party where some friends had planned on fixing her up with a guy named Marc. “It turns out everyone at this party [including Marc] knew I was getting fixed up with my husband and I was the only person who didn’t know,” she says. “So I was the only clueless person there!”

While continuing to work at the salon, Kris started with an ethics class at a local community college and was immediately blown away by the class’ professor and content. “It was a turning point for me,” she recalls. “I realized there are a lot of things wrong in the world and I always thought about those sorts of things, but I didn’t realize there were fields that you could study about this stuff—that academic studies could and should be applied to real world problems. There were whole populations of people who did nothing but think about this stuff!”

Kris’ mother, Lana Schwartz, noticed an immediate change in her daughter’s confidence and view of the world as soon as she began taking classes. “She was interested in knowing and finding out everything she could about a subject,” Lana says. “She just developed an excitement about it and she was a good student.”

Kris absorbed academic life and for the first time began to believe she could accomplish anything. But to continue her education, she needed a new job with better benefits

Marc, an Information Technology professional at NDSU, says he was smitten from the start. “I remember looking across the room and seeing her and thought, ‘she looks like a model—are you kidding me,’” he says laughing. Turns out the two had a lot in common. The couple began dating and Marc, being a smart guy, quickly learned that Kris was deeply devoted to her new puppy, Beans. “I remember going to the store and buying treats and slipping them to Beans during our walks,” says Marc. “Beans was normally an aloof dog so Kris was very impressed he took a shine to me.” Marc’s winning strategy was remembered at their wedding in 2000 when the pastor said the fastest way to Kris’ heart was through her dog’s stomach.

Shortly after their marriage, they chose to make their home in Fargo. The move allowed Marc, a Fargo native, and Kris, originally from Ohio, the opportunity to return to their Midwestern values and be close to family. Two years later their son, Noah, was born. The following year a baby girl, Lydia, joined the family.

I would say hairstyling was a curve along my winding path that gave me invaluable tools I continue to draw on today

“We planned that [having the kids close in age] and for the first two years of their lives we thought, ‘what were we thinking, we will not survive this’” says Kris. “But they are really good buddies and it’s the best blessing the other one could ever have.”

As Noah grew, Kris noticed he had a lot of sensory sensitivities—he would cover his ears, had trouble sleeping, struggled with coordination and had issues with food textures. Something told her this wasn’t typical. She expressed her concern to her pediatrician who took a ‘let’s wait and see’ approach. “I knew there was something wrong, but I couldn’t really put my finger on it,” she recalls.

So Kris followed her instincts and began collecting information. She poured through research, reading

books and journals looking for something that reflected what she was seeing in Noah. Then she discovered Asperger Syndrome. That was it. Noah had Asperger’s.

discovery

Asperger Syndrome is a disorder on the autism spectrum. It’s characterized by difficulties in social interaction and restricted patterns of behavior, but is different than other forms of autism in that people with Asperger’s maintain their linguistic and cognitive developments. Physical clumsiness and an atypical use of vocabulary frequently appear in people with Asperger’s, both of which Noah demonstrated. “As he got older, he had really precocious speech, he could speak early and had a vocabulary of someone much older than him—he still does,” explains Kris. “He gets along with adults because he talks like a little professor.”

Marc says Kris’ passion for finding out and ultimately helping identify Asperger’s still amazes him. “I’m in awe that she just figured it out,” he says. “Asperger’s is becoming more well-known, but when we found out, it was very obscure in this region of the country.”

Kris also discovered Noah qualified for schooling through the Southeast Human Service Center, a state-run and state-funded agency for kids with developmental disabilities. When Noah turned 3, the agency recommended an early intervention program for him at public school. Kris says it was a nightmare. “He was in a room with kids who had no speech, who had post-traumatic stress disorder, and a whole lot of other issues,” she explains. “Obviously those kids needed intervention too, but there was all this research coming out about how putting kids with Asperger’s in certain special-education settings was bad placement. I knew there was a window of opportunity for early intervention for kids on the autism spectrum that is critical to their future success.”

Kris spoke to the special-education director who essentially said his hands were tied—this was the only place for Noah in the public school system. “I thought, ‘wow, this seems like a little bit of a broken system here,’” she says. “There were, and continue to be, significant gaps in the early childhood education system for kids on the autism spectrum and we have no comprehensive system in place to assess young children to determine if they have developmental delays until kindergarten. That’s a problem.”

While attending a local support group for parents of extra-needs-based kids, Kris heard the same struggle come up again and again: parents explaining that their kids were misunderstood and that no one seemed to notice or care, or if they did, they didn’t have the necessary tools and resources to help these kids adjust to life and learning in the classroom.

“I found out there is this huge population of kids, around 12% in the Fargo Public Schools that have an IEP, which is an Individual Education Plan,” she recalls. “These kids are supposed to have support at school, but the schools use their own criteria for determining what, if any, help these kids need. So a lot of kids with Asperger’s didn’t qualify because it’s kind of a hidden disability."

Kris, along with a group of other parents and professionals, recognized that if more people [teachers, police officers, bus drivers, politicians] understood these disabilities it would be better for the children with special needs and everyone around them. So they decided to do something about it and in 2006, founded the non-profit Red River Valley Asperger Network [RRVAN].

“What if you’re a working mom, single, four kids, and a kid with Asperger’s – what can you do,” she wondered.

“You can’t advocate for that child as well, you might not even know how or where to get an assessment or a diagnosis. Our kids often get labeled as having emotional or behavioral problems when their issues can be understood and mitigated through an understanding of Asperger’s. I feel the good fortune to be able to do something about that, so it started that way.”

A completely volunteer driven organization, RRVAN’s mission is to educate, empower, advocate and support individuals with Asperger Syndrome, their families and the community. RRVAN has been able to educate families, community leaders and the general public through countless presentations, conferences, health fairs and special events across the region.

“I'm so honored to count myself among the trailblazers that worked hard to promote an understanding of Asperger's,” Kris says. “There is much more to do, but many kids and families are reaping the rewards of the efforts of the Red River Valley Asperger Network because compassion is beginning to replace misunderstanding.”

obligation

Throughout the course of her research on Asperger’s and helping to educate local and state leaders through RRVAN, Kris says she discovered not one member of the Fargo School Board knew much about autism spectrum disorders or had a child with extra needs. “So I figured if 12% of students are on IEPs and there are 9 school board members, at least one of them should have that experience,” she says.

RRVAN’s mission is to educate, empower, advocate and support individuals with Asperger Syndrome

Instead of waiting for someone else to do something about the situation, Kris was encouraged by a mentor to do it herself. In the fall of 2009, she began attending school board meetings in an effort to determine if she could be a valuable addition.

“I think anyone can run for public office if they have a conviction for something and they just listen to what people say,” she says. “I don’t think I would have run if I hadn’t had the message resonate with so many people.”

Kris recalled campaigning on the north side of Fargo. She wanted to know if what she cared about mattered to other people. “What’s the point of running for school board if you care about something no one gives a crap about?”

As she went from door to door she met a man sitting in a lawn chair with his garage door open. She learned his daughter was diagnosed with Asperger’s as a senior in high school. He confided in Kris that he knew all

through school his daughter was smart, but he couldn’t figure out why she was getting bad grades or always getting in trouble.

“I thought, ‘I can help people; I can do something about that,’” Kris recalls. “Here’s this man that out of the blue, I had never met before in my life, who had this story and he said ‘I’m going to vote for you, I’m going to tell everyone I know to vote for you because somebody needs to care about these kids.’” As they both cried, Kris told him, “I’ll do the best I can.”

And in June this year, her hard work paid off. She won a seat on the Fargo School Board and four years to make a difference.

Marc admires the qualities in his wife that help drive her success. “She’s a hard worker, devoted to our family and takes on projects with a seriousness and commitment that is immeasurable,” he says. Marc knows she will make the most of her four-year term.

“I know running for office is an unusual thing to do, but I’m just that crazy about kids,” Kris says. “Kids aren’t one size fits all and education has worked that way for too long. I think I can help make some changes.”

advocate

As a graduate student in San Francisco, Kris struggled with what she wanted to do next. While attending a church service, she learned a lesson she would turn to many times over the years. The pastor spoke about people coming to him when they are lost or struggling with an addiction or a loss and they would ask him ‘What can I do, I feel miserable. What can I do?’

“He said he would always tell them to find a load and pull it,” Kris recalls. “I have repeated this before to other people because it made so much sense to me. Help other people and find something useful to do and do that and then it will come to you. You’ll find your path or a gift you didn’t know you had or you’ll realize there’s such a need for something and then you can be helpful there.”

And she has certainly helped her son. Partly because of Kris’ perseverance and willingness to find a good fit for her son, Noah is making great strides and is currently functioning well in public school.

Lana says she believes this is just the beginning of what her daughter will accomplish as a woman, wife, mother and community leader. “She never considered herself an activist but she is,” Lana says. “I’m so proud that she’s found a voice and a voice to make a difference.”

“I’ve got four years and I’m going to make the best of it and do whatever I can,” Kris says. “I feel like if I make decisions based on my convictions and use the information I have, do good research and talk to teachers, community leaders and constituents and families, I can do something useful in four years.”

Kris Wallman found a load…she didn’t complain about it…she didn’t wait for someone else to do something about…she’s pulling it.

photo: thuen design | scott thuen

grow ready, set the clean on personal hygiene

Hygiene is defined as 1] a science of the establishment and maintenance of health or 2] conditions or practices [as of cleanliness] conducive to health. So let’s get down and dirty and talk about keepin’ the kiddos, washed, clipped, brushed, wiped, shaved and smellin’ sweet…let’s talk personal hygiene.

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

Your wee one is the most beautiful baby ever born. So make sure those razor blades called fingernails don’t gouge up or scar your beauty.

cut above the rest

There are lots of ‘unexpected-s’ when you finally have your wee one home. But who knew just the thought of trimming his nails could strike fear in the hearts of the best mommies on the block? Your wee one’s fingernails will grow quickly and will

probably need to be trimmed weekly, while his toenails should only need a trim monthly. Here are some tips to calm your nerves and get those little digits trimmed:

• timing After a bath can be a great time to cut wee one nails. The nails will be softer and easier to cut and he should be relaxed from his recent soak. Also consider cutting his nails when he is sleeping. You’ll want him to be in a deep sleep; the kind of sleep where his arm is limp.

• tools Any project done right starts with the right tools, so get a clipper that is specifically designed for infants.

• teamwork As a new member of the wee one nail clipping club, have someone else hold your wee one so you can concentrate on the deed at hand. The greatest fear of a first time clipper is drawing blood. The best way to minimize this happening is to depress your wee one’s finger pad away from his nail as you cut. And with someone else holding him, you’ll have two hands to work the clipper and manipulate his finger.

• take it easy Remember, like every new thing you tackle, there is a learning curve, so take your time, but give yourself a break if you do snip junior’s finger. If it happens, apply a little pressure and a dab of antibiotic ointment to the snip. Oh, and of course a little kiss never hurts!

a fingernail completely regrows in 4-6 months, while it takes 12-18 months for a toenail to regrow

tots [18 months–3 years]

2002, the Consumer Product Safety Commission reported almost 40% of bathtub drownings occurred when another child was in the tub

Imagine if you could read your tot’s mind…”So, here’s the deal, mom…I’m a tot and there are some things I find completely revolting. It might be my car seat, going to bed, not letting me eat the plant or what not. Trust that I will do everything in power [i.e. cry, whine, scream, stomp, blow a gasket] to convey my feelings or at least make you miserable until you eventually give up.” While our tots can make things challenging, there are a number of things you can’t just give in to when we are talking about hygiene.

rub-a-dub-dub

Obviously, you need to bathe your tot. Here are a few tips to keep your tot safe and squeaky clean [or close to it]:

• stay Lesson numero uno…DON”T LEAVE YOUR TOT ALONE IN THE TUB! Make sure you’re bathtub is safe as well. Use a non-slip mat or smaller tub with soft sides.

• hot Your tot can be easily scalded if the water is too hot. Make sure your hot water heater is set to 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Don’t control the water heater in your building? Consider getting an antiscalding device like HotStop [www.h2otstop.com]. These shower heads and water spouts, available at Menards, automatically shut off if the water if above 120 degrees.

• fun Keep bath time fun and get some toys. Use toys that are meant for the bath and do your best to completely dry them after use. You don’t want that cute little rubber ducky shooting out mold & fungus!

• down Don’t forget to drain the tub. You never want water standing where your tot could fall into.

uh…NO

So what happens when your tot hates taking a bath? Keep these options in mind when bath time becomes medieval torture for you & that adorable tot:

• the ol’ switcher-oo Try giving him a bath at a different time of the day.

• down size Your big tub might be a little intimidating for your tot, so try a smaller version you can put in the tub. This can offer your tot some needed security.

• look away Don’t let your tot watch the water drain out the tub. Who knows what’s down there & your tot doesn’t need to think he could succumb to the same fate!

• don’t force it Forcing your tot to take a bath when he is frightened is only going to make things worse. Take some time between bath attempts, do some spot cleaning or a sponge bath, but don’t force it.

Our preschoolers are learning independence, which is great. But they still need our help working to refine their recently learned hygiene skills. But how much should you help and when should they be going solo?

teeth tango

You know the importance of a nice healthy smile. Brushing up down, back & forth and in a circle takes some skill and may be difficult for your preschooler

preschoolers

to master. But none the less, it needs to be done twice daily. If your preschooler isn’t a fan of brushing his pearly whites, try these tricks:

• flavor-flave Variety is the spice of life, right? Try different non-fluoride toothpaste flavors and colors to entice your preschooler.

• add some power Your preschooler might have an easier time brushing with a motorized toothbrush and they are really cool!

• inspector You know how important a healthy smile is and how it can be a real confidence booster. Until you are confident he can accomplish the task correctly by himself, make sure you are very involved in your preschoolers tooth brushing.

bottoms up

Can you hear it, “Mom!!! I’m done!” This is your sign to run and wipe some tooshie. It is very important to remember your preschooler is still working on his fine motor skills and there is some coordination required to do this job. It is perfectly fine to help your preschooler, but you need to encourage him to try on his own as well. Consider keeping baby wipes or other wet wipe alternatives close by for your preschooler. They are typically easier to use than regular toilet paper. It might take until the age of five or six for him to do a “good job.” So help your preschooler out, but don’t do it all for him. Just offer a helping hand.

When all else fails and your preschooler is struggling to gain more independence, create a chart. It’s amazing what a little construction paper and a sticker or two can do to promote a desired behavior.

[3–5 years]

the average person spends 3 years on the toilet over the course of a lifetime

big kids [6–9

Hygiene is an important part of our daily lives… forever! Now is the time to teach our big kids why we do these daily tasks so we can insure they grow happy, healthy and are never known as the smelly kid!

clean 101

So, you’ve been at this proper hygiene for a few years now, but now you need to really teach your big kid the hows and whys:

• the germs Now is the time to talk about germs. Explain that germs try to get into our bodies and make us sick and proper hygiene helps us keep these tiny invaders away.

• the wash Washing our hands is the best way to combat germs. Explain the importance of washing if he coughs or sneezes, before eating or preparing foods, after using the bathroom, after playing outside or with an animal and after visiting someone sick.

• the antibacterial Over the course of the last few years, we all should have had stock in the numerous hand sanitizers and other antibacterial products on the market. It’s important to let your big kid know these items are an appropriate alternative to hand washing, but good old soap and warm water are the best option.

• the example The best way to teach proper hygiene is for you to be a model of good behavior. Remember your kiddos are ALWAYS watching and learning how to navigate this world by studying you.

resource for you

The market is full of personal hygiene products for you and your kiddos. Are they all safe? Every mom

should bookmark www.cosmeticsdatabase.com. This is the Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep cosmetic safety database. They score cosmetics and personal care products on a scale of 0–10 [the lower the score, the safer the product]. You can search by ingredient, company or product. It’s easy to get sucked into marketing campaigns and product labels, but this site helps you get through all of that and find the safest products for you and your whole family.

years]

nearly 22 million school days are lost annually due to the common cold alone

years]

As your tweener dives into puberty there are numerous milestones achieved by each gender, but boys and girls alike with inevitably embark on… unwanted hair!

you like short shorts?

Today there are lots of options to remove unwanted hair. You’ve got waxing, plucking, creams, lasers and what not. Well, we’re going old school and talkin’

razors. Here are some shaving tips for your tweener:

• timing for her Your tweener might be ready sooner than others to shave her legs especially if her hair is dark rather than blonde. for him When your tweener begins to grow hair on his face, he will probably want to start shaving as soon as it begins to bother him or you!

• the blade for her & him Options, options, options…and more options when it comes to razors for your tweener. Let your tweener help pick their blade of preference and other accessories such as shaving cream.

• the lesson

· for her Now, your tweener thinks she knows everything, so don’t be surprised if she doesn’t ask you for the how-to. If she does ask, keep it simple. Let her know to shave in the direction the hair grows and to take her time and the importance of shaving with water and a good lather, whether it is soap or shaving cream. for him When your son first starts shaving, he probably won’t need to do his whole face. Starting out, he should shave in the direction his hair grows [with the grain]. Later, he can get a really close shave by going against the grain. Your tweener should shave about half an inch, rinse the razor and repeat until finished. And mom, we know you want to take care of your little boy, but there is no shame in asking a trusted male in your life to offer his expertise in this area.

shaving does not make hair grow back thicker

there are over 250,000 sweat glands in our feet—producing up to ½ cup of sweat a day

Picture it…You’ve been gone for the afternoon. You return home, open the front door and there it is! Something horrible has happened…a squirrel, rat or other small, but larger than wanted, rodent must have died in the house while you were away. The smell is atrocious, but wait…no…it’s his shoes…AAAAHHHHH [bags dropped, hands to the face as you belt out your best psycho scream]!

you smell dat?

If you want to describe something that smells really bad to someone, just say it smells like feet and you will immediately get a scrunched up nose. Nasty! Your maturing teen is sweating more, which can include his feet. Here are some tips to keep your teen tootsies as sweet smelling as possible:

• wash ‘em up If they stink, wash your feet. Your teen should be showering at least once a day and make sure he uses an antibacterial soap and don’t forget to scrub between the toes.

• keep it dry Excessive perspiration and moisture create a breeding ground for bacteria and are the top cause of smelly feet. Keep his feet as dry as possible by changing socks as needed and doing your best to dry out shoes before wearing again. Opt for white, cotton socks rather than other colors. Some dyes can cause feet to smell as well.

• powder & spray it Try an over the counter foot spray or powder. These are designed to keep feet dry and kill fungi.

• ditch it When you have washed and dried and sprayed and the shoes still cause a gauging reflex, throw them away!

It’s important to know that anxiety and different skin conditions can also be a cause of smelly feet. If you have other concerns, it is always a good bet to talk with your trusted physician.

[13–18 years]

Who is Sally?

She is our quintessential, “do-it-all” mom and friend who reminds us to remember the woman behind the mom.

realitycheck

story by | dani parkos fluge

It’s the time of year one can’t help but notice those perennial signs of a new season: the changing of the leaves, the kids have returned to school, and the summer reality TV shows have given away to a new Fall lineup of controversy, fighting and general chaos. Of course we know that these shows are contrived, edited beyond belief, and for the most part supremely useless. And “yes” on an intellectual level we know that investing time and energy watching these shows is ridiculously unproductive. Yet we all must confess that we indulge our craving on a weekly basis.

So I ask you this, what’s your reality TV guilty pleasure and why do we give these programs our ratings? Here are just a few of the hottest time wasters on television and the real reasons we hate [and secretly love] every fist-pump, PDA, food throw down and train wreck all the way from the Jersey Shore to Cupcake Wars.

Jersey Shore

why we hate it: Aside from the stereotypes perpetuated by the show, the tragedy of seeing yet another group of

young adults start their rise and inevitable downward spiral into the Reality Show black hole, is unfortunate to say the least. I think every parent prays their little Snooki or Vinnie isn’t one day airing their dirty laundry on TV.

why we love it: Who can resist a full hour of pure, unadulterated trash that is more like an after dark soap opera but filled with immature drama. There’s also a part of us that can relate to “back when” life was as simple as “GTL”, but now our reality has seen a definite shift from gym, tan and laundry time.

19 Kids and Counting

why we hate it: How much is too much or better yet how many is too many? Could you really imagine having that many kids? It’s probably safe to say 99.9% of the population would go crazy!

why we love it: There is no denying they have their poop in a group. All the kids seem respectful, Jim Bob’s tone remains constant, and you never hear anyone say, “what did you bring me?” upon their parents return. If only TLC could introduce Michelle to Stacey and Clinton from What

Not to Wear for a long-locks make-over to match her flawless skin. Have to admit, she wears hormones well.

Keeping Up With the Kardashians

why we hate it: We already have enough trouble keeping up with the Joneses, but the Kardashian clan is off the chart. With their killer looks and lush lifestyle, these sultry sisters have have worn out their welcome on all media levels.

why we love it: Other than a secret desire to wonder what it would be like to walk a day in their Jimmy Chu’s and have the hereditary hot hairless body and hair to boot, we keep thinking that by watching, we can telepathically convince Kourtney to drop Scott like last season’s Dash inventory. And who doesn’t like Bruce?

The Real Housewives of EVERYwhere!

Really? What happened to leading by example, teaching the value of a dollar or treating others the way you would like to be treated?

why we love it: Because regardless of how crazy we think our nut-house life is, we know there’s a housewife [in Orange County, DC, Atlanta, NY, Beverly Hills] making our lives seem more and more “normal” with every feud and faux pas.

So whether your weekly vice is for rock stars looking for love, wannabe models in verbal cat fights, zany dream designers creating clothes from scrapes, inspiring stories from a Biggest Loser, or the return of the big balls, there is no getting away from the fact that we love to watch reality television. And ladies, it’s really okay to take a break from our own world. After a long day in the real

bed jumping: [ b-ed ], [ juhmp-ing ] – verb, the classic and universal act of weightless joy experienced at any stage in one’s life and can be rediscovered at any time.

photo: rialee photography | ria czichotzki

Join together for breast health awareness

A woman’s lifetime risk for breast cancer is 1 in 8. And nearly 80% of women who get breast cancer do not have a family history of the disease. Join together to protect your sisters, mothers and friends by scheduling a mammogram. Mammograms can find the smallest lumps before they can even be felt.

Women 40 and over

Mammogram yearly

Clinical breast exam yearly

Breast self-awareness

Sanford Clinic Southpointe

Women 20-39

Clinical breast exam every 3 years

Breast self-awareness

7:05 a.m. - 5 p.m. Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

7:05 a.m. - 8 p.m. Tuesday and Thursday

Sanford Main Clinic

7:45 a.m. - 5 p.m. Monday - Friday

To schedule a mammogram, please call (701) 234-7100.