Setting boundaries Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. —1 Peter 3:8
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hile boundaries aim to protect, they must be based on love. The key principles must come from the double-love command to love God and one another, and be rooted in a commitment to pursue the best for those we love, with nothing but the purest motives in our hearts (1 Peter 3:8). As you work out boundaries with those you care for and your family, keep these principles in mind:
that they will have to bear the responsibility for these choices. But if these decisions affect other people’s lives, then you need to negotiate with them.
Give autonomy. God gave Adam and Eve the freedom of choice—and the responsibility of facing the consequences. You may need to assess whether your loved ones have reached or are reaching the end of their capacity to make healthy decisions for themselves. If they are still mentally alert, you need to respect their right to make these decisions—and accept
Try to get all the facts where possible (for instance, a brother may find difficulty chipping in for Mum’s hospital bills because he is also caring for his fatherin-law) and explore all options. Try to understand and respect others’ interests, concerns, and limitations. Remind them that your relationship with them is
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Negotiate. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean drawing up strict rules and insisting that others heed them. Boundaries need to be discussed and negotiated in a loving manner and with pure motives. This way, all parties are more likely to adhere to them voluntarily.
