September 2022
BOOK EXTRACT
The Best Digital You That You Can Be This month we feature an article by Irish author, Judith Cuffe, on the Social Media persona we present (versus the reality). I’m prone to sharing the odd fashion picture on social media. Far be it from me to blow my trumpet, but I’m not bad at pulling a rigout together. So, I share what I know. Standing with one foot forward, shoulder angled, hip popped, chin tilted, I can drop a dress size at the click of a finger. Nowadays, that probably makes me guilty of promoting a negative body image. Then again, who am I, only a middle-aged mum with not nearly enough followers to ever stand accused? So why do I do it? Why do I present an image of myself far more pulled together than I probably am in reallife? I was raised to put my best foot forward, literally, in this case. Not to mention, it’s a break from the reality of “in” activewear and pondering how long I can go between washing my hair. For me, it’s not about one-upmanship or trying to be better than anyone else. It’s about being the best me. When it comes to being the best digital you that you can be, no one does it quite like the influencers, and for it, no one is quite so criticised, trolled, abused, and targeted. “Fake!” “Unrealistic standards.” “Freeloading off their looks.” Putting one’s best foot forward is nothing new, nor is people getting worked up about it. Long before social media influencers, there was keeping up with the Joneses. We’re all guilty, both on and offline. Take the people who’ll tell you everything couldn’t be better,
thank God, when you bump into them at the shops when their elderly parents are ill, their teenager is off the rails, and they’re knee-deep in peri-menopause as they are in financial ruin. That’s life. Unfortunately, so is people who get a kick out of catching other people out, and it’s far easier to do so online. Let’s face it: few of us present ourselves to the world precisely as God made us. In daily situations, we are different forms of the same person depending on who we speak to – think “telephone voice”. Aesthetically, I’ll never bin my support knickers, ditch my false tan, make-up, gel nails or stop getting my hair highlighted because that’s me - ever-so-slightly fake, and not afraid to say it. Social media, intended initially as a means to share and interact, has become a powerful marketing tool. It’s also a breeding ground for the selfrighteous watchers who scour the feeds of influencers, celebrities, acquittances, neighbours, and even friends, to find fault and judge. They’re the first to point out that no one has skin as flawless as Mary’s without using a filter. I ask you this so what if Mary filtered her photo? Why not let her have her moment, tell her she looks fantastic, and move on. Perhaps Mary isn’t feeling as confident as she once was. Who should we blame for that? Influencers? Hardly. The best course to take social media is with a pinch of salt. Recognise it for
what it is – a parallel world of sorts, but one in which the same rules should apply – kindness, patience and empathy. So why not stop the mindless scrolling. Instead, share and interact as much as you examine. Follow the right kind of people. There are two types in both worlds: those who say it like it is and those who keep their cards close to their chest. Ensure you have a generous helping of both in your on and offline life. And if someone doesn’t bring out the best in you, unfollow them. It’s a two-way street, so take responsibility for your actions. Actually, when you think of it, that’s the best digital you that you can be.
Judith Cuffe’s novel UNFOLLOW ME - a mix of romance, mystery and thrills - is out now from Poolbeg Books.
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