Phyllis Svenum isn’t one to complain. She’s been dealing with knee pain since the ‘80s. Eventually, she found herself icing her aching knees each night in hopes of falling asleep. That’s when she decided it was time to see an Orthopedic surgeon.
Phyllis had a partial and a full knee replacement at Essentia Health – and now feels like a kid again!
You deserve a life free of joint pain. Take the first step to feeling young again.
Let’s keep it moving people.
Yes,
They say good parents don’t compare their children with others, but it’s important to compare their progress with approved medical standards of healthy growth, both physically and mentally. Early screening can have a big impact on your child’s future.
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fargo | nd
A business performance coach and owner of Breakthrough Strategies, Carolyn applies her strengths as well as her education from the University of Texas - Dallas in Executive and Professional Coaching. A native of Minnesota and long–time Fargo resident, she enjoys creating memories to later savor with her family of dogs [three], kids [two], and husband [one]. This full life doesn't leave much time for physical exercise, meditation, or volunteering, yet she works to stay happy by easily forgiving, expressing her gratitude, and publicly journaling on her blog, www.carolynbaana.com.
monango | nd
Back in the day, Val swore to herself that she was getting as far away from North Dakota and was never stepping another foot on a farm...isn't life funny? Now living on a farm, raising four boys and living in as rural an area as one can find, she realizes how great farm life can be. Through the encouragement of her friends she started a little blog called Wag'n Tales, which chronicles the destruction and devastation that occur when you have boys...well, and a few lessons about farm life and where your food REALLY comes from. She's married to Mark, AKA Boss Man, and is passionate about agriculture, rural living and sharing her story.
west fargo | nd
A co-owner of West Fargo Animal Hospital since 2008, Dr. Amy Anderson provides veterinary medical and surgical care for dogs and cats. She received an undergraduate degree from Penn State University and her Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree from Iowa State University. She has a special interest in soft-tissue surgery, although building lasting relationships with pets and their owners is what she enjoys most. Amy resides in West Fargo with her husband Anthony and daughters, Piper(7) and Paisley(5). They enjoy the company of their French Bulldog Wally, cat Doozer, and horse Geoffrey.
dilworth | mn
What do you get when you mix a full-time freelance writer with a 1-year-old girl, two cats, a dog, a husband who works evenings, a house that needs picking up and nearly a dozen publications and clients who need their deadlines met? Welcome to Patricia Carlson’s life. She is an award-winning journalist whose work spans magazines, television, radio, newspapers and the internet. She has produced, written, edited and directed programs for ESPN Radio, History Channel and Hallmark Channel. And she hosts customized media training workshops for groups like the North Dakota National Guard. You can view her work at www.patriciacarlsonfreelance.com
fargo | nd
Originally from Bismarck, North Dakota, Cammie is a 2009 graduate from MSUM. She currently works as the production manager at In House Advertising and Consulting in West Fargo, ND. In her spare time, Cammie likes to write, travel and hopes to complete her first half marathon this May.
From a second-generation owned farm in Mooreton, ND, Tami grew up the only sister to Todd, Troy and Joe, watching her dad farm the land and her mom cook, clean and feed a ton of hired men along with four kids of her own Following graduation from Moorhead State University with a Bachelor of Science degree in Art Education, Tami taught high school art in West Fargo and Moorhead until settling in as a middle school art teacher in Wahpeton, ND After a few years the decision was made to leave her teaching job to stay home with her kids, Parker [18] and Brooklyn [15] Married to husband Joel for 22 "really cool years," Tami keeps her creative interest alive as a Sendoutcards Manager and Independent “Gallery On The Go” Guide, still making time to enjoy shopping, lake time, riding the road with Joel on his Harley Davidson motorcycle and, of course, art
the last time i laughed so hard i cried… was this past Christmas at our home, playing a dice game called “O” with my family of all ages—while wearing funny hats! Gotta make your own fun!!
if i could travel anywhere it would be to… Paris, France.
my mom was right about… not being friends with your kids until you parent them first. Now I understand. people might be surprised to know i… have a need for speed. my kids would say i… do a lot for them and their friends, but often embarrass them.
i wish i had more… energy and desire to be organized. something i admire but would never do… jumping out of an airplane. It is never going to happen, and I am OK with that!
if i could dine with any person, past/present it would be with...
HGTV Design Star David Bromstad on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. I love them both!! family time for us means… talking, laughing and including all the people we love spending time with.
i can cook a mean… honestly, cooking is not on my Top 10 list! our family motto…
”Go Bison!”
one thing i hate to run out of… chocolate and battery life on my cell phone.
the best compliment i have gotten… is that we should be proud of how we have raised our kids.
my husband and i tend to disagree on, but agree on… food and what station the radio should be on in the car are usually disagreements, but we always agree on how to spend our time together. outside my family i am passionate about… color, music and a great paintbrush. my food splurge of choice… a big old googley eyed crab.
something i miss from my childhood…
my dad’s mom, Grandma Irene— she was one person who molded me into who I am today.
i’m a big believer in… making people feel special. That will forever put a SMILE on my face. the ideal day for me would mean… sitting on a white, sandy beach, under a palm tree with all the women I love, and a cold Pina Colada in my hand.
jasiah
6 months old
mom and dad: brenna and timi
my favorite eats...is mommy’s milk
i heart…bubble baths
i am most like...my parents, relaxed and content with life
i'm not a fan of...dad's scruffy-beard kisses
i am happiest...in my jumperoo! I love to jump when I was born...I had as much curly hair as I do now best toy I have...my ball-palooza
18 months old
mom and dad: sarah and jeff siblings: easton and elisabeth
our favorite eats…blueberries, pancakes, noodles, and guacamole
we heart…elmo and dancing to pink songs when we were born…we both weighed 6 pounds 9 ounces and had thick black hair!
we are most different in the way…willa is outgoing and fearless and ryah is laid back and proceeds with caution
13 months old
mom and dad: chilly and brian sisiter: lilly
i heart…my big sister lilly and our kitty, princess buttercup my favorite eats…pancakes, grapes, chocolate, eggs, yogurt basically i like to eat everything
i am happiest… splashing around in the bathtub with lilly when i was born…my parents thought i was the sweetest valentine ever and my sister insisted that i be called bingo
Life has recently been spinning a tad out of control for our family. After realizing that I needed to take a few moments for myself, I sat down and did a little thinking. I guess some would call it reflecting, maybe others would call it meditating.
I’m reading a book called “99 Ways to Raise Spiritually Healthy Children,” by Kathleen Long Bostrom. It’s not my usual reading fare—but any time I see something that I think will help me be a better parent, I’m game to read it.
The first two pages went straight to my heart—and I know I’ll be hooked for the other 98 ways [but I’ll only read them one chapter per day, so I can soak in the information]. The first thing the book tells me is that you should forget about being a “perfect” parent. Instead, work on being “pretty good” or “good enough.” The term they use that spoke most to my heart? Be a perfect parent for your child.
Amen.
This chapter came with three things to always remember:
[1] Remind yourself that you’re only human. Let go of mistakes and missed opportunities. [2] Recognize things
that you can’t control. Go with the flow. [3] Remember the big picture. You’re not in this alone, and believe in grace.
You ARE a good parent; you just can’t base your judgment off what others think. You can’t use someone else’s ruler to measure your worth as a parent. So stop doing it.
Why does this speak to me so much? I don’t think these words would have stopped me so completely this morning, had it not been for our youngest son.
Before Eli was born we knew that he was tough. Although my pregnancy was not the textbook case I was hoping it would be, time and time again he showed us how tough he was—from a gallbladder removal surgery at 13 weeks pregnant, to problems with my right kidney throughout—he never gave us a blip of trouble. After a few days in the hospital following his birth, we left with a clean bill of health.
But that bubble didn’t last long.
Late-onset jaundice, trouble gaining weight, something that seemed like colic, but not—finally I gave in and took him to the doctor. The result was not what I had hoped for. We were admitted to the hospital.
What was wrong? It seemed like everything. Nothing made sense. Off-the-charts liver enzymes, critically low blood sugar, etc. There were more lab tests with flags than normal. And we didn’t have a clue what was going on. He was 3-months-old.
That began a whirlwind of appointments, specialists and 18 months of not knowing what was happening. I pushed and pushed—knowing somewhere there would be an answer. Failure-to-thrive is a symptom, not a diagnosis.
Finally, the fourth physician who was involved at Mayo [or maybe sixth? seventh? I lose track] came up with a long shot. Ornithine transcarbamylase deficiency.
Low-protein diet, tons of doctor visits, extreme caution with illnesses—it’s been a crazy ride. Imagine, a rancher’s son living the life of a vegan—yet stricter. But the payoff? Weight. Curiosity. Growth. Imagination. My son.
I have NOT been a perfect parent. But I have been the perfect parent for my son.
According to science, my son's odds of living past the age of five are not that great. He’ll be four in April. According to science, my son should have developmental disabilities. His MRI shows the gaps where his white matter should be. He’s an extremely intelligent little boy who knows all his letters, colors, numbers and shapes. According to science, he should be sickly and weak. He hasn’t been in the hospital since this time last year. According to science, he shouldn’t be growing. His blood work shows that he produces no measurable amount of growth hormone. His pituitary gland is small and malformed. Yet he weighs 42 pounds and has grown three inches this year.
We are beating odds and blowing away science. And we won’t quit pushing.
No, I am not a perfect parent. But I am perfect for my son. And he is perfect for me.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths." [Proverbs 3:5-6]
This section is dedicated to capturing your parent thoughts. Want to share what’s on your mind? Submit your article idea to info@onthemindsofmoms.com along with a short bio for consideration in an upcoming issue.
Cooperstown Bible Camp We offer a great place for children to learn about Jesus Christ, build new friendships & have a ton of fun! Camps run during June & July in Cooperstown, ND. For more info on camp dates and registration details contact us at 701.797.2174, mail@cooperstownbiblecamp.com, or visit www.cooperstownbiblecamp.com.
Inspiration Point Nestled on Spitzer Lake, 30 miles SE of Fergus Falls, lies Inspiration Point Christian Camp and Retreat Center. With its comfortable lodging, excellent food service, hospitable staff, wide variety of activities, clean accommodations and reasonable pricing, Inspiration Point offers an incredible Christian summer camp experience for students in 1st – 12th grade. Register and pay in full by May 1 and receive a $20 early registration discount. For more information or to register online, please visit www.ipoint.org or call 218.998.4572.
FaHoCha Bible Camp An interdenominational camp nestled beside South Lake Washington, 25 miles East of New Rockford, ND, we are known for our great food, fun, family like atmosphere, focus on faith, and affordability. We offer a great life-changing adventure that will create many wonderful memories. Multiple sessions offer an opportunity for everyone to attend: Varsity Camp [ages 16-18, June 9-14, $129], Middler Camp 1 [ages 10-11, June 16-21, $129], Jr. Varsity Camp [ages 14-15, June 23-28, $129], Beginner Camp 1 [ages 8-9, June 30-July 2, $54], Middler Camp 2 [ages 10-11, July 7-12, $129], Jr. High Camp [ages 12-13, July 14-19, $129], Beginner Camp 2 [ages 8-9, July 21-24, $79]. Please contact 701.674.3211, Jay@fahocha.org or go to www.fahocha.org for more info.
Red Willow Bible Camp Located on beautiful Red Willow Lake [1651 Jacob Drive, Binford], 65 miles north of Valley City, Red Willow Bible Camp provides a unique faith community where children of all ages can experience God’s love for them in an outdoor ministry setting. We are affiliated with the ELCA. Camps run from June 2nd to August 9th and offer something for everyone. Early bird deadline is May 1st. For more information contact 701.676.2681, rwbc.officemgr@gmail.com or view the summer camp schedule and all listings at www. redwillowbiblecamp.org .
North Central Camp Cherith This Interdenominational Christian camp near Detroit Lakes, MN has separate weeks for boys & girls ages 7-17, June 16th - August 2nd. Campers are taught how to make Christ real in every phase of their lives while participating in traditional camp activities, focusing on fun, learning new skills, building friendships & enjoying nature. For more info 612.991.3124, info@camp-cherith.com or visit www.camp-cherith.com.
University of North Dakota Men’s Basketball Camps Looking for hands-on and personal basketball instruction from the finest coaches and student-athletes in collegiate athletics? UND’s got you covered! Sessions include Spring Little Hoopers [grades 1-6] April 28th [$40, 12-2:30pm] & May 5th [$40, 3-5:30pm]; Summer Little Hoopers Camp [grades 1-6] May 28-30 [$65, 1-4pm] & July 29-Aug 1 [$80, 9am-12pm]; Elite Development Camp [grades 8-12] June 14-16 [$175 – Commuter, $195 – Commuter + lunch & dinner, $215 – Resident]; Middle School Skills Camp [grades 5-8] June 19th [$50]; Team Camp [grades 9-12] June 22-23 [$50 per player]. For more info contact Thelma Abbott at 701.777.3478, thelma.abbott@athletics.und.edu or visit www.undsports.com.
Dragon Swim Camp Improve your swimming skills June 9–14 or June 16–21 on the MSUM campus in Moorhead, MN. Each Camp is broken into two groups: Stroke Technique Group [Younger and less experienced swimmers in this group will focus on drills and skills to improve all four competitive strokes plus starts and turns during two pool sessions each day. Campers in this group may be resident or commuters] or Advanced Technique & Conditioning Group [Older and more experienced swimmers in this group will work on the same skills as the Stroke Technique Group, and will have four additional individualized swim training sessions throughout the week]. Camp Fee: Commuter [All Meals] $325, Resident [Stroke Technique - Overnight, All Meals] $425, Resident [Advanced Technique and Conditioning - Overnight, All Meals] $450. Register by April 1st and take $50 off the camp registration fee! Registration open until camp is full. For more information, contact Katie Diiro at katie.diiro@mnstate.edu, 218-477-2313 or visit www.mnstate.edu/swim.
Dragon Diving Camp Located on the MSUM campus in Moorhead, MN, divers will work on all five categories and will improve their 1-meter skills, experience 3-meter diving and participate in extensive trampoline and dryland training. Two sessions to choose from [July 28–August 2 or August 4–9], Commuter [All Meals] $350 or Resident [Overnight, All Meals] $450. Register by April 1st and take $50 off the camp registration fee! Registration open until camp is full. For more information, contact Nate Brisley at nathan.brisley@mnstate.edu, 218.477.2313 or visit www.mnstate.edu/swim.
IAM ICAN The Academie Agencie hosts this girls-only camp held June 24-28, Monday through Friday from 10am-5pm each day at our office in Downtown Fargo for girls ages 9-14. Campers will fine tune essential life skills including social graces, table etiquette, presentation and visual poise and build confidence in modeling and acting through tasks in runway, mannequin, and
photographic modeling and TV commercial. Cost $250. For more info contact 701.235.8132 or visit www.academieagencie.com.
Driver's Education Learn the rules of the road at the Oak Grove North Campus [124 N Terrace, Fargo] May 28-31. $125 fee for classroom instruction. Behind-the-wheel instruction can be individually arranged for an additional $25 fee. For more info visit www.oakgrovelutheran.com/students.
Kid Camps by Dakota Carriage Company Kids enjoy fun on the Farm with Dakota Carriage Company in Davenport, ND, with Pony Camps, Farm Camps and Horse Camps. Offering ½-day, 1-day and 4-day camps during May-August. Designed for kids ages 2-12. Camps cost $40-$275. Early registration discounts if registered before May 1st. Junior camp counselors wanted for kids ages 12–16. For more information, visit www. dakotacarriagecompany.com.
Red River Zoo Do your children LOVE learning about animals? Would they like the opportunity to be hands-on with them? Then our summer camps are for them! Running from June to August, the Zoo offers 7 different camps for ages 4 to 11, as well as a Junior Zookeeping Program for 11 to 17-year-olds! For more information and to register visit www.redriverzoo.org or call 701.277.9240 ext. 309.
The Missoula Children's Theatre presents THE PRINCESS AND THE PEA. June 24-28 at Oak Grove Lutheran School's Scheels Center [124 N Terrace, Fargo], for students in grades 1-12. Cost: $125.00. Registration deadline is June 1st. 50-60 Young people needed. For more info visit www.oakgrovelutheran.com.
Shine Music Make music a destination this summer! Join us at Shine Music on the Oak Grove Lutheran School Campus [124 N Terrace, Fargo] for a wide selection of summer music camps, workshops and classes for ages 5 - 16. Jungle Drums, Song Writing Boot Camp!, Earthquake Symphonies, and more! No music experience is necessary. Expand your summer fun [and your mind!] by joining us for a whole lot of music fun! Call 701.566.3312 for a list of classes by age group, or for more information.
Camp Invention A summer enrichment program that ignites the imagination. Camp Invention runs from June 10-14 at Oak Grove Lutheran School's south campus [2720 32nd Ave S, Fargo]. The camp is for students in grades 1-6, cost is $230, families that register 3 or more siblings will receive $50 off per child. Visit www.campinvention.org for more info.
Leia Bohl and Jamie Traynor have an agreement. The more miles they run together, the more they can indulge in cheesecake and Tutti Frutti.
It’s a win-win for the friends and running partners.
“It’s nice to have someone holding you accountable and waiting for you to meet them and go running, otherwise, it is too easy to say, ‘I will go tomorrow,’” Jamie explains.
The two get together a couple of times a week [weather permitting] for runs, and what started out as short treks has turned into considerable distances.
friends who run together… have fun together…finish together.
“We started out running short distances,” Jamie recalls. “And the better friends we became, the more stories we had to share, and the longer our runs became.”
“Our friendship didn't start out as running partners, but we enjoy running and we enjoy each other! So we just kind of got into a routine, at least when the weather cooperates,” Leia explains.
And as the weather starts to cooperate more and more, the duo has turned up their training as they prepare to run the Fargo Marathon’s half marathon race May 18th. They will, of course, be running it together.
“I am really hoping and praying for 50-degree weather and no wind for this year’s marathon, so that my running partner is happy and fun to run with for 13.1 miles,” Jamie says with a smile.
“I am a fair-weather runner,” Leia confesses. “On 20-degree days with lots of snow, I opt for treadmill time at Courts Plus. But that’s not nearly as much fun as with Jamie!”
This year’s Fargo Marathon half marathon race won’t be the first time Leia and Jamie cross the finish line together.
“The last half marathon, we were coming up on the last three blocks or so, and my calf cramped up. I stopped and stretched it against a curb and told her to keep going,” Leia remembers. “You won’t believe what she did—she waited for me at the end so we could cross the finish line together.”
Because sometimes the best part about finishing a race has nothing to do with your time, and everything to do with your company.
To learn more about the 2013 Fargo Marathon events, and to register, please go online to www.fargomarathon.com.
Loving a pet is easy. Making the decision to let a pet die peacefully is not. Whether it is a beloved pet of 15 years, or a young puppy or kitten with a tragic medical problem, you may find yourself second guessing what the right thing is to do. Euthanasia [which literally means “good death”] is a very controversial term in the human medical field, but it is common practice and often perceived as a “gift” in the veterinary field. It puts a limit on pain and suffering, allows families to grieve in a controlled manner, and permits a beloved pet to die with dignity. Euthanasia
Featuring noted author, educator and grief counselor Dr. Alan Wolfelt
Understanding Your Grief: Touchstones for Hope and Healing
Tuesday, June 11, 7-9 p.m. Ramada Plaza & Suites, Fargo
Free and open to the public. No registration required.
Daytime conference for health care professionals will be held
Wednesday, June 12. Visit our website www.hrrv.org/ journeyinghome for more information and to register.
Sponsoredinpartby: The Forum
is a decision that must be made in conjunction with your veterinarian and family members. Choosing if or when to end a beloved animal’s life can be heart wrenching, but it may also be the most responsible and compassionate thing you can do.
When a pet loses interest in normal daily activities, like greeting you at the door after a long day at work, running to the food bowl at dinnertime, or grabbing the leash to go for a walk, a visit to your veterinarian is recommended. These can be early warning signs of illness and deteriorating health. Chronic or acute pain almost always affects an animal’s behavior. When your dog no longer has a desire to eat his usual amount of food or your constant lap companion is uninterested in keeping you warm while you read the newspaper but prefers to hide under a bed or behind the couch instead, it might mean he is losing the battle.
With a chronically ill pet, death typically occurs over a several-month period. During the initial stages [one to three months out] you will start to notice significant weight loss, dull eyes, poorly groomed fur, dehydration, and gastrointestinal changes such as constipation or diarrhea. As the time nears, approximately one month out, you will notice more extreme weight loss, a declining appetite, irregular breathing patterns, increasing solitude and decreased interest in playing. Oftentimes the eyes will start to develop a thick mucusy discharge. In the final few days pets will become extremely emaciated, barely responsive, have dull and sunken eyes, and very foul breath. Euthanasia is acceptable at any of these stages. We often say, “When the bad days outnumber the good days, it is probably ‘time.’”
If you know that your pet is suffering from a chronic and/or terminal disease, it is best to think about your plan if the time comes that euthanasia must be considered. You may decide that “time” will be when he stops eating, when he can no longer go outside to relieve himself under his own power, or when he can’t get comfortable at night, to name a few. If you have already discussed the procedure with your veterinarian, and considered your options, then making the final decision at this time will be a little bit easier. It is most important to remember that, in the case of a severely ill pet, the PET’S quality of life must be the main factor in deciding to euthanize. It can be hard to let go of a
beloved friend, but we must not be selfish and allow him to suffer unnecessarily for our own emotional needs. By defining the point at which you will make “the decision,” you have thereby placed boundaries on the suffering you will allow your pet to endure.
will my vet tell me when it is time?
When your veterinarian brings up euthanasia, it is often because he or she feels your pet is suffering. Most veterinarians believe it is a decision that must be made among family members with the medical information provided by the doctor. If a veterinarian RECOMMENDS euthanasia, then it probably means that she is 100% certain your pet will not survive his current condition, the animal is suffering and there is no longer anything that can be done to ease the pain and discomfort, or you have waited too long.
where does the procedure take place?
In most cases, euthanasia is performed in the veterinary hospital. This is typically the best place for such a procedure because the equipment and assistance
needed is close at hand. You may choose to be present throughout the entire procedure, stay only through sedation [ which is often done to relax an animal before the procedure], or simply leave your pet with the caring doctors and staff, knowing that they will give him the level of respect and care every pet deserves at this time.
At West Fargo Animal Hospital, we are currently in the process of developing a home euthanasia and hospice-care portion to our practice. We feel strongly that pets need the best and most advanced medical care throughout their lives. However, when that time comes to an end, they also deserve to die with dignity and respect in the most comforting and caring way possible. We are staffed and equipped to perform euthanasia in your home if requested. An at-home procedure must be planned in advance, and discussed with our doctors prior to the time, in order to be sure this is in your pet’s best interest. Home euthanasia can be a good option for very large pets who have become immobile and also for pets who experience extreme anxiety when visiting the veterinarian.
& it’s free whatsmyhomevalueinfargomoorhead.com search all homes listed at www.forsaleinfargo.com questions? call 701.261-0279 The moms (and dad) who understand family and real estate keller williams roers realty 200 45th street south fargo, north dakota 58103
gettin’
do i get to say goodbye?
Saying goodbye and preparing for euthanasia by gathering some comfort items for your pet can be comforting for you as well. Humans grieve in many different ways. As a veterinarian, I have seen many heartfelt letters, drawings from children, and special mementos to be included
with a pet for burial or cremation. Some individuals like to tell stories about their pets or simply hold them tight. For some owners, spending time with a pet after euthanasia is helpful as well. Most veterinarians will accommodate these needs as best they can.
find children younger than about 8-years-old should not witness the procedure.
The grieving process is a very personal experience, encompassing many stages or cycles. Healing cannot be forced nor hurried and certainly there is no “normal” timeline. Encourage family members, especially children, to express their thoughts and feelings. Excluding or protecting children from this process may only complicate or prolong their grief. And although ignoring pain or keeping it from showing may only prolong your pain, it can be difficult for children to see their parents grieving deeply. If you experience extreme grief after the loss of your pet or even at the thought of it, there are counselors who can help you through this difficult time. Discuss it with your veterinarian and she can put you in touch with both local and national grief resources for pet loss.
The other pets in the household may also notice the sudden absence of their good friend. When an animal
passes we recommend leaving blankets, bowls, pet beds, and even a kennel out for a couple weeks after the loss. This allows the remaining pets to get used to the idea that their friend is no longer around. They may wander around the house looking for their companion, sniff the bowls or kennel, and even sometimes curl up in the deceased pet’s blanket. Allowing them to do this is an important step for living pets to process the loss of a friend. Pets can exhibit different signs of grief, ranging from restlessness to loss of appetite. Our pets thrive on normalcy, so try to stick as close to your normal routine as you can in the weeks following the loss of a pet.
Our pets play a valuable role in our lives. The love and devotion they give us is unmatched. As you deal with your pet’s chronic illness and possible euthanasia, lean on your trusted veterinarian, family and friends. Making a decision in the best interest of your pet’s welfare can be a difficult life experience, but it is also a sign of the love and respect you have for your beloved companion.
Driver’s Education Classes: May 28-31 / 8:00a-4:30p
Camp Invention: June 10-14
Volleyball Camp: June 10-13
Boys Basketball Camp: June 17-21 / 9:00a-12:00p
Elementary Basketball Camp from June 18-20 - Grades K-2 on T/W/Th at 2:00-4:00p
June 17-20 - Grades 3-5 on M-Th at 6:00-8:00p
Girls Basketball Camp: June 24-27 / 1:00-4:00p
Missoula Children’s Theatre: June 24-29
Football Camp: July 22-25
Child Abuse Prevention Month
www.stopchildabusend.com
www.pcamn.org
Help strengthen families and prevent child abuse and neglect.
11
Safe Kids
701.780.1856
www.safekidsgf.com
Did you know that 4 out 5 car seats are used incorrectly? Could your child's be one of them? Safe Kids Grand Forks, in partnership with Altru Health System and Rydell GM Auto Center, offers a monthly car seat check-up event on the second Thursday of each month. This event is from 4:00pm-7:00pm, its free and no appointments are necessary. Come to Rydell's and certified car seat technicians will check on your seat and ensure your children are riding safely.
13
Spencers Theatre of Illusion
701.777.3076
www.cfa.und.edu
Magic is no longer merely about baffling the audience by doing something seemingly impossible. We've seen it all before. Magic these days is about spectacle, drama, danger, and personality. Kevin and Cindy Spencer are the masters of this new magic
theatre. They have redefined the art of illusion by combining original theatrical elements with cutting edge illusions and are one of the most sought-after illusion teams in the business. Don't miss this spectacular performance! 7:30pm start at the Chester Fritz Auditorium [3475 University Avenue, Grand Forks]. Tickets: Adults: $25, Students: $15, Child: $10
13 &20
March for Babies
701.235.5530
www.marchofdimes.com/northdakota
Join the March of Dimes at the Scheels Sports Arena in Fargo on April 13th or at the Grand Cities Mall in Grand Forks on April 20th for the March for Babies. The money raised will support lifesaving research, community services, education and advocacy that help babies get a healthy start.
13
Heart and Sole Time Capsules
www.plainsart.org
Andy Warhol loved to collect EVERYTHING and seal his treasures in boxes he called “time capsules.” You can take a walk in Andy’s shoes by grabbing a shoe box and worn out pair of footwear to create a sculptural “time capsule” that will have you stepping back in time offered by the Plains Art Museum from
1:00pm-3:00pm. Low-temperature glue guns will be used, and parent assistance will be required for younger kids. Both parent and child can make a “time capsule” of their own or you can partner up! You decide! For ages K+. Fee: $11 museum members, $14 non-members.
17
Hurray for Hoovestock
701.277.9240
www.redriverzoo.org
Visit the Red River Valley Zoo [4255 23rd Ave S, Fargo] from 3:15pm-4:45pm to find out why camels are called "ships of the desert." Discover more about the endangered Takin. Explore the differences between the types of hoovestock at the zoo, from the llamas to the horse, and discuss which ones don't mind the cold weather.
18
Storybook Science
218.284.3400
www.moorhead.k12.mn.us/Schools/ECFE/ We will connect a familiar story with a science activity. The class is based on the book “Story Time Slime” by Julie Gintzler. Parent discussion will center on math, science and more. For ages birth to kindergarten at Probstfield Center of Education [2410 14th St S, Moorhead],
listen to “A Rainbow of My Own” by Don Freeman 5:45pm-7:15pm. Register online.
18
Our Family is Having a Baby!
701.234.5570
www.sanfordhealth.org
Designed for "brothers and sisters to be," of the age 3 to 7 years to aid in adjusting to the addition of a new baby in the family. The class includes: characteristics and actions of a newborn, feeding the new baby, care of a newborn using demonstrations, doll play and a tour of the Family Birth Center. One or both parents should accompany kids to class at Sanford Auditorium [801 Broadway North] from 6:30pm-8:00pm. Preregistration is required.
20
Gigantic Rummage Sale
701.433.5360
www.wfparks.org
Over 175 vendors will be selling antiques, crafts, collectibles, closeout items and garage sale items at the Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo], 7am-2pm. Free parking. To register for a booth please contact the park office. Concessions will be available. $1.00 admission [17 & under free]
Job Seekers Lab
701.476.5977
www.fargolibrary.org
Job seekers are invited to work on resumes, search online for jobs and complete online job applications at this 3-hour session from 5:00pm-8:00pm at the downtown Fargo Public Library [102 3rd St N, Fargo].
For more information contact Lori West at lwest@cityoffargolcom. Registration is no required and event is FREE!
Safe & Sound: Preparing Your Home for Baby
701.234.5570
www.sanfordhealth.org
You have the car seat, crib, diapers, and dozens of new outfits for baby. So are you ready to bring your newest family member home? This class at Sanford Clinic Auditorium [801 Broadway, Fargo], 6:30pm-8pm, will inform participants about the best practices in safe sleep and nursery safety, as well as provide general baby-proofing tips. You won't want to miss out on this valuable information. Free and open to anyone who will be caring for a little one. Call to register.
Baby Connection
218.284.3400
www.moorhead.k12.mn.us/Schools/ECFE/ Gather with your baby [birth to 12 months] and other parents for relaxing playtime and conversation. Spend time exploring large and small muscle development and simple activities that are sensory in nature. Learn and share parenting tips. Classes held at Probstfield Center of Education [2410 14th St S, Moorhead], Tuesdays [4/23-5/21] 10:15am-11:15am. Register online.
23
Wonderful, Wobbly Ones
218.284.3400
www.moorhead.k12.mn.us/Schools/ECFE/ From sleeping and creeping to walking and talking, this is a most amazing year. Join other wobbly ones [12 to 24 months] and their parents to play in the classroom and gym and talk about what is happening to your growing child. Classes held at Probstfield Center of Education [2410 14th St S, Moorhead], Tuesdays [4/23-5/21] 9:00am-10:00am. Register online.
24 & 25
Family Fun With Little Ones
218.284.3400
www.moorhead.k12. mn.us/Schools/ECFE/
This fun-filled family class is just for the wee ones [birth to 3-years-old] in your lives!
We’ll play, paint, sing and probably laugh out loud, all in a child-friendly environment where we can connect with others in similar stages. Classes held at Probstfield Center of Education [2410 14th St S, Moorhead], Wednesdays [4/24-5/22] 6:00pm-7:30pm, or Thursdays [4/25-5/23] 8:45am-10:15am. Register online.
26, 27 & 28
KEM Shrine Circus
701.772.7125
www.theralph.com
The KEM Shrine Circus returns to Ralph Engelstad Arena for three days of fun for all ages. Friday 3:00pm & 7:00pm; Saturday at 10:00am, 2:00pm & 7:00pm; Sunday at 2:00pm & 6:00pm. Tickets are FREE for all children through 8th grade [with accompanying adult] and $14 for adults at the door [$12 pre-sale].
27
Garden Party
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Kids and parents, get in the gardening mood at this pre-summer event, 1:30pm-4:30pm
at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo]. Kids and parents will enjoy creating take home insect arts and crafts. There will also be a bug hunt, face painting, plant walk & more! Red River Zoo animals and Don Carey the Bug Man provide entertainment! Free Admission.
27
Running for the Ribbons
kolling0129@yahoo.com
www.prayforgray.com
This 5k run/walk was organized in memory of a very special little girl names Morgan Kolling. With ALL PROCEEDS going to Morgan’s Wish through the Pray for Gray foundation, Morgan’s Wish helps local families affected by brain cancer. For upcoming information on race details keep checking the website.
30
Kids Are Our Business Breakfast
701.293.7273
www.raccfm.com
Join the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center for breakfast at the Holiday Inn at 7:30am & help out a great cause. Seating is limited so call today! Call for ticket information. Table & Event Sponsorships available. Pre-registration encouraged.
Parade of Homes
www.hbafm.com
Checkout some of the beautiful homes available to tour in the FM area noon5:00pm weekends and 6:30pm-8:30pm weekdays.
4
Anything Goes!
www.aleruscenter.com
The Region´s largest indoor Garage SaleSwap Meet-Flea Market with over 300 booths to browse at the Alerus Center [1200 42nd St S, Grand Forks] 8am-3pm. $1 admission, kiddos 12 and under free.
4
Kite Day
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Come show off your kite flying skills at Ed Klapp Park [2801 32nd Ave S, Fargo], 12:30pm-3pm. Prizes will be given to winners in youth and adult categories.
4 & 13
CPR/AED – Heartsaver
701.364.1704
www.fmambulance.com
This course covers basic adult, child and infant CPR plus how to use an AED [Automated External Defibrillator]. Class starts at 7pm and is held at F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo]. $50 fee.
Camp
701.364.1704
www.fmambulance.com
The initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. They will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper changing techniques, also learn about when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11 – 15. Limited space. Register online.
7
218.284.3400
www.moorhead.k12. mn.us/Schools/ECFE/ Bring your kiddo [birth to kindergarten entry] to Probstfield Center of Education [2410 14th St S, Moorhead], 5:45pm-7:15pm for this creative classes where you can make your project and take them home to extend the learning and fun. Register online.
701.234.5570
www.sanfordhealth.org
Soyfoods are the only complete plant-based protein. Your family can follow the Dietary Guidelines with easy to prepare meals. Soyfoods are simple to add to favorite dishes and a healthy choice for any busy schedule.
April is Soyfoods Month! No matter your taste, there’s a soyfood option fit for you.
Contact us!
swolf@ndsoybean.org
1-888-469-6409
www.ndsoybean.org
www.KidSwapSales.com
14,
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Meet your neighbors at this fun family event 5:30-8:00pm. Sing your favorite karaoke song, play on inflatable games, take home a craft project and get your face painted. Enjoy free food while supplies last. May 7th Courts Plus Community Fitness [3491 South University Drive], May 14th @ Madison Park [3010 11th Ave N], May 21st Centennial Park [4101 25th St. S], May 28th Jefferson School Park [315 16th St. S].
This "Baby's First Ride" class focuses on infant car seats for newborns. Parents, grandparents, and other caregivers are encouraged to attend. We recommend attending this class during the 6-7 months of pregnancy, but welcome during any month of pregnancy. Participants are encouraged to bring their car seat if they have already bought one, however it is not necessary. Make an appointment to be at the Sanford Auditorium [801 Broadway North, Fargo] between 6:30pm-8pm. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary. 11
FM Redhawks Home Opener
701.235.6161
www.fmredhawks.com
Get to Newman Field and catch the home opener for the FM Redhawks as they take on the Winnipeg Goldeyes.
12
Happy Mom’s Day!
Enjoy your day…all day!
15
Hershey Track Meet
701.241.8160
It’s the District State Qualifying Track and Field Meet for boys and girls ages 9-14 as of December 31, 2013. Events include: 50, 100, 200, and 400 meter dash, 4 x 100 meter relay, 800 and 1600 meter run, standing long jump and softball throw. Head out to Fargo South High Track [2001 17th Ave S] for a 5pm check-in and 6pm start time. Pre-registration deadline is May 10th. The first two places in each event will advance to the Hershey State Track Meet.
16
Nature Adventure
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Bring the family out for a fun evening outdoors at the Lindenwood Rotary Shelter [1701 5th St S, Fargo], 6pm-8:30pm. This is a FREE event with hands-on cooking, crafts, games & nature activities.
16–18
Fargo Marathon
www.fargomarathon.com
This year you can Run Fargo & Rock Fargo at the 2013 Fargo Marathon! Known by thousands for being one of the Fastest & Friendliest races on the calendar, it also rocks like none other. It’s a race for everyone... kids, adults, walkers and runners. Come out and experience it firsthand.
19
Summer Grind
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
The Summer Grind Exhibition at Dike West [310 4th St S, Fargo] provides divisions for 13 & under and 14 & up participants. Participants are required to wear a helmet and should bring their own skateboard. Prizes will be given to participants in each
division. Registration begins at 4:30pm and start time 5:00pm.
20
Swing into Summer Safety & Fun
www.scheelsarena.com
Head to Scheels Arena [5225 31st Ave S, Fargo] from 5:00pm-8:00pm for this free community event that includes multiple interactive stations for kids to learn about safety, health and staying active before heading into summer. Door prizes will be drawn for kids who visit each station. Stations include free bike tunes up, obstacle courses and much more.
20
K9 Carnival
www.fargoparks.com
Head out to Yunker Farm [1201 28th Ave N., Fargo] for a fun and recreational
event designed for dog enthusiasts. Pets participate in various categories with chances to win fun prizes. Categories include, but are not limited to: best costume, best trick, dog/owner look alike. Dog owners will be served hot dogs and Pepsi Product. The public is welcome to attend. Register by 5:30pm.
27
Memorial Day
Remember those we’ve lost and those who gave their lives for us and our country.
parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant who sucks at math
1 Outdoor Pools Open
www.fargoparks.com
All Fargo public pools open for the season at 1:00pm.
1 Eco Chic Spring Junk Market
701. 356.6600
www.beingecochic.com
Head to the Eco Chic parking lot [4955 17th Ave S, Fargo], 10am-4pm, and look for treasure to take home as you browse repurposed furniture, vintage décor & handmade crafts.
3 Lil’ Fisherman Derby
701.499.6060
www.fargoparks.com
Bring your rod to Dike East [100 2nd St S, Fargo] and have fun trying to land a big one! The day will start with a fishing clinic, 5pm-6pm. Then, put your skills to the test in the fishing derby, 6pm-7:30pm, with an awards presentation to follow. This is a FREE event for kiddos 15 and younger, adult supervision is recommended for the derby.
4,11,18
Community Block Party
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Meet your neighbors at this fun family event 5:30pm-8:00pm. Sing your favorite karaoke song, play on inflatable games, take home a craft project and get your face painted. Enjoy free food while supplies last. June 4th Osgood School Park [5400 44th Ave S], June 11th Trollwood Park [3664 Elm Street N], June 18th Village West Park with Dog Park [4415 9th Ave Circle S]
5-8
RibFest 2013
www.fargoribfest.com
Great food, live entertainment & fun for the whole family.
8
The Jack Attck on SMA
www.fsma.org/jackattack
Head to Lindenwood Park for Round 9 of The Jack Attack & help us develop a treatment & cure for Spinal Muscular Atrophy! Registration begins at 9:15am with the walk starting at 10am. $15 for adults, kids 13 & younger FREE. Remember, we walk RAIN or SHINE! 100% of proceeds raised go directly to help find a treat-
ment or cure for SMA. Together we will "KNOCKOUT SMA!"
8&9
Grand Cities Art Fest
701.772.3710
www.novac.org
The Annual Grand Cities Art Fest is once again being held in the downtown areas of Grand Forks & East Grand Forks. Over 150 local, regional and national artists will be displaying their works on Saturday 10am-6pm & Sunday 10am-5pm. Food vendors will also be selling mouthwatering items such as hot fresh-cut fries, pulled pork sandwiches, corn dogs, kettle corn, Italian Ice & cold lemonade. Each day there will be shows on the performance stage in East Grand Forks and Town Square in Grand Forks.
10
Trout Fest
www.fargoparks.com
Explore Woodhaven Pond [4406 44th Ave S, Fargo] and learn about trout and fly fishing! Trout Fest is for anyone who enjoys fishing. Youth, 15 and under will learn about fly fishing, casting, entomology, conservation, equipment demos and much more. An awards presentation will follow
the derby. Registration: 5:30pm. Derby: 6:15pm-7:45pm. FREE.
10
Fargo Rock Concert
www.fargoparks.com
Punk, Rock, Metal! Two bands! Three different nights! All ages welcome at Dike West [310 4th St S, Fargo] from 7-9pm. Get your friends and come out to see the areas up and coming musicians. These shows are free and all ages are welcome to attend.
11&25
RiverArts
218.299.5340
www.cityofmoorhead.com/parks
Celebrate summer at RiverArts in Memorial Park [210 8th St N, Moorhead] from 5:30pm8:30pm! Bring the whole family for an outdoor concert, horse drawn carriage rides, shopping, farmers market & kid’s activities. FREE admission.
11
Understanding Your Grief: Touchstones for Hope and Healing
www.hrrv.org/journeyinghome
Join Hospice of the Red River Valley for their Journey Home Spring Conference. Featuring noted author, educator and
grief counselor Dr. Alan Wolfelt, this is free and open to the public event will be held at Ramada Plaza & Suites [1635 42nd St S, Fargo], 7:00pm- 9:00pm. No registration required. Daytime conference for health care professionals will be held Wednesday, June 12. Visit our website for more information and to register.
13
Corks & Canvas Art & Wine
Walk
701.364.9867
www.downtownfargo.com
Sample select wines as you stroll through downtown Fargo businesses while enjoying great art and witness artists working live.
13 & 27
Parents
701.234.5570
www.sanfordhealth.org
This "Baby's First Ride" class focuses on infant car seats for newborns. Parents, grandparents, and other caregivers are encouraged to attend. We recommend attending this class during the 6-7 months of pregnancy, but welcome during any month of pregnancy. Participants are encouraged to bring their car seat if they
have already bought one, however it is not necessary. Make an appointment be at the Sanford Auditorium [801 Broadway North, Fargo] between 6:30pm-8pm. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary.
13
Child Passenger Safety
Made Simple
701.780.5179
www.safekids.org
This “Child Passenger Safety Made Simple” class is for expectant or new parents to teach them how to properly install and use car seats. Class meets at Rydell GM Auto Center [2700 S Washtington St – front entrance –Grand Forks] 6pm-7:30pm. Call to make your reservations.
14
Midwest Kid Fest & Teddy Bear Parade
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] will be filled with music, laughter & bright colors
11am-7pm as children play & learn. Bring a teddy bear to the Dike West Parking Lot and begin the day with a march in the parade starting at 10:30am. All activities are free!
15
Art & Wine Walk
701.772.3710
www.novac.org
Sample select wines as you stroll through downtown Grand Forks and East Grand Forks businesses while enjoying great art and witness artists working live.
19
Wild West Jamboree
701.433.5360
www.wfparks.org
Enjoy a Rootin’ Tootin’ good time of activities including music with Silverado, free carriage rides, gunny sack races, barrel car rides, a petting zoo, roping demos, face painting & other western games at Rendezvous Park [1055 32nd Ave W, West Fargo] 5:30pm-7:30pm. Pony rides will be offered for $2. Hotdogs, chips and beverage will be available for $1. Bring your lawn chair or blanket.
24 Park Movie Night
www.fargoparks.com
Come to Island Park [302 7th St. S, Fargo] at dusk for some fun in the park at the annual Summer Movie Nights! The fun
starts when the sun goes down with a movie with free Pepsi and popcorn while supplies last
28
Tortoise Versus The Hare
www.wfparks.org
Missoula Children’s Theatre is the nation’s largest touring children’s theatre and will be at Cheney Middle School [825 17th Avenue East] in West Fargo presenting Tortoise Versus The Hare with a twist on the classic story that you know and love. 2pm-3pm and 4:30pm-6pm show times.
28 & 29
Nordic Footprints
218.299.5452
www.hcscconline.org
Authentic Scandinavian event featuring dancing, entertainment, booths and food at the Historical & Cultural Society of Clay county.
26-30
Grand Forks County Fair
218.773.7114
www.grandforksfair.com
A large midway full of fun rides, there will also be 4H exhibits, dog and horse shows, baking contests, pie and ice cream socials, concerts, demolition derby & much more!
Growing up in Thief River Falls, MN, which her parents still call home, Jessica Jarmin’s childhood included company from a younger brother and sister, and every stray animal they could sweet talk mom into letting them keep Jessica, 32, recalls falling in love with photography in her early teens and admits that at the time the best part of being the older sibling and an aspiring photographer was her brother and sister For Jessica they were like her very own personal live-in photography models and equipment bellhops, and she took full advantage of their services Jessica’s formal photography training began at Northern Expression School of the Arts in her hometown while she was still in high school After graduation she earned a degree in Professional Photography Technology from Ridgewater College in Willmar, MN, where she was named “Student Photographer of the Year” by the Minnesota Professional Photographer’s Association Now, after many years of study and practice, photography has fallen in love with Jessica Together with husband, Jared, and 2-year-old daughter, Eden, Jessica is celebrating the one-year anniversary of Timeless Images Photography First to admit she is still learning every day, Jessica has enjoyed the business venture so far, but is excited to see where her photography passion will take her
photos: coulter photography | shawn coulter
how would you describe your photography style?
Genuine and simplistic. My images are pure, created using primarily natural light and God’s green earth.
what is your favorite photography accessory?
Can I say a ponytail holder? I have ruined one-too-many images because the wind decided to blow my hair in front of the lens at the most inopportune moment! But actually my favorite photography accessory is a rustic prop; something old, beat up or tattered.
how important is Photoshop to your final images?
Photoshop does play an important role in modern digital photography. I rely on it to add the finishing touches to an image, such as brightening colors, removing a stray hair or blemish, or tweaking an exposure. There is a misconception that Photoshop can fix anything; and it is a powerful tool, but I believe that starting with a quality image straight out of the camera is a must.
do you have a most memorable session and why?
During college I recruited an acquaintance from my part-time job for portraits. She was a single mom to a child with special needs who didn’t have extra money to put towards a luxury item like professional photography. I knew during the session with them that I had extended much more than just service as a photographer. Fast forward years later, her family was devastated when they lost their home and its contents to a fire. I had saved many of my milestone sessions from photography school, so I was able to deliver, for a second time, the images from that photography session. The experience was profound in many ways. I learned
We use non-toxic products and the Louse-buster to kill lice and their eggs! Call today and get rid of those pests for good.
701.388.9770 www.nitpickyfargo.com
Make your walk/run more meaningful by joining the Lend A Hand charity team. Turn your steps into help for local families in medical crisis.
All youth and adult events qualify.
that photography is an important thread that can twine together our past and shape our outlook on the future.
how would you describe your photography philosophy?
It’s like baking a cake—I encourage my clients to bring their own ingredients by being a part of the design process to best showcase their personality and style. Then I mix their ideas in with a few special ingredients of my own, and, presto! The end result is a perfectly done portrait that is both part of the client and part of the “baker.”
how do you think your work has made a difference? or how would you like it to make a difference?
Today’s society somehow programs us to focus on all of our flaws, real and perceived. Through my work, I hope to show my clients that they each have a beautiful, unique, and perfect charisma all their own. I can assure you that when you share your portraits with family and friends, no one else is thinking about your laugh lines or your extra 10 pounds or whatever else we all beat ourselves up over each day. Get in front of the camera folks, despite your reservations.
The biggest challenge of owning my own photography business has been putting a price tag on my work. It is a sensitive balance to ensure that my time, talent and investment are represented in the fee, while at the same time not pricing myself out of the local market. Some photographers prefer to price their services and others prefer to price their end-result products. There is a consumer demand for both business models and I have found that service-driven pricing is working for me.
The largest misconception that professional photographers face is the belief that photography is “free” or inexpensive. I believe this misconception derives from consumer mentality that they are buying a product, the tangible picture, when in reality they are also buying a service, the taking of the picture. A professional photographer has invested her blood, sweat and tears into learning the camera in and out, understanding lighting and exposure,
he trusts you completely trust us to keep him healthy
post-processing techniques and so on. By investing in professional photography you are purchasing custom, personalized artwork from a local artist. how do you make time for you?
I’m very organized and schedule oriented. When planning out my schedule, I try to be very conscious about allotting time for everything, including myself. I plan deadlines for my commitments so it is clear when I am going to deliver, and I regularly schedule dates with family and friends so we both have something to look forward to. Although it sounds very clinical to schedule your whole life, it allows me to feel guilt free about taking time for just me because I know that no one is wondering when or how they are going to fit into an already busy life.
when not behind the camera what might we find you and your family doing?
My daughter is a guppy and loves the water, so we are often at the pool or in swimming lessons. My husband enjoys many outdoor sports, such as fishing, and I enjoy being at the mall when he goes. I also
love to repurpose old stuff! I usually have a few painting and fixer-upper jobs on my to-do list each summer. Gardening is something I enjoyed helping my grandparents with as a kid and I’m looking forward to giving a box garden a go this summer.
Timeless Images Photography
701.318.1069
By appointment only.
jessica@timelessimagesfoto.com
www.timelessimagesfoto.com
www.facebook.com/timelessimagesfoto.com
tiny sprout portraits
timeless images photography
Lindsay Kinnick, 28, doesn’t remember much about delivering her first child, Evelyn, two years ago.
“I remember asking the nurse ‘where’s the baby, where’s the baby?’ and her responding that I hadn’t had it yet,” Lindsay says.
Medication to help alleviate labor pains made Lindsay feel “out of it” and as if she wasn’t able to truly experience the birth.
“It was pretty wild,” recalls husband, Matt, 30. low-intervention birth options
When Lindsay and Matt were expecting their second child, Jack, they made low intervention part of their
Lindsay and Matt arrived at the Sanford Family Birth Center early in the morning on February 5, where their team was waiting and ready to support them in what the Family Birth Center team fondly calls “an experience of a lifetime”.
Her nurse, Kayla Dyrness, helped Lindsay slow down her breathing. “Kayla was great, I deeply appreciated her support and guidance,” Lindsay says.
Kayla was also impressed with Lindsay and Matt. “Walking into the room, I could immediately see what an excellent coach Matt was to Lindsay; they were both doing great,” she explains. Kayla held Lindsay’s hand, encouraged her breathing and guided her when it was time to push. “My role was to ensure mom and baby were safe.”
birth plan and shared their plans with Lindsay’s doctor, Jordan Coauette, MD.
More commonly known as “natural birth,” low-intervention births use the following tools and techniques to manage the discomfort of labor:
• Lamaze skills with a focus on relaxed breathing
• Use of water, baths or showers
• Yoga
• Partner/nurse coaching
• Doula support
• Massage
• Movement during labor such as walking, rocking or swaying
• Pressure points
• Positive distractions such as music, saying mantras or inspiring verses
an experience of a lifetime
The Kinnicks’ preparation paid off; when Lindsay’s labor began she found comfort being at home, she took baths to soothe the contractions and was able to remain home until the contractions were a few minutes apart.
Not only were mom and baby safe but Kayla described the atmosphere as “calm and peaceful.” Lindsay agrees, “The experience was even better than planned, it was such a delight to meet Jack for the first time. I was part of the experience, and emotionally there and present in the moment. The recovery was really quick.”
Matt says they were still prepared to ask for medication if it came down to it, but: “We made it through.”
Lindsay agrees. “It’s kind of like running a marathon. Labor still hurts! But once you get through it, it’s such a deep sense of accomplishment.”
With Lindsay’s hard work, Matt’s excellent coaching and the Sanford Family Birth Center’s support it really was an “experience of a lifetime”.
After 18 years away from the FM area [living first in Los Angeles and later Manhattan], Jim Spielman decided it was time to move back Along with wife Melissa and daughters, Bella [6] and Ivy [4], the Spielman family call West Fargo home and don’t plan on leaving anytime soon This Minnesota native and MSUM graduate credits his strong work ethic to his parents To make sure a then 8-year-old Jim didn’t spend his summer “sloughing off,” his “very German” father put him to work in the family animal-nutrition business In the summers to follow this young entrepreneur found his own work selling sweet corn from his grandmother’s garden, mowing lawns, sweeping floors—you name it—he did it! At the age of 12 Jim landed a job with a large, family farming/national transportation operation working summers and weekends during the school year until he was 20-years-old Always ready for a challenge and having never lost his entrepreneurial spirit, Jim is now Managing Partner for The Oak Street Group, a Pittsburgh-based investment bank/business consulting firm he co-founded with a former colleague from Wall Street
photos: rialee photography | sabrina kliniske
if i could only eat three things for the rest of my life, they would be… steak, baked potatoes, and broccoli.
my all-time favorite song…
Lady in Red by Eric Clapton when I’m on a date with Melissa. Anything Kiss or AC/DC when I’m any place else.
i wish i knew more about…
what women want. I live with three women and still don’t know. I could make tons of money if I completely understood the psychology of women. 200 years of books and research papers written on this topic and I have yet to meet a woman who doesn’t claim men are still clueless.
being a dad has made me appreciate…
my parents. Watching my kids get into everything, like I did when I was young, definitely makes me appreciate my parents more. Why my parents did not go completely insane raising me is beyond me.
something every guy should have… a women to secretly “man-scape” you and not tell your buddies [or her friends].
i’m a valued customer at…
McDonald’s. My girls could eat chicken nuggets all day long.
if i could give my wife anything it would be… more kids. Our girls bring us great joy.
i’m not embarrassed to admit…
I’m color blind. I would be a true danger to society if the US DOT ever decides to change the order of the lights on our stop lights.
one life lesson i hope to instill in my kids… take calculated risks. It’s simple. If you think you want to accomplish something, either you go for it and take that risk—giving yourself a 50/50 chance at success—or do nothing and absolutely lock-in 100% chance of failure. Not trying, you will never learn how to perform under pressure, to operate outside your comfort zone, and to convert your fear into the fuel that drives your determination. That’s the true essence of regret and definition of failure.
the hobby i most enjoy…
the gym. Our entire family spends a lot of time at the gym, but I especially need to get my heart rate above zero once a day or I get cranky.
the habit i would like to break…
watching reality TV. There are a million better uses of my time, but it’s like a train wreck. I can’t help but get sucked into watching these atrocities. one word that best describes me… direct. You always know exactly where I stand and I don’t mince words.
the one gadget i can’t live without…
my Sonicare tooth brush. I can go a day without using my phone. I can’t say the same for my toothbrush.
i’m not a big fan of…
Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears. Now that I have daughters of my own, whatever these women might have meant to me in my youth has been totally obliterated.
date night with my wife means…
dinner, drinks and hilarious conversation. No matter the place, Melissa always makes me laugh. Just being in the moment and sharing life’s experiences with her will never get old.
When was the last time you learned something new? When was the last time you deliberately learned something new? Sure, every day we experience events that can teach us something if we look for the lesson, but I’m not talking about that learning. I’m talking about the last time you decided that you needed to know more about a particular topic or wanted to learn a new skill, and then you went and gained that new knowledge. Been awhile?
why bother?
Why should you take the time to learn something new? Why make the extra effort to add a new skill or build on what you already know?
With a little bit of digging, you’ll find all kinds of research on how learning benefits the brain, makes us happier, or improves careers. It also makes you a more interesting participant in conversations around the water cooler and at cocktail parties.
While it’s interesting to have new information, the best part about learning is the fact we can’t learn something new without learning something new about ourselves as well. It’s inevitable…learning something new creates an environment for personal growth.
Whether you read a book, listen to a lecture, or conduct an extensive Internet search on a particular theme, you’ll come away knowing something more about what you believe, what you know to be true, or what you would like to change going forward. That’s the impact knowledge has.
Intentional or as a by-product of a life event, learning is foundational to growth and development. I once heard a conference speaker say that as a manager he would pay for any sort of learning one of his employees wanted to pursue. Why? Often learning something in one area provides inspiration and insight in another.
It’s time to be more deliberate about what you’re learning. Let’s get started!
make a plan
Is there something you want to learn and haven’t yet?
What’s holding you back? Make a plan to move toward your goal by first figuring out the commitment needed to get there.
Making a plan helps in many ways:
• having a written plan makes it real and increases the possibility of your learning event taking place
• if it’s a big learning goal [like scuba diving or creating pottery] you’ll identify what gaps you need to bridge [time, money, etc.]
• creating a plan will help you work through any fears you may have about learning something new learn from your life events
Next time you participate in an activity that isn’t what you usually do, take a few moments before the event to examine what you want to get out of it. Following the event, think about what it taught you. What did you
learn about yourself? What did you learn about your relationship with the individuals around you?
Sometimes learning is forced on us, particularly in a work environment. Even in areas where we have expertise, we hold the door open to learning more when we come into each situation with an attitude of curiosity, learning and expectation. Speaking from experience, in those times when I’ve joined a learning event where I thought I’d “heard it all before,” I’ve learned little. Conversely, when I’ve gone in with an
you’ll find all kinds of research on how learning benefits the brain, makes us happier, or improves careers
attitude of curiosity, looking to find one or two things to take away and apply to my life or add to my own expertise, I learned something. get to that reading you’ve been putting off Russian poet Joseph Brodsky said, “There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them!” Pull an unread non-fiction book off your bookshelf and read it. Then refer to your to-read or want-to-read list, pick one, get it, and read it. And don’t discount social media. The Facebook pages you like, your LinkedIn newsfeed, or your Twitter feed all link to articles that should, since you connected with them, be interesting to you. Follow those links and learn something new.
We learn so much when we teach others. What do you know that you can pass on? What do you know that you can share? What advice can you give? How can you help someone else avoid some of the mistakes you have made?
I encourage people to take the initiative to become a mentor to someone else. You might be surprised, but
there are people out there who look up to you. There are individuals who would be thrilled to spend time with you to learn about your business, your experience, and the path you took to get to where you are today.
Being in the Midwest, and typically conservative and very modest, acknowledging that we have a particular expertise or talent can be difficult. It takes courage and a little bit of ego to put oneself out there like that. That said, I can tell you from experience that each mentor learns from his or her mentee. The relationship and benefit go both ways.
Hey, this isn’t about going back to school! When we feel forced to learn something it usually takes the fun out of it. This time you get to choose. When a new topic or idea can be approached with a sense of curiosity and adventure, it’s then that we’re able to learn the most.
So, when was the last time you deliberately learned something new?
It’s time!
There are literally a bazillion books available for expectant parents. Head to the bookstore or Google it—you’ll see what we mean. It’s not surprising this is a category flooded with options. Approximately four million babies are born in the US each year and what mama in her right mind doesn’t want to make sure she knows what she’s getting into and that she is doing everything she can to ensure a healthy wee one? Happily, there is now a real resource that trumps the rest: Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby: The Ultimate Pregnancy Guide.
Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby is designed for women at any stage of pregnancy and as we see it there are three clear reasons to give it a read:
#1 credibility First, Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby is written by moms with credentials. Siobhan Dolan, M.D., is mama to three teenagers, an associate professor in the OBGYN department at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, an attending physician at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City, and medical advisor to the March of Dimes. Alice Lesch Kelly is also the mama of teenagers and has co-written seven books about women’s health and writes for many magazines, including Fit Pregnancy and Conceive. These two women are reason enough to trust the information provided, but there is more.
#2 supported This book has the full backing of the March of Dimes, an organization that for 75 years has been focused on a future when all children are born healthy. Since its inception by President Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1938 the March of Dimes has devoted billions of dollars to aid scientific research and educational initiatives that have improved the lives of mamas and babies in the US and throughout the world. Wiping out polio from the US, promoting the use of the Apgar score for evaluating a baby’s health at birth, and educating women of childbearing age about the importance of folic acid fortification and supplements are just some of the accomplishments of the March of Dimes’ work. Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby is the first pregnancy guidebook written with the full support of the March of Dimes, which translates into a read you can truly trust.
#3 readable Simply, it’s a great read. It’s sensible and not preachy. It’s to the point and not wordy. It’s valuable and enjoyable. You’ll learn about important prenatal care, choosing a provider, how your baby grows, as well as information on the latest advances in areas such as:
• prenatal testing
• nutrition
• exercise
• breastfeeding
• infant screening and care
• making your home environment safe
• managing postpartum symptoms
The book also provides practical advice every mamato-be wants quick access to, including comprehensive checklists for labor, delivery and beyond, a glossary of
terms women are likely to hear over the course of their pregnancies, and uncomfortable pregnancy happenings such as mood swings, headaches, heartburn and morning sickness [to name a few]. Lastly, it’s an easy, fun read. Chapters are concise, but also offer online resources and “in-depth” sections at the back of the book you can reference if the topic really speaks to you and your situation. In- depth sections cover areas such as having multiples, lacking health insurance, vaginal birth after C-section, drug safety, getting help for depression or domestic violence and abuse, as well as advice if you need to quit smoking or drinking alcohol.
This is just a small taste of what this book has to offer. So if you are thinking about having a baby or already have a bun in the oven, go get your copy of Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby today. Available in hardcopy or eReader:
• Hardcopy—http://www.marchofdimes.com/ catalog/product.aspx?productid=5291&
• Hardcopy & NOOK Book—http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/healthy-mom-healthy-babysiobhan-dolan/1111397910
• Hardcopy & Kindle—http://www.amazon.com/ Healthy-Baby-March-Dimes-Book/dp/006211929X
• iPad, iPhone & iPod touch—https://itunes.apple. com/us/book/healthy-mom-healthy-baby/ id533440925?mt=11
And don’t forget to visit the March of Dimes website [www.marchofdimes.com] for opportunities to support this wonderful organization and find valuable information and programs available for all.
the book provides practical advice every mama-to-be wants quick access to, including comprehensive checklists for labor, delivery and beyond, a glossary of terms women are likely to hear over the course of their pregnancies, and uncomfortable pregnancy happenings
Despite our valiant efforts of dousing our kids in hand sanitizer, scrubbing away a layer of skin from vigorous hand-washing, and enforcing strict rules on shielding their coughs and sneezes with their elbows, Harper is sick as a dog, Dawg. Poor thing is down for the count.
Like so many little girls, she’s got the Bieber Fever. BAD.
Not sure I would call the Biebs a “role model,” for Harper. But she definitely likes his music and “wuvs” knowing who he is. And we do our best to filter the information
she hears about him. He seems like a good boy, so far. Still, when she asked for a Justin Bieber-themed fifth birthday party, we tried to persuade her: “How about My Little Pony or Hello Kitty? Barbie?,” to no avail. Classic case of Bieber Fever. Classic.
Parents know the importance of role models for children. Of course modeling starts at home, but there are powerful outside influences that work against even the most protective parent or guardian. Never have we been as saturated with details of stars’ lives with constant access to TV, the Internet and social media. Unfortunately children are easy targets. They are vulnerable, wide-eyed, and impressionable. The media projects the image that celebrities, athletes, and rock stars live glamorous lives. They have it all: money, good looks, fancy clothes, shiny cars, fame, fans, and talent. As far as we can tell, their lives look pretty perfect.
Many of these young idolized figures—like The Biebs—are children themselves. We may say, “They are people—just people.” My mom—never one to swoon over titles or status—opines, “They put their pants on just like the rest of us, one foot at a time.” Yet the glamour and glitz can blind us—and them—to any equal footing. It is unnatural for anyone, much less a minor who lacks real-world experience, to live up to the constant, shallow standard of stardom. Predictably, many fall from grace. And when they do, we’re blanketed with the gory details. Therein lies the challenge for parents.
Similar to the preventative efforts for avoiding a virus—sort of like the Bieber Fever—parents across the globe try mightily to push back on these outside forces that portray celebrities’ lavish lifestyles, riches and beauty to be cornerstones of model behavior. When parents allow celebrities to be their child’s primary role models, the line between fantasy and reality sometimes becomes too blurred for imparting lessons about values, character and reality.
The good news is that role modeling starts at home. Research supports—and our experience shows us—that children whose learning, experience and skills are acquired through observing and mimicking the behavior of adults in their own lives have the tendency to mimic the overall behavior pattern of these individuals. Children learn by watching and imitating those closest to them: parents, family, teachers, neighbors, clergy, and coaches.
And in fairness to some celebrities, there are many [Justin Bieber among them] who pride themselves on trying to be satisfactory role models, understanding that their audience is young and watching. Let’s face it: our culture is fascinated with celebrities. And, short of keeping our kids in a box, pop culture stars will get our kids’ attention. But parents have power. Balancing and filtering information about superstars may help mitigate the negative impact on the lives of their young fans. Children should know that many actors and rock stars work to help charities and to lift the underprivileged. There are athletes who launch after-school programs and visit patients in hospitals, hoping to cheer them up and bring a smile. Parents control the direction of the discussion about specific traits they like, respect and want their children to imitate.
So that brings me back to the treatment for Harper’s “Bieber Fever,” and one of Justin’s most popular releases, “Never Say Never.”
After much consideration, we nursed our daughter’s ailment—her “Fever”—with a Justin Bieber-themed
birthday party…with a slight—albeit weird—twist. Understanding that I typically dress up to add life to the party theme—last year’s Princess party was fun and magical—and obviously memorable—because Harper asked me to dress-up again for this year’s party…as Justin Bieber. I laughed out loud. Giggled at the possibilities of my get-up but a little fearful of the psychological damage I might cause these Bieber-ites.
Setting my sights on this character, I did some research. Turns out, Justin Bieber’s favorite color is purple. He was raised by a single mom, whom he holds in very high regard. He is a Christian. He’s a talented dancer and singer. He wears those silly droopy jeans and untied skater sneakers that have the enlarged tongue. He invests in great charitable causes and uses his celebrity status to do good, like visiting sick children in hospitals. And according to www.kidsworld.com, he is rated #9 on the Top Ten List of Celebrity Role Models.
With “Baby Baby Baby oooohhh” purring in the background, I shimmied into my dark colored baggy denims, slipped my piggies into the huge skater shoes, zipped up my purple hoodie with the flat-billed baseball cap underneath, and grabbed my blow-up microphone. I opened the door to reveal myself: “Yo. ‘S up.” Harper was star-struck. The two older kids snorted giggles. And Drew….well, Drew nearly fell off the couch.
In the end, we had fun. Harper was proud to have a version of Justin Bieber make a cameo appearance at her birthday party. That she asked me to do it made me proud, too. Role modeling starts at home, and beneath the pop-star costume stands Harper’s mommy. She’s real and imperfect. She’s a person Harper knows and trusts and loves, and who wants to instill in Harper the importance of having fun, laughing [at ourselves] and living happily ever after.
Peace out, Dawg.
Kathleen is a stay-at-home mom who serves on a number of community boards/committees, is active in her church, kids’ school, and politics and runs to sustain her own mental health! This Philadelphia native is married to a fourth generation North Dakotan, Drew, and proudly considers North Dakota her home. They have three children. Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speech writer. Kathleen received a BS from The Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University in Philadelphia.
We bring a fine arts background, graphic design expertise and years of commercial advertising experience to seeing, capturing and compelling. And it all comes with that special something, the spark, that will set your company, product or service apart.
Happy Mother’s Day, OTMOM readers! Sometimes I get frustrated with Mother’s Day. I want to feel appreciated, loved, and maybe even a little spoiled by my family. Instead, as I am busy cooking a celebratory dinner for my mom or mother-in-law, I feel like my own husband and kids don’t take the opportunity to recognize what I do for them. Those are times when I stop and remember what a privilege and blessing it is to be a mom. This Mother’s Day spoil yourself [and your family] with this light, refreshing, and easy dessert. It is simple enough your kids can help you make it, too! And the best part? With the leftover mint, you can make yourself a mojito!
servings: 4
you need:
• 2 oranges
• 2 1/4 cups water
• 3/4 cup sugar
how to:
1. Using a vegetable peeler, cut the zest from one of the oranges in wide strips and then into matchstick strips.
2. Put the zest in a medium saucepan with the water and sugar. Simmer until the zest is translucent and tender and the liquid is reduced to approximately 2/3 cup [about 25 minutes].
3. Strain out the zest, reserving both the syrup and the zest.
4. Squeeze 3/4 cup juice from the oranges, or use best-quality orange juice, strain into the syrup, and chill in the refrigerator.
5. Core each half of the pineapple by making a
• 1 pineapple, chilled, peeled, and halved lengthwise
• 1 pint lemon sorbet
• 4 sprigs mint for garnish [optional]
diagonal cut on one side of the core with a long serrated knife.
6. Make a diagonal cut on the other side of the core, forming a V.
7. Remove the core. Turn the halves over and cut the pineapple crosswise into 1/8-inch slices.
8. Arrange the slices on four plates in concentric circles.
9. Pour the orange syrup over the pineapple slices.
10. Put a scoop of sorbet on top of the pineapple and the candied zest over the sorbet. Garnish with the mint.
source: food & wine magazine's quick from scratch italian cookbook
recipe recommended by:
Kari Hitterdahl’s passion for food, family, and fun has been with her since her upbringing on the shores of Big Floyd Lake near Detroit Lakes, MN. She earned Secondary Education degrees in Social Studies and English from Concordia College. Although determined to leave the area upon graduation, she instead fell in love with a globetrotting area native, and has lived in the F-M area for 18 years. Kari and her husband, Brent, have spent many long winters perfecting Thai recipes with their three children and eager taste-testers, Gunnar [13], Ava [10] and Ella [5]. Kari takes great pride in her career of stay-at-home mom, which has allowed her to cultivate her love for food and provide imaginative and healthy meals for her family. Just don’t ask her kids about meals they have labeled “Kari’s Creations!”
photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki
People ask Vickie Piepkorn how she does it. What is it like raising a child with special needs?
The best way she has found to describe it is by sharing an essay called “Welcome to Holland.”
Written by Emily Perl Kingsley [the mother of a special-needs child] the essay talks about a person’s excitement for a much anticipated trip to Italy. Bags packed, itinerary planned, ticket bought, plane boarded…Italy bound! Imagine the disbelief when the plane lands in Holland, not Italy. Holland wasn’t the trip planned, but in the end there is a lot of beauty, amazing people and a bounty of blessings. That’s the Holland Vickie knows and she couldn’t imagine living any other way.
Vickie wanted to be a mom ever since she was 9-years-old and her mother brought home her new baby brother.
“I thought, ‘This is fantastic!’” she remembers with a chuckle. “This is my little baby!”
Vickie eagerly settled into her new role as her mother’s helper. Vickie’s dad, Dick Johnson, says it was apparent early on that Vickie was destined for motherhood.
“Kids have always been way, way up on her list,” says Dick. “There’s no doubt about that.”
Vickie put her love of children to work and earned her undergraduate degree in Elementary Education and a master’s in School Counseling. While student teaching, she started dating her husband, Dave, a fellow Fargo North high-school graduate.
“She was beautiful with an outgoing personality!” Dave recalls of Vickie.
The couple married in 1990 and when the time came to expand their family, Vickie was beyond ready.
Alex was born in 1995. Vickie had been teaching for seven years, and now she and Dave made the decision to embrace her role as a full-time mother at home.
“My mom had been a stay-at-home mom and I knew that was what I wanted and needed to do, too,” states Vickie. “I was blessed that I could be home.”
Being married and having a child was “awesome,” says Vickie, her eyes lighting up at those early memories of chubby cheeks and gummy smiles. But she also longed to remain active—in body, mind and spirit. As a teacher Vickie had always been engaged in her school and in her students’ and their families’ lives. As a mom, she wanted to be a part of the mothering community in Fargo. She wanted to meet other moms and their children and be a part of something bigger. So she and a couple of friends started a local group at First Lutheran Church in North Fargo called Mothers of Preschoolers [MOPS], based on an international support agency dedicated to moms and their preschoolers. MOPS groups still meet today at churches all across Fargo-Moorhead, including the original group Vickie and her friends founded.
“I love to be active and motherhood did not change that,” Vickie says. “If anything, it empowered me. I like to be a part of something. I’m not a sideline sitter. I think it’s a good thing and it certainly keeps me busy.”
Vickie’s life was about to get even busier—less than two years after Alex arrived, she became pregnant again.
a second son
Will was born in the spring of 1997. He was a big, healthy baby and Vickie and Dave couldn’t believe how lucky they were to have two beautiful sons.
But as Vickie explains how the early months of Will’s life passed, while her chin quivers with the effort of holding back tears, something didn’t seem right.
“It was so deceiving. He looked totally normal. But in my heart I knew almost right away that something was off,” says Vickie, her words thick with emotion.
The months passed by and so did Will’s ability to meet certain milestones. He didn’t look around like other babies. He couldn’t sit up. Although his markers were all within normal range, Vickie couldn’t shake her concerns.
“One day, I wrote on a piece of snowman paper—it’s silly the details I remember—all the things between six and nine months that Will couldn’t do,” says Vickie, tears finally spilling down her cheeks. “Our doctor said, ‘Huh. I think we need to do some checking.’”
Vickie didn’t know it yet, but she had just landed in Holland.
“He had, and has, all of his parts and he looked so normal that I swear he was going to be normal,” says Vickie. “But doctors told us he would more than likely have developmental delays and would not likely develop like other children.”
Compounding the news of Will’s special needs was the harsh truth of his condition. Doctors had no diagnosis. The only conclusion they had was based on the results of an MRI showing abnormal white brain matter that would most likely translate into developmental delays.
Doctors told the Piepkorns Will’s developmental delays would involve his verbal language skills, his eyesight and his muscles. But Dave and Vickie were encouraged to start Will in therapy immediately to help those abilities he did have.
Under that amount of stress and concern, Vickie could have withdrawn from her family and friends. She could have felt isolated and alone, as so many parents do when they learn their child has special needs; but that’s
not Vickie. She’s a fighter. She’d take the boys to MOPS, where she could engage in grown-up conversations with other moms and let her children play. She arranged play dates for Alex. As much as possible, she encouraged her sons to play together. She researched heaps of holistic and naturalistic treatments and found tons of local therapy agencies who could work with Will and show Vickie how to help him as he grew older.
“When Southeast Early Intervention Services came to my house for the first time it was like a lifeline,” recalls Vickie. “They were the first ones who helped me see I wasn’t living in my own little world. When you go to one-on-one therapy services you don’t get a chance to see other parents and their children with special needs. But Southeast showed me all these cool toys and gadgets designed just for kids like Will so I knew there had to be more. I knew that there were more people in Holland just like me!”
Just as she had felt as a rookie mom taking Alex to MOPS, Vickie felt part of a community and she wanted to know more and do more to stay involved with other parents raising children with special needs. So she joined the Experienced Parent Program support group offered through Southeast Human Services.
“I met parents whose kids had life-threatening complications. Or who had articulation problems. Or were born without an arm. It was such a huge variety,” says Vickie.
It was through that support group that Vickie developed some of her closest friends, like Brenda Schmid of Fargo, whose daughter Hannah also has special needs.
“As she spoke about Will she focused on the things he was able to do,” recounts Brenda. “As she continued to describe some of the milestones he had not met yet, she began to cry. My heart hurt for her as I felt her same grief, fear and pain.”
Brenda says she and Vickie grew especially close because their children were the same age, and as moms they had a similar outlook on life and parenting.
“When someone asks what is ‘wrong with her,’ I simply say nothing is ‘wrong with her,’ this is how God made my daughter and God doesn’t make mistakes. I don’t like her to hear me talk about her medical condition and disabilities, because that is not who she is, it is what she has,” explains Brenda. “It is important that our children are confident and comfortable with who they are. And they are probably some of the most confident, happy and peaceful souls you will ever meet.”
The support group and early intervention therapy agencies gave Vickie her first foray into the world of special-needs parenting. She embraced every moment, every learning experience, every new type of therapy, every parent’s story. She was learning to love Holland.
As Will got older Vickie became increasingly interested in advocating for special-needs families. She knew firsthand the TRUST it took to load her son onto a school bus and hope that the driver and aid could, and would, meet his needs. She understood the FAITH parents had to have in their child’s teachers, paras, other school staff and students that their child would be treated well throughout the day. She recognized the importance of a strong, steady SUPPORT system for families. She grasped the FEAR families faced, especially if their child was non-verbal and non-mobile like Will.
“He and many of his friends are vulnerable. They are not able to speak for themselves, care for themselves or defend themselves. They, and we, rely on others to do this for them. This presents a whole new set of challenges and a whole new level of trust,” says Vickie. For all of those reasons, Vickie decided she couldn’t let another family of a special-needs child fall through the cracks. She not only wanted to be a voice for Will, but a voice for all special-needs families. She started small, joining the Experienced Parent Program at Southeast so she could help mentor other families walking through the door for the first time.
“It was great!” says Vickie. “I was like, ‘I’m the veteran now! Will’s five!’ Families could ask us all sorts of questions and we could help them navigate the information out there.”
She took Will to sessions at Riding On Angels’ Wings, a non-profit therapeutic horseback riding program based in Felton, MN. And then Vickie was introduced to the folks in Moorhead behind Hope, Inc., whose mission “is to provide mobility, educational and recreational opportunities for children and young adults with mobility challenges and their families.”
“Talk about an amazing experience,” Vickie says. “They had bikes, walkers, anything to get kids moving. And it introduced us to a whole new, cool set of people.”
One of those people is Kevin Anderson, who works for the Moorhead School District as an Occupational Therapist and teacher for students with physical and health disabilities. He remembers the first time he met Vickie.
“She was so eager to provide movement opportunities for Will and she was actively involved in activities,” says Kevin. “While some parents came with hesitation and caution, Vickie was extremely enthusiastic.”
That enthusiasm came in handy when some of the original members of Hope, Inc., including Kevin and Adair Grommesh and Jim Stanke, wanted to expand the program to offer year-round activities for families. The families who had benefitted from the program, like the Piepkorns, jumped on board to raise awareness and funds.
Vickie says she couldn’t imagine not giving back to a program that had done so much for her son and her family.
“I really believe in the mission of Hope, Inc., to provide sports and recreational equipment for kids with mobility challenges and their families,” explains Vickie. “The program Hope, Inc. has developed is huge. Swimming. Sled Hockey. Fashion shows. Soccer. Even a play with singing and costumes. Anything that comes up, our families are like, ‘Let’s try it!’”
Several years ago Vickie expanded her outreach with the program by serving as a board member of Hope, Inc., and for the past two years, she has been President. Kevin says Hope, Inc. is lucky to have such a vivacious and tenacious advocate.
“I am most impressed by Vickie’s infectious personality and positivity. Despite the challenges of raising a son with significant physical and developmental disabilities, she is always willing to volunteer her time and advocate for children and families affected by disability.”
Just because Will is now a teenager doesn’t mean Vickie is slowing down anytime soon. If anything, her friend Brenda says, Vickie is more determined than ever to make sure other kids with special needs who are coming up the ranks get even better access to activities and programs than Will had when he was growing up.
“These are groups she never dreamed she would be involved with until she had Will and he introduced her
Will visits TNT weekly through his curriculum with Fargo Public Schools. Nate allows Will the opportunity to climb, crash, swing and jump just like any kid. Vickie loves the exercise that Will gets to experience at TNT and says Nate has made her a true believer in the benefits of physical movement for all children. For his part, Nate says Vickie is making an impact every day on the special-needs community across Fargo-Moorhead and families are benefitting whether they know her or not.
“Vickie wants the best for every child, and to do so she wants to impact the present and future,” says Nate. “She is involved to help parents understand what is available to them and their children, and help guide organizations in their programs. We as community organizations need involved parents like Vickie to further our impact.”
For 14 years, Vickie, Dave, Alex and Will lived without a diagnosis for his condition. Then two years ago doctors approached the Piepkorns about meeting with a new geneticist at Sanford Health. Although not having a diagnosis hadn’t weighed very heavily on her heart, Vickie agreed to give it a try.
“We’ve never been able to narrow the specifics down on what Will had so what did we have to lose?” she remembers thinking.
to the world of special needs,” says Brenda. “She does it because she loves Will and wants him to have the best life possible, filled with opportunity.”
For instance, when Kevin proposed a research study at TNT Fitness, on the benefits of physical activity for children suffering from mobility challenges, Vickie jumped at the chance to get Will involved. Her willingness to be a part of it introduced Vickie to yet another agency and group of people who are devoted to enhancing the lives of special-needs families.
Nate Hendrickson is one of the instructors at TNT Fitness. He was immediately blown away by Vickie’s willingness to try new things and think outside the box.
“I have never heard her say, ‘Will can’t do that,’” says Nate. “She is about taking her experiences and using them to improve the future for Will and all kids.”
Vickie has been equally impressed with TNT Fitness and their staff. “Their mission is truly to help all children of all abilities.”
Several tests later they finally had an answer. Will has LOMGNT1, which is a complicated acronym for an extremely rare recessive genetic disorder. It’s essentially a neuromuscular disease; the closest associated disease is congenital muscular dystrophy. Vickie and Dave are both carriers of this recessive gene and they had a one-in-four chance of creating a child with LOMGNT1. Alex does not have it, but he could be a carrier.
“I asked, ‘Is it life threatening?’ No. ‘Is there a cure?’ No. ‘Then where do we go from here?’ And that was it,” states Vickie. “I was like, ‘Whew.’ That’s our Will. He’s unique. He’s awesome. Knowing a diagnosis didn’t change that.”
Vickie has embraced life in Holland. So, too, have Dave, Alex, and the rest of their extended family.
Vickie’s father says Will has made all of them better people who are more patient, compassionate and understanding.
the bond between the piepkorn brothers is incredibly tight alex is will’s protector, entertainer and confidant
“I had never been involved with someone that close or within our family who had special needs and Will came along and there was this unbelievable natural flow,” says Dick. “It’s the best thing to happen to our family. I’m sure that my grandkids look at kids with special needs now in an entirely different way than if they hadn’t had Will in their family.”
The bond between the Piepkorn brothers is incredibly tight. Alex is Will’s protector, entertainer and confidant. Vickie says the first thing Alex does when he comes home from school is find Will and talk to him about his day. It warms her heart to know that Will’s condition has not defined his relationship with his brother.
“Will has always just been my brother. He brightens my day every day, no matter what,” explains Alex. “I don’t think anything is wrong with him. I treat him like you would treat any brother. Maybe I’m a little overprotective, though.”
This year, the boys are students together at Fargo North High where Alex is a senior and Will a freshman. When Alex had an opportunity to take a class with his brother, he jumped at the chance.
“The class is called Social Inclusion and we get to spend time together every day and sometimes I can take him out and walk around,” says Alex. “It was very important for me to be with Will at school this year as it is my senior year and I wanted to be with him as much as I could.”
Vickie couldn’t be more proud of the bond between her sons. She’s grateful that Alex was such a trooper during the countless therapy appointments he attended for Will’s sake as a youngster. And she feels blessed that Alex allowed, and allows, her to live a “regular” life as a parent, too, albeit with a unique outlook.
“Having a ‘typical’ child has offered us an amazing opportunity to keep all things in perspective. We don't get too worked up over the everyday types of situations,” says Vickie. Will helps us to keep the important things in perspective.”
life in holland
So what’s life really like in Holland, anyway?
A roller coaster, that’s for sure.
At first Vickie felt frightened, unsure, isolated.
“The hardest part was feeling alone in this new situation where not a lot of other people could understand what I was going through, I was so scared. I just wanted to laugh again. I’m funny, I think,” says Vickie with a smirk. “But for weeks, months, I didn’t laugh. But then I started laughing. And I’d look around and think, ‘Is this okay?’ Then other people saw me laughing and they became more comfortable with Will and us and our situation. It was freeing.”
Emboldened by her journey, Vickie works tirelessly to help other special needs families realize the same thing is possible for them.
“She is comfortable with herself and has a uniqueness about her that attracts others. People connect with and never seem to be afraid to confide in her,” shares Dave.
“There is a ton of help out there, but you have to open your heart and be out there and let people see,” Vickie says. “You’re not stuck in your house. This is huge for me to share my story. I think it reflects how I’ve changed and how I hope to help others change, too.”
“Life is what you make it…and we choose to be positive, have faith and trust this path was picked for us,” says Dave.
Vickie wholeheartedly believes that without Will their lives would be much different. “We never would’ve experienced the awesome life we have,” says Vickie. “We never would’ve met the people, families, therapists, parents, paras, bus drivers, teachers, respite-care workers—you name it—who make our lives and Will’s life and the lives of so many other children better every day.”
It’s a journey that Vickie says is just beginning.
“I want to be part of the change,” she says, simply. “I believe we can do it. I’m a ‘we’ person. We can do anything together. We have a different journey that isn’t done.”
And, if we’ve learned anything from Vickie, it’s that anything is possible in Holland.
“If you spend your life wishing for Italy you will never discover the beauty of Holland.”
To view the entire piece, Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley, visit www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html
They…we hear them referenced a lot on our parenting journey.
“They say you have to do it this way.”
“They say this is really bad.”
“They said you are in for trouble if your kiddo does that!”
Who in the world are “they?” I haven’t met them personally, but supposedly they know more than everyone else. One thing is for sure, as mamas we have lots of people in our ears…from nana to hubby to kiddos to your BFF. Some of what “they” say you need to listen to, some you need to react to and some…well some you can let go in one ear and out the other without a second thought.
Parenting is a joy, a rush, a privilege and a challenge at times. You want to do it right and you know you aren’t perfect, but trying your best. You need some help, some advice. Luckily you have someone ready and waiting to be your go-to guru. Someone who’s been there, done that. Someone you’ve known literally your whole life. Someone you love and trust. Great! Well, maybe not so great if the giver of advice is just a little too liberal with the advice-giving…and, oh yeah, she’s your mama.
when a mama don’t know it all
You love your mama and she obviously did something right because you’re here! But who wants to ever feel inadequate or performing below potential? No one! And it’s safe to assume your mama’s intention isn’t to make you feel bad. Whether you are 2, 10, 20 or 40, you are still your mama’s kiddo and you know that every mama wants to help her kiddo! So what can you do to keep the peace and your sanity when advice-giving takes a bad turn? Try these two easy tips:
• listen Before you get all defensive, really listen to what your mama is saying. Because she offers to give your wee one a bath doesn’t mean she doesn’t think you can do it right. She might be just trying to give you a break. Keep things in perspective before flying off the handle. And remember, you don’t have to follow any advice given to you. But you can smile and listen and keep everyone happy at the same time.
• communicate Your mama has done this wee-one thing, so she’s going to have some advice, but the way she did things with you doesn’t mean that’s how it’s done now. For instance, years ago wee ones were put to bed on their tummies, but research has proven that back sleeping significantly reduces the risk of SIDS. So when you get advice you don’t have to get in a fight over what is right or wrong. You can tell your mama why you are doing it the way you are. Choose your words wisely. Explain and communicate. Don’t criticize or dismiss. Using words like meddling, unwanted or interfering are verbal weapons of mass destruction.
You can be grateful your wee one has a grandparent who loves him and is involved. Don’t dismiss the blessing that is, but you have every right to set your limits and expectations of the things you want for your wee one.
60% of adult women say their mothers were more influential than their fathers, compared with 45% of men
You’ve got this mama stuff down. You are the queen of the castle with your little tot worshiping the ground you walk on…right? I mean you are the mama. Your tot knows that, so what’s the deal with him shunning you for your parenting counterpart? No fair!
i’m kind of a big deal
You are prepared, ready and willing to be “the mama.” Baths, bedtime, boo-boo kissing…you can handle it all. So what do you do when your tot doesn’t want you doing what “the mama” is supposed to do? This is a common phase for tots where they decide a certain someone is the one they want. Your tot likes you and the tide could turn your way at any moment. Here are some tips to make sure parenting doesn’t entirely fall on the shoulders of one caregiver:
• mama don’t cry First, don’t run off and cry your eyes out because your tot pushes you away. Talk about counterproductive. Stick it out and keep showing your tot affection, even if he snubs you. Withdrawing from your tot only makes him more reliant on your partner.
• just do it Step up and do some of the things your tot wants done by your partner. One reason for your tot’s clinginess to your partner could be simple routine. Your partner has typically been the one to do certain things and your tot wants it to stay that way. Time to take the lead and make sure your partner is ready to give you the reins. Your partner can tell your tot, “I’m busy. Mama can do it for you.”
• tot date Carve out some mama and tot time, just the two of you. Run errands, go for a walk, visit the library, anything that is just the two of you.
Like any phase in tothood, this too shall pass. Be patient. Keep being the mama and your tot will warm up before you know it.
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for by a stay-at-home dad
She is really a good friend. Been there through thick and thin, good and bad, highs and lows. You trust her, love her and respect her…so why is she always trying to one-up you when the conversation turns to your preschoolers?
anything you can do I can do better
Let’s be honest, as mamas we can all be competitive. And if anyone wants to say or insinuate that our preschooler isn’t meeting the mark, just watch a sweet, docile, timid creature turn into a raging, protective mama bear with
claws and fangs sharpened. Bragging, one-upping, whatever you want to call it, can become just plain annoying. You know how it goes. Your 5-year-old can read at a 2nd grade level and hers has a book deal. Your 4-year-old loves to finger paint and hers is the next Pablo Picasso. Our preschoolers are special and amazing and it’s inevitable you are going to find yourself in situations where he is being compared to others. The key is how you react to it. Charles Swindoll has a great quote: “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” So when Bonnie Bragger enters your stratosphere keep these tips in mind and keep your cool:
• bravo Little 3-year-old Suzy knows every state capital and how to spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious [yes, that is the correct spelling], while your preschooler is mastering colors and shapes? Good for Suzy! Acknowledge the fact and move on. Change the subject and let it go. Don’t get drawn into a battle of “oh yeah, well my preschooler blah, blah, blah…” There isn’t anything to win here so don’t try.
• i’m rubber you’re glue Remember that a parent’s bragging can be a reflection of her own insecurity and competitiveness, so don’t take it personally. And don’t hold it against the kiddo being bragged about. You get no bonus points for pointing out shortcomings of a preschooler.
• do as i do Can’t stand a braggart? Then watch yourself and don’t be one! Can you talk about your kiddo’s accomplishments? Absolutely, but do it modestly and be sensitive to whom you are speaking. Nana and papa already know you have an amazingly talented kiddo on your hands, so tell them every juicy detail. With your neighbors and friends be sensitive that your preschooler’s accomplishments may be real challenges for their kiddo.
a survey of 400 women found some of the top annoyances on Facebook was bragging about "perfect" lives, complaining all the time and sharing unsolicited political views
Parenting can be challenging. Thank goodness you aren’t alone. You have your partner in crime. Your better half. The mac to your cheese. The Tom to your Jerry…you get the picture. You complement each other… most of the time. When it comes to parenting, is your style black and his white…complete ends of the spectrum?
In general, parenting styles can be defined as the strategies and principles a parent follows in raising her children. Research has found four basic styles:
• permissive Also referred to as indulgent parenting, this style is lenient and more responsive than demanding.
• authoritarian Highly demanding and directive, this style parent makes the rules and expects them to be followed without exception.
• authoritative These parents are demanding and responsive. They are assertive, but not intrusive or restrictive.
• hands off Also called uninvolved parenting, this style is low on demand and response. Most parents of this style fall within a normal range; in the extreme cases it can verge on neglect.
So, which are you? Odds are you don’t fall entirely into one category, which is normal. Same goes for your parenting partner. But you both probably have a dominating style. Can two differing styles live and thrive under one roof? Absolutely, if you can follow these tips:
• talk it out Discuss your parenting goals and values with your partner. What do you hope to instill in your big kid?
• respect Agree to disagree, but don’t criticize your partner’s style…especially in front of your big kid. To win the battle you must have a united front or the kiddos may revolt!
• bend a bit Recognize that each kiddo is different, so your style might work well with your big kid and
your partner’s style for another kiddo. Be ready to adjust and compromise. What’s best for your kiddos is what’s most important.
Can two different parenting styles produce healthy, well-behaved offspring? Yes, but it doesn’t mean it will be easy. If you and your parenting partner are really struggling to see eye to eye and co-parent effectively, seek a third party for help. A counselor or parenting group can be a big help.
They say this is when tweeners start looking to their peers rather than you. Tweeners want to be with their friends, are consumed with their budding social lives and are just too cool for good ol’ mama. Right? Doesn’t sound like your tweener? Is shyness making your tweener—well, not the typical tweener?
Shyness is a personality trait which can range from being uncomfortable or self conscious to having extreme
fear or anxiety of certain situations. Being outgoing and social may be very difficult for your tweener even if he dreams of being the life of the party. Signs of a shy tweener may include an aversion to eye contact or talking in public, extreme anxiousness over initiating conversation or being called on in class. In certain situations, they would prefer to melt into the wall than interact with others or be the object of attention. So how can you help your tweener shake his shyness? First, don’t force things. Being too pushy can just increase anxiety and fear. Try these tips with your tweener:
• i feel ya Be empathetic. Listen to your tweener and don’t minimize his feelings or emotions. Shyness can be perceived as negative in a society that expects tweeners to be outgoing and confident. Let your tweener know you are there to help and support him.
• practice, practice We are all blessed with certain talents that come easily with little to no effort. But we all have things we need to practice to do better. Social skills can be practiced and improved upon by trying new things or participating in new groups or organizations. Assure him that each new opportunity can produce gains in confidence. You can gently nudge, but don’t push. Forcing your tweener into situations that he perceives as unbearable will not produce positive outcomes.
• see it, be it Help your tweener visualize social situations such as going to a school dance and how it can be a successful event for him. Also help your tweener master body language. When speaking to others, talk about making eye contact, projecting his voice, standing tall with his shoulders back.
Small steps can help your tweener make big gains in overcoming his shyness. But if your tweener becomes increasingly withdrawn, depressed or shows other concerning behaviors, talk to your trusted physician.
a psychology today survey found 85% of shy individuals are willing to work seriously at overcoming shyness
You’ve been through a lot. Hours [days…ouch!] of labor. Play dates and birthday parties. Friend fallings out and even…yes…DISNEYWORLD! You’ve survived it all. Now you have a teen under your roof, looking to make his own decisions, spread his wings and test his limits. No doubt there are going to be disagreements and conflict between you and your emerging young adult, but who’s ready for the heart piercing, tongue dagger, “I hate you, mom!”
no you didn’t
More times than not, the “I hate you” comes out in the heat of the moment when your teen doesn’t agree with the authority you are attempting to impose. In that precise moment do they hate you? Yes. But do they really hate you? No. But, boy, talk about a real zinger! I don’t care who you are those are words you never want to hear thrown in your direction. Keep these tips in mind if you encounter the “I ain’t got no love for you” decree: • keep cool As mentioned previously, many times “I hate you” comes out in the heat of the moment, but don’t get caught up in the moment as well and fire an equally hurtful remark. Your teen is an impulsive, emotional being and many times his behavior is going to reflect that. You’re the adult, so act like it. Firing back a, “Yeah? Well…I hate you too!” is not going to help your cause. You will just be demonstrating ineffective conflict resolution, not to mention acting like an immature mama.
• stay strong Whatever issue is promoting the hate talk from your teen, your teen is upset about your stand on the issue…don’t cave in. Stand firm and don’t take his comment to heart. Stick to the point at hand and don’t try to reason with your teen in hopes he will come to his senses, see the wrongs of his thinking and come to the same conclusion as you. Wake up! He’s a teen and thinks he knows more than you. But you’re the truly all-knowing mama. Stay strong!
• pick your battle Yes, you are going to be hot under the collar, but punishing your teen for saying “I hate
you” isn’t the best solution to deter future hurtful comments. You have to pick your battles. Punishing for every verbal comment or disagreement can really be counterproductive. Stay calm, be direct, stick to your guns and if you feel your top ready to blow, walk away.
Now don’t forget that disciplining your teen and setting limits [even if he disagrees] is a form of love. Keep talking and loving your teen. Lastly, if your teen’s comments become threatening or you feel unsafe in your home, seek professional help by talking to your physician, school counselor, a therapist or local crisis organization.
in a 2001 study of adolescents [ages 12-18] 79% reported that they really enjoy spending time with their mamas
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She is our quintessential, “do-it-all” mom and friend who reminds us to remember the woman behind the mom.
I remember the days when I had it all figured out. I was young, newly married and ready to take the world by the tail. I was living in Chicago, working on my career, living in a loft and enjoying the big-city life. Well, to be honest, I landed a computer sales job and the loft was more of a second-floor house apartment and city life consisted of walking to Wrigley when we had enough cash for general admission tickets. But you get the idea: I was headed somewhere. I knew what I wanted and who I was. I was confident and felt like I had a direction. During this time, Sally B.C. [Before Children] would watch moms and think [judge] how I would be different. I would be “put together;” my children wouldn’t cause a scene in the grocery store; and I would continue my career and my goals in life wouldn’t change. I mean, how could they? I would still be the same person, right? Insert giggle here!
The minute I became a mother I had my first identity crisis. Sally A.C. [After Children] fought to maintain a sense of self. The meaning of “put together” turned into “showered” and it didn’t happen every day. My kids making a scene in the grocery store didn’t bother me; it actually seemed easier to handle when I was sharing it with the cashier and other mothers—it was as if they were sympathizing, not judging. In short, I struggled. The once-confident woman was questioning her identity. What had I become—and was it enough?
While my children were young I found myself in a continuous identity crisis. I wanted to be the perfect woman with a balanced career, friends, social life, hobbies, and well-behaved kids. Not to mention being the perfect wife. I fought this for a while, which resulted in lack of sleep, anxiety and ever-present mommy guilt. Then one ordinary Tuesday night I had what I guess you would call an epiphany.
I looked down at three little boys sitting on a bench in a hockey rink waiting for someone [mom] to tie their skates. My boys were waiting patiently [insert another giggle here] for their turn. Through the duration of the next hour I watched them skating on the wrong side of the ice, plowing kids over [accidently, I’m sure] and eating ice shavings while making snow angels. I had a smile on my face the whole time. I was thinking of nothing but my boys and enjoying that moment. Meanwhile, a mother came over and we started visiting, but not about work accomplishments or my many hobbies. It was all about the kids—ages, schools, skating, schedules. I was relaxed and confident on the subject. I answered her questions with ease and enjoyed the conversation. As I drove home it hit me she didn’t even ask my name. To be fair, I didn’t get her name either. From that day on she became “the hockey mom with the puffy coat” [it is still a mystery to me how some ladies make puffy coats cute, but that’s another story]. Our names didn’t matter. That day I realized that I was “the boys’ mom.” I knew I wasn’t the perfect mom but I was the perfect mom for them.
It was then I realized “mom” was probably my strongest identity at that time. I was good at it, I think, and it was something that truly made me happy. It was shortly after that I decided to be a stay-at-home mom. This was not a decision I made on a whim and, frankly, I was scared. But something had to change. I was beating myself up about not knowing exactly what I wanted or
being happy with every aspect of my life. Now I realize a balanced life to me isn’t balanced at all. I have been a newlywed, career woman, a new mom, hockey mom, stay-at-home-mom, basketball mom, career woman again, stay-at-home mom again and currently a career mom—yet again.
Now I slip in and out of identities as fast as Clark Kent becomes Superman. I know this list will continue to repeat itself and possibly include new titles. Today I would tell my young “world-by-the-tail” self to relax and enjoy the questions that an identity crisis raises. Whether it is staying at home, taking a big promotion, or following your passion, it is ok to keep changing and experiencing new things. You will never be able to catch the “tail” if you’re not willing to chase it. It can lead to something wonderful. As I look back now almost 20 years since my first crisis I am celebrating my past choices because they have made me the woman I am. Some might call me indecisive but I like to think of it as evolving—one identity crisis at a time.
Raised in Finley, ND, Deb has called Moorhead her home for the last 11 years. A graduate from Drake University in Des Moines, IA, with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications, she is currently Communication Director for Wanzek Construction. Deb welcomes the pleasant distraction that writing brings and thanks her children Jake [19], Tony [18], Nick [18] and Emily [15] for inspiration. Deb and her husband Tim like to spend their free time running in several directions with kids and on the golf course.
—anonymous
a baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty.photo: rialee photography | ria czichotzki
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