How to Turn
Self - Love Into Power Couple Goals By Candy Washington
L
et’s face it, you can’t have a love issue without first talking about self-love, and I say this from my own personal experience. I started my journey to self-love and self-discovery after a string of intermittent and non-committal relationships with men that weren’t in a place to be a true partner to me. But from these experiences I was able to glean life lessons that have led me to live a fuller and more joyful life. They also led me into being in a healthy, loving, happy, secure, and grounded relationship with a wonderful man. It is my hope that these insights do the same for you.
But let’s start from the beginning. Here I was, an accomplished entrepreneur who founded her own media company, a published author with three books under her belt, an international podcast host, a Georgetown Alumnae, and a financially secure woman, that was choosing to date men that were either emotionally unavailable or financially unstable, and oftentimes both. The turning point for me was when the guy that I was dating at the time called me ‘selfish and self-centered’ because I was proud of my accomplishments and was sharing my future professional goals with him. Mind you, he didn’t have a steady job, his own car, or his own place to stay, but he had the audacity to belittle and dismiss me for my career achievements. It was gaslighting at its finest. Something in me snapped and I decided at that point that I had enough of not being loved, valued, appreciated, and respected in my relationships. I decided that I was done with being emotionally abused. I knew that I had to do things differently in order to find the love that I truly deserved. So, this time around, instead of looking at the men and shaking my finger at everything that was wrong with them, I took that same finger and pointed at myself to see why I was choosing men that were like them. I had to get brutally honest with myself and look inward instead of placing the blame outward. I had to look in the mirror and ask, “What do I need to work on and heal within myself in order to attract a man that not only truly loves me, but was also truly worthy of my love?” The truth was, I didn’t know. So, I set out on a personal journey of self-discovery to find out and below are the key steps that I took on my road to self-love.
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5 Steps to Self-Love and Power Couple Goals
1. I went to therapy
Although I love my friends and family, I knew that I needed an objective and professional person in my life that could guide me in my journey to self-love and self-discovery. I found a therapist that I trusted and started going weekly to unpack not only my current state-of-being, but also my childhood and past experiences that shaped the way I see and move within the world. I had to tap into my own subconscious beliefs and patterns that were dictating my life choices and that were ultimately sabotaging my love life. It wasn’t always easy or pretty. In fact, it was painful, hard, and challenging to really dig deep into myself and my past to see what was driving me on the soul-level. I can’t promise you that there won’t be times when you want to quit, but I can promise you it will be worth it because on the other side of the grit and the fear, is true freedom. The freedom to love yourself for exactly who you are and the freedom to make conscious choices about what you do and do not tolerate in your life because you know and believe that you are enough. Power Couple Goal: Seek support and counseling before you need it and when you need it. Going to therapy when things are in a good place is a great way to strengthen your relationship so you have the tools to deal with fights, arguments, disagreements, and problems in a healthy way
