SPRING 2019 / ISSUE 03 / VOLUME 02
Spring 2019
PARENTGUIDE
It's your INSIDE SCOOP How
Began
MINDFULNESS
FERTILITY
My IVF Story
Parent
Resources
HOW TO RESPOND TO
back talk and power struggles
WELCOME Welcome to the Spring Edition! I am so happy to see you here...thank you for spending a few minutes with us! Within the pages of this magazine you will find: unique parenting perspectives a community of love and support articles that answer your toughest questions and resources that you can count on Each of the contributors in this magazine will provide you with their best advice and remind you that you are not alone! We aren’t here to preach and tell you what to do - we are here to love and encourage you on your journey - your unique journey. Please consider reaching out to other parents in our Facebook Group. You don’t know who might need to hear from you, as well as what ideas may resonate with you and make your life as a parent just a bit easier. See you inside.
Jennifer XOXO Jennifer, Mom and Founder of Parent Guide.
P.S. If you are a parent of a teen you will want to check out our new TEEN issue. Click here to access it now! 50 Happy Parenting! 69
PARENTGUIDE 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentguide.ca
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Contributors
THANK YOU! I don't even know where to start when I think about how grateful I am to be here, with you, doing what I love, day in and day out! I mean, just take a look to the right and you will see this super impressive line-up of incredibly talented and accomplished women that helped make this magazine happen! I just hope they each know how much I value their contribution!
Tonia Jahshan Owner of Sipology by Steeped Tea
Nicole Wanamaker Author, My IVF Story
And, you...here, taking time out of your crazy, busy day to spend time with us! Grateful doesn't even begin to express how I feel! And, I really want to get to know you all better. So, here are a few ways that we can stay connected, work together, and if I am lucky, maybe we can even become friends!
Kim Lange Founder of the Emotion Guide Collective
Jennifer McCallum Founder of Parent Guide
Let's Connect Sign up for FREE Daily Encouragement "YOU GOT THIS" Emails Just a little love to remind you how fabulous you are! https://bit.ly/2yX6Ajf Got a business? Become a Parent Guide Member Receive a bundle of ways to grow your business each month while we share you with our parent community. http://parentguide.ontrapages.com/tellmeaboutyourself Want to write for us? We are always looking for new ideas, new perspectives, and expert advice for our parent community. We talk about real issues for modern parents. No fluff - just good, solid advice, examples, stories, and ideas to help make parenting just a bit easier. Contact me at: info@parentguide.ca
Ann Douglas Author, Happy Parents, Happy Kids!
Hari Ghotra Indian Cook & Author
Jancee Dunn Author, How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids
PARENTGUIDE 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentguide.ca
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Jodie Fera & Sasha Judelson Music Together
WHAT'S INSIDE 05 When to stop breastfeeding 06 My IVF Story
15 Back Talk and Power Struggles
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38
18 Mindfulness Tips 23 Book Review - 5 Love Languages
24 Balance and Clarity
26 I hated my husband after having a baby 38 Benefits of Music
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42 The Sipology Story 48 Helicopter Parents 50 Rainbow Unicorn Slime 52 Butter Chicken Recipe 56 Is it a Fever? 59 Resources
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62 Marketplace
PARENTGUIDE 519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentguide.ca
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WE ASKED...
WHEN IS THE BEST TIME TO STOP BREASTFEEDING? YOU ANSWERED...
WHENEVER IT IS RIGHT FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY! Isn't it time we parented without shame! Do what is right for you and if you don't know the answer you can always ask your health care professional for advice. WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA âŽ&#x;5
MY IVF STORY
NICOLE WANAMAKER
We are 1 in 6. That is the Canadian statistic of infertile couples. We were married in 2007 and in 2010 we decided that I would go off the birth control pill and if I got pregnant, I got pregnant. In 2011 I had a miscarriage, I didn’t know I was pregnant until after the fact. It was a shock and a devastation, but we kept trying. In 2012 we started tracking my cycles and basal body temperature to try and pinpoint ovulation. A year later our doctor referred us to a fertility specialist because most couples get pregnant within a year of trying, I was beginning to wonder if something was wrong with me. At this point I was starting to feel uncertain about my fertility and I started questioning myself as a woman and a wife, what if I couldn’t give my husband children? Would he want to stay with me? Would it be fair to expect him to?
Why was my body having a hard time doing what a woman is designed to do? We were placed on the waiting list to see the fertility specialist. The specialist order many tests for us that took months to go through. It was found that both of my fallopian tubes were blocked. A surgery was scheduled to take out my left tube (which was severely damaged and blocked with scar tissue that had built up over the years) and they would attempt to clear my right tube, if not it would be removed as well, leaving me infertile. This was the hardest information to process, I once again started to question who I was and what my future held.
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I started losing faith in my marriage, I was heading down a path of negativity and I was starting to push my husband away. May 20th 2015 I woke up from surgery and started sobbing, a cry I had never cried before. I knew, I just KNEW, both my tubes had been removed. They came in to talk to us and sure enough they were unable to clear my right tube and it was removed as well. Just like that, I no longer felt like a woman. I had this literal and metaphoric hole in me that nobody could see or understand, that’s when the question “when are you having kids?” really hit hard under the surface and made me feel like I was suffocating. I started isolating myself, distancing myself from friends and loved ones, I couldn’t attend baby showers, be around pregnant women or even bring myself to be happy for those around me that were pregnant. It was lonely. People made comments that had the best intentions like “you can always adopt”, “at least there is IVF" and “take my kids for the weekend, you'll change your mind about wanting kids", but they still stung.
I tagged all my pictures with #ttc, #ttcjourney, #infertilitysuck and #ttccommunity and a world of support opened up to me!
After my surgery we got a call from the Fertility Centre with a consultation appointment to discuss our IVF options.
I started connecting with women who were going through the same challenges and emotions.
It was 4 months away, but it felt like forever. When you're infertile or struggling with fertility everything happens at what seems like a snail’s pace, nothing is in your control and you are on someone else’s schedule. You learn a great deal about patience.
I connected with women all over the world who truly understood my struggles and I felt a place of belonging.
During this time I started an Instagram account solely for our journey, to capture this process like a diary. 8⎟ WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA
Knowing I wasn’t alone made a huge difference in my mental state. It softened the blow that infertility delivers and we supported each other through all our vulnerabilities, stresses, losses and successes.
Our appointment came, we discussed our options and decided on a protocol for in vitro fertilization. I had to self inject a hormone that would make my ovaries produce multiple eggs and another injection that would hold off ovulation. I started this process in November 2015. I was monitored every day with an ultra sound and blood work for follicle growth. Once my follicles were ready I did another injection to tell my body to get ready to ovulate. 36 hours later we arrived at the fertility center for them to collect my eggs. My husband was sent off to do his part in his process then returned to join me for the collection of the eggs. Once over, we headed home and were told we would get a call in a few hours with our report. The call finally came, they retrieved 16 eggs and a total of 7 eggs were fertilized and growing.
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On the day of transfer we chose to have two embryos transferred into my uterus to give us a higher chance of getting pregnant. We ended up with only one healthy embryo to freeze for possible future use. Next came the dreaded two week wait for blood work to see if I was pregnant or not. These two weeks were full of both hope and doubt. A few days before my blood test I couldn’t take it anymore, I caved and took a home pregnancy test. I waited and waited then I saw two pink lines! The two pink lines we had hoped for, dreamed of and fought so hard for. I was pregnant and my blood test confirmed this! WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA âŽ&#x;11
We had an ultrasound two weeks later that revealed that we were pregnant with twins, both embryos had implanted and were growing beautifully. On June 5th 2016 our boy/girl twins were born 10 weeks early and had a month long stay in the NICU, but the day we brought them home was a real celebration, we had beat infertility. It was freeing of something we had carried heavy in our hearts for 6 long years. However we both had the yearning to bring our 3rd embryo home. When the twins were 16 months old we did an FET (frozen embryo transfer) whether or not we got pregnant our embryo was home, where it belonged. To our delight that embryo stayed with us and is now our beautiful 6 month old baby girl.Â
We are now a family of 5 after a long journey. They were worth every heartache, stressful day, sad night, moments of doubt, every test, my surgery, every needle, every dollar. They were worth it all.Â
Photography by: Becky Hinch
RESOURCES Where can I get find out more information about fertility? www.Fertilitymatters.ca www.myfertility.ca
Instagram hashtags to find the infertility community #ttc #ttccommunity #infertilitysucks #infertilitywarrior #infertilitytribe
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Four Ways to Respond to Back Talk & Sidestep Power Struggles
What can shift for you when you think differently about back talk? How do you want to respond when a child is talking back to you? Kim Lange, a Child & Adolescent Therapist and founder of the Emotion Guide Collective suggests that when we view back talk as rude, disrespectful, and argumentative behavior that is
BYÂ KIM
LANGE
unacceptable and must be stopped, we create an environment for power struggles to thrive. WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA âŽ&#x;15
Here are four ways to think about back talk and sidestep power struggles: The child disagrees with you AND disagreeing is okay. They may need help developing the skills to disagree appropriately. Set a boundary around how they’re communicating. Acknowledge that they disagree with you and model a way they can better express their disagreement. The child is angry and emotionally overwhelmed by the situation. They need help tending to their anger. Focus on empathizing with their emotions. When it feels helpful, guide them to use calm down tools. The child is wired to strive for a sense of control. Choices and partnering can help them shift out of a, “I need to win.” perspective. Ask them, “How can we work together to create a solution here?” Or “Would you prefer Choice A or Choice B?” The experience has triggered your feelings of disrespect. It might sound like this in your head: “How dare they treat me like this. Who do they think they are? I can’t let them get away with this.” and on and on your thoughts may go trying to get you to act out your anger towards the child. Once you’re able to offer yourself kindness and tend to your emotions, the charge will dissipate and you’ll be able to see that the child is simply exploring ways to get their needs met.
Click here to download an emotion chart activity to help your kids grow their emotional awareness
MINDFULNESS TIPS In today’s world many of us, especially our children, lead schedule-focused lives. Rushing has replaced spontaneity. After school activities have replaced unstructured playtime. Screen time has replaced time for us to connect with each other. It’s easy for children to become distracted, over-stimulated and stressed. While we can’t hide our children from the anxieties that life will inevitably present, we can bolster their social and emotional health so that they develop tools that will help them to reduce stress, have confidence and understand their emotions. 18⎟ WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA
HERE ARE THREE OF OUR FAVORITE TIPS THAT WILL HELP YOU AND YOUR LITTLE ONES TO CULTIVATE CALM! Help Your Child Reduce Anxiety with Mindfulness Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to what is going on inside and outside of the body right now. Children who have an ongoing mindfulness practice have been found to have increased happiness, reduced stress and a greater ability to control their emotions and behavior. When children throw a tantrum or behave in an out of control way, it does not feel good. Conversely, it feels scary to experience emotions that seem large and overwhelming. Establishing a mindfulness practice arms children with tools to calm themselves down when they feel upset. Our Calm Mind Kit introduces mindfulness to children in a playful way through activities like “the noodle,” which teaches progressive muscle relaxation and “color breathing,” which teaches visualization. To see the full benefit, it’s important to establish a consistent mindfulness practice with your child so that they have known tools they can turn to for comfort and relaxation in moments of stress.
Just Breathe
Let Your Child Experience the Feels
Empowering children to understand that they can have an effect on their own feelings and emotions is powerful. One of the most effective ways to help a child reduce butterflies when faced with a long day, stressful moment or new environment or routine is to encourage them to breathe.
While learning to regulate emotions is an important skill, it is equally important to allow children to experience and process what they are feeling in an authentic way. Instead of disciplining your child for uncharacteristically negative behavior, identify the “why” behind the behavior, and offer extra empathy and support.
Believe it or not, deep belly breathing is a skill that needs to be taught, as we often breathe in a shallow way when nervous, which reinforces anxious feelings. When children (or adults for that matter!) take a deep breath from their stomach, they are telling their central nervous system that their body is safe, which turns off the “flight or fight response.”
For example, in a tough moment try offering your child a hug, hand, or lap and encourage them to retreat to a cozy, quiet space with a favorite story or activity.
Thank you to Rose & Rex creators of the Calm Mind Kit for Children
One of our favorite breathing exercises is called ‘Waves Breath’. To introduce wave breathing we ask children to place an object, like our linen bean bag, on their stomach. We then encourage them to watch the beanbag rise and fall like waves as they breathe deeply in and out. WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA ⎟19
WHEN YOU NEED HELP
FIND A THERAPIST Gone are the days of shame when you mention 'your therapist'. If you are having a difficult time dealing with all the stresses of the world, seek help from one of the many qualified therapists in your area.
WHERE TO LOOK www.psychologytoday.com Search by therapist, type of therapy, issue, gender and more
BOOK REVIEW It is not very often that I find a book that I think just about everyone should read. Gary Chapman wrote '5 Love Languages" and this is definitely a MUST for everyone in a relationship! If you are just starting out in your marriage or you have been married for many years or in a long-term relationship, you will find great value in understanding your partners' love language and speaking it to them to show them how much they are loved! What's your language of love? l. Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “Thanks for taking out the garbage.” Not – “It’s about time you took the garbage out. The flies were going to carry it out for you.” 2. Gifts – a gift says, “He was thinking about me. Look what he got for me.”
5. Physical touch – holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all expressions of love. Out of these five, each of you has a primary love language which speaks more deeply to you than all the others. Discovering each other’s language and speaking it regularly is the best way to keep love alive in a marriage.
3. Acts of Service – Doing something for your spouse that you know they would like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service. 4. Quality time – by which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention. Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and listening.
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balance & clarity What if I told you that work/life balance is impossible to reach? What if I told you that your life will always be this chaotic? Would you stop reading, throw your arms up in the air, and give up trying? Well, good news. you can have balance by the time you finish reading this article - but you need to be ready to change your mindset! Here is the exact step-by-step path I took to find balance and clarity in my life - and I want to share it with you! I believe that balance is a mindset and not a destination we arrive at everyday. I believe that there are seasons of our lives that we can either embrace or complain about - some are like the lazy days of summer, some are like hurricane season, and some are like the mundane, boring months of winter when nothing much is happening. What season are you in right now? If you have kids, your days may look more like hurricane season....but what if we looked at this season with new eyes? What if we were able to calm our storms and deal with them one moment at a time? What if we could embrace the chaos around us and find joy in it?
steps to finding balance & clarity in your life Quiet your
Figure out what is
Build a support
Take pride in the
Be present in
thoughts -
important to you
team and
life that you have
each moment
I use
and what you
surround
created even if it
and accept that
meditation
want your life to
yourself with
looks different than
you are doing
to do this
look like
positive people
someone else's life
your best
Balance is more of a mindset and not a destination we arrive at everyday! Jennifer McCallum
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without clarity we wander aimlessly or end up feeling off-balance, overwhelmed, and exhausted at the end of the day
If you wish you had more balance and clarity in your life right now - whether it be at home or at work, I can help. I have been through the storms. I have spent many sleepless nights worrying. I have fallen down exhausted at the end of the day feeling like I didn't accomplish a single thing. And, I have discovered the path that has created calm and balance in my life today.
If you are interested in hearing how you can do this too, contact me today. We will walk through the steps to help you create the balance you crave in your life. Click below for more information:
Yes, I want more balance! Jennifer XOXO
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I HATED MY HUSBAND AFTER HAVING A BABY AND THAT'S OK By Jancee Dunn
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When you write a book with a title like 'How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids', people are going to tell you things. Private things. I’ve heard it all at this point. My husband and I didn’t talk for a year after our son was born. Oh, I’m radiating hatred at Justin basically all the time. I dread when Sean returns from business trips, because I feel like I hate my husband and it’s so much more peaceful when he’s gone. These admissions are usually told to me in a whisper, because women inevitably feel self-conscious and ashamed. I know where they’re coming from. Before our daughter Sylvie was born in the spring of 2009, my husband, Tom, and I almost never fought. After we became parents, we battled all the time.
I MADE JOKES ABOUT OUR SQUABBLING TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY, BUT I NEVER DISCLOSED THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW HEATED IT BECAME. I called him terrible names and threatened divorce. Other times, we were so chilly with each other that for days, we’d barely exchange a word beyond logistical matters such as “Where did you put the wipes?” WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA ⎟27
I ASSUMED I WAS THE ONLY ONE THINKING "I HATE MY HUSBAND" WHEN HE'D LEAVE AN UNWASHED BOTTLE IN THE SINK OR FORGET TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH.
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I couldn’t tell my mother or sisters— they have long memories—and because I didn’t hear anything from my friends about fighting with their partners, I assumed I was the only one thinking "I hate my husband" when he'd leave an unwashed bottle in the sink or forget to take out the trash. My social media feed only made me feel worse. Every birth announcement featured a giggly baby and serenely smiling parents. Was I the only mother making obscene hand gestures to my spouse over our baby’s head? This parental fail was even more painful for me than it was for Tom. We are only a few generations away from the traditional roles our grandparents had, after all. Due to societal pressures, mothering and keeping house are, like it or not, still more central to women’s identities overall than men’s.
BUT IT’S NORMAL TO FIGHT. IT’S EVEN NORMAL TO FIGHT BITTERLY.
You’re both reeling from zigzagging hormones, deranged from sleep deprivation, and dazed by the bizarre amount of laundry that one tiny being can generate. What ratcheted up the tension for us even further was that although we worked equal hours— we’re both writers—I ended up doing most of the housework and child care. In that case, I’m really not alone. Despite the fact that women’s lives have changed radically in the past three decades—women make up nearly half of the U.S. labor force, and in heterosexual marriages are the primary breadwinners by a record 42 percent—inside the home, things have not changed for women quite as much. A 2015 study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family shows that among 182 heterosexual working couples that became first-time parents, men did a fairly equal share of the housework—until, that is, they became dads. By the time their baby had reached nine months, the women had picked up an average of 37 hours of child care and housework per week, while the men did 24 hours.
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SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE, AS WE WERE IN REAL DANGER OF SPLITTING UP. I am embarrassed to say that my main motivation to patch up my disintegrating marriage came from my child; I saw with dismay that our fighting was beginning to change her personality. Starting around age 4, our happygo-lucky child was becoming more cautious, more watchful. Worse, she began to jump between us as we argued (often saying “Don’t yell at Daddy.”) But the fact that my relationship with the guy I loved was eroding was a distant second. In desperation, I consulted dozens of experts, from marital counsellors to social psychologists to time management masterminds. Here are the solutions that worked best for us.
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I stopped hovering and let him do things his own way. I realized I was shutting Tom out by correcting or criticizing everything he did with our baby. This stemmed from a behavior psychologists call “maternal gatekeeping,” where a mother can open the gate to encourage her partner’s participation, or firmly swing it shut. Once I was mindful of this behavior, I saw that I was doing it all the time. I would roll my eyes when he would try and dress the baby or tell him he wasn’t changing her diaper correctly. As a hesitant father, this put him off—and who isn’t hesitant at first?
I learned to fight fair. Conflict is natural—but as several therapists bluntly informed us, now that we were the grown-ups in the family, it was time to hash it out like adults. No swearing. No screaming. No name calling. (Learn more about the art of a productive argument.) Most effective for us was the conflictresolution method pioneered by eminent couples researchers John and Julie Gottman. When a squabble is brewing, they say to start with an “I” statement rather than a “you” statement. The former is disarming and nonaccusatory—“I’m too tired to put the baby to bed, can you do it?”—rather than the more aggressive “You never put him to bed.” We also realized how important it is to describe the problem we were having without judgment or blame and state clearly what we needed. “I could use some help making dinner” is much more helpful and prescriptive than yelling, “I’m doing everything around here.” Admitting our role in the problem, even if it’s small, was also essential. This makes it easier to find a compromise. A helpful question to drill this down quickly is, “Why is this issue important to you?” Finally, we learned to repair the rift by asking questions like, “What can I do right now to make this better?” so we had actionable measures to fix the problem at hand.
We clearly split up chores. Experts repeatedly told us that when you have a baby, you and your mate have a brand-new relationship— meaning everything is up for renegotiation. That includes chores. One Saturday, we sat down at the kitchen table and divvied up every single task in our household. Taking a page from a 2015 study published by the Families and Work Institute examining 225 single-sex couples, we divided it according to preference, rather than who “should” be doing something. I love grocery shopping, while Tom loathes it; he likes doing play dates on the weekend when I’d rather be a hermit. As we heard over and over, conflicts arise from ambiguity, so we had to make every role crystal clear. Were our tasks split 50-50? No, even though some of my advisers said that we should. For me, it was more about what felt equitable: Tom started cooking dinner once or twice a week, which wasn’t an even split but made me feel satisfied. That little algorithm will probably be different for every couple—the important piece is the perception of fairness. WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA ⎟31
We laid off the scorekeeping. I would fume when Tom took a long nap on a Saturday afternoon, just because I would never presume to take a nap. But being mad on principle didn’t help either of us. New York City–based time management consultant Julie Morgenstern told me to ask myself this game-changing question if I was about to pick a fight: “What does this cost me?” If our child was playing quietly, did it really matter if he took a nap? Was he depriving her of valuable enrichment time? No? Then let it go.
We didn’t put off sex. It’s so easy to put sex at the bottom of the list when you’re exhausted from kids and work, but it’s crucial for a healthy relationship. As Hilda Hutcherson, M.D., professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia University told me, your physical connection with your partner strengthens your emotional connection. Nor is a tantric marathon required; a meta-analysis of over 25,000 people found that the optimal frequency of sex for couples, no matter how long they have been together, is once a week.
A 2008 survey of 50 sex researchers found that the perfect stretch of time for intercourse is…seven to 13 minutes. Even the busiest among us can manage that. Another easy way to boost your sex life is to try something new together, which can enhance desire through what social psychologists call “excitation transfer theory.” This idea purports that the joy and excitement you feel from one activity may amplify the stimulation and connection you feel in the bedroom. And it doesn’t need to be skydiving, either—simply something novel, like a cooking class. Tom and I have, among other things gone gravel biking, to a kooky Korean spa for couples, and visited a psychic. Being playful together —and sharing laughs, especially after the psychic was dead wrong on almost everything—absolutely enhanced desire. WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA ⎟33
We talked through money issues. The cost of your new baby’s diapers alone is panic inducing, so it’s crucial for new parents to communicate and understand each other’s perspective. Financial issues are about so much more than money: They’re about your values, identity, security, and deep-rooted fears. (In fact, most couples would rather discuss sex than their finances.) Tom and I took a page from the growing new field of financial therapy, which has people explore their lifelong relationships with money. Financial therapy has you tackle some in-depth questions, many of which most couples have never discussed: What did money mean to you growing up? Was it a source of stress? Status? What is your biggest fear about money? What lessons do you want to pass on to your kids about money? What does financial security look like to you? Tom grew up in a household where money was tight (or nonexistent), which suddenly explained why he always misplaced or forgot to pay bills, an ongoing issue with us: During his childhood, bills were a source of fear. In my family, every penny was tightly budgeted, so I was reluctant to spend money on anything that wasn’t a basic necessity. Talking about your fears and worries builds empathy and understanding. 34⎟ WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA
We performed small yet meaningful acts of love more often. The Gottmans say that the small daily things you do to make your partner feel good reap greater rewards than the occasional sweeping gesture. I would surprise Tom by bringing home his favorite wine, or send him a quick text to make him laugh rather than remind him to bring home paper towels; if I had a rough day, Tom would lay out my pajamas and offer a quick massage. As a bonus, that responsiveness can help your sex life, too. In a 2016 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researchers asked 100 couples to keep a diary for six weeks documenting their sexual feelings for their partner. When their partner made them feel respected and appreciated, desire levels zoomed upward—particularly for women. (As one researcher explained, responsiveness ignites desire by conveying the message that a partner is valued and worth pursuing.) Tom and I also try to set aside 10 minutes a day to chat about anything but kids, work, or scheduling (for the first few tries, we are alarmingly short of ideas). This little ritual has strengthened our bond immeasurably.
A YEAR AND A HALF AFTER TRYING ALL THESE IDEAS, TOM AND I HAVE, WITH A LOT OF WORK, FOUND OUR WAY BACK TO EACH OTHER.
New York Times bestselling author Jancee Dunn is the author of five books, including
Your relationship is not an air plant, and if you don’t devote even a small amount of time to it, it will wither. I had grown so childcentric that my motivation to stop fighting was about our daughter, but I now see that Tom is the ally I didn’t know I had.
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Giving Back ARTICLE
BYÂ JENNIFER
From a very young age, my daughter, Rayna, would save up her money throughout the year for a specific charity. She would set up a lemonade stand at the end of our laneway in the summer, and she would sew and sell her designs (she actually created her own company with the purpose of ending homelessness with the profits). She donated to the Children's Hospital, CAS, local shelters, etc. She volunteered to cook at the Ronald McDonald House and at a street mission close by. And now, as a 17 year-old, she spends her mornings at a seniors centre - and she tells me she gets way more out of it than the seniors do! Throughout the years, each of my kids have followed her lead - Cal has organized full day community charity events and on a recent trip, the younger boys planned to take all their allowance to give to the homeless. Thinking about their generosity got me thinking about what giving does for me. When I am giving to someone else, it leaves me no time to think about what isn't going right in my life. I don't have time to think about the dishes, the laundry, the bills, or the long to-do list on my desk! I can focus on something or someone else without distractions - and it FEELS GREAT! 36âŽ&#x; WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA
MCCALLUM
(AND
KIDS)
When I am giving to someone else, it leaves me no time to think about what isn't going right in my life. I don't have time to think about the dishes, the laundry, the bills, or the long to-do list on my desk! I can focus on something or someone else without distractions - and it FEELS GREAT!
Giving back is high on our priority list, because we feel good when we do it, we know we can make a difference to someone else, and we can focus on being grateful for what we have instead of worrying about what we don't have. My takeaway from having such caring and giving kids, is that we can't afford not to give. There is so much need in the world, in our country, and in our community. The thing is, you don't need money to give, you don't need huge connections or a lot of time. You just need to find a cause that you are passionate about and get started. You are probably giving so much already and not even thinking about it. I made a list of 'Ways to Give' to help spark conversations with your kids, or just to remind you how much you are doing already to spread love, kindness, and good vibes right now in your backyard!
Ways to Give: spend time with others
sponsor a child
cook for others
donate to a charity of your choice
babysit for a friend
join forces with someone already collecting
collect and donate canned food
for others
grow extra veggies in your garden for the
play with cats and dogs at an animal shelter
food bank
make cards for kids in the hospital
smile at strangers
give blood
hug your family
feed the birds
bake for first responders
use your skills and become a mentor
save your allowance and shop for a family in
volunteer at your chid's school
need (you can contact your local food bank,
be kind and give compliments
Children's Aid Society, or street missions for
sew, knit, or crochet hats and scarves
ideas on what to buy)
How to Give: Brainstorm ideas and choose one
Contact the charity or organization to see what is needed
Let others know so they can get involved too! WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA âŽ&#x;37
DISCOVER THE
BENEFITS OF MUSIC MUSIC PLAYS AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN CHILD DEVELOPMENT. Put on a piece of music in a room full of infants or toddlers and watch the magic happen! You’re likely to see bouncing bodies, waving arms and smiling faces! Children love music. They are natural born musicians, ready to sing, dance and play from the time they are born. Most parents - even those who don’t consider themselves ‘musical’ sing to their babies, even if just at bedtime. Why is this? Even the happy reaction from babies to a simple lullaby routine suggests that musical aptitude is an innate function of being human and worthy of being nurtured and developed.
Why music? Singing, moving, listening to and playing with music involves all areas of the brain. It actively engages both hemispheres of the brain at the same time, even before a child can walk or talk. There are now over two decades worth of rigorous scientific research from labs all over the world which indicate that music ignites all areas of a child’s development and supports the development of skills they need for school readiness. It helps the body and the mind work together. Exposing children to music during their early years helps them learn the sounds and meanings of words, and strengthens memory skills. Moving to music helps children build motor skills while allowing them to practice self-expression. Quite simply, music supports a child’s total development. Is that reason enough to make music? In addition to the developmental benefits of music, perhaps the most important reason to make music is that it brings joy. Music is powerful and unique; worthy of development for its own sake!
When is my child most likely to benefit? Your child’s aptitude for learning music is at its strongest from birth to 18 months, it’s during this period that their brains are learning and growing the most. In fact, children learn more in this critical 18 month period than in any other 18 month period in their life. The next most important period extends from 18 months to 6 years old. That doesn’t mean you have to rush out and sign your toddler up for instrument lessons. In the early years your child’s best teacher, is you!
’
How can I support my child s musical development? SING. It can be as simple as making music together at the start and end of each day. DANCE. Your child loves to dance, and even more so with you! PLAY. Explore some simple, child-safe instruments such as drums and shakers. LAUGH. Singing together creates feelings of connectedness and comfort. GROW. Take a music and movement class with your child. There is no downside to bringing children and music together through fun activities. We are all able to enjoy the benefits of music from the moment we’re born. From the pure pleasure of listening to soothing sounds and rhythmic harmonies, to gaining new language and social skills, whatever the setting— at home with family, a playground filled with people, or a fun class—music can enliven and enrich the lives of children and the people who care for them. e Se on of up co ack e b in the agaz n i sm thi
For more information on how to include music in your child's life, contact: Jodie Fera, Director, Music Together of Kitchener-Waterloo Waterloo, Baden and Cambridge and Sasha Judelson, Director, Great Lakes Music Together Kitchener, Guelph and Puslinch
FIND OUT
How it all began
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Intro by Jennifer McCallum, Parent Guide Inc.
When I first met Tonia I was in awe. I knew everything about her incredibly successful business, but I really knew
HOW DID SHE DO IT?
nothing about her. I expected to be met with a
HOW SIPOLOGY BEGAN
I could relate to her as a business owner, a mother, and a
powerhouse of an entrepreneur that would boast about having it all. But, once in a room with Tonia and ten other women in our group, I felt like she was speaking directly to me just like a best friend would. She was vulnerable and honest about how difficult it was building up her business, managing grief, initial resistance to her idea, and all the ups and downs that come with growing a business. She was a perfect combination of business smarts, kindness, and humility.
wife, and I felt drawn to her and connected in a way that you are to someone you have known for a very long time. N O M A D I C | 2âŽ&#x;43 4 WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA
When Tonia was finished sharing her story with us and answering our never-ending questions about how she raised 3 kids and built a 20 million dollar company, I was not surprised of her success. She had a vision and was determined to make it a reality.
"...when you believe in something so much, it can’t possibly fail."
I am sure that even though she is one of the smartest, most determined business owners I know, it was also her personality that made it possible for her to build a team of over 9,000 women that wanted to follow her. I want to share her story with you and invite you to listen in to her pitch that won her two business partners on The Dragons’ Den. I am hoping there is a book to follow, as Tonia’s story not only breathed hope into my business, it reminded me that anything is possible when you believe in something so much, it can’t possibly fail.
Here is the story of how Tonia built Sipology to what it is today...
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NOMADIC
|
24
In just 12 short years, Tonia Jahshan, with her family by her side, has made premium loose leaf tea the daily norm, by turning tea lovers into business owners, through her direct sales company, Sipology by Steeped Tea. Her journey started in 2006, happily pregnant for the first time—she was headed home from a normal day at the
Out of grief came inspiration and determination
sales and marketing agency she ran with her father. As she drove, she felt the first
In 2012, armed with passion and
symptoms of what every expectant
perseverance, her journey took off
parent dreads: a miscarriage. The loss
when she partnered with two
was devastating.
dragons, Jim Treliving and David Chilton through CBC’s Dragons’ Den.
To get away from the trauma of the miscarriage, she and her husband
Today, the company has thousands of
Hatem, decided to take a mini vacation to
Sipologists across North America
a Halifax bed and breakfast, where for
selling loose leaf tea, Matcha,
the first time she tried Cream of Earl
Kombucha, a medicinal tea &
Grey loose leaf tea. Blown away by the
essential oil line called Heal-thy-self
taste and smell she had to find out more.
and teaware. Sipology by Steeped Tea
The owner of the B & B told her it was
has been recognized year over year,
from a shop in Mahone Bay, Nova Scotia.
as one of PROFIT 500 Canada’s Fastest-Growing Companies, and
The Jahshans drove an hour west to find
Tonia, herself, has been garnered
the boutique, stock up, and simply share
Canada’s #1 Female Entrepreneur by
the great taste with their family and
W100 in 2016. She also received the
friends. The purchase of the bag of tea
Ernst and Young’s Entrepreneurial
turned into something more than just
Winning Women award and has been
that. Tonia quickly told Hatem that she
listed as 1 of 6 Women to Watch on
was going to start a business. “And I’m
forbes.com.
going to call it Steeped Tea,” she said.
NOMADIC
|
24
WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA ⎟ 45
What accomplishment are you most proud of? I’m proud of so many of our leaders
We asked Tonia....
in the field who started with us almost from the beginning and have built incredible businesses. They started with nothing but a kit and with hard work and dedication have achieved so much success. It’s a proud moment for me. On a personal note, raising three healthy
What would you tell an up-andcoming mom entrepreneur to cheer her on?
incredible children always makes me
Never give up, go for your dreams, but don’t expect it to come easy. It
Is working side-by-side with your husband hard?
takes hard work, dedication and a
Working alongside my husband can
lot of risk to build a business. You
be a challenge at times, but in
have to work with the ups and
general, he and I work very well
downs. If you can handle the worst
together. What I lack in skills, he
case scenario, you can handle
makes up for them and vice versa.
anything.
Our roles are very defined, I’m sales
proud.
and marketing driven and he is numbers driven, it’s a great balance.
NOMADIC
|
24
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If you won the lottery what would you do with your winnings? Invest it in my business. My business model is based on helping women and men all across North America to earn an extra income for their families. Has letting go of details been hard as the brand has grown? At first it was very hard when I wasn’t as confident in the team, now I am very confident in the amazing team we have grown at home office and can relax more on the details. What drives you to keep going? Our Sipologists drive me to keep going. Their success is my success
Tonia lives in Ancaster, Ontario with her 3 children and husband Hatem. Read more about Tonia's story here! Watch as Tonia and her husband Hatem secure funding from CBC's Dragons' Den
and I want nothing more than to see them all build amazing businesses.
Want to know more about
Visit: www.steepedtea.com
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THE TRUTH ABOUT HELICOPTER PARENTS BY ANN DOUGLAS, PARENTING EXPERT, AUTHOR OF HAPPY PARENTS, HAPPY KIDS
HELICOPTER PARENTS If there’s one parenting narrative that has been amplified and celebrated by the media in recent years, it’s the idea of the helicopter parent—that ever-present, overprotective parent who is constantly hovering in junior’s vicinity. If you prefer to go with an analogous term that feels a bit more Canadian, you might opt for “curling parent” instead. As a 2016 CBC News article explained, curling parents endeavour to “[sweep] aside obstacles for their adult children” while leaving those children “unable to handle the rocks life throws at them.” Helicopter parent, curling parent—whatever you choose to call it, we’re talking about the same thing: the widespread belief that the current generation of parents is guilty of caring too much. Before you start engaging in the parental soul-searching that the mere mention of the term “helicopter parent” seems to trigger, you need to know one allimportant fact about helicopter parenting: it’s a myth. Or, to be fair, the idea that 48⎟ WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA
helicopter parenting is the defining parenting style of our time is a myth. American author and journalist Alfie Kohn tackled the myth head-on in a September 2015 article for Salon—an article with a wonderfully feisty title, I might add: “Debunking the Myth of the ‘Helicopter Parent’: The Pernicious Cultural Biases behind a Collegiate Urban Legend.” In this must-read article, Kohn makes the case that helicopter parenting is little more than a media-fuelled urban myth, one that is heavily reliant on judiciously hand-picked anecdotes about that one parent who did that one over-the-top thing that one time. You’d think this article would have spelled an end to helicopter-parenting news stories, but sadly, they merely mutated and began to appear in a slightly different form. The media was no longer solely fixated on helicopter parents wrapping their tiny tots in bubble wrap or clinging to the electronic umbilical cord when their darlings headed off to college; now they were showing up in the workplace too!
Yep. That’s the most recent twist to a tale that just won’t end. A recent article in The New York Times titled “When Helicopter Parents Hover Even at Work” is typical of this genre. Writer Noam Scheiber only managed to produce one piece of evidence in support of the “helicopter parents head to work” hypothesis. That key piece of data? A 2016 OfficeTeam study that reported that workplace helicopter parenting was “not unheard-of”—hardly evidence of the massive epidemic of helicopter parenting you might expect, given the alarmist headline. On this side of the border, a 2015 article in the Financial Post tried—and failed—to make a similar case. In an article titled “Leave Mom at Home: Why Canadian Business Owners Are Having Such a Hard Time Hiring,” writer Dan Kelly reported that “more than a few” of the respondents to a Canadian Federation of Independent Business (CFIB) survey had reported parents showing up for their kids’ job interviews. Then, in a related post the following year, the CFIB reported on “two actual scenarios” of helicopter parents intruding in their children’s working lives, and “countless stories” of parents trying to interfere in the job interview or hiring process. So, should every cubicle desk issued to a millennial-aged new hire automatically be equipped with an extra chair for mom or dad? The rather underwhelming evidence to date suggests not.
raise a hand and then make a comment along the lines of “You’re probably going to think I’m a helicopter parent . . .” Almost inevitably, the story they feel compelled to preface with such a shame-filled disclaimer is, in fact, a story about really great parenting. That’s what disturbs me most about this whole helicopter-parenting phenomenon: the fact that it leaves parents feeling anxious and guilty for being a good parent.
LOVE this so much! Enough labels, already! Thank you Ann for writing this book so that we can love our own parenting style and be happier for it! Get your copy here!
On the one hand, it’s easy to dismiss helicopter-parenting stories as merely silly or annoying. Unfortunately, they have a tendency to get inside your head. Whenever I speak to a group of parents, there’s inevitably at least one parent in the crowd who will WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA ⎟49
DIY RAINBOW UNICORN SLIME By: LittlePassports.com
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SUPPLIES 1/2 cup clear glue 1/2 cup lukewarm water 1/2 cup liquid starch 3 different colored glitters (we used pastels)
INSTRUCTIONS 1) Mix the clear glue, water, and liquid starch together. When it’s formed a slime consistency (which should be immediately), divide slime into 3 sections. 2) Stir in one color of glitter into each section. 3) Take your first coloured slime and stretch it so that it is about a foot long. Repeat with the other colours. 4) Join the threads of slime together, twisting slightly so that you have a rainbow braid of slime. Squish and mix to your heart’s content!
What’s the science behind slime? When you combine glue and sodium borate (which is found in liquid starch), something called crosslinking happens and turns the mixture into more of a solid than a liquid. Glue is made up of polymers (you can think of polymers like rubbery spaghetti noodles that slide past each other), and sodium borate is made up of negative ions (which help things stick together). When you add the sodium borate to the glue, the sticky ions help the rubbery noodles come together, and everything stiffens up. As a result, you get this fun textured slime!
Here are a few discussion questions you can ask the kids to think about: � How is glue different from water? Why do you think we use glue to make slime, rather than water? � What are other substances similar to the slime you just made? � What would happen if you throw your slime against a wall? (Optional, of course.) WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA ⎟51
OLD DELHI BUTTER CHICKEN BY HARI GHOTRA
SLOW COOKER RECIPE
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OLD DELHI BUTTER CHICKEN MURGH MAKHANI
SERVES 6 PREP TIME: 15 MINUTES | COOK TIME: 7 HOURS ON LOW OR 3 TO 4 HOURS ON HIGH
Murgh makhani is a classic restaurant dish that is silky, smooth, and beautifully luxurious. The complex flavors include the natural sweetness of honey, the earthy bitter undertones of fenugreek leaves, the creaminess of makhan (butter), and the tang of fresh tomatoes. All combine to produce a thick, rich sauce that’s North Indian through and through. Many restaurants have the luxury of marinating the chicken pieces and cooking them in the tandoor before adding them to the decadent sauce—not always possible at home. This is my interpretation of how you can make this classic in a slow cooker. Yes, it’s a two-stage process, but the result is fantastic!
FOR THE TOMATO SAUCE
FOR THE CHICKEN
3 medium red onions, roughly chopped 2 to 3 fresh green chiles 1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger 6 garlic cloves, roughly chopped 2 ¾-inch (7-cm) piece cassia bark 5 green cardamom pods 4 cloves 10 black peppercorns 1 teaspoon salt 10 ripe red tomatoes, roughly chopped, or 1 (14-ounce/400-g) can plum tomatoes 1 tablespoon tomato paste ½ teaspoon turmeric 1 tablespoon Kashmiri chili powder 2 teaspoons coriander seeds, ground 2 cups hot water
2 tablespoons ghee or butter 1 tablespoon cumin seeds 12 chicken thighs, skinned, trimmed, and cut into cubes 1 to 2 tablespoons honey 1 tablespoon dried fenugreek leaves ⅓ cup (100 mL) heavy cream (optional) 1 tablespoon butter (optional) Coriander leaves to garnish (optional)
TO MAKE THE TOMATO SAUCE
TO MAKE THE CHICKEN
1. Heat the slow cooker to high and add the onion, chiles, ginger, garlic, cassia bark, green cardamom pods, cloves, black peppercorns, salt, tomatoes, tomato paste, turmeric, chili powder, ground coriander seeds, and water. 2. Cover and cook on high for 1 to 2 hours, or on low for 3 hours. By the end, the tomatoes should have broken down. 3. Remove the cassia bark (this is important, because if you grind the cassia in the sauce it will turn out much darker) and blend the sauce with an immersion or regular blender until it’s smooth. You can strain this to get a fine, glossy sauce, if you’d like, or leave it as it is. Return the sauce to the slow cooker.
1. In a frying pan, heat the ghee. Add cumin seeds and cook until fragrant, about 1 minute. Pour into the sauce in the slow cooker. 2. Add the diced chicken, cover the slow cooker, and cook on high for 2 hours, or on low for 4 hours. 3. When the chicken is cooked, stir in the honey, dried fenugreek leaves, and cream (if using). If you want to thicken the sauce you can turn the cooker to high and reduce for a while with the cover off. Add some butter, a little extra drizzle of cream, and garnish with coriander leaves (if using) just before serving.
Get the book
More Recipes at: www.harighotra.co.uk Get the app: https://hari.is/2P5rXbk 54⎟ WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA
Hari Ghotra is an Indian cook and chef and the founder of the biggest Indian food digital platform in the UK. Her website features hundreds of easy to follow Indian recipes, videos, and informative blogs. Trained at Michelin-starred Tamarind’s of Mayfair, Hari contributes to various magazine publications as well as the Great British Chefs website and Huffington Post. Her recipes are loved by many due to their simplicity but still packed full of the flavour punch Indian food is famous for.
Welcome to COLD & FLU SEASON
PRIN this T page
IS IT A FEVER? When your child is sick they may have a fever. If you
Method
Normal Temperature
think your child has a fever,
Rectum
38°C (100.4°F)
use a thermometer. Your
Mouth
37.5°C (99.5°F)
child has a fever if their
Armpit
37.3°C (99.1°F)
temperature is above the
Ear
38°C (100.4°F)
number listed here:
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How to take a temperature: Use one thermometer for rectal and one for taking oral temperatures Do not use glass or mercury thermometers, use digital or
Resources:
plastic thermometers instead
Is it an Emergency?
Forehead thermometers are not as accurate as other
Call 9-1-1 or go to your local
methods for taking temperatures
hospital
For more information on how to correctly take a temperature, visit www.caringforkids.cps.ca
Who to contact if your child has a fever: Babies younger than six months old should see a doctor
Need a Family Doctor? Call Health Care Connect 1-800-445-1822 www.ontario.ca/page/find-
when they have a fever Call your health care provider if your baby is older than six months and the fever does not go away after 72 hours
family-doctor-or-nursepractitioner
(three days), or your baby has a fever combined with a rash or any other signs of illness that worry you Talk to a Registered Nurse, at Telehealth Ontario 1-866797-0000 (TTY: 1-866-797-0007); available 24 hours a day, seven days a week
In an emergency situation, call 9-1-1
What to do if your child has a fever:
Want to speak with a Registered Nurse? Call Telehealth Ontario 1-866-797-0000 (TTY: 1-866-797-0007)
Babies younger than six months old should see a doctor when they have a fever If your child is older than six months, then give more to drink (such as breast milk or water) Take off extra clothing and blankets, leave enough to avoid shivering check your child's temperature often
What NOT to do if your child has a fever: Do not give medication unless recommended by your health care provider Do not give Aspirin or Acetylsalicylic Acid (ASA) to a child or teenager with a fever Do not use alcohol rubs or baths and sponging with water to lower a child's fever
Other signs your child may be sick: Acting differently (tired, weak, sleepy, loss of appetite, fussy, or a lot of crying) A runny nose Coughing Vomiting Rash Difficulty breathing Diarrhea Change in skin colour (pale or looks yellow)
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Parent Resources Navigating the internet to find the right resources can be a daunting task. We want to make life easier for you!!! Below is a simplified list of where you can start to find the resources across Ontario, Canada. If you are not in Ontario, and you are searching for a resource in your area, contact us at info@parentguide.ca. You are NEVER alone…please reach out, connect with others, find out what your options are, and equip yourself with this list! EMERGENCY 9-1-1 In an emergency, please call 9-1-1 ADDICTION, MENTAL HEALTH, AND PROBLEM GAMBLING SERVICES BounceBack Ontario TOLL-FREE: 1-866-345-0224 www.bouncebackontario.ca BounceBack®: Reclaim your health is a free skill-building program designed to help adults and youth 15+ manage symptoms of depression and anxiety. ConnexOntario 1-866-531-2600 www.connexontario.ca Free and confidential health services information for people experiencing problems with alcohol and drugs, mental illness or gambling. Information and referral service is 24/7, confidential and free.
PRINT THESE PAGES
ASSAULT AND VIOLENCE Assaulted Women’s Helpline TOLL-FREE 1.866.863.0511 TOLL-FREE TTY 1.866.863.7868 #SAFE (#7233) on your Bell, Rogers, Fido or Telus mobile phone www.awhl.org To provide free, 24/7 crisis counselling, emotional support, information and referrals via telephone to women in up to 200 languages - completely anonymous and confidential. CHILD CARE AND SCHOOLING Ontario Ministry of Education www.ontario.ca/page/ministry-education The Ministry is responsible for early years, child care and publicly funded education from kindergarten to Grade 12. OneList https://onehsn.com/home/childcare Available in most areas across Ontario WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA ⎟59
COMMUNITY INFORMATION
HEALTH
Call 2-1-1 211ontario.ca 211 is a helpline and website that provides information on and referrals to Ontario’s community, social, health-related and government services.
Health Care Options www.ontario.ca/locations/health Find a family doctor, health unit, mental health supports, walk-in clinics, immunization clinics, hospitals and more.
DISTRESS Distress and Crisis Ontario www.dcontario.org Distress Centres offer support and a variety of services. At a Distress Centre you can find a listening ear for lonely, depressed, and/or suicidal people, usually 24/7. Many centres also have Suicide Survivor programs, support services for youth, telephone call out programs for seniors and vulnerable people, mental health Crisis Lines services and much more.
Telehealth Ontario Toll-free: 1-866-797-0000 Toll-free TTY: 1-866-797-0007 Telehealth Ontario is only offered over the phone. Email advice is not available. Free, confidential service - call to get health advice or information. A Registered Nurse will take your call 24/7. HELP FOR KIDS Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 Text CONNECT to 686868 www.kidshelpphone.ca Kids Help Phone is Canada's only national 24-hour, bilingual and anonymous phone counselling, web counselling and referral service for children and youth. Search their extensive resource list, Phone, live chat, App. HELP FOR POST-SECONDARY STUDENTS Good2Talk 1-866-925-5454, or call 2-1-1 Free, confidential helpline providing professional counselling and information and referrals for mental health, addictions and well-being to post-secondary students in Ontario, 24/7/365.
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INFANT FEEDING & NUTRITION LGBTQ+ La Leche League Canada 1-800-665-4324 www.lllc.ca To encourage, promote and provide motherto-mother breastfeeding support and educational opportunities as an important contribution to the health of children, families and society. Motherisk Helpline 1-877-439-2744 www.motherisk.org Provides evidence-based information about the risk or safety of prescription and overthe-counter medications, herbal products, chemicals, radiation, chronic diseases, infections, occupational, environmental, and other exposures during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. Monday to Friday 9 a.m. to noon and 1 to 5 p.m. eastern standard time. Motherisk - Alcohol and Substance Use Helpline 1-877-327-4636 Provides information about the safety or risk of alcohol, nicotine and recreational drugs such as marijuana, cocaine and ecstasy during pregnancy and breastfeeding. Monday to Friday 9 a.m. to noon and 1 to 5 p.m. eastern standard time. Public Health www.ontario.ca/locations/health Find a family doctor, health unit, mental health supports, walk-in clinics, immunization clinics, hospitals and more.
LGBT YouthLine 1.800.268.9688 www.youthline.ca Youth Line offers confidential and nonjudgemental peer support through our telephone, text and chat services. Get in touch with a peer support volunteer from Sunday to Friday, 4:00PM to 9:30 PM. Check out their amazing list of resources: www.youthline.ca/get-support/linksresources POISON Ontario Poison Centre 1-800-268-9017 www.ontariopoisoncentre.ca Assists if you think that you or someone you love has been exposed to a dangerous substance. SUICIDE If you are in crisis, and you are feeling suicidal, or think someone else is: • Contact your/their doctor • Go to the nearest hospital • Find a local crisis line • Find a mobile crisis team • Call a Distress Centre • Call 911 or Telehealth Ontario at 1-866-797-0000 • 211 • Canadian Mental Health Association • Kids Help Phone
Telehealth Ontario 1-866-797-0000 TTY: 1-866-797-0007 WWW.PARENTGUIDE.CA ⎟61
Marketplace Want to know who supports us? These companies make it possible for us to continue to provide content and resources to local parents. Check them out, because without them, we couldn't do what we do!
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These are companies that we have worked with for years. They are looking forward to hearing from you. Go ahead, contact them and give them a huge thanks from our community of parents!
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Present
I'm guilty of this - sitting here on a snow day, the kids playing outside and I am on my computer. The pressures of work deadlines, getting the bills paid today, replying to emails that are weighing down my inbox, and all the while thinking about how I will get out of my lane to get groceries, get dinner started and make it to my youth group that I mentor this evening. And this is a slow day. How can I be present when as soon as I complete one of these tasks, two more pop up? Do you ever feel like this? Overwhelm. True heavy overwhelm. My answer today - take one task at a time and complete it. Set aside time for the kids when nothing else can distract me, and go easy on myself. Some things can wait until tomorrow...but my kids won't always have a snow day.
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How can I be present when there is so much to do? If you are anything like me, I am really hard on myself. I want to be able to do it all...and do it well. The truth is, I can't do it all alone. Today, I will be kind to myself and surround myself with people that lift me up. Will you join me? Let's connect in our Facebook Group at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/parent guideacademy/ Wishing you moments of peace and presence today. Jennifer XOXO
