This year, you don’t have to let sinus allergies ruin the pleasures of being outdoors. Our comprehensive sinus and allergy care offers you expert medical attention from specialists who take the time to understand your unique needs. The Innovis Health Otolaryngology Department is known as a trusted leader in care of the ear, nose and throat. And helping you live without allergies is just one of our strengths; from thyroid surgery to nasal endoscopic procedures and sleep apnea surgery, our expert team is dedicated to improving your quality of life. Because when you feel good, life is good.
A Fargo native and Independent Hairstylist, Amber has been in the business for 6 years. She enjoys making people look and feel good in a relaxing environment, where she can be one-on -one with her clients. Amber, husband Ty, and 2-year-old daughter Thea, enjoy summertime at the lakes spending time with family and friends.
An RN who changed her healthcare focus from treating disease to preventing it, Cathy is a personal trainer, group fitness instructor and trained wellness coach. She has been actively involved with many local health related organizations including the Fargo Marathon Youth Run and American Cancer Society Charity Run and is currently involved with the GoFarKids program. A mother of three, Cathy has run several half and full marathons and is an avid fitness
OTMOM’s Spring 09’ feature, Angela is a stay-at-home mom to four kids. Recently transplanted to the suburbs of Akron, Ohio, Angela is a former Mrs. ND International who still works to bring attention to Go Red for Women, domestic and dating abuse, and children’s literacy. Active in her church, she works hard to maintain the “Mean Mom” title and can create a meal out of nothing, but cannot on her best day make Jell-O. Thankfully she’s married to Superman, who goes by the name Jared.
You may be saying to yourself, “I know I’ve seen that girl before!” That’s because Patricia is the alter ego of Valley News Live reporter Tricia O’Connor. She sharpened her writing skills sending travelogues back to her family and friends while living abroad. She wrote of sleeping in a sheep shearing barn in Australia and gaining 30 pounds eating cheese every night in France. Now, she spends her time writing and reporting about all the crazy things happening in the FM area.
Owner and operator of Lynn Brakke Organic Beef, Lynn, his wife Dee and three children live on their farm in the heart of the Red River Valley, just 15 minutes south of Moorhead. For more than fourteen years, Lynn has made a commitment to sustainable farming practices and as an organic producer feels a social responsibility is a major commitment for his farming operation. Lynn welcomes all to take the short drive to his farmstead to see the where's and how's of his certified organic, 100% grass-fed cattle.
A therapist at Southeast Human Service Center, Barbara holds a PhD from the University of Massachusetts Amherst and is a licensed professional clinical counselor. As a member of Board of Directors of the Red River Valley Asperger Network, Barbara provides public education and advocacy services for children’s mental health issues. She shares a lake home with a fabulous four legged furry friend and enjoys gardening, baking [mostly chocolate], cooking [vegetarian] and shoe shopping.
Liz and husband Josh love spending time outdoors with 4-year-old daughter Avery and 2-year-old son Tate. A Moorhead High graduate, Liz returned to the FM area in 2006 after receiving her degree from Northwestern College of Chiropractic. That same year she opened Above & Beyond Chiropractic serving patients from birth to seniors. If she looks familiar it might be because she graced the cover of OTMOM last Summer when she was the featured mom!
Born and raised in Fargo, Melissa enjoys having a full house. She shares her home with her wonderful husband Erik, their 3-year-old son Harris, three cats, a dog, and several dust bunnies. Melissa is a teacher to students on the autism spectrum for the West Fargo School District. Her side jobs include grad school, doing dishes, and kissing owies.
Too much of a great thing is always better. Well, that’s true in our case...welcome to the new bi-monthly format of On The Minds Of Moms. Some of you have asked “why now?” and really, it’s simple, you asked for it! We get a lot of feedback about the magazine and overwhelmingly, the comment we hear over and over again is, “I wish it was published more often!” Well, we’ve decided to give you just that…OTMOM will now be available 6 times a year [February, April, June, August, October and December]. As always you can pick it up free of charge throughout the FM area or you can subscribe on our website for home delivery.
Of course we can’t forget what gave us the inspiration to start OTMOM...motherhood. Happy Mother’s Day to all us amazing moms who are keeping it real and navigating our way through momville.
Thanks again for reading our little ‘ol magazine. We love doing it and as always, if you have story ideas, profiles or feature suggestions or just want to let us know how we’re doing, don't be shy! Drop us an email at info@onthemindsofmoms.com. We’d love to hear from you!
Bring on Spring!
dani and sheri co-founders & inspired moms
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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT
On The Minds Of Moms is dedicated to providing a community of local support and real-life advice for the modern day mom who is on the go and needs to know. We are inspired to help the woman behind “the mom” balance it all by offering support, validation and reassurance she is a good mom wanting only the best for herself and family.
On The Minds Of Moms is a to bi-monthly magazine written by, for and about local moms in the greater Fargo-Moorhead area. On The Minds Of Moms strives to achieve a balance between useful information and entertaining content. Written to serve as the local reading alternative to family magazines that are produced for a larger regional/ national audience.
On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision.
Local Valley News Live anchor and the youngest of three sisters from Dickinson, ND, Robin was a high school national gymnastics champion even though she admits she joined gymnastics as a fourth grader to learn to pole vault. She traveled the world with the US Gymnastic Team and in 1977 became an Olympian. Robin graduated from the University of Minnesota, Minneapolis where she earned Big Ten Champion and All-American honors as a gymnast and would later take her spot in the Gopher Women’s Athletics Hall of Fame as well as the North Dakota Sports Hall of Fame. Today Robin and her husband Terry of 15 years enjoy biking and stay busy watching their son Andy [11] and daughter Alex [9] follow mom’s path in athletics. Next to being a mom, Robin hopes her greatest accomplishment is yet to come.
photography by | rialee photography
in my pantry I always have extra… Lime tortilla chips. My son goes through a couple bags a week. i’m a sucker for…
Phone messages from my kids. I save as many as I can. My favorite one is from Alex, where all you hear is “…popsicles. Okay? Thanks. Love you.” one thing in my laundry room I could never live without… Dreft detergent. Andy has really sensitive skin.
I do like raw broccoli…with dip, of course. three things on my bathroom counter…
Jewelry for work, sample shampoos and makeup… and cats! They constantly jump up while I’m trying to wash my face at night.
the beauty product I can’t go without…
After all these years, I still like Oil of Olay moisturizer.
the most famous person I have met…
Professionally, Walter Cronkite. Otherwise, Nadia Comaneci. We competed together in the 1977 Olympic Games in London.
something I long to do again someday…
To be able to do an aerial cartwheel!
in the morning I wake by [buzzer, radio, dog, kids]…
Kids looking for clean socks.
Hornbacher’s. Late night, after the news, is the best time to shop.
the news story I will never forget…
Going to Peru to do stories on a Fargo priest who’s been serving the poor there for many years. Father Jack Davis has made a commitment few of us could probably make.
my husband would describe me as…
A good mom, but a little uptight.
my favorite sweatshirt is…
My husbands. It’s a very roomy NC Tarheels hoodie.
the best mom advice I have been given…
Truly enjoy every stage, because kids really do grow up right before your eyes!
the one question I get asked most…
Aren’t you the lady on the news?
Do you own your own business? Would you like to?
Are you ready to re-enter the workforce?
Get started with M State Online Education. With more than 20 classes online, you can brush up on your skills or earn a degree - your choice, your future, your time.
Learn more at www.MyMStateOnline.com
One subject that is on the minds of moms [and dads and grandparents and nearly everyone else] is autism. The current statistics are 1 in 100 children meet the criteria for an autism spectrum disorder [ASD]. Autism is the most common Pervasive Developmental Disorder, affecting an estimated 1 in 100 births [Centers for Disease Control, 2007]. This means that as many as 1.5 million Americans are believed to have some form of autism. This number is increasing. Based on statistics from the U.S. Department of Education and other research organizations, autism is growing at a staggering rate of 10-17 percent per year. According to the Autism Society of America the occurrence of autism could reach 4 million Americans in the next decade. Autism is a global issue with similar statistics worldwide.
There are several things that we know about autism but even more that we don’t. Here are some of the questions that moms ask.
what is autism? what does autism spectrum mean?
In the 1940s autism was considered to be the result of “refrigerator mothers” [moms who were emotionally cold toward their child]. Today we know that autism is a complex neurological difference. The person’s brain processes information differently so that they have difficulties in social relationships, communication, behaviors, and sensory concerns. They perceive the world differently; not wrong just different. They use their intellect as we [neurotypicals] use our instinct. Their learning process is diverse.
While we don’t know what causes autism, we do know that it is likely genetic. We also know that it is not caused by bad parenting nor is it about bad behavior. It is a spectrum because no two individuals are the same. One child may melt down while another may withdraw. Some are picky eaters, some wear only stripes, some hear every sound. They are all unique.
what’s the difference between Asperger’s Syndrome and other types of autism?
Asperger’s Syndrome is named for Dr. Hans Asperger who, in the 1940s, studied an unusual group of children who had high intelligence, strong verbal skills, and very focused interests. Because it was during World War II he had to hide these children from the Nazis. After his clinic was bombed his writings and work were lost until the 1980’s when Dr. Lorna Wing translated his papers. Asperger’s Syndrome was added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV [the book that professionals use to diagnose] in 1994.
Now a wrinkle, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual V is probably going to eliminate Asperger’s Syndrome and Pervasive Developmental Disorders. They will roll them into one category of Autism Spectrum Disorders. This won’t happen for a couple of years so for now we will continue to have Asperger’s Syndrome. But stay tuned. The primary differences between Asperger’s and other forms of autism are that people with Asperger’s Syndrome are of average or above average intelligence, developed speech typically, and have a desire for social interactions. Social situations can be stressful. They don’t read social cues well leading to social isolation, bullying, or discipline. They also have one or several interests that they can be fixated on. These special
interests can be anything from trains to dinosaurs to sewer systems to computers to astronomy and so on. It is often difficult to identify children with Asperger’s, especially girls. There are no clear lines between Asperger’s Syndrome, High Functioning Autism, Pervasive Developmental Disorder NOS [PDD NOS], and Non-verbal Learning Disabilities. Sometimes kids are not autistic; they are just different.
The interest in Asperger’s and autism has meant that there is more research being done and more information available. Professionals are constantly challenged to keep up with changes in their field on a variety of issues. While there is a lot of valuable information accessible some of it is erroneous or misleading. It is important to ask questions about what you are reading and hearing so you can make informed choices.
what can I do if I think my child has Asperger’s Syndrome or another type of autism?
There are parents who analyze every quirk their child has and there are parents who can’t or won’t acknowledge the difficulties their child is experiencing. Some children
can be clearly identified as having characteristics of autism as a toddler, some in middle school and some not until they are adults. Four times as many boys as girls are identified with an autism spectrum disorder. The easy answer to this question is to get an assessment. Often a parent’s first contact is with the pediatrician. Or it can be with a mental health professional. Not everyone has the same level of training or understanding of autism. I’ve often heard that a parent’s concerns are dismissed or they don’t agree with the diagnosis. You are the expert on your child. I encourage parents to educate themselves. Ask questions of the person doing the evaluation about their knowledge and experience regarding autism. Autism can be readily identified in some children for others it can be more difficult. It can be especially hard in children who have Asperger’s Syndrome, High Functioning Autism, PDD NOS, or a non-verbal learning disability. A thorough assessment should include a developmental history, direct interaction with the child, a complete interview with the parent, and collateral information [from the medical doctor, school, daycare, other caregivers, etc]. For most children more specialized assessments can be
helpful including speech and language assessments, an evaluation by an occupational therapist [for sensory concerns and motor skill deficits], and an assessment by a neuropsychologist [to look at information processing, cognitive skills, attention issues, etc.] and observations in other settings. While there is work being done on autism specific assessment tools there is no one “test” that can identify autism.
Children with autism can be and are misdiagnosed. Again, you are the expert on your child. Whoever is doing the assessment should listen to you. If you have questions—ask them. If you don’t feel comfortable with the assessment or your provider find someone else.
my child was just identified with Asperger’s Syndrome [or another ASD]. now what can I do?
Sometimes parents are devastated by the news; some relieved. Some families need time to accept what is happening. It is a process that can be different for everyone but one that is important. Educate yourself, find the support of other parents, and love your child. There is no doubt that children on the autism spectrum are challenging. But they are also amazing. What other 8-year-old could reprogram the computer, memorize the populations of major cities, correct your math, have perfect pitch, learn Japanese, recite every line from Sponge Bob Squarepants yet have trouble lining up for recess? Their strengths are immeasurable. The difficulties occur because they have to live in a world that they don’t understand and that doesn’t understand them. Ross Greene [author of The Explosive Child and Lost at School] says that when children are given the opportunity to be successful they will succeed. This is especially true for children on the autism spectrum. There are many different interventions that range from good to bad to dangerous. It is important that parents understand the risks and benefits. I clearly explain to parents my perspective that it’s never about changing or “fixing” a child. It’s not about a cure. One bright little boy, when someone asked about curing autism said “Why would you want to do that? There’s nothing wrong with me.” I believe that we have to understand the world from their perspective and teach them the skills they need to be successful. Often people try to modify behavior without understanding the behavior. They get stuck on the “bad behaviors” but there is a reason for every behavior. This is a child’s way to communicate something such as “I’m overwhelmed”, “I don’t understand”, “It’s too loud”, “I don’t know what
you want me to do”, and so on. We need to understand what the behaviors mean in order to teach them the skills to express their needs. The bottom line is that each child needs very individualized supports and creative interventions such as using their strengths and special interests. No one intervention will work for everyone. But supporting people with autism spectrum disorders is also about changing those of us who are neurotypical; changing our community to make room for individuals who have a diversity of thought. After all, things like eye contact, social connections, and many communication styles are culturally based. It’s about supporting families with understanding and compassion.
what about the future?
I know many adults who are on the autism spectrum. That comes with good and bad news. First the bad news, there are some who have trouble in school, can’t find/ maintain employment, are lonely, have legal problems, and some are homeless. The good news is that there are many who attend college, hold jobs from blue collar to professional. Some are single, some married, some
have dogs and some have children. They rent and they own homes. Some embrace the “label” of Asperger’s and some keep it private. Those who are most successful accept themselves and have been accepted for who they are. They have found somewhere they “fit”. They’ve constructed lives where they can pursue their passions and they know how to manage stress. The best news is that with early intervention and providing the appropriate support every one can reach their highest potential for success.
This is not enough space to adequately describe the most remarkable people I know. They challenge me to think not just outside the box but to see no box. I consider it a privilege to work with them and an honor to know them.
April is National Autism Awareness Month. For information about characteristics of autism, support group and educational information please visit the following websites:
Autism Society of America North Dakota [www.autismnd.org]
Red River Valley Asperger Network [www.rrvasperger.org]
Brightblue skies, long steamy days, and sizzling burgers, steaks, and bell peppers: what's summer without outdoor grilling? If you're looking to impress family and friends with the best grilled ribeye steak or the juiciest burger the next time you go shopping for meat opt for the healthy choice. Knowing the facts about organic, 100% grass-fed beef is important especially when the grocery store aisles are ripe with all sorts of cuts of grain-fed beef.
Morgan “Pookie” Kolling always thought about others, loved to draw & lost her battle with cancer in June 2009 at the age of 8. Now her family & friends remember her as they support the American Cancer Society.
Pookie’s Patriots Cookbook is $20 & filled with 386 pages of recipes with Morgan’s artwork dividing each section.
Personal health is reason enough to be conscious of the meat you are buying. Grass-fed meat is low in both overall fat and artery-clogging saturated fat, and it provides a considerably higher amount of healthy Omega-3 fats than corn-fed meat. Meat from pastured cattle has up to four times the amount of vitamin E than meat from feedlots, and is much higher in Conjugated Linoleic Acid [CLA], a nutrient associated with lowering cancer risk.
Another reason to prefer an organic pastured, grass-fed cow is that it has had a dramatically better life than its feedlot cousin. Cattle raised naturally on fresh pasture directly harvest the sun's energy to produce lean, healthy flavorful beef. Certified organic means the producer raising the cattle has met the stringent guidelines set for organic production, using no growth hormones, chemical fertilizers, herbicides or pesticides on either the animals or the land. Almost daily throughout the grazing season the cattle move to a fresh new paddock. Rotating animals through different pastures more closely mimics natural migration patterns.
Here in the FM area Lynn Brakke Organic Beef offers the healthy choice your family deserves. Lynn's certified organic, 100% grass-fed animals get all the fresh air and sunshine they want. In the winter they eat hay made from his organic fields. The calves are born in carefully managed pastures starting in early June when the weather warms and the pastures are lush with new growth. They nurse at their mother's side as long as needed.
Grain-fed cows, on the other hand, are raised on pasture only for the first months of their lives. The vast majority of them are transported to distant feedlots where they are raised in confinement on a diet based on grains.
16 months* – 11 years
*must be walking & able to feed self
Monday-Thursday 8:30am-10pm
Friday & Saturday 8:30am-11pm 701.237.0380 1336
cattle raised naturally on fresh pasture directly harvest the sun's energy to produce lean, healthy flavorful beef .
To speed their growth and reduce the health problems that come from being fed this unnatural diet and from their stressful living, these animals are treated with hormones, feed additives and doses of antibiotics. Compare this with the happy life of Lynn's pastured animals, who don't partake in the daily stress of modern life. They don't need drugs and antibiotics to keep them healthy, and their growth is determined by genetics, not by genetically modified, growth-promoting hormones.
Traditionally, all beef was grass-fed and organic. But what you're likely to find in grocery store today is almost all grain-fed, feedlot beef. The reason? Simple economics. Cows grow faster in feedlots and they are more profitable to the producer. Plain and simple.
Eating healthy continues to be very important in today's fast-paced world, and knowing where and how your food is being raised should be equally important. So this summer, make an extra effort to obtain locally raised organic, grass-fed beef and happy grilling!
Lynn Brakke Organic beef offers certified organic grass-fed beef delivered to your home and can be found at the Cashwise store in the EasTen shopping mall in Moorhead as well as the newly located Sydney's Health Market in Moorhead. It’s because of their commitment to the environment, health, and quality products that they are able to make available the most nutritious as well as the best tasting beef you’ll ever find. A customer recently wrote to Lynn, "I wish I could find the magic argument to convince more people [and my friend] that it's much wiser to spend more on quality beef [and perhaps eat less of it] than to buy cheap beef that is less healthy, less humanely raised, and produced in a way that is environmentally unsustainable." For questions and beef orders, please call or visit Lynn’s website. Lynn welcomes you out to his farm to see the where's and how's of his certified organic, 100% grass-fed cattle.
story by | amber underdahl
Let’s face it…your hair is important to you. We all want sassy, easy to do, kick butt hair. On your way to that killer do, let’s dispel some common hair myths.
myth: Hair “box color” from your local big box or drug store is the same as salon color.
fact: Some hair color from a box can be made from metallic dyes and Henna, which is very harsh on the hair, as well as extremely hard to remove. Salon color is much different. They are made with conditioning agents to make your hair shiny and healthy. Your stylist also formulates the color specifically for your hair. It may seem appealing to reach for the at-home hair color because it seems more economical, but in the end the
opposite may be true. It has been my experience that many times clients will not get the results they hoped for from their at-home hair color and the fix leads to more time and money.
myth: Smoking doesn’t cause gray hair.
fact: Your hair is four times more likely to turn gray if you are a smoker. Smoking has also been linked to hair loss. This is because one of the first places your body takes nutrients away from is your hair, skin and nails. myth: Your hair is your hair and it can’t change texture or thickness.
fact: Many woman notice changes in their hair during pregnancy. This is because of the hormonal changes occurring. The same is true when going through menopause, puberty, chemotherapy, dieting or surgery. Your body is changing and so will your hair.
myth: Wearing a ponytail often doesn’t damage your hair. fact: When your hair is put in a ponytail, over time the tight style causes breakage where the ponytail is. It’s called Traction Alopecia. The same goes for braids.
Also, your hair is very vulnerable when it is wet. Do not put your hair in a ponytail when it is wet, and be careful when combing your hair when it is wet. Use a comb or a pik rather than a brush because a brush can cause breakage. Brushing your hair 100 times a day does not make your hair grow, or make it healthy, you are actually doing the opposite.
myth: Split ends can be repaired.
fact: Sorry ladies, split ends can’t be mended. The best thing you can do is cut them off, start over and protect the ones that are healthy. I know most of us don’t want to lose our length so you can use products to make your hair look healthy and feel good. There are products that will also protect the rest of your hair.
myth: Dandruff is caused by dry scalp.
fact: Dandruff can be very deceiving. Dandruff is actually a serious medical condition that needs a physician’s attention. The flaking associated with dandruff can actually be the result of an oily scalp caused by shampoo build up. Cleansing your hair once a week and making sure you are using the right shampoo and conditioner
can take care of the problem; consult with your stylist to find the right product.
myth: Hair can become immune over time to the products you use making them less effective.
fact: Hair product will continue to do what it’s supposed to do, but you may be experiencing some build up, which coats the hair strand so your product feels like it "stopped working" Instead of throwing out your product, cleanse once a week and take care of the build up.
myth: It is best to not wash your hair every day.
fact: It really depends on your hair type. If you have oily hair you may need to wash your hair every day. If you have extra oily hair you can shampoo your hair twice in the shower, then condition your hair. Shampoo is actually for your scalp and conditioner is for the hair ends. If you just put conditioner on your "pony tail" section of hair it will moisturize everything that needs to be moisturized. Another way to remove moisture from your scalp is to use a dry shampoo, such as dirty secret from TIGI.
myth: Static in your hair only happens during the winter. fact: Static means your hair is lacking moisture so it can happen anytime of the year. Try a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner such as Biolage Hydrating or All Soft from Redkin. Also try turning the heater in your car to the floor. When you put the heat directly on you it dries out your hair.
myth: You cannot color your hair when you are pregnant. facts: Coloring you hair when you’re pregnant is safe. If you are sensitive to smells, the chemical smell of the color might make you queasy, but it will not harm you or your baby.
myth: After washing, put your hair in a towel to help draw the water out faster.
fact: If you have curly hair you shouldn’t put their hair up in a towel. The towel friction creates frizz and removes the moisture that curly hair needs.
myths: You should wait to wash your hair one full day after a color to allow the process to set?
fact: You can wait, although it’s not necessary. The best thing for color is a color safe shampoo and conditioner. If you have red in your hair wash your hair in cooler water. Warm water opens the hairs’ cuticle, which lets red out faster where cold water keeps it closed so you don't release any color.
There are gobs and gobs of hair myths, but really the best thing to do is find a stylist you trust and ask them what is best for you and your hair. A good stylist will be honest and share with you the most flattering style on you and the best products for your hair, as well as show you how to use them. Don’t let the fun commercials and funky coloring and names on the packaging draw you in. Get educated and have great hair!
At The Source you have all the modern conveniences of a salon only with the privacy of individual rooms for each independent stylist. Amber Underdahl has 6 years of experience and specializes in Haircuts, Colors, Waxing, Chemical Relaxing, and Updos. Look for her ad in this issue of On The Minds Of Moms for a special offer on your next appointment with Amber.
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Fromthe time we first find out we’re pregnant, we spend countless hours envisioning our new baby. We think about whether we’ll have a boy or a girl, who he or she will look like, and even begin thinking about what our child will be like as an adult. What we don’t often consider is that our newborn may spend most of his or her waking hours crying or even screaming inconsolably.
Colic is described as unexplainable and uncontrollable crying in babies from 0 to three months old, more than three hours a day, more than three days a week for three weeks or more, usually in the afternoon and evening hours. The cause of colic is often unknown; however, what we do know is that babies often deal with it better when they have a healthy spine and nervous system. In
fact, one study showed 93% of infants under chiropractic care had a complete resolution of symptoms. Another study reported 94% of parents saw improvement in symptoms within two weeks of beginning chiropractic care. One of the most common reasons people bring their children to see a chiropractor is because their child is suffering from colic.
But why would a small child have a problem with their spine [a subluxation]? Research has shown one of the worst interferences with the nervous system is a vertebral subluxation, or misalignment of the spine, which results in pressure on the nervous system. Subluxations may occur very early in life. One of the most traumatic things to the pediatric spine is the birth process. Especially in a difficult delivery, the trauma to the neck can be particularly dramatic.
Although most of us moms haven’t had the same vantage point for our children’s births as our husbands and others in the delivery room, we can all agree that the birth process can be a traumatic event. The force on an infant’s neck as it is pulled from the birth canal can be 30 pounds of pressure. If forceps or a vacuum are used, that force can be even greater. We have incredibly high rates of interventions in our births today and as a result there is often a lot of force and trauma involved even in a so-called ‘normal birth'. So much so that research says that for 80% of children, the first problem in their spine starts during the birth process. Add to that intrauterine constraints, falls off the bed or couch, falls while learning to walk and even those hugs from over-enthusiastic older brothers and sisters, and it is not hard to see how a small child could end up with a subluxation.
Chiropractic adjustments correct subluxations, thereby ensuring there is no interference to the nervous system. This provides the best chance for your child’s spine to grow and develop in a healthy way. With that being said, chiropractic care is not a cure for colic, nor does a child need to have colic to benefit from care.
In general, all kids [and parents] can benefit from chiropractic care regardless of whether symptoms are present. Although many people think of chiropractic care as a treatment for back pain and headaches, there is much more potential than just pain-based care. By removing interference from the nervous system, the body as a whole functions more optimally. Three results my patients often notice as unexpected benefits of chiropractic care are better sleep, increased energy, and better immune system function.
One final point is that child adjustments are much different than what you may have gotten as an adult or what you’ve heard about from friends who have been adjusted. Since the newborn spine is so flexible and not fully developed, very little pressure is needed to restore proper alignment to the spine. Newborn adjustments are typically performed with a light vibratory pulsing motion using only the doctor’s fingertip. An adjusting tool [Activator] can also be used if parents are more comfortable with that technique.
Children go through many changes as they grow. The nervous system is the first body system to develop and controls all other systems. Therefore, it is very
important to have as little interference as possible with the nervous system in the growing child. Because your child’s spine is still in the developing stages, chiropractic care is truly a benefit to them now. Why not have your child’s spine checked today?
Unlike conventional medicine, which focuses on attempting to treat disease once it occurs, Above & Beyond Chiropractic emphasizes improving your health in an effort to reduce the risk of pain and illness in the first place. Committed to promoting the health and wellness of all patients, from birth to seniors, Dr. Liz uses a unique approach to health; she looks for any underlying causes that may be disrupting the body and will personally tailor a wellness program specifically targeted to your wellness needs using the least invasive yet highly-effective techniques and services.
story by | angela smith
I’mthe meanest mom EVER! I know many of you believe you own that title but I’m here to tell you it is, in fact, me. I have it from two very reliable sources, ages 12 and 14, who confirm it by storming down the hall and slamming their bedroom doors regularly. I realize this should probably be a source of pain and hurt for me, but it isn’t. I actually take pride in my title and despite Stacey London’s and Clinton Kelly’s horror at the idea I’d proudly wear a t-shirt that proclaims to the world: I’m a mean mom!
Don’t get me wrong. I neither enjoy torturing my children, nor do I relish door slamming, but I do take my job as a parent crazy seriously and if that means I must endure door slamming through the tween and teen years when the law is laid down, I’ll happily put in earplugs and trudge forward.
Nowhere is this truer than in the battle of dating. The rule in our house is at 16 you can group date. Mr. Boy tried to start two years earlier than allowed and we busted him. Doors were slammed. However, with the Liz Claiborne Foundation reporting that “one in five teens in serious relationships are suffering some type of abuse by their partners” you can bet this is a battle I won’t stop fighting and he won’t win.
I’m not naïve. I know boys and girls like each other and I don’t for a minute expect that Mr. Boy won’t have a girlfriend at 14. I had my first boyfriend at 14. We ate lunch together, had ‘no you’re cuter’ conversations on the phone several times a week, met at a couple of church dances and danced the slow songs together, had our first kiss the last week of freshmen year at the spring picnic and my heart was broken when we moved away and I knew I’d never see him again. See back in pre-historic times, as my son likes to call my childhood, boyfriends didn’t necessarily equal dating. In my son’s world, however, girlfriends equal late night phone calls, countless text messages, numerous Facebook posts, lying to parents and setting up clandestine meetings at the mall with the girl, her best friend and the best friend’s boyfriend all so he could group date two years earlier than allowed. All of which equals busted in a house where his parents chaperone almost all his school and church events, sporadically check his email, randomly read incoming and outgoing text messages and check his Facebook page almost as often as he does.
In our house privacy is a privilege and when you get busted for breaking the rules, especially the dating rules, the penalty is mom and dad make it a point to be in all of your business putting a major cramp into your social life. Of course moving 16 hours away from the girl didn’t hurt either…at least that’s what I thought until I saw the latest text massage numbers on Mr. Boy’s cell phone: 8500 text and 250 picture messages. Now I realize that is not an all time high for many, but it is
one in five teens in serious relationships are suffering some type of abuse by their partners
problematic to me. Especially after reading the 2008 American Bar Association report which states “text messaging, social networking sites and the Internet as a whole are the means of choice used to abuse and exert control in teen relationships” and because dating abuse is becoming both more pervasive and more hidden from parents. It was time for a serious heart to heart with Mr. Boy.
As parents, we like to think we know what’s going on in our homes and with our kids but, in the world of teen
dating and abuse, parents are often the last ones to know. As evidenced in the 2009 Loveisrespect.org report which states only “7% of parents think tweens [youth ages 9 to 14] are doing more than kissing,” whereas “28% of tweens themselves say going all the way is a normal part of their relationship.” Furthermore, the American Bar Association for public education reports:
• 1 in 3 female teenagers in a dating relationship has feared for her physical safety.
• 1 in 5 teenagers in a serious relationship reports having been hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner.
• 27% of teenagers have been in dating relationships in which their partners called them names or put them down.
• 29% of girls who have been in a relationship said that they have been pressured to have sex or to engage in sexual activities that they did not want.
• 72% of teenagers who reported they'd been checked up on by a boyfriend or girlfriend 10 times per hour by email or text messaging did not tell their parents.
in our house privacy is a privilege . . . you break the rules . . .the penalty is mom and dad make it a point to be in all of your business putting a major cramp into your social life
The numbers are scary, startling and true. I know because in a land before cell phones and unlimited Internet access I was in an abusive teen relationship. He didn’t text message me, he called… every night. I didn’t send picture messages of my outfits for approval, I was told to change when he arrived at my house. This happened so often I took to wearing one of the same five outfits every time I knew I was going to see him, because I knew it would avoid a fight. He didn’t stalk my Facebook page he went through my room piece by piece when I wasn’t home and sat at the restaurant I worked at for hours watching me.
It started when I was 17. We dated for almost two years during which time I went from a self-confident, opinionated, impassioned young woman to someone that questioned every thought. I became withdrawn, isolated and couldn’t look anyone in the eye. Around my friends he was funny, quick-witted and affectionate. In private and later even in public, he was controlling, demeaning, hurtful and used his wit and words as a way to put me in my place.
My parents and friends had no idea. I had no idea and I never said a word. I thought I was overreacting. He was at work because he loved me and wanted to spend all the time he could with me—even if it was only a ten minute break. He was proud of me and wanted me to look my best when we went out. He missed me which was why he called every day and got upset if I wasn’t there. I thought he was caring, romantic and loving. In reality, he was emotionally and verbally abusive and had prepped me perfectly for my abusive marriage. I’m proof of what the American Bar Association published in their 2008 findings that state, “violent relationships in adolescence have serious ramifications for victims putting them at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior, suicide, and adult revictimization.” These same findings also state that “the severity of violence among intimate partners has
text messaging, social networking sights and the Internet as a whole are the means of choice used to abuse and exert control in teen relationships
been shown to be greater in cases where the pattern of violence has been established in adolescence.”
No one talked about dating violence when I was growing up. There was no curriculum in the schools, no conversations in health class and no conversations at home. Occasionally a girl came to school with a black eye given to her by a boyfriend, once in a while you’d hear the word rape whispered in the halls, but no one discussed it. Abuse of any kind was never discussed. The time has come to change that. Now is not the time to tout that they need their privacy or treat them like adults and expect they will be able to take care of themselves or know when they need to come to us. We can’t expect the school, church, or someone else to have the hard conversations with them and then be floored when it is our child in the ER or the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center.
In a letter to parents posted on the MADE [MOMS AND DADS FOR EDUCATION TO STOP TEEN DATING
ABUSE] website Liz Miller said “Perhaps the best advice for parents is to start talking about what constitutes a healthy, respectful relationship early on with your
Does your child’s partner...
• Call them names or put them down in front of others
• Act extremely jealous when they talk to friends of the opposite sex, even when it is completely innocent
• Constantly check up on them, calling, texting, or IMing and demanding to know where they have been
• Lose their temper, maybe even get violent when they're mad
Resources:
Fargo-Moorhead Rape and Abuse Crisis Center at 701.293.7273 or www.raccfm.com
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline 24 hours a day at 1.866.331.9474
Download the parent guide at www.loveisnotabuse.com
child. Sharing the warning signs of teen dating abuse [see sidebar] with your child and saying, "If you know someone who's experiencing something like this, let's talk about it, let's talk about how you can be a good friend and help them stay safe." Please assure your child that they are not to blame for an unhealthy relationship, and that you are available to help them be safe and happy.”
As parents we must become informed, start the conversation and know what resources [see side bar] are available to us or our kids if we do suspect abuse. Most of all we have a responsibility to get in the business of our kids business. We must know what is going on and make sure our kids and their friends know we are there and know what is going on. It isn’t easy. I promise there will be voices raised, doors slammed and your kids will likely join Mr. Boy on Facebook as he laments about his overprotective, overbearing, pain in the backside parents. Just put in your earplugs, trudge forward, and smile as you join the Mean Mom club. Did you want a t-shirt?
Has your child...
• Become more isolated from family and friends
• Does not participate in or enjoy doing activities that he/she used to
• Spent excessive amounts of time in contact with his/her partner
• Been afraid to displease their partner
• Lost weight, changed the way they act or dress
• Been physically injured by their partner
• Become more aggravated and/or less independent
• Been getting nervous when they are running late
• Cancel plans or seem nervous to participate in certain activities
• Been called names, embarrassed, ridiculed, or insulted by their partner in front of you or other people
• Apologized or made excuses for the actions or behaviors of his or her partner
• Always worried about upsetting their partner
10
Teen Summer Job Workshop
701.476.4040
www.fargolibrary.org
The Fargo Public Library will be hosting informational summer job searching sessions designed especially for teens. Be at the Dr. James Carlson Library at 2:00pm for this 90-minute session.
10
Saturday Storytime
701.241.1495
www.fargolibrary.org
Saturday Storytime for toddlers and preschoolers at the Dr. James Carlson Library starting at 10:00am on the second Saturday of each month. No registration required.
10
American Girl Book Club
218.233.7594
www.larl.org
The Moorhead Library's American Girl book club is aimed at elementary school aged girls. They focus on one American Girl a month and discuss the books on that character. April features Kirsten, May features Molly & June features Felicity. Treats will be served!
10
Bean Inspiration
701.232.3821
www.plainsart.org
Been inspired by beans lately? Here's your chance to view the bean and seed mosaic portraits in the Individual to Icon exhibition and have a go at creating your own recipe for inspiring art. FREE event, pre-registration required.
10
Doughnuts with Dad Storytime
218.233.7594
www.larl.org
Come to the Moorhead Library & share a doughnut with the special guy in your life while listening to some fun stories featuring dads.
10
Baby Signs® Story Time
218.329.6713
www.babysignsprogram.
com/withstephanie
Join Baby Signs® with Stephanie at Pout Baby Boutique [4325 13th Ave S, Fargo] at 10:30am for a free Baby Signs® Story Time! This fun and interactive story time is intended for parents and babies, birth to 3 years old, to enjoy together.
12
Pajama Jamboree
701.241.1495
www.fargolibrary.org
A family storytime featuring bedtime stories starting at 7:30pm in the Children's Room at the Main Library. All ages are welcome and the kiddos can even wear their PJs. Contact Children's Services at 701.241.1495 for details.
13
Our Family is Having a Baby!
701.234.5570
www.meritcare.com
Designed for "brothers and sisters to be", ages 3-7 years to aid in adjusting to the addition of a new baby in the family. Class include: characteristics and actions of a newborn, feeding the new baby, care of a newborn using demonstrations, doll play and a tour of the Family Birth Center. One or both parents should accompany child to class. 6:30pm–8:00pm. Call to register.
15
Feathered Friends
701.277.9240
www.redriverzoo.org
From chickens to eagles, and "Stan", our crane, get ready to explore life in flight as we talk about the different birds found at the Zoo and what you can do to help them survive their yearly migration. For ages 4–6 and starts at 2:00pm.
15
Car Seat Safety Check
701.234.5570
www.fmambulance.com
Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! Make an appointment between 1:30pm–5:30pm at FM Ambulance.
15 & 22
Music & Mayhem: Toddler
Dance Party
701.241.1495
www.fargolibrary.org
Bring your little ones, ages 1–4, to the Dr. James Carlson Library from 10:00am to noon for lots of rhythm, dancing & fun! No registration required.
17
March for Babies
Join the March of Dimes at the Urban Plains Center for the March for Babies. Warm up begins at 9:00am with the march starting at 10:00am. A brief awards ceremony and lunch provided by Subway will follow the end of the march. One day…all babies will be born healthy.
17
For the Birds
701.277.9240
www.redriverzoo.org
They're back! All of those birds that flew the coop last fall are starting to return. Learn how to identify some common birds, their calls, and what you can do to help them during their short northern vacation starting at 2:00pm! Bring your binoculars and field guides if you have them. Meet some of the Zoo's resident and wild birds. Register prior to event.
17
Paws for Reading
701.241.1495
www.fargolibrary.org
Kiddos in grades K–6 can cuddle up & read to a certified reading therapy dog from 1:00pm–3:00pm at the Main Library. Sessions are 20 minutes long and will be in the community room. Bring your own book or pick one from our collection. Space is limited; registration is required.
17
MS Walk
701.235.2678
www.walkms.org
Walk because you can. Check-in opens at 8:00am; Walk starts at 10:00am at the Bison Sports Arena – NDSU.
17
CPR Class
701.234.5570
www.meritcare.com
Learn the ABCs of CPR and receive an American Heart Association participation card. Class is from 9:00am–Noon. Classes are subject to availability. Call to register.
19
Teen Photography Club
701.433.5460
www.westfargolibrary.org
Kiddos grades 8–12 meet the 1st & 3rd Monday of each month to share photos from the last meeting, learning new photography techniques, deciding what to photograph for the next meeting & take photos together. Class starts at 6:30pm & don't forget your camera.
20
Raise Safe Kids: One Stage at a Time
701.234.5570
www.meritcare.com
As infants and children go through a series of developmental stages, their different behavioral, cognitive, and physical capabilities can put them at increased risk for injury. In an environment designed for adults, children have a poor understanding of risks and danger. 6:00pm–7:30pm. Register online.
20 & 27
Teen Summer Job Workshop
701.241.1472
www.fargolibrary.org
The Fargo Public Library will be hosting informational summer job searching sessions designed especially for teens. Be at the Main Library April 20th at 6:30pm or
the Dr. James Carlson Library April 27th at 6:00pm for this 90-minute session that will cover job searching, filling out applications & interviewing tips! No registration required.
21
Kids are our Business Breakfast
701.293.7273
www.raccfm.com
Join the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center for breakfast at the Holiday Inn at 7:30am and help out a great cause. Seating is limited so call today. Cost: $65 individual tickets. Table & Event Sponsorships available. Pre-registration encouraged.
24
B.L.A.S.T. Babysitters Day
Camp
701.364.1704
www.fmambulance.com
The initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. They will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper changing techniques, also learn about when to call 911 and what
will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.
24
Art for Two
701.232.3821
www.plainsart.org
Ninety-year-old artist, Vernon Peterson— along with his trusted assistant, Sandy Ben-Haim—will show you how to celebrate Planet Earth in style. Create a centerpiece masterpiece by turning would-be trash into a bodacious botacious botanical bounty. For Adults & children ages 5–12.
24
Garden Party
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Get in the gardening mood at the Rheault Farm Bunkhouse from 1:30pm–4:30pm. Kids and parents will enjoy making buggy snacks and insect arts and crafts. There will also be a bug hunt, face painting and more! FREE admission.
1 cup soymilk, vanilla
1 cup orange juice
1 cup mango chunks, frozen
1 banana, sliced
2 Tbs soy protein powder
1/4 cup ice cubes
1 tsp honey, optional
Puree all ingredients in blender until smooth. Serve immediately.
Yield: 5 cups. Per 2 1/2 cup serving: 230 calories, 2 g fat (0 g sat fat), 0 mg cholesterol, 120 mg sodium, 46 g carbohydrate, 10 g protein (6 g soy protein), 3 g dietary fiber
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Looking for a Mother's Day present? During this class at the RDJ Rec Center 10:00am–11:30am, kiddos age 4–10 will be able to create a surprise present for their mom, step-mom, grandma or aunt.
1
Kite Day
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Come show off your kite flying skills at Ed Clapp Park from 12:30pm–3:00pm. Prizes will be given to winners in youth and adult categories. Compete for youngest flyer, oldest flyer, most original, most persistent, best stunt flyer and spectacular crash. Prizes will be awarded following the competition.
1
Penny & Pals
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Children ages 4–10 can spend time with Penny Andrist and her musical pals at the RDJ Rec Center starting at 10:00am. Children learn songs, dances and work with props-then show off what is learned at a
special performance at the end of each session for families and friends.
701.364.1704
www.fmambulance.com
The initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. They will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper changing techniques, also learn about when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.
1
701.364.3000
www.innovishealth.com
Music is a great tool to use to bond with your baby, while providing developmental stimulation to enhance and encourage cognitive, language, motor & social skills, as well as visual & auditory tracking abilities. This class starts at 10:00am and is taught by a Board Certified Music Therapist. Parents are encouraged to attend and bring their baby along. This class is ideal for babies 9wk–9mo of age. Registration is required and you can do it online.
701.433.5460
www.westfargolibrary.org
Kiddos grades 8–12 meet the 1st & 3rd Monday of each month to sharing photos from the last meeting, learning new photography techniques, deciding what to photograph for the next meeting & take photos together. Class starts at 6:30pm & don't forget your camera.
701.364.3000
www.innovishealth.com
The Happiest Baby on the Block class developed by Dr. Harvey Karp teaches parents how to calm baby and helps baby sleep better. Topics included are signs of colic, the 5 S's [how to calm a fussy baby], the calming reflex, the cuddle cure, remedies for colic, tips for new parents and a question and answer session. Registration is required and you can do it online.
701.373.7114
www.oakgrovelutheran.com for more information.
Oak Grove Lutheran School is holding an Open House for its Middle & High School [124 N Terrace, Fargo] from 7:00–8:00pm. Admissions Open Houses are information sessions about Oak Grove. Families learn details about academics, campus ministry, unique programs, student life and extracurricular activities. Participants have an opportunity to meet Oak Grove administrators, teachers and staff, as well as hear current parents and students share their Oak Grove experience. Contact Oak Grove’s Admissions Office for more information.
6
218.233.7594
www.larl.org
Head to the Moorhead Library & the kiddos can create their own beautiful Mother’s Day card to say thank you for all you do.
8
Teen Summer Job Workshop 701.241.1472
www.fargolibrary.org
The Fargo Public Library will be hosting informational summer job searching sessions designed especially for teens. Be at the Main Library at 2:00pm for this 90-minute session that will cover job searching, filling out applications & interviewing tips! No registration required.
8
American Girl Book Club
218.233.7594
www.larl.org
The Moorhead Library's American Girl book club is aimed at elementary school aged girls. They focus on one American Girl a month and discuss the books on that character. April features Kirsten, May features Molly & June feature Felicity. Treats will be served!
8
Doughnuts with Dad
Storytime
218.233.7594
www.larl.org
Come to the Moorhead Library & share a doughnut with the special guy in your life while listening to some fun stories featuring dads.
8 Baby Signs® Story Time
218.329.6713
www.babysignsprogram. com/withstephanie
Join Baby Signs® with Stephanie at Pout Baby Boutique [4325 13th Ave S, Fargo] at 10:30am for a free Baby Signs® Story Time! This fun and interactive story time is intended for parents and babies, birth to 3 years old, to enjoy together.
9
Happy Mom Day!
Enjoy your day...all day!
10
Hot Dog Walk
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
This fun & recreational event at Yunker Farm Dog Park is designed for dog enthusiasts. From 5:00pm–8:00pm pets participate in various categories such as best costume, best trick or dog/owner look alike. Dog owners will be served hot dogs and pop following the contest. The public is welcome to attend.
12
Community Block Party
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Come to Lindenwood Park from 5:30pm–8:00pm & party in the park with your friends
& family. Dance to music, participate in games or make arts & crafts. Free hot dog and Pepsi while supplies last.
15
Share a Story
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Bring the entire family to Rheault Farm from 10:30am–4:00pm & enjoy performers, musicians & community members telling stories in their own special way. The event includes free books, free food and free admission. Make books, enjoy art activities, meet Sid the Science Kid, dance with Penny and Pals & hear stories on the lawn.
15
Paws for Reading
701.241.1495
www.fargolibrary.org
Kiddos in grades K–6 can cuddle up & read to a certified reading therapy dog from 1:00pm–3:00pm at the Main Library. Sessions are 20 minutes long and will be in the community room. Bring your own book or pick one from our collection. Space is limited; registration is required.
16
FM Redhawks Home Opener
701.235.6161
www.fmredhawks.com
Get to Newman Field and catch the home
opener for the FM Redhawks as they take on the Winnipeg Goldeyes.
16
Kite Flying Day
701.433.5360
www.wfparks.org
Bring your own kite to Rendezvous Park & take time to enjoy the outdoors. This free event starts at 2:00pm & refreshments will be served.
19
Community Block Party
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Come to Rheault Farm from 5:30pm–8:00pm & party in the park with your friends & family. Dance to music, participate in games or make arts & crafts. Free hot dog and Pepsi while supplies last.
20
Car Seat Safety Check
701.234.5570
www.fmambulance.com
Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! Make an appointment between 1:30pm–5:30pm at FM Ambulance.
22
The Fargo Marathon
www.fargomarathon.com
Up for a challenge? Run or walk the
marathon, 1K, 5K, half, full marathon or relay with a team of friends. Run for yourself or a charity or simply attend and cheer on the pack!
24
Pediatric First Aid Class
701.364.1704
www.fmambulance.com
This course covers basic first aid of children. Located at Merigen Medical, [3148 Fiechtner Dr. South, Fargo] starting at 7:00pm. $35 fee. Register online.
26
Community Block Party
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Come to Bennet Park from 5:30pm–8:00pm & party in the park with your friends & family. Dance to music, participate in games or make arts & crafts. Free hot dog and Pepsi while supplies last.
31
Memorial Day
Remember those we've lost and those who gave their lives for us and our country.
2
8
12
18
Community Block Party
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Come to Village West Park from 5:30pm–8:00pm & party in the park with your friends & family. Dance to music, participate in games or make arts & crafts. Free hot dog and Pepsi while supplies last.
6
701.364.3000
www.innovishealth.com
The Happiest Baby on the Block class developed by Dr. Harvey Karp teaches parents how to calm baby and helps baby sleep better.Topics included are signs of colic, the 5 S's [how to calm a fussy baby], the calming reflex, the cuddle cure, remedies for colic, tips for new parents and a question and answer session. Register is required and you can do it online.
Touch
701.234.5570
www.meritcare.com
An infant massage class for parents and their infants. Free for parents who had their baby at MeritCare. Classes are held once a month in the evening from 7:00pm–9:00pm at MeritCare South University, 5th Floor Community Classroom. To register, call 701.234.5570.
8
Fargo School Board Election
Do your research and vote. If you don't vote, you don't get to voice your opinion.
9
Community Block Party
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Come to Roosevelt Park from 5:30pm–
8:00pm & party in the park with your friends & family. Dance to music, participate in games or make arts & crafts. Free hot dog and Pepsi while supplies last.
American Girl Book Club
218.233.7594
www.larl.org
The Moorhead Library's American Girl book club is aimed at elementary school aged girls. They focus on one American Girl a month and discuss the books on that character. April features Kirsten, May features Molly & June feature Felicity. Treats will be served!
16
Community Block Party
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Come to Courts Plus Fitness Center from 5:30pm–8:00pm & party with your friends & family. Dance to music, participate in games or make arts & crafts. Free hot dog and Pepsi while supplies last.
17
Car Seat Safety Check
701.234.5570
www.fmambulance.com
Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! Make an appointment between 1:30pm–5:30pm at FM Ambulance.
Midwest Kid Fest
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Join in this day by, for & about kids. Be at Island Park
11:00am–7:00pm & have fun at interactive educational booths, carnival games and entertainment stages. All activities are free!
18
Teddy Bear Parade
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Kids are invited to bring their favorite teddy bear to walk in the short parade around Island Park. Register at Dike West at 10:00am & parade begins at 10:30am.
19
Tour de Cure 2010
701.234.0123
www.diatetes.org/tour
Pull out your bike, dust off your spokes and join the American Diabetes Association as we cycle for a cure during the 2010 Fargo-Moorhead Tour de Cure, being held Saturday, June 19. The Tour de Cure is a ride, not a race, with routes designed for avid cyclists as well as recreational riders.
20
Happy Dad's Day
Time to doat on dad!
22
Wild West Jamboree
701.433.5360
www.wfparks.org
Join us for a Rootin' Tootin' time at the Rendezvous Park. Activities include country music, chuckwagon photos, gunny sack races, roping demonstrations & carriage rides. Free hotdogs, baked beans & a beverage will be served.
24
Community Play Day
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Take a mini-vacation at Reault Farm 9:00am–11:00am and 1:00pm–3:00pm. Kids will have fun playing games, doing a craft project & playing on the playgorund. Daycares are welcome. Adults supervision required.
28
Movie Night
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Watch a movie in Island park with your family & friends. Bring a lawn chair or blanket and enjoy the show. Free popcorn and pop while supplies last.
28
Pediatric First Aid Class
701.364.1704
www.fmambulance.com
This course covers basic first aid of children. Located at Merigen Medical, [3148 Fiechtner Dr. South in Fargo] starting at 7:00pm. $35 fee. Register online.
All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area it is encouraged organizations submit events for consideration to info@onthemindsofmoms.com
Our grandparents, or family elders, are uniquely positioned to influence us. Most often they aren’t saddled with the daily rut and responsibility of raising their grandchildren. The culmination of their history and experience and placement in our lives provides a nice recipe for us to learn. It’s up to us to tap into that expertise!
Eight years ago I was in Ashland, Pennsylvania, for the annual Kelly family reunion. My grandmom, Grace [Kelly] Boyle, and I sat in a bedroom and talked. She invited me to ask her anything. We chatted about family members and family stories that we’d never discussed before. It was the closest I’d ever felt to grandmom Boyle, and it paved the way for the relationship we have today.
My grandmom is not the type of grandma that most of our kids know. Oh, she’s a good grandparent. She loves each of us dearly. But she didn’t play with us when we were growing up, or dole out many hugs and “I love yous.” Her generation, sometimes, had a different idea of their roles. I remember many of our elders shushing us, saying, “Children should be seen not heard.” Can you imagine the crooked looks we’d get from kids today?!
Gracie Boyle turns 91 on May 29th. Anyone who’s lived that long has endured. She has always been proud, practical, tough, and quick with an opinion or
advice and never minces words, similar to many in her generation. Grandmom’s stoicism and strength have guided her through a large share of heartache. She lost her mom to breast cancer when she was just ten. She’s lived through the deaths of all five of her siblings, nursed her husband through lung cancer and lost him to the disease. Her only daughter was killed in a car accident. And we witnessed her age before our eyes, as our family endured the loss of her oldest grandchild, my brother, Danny, who was killed in the line of duty as a rookie Philadelphia police officer.
Childhood memories float into our consciousness. They’re often influential, inviting us to consider those moments again.
I can recall grandmom sitting at the kitchen table, deftly handling a ciggy in one hand [fingers pointed and nails perfectly manicured], and sipping on her one cold mug of beer a day. Her house was filled with Irish accents and memorabilia that told visitors, “I am 100% Irish and proud of it.”
Incidentally, grandmom quit smoking at the age of 80, right before gall-bladder surgery. When I asked, “Why stop now?” she answered, with a grin, “I wasn’t ready to before.” She definitely called the shots!
Grandparents of her time were practical, too. She fit the mold. Our Christmas gifts, year after year, were winter coats. We needed them, and she provided them. I don’t remember a toy. As we grew older, the coats were replaced with a card and a check, to “buy something we need.”
I remember the smell of grandmom Boyle’s roast beef dinners. She made the same thing, every visit, knowing it was our favorite: roast beef, home-made coleslaw, mashed potatoes, and corn. I used to mix them all together! The 7-up bottles we drank were a treat, too. To this day, I can’t pass the green 7-up cases in Hornbacher’s without noticing and smiling. She’d be pleased, knowing I hold these memories close to my heart.
Across the decades, she stiffened her back through pain and sadness. I have spent my life watching grandmom from the periphery, until that visit eight years ago, when I began to absorb her. There was an invitation to share these memories, our pain. Sitting together we cried and laughed as we zigzagged through our life-lines, and I welcomed her imprint.
Since then, grandmom and I have had some of the most memorable conversations and have built a relationship much deeper than I would have predicted. The years have changed her. As she aged, her shell has softened. Or is it that I grew up and grabbed my chance to learn from her? Either way, our relationship blossomed. And I connected to her wisdom and history. I hesitate to think what would have happed had I let that opportunity slip away from me.
Now, time has just about run out for us. She’s frail, can’t hear, and is mostly confused. Still, in true grandmom Boyle style, she continues on, at peace, knowing her mark is indelibly imprinted.
Recently, we flew to see grandmom. I recognize this may be one of our last times together. Despite her hearing deficit and memory lapses, the conversation flowed loudly, but easily, and we laughed, even giggled, at times. Each trip to grandmom’s is a wonderful souvenir for my kids, whom she doesn’t remember, but enjoys as they yell into her face asking if she needs anything, “a sip of iced tea, tissue, or how ‘bout your walker?” My nine year-old daughter drinks in every ounce of her great-grandmother. She sits next to her and holds her hand, examining the wrinkles, rubbing them gingerly. This child gets it. At nine, her intuition is one of her most astonishing gifts.
Our visit was special. At one point, for a moment, grandmom looked up at me and pointed, with a twinkle in her eye and a mild gasp, that told me, “I know you. I remember you’re woven in my life, somehow.” It was gone as quickly as it came, but I won’t forget that look for as long as I live.
Grandmom has spent her years living a simple, practical life. She focused on her responsibilities and provided for her family. Yes, she’s endured, and built a legacy of strength and perseverance. And somewhere, along the way, probably after bringing another generation into our family, it struck me that grandmom is an enduring influence in my life, a vital part of my narrative. She’s left her imprint on me . . . my heart . . . my family. When life throws me unexpected curveballs, I don’t duck. I try to stand tall, hang in there and endure, just like Gracie Boyle would expect. I’m doing my best, grandmom. Thanks for leading the way.
We will always love you. . .
Kathleen Wrigley is a Philadelphia native, wife to Drew, and Mother of tree, Quinn, Patrick and Harper. Kathleen is a full-time stay-at-home mom who dutifully volunteers. She serves on several community boards & committees, is active in her church, kids' school, and politics, and runs to sustain her own mental health! Before children, she was Director for Bismarck's Child Advocacy Center and was a former speech writer.
Served hot or cold, these kid-friendly mini pizza cups made in a muffin tin are ideal for an after-school snack, birthday party, sleep-over or a unique appetizer option. So easy to make you won’t think twice about letting the little ones help you in the kitchen.
photograph by | scott thuen
makes: 12 cups prep: 15 min bake: 15 min
what you need:
1 tube of pizza dough
1 pound extra lean ground beef*
1 ½ cups pizza sauce
1 tablespoon Italian seasoning shredded mozzarella cheese
mini pepperonis, chopped onions, green pepper, black olives or toppings of choice.
*ground turkey an alternative option
how to make it:
1. Brown ground beef in a skillet.
2. Stir in pizza sauce.
3. Add in Italian seasoning.
4. Heat through.
5. Roll out and flatten tube of pizza dough to desired thickness into a rectangle on a lightly floured surface.
6. Cut into 4 x 4 inch squares.
7. Press squares into lightly greased muffin cup tins, skipping every other muffin cup. Corners of dough will spill over.
8. Repeat procedure with remaining pizza dough pieces.
9. Sprinkle shredded mozzarella cheese over dough in bottom of each cup.
10. Evenly spoon beef over cheese.
11. Sprinkle with onion, green pepper, pepperoni and cheese
12. Bake at 350°F 15 - 20 minutes or until crusts are browned and cheese is melted
source: on the minds of moms
13. Remove from oven and sprinkle cheese over top of meat.
Have you lately allowed yourself to slip away in la-la land and fantasize about what you would do if you had a whole afternoon to yourself and $100 to spend?” If the answer is ‘no’, you’re not alone. We polled On The Minds Of Moms Facebook fans and here is what they said.
I would pay someone $100 to have my house clean and laundry done so I could focus all my attention on emptying my DVR of all the shows I have recorded but never have time to watch. Ahhh....bliss!!!
—Michelle W., Minot
I'm giddy just thinking about it! I'd start my afternoon off shopping at a couple stores I never go to with the kids and then I'd finish it off with a relaxing massage.
—Susan B., Fargo
I would go out to lunch and take in a movie. Then I think I would hang out at the bookstore and treat myself to some new cookbooks. You meant a REALLY long afternoon, right?
—Trina H., Grafton
I'd go nuts in the 2nd hand and thrift stores - money goes so much further [especially on kid clothes] and I feel so good about reducing, recycling & reusing!
—Michelle L., Fargo
I would get a massage, than I’d head to Barnes and Noble where I would spend the afternoon reading and drinking coffee.
—Jolene S., Oxbow
I would go and purchase scrapbook materials and catch up on my SCRAPBOOKING! It’s very relaxing, especially when you see the end result and have memories that you and your family can cherish FOREVER!
—Heidi T., West Fargo
I would put the money in my purse and take a LONG nap! An afternoon to myself definitely trumps the $100.
—Mandy J., Dilworth
As a mom of infant twins and a Kindergartner, I would check into a hotel so I could take a peaceful nap and not have to worry about all the other things around the house that need to get done.
—Lisa N., West Fargo
First, a much needed massage, then out to treat some girlfriends and I to some wine.
—Kris N., Moorhead
I would have lunch therapy with my bestie, TK- and then treat myself to a fresh hair cut, color and styleeven if I was not due for one!! Nothing makes me feel better or adds a better spring in my step than a fresh hair do!
—Erin B., Fargo
I would take my laptop to a coffee shop, have lunch, purchase digital scrapbooking supplies, and start my 2 year olds baby book.
—Jacy V., Harwood
I'd get a haircut, complete with a total head massage. Then go home to watch lifetime movies in bed alone.
—Erica J., West Fargo
I'd get a massage and hope the person giving it was one of those that does NOT talk through the whole thing!
—Julie F., Fargo
I would go out for a nice lunch with just my husband. We never have time together without our two girls tagging along, so this would be a special treat! After lunch I’d enjoy the rest of the afternoon shopping at some of my favorite spots, alone and in peace and quiet!
—Michelle P., Moorhead
In 1994 while working at Great Shape Women’s Health Club, Stacey Allard and Kate Frappier discovered they had the same passion for wellness. Six years later they would branch away and join forces in a business partnership that today is called Health Pros Personal Training Center, Inc. This year marks Health Pros 10 year anniversary and still to this day, Stacey [mom to 12-year-old Kacee and 10-year-old Kelli] and Kate [mom to 8-year-old Sophia] are proud to offer a relaxing, comfortable setting that allows clients to feel at home in an unintimidating environment. With approximately 100 clients between the two, the greatest testaments to their work are the dedicated clients who have been training with Stacey and Kate since they started their personal training careers. Kate and Stacey are extremely grateful to be making an impact in the wellness of their clients and they believe it’s never too late to start focusing on your health and wellness. Health Pros is a place where you don’t have to be in shape to start working out.
how is Health Pros different from other personal training gyms?
Health Pros offers all the amenities of a large scale Health Club without the crowd. We are a 1 on 1 and small group personal training center where there is no membership fee, orientation fee or consultation fee…all you pay for is personal training. Health Pros offers all the programs you need to meet your fitness goals.
what kind of services do you offer?
a] One on One Personal Training and Group Personal Training which include muscular strength, cardiovascular, balance & flexibility training. “If you don’t use it, you lose it”
b] Yoga & Pilates offered by Bonnie Siverson who has been with us for close to 10 years
c] Zumba – group fitness latin-based dance class offered by Kim Brandt what is the #1 lesson you want every client to learn?
Commit yourself to regular exercise and sound nutritional habits, don’t think about it too much, just do it. Get organized and plan your meals and exercise sessions. Knowledge is everything but
nothing if you don’t apply it. Learn how to exercise efficiently and effectively so you get the greatest benefits for your efforts. Set up a realistic plan to avoid being miserable with dieting and appreciate that losing weight and getting in shape requires daily commitment and determination. “Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or little has its stages of drudges and triumph and a victory.”
In the initial planning stages of Health Pros we were continually warned of how most business partnerships often fail. We have made the commitment to maintain constant communication with one another and we have persevered. We can’t control the economy, but we can control the fact that we will
continue to do the best job we can at servicing our clients in personal training.
That cardiovascular training is best for fat burning. It’s not, resistance training beats it hands down, the more muscle you have the more calories you burn at rest.
We have a balance of the different food groups with each meal and implement activity in our life. None of us are perfect, but the 80/20 rule is a good one to follow. If you can have a good balance 80% of the time, you can afford to splurge 20% of the time.
We have no excuse not to exercise; it is at our fingertips every day. Our advice to others: set goals for yourself, start out slowly, think variety, have fun, track your progress, exercise with a friend and definitely make an appointment with your trainer for accountability and to stay motivated.
what advice can you share with moms to help child obesity?
Begin with smaller portions served on their plate so when you are a member of “The Clean Plate Club” you haven’t gone over on your portions. Try to have each meal consist of at least one food from each food group. Provide healthy snacks and calorie controlled snacks [i.e. 100 cal. options] to your kids. Remember mindless eating happens in front of the TV so limit eating to the kitchen table. Eat as a family as often as you can. Exercise as a family [we all need it]…. make it fun.
what thoughts would you share with other moms who might be considering starting a business?
Go for it! There is nothing like pursuing your passion in life and you never know until you try. Live your life with no regrets.
You are juggling many obligations — family, work, community — but you also want to earn your degree. So the University of Mary created programs that allow you to do them all!
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2108 South University Drive, Ste. 105B, Fargo
www.healthprosfargo.com info@healthprosfargo.com
701.297.PROS [7767]
• Counseling (2 nights/week, starts in September)
knowledge is everything but nothing if you don’t apply it .
All of us have taken countless math classes in our lives. The only reason I still know the definition of a quadratic equation or what most of the funky buttons on the calculator are for is because I happen to teach middle school math. But when it comes to Mommy Math, we are all at the head of the class. Check out this math quiz and don't worry—you already have an A!
1. Timmy dumps eight markers on the floor and takes off their caps. How many caps are left when it's time to clean up?
a] Why, eight of course.
b] Seven or less.
c] There are eight caps, but the colors don't match the markers.
d] I have time to clean up? Forget that, I'm taking a nap.
2. Danny is six years old. How long should he be in time out?
a] Six minutes, one minute for each year of age.
b] Sixty minutes, so I can get some dishes done.
c] Six hours, or until he falls asleep.
d] How long does it take to get him to Grandma's house?
3. You ran out of milk so you go to the grocery store. How many items do you leave with?
a] Just one, the milk. I'm an expert at sticking to the budget.
b] Between five and ten, so I can whip something up for dinner.
c] More than ten. Butterfingers were on sale.
d] Crap! I forgot to get milk!
4. How many times per day should your toddler eat?
a] Three balanced meals + two healthy snacks = five
b] He should eat when he's hungry. That could mean six times, or it could mean that today he survived on air and a smile.
c] I offered him three balanced meals; he ate Goldfish crackers, Cheerios, two Oreos, and four glasses of chocolate milk.
d] If Play Doh counts as food, then it's at least seven.
5. How long does it take 4-year-old Mary to select a DVD to watch?
a] Just a minute or two, then she sits quietly and contentedly through the entire movie.
b] One second. It will be the same movie we watched last time. And the time before that. And the time before that....
c] Ten seconds. Then three minutes into it, she will select a different movie. Then five minutes into that one, she'll pick a third movie. Then four minutes into that one, she'll want the first one again.
d] Seven minutes to drive to the movie rental store + two minutes to pick out a movie + ten minutes for a tantrum because she can't rent Jaws ["I want the fish movie!!!"] + three minutes to pay while everyone stares at your screaming child + seven minutes to drive back home = she fell asleep on the way home and won't be watching a movie anyway.
6. Twelve-year-old Madison came home one hour and twenty-seven minutes after her curfew. What's the best way to get her to come home on time in the future?
a] Have a meaningful talk with her about your love and concern for her well-being.
b] Txt her 2 b home b4 10pm.
c] Write a reminder on her Facebook wall.
d] Threaten to "friend" everyone she knows and update your Facebook status to "That birthmark on Madison's cute little behind gets bigger with every passing year" if she's late again.
7. Riley forgot to tell you he needs twenty-five treats for his third-grade class tomorrow...and it's 8:42 pm. What do you do?
a] Hit the kitchen and start making cookies from scratch. You keep all the ingredients on hand just in case.
b] Dig random treats out of the cupboards until you find twenty-five. Some kids will get Fruit Roll Ups and others will get Fiber One bars... that's life.
c] Go to the store and buy two dozen pre-made cookies...and hope one kid is sick tomorrow so you don't have to spend another $3.69 to get that darn 25th cookie.
d] Hand Riley an apron and a cookbook. Go watch Desperate Housewives. He knows where to find you if he has questions.
Correct Answers: Any of the above. Just because you're having an 'A' day at your house today, just wait till tomorrow. Mommy math is like Enron accounting: the numbers can be anything you want them to be.
This section is dedicated to capturing your mom thoughts. Want to share what’s on your mind? Submit your article idea to info@onthemindsofmoms.com along with a short bio for consideration in an upcoming issue.
A third generation dairy and grain farmer, Jon and younger brother Mark grew up in Lisbon with parents Alan & Julie. With a degree in Dairy Production from South Dakota State University, Jon and wife Courtney have spent the last year-an-a-half experiencing parenthood with twins Ellery and Carson. When work and daddy duty doesn’t occupy his time, Jon enjoys snowmobiling, ATVing, jet skiing and hunting in the fall. A self proclaimed motor machine fanatic, Jon likes reading magazines that have anything to do with diesel trucks, 4-wheelers, or snowmobiles.
i’d like to learn how to…
Ride a motorcycle. Everyone assumes that I’ve ridden one since I ride everything else with a motor.
something every guy should have… A tube of Neosporin in their vehicle. I have the disillusion it can fix any cut or scrape I get…or at least help.
the most unique thing about having twins…
How unique two children’s personalities can be while growing up in the same home at the same age. Another thing that is unique to our family is that my wife is also a twin. She has a twin brother who is also one of her closest friends. For Courtney it is fun to watch Carson and Ellery be such good friends already. We hope that relationship lasts forever.
All the family support we had while Courtney was pregnant. She was on bed rest in Fargo for a month before we had our twins at 35 weeks. It could have been extremely stressful, but all of their support helped us keep our sanity. Our family is still very supportive and helpful whenever we need them. We are very blessed.
Too many to mention. Maybe deciding if I can enter the house with my work clothes on or if I am too dirty to set foot inside! I always have an extra set of clothes in the garage to change into if I’m too dirty, so I can at least walk right to the shower!
being
Having a quiet dinner with my wife. It’s easy to forget about time for the two of us after kids. Time goes by so quickly.
in my truck I listen
Octane on my XM radio. The XM is nice to toss into different tractors and trucks at work. It makes the days in the field go by faster.
With our families at the lakes and snowmobiling in Montana. I also enjoy reading magazines on our porch while relaxing on a quiet evening.
As many new, unique places & events as possible.
How amazing it was to see me go from being afraid to hold babies to holding our tiny twins in the MeritCare NICU like I had been a dad forever. Ellery was only 3 lbs 4 ounces. So everyone was scared to hold her right away, but I held her feeling totally natural like she was ready to leave the hospital.
people can’t believe it when I tell them…
I’m a dairy farmer. Some people say I don’t look the part. I missed the memo that dairy farmers have a stereotype.
the one quality I hope my kids get from their mother…
Her creativity. She is full of creative ideas when I can’t think outside of the box. you would never catch me…
Eating green olives. For some strange reason, it is the only thing I won’t eat. my favorite
Any Slednecks movie. I’m a sucker for extreme snowmobiling footage. That would be my dream job if my body was invincible. The riders in the films break bones every year trying to go bigger on a snowmobile.
A Child’s intensity is a gift that needs to be nurtured. The Nurtured Heart Approach has been proven to create GREATNESS in even the most intense children - very quickly and in inspiring and lasting ways. Children learn to believe in themselves and have confidence in successes that flow from investing intensity, intelligence and life force into positive action.
Attend and you will leave with a powerful set of skills you can use immediately to help children live life in positive waysand flourish!
FREEworkshop for parents
April 29, 2010
6:30 – 8:30 p.m. Ramada Plaza Suites 1635 42 St. S. Fargo, N.D.
FREE –
Registration required: Call 701-241-5700 or e-mail diane.langer@ ndsu.edu
www.ext.nodak.edu/county/cass
An excellent trumpeter. I actually continued playing trumpet in college with the SDSU marching band. That gave me the opportunity to play at a Green Bay Packers game and march in Washington, D.C. in the July 4, 2000 Parade. A side note about the Washington trip—we had been cutting and baling hay putting in very long hours, many of them at night. I got on the bus in Brookings and slept around 20 hours. Fellow band members woke me to see if I was alright. I felt rested when we arrived. my kids love it when…
I come home for lunch after they‘ve already eaten. Then they sit in my lap and see how much better the food tastes off of my big plate. It makes it more challenging to eat, but I enjoy them being so adorable while they are young.
master’s hand photography
ria lee photography
photography by kathi
lisa nelson photography
master’s hand photography
photography by kathi
photography by kathi
master’s hand photography
lisa nelson photography
lisa nelson photography
Up in the morning and off you go! Get the kids fed, dressed and off to school, go to work, make the beds, clean the house, do the wash, walk the dog, feed the dog, clean up after the kids, plan meals, go grocery shopping, plan extracurricular activities, run kids to those activities, cook meals, serve dinner, do the dishes, pay the bills, deal with all of the unexpected “surprises” that surface during the day…Whew! Did you know that studies have shown that moms work up to 91 hours a week?
Being a mom is without a doubt one of the most rewarding experiences imaginable. The love we feel for our children is unlike any other...it is deeply heartfelt, unconditional and will bring out those protective “mama bear” instincts in a second. At the same time, we know that it is not always easy. It takes immense physical, emotional and mental energy to keep up with all the demands. Like a roller coaster, there are ups, downs and lots of unexpected turns along the way.
Sometimes we get so busy caring for our families that we either forget about ourselves or we find it hard to find the time to meet our own needs. Many moms feel guilty taking time away from their families. When you take care of yourself you feel stronger, more relaxed, more fulfilled and more capable of being a good mom.
physical self
exercise: Find a routine and commit to consistency. cardio –Running, jogging, cycling, swimming...30 minutes per day to prevent chronic disease and 60 minutes per day to prevent gradual unhealthy weight gain. Find something you enjoy doing and grab a friend to join you. Make sure you’re breaking a sweat and your heart rate is up. Exercise makes you feel better, controls weight gain, decreases the incidence of cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure, Alzheimer's, osteoporosis, depression and anxiety. It’s probably the single best preventative thing you can do for yourself!
lift weights –Total body workout that focuses on all major muscles. Shoot for 2-3 times a week. Take a day off in between workouts so muscles can recover and get stronger. If you need help, hire a personal
trainer to get you started. After the age of 30 we lose 10% of our muscle mass every decade. Don’t lose those muscles ladies...lift! lift! lift!
stretch –It’s best to stretch after your workout when muscles are warmed up. Stretching is great for posture, spinal alignment and keeping muscles strong and balanced. Try to focus on all different muscle groups and hold each stretch for 20 seconds. Yoga and Pilates are especially good for flexibility. rest: It seems like being a mom and being sleep deprived just go hand in hand. In the past, sleep was often ignored, but now doctors are beginning to understand the importance of getting at least 7-9 hours per night. Sleep balances our hormones, resulting in an overall state of health and well being. When we don’t get enough, we are more likely to get acute and chronic illnesses. Here are some helpful hints for restful nights.
caffeine –Avoid any beverages that contain caffeine for several hours before bedtime.
exercise –Keep high energy activity to day time hours and avoid physical activity within 2 hours of going to bed.
nap –Sneaking a power rest during the day when the kids lay down for a nap is smart. Your health is more important than doing the extra chores that might need to be done at that time.
bedroom –Keep your bed for sleeping and sex. Don’t watch TV or do work in your room.
sleep aids –Choosing a natural option is really the best. Try taking 250mg of magnesium and 500mg of calcium before you go to bed. This little combo really works! It also relieves symptoms of ‘restless leg syndrome‘ and helps with constipation.
nutritional self
eat well: Balance your diet with 50-60% carbohydrates, 25-30% protein and 25-30% fats.
carbs –Not evil and are necessary, but carbohydrates should come in the form of whole grains, fruits and vegetables.
protein –Lean meats, chicken, fish, beans and nuts, and fats should be mostly from the healthy monounsaturated fats like olive oil, avocados and nuts. A good guide is to take your weight in pounds and divide it in half. That number is the average number of grams of protein you need in a day. fats –Avoid the unhealthy trans fats completely. sugar–The American Heart Association recommends limiting added sugar to no more than 100 calories per day [that equals 6 teaspoons of sugar]. Avoid artificial sweeteners, preservatives and fried foods. take supplements: It’s always best to get our nutrients from food, but sometimes it’s hard.
multivitamin –Create a safety net by taking a quality multivitamin. Look for USP label on the bottle to ensure quality.
fish oil –A great way to ensure you’re getting your healthy omega 3 fatty acids. Look for a quality brand that has at least 1000mg of EPA [for your heart] and DHA [for your brain] combined nutrients in each serving. Fish oil can thin the blood a little so if that is an issue be sure to check with your doctor first.
vitamin d –A huge source of vitamin D comes from sunshine and because of where we live we don’t get enough. Take 1000 to 2000IUs of Vitamin D [make sure it’s D3] every day. Ask your doctor for a Vitamin D level to see if you need more. Adequate Vitamin D is necessary for a healthy immune system and has also been shown to protect us against cancer.
calcium –Make sure you’re getting enough calcium from milk and dairy products and if not take 500-1000mg per day in a supplement. Take only 500mg at a time.
emotional self
remember the inside: Having pride in yourself and continuing to grow are as important at how far you run or how much you lift when taking care of yourself.
passion –Find something that you are passionate about! Something that makes your heart sing... something for YOU! Follow your dreams!
joy –Keep joy in your life by surrounding yourself with people you enjoy. Avoid people who “drag you down”. Go to places and do things that make you laugh and feel happy!
spirit –Fulfill your spiritual self by seeking meaning and purpose in life. This is a very personal journey that only you can define.
limit stress: Throw the word perfect out the window. Striving for perfection will make you crazy! simplify–Your life! Eliminate the unimportant stuff. organize –Use a list technique. When the list gets long, prioritize by doing the most important things first.
tasks –It takes less energy to get an unpleasant task done right now than to worry about it all day. support –Have and make use of a strong social support system. When you’re concerned about something, talk it over with someone you trust. Don’t be afraid to seek out professional help if
you feel unable to cope. Asking for help is a sign of strength...not weakness.
no –Learn to use the word “no” when asked to do something you don’t want to do. Another sign of strength!
guilt –Choose to not waste your precious present life on guilt about the past or worry about the future. We all learn a great deal from the mistakes we make in life. Live in the present moment and prepare optimistically for the future.
routine –Understand that starting a new routine will take time. Don’t try to change everything at once but instead, decide which area of your life you’d like to focus on first. Be patient with yourself.
We have the most important job in the world...being a mom. Keeping ourselves balanced not only gives us the tools we need to be the best we can be for our kids, but it also teaches our kids that caring for ourselves is important. They learn more from what we do than from what we say. Be a role model of physical, nutritional and emotional health...your children will grow up wanting to be just like you!
If you had told Heather Butler when she graduated high school what her life would be like in twenty years, she would probably have thrown her head back and launched into her hearty, infectious laugh. She would have looked you straight in the eye—she’s spunky and direct—and said in her throaty voice, “Yeah, right!” Who knew she’d be a dental hygienist and a stay at home mom? She’d spend thousands of hours volunteering and fishing. She’d be divorced once, married twice and have not three, not four, but five, beautiful children. And believe it or not…she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Growing up in Rothsay, Minnesota, Heather Butler lived the typical, all American, life. She and her brother rounded out the three generations of Balkens to graduate from Rothsay High School. “I graduated with 13 people in my class,” she says, “the smallest in school history.”
Her family was tight-knit and her parents each had a profound influence. Growing up, Heather’s father fostered a love of the outdoors. They would spend long summer days on the lakes learning how to fish and the Fall meant hunting season. To this day, the self-described tomboy counts fishing and hunting as her favorite hobbies.
Her mother fueled a desire to volunteer not by just talking to her children about the importance of giving back, but by showing them. From an early age, Heather would tag along with her mother visiting area nursing homes. She and her older brother were in charge of delivering books to senior residents. “You know, the old fashioned way, on a cart,” she says with a chuckle. “Even as a child, Heather had the ability to connect with elderly people,” recalls her mother, Polly.
For Heather, it was simply something she enjoyed. “I had older grandparents and great grandparents and I just always loved, loved, loved the elderly,” Heather says. “All through high school and college it was something I was involved in—working at nursing homes or just taking an older person who was alone under my wing.” Things where moving right along for this small town girl in the typical manner. When she was a junior in college pursuing a dental hygienist profession, Heather met someone she described as “a great guy”. They were happy together, decided to marry and in the coming years welcomed a daughter named Payton and a son named Mason.
But things began to change and the once happy couple questioned their future as a family. Try as they might, Heather and her husband realized they were better apart than together. They divorced after seven and a half years of marriage. It was a huge disappointment. She felt like a failure; like she let her children and her family down. “Divorce knocks you back, it darn near knocks you down,” she says.
But Heather was still standing. She was a single mother living on her own. She was maintaining a full-time job and losing time for much of the volunteer work that had brought her so much love and cheer over the years. But she was still standing and forging on.
At this point, Heather’s life was nowhere near the one she had imagined for herself. And as a new divorcee, the last thing on her mind was getting involved in another relationship. Instead she focused her attention on her kids and her profession. But one of her dental patients had a different idea and was keen on getting to know Heather more.
“I wouldn’t necessarily say he was my favorite patient,” she jokes. “No, really, that’s the standing joke now, because he wasn’t. At times we had butted heads.” Despite countless messages, Heather didn’t return his phone calls. Then one night she picked up.
Dan Butler had been there before; divorced for nearly a decade before their first date. He understood where Heather was at in her life. Drawn to her feisty and
independent character, Dan was looking for a life partner with a deep personality. “Heather isn’t afraid to speak her mind and can hold her own,” says Dan. Yet sensitive to the timing, he didn’t want to rush the relationship and made sure the date was a low pressure event. “He asked me out and we went golfing,” recalls Heather. “We bonded, connected and had a lot of things in common.”
As the pair got to know each other, their conversations became more candid and serious. Friendship turned to love and their talks turned to marriage. Like any couple entering a second marriage one of the biggest questions was how would they tell their kids and would they accept the idea of a blended family.
Sharing their news with family started with Dan’s children, Trina and Nathan, then teenagers whom Heather had grown to adore. “I just took the approach that I understand you have a great mom and I’ll be what you want me to be,” Heather remembers telling them.
“Technically I’ll be your stepmom but if you want me to be your friend or confidant or buddy or just your dad’s wife that’s fine. I sort of put the ball in their court and it worked out well.”
“Heather brought more than two little children to our family,” says Trina. “Her enthusiasm for life has also brought growth to my life. She has helped me develop into the person I am today—I am more independent and compassionate than I used to be. I admire her motivation to get things done and her compassion for others.”
Telling Payton and Mason was a separate challenge, but Dan’s love for Heather’s children helped win them over. “I can’t speak for other couples, but it was one of those situations where Dan didn’t not know what he was getting himself into,” says Heather. “He loves them like they’re his own.”
One thing that made the transition easier for Heather [and her children] was her relationship with her ex-husband. “He’s a great dad, he’s a great guy,” she says. “We have a really good working relationship now.”
With everyone’s blessing, Dan and Heather married in February 2005. “I always say it’s better to have too much love than not enough,” Heather says.
The blended Butler home was already filled with love, but something was missing. Heather and Dan wanted another child, but Heather wasn’t able to carry another baby.
As a young woman and throughout her adult life, Heather struggled with chronic female medical issues. When she turned 30 her doctor recommended a permanent solution, which meant having a hysterectomy.
While engaged and on a deer hunting trip home to Rothsay with a cousin who had recently adopted a child, Heather and Dan began wondering if that option might be right for them. They asked question after question and by the end of the trip Heather and Dan began to feel adoption may be the best choice and fit for their family.
Shortly after getting married, they decided the time was right to begin the adoption process. Heather placed a call to Adopt Help, a domestic adoption center based in California. They were picked by a birth mother almost immediately and the family began preparing for their
new arrival. But it wasn’t meant to be. The birth mother changed her mind. “It was heart wrenching,” recalls Heather. Dan remembered the pain of the situation and did his best to console his wife. “There is always risk of disappointment when feelings are involved,” he says. Undeterred, the adoption process continued and Heather prayed her family would get picked again, and they were. This time a 33-year-old woman from North Carolina, who was due in January, chose Heather and Dan to raise her unborn son.
This birth mother had a unique story. Earlier in her life, she was told she could never get pregnant and for the longest time, didn’t know she was. Having a child was something she and her partner weren't prepared for. But she came from a large family with lots of siblings and knew her baby boy would grow up surrounded by brothers and sisters in the Butler home.
“I was elated,” Heather says with her big smile. “I remember thinking, ‘I can’t believe this is happening to me!’”
Equally excited, were Payton and Mason. “I was really happy when they said that we would be getting a baby,” says Payton, now a 7th grader. “I always wanted a really younger brother or sister because Mason is only two years younger than me so we are very close in age.”
In the early morning hours of Thanksgiving 2005, Heather’s phone rang. “I hear my case worker say, ‘Heather, this is Gabby.’ And I went uhhhh [let’s a long sigh out] and said, ‘not again.’ My heart just sank.”
“But Gabby goes, ‘I hope you’re sitting down—your birth mother had your baby this morning—Happy Thanksgiving!”
The irony of their son’s arrival on Thanksgiving wasn’t lost on Heather. “What a gift,” she exclaims. Heather and Dan and Heather’s mother, Polly, immediately packed their bags and flew to North Carolina to meet their newborn son.
“We were able to meet him that night so he was not quite 24 hours old when we got there,” says Heather. The
compassion and acceptance the birth mother showed next caught Heather off-guard. “We walked in and she’s sleeping with him on her chest. She woke up when she heard us, and immediately started asking us, ‘How are you? How was your flight? I’m so glad you’re here.’”
Then she handed the baby to Heather and Dan, and said, ‘Here’s your son.’ The couple named him Isaac, which means he who laughs.
Polly says it was love at first sight. “He was so tiny - barely 5 lbs. - and stole our hearts the moment we saw him,” she says. “Isaac’s birth mother is a strong and courageous woman who wants a good life for her child. She very unselfishly put her child first and chose Heather and Dan to be Isaac's parents.”
Heather is equally amazed at Isaac’s birth mother’s generosity. “I thank God for her everyday,” she says with tears in her eyes. “He came from the most loving and unselfish person I’ve met in my entire life. Isaac completed us.”
Isaac quickly claimed his spot in the Butler family. “He’s beautiful, energetic and healthy,” says Heather. “I tease that he’s got the Balken energy and the Butler attitude! So both sets of in-laws are like, ‘have fun!’”
Have fun they do. Mason says he couldn’t ask for a better brother. In the summer the boys like to play baseball and go tubing. Payton sums up her family’s latest addition saying, “I feel really good about having Isaac in our lives.”
Just before Isaac’s adoption, Heather and Dan decided she would leave her job and become a stay at home mom. This would be the ideal combination for Heather to stay home with her three children under the age of 7 and allow her to pursue all of the volunteer activities that were so important to her. “I knew I needed something that would fulfill that part of me,” she explains.
She signed on as a patient care volunteer with Hospice of the Red River Valley. That means, on any given day, Heather could be reading to patients, walking with them, writing letters for them or cleaning their homes. “One patient was bed-ridden and in and out of consciousness,”
she remembers. “But he and his wife were big card players. So I’d go in and play cards with his wife.”
Deb Kluck, Volunteer Services Manager at Hospice of the Red River Valley, says it was obvious from the start that Heather believed in the program and loves what she does. “She is very dedicated to a patient when she is matched,” says Deb. “She has been called in at a moments notice and will sit with a patient—even into the night. You just feel good when you are around her. She treats patients and families like they have been friends for a long time. She makes people feel comfortable.”
When she talks about Hospice, Heather shows no signs of sadness and defeat, only compassion and empathy. She feels she is helping people pass on with dignity and love. She says being a Hospice volunteer has taught her a lot about how she would like to be treated when she reaches that stage. “When I’m old and my kids have grown up and moved away, I wish that someone, even if it’s a perfect stranger, would think that I’m important enough to spend a few hours with,” she passionately states. “To help someone through that process is hopefully a gift for them, but truly, it’s a gift for me.”
And Heather’s volunteer work doesn’t stop with Hospice. She makes regular visits to nursing homes and, through her church, spends time at Innovis Hospital and bringing communion to homebound parishioners.
Heather often brings along Payton, Mason and Isaac to help cheer up the people she helps while volunteering and she hopes her children are learning the same lesson she did when her mother brought her to nursing homes when she was younger. That’s part of the reason why Heather chose to send Isaac to Elim Childcare and Senior Living Community for pre-school.
It’s true that Heather Butler’s life didn’t turn out the way she planned. She never intended to find the love of her life the second time around. Nor did she know that she’d adopt a child. Or have time to devote to her passion for volunteering. But even through all the ups and downs—a divorce, hysterectomy, remarriage, new role as a stepmother, adoption—Heather has never asked, ‘why me?’ In fact, she’s grateful for all of the challenges, heartache and joy that has come her way. “Embrace it. Live it. Love it.” she says with a smile.
photograph by | scott thuen
story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe
it…you’ve planned, packed and repacked for the magical family vacation that everyone will enjoy and this fabulous family experience is captured in a photo of the whole family smiling while standing on the beach, with Mickey, around the campfire or at Yankee stadium. Sure it’s possible, but it’s inevitable that you’re going to forget something, the kiddos will fight, someone will roll their eyes and odds are the defined navigator at one point will have no idea where they are going [while still acting like they know exactly the route]. Ahhh the joys of vacationing. Here’s the 411 so you [and the rest of the family] get there and back in one piece!
You know wee ones are hard work, but leave the comfort of home and it’s a whole new ball of wax. Not only do you have to worry about your travel necessities, but who knew this tiny little person’s bag would be bigger than yours!
pack it up
As soon as you bring your wee one home [or even before] they have lots of ‘stuff’. Swings and bouncers and pack n plays…oh my! Of course you need diapers, bottles, clothes, formula and what not, but here are a few things
you need to remember to bring with as you vacation with your wee one:
• put a lid on it Have a cap with you regardless of the time of year. That little melon needs to stay warm or be shaded from the sun’s rays.
• the favs Your wee one is a creature of habit, so don’t forget the things he finds comfort in. Also, as hard as it might be, try to keep your wee one’s schedule as close to normal as possible especially when it comes to eating and sleeping.
• dr. mom to the rescue Bring a first aid kit with some of the essentials like a thermometer, calamine lotion or hydrocortisone cream, tweezers, scissors, nail clipper, nasal aspirator bulb, Q-tips, band-aids and Tylenol.
• bag it Oh the versatility of a Ziplock bag. Store anything from food to stinky diapers with ease.
• patience Like every stage in your wee one’s life to this point, prepare for everything including the unexpected. It’s a guarantee there will be challenging times, so bring an extra portion of patience.
You’re used to taking your wee one around town in the family truckster, but what about a plane? Here are just a few things to remember when traveling by air:
• passport? If you are traveling outside the country your wee one will need a passport.
• milk? You are able to carry on formula, breast milk or juice in quantities larger than 3oz. You need to declare you have the items at the security checkpoint and then present them at the x-ray for further inspection.
• seat? You aren’t required to buy a ticket for your wee one, but you might want to consider it. I mean can you imagine driving to the grocery store with your wee one on your lap? Never! But not every car seat is approved for air travel, so look for a sticker on it stating it is or isn’t. For those wee ones that are over a year old and between 22–44 pounds, consider a CARES [child aviation restraint system]. It is basically a harness that works with the planes existing seatbelt.
each year, approximately 58 people in the US are injured by turbulence while not wearing seat belts
Could there be a more torturous activity than being a tot strapped in a car seat for hours at a time? Not from his point of view and odds are, he’ll let you know about his displeasure…very loudly!
on the road again
Have you ever had the shoulder belt of your seat belt lock when you are driving and I’m not talking about when you’re in an accident [better lock up then!]? It just locks up and you can’t move forward. How confining and annoying! So who could blame your tot for getting a little irritated as he sits in his 5 point harnesses with barely any wiggle room! It’s our job to keep him safe, which means being in a car seat at ALL times as you travel, but it’s also our job to make the journey as painless for everyone in the vehicle. Here are tips to tame the travel tantrums:
• hey what’s that? In a nutshell, your main mission for getting from point A to point B is simply distraction. Whether it’s a game, nap, food or drink, your best mode of defense from a meltdown is to keep your tot occupied so he doesn’t remember where he is and that he doesn’t really like it.
• sweet dreams A sleeping tot is ideal as you travel, so try to time your travel around nap time and get a few hours of silence.
• entertain New toys, colors, movies & games can be a big hit. Be sure and consider the Fargo, West Fargo & Moorhead Libraries where you can check out kits that include books, games & crafts or download e-books that are narrated. This is an awesome resources and great for the older kiddos too!
• everybody pees Before leaving the house or as you are on the road and get closer to the time your tot will nap, make sure everyone has gone to the bathroom.
The best way to wake a content sleeping tot…make a pit stop for a potty break!
• snack attack Bring along easy to eat [and store] snacks for your tot. Try to keep them as healthy as possible because a big sugar buzz is not going to help your cause. Be very conscious of the choking hazard snacks and food may pose.
Cinderella, Prince Charming, Goofy & Mickey…it’s a preschoolers utopia in southern Florida. The magic kingdom can provide memories of a lifetime, but hopefully they don’t create flashbacks of Disney World gone amuck for you!
goin to disney
Truly, a trip to any of the Disney theme parks can be magical for you and your preschooler. I mean how fun to watch your preschooler meet the real Snow White…
priceless! Here are a few tips when you’re making magical plans:
• dot com Start by checking out the Disney World website [www.disneyworld.disney.go.com]. There is a ton of info that can help you plan your itinerary based on the age of your children.
• timing Take into consideration when you will be going. Regardless, there will be a ton of people when you go, but the beauty of Disney World at Thanksgiving or Christmas might not be worth dealing with the whole world being there as you tote your preschooler along. Besides, going during the off season [late Fall & late Spring] can save you some greenbacks!
• relax Make sure you actually enjoy your vacation. Sure you want to take in as much of the park as you can, but you don’t want to come home and need a vacation from your vacation. Consider a day at the hotel pool with no agenda.
• the scoop Take a look at The Ultimate Disney World Savings Guide [www.dw-secrets.com]. This e-book [$19.97] is written by a former Disney World employee and she gives you all the details on having an enjoyable and affordable vacation. What is neat about the e-book is you buy it once, download it to your computer and you have access to the updates she makes forever. Also check out www.mousesavers.com for package deals as well as rental car and airline deals.
• what you think Some of the best advice for just about anything under the sun, comes from the ones you trust that have been there before. So, ask your friends what they could have done without, what they would do again & what they wish they had done differently.
Like any trip, the best way to make sure you enjoy yourself is to not get so hung up on your itinerary and be flexible. Good to have a plan, but don’t get consumed in fulfilling the itinerary and forget about having fun.
Asyou venture down the road on your vacation you can expect the common request from the backseat for a bathroom, freedom from the car or the need for another snack. But pray you don’t hear, ‘Mom, I don’t feel good…my stomach hurts!”
Motion sickness occurs when the brain is getting conflicting messages from the body’s inner ears, eyes or nerves of the extremities [the motion sensing parts of the body]. For example, if your big kid is riding in the car reading a book, their body and inner ears are sensing the motion of the car, but their eyes are locked on the stationary book and aren’t seeing the motion. The brain is getting conflicting signals, so it sends out a response that can make your big kid feel sick. Obviously, no fun…I mean I’ll take a poopy whatever or snot filled container of anything before I have to clean up puke! Here are some ways to keep the yak monster at bay:
• stop When your big kid starts to complain or show signs of motion sickness [upset stomach (queasiness), cold sweat, restless, fatigued, pale, loss of appetite, vomiting], pullover for goodness sakes! Get out, walk around a bit and get some fresh air.
• watch what you eat Stay away from greasy meals before traveling and instead try a light snack. If motion sickness continues to be a problem, try not eating before other trips. A little experimenting may be needed to see what works for your big kid.
• crack the window A little fresh air can help whether it is August or January.
• eyes forward No reading or video games. Look out the front window a good distance ahead. Even consider placing your big kid in the center of the back seat so they can easily see out.
• accessorize Consider purchasing Seabands, which are elastic wristbands containing a plastic stud that applies pressure on the inside wrist at the Nei Kuan
acupressure point. Seebands can also provide nausea relief for those that are pregnant or having side effects due to anesthesia or chemotherapy.
• clean up Don’t be caught without water, wipes, Fabreeze and extra clothes just in case there is some yaking!
If your big kid shows signs of motion sickness when he is not involved in a motion activity, consider seeing your doctor.
kiddos ages 5-12, women, & the elderly seem to be more susceptible to motion sickness
This sounds like a broken record, but your tween is always looking for independence and wants to make deci-
sions and have his opinion heard. So, when it comes to your family vacation make sure he has some say and use the time to listen to your tween: the plan Get your tween involved in the planning stages of your vacation. Let him have some say in where you go and the activities you will do. This will help your tween take some ownership of the vacation.
• pack it Have them pack their own suitcase and the bag they will have with them at all times. Of course you need to do a review and make sure the essentials are there, but not everything in their bedroom.
• questions please You have your tween all to yourself in the car or airplane so, put away the iPod & DS and get talking. There are great books like KidChat that are filled with questions to inspire conversation and imagination.
• say cheese Hand over the camera and let your tween document the trip.
• vaca rules You’re tween’s social life is becoming more important and being away might put a crimp in keeping in touch. Make sure you go over the technology rules. Just because you’re not at home doesn’t mean the home rules fly out the window. Make it clear that vacation doesn’t mean they are allowed to make unlimited calls and text messages. Last thing you need is to return home to a cell bill that costs more than your entire vacation!
• tried & true Remember the old games your tween has always enjoyed on previous road trips. They are trying to grow up fast, but who can turn down a good old fashion game of car bingo?
• day off This could be a tip for any vacation regardless of the age, but take a day with no plans & sleep in.
53% of employed US adults say they come back feeling reconnected with family after vacation
years]
Your teen is spreading his wings and venturing a little further from the nest each year. Soon the school or church or other group associated with your teen will be knocking with a tempting trip that doesn’t include you. in the know
Each new example of your teen’s growing independence can be met with a sense of anxiety, relief and pride or a combination of all three! Before you OK a trip, do your research...
• where you at Know exactly where your teen will be staying and discuss any concerns you might have. Get contact numbers for hotels and chaperones.
• who dat Knowing who is chaperoning the trip can put your mind at ease. Again, make sure you have their contact information.
• how much Find out exactly what is included in the price of the trip and what extras aren’t included so you know how much money to send with your teen.
So you’ve given the OK. As your teen embarks on their first trip without you, make sure you talk about…
• health history Make sure your teen knows their basic health history such as any allergies, past surgeries, illnesses and make sure they have a copy of their health insurance card.
• staying in touch In today’s age of cell phones, make sure your teen knows your phone numbers. Then discuss how often you will talk while he is away. Make it clear you don’t need to talk about every detail of their trip [that can wait until they get home], but it is completely reasonable for your teen to touch base on a regular basis to ease your mind.
• be safe Discuss with your teen how to handle normal travel issues such as flight delays or lost luggage. In his cell phone, program an ICE [In Case of Emergency] number. Emergency personal are trained to look for such an entry. Talk about the importance of being aware of their surrounds. Be cautious of strangers, don’t give out personal information and lock the hotel door. Whether you are in Paris or downtown Fargo
running alone, walking while talking on your cell or wearing ear phones is not safe and should be avoided.
• public dos & don’ts Make it clear that even without you, there are still common sense rules to follow. Remind him that regardless of where he is, he needs to be polite and responsible. Sure kids will be kids, but they are still representing themselves, your family and the group they are traveling with.
sources: www tsa gov | www healthychildren org | www momsminivan com
www parenting com | www safekids org | www mamanista com
www travelingwithkids com | www drgreene com | www faa gov | www expidia com
She is our quintessential, “do-it-all” mom and friend who reminds us to remember the woman behind the mom.
It’s tough to admit that the thought of having to play Barbie Shoe Store with her 5-year-old at the end of a busy day can be compared to a two hour company staff meeting. You know you should be engaged, but all you can think about is how much you have to do. Let’s be honest, no matter how much you like shoes you still find a way to put your daughter off. And then you feel like crap for putting her off and any hope of winning that mom of the year award just went out the window. Guilt. It’s the one accessory we moms wear all too often. We are so accustomed to thinking we should be able to do everything because we're MOM and when we can't do it all, we wonder what the heck is wrong with us. When guilt starts to take the joy out of our day-to-day life with our kids, that's when the light bulb should go on and some changes need to be made. But how? Here are a few common guilt trips and ways to cut yourself some slack.
Somewhere along the line, "playmate" became another facet of the mom job description. But in today's crazy-busy life, slowing down is hard enough, and slowing down to play yet another Dora game or gallop around the My Little Pony castle takes a saint some days.
give yourself a break & play already
Be happy with the fact that kids don't need to be entertained every waking moment, but when you “take time” to spend with them, make it count, even if it's only for fifteen minutes. Focus on what you're doing, whether that’s a bedtime story with your little one or sitting at the end of your teenager’s bed asking about their day. Be in the moment and enjoy it. If you don’t take the time today, tomorrow the Barbies will be “so not cool anymore” and she will be running out the door to meet up with her friends rather than asking for your attention.
guilt trip #2: me time
Who hasn't wanted to simply walk away from the sleep deprivation or the attitude of a back talking teen at least one time or another and then felt guilty about feeling that way? I know I have, but maybe those guilty thoughts are trying to tell us something: It's important to take some time for ourselves and recharge.
give yourself a break & take some time
Schedule regular "me" time, and keep it sacred. If that means coffee or happy hour with your bestie or a few evenings a week at the gym then that's what you do! Let your family know this will make you a better mommy and wifer and that should be enough…no questions asked. And to make it easier on yourself, remind yourself
of the many selfless things you do for your kids every single day. When the kids have crashed for the night and BEFORE you rush into clean-up mode, tell yourself five things you did that day that you know your kids loved you for and try to ignore the rest. Easier said than done, this I know, but remembering the time and effort you focus on your kids makes getting away for yourself a lot easier.
I’d be willing to bet every working mom feels guilty at one time or another for not being a stay-at-home mom. Maybe it was when you had to pass up yet another school volunteering request or perhaps the guilt came after a comment from your child, “But Mom, all the other moms bake cupcakes, why do we need to buy cookies from the store?” As working moms, we need to feel satisfied with our decision. Too many times, we feel the need to defend our choice to work. Although more women are in the work force than generations ago, there is still such an ongoing debate that working moms are taking something valuable away from their kids while others feel working mothers really give more to their children, a sense of pride and accomplishment, a role model and more financial freedom. Bottom line
each family situation is different, what may work for the family down the street, may not be best for yours. give yourself a break & get to work
We all work for different reasons. We love our jobs. We need the money. We realize we don’t have it in us to be stay-at-home moms and are better because we do work. But finding the right sounding board can be tricky. Finding that non-judgmental friend or even an online blog can be all you need to know that there are other women in the same boat, with the same struggles, and that can help put things in perspective. The next time you question your mom title write down your own needs or reasons for working and trust in yourself and the choices you've made for your family. But hang onto the list. When guilt arises again, and it will, pull it out to remind yourself you’re a great mama.
One last food for thought regarding all guilt trips, accept the dang feeling and move on. Don't let it bring you down. Take a deep breath and repeat after me:
"The most important things are my kids know how important they are to me, how much I love them and that I would run into a burning building for them if I needed to.” Now go hug your offspring, tell them you love them and tune out your guilt…at least for today.
—unknown author
a mom in a hug."
a box, but you can wrap
"You can't wrap love in
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